6. Kvatrin:[1]

It is customary[2] to have a married couple [by whom the wife is Tahor[3]] bring the baby into the room for the Bris Mila.[4] [The couple is cordially referred to as the Kevatrin, or Kefatir in Yiddish, which means like the father, as they serve as the emissary of the father to bring in the child.[5] Alternatively, it comes from the word Ketores, as the Mila is connected with Ketores.[6]]

How its done: The wife who acts as the Kvaterin takes the baby [from the mother[7] and] brings the child up until the entrance of the shul or room that the circumcision will be taking place. Her husband, who is the male Kvaterin, then takes the baby from her hands and places him on the chair of Eliyahu.

A couple who does not have children:[8] It is customary to honor with the Kvaterin a couple who has yet to merit having children as a Segula for them to procreate.

Wife is Nida:[9] If the wife is a Nida, then the couple may not serve as a Kvaterin being that she cannot pass the child to her husband, and may not do so even if she uses a Shinuiy.

Pregnant woman:[10] It is customary in many communities[11] for a pregnant woman not to be a Kvaterin by a Bris Mila.[12] However, some Poskim[13] rule that this only applies if her pregnancy is recognizable.

If a married couple is not available:[14] If a married couple is not able to serve as a Kvater then the custom is not to have a man and woman who are not married be the Kvaterin. This applies even if the woman a single, and even if the man and woman are relatives, with exception to a father and daughter, or a son and mother, or brother and sister by whom it is permitted for them to be Kvaterin. [If there is no woman available, then the male Kevater should perform the entire duty himself.[15]]

Chasan and Kallah:[16] A Chasan and Kallah may not be Kvaterin being that they are not yet married.[17] However, some are lenient in this matter.[18]

Giving a gift to the mother:[19] Some communities have the custom for the wife who serves as the Kevater to give a gift to the mother upon taking the baby from her, in order to rejoice her at the time of the mitzvah and help dissipate the pain she will have from the pain of her son.

Shabbos clothing:[20] It is customary for the wife who is serving as the Kvater to wear Shabbos clothing. This applies even during the nine days. However, some Poskim[21] rule that the husband is not required to wear Shabbos clothing, and may not do so during the nine days. Other Poskim[22], however, rule that even the husband is to wear Shabbos clothing, and may do so during the nine days.

Tallis:[23] It is customary for the husband who is serving as the Kvater to wear a Tallis while he brings the baby for the circumcision.

[1] See Rama Y.D. 265:11 [regarding wife bringing to Sandek]; Maharil Hilchos Mila; Bris Avos 5:3; Koreis Habris 265:63; Chosem Kodesh Y.D. 17; Zocher Habris 19:14; Likkutei Sichos 22:56-58; Shevach Habris 16:1-5; Bris Nasan p. 32; See Pesakim Uteshuvos 265:31

[2] See Rama ibid that from the letter of the law, the man can do everything himself and there is no need to involve the woman.

[3] See below

[4] The reason for having a married couple: Some suggest the reason for this custom of having a married couple bring the child into the room is because in majority of cases it is not possible for the father to take the child from his wife who is impure and it is improper for him to take the child from another woman, and hence we have a married couple do so. [Sefer Matamim Mareches Mila 35] The reason a woman is used to bring the child is because women are connected to the Mitzvah of Mila, as connected in scripture in the verses of Tazria. [Likkutei Sichos 22 p. 56]

[5] Sefer Matamim p. 39; Bris Nasan ibid

[6] Aruch Hashulchan Y.D. 265:35

[7] Minhagei Wormz   

[8] Beis Dovid 265:28; Otzer Habris 12:9; Ashrei Yoladito p. 141 based on Midrash Raba Emor 27 and Midrash Tanchuma ; Shevach Habris 16:2

[9] Shiureiy Sheivet Halevi p. 253; Kitzur Dinei Taharah 3:6

[10] Bris Avos 5:26 in name of Likkutei Sefer; Toras Alef 3:34; Zocher Habris 11:13; Michtav Oz of Minchas Elazar; Likkutei Sichos 22:56-58 [custom of many places], printed in Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 2:34 and Shulchan Menachem 5:111; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 152:1; Beir Moshe; See Shevach Habris 1:17 and 16:4 p. 28 and footnote 29; Nitei Gavriel 56:8

[11] Likkutei Sichos ibid that it requires further research as to whether this is the custom in all places

[12] The reason: Several reasons are recorded behind this custom, including: 1) It is a [mystical] danger for her fetus due to the evil eye; 2) She won’t pay proper attention to the infant she is holding. [Bris Avos 5:26; Toras Alef 3:34] Alternatively, the reason is because we only desire that two people escort the child and not three, and a woman who is pregnant is considered as if she is two people. [Likkutei Sichos ibid]

[13] Minchas Elazar on Sefer Zocher Habris; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 152:2

[14] Koreis Habris 265:63; Chosem Kodesh Y.D. 17; Zocher Habris 19:14; Shevach Habris 16:2; See however Aruch Hashulchan 265:35 who writes that one can have a husband and wife act as the Kevatrin, or a single girl and single boy.

[15] See Rama ibid

[16] Shevach Habris 16:2

[17] Chosem Kodesh Y.D. 17; Zocher Habris 19:14; See Os Shalom 265:28

[18] Otzer Habris 3:12 footnote 45; See Aruch Hashulchan 265:35

[19] Minhagei Wormz 

[20] M”A O.C. 551:3; Shevach Habris 16:5

[21] M”A O.C. 551:3; Chayeh Adam 133:21; Kitzur SHU”A 122:15; M”B 551:3; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid

[22] Elya Raba 551:27; Beis Meir 551; Shaar Hatziyon 551; See Machatzis Hashekel ibid

[23] Sefer Matamim Mareches Mila 59; Bris Avos 5:18; Otzer Habris 12:12; Shevach Habris 16:5