Mourner attending Pidyon Haben:[1]

16. Onen:[2]

An Onen is not to perform the Mitzvah of Pidyon Haben until after the burial.

1. During Shiva:

An Avel may not participate in a Pidyon Haben if the meal is taking place outside his home. If, however, the meal is taking place inside of the home of the Avel, then the custom is to be lenient to participate.

Father and mother of child:[3] It is permited for parents during Shiva to participate in the Pidyon Haben of their son. [All the other laws of Shiva continue to apply.[4] They thus may not wear leather shoes[5] and according to some Poskim[6] may also not wear Shabbos clothing. From other Poskim[7], however, it is implied that they may wear Shabbos clothing. The father may say Shehechiyanu by the Pidyon.] They, however, may only participate in the meal if it takes place inside their home.

Kohen:[8] A Kohen during Shiva may be honored by a Pidyon Haben with redeeming the first born, starting from after [sunrise[9] of] the third day of Shiva. However, he must Daven at home [and not where the Pidyon Haben is taking place]. [He also may not participate in the meal.[10]] However, within the first three days of Shiva, he is not to leave his home to perform the redemption of a Pidyon Haben. If, however, there is no other Kohen available, he may participate even on the first day of Shiva.

1. During Shloshim:[11]

The ceremony: In all cases the Avel may participate in the actual ceremony of the Pidyon Haben even outside of his home.[12] This applies even if light refreshments will be served afterwards [prior to the meal].[13] One however may not participate while music is playing.[14]

The meal:[15] Some Poskim[16] rule that an Avel may not participate in a Seudas Pidyon Haben. Practically, the custom is for a mourner [of any relative[17]] to avoid eating in any meal of any sort, throughout the period of Aveilus[18], if the meal is taking place outside his home.[19] If, however, the meal is taking place inside of the home of the Avel, then the custom is to be lenient to participate.

Father and mother of child:[20] It is permitted for parents who are in Aveilus to participate in the Pidyon Haben of their son and the meal that follows. Some Poskim[21] rule that they may wear Shabbos clothing.

Siblings/other relatives/close friends: Siblings, and close relatives, or friends, may participate in the Pidyon Haben if they are Mishameish by the meal. They are however to eat on a separate table and not remain during the dancing.

Rav: A Rav who is an Avel may participate in a Pidyon Haben meal if he will give a speech, although he is not to eat by the meal, and is not to remain while music is being played.

Sake of Parnasa: An Avel may participate in a Pidyon Haben meal for the sake of Parnasa.

Mishameish: An Avel may work in the kitchen or in the waiter’s room during a Seudas Bris Milah. [He, however, is to eat alone in a side room.]

Some Poskim rule it is forbidden for an Avel to be a waiter by a meal that he may not participate in. Other Poskim rule it is permitted for an Avel to be a waiter by a meal, whether a wedding meal or Seudas Bris Milah and the like. Practically, the custom is to be lenient. [This applies even during Shloshim.  However one is to only resort to this leniency if he is a relative of the Baal Hasimcha. It is however absolutely forbidden to participate in the meal. He is rather to eat alone in a side room.]

                        

1. During the year of Aveilus:[22]

The ceremony: In all cases, the Avel may participate in the actual ceremony of the Pidyon Haben even outside of his home.[23] This applies even if light refreshments will be served afterwards [prior to the meal].[24] One, however, may not participate while music is playing.[25]

The meal:[26] Some Poskim[27] rule that an Avel after the passing of a parent may not participate in a Seudas Pidyon Haben during the year of Aveilus. Practically, the custom is for a mourner to avoid eating in any meal of any sort, throughout the period of Aveilus[28], if the meal is taking place outside his home.[29] If, however, the meal is taking place inside of the home of the Avel then the custom is to be lenient to participate.

Father and mother of child:[30] It is permitted for parents who are in Aveilus to participate in the Pidyon Haben of their child and in the meal that follows. They may even wear Shabbos clothing.[31]

Siblings/other relatives/close friends: Siblings and close relatives or friends may participate in the Pidyon Haben if they are Mishameish by the meal. They are however to eat on a separate table and not remain during the dancing.

Rav: A Rav who is an Avel may participate in a Pidyon Haben meal if he will give a speech, although he is not to eat in the meal, and is not to remain while music is being played.

Sake of Parnasa: An Avel may participate in a Pidyon Haben meal for the sake of Parnasa.

Mishameish: An Avel may work in the kitchen or in the waiter’s room during a Seudas Bris Milah. [He, however, is to eat alone in a side room.]

Some Poskim rule it is forbidden for an Avel to be a waiter by a meal that he may not participate in. Other Poskim rule it is permitted for an Avel to be a waiter by a meal, whether a wedding meal or Seudas Bris Milah and the like. Practically, the custom is to be lenient. [This applies even during Shloshim.  However one is to only resort to this leniency if he is a relative of the Baal Hasimcha. It is however absolutely forbidden to participate in the meal. He is rather to eat alone in a side room.]

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[1] Rama 391:2; See Nitei Gavriel 25: ; Pidyon Haben Kehilchaso 9:26-31

[2] See Nitei Gavriel 37:9-10

[3] Shvus Yaakov 2:102; Pnei Baruch 20:9

[4] Elya Raba 132:4; Rav Akiva Eiger 393

[5] Birkeiy Yosef 391:1 regarding Sandek; Elya Raba 132:4 in name of Aguda and that that all laws of Aveilus apply to him just like a Sandek; Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 20 footnote 6 and Nitei Gavriel 24:3 footnote 4 and so he concludes there to be stringent

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the father is permitted to wear regular shoes. [Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 24:3 footnote 3]

[6] So rule regarding a Bris: One way of learning Rama 391:2 and so learns Darkei Hachaim 14:8; Birkeiy Yosef 391:1 regarding Sandek; Elya Raba 132:4 that that all laws of Aveilus apply to him just like a Sandek; Darkei Hachaim 14:8 Biur 3 prohibits wearing within Shiva and says he may only wear freshly laundered clothing if another wears it first; Derech Hachaim 263:5 and Kitzur SHU”A 212:3 in their way of learning Rama 392:1 that within Shloshim the Baalei Bris may not wear Shabbos clothing; See Nitei Gavriel 23:25 and Pnei Baruch 20:14

[7] See Shevus Yaakov 2:102; Pischeiy Teshuvah 389:3; Chidushei Rav Akiva Eiger Y.D. 390:5; Devar Moshe 1:88; Misgeres Hashulchan 391; Mishmeres Shalom Pei 8; Gesher Hachaim p. 232; Nitei Gavriel 25:13 footnote 22; So rule regarding Baal Bris: Some Poskim rule the father and mother of the son may wear Shabbos clothing for the Bris. [One way of learning Rama 392:1; Pnei Baruch 20:3; Nitei Gavriel 24:3 footnote 6 in name of Poskim]

[8] Kneses Hagedola in Baiy Chayi Y.D. 241; Chida in Shiyurei Bracha 393; Rav Akiva Eiger 393

[9] Rama 393:1 regarding an Avel leaving his home for a funeral

[10] Rama 391:2

[11] See Nitei Gavriel 25:1

[12] Nitei Gavriel 23:10 in name of Ritva Kesubos 8; Chaim Sheol 21; Gesher Hachaim 21:8; Pnei Baruch 20:23

[13] Teshuvah Meahava 3:413; Pnei Baruch 20:23; Nitei Gavriel 23:28

[14] Pnei Baruch ibid

[15] Rama 391:2; Gesher Hachaim

Custom of Sephardim: The Sephardim are accustomed to attend any Seudas Mitzvah that does not involve Simcha, even during Shloshim. [Birkeiy Yosef 391:2; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 31:1]

[16] Rama 391:2 [2^nd opinion in Rama and final ruling of custom]; Mordechai; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 166:2; Kitzur SHU”A 212:1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 23 footnote 12

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for an Avel to participate in a Seudas Pidyon Haben. [1^st opinion in Rama ibid; Terumos Hadeshen 251]

Eating in a side room: See Nitei Gavriel 23:19 based on Rama 391:3 that a waiter may serve food at the meal and then eat next door.

[17] Taz 391:2; Shach 391:3; Sheilas Yaavetz 180

An Avel for a married sister and other Rabbinical Aveilim: Some Poskim rule that an Avel over a married sister may participate in any Seudas Mitzvah that does not contain Simcha even during the Shloshim. This leniency applies to all Aveilim of relatives whose Shiva is merely Rabbinical. [Sheilas Yaavetz 2:181; Darkei Hachaim 14:2; Nitei Gavriel 23:23 and Poskim in footnote 34 and 32:8 in name of Gur Aryeh 34 and Daas Torah 391] Other Poskim negate this conclusion. [See Pischeiy Teshuvah 391:2; Taz and Shach ibid make no mention of any differentiation]

[18] Meaning, within Shloshim for Aveilim of all relatives [Taz ibid; Shach ibid], and within 12 months for an Avel over a parent. [Rama ibid]

[19] Rama ibid; ; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 166:2; Kitzur SHU”A 212:1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 23 footnote 12; Even those Poskim who are lenient by a Seudas Mitzvah that does not contain Simcha [see Shach 246:27 in name of Maharam Mintz 119, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 391:1; Degul Merivava 391; Pischeiy Teshuvah 391:5; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Gilyon Maharsha 391; Gesher Hachaim 21; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 29:1 footnote 2] are only lenient after Shloshim!

[20] Shvus Yaakov 2:102; Pnei Baruch 20:9

[21] See Shevus Yaakov 2:102; Pischeiy Teshuvah 389:3; Chidushei Rav Akiva Eiger Y.D. 390:5; Devar Moshe 1:88; Misgeres Hashulchan 391; Mishmeres Shalom Pei 8; Gesher Hachaim p. 232; Nitei Gavriel 25:13 footnote 22; So rule regarding Baal Bris: One way of learning Rama 391:2 and so learns Darkei Hachaim 14:8; Birkeiy Yosef 391:1 regarding Sandek; Darkei Hachaim 14:8 Biur 3 prohibits wearing within Shiva and says he may only wear freshly laundered clothing if another wears it first; Nitei Gavriel 23:21 in name of Maharil Milah; Yifei Nof 156; See Nitei Gavriel 23:25 and 24:10 and Pnei Baruch 20:14

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule they may not wear Shabbos clothing during Shloshim. [So rule regarding Baal Bris: Derech Hachaim 263:5 and Kitzur SHU”A 212:3 in their way of learning Rama 391:2 that within Shloshim the Baalei Bris may not wear Shabbos clothing]

[22] See Nitei Gavriel 25:1

[23] Nitei Gavriel 23:10 in name of Ritva Kesubos 8; Chaim Sheol 21; Gesher Hachaim 21:8; Pnei Baruch 20:23

[24] Teshuvah Meahava 3:413; Pnei Baruch 20:23; Nitei Gavriel 23:28

[25] Pnei Baruch ibid

[26] Rama 391:2; Gesher Hachaim 21;

[27] Rama 391:2 [2^nd opinion in Rama and final ruling of custom]; Mordechai; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 166:2; Kitzur SHU”A 212:1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 23 footnote 12

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted for an Avel to participate in a Seudas Pidyon Haben. [1^st opinion in Rama ibid; Terumos Hadeshen 251]

Eating in a side room: See Nitei Gavriel 23:19 based on Rama 391:3 that a waiter may serve food at the meal and then eat next door.

[28] Meaning, within Shloshim for Aveilim of all relatives [Taz ibid; Shach ibid], and within 12 months for an Avel over a parent. [Rama ibid]

[29] Rama ibid; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 166:2; Kitzur SHU”A 212:1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 23 footnote 12; To note, that even those Poskim who are lenient regarding other Seudas Mitzvahs [see Shach 246:27 in name of Maharam Mintz 119, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 391:1; Degul Merivava 391; Pischeiy Teshuvah 391:5; Beis Lechem Yehuda 391; Gilyon Maharsha 391; Gesher Hachaim 21; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 29:1 footnote 2] do not record a leniency regarding a Pidyon Haben!

[30] Shvus Yaakov 2:102; Pnei Baruch 20:9

[31] Shevus Yaakov 2:102; Pischeiy Teshuvah 389:3; Chidushei Rav Akiva Eiger Y.D. 390:5; Devar Moshe 1:88; Misgeres Hashulchan 391; Mishmeres Shalom Pei 8; Gesher Hachaim p. 232; Nitei Gavriel 25:13 footnote 22; So rule regarding Baal Bris: Rama 391:2