To whom must one show gratitude:

One is obligated to show gratitude to every creation that caused him good, including even animals, vegetation, and even to the inanimate.

Inanimate:[1] One is to show gratitude even to the inanimate. The Poskim[2] record that there were Dayanim who would refuse to take cases which involved objects that they benefited from due to this reason.

Animals:[3] One is obligated to show gratitude even to animals who have done him good.

One who did one a favor for his own benefit:[4] One is obligated to show gratitude to the individual even if they did so for their own benefit [i. e. Lo Lishma]. Thus, one is obligated to honor his parents and to honor Hashem in gratitude of the good that they have provided him, even if one can argue that they did so for their own benefit. So is understood from the fact that God gave Nevuchadnetzar, the king of Babylon, the land of Egypt as a reward for conquering the evil city of Tyre[5] even though he did so for his own benefit, as at the end of the day he fulfilled God’s will as a result of his actions, and therefore God showed him thanks and gratitude. From here we can learn that if a Jew did for one a favor, then all the more so is one obligated to show him gratitude and love and is not to make calculations as to whether the individual did it for ulterior motives or due to his nature, and not as a true act of kindness. This is aside from the fact that it is not clear at all as to what the intentions of his friend was, and one must give him the benefit of the doubt, as the sages clearly state that a good guest expresses that everything that his host did, he did for him.[6]

Those who have also wronged you – Showing gratitude even to an enemy:[7] One is obligated to show gratitude to one who has done him good even if that same person has also caused him pain and done him harm, nonetheless one must also remember the good that he has done for him. Furthermore, one is required to show gratitude even to an enemy who has caused one to suffer, if that enemy has also done good for the person. Thus, Moshe refused to take vengeance against Midyan, as Midyan had provided him with good and he was obligated to show gratitude.[8] Likewise, Moshe pushed back against confronting Pharaoh due to this reason.[9] Likewise, it is for this reason that the Jewish people did not fight the Egyptians and go to war against them despite having many weapons and G-d rather arranged for them to die through drowning them in the red sea.[10] Likewise, it is for this reason that Joseph did not fight back against the wife of Potifar and forcibly take back his jacket from her hands.[11] [Likewise, we find that the Alter Rebbe showed gratitude towards his belligerent host to whom he was accidentally taken upon his release from imprisonment, and refused to leave prior to finishing the tea that he was offered as a sign of honor and respect towards his host.[12]]

A guest showing gratitude to a host: The sages[13] state that whoever opens his home for his friend, his soul remains indebted towards him. Even if the host only fed him bread and salt, he should have gratitude to his friend.[14]

One who did so due to his Mitzvah obligations:[15] One is to show gratitude to individual who did one a favor, even if the favor was a fulfillment of a Mitzvah, and the person will be rewarded from G-d. Nonetheless, the recipient is also to show his gratitude in addition to the reward that G-d will give the individual.

One who received payment for his services:[16] One is to show gratitude even to an individual who is being paid for his services, such as a doctor who treated a patient with care and devotion, in addition to paying the doctor his fee, one must also show gratitude to the individual. In fact, the Rebbe states in the name of the Rebbe Rayatz, that showing gratitude in addition to the actual payment fee helps with the success of the service received, and encourages the service providers to continue their work.[17]

A Gentile:[18] As evident from the sources brought above, the obligation to show gratitude to one who has shown him kindness, applies even if a Gentile showed him the kindness. There is no prohibition of Lo Sichaneim in such a case, if one gives a gift to a Gentile as a sign of gratitude.[19] Nonetheless, the gift must be proportionate to the kindness done and not more.

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[1] See Rashi Shemos 7:19; 8:12

[2] Shita Mekibetzes Bava Kama 92b; See also Har Tzevi on Tur C.M. 7

[3] See Bechoros 5b regarding Peter Chamor; Rashi Mishpatim 22:30 regarding dogs

[4] Toras Menachem 48:424; Likkutei Sichos 21:45 and 36:33; See also Likkutei Sichos Vol. 8 Sicha 1

[5] See Yechezkal 29:20

[6] See Brachos 58a

[7] Toras Moshe Parshas Beshalach; See Rashi Devarim 23:8; Yevamos 63a

[8] Yalkut Shimoni Bamidbar 31

[9] Midrash Raba 4:2

[10] Toras Moshe Parshas Beshalach; Kesav Sofer Beshalach

[11] Ramban Bereishis 39:12; Kesav Sofer Beshalach

[12] See Beis Rebbe chapter 32; Sefer Hatoldos Alter Rebbe 3:708

[13] Midrash Raba 4:2 that so said Moshe regarding Yisro and Eliyahu regarding the Tzarfit widow

[14] Tana Dvei Eliyahu Raba 18

[15] Likkutei Sichos 14:264; Igros Kodesh 26:460

[16] See Kefar Chabad 1041 p. 73 regarding how gracious the Rebbe was to the doctor who helped treat the Rebbetzin, in addition to the payment fee

[17]  See Kefar Chabad 1041 p. 73 “I had occasion to hear a thought from my father-in-law, may the memory of a tzaddik be for a blessing — a thought that has its place in our Torah, which is called the Torah of Life (as it serves as our guide and source of life) — that in order to assure the success of the medical treatment, the remuneration for the doctor’s services are to be in keeping with the medical stature of the treating physician. In point of fact, this principle applies to all professions and services, including communal services. It need not be said that my father-in-law put this into practice and I wish to do the same. I therefore am taking the liberty to enclose my check, although I am not sure whether this is the appropriate payment. I am sure, however, that if this sum does not suffice, you will see to it that your secretary contacts my secretary so that I will be able to rectify the matter. One of the primary reasons for the above principle is the fact that the Torah is aware that a doctor or someone with another occupation has fiscal responsibilities to his family and community, etc., responsibilities that he can adequately take care of only if his services are adequately paid for. Therefore, if the receiver of the services does not satisfactorily reimburse the provider of the service, a thought might arise in the doctor’s mind (fleeting as it might be) that it would be acceptable for him next time to delay treating this individual in favor of an individual who pays what is expected of him. Consequently, the Torah strives to remove even the possibility of such a thought. Thus, whatever occupation Providence had in mind for an individual to carry out for the benefit of others, this will always be done with total dedication and devotion. Once again, my great thanks. With respect and personal regards. P.S. After this letter was written, your official bill was received. Enclosed please find a check. However, as I emphasized, this is a formal payment while my letter and the [other] attached payment are on a personal basis, as a much deeper and more personal gesture than that of the formal relationship between doctor and patient.”

[18] See Shiurei Torah Larofim 2:134

[19] See Beir Moshe 3:117; Shraga Hameir 7:155; Ateres Paz C.M. 1:3-12

The reason: As Lo Sichaneim does not apply when one knows the gentile [Taz Y.D. 151:8] and giving him the present can bring one future benefit, such as for example, that the person continue providing one his service. [Beir Moshe ibid]