Chapter 9: Naming the baby

1. The meaning behind a name:[1]

It is explained in the teachings of Kabbalah that the name of a person is the channel through which all of his spiritual life and energy is drawn through.

2. When to give the name:

1. Girls:[2]

Naming by first Keiras Hatorah-Chabad custom: The Chabad custom[3], based on a directive of the Alter Rebbe[4], Rebbe Rayatz[5] and Rebbe[6], is to be particular to name a daughter at the first opportunity, which is at the first available Kerias Hatorah [i.e. Monday, Thursday, Shabbos, Shabbos afternoon by Mincha, fast day, Yom Tov, Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah, Purim, etc etc, whichever comes first].[7] This is likewise the custom of other sects of Jewry.[8] If only this custom would become widespread amongst all Jewry, as being particular in this matter is connected with hastening the final redemption.[9] [Thus, if the child was born on Shabbos afternoon, if possible, the name should be given by Shabbos Mincha.[10]]

Other customs:[11] There are those who delay naming the daughter until the Shabbos after the birth.[12] Others delay naming the child until five days after birth.[13]

Not to use the name until the official naming of the child:[14] Whatever the case of when one names the child, even if one already decided on a name, one should not call the child by the name until the actual naming.

Prior to birth:[15] Prior to the birth of the child, one is not discuss with others the planned name of the child. [However, the parents may discuss it amongst themselves].

B. Boy:

The custom is to name a boy on the day of his circumcision, and  not beforehand.[16] [The name is given within the blessing that is said following the circumcision.] Even if the parents have already decided on a name, they should not call the child by the name until the actual naming after the Bris.[17]

Prior to birth:[18] Prior to the birth of the child, one is not to discuss with others the planned name of the child. [However, the parents may discuss it amongst themselves].

What should one do if one is asked to write the name of the child on a legal document prior to the naming taken place?[19] In such a case, one may write the name that the parents decided on, although they should not verbalize the name.

  When to name if the child is sick and the Bris is delayed:[20]

One does not officially name the child until the actual circumcision, even if the child is sick and cannot be circumcised for many weeks or even years after the birth.[21] For the Mi Shebeirach that is said on his behalf, one should refer to the child by the term “Ben Hanolad or Yeled ben Plonis.”

Other customs and opinions: Some write that if the child is sick and is in need of prayer, then one may name the child by the first Torah reading opportunity, even prior to the passing of eight days.[22] However, when the circumcision takes place, the regular Mi Shebeirach for naming the child is to be recited.[23] Likewise, some write that one should not delay naming the child for more than 30 days, and in the event that the circumcision will be delayed for more than 30 days, then the child is to be named before his circumcision.[24] Others write that he should be named immediately after eight days have passed when the father is called up for an Aliyah, if the circumcision has yet to take place.[25] Others write that in the event one knows that the circumcision will be delayed, then in such a case he should be named immediately even prior to the passing of eight days.[26]

Informing the Rebbe to Daven for the child: Some write that in such cases the Rebbe would ask the individual to inform him of the intended name so he can pray for him to get better, although they should not yet publicize the name to others, not even his own parents.[27]

Pidyon Haben:[28] If the child will be having a Pidyon Haben prior to his circumcision which is delayed due to him being sick, then some write that the name should be given by the Pidyon Haben, although others maintain that even in this case the naming should be delayed until the circumcision.

No circumcision:[29] In the event that the boy will not be circumcised, such as if his brothers died due to circumcision, then according to all opinions he is to be given a name at the first opportunity of Torah reading after the birth.

3. How to name a girl:[30]

The naming of the girl takes place during a special Mi Shebeirach that is recited on behalf of the mother for her quick recovery, and within that Mi Shebeirach we mention the name of the daughter. Some are particular that the naming take place specifically in the presence of the father with him verbalizing the name by the Mi Shebeirach.[31]

The Nussach: A separate Nussach of Mi Shebeirach is recited for the birth of a son versus the birth of a daughter. The exact change of wording can be found in the Siddur. The Chabad custom is to conclude also by a daughter with the words, “Yigadluha Letorah Ulechuppah, Ulimaasim Tovim” in the Mi Shebeirach.[32]

Name of mother versus father: One is to state the name of the mother of the Yoledes upon reciting the Mi Shebeirach for a Yoledes [i.e. Shayna Bas Rivka]. However, when saying the name of the daughter, one states her name and the name of the father [who received the Aliyah].

Getting an Aliyah:[33] The father is to get an Aliyah on the day of the naming of his daughter. Some Poskim[34] learn that he is considered a Chiyuv. Other Poskim[35], however, learn that he is not considered a Chiyuv, although the custom is to give him an Aliyah. In the event that the father could not be given an Aliyah, such as if there were higher level Chiyuvim present who preceded him, then he is to at the very least be given Hagbah or Gelila. Nonetheless, even if he was not given any honorary task involving the Torah, the naming may still take place with the customary Mi Shebeirach.[36]

4. The naming rights, father versus mother, versus grandparents:[37]

Background from Scripture: In scripture, we find that at times the name was given by father and at times that the name was given by the mother. For example, Scripture states that Abraham named his son Isaac.[38] On the other hand, regarding the names of the tribes it states that the mothers gave them all of their names [besides for Benjamin who was named by his father[39]].[40] In other areas of Scripture we find that the names were given by both the father and the mother.[41] In other areas of Scripture we find that the names were given by other people entirely[42], and not the parents. Practically, the Rebbe negated using these scriptural sources as a guiding principle for naming rights of a father versus the mother.[43] Nonetheless, some Mefarshim conclude that in times of Scripture the custom was for the father to name his first child, and for the mother to name the second child and for the father to then name the third child, and so on and so forth, with parents taking turns for naming rights for each subsequent child.[44] Other Mefarshim, however, possibly negate this.[45]

Parents versus grandparents:[46] The rights for naming a child belong solely to the parents, the father and mother, and not the grandparents. [Hence, if the parents were coerced into giving their child a name not of their liking due to pressure from their own parents, they are to reconvene to decide on an additional name to give the child. Nonetheless, they are not to heaven forbid nullify the name already given and blessed in a Mi Shebeirach and are simply to add another name to it.[47] Nonetheless, on one occasion, the Rebbe instructed an individual who wanted to name his child after one of the Rabbeim, in contrast to his father’s wishes who wanted him to name the child after his grandfather, that out of Kibbud Av Vaeim he should listen to the request of his father, and he may then add whatever other name he wants to his grandfather’s name.[48] Hence, it seems that in times of need and for the purpose of Shalom Bayis the Rebbe suggested both allowing the grandfather to choose the name and to also add to the name of the Rabbeim, unlike that which was stated above.[49]]

Father versus mother:[50] In an area without a set custom to the contrary[51], then one should follow the order of having the father choose the name for the first child and the mother for the second child, with the parents taking turns for naming rights for each subsequent child.[52] Nonetheless, whatever name is chosen by the given parent must be mutually agreed upon by the other parent as the name chosen for a child must be accepted by both parents.[53] In the event that an agreement cannot be reached between the two parents, then they are to consult with  the local community Rav and obey his directive.[54] [One option to solving the dispute is to call the child by both names.[55] In the event that one of the parents of the couple passed away before the birth, then one should give precedence to naming the child after that parent, irrelevant of whose turn it is for the naming.[56]]  

Quarreling over the name:[57] Quarrelling and fighting in the home of a woman after birth causes danger to the newborn child, and hence the parents are to beware not to quarrel over the name.

Having one’s Rabbi and Rebbe name the child:[58] One’s Rabbi or Rebbe should not be the one to choose the name for the child, as stated above that the naming responsibility belongs specifically to the parents.

What name to choose-Laws, Regulations & Hazards:

A. The grave responsibility of naming a child:[59]

The naming of an individual is no trivial matter, and is a very great responsibility, being that it is explained in the teachings of Kabbalah that the name of a person is the channel through which all of his spiritual life and energy is drawn through.

B. A name is given with divine inspiration from G-d:[60]

It is written in the writings of the Arizal[61] that when a person is born and he is given a name by his father and mother, the name chosen was in truth placed into their minds and mouths by G-d, as G-d inspires the parents to choose a name which directly corresponds to the soul of the child. This applies to both a son and a daughter, that the idea of the name is placed into the head of the parents from on high. This name is imprinted on the divine throne.

C. Choosing a name through a Goral:[62]

Some are accustomed that if they cannot figure out what name to choose for their child, to open a book of Chumash or Tanach and pick a name based on a name that they see on the right page that they opened to.

D. Naming one’s child after one’s parent who has passed away:[63]

It is customary for children to name their own children after the names of their parents.[64] Doing so is included in the Mitzvah of honoring one’s parents.[65] [This should be done even if the parent passed away at a young age.[66] If the father passed away prior to the birth of the son, then the custom is to name the child after his deceased father.[67]]

Grandparent: Naming a child after one’s grandparent is likewise considered an honor to one’s parents.[68] [Nevertheless, naming one’s child after one’s own parent comes before naming them after one’s grandparent.[69]]

Adding a name:[70] It is permitted for one to add another name to the original name of the parent and call the child by both names or by only the parents name. However, he should not call the child by only the second name which is not the name of the parent.

E. Naming one’s son or daughter after one’s father or mother while they’re still alive:[71]

Sephardim: The Sephardic custom is to name their children after their parents [i.e. the grandparents of the newborn] even during the life of the parents.[72] This is done out of fulfillment of the Mitzvah of honoring one’s parents, as naming one’s child after one’s parent is considered a matter of honor and respect. The Rebbe was accustomed to respond to people of Sephardic lineage that they may name their children after their living parents.[73] [This raises the question as to how this child is to be called by his parents, being that he shares the same name as their father or mother. Practically, if it is a common name, then according to all Poskim[74] the child may be called by that name while not in the presence of the grandparent, and according to most Poskim[75], the child may be called by that name even in the presence of the grandparent. However, Sephardim are to be stringent in this matter while in the presence of the parent.[76] If, however, it is an uncommon name, then the child may not be called by that name while in the presence of the grandparent[77], and according to some Poskim[78] should not be called by the name even not in the presence of the grandparent. Practically, Sephardim are to be stringent in this matter.[79] Accordingly, it is best for the child to be called by a nickname, such as Yossi instead of Yosef, in which case it is permitted according to all.]

Ashkenazim: The Ashkenazi custom is not to name a child after the father or mother of the parents [i.e., grandparents] while they are still alive.[80] [Likewise, we do not initially name a child after a great grandparent that is still alive.[81]] One may not swerve from this custom due to the potential danger involved.[82] The Rebbe was accustomed to respond to people of Ashkenazi lineage to not name their children after their living parents.[83]

Ashkenazim-If already named child: If one of Ashkenazi lineage already named their child after one of the child’s living grandparents then he should not change the name.[84] This especially applies if the name given is not the same name as the paternal grandfather.[85] This especially applies if the child has two or more names and only one of the names of the child are the same as the name of the grandparent.[86] Nonetheless, it is proper to call the child by the name that is not shared with the grandparent.[87]

F. Naming after Tzadik or one’s Rebbe:

It is customary to name one’s children after the names of Tzaddikim, and for Chassidim to name their children after the name of their Rebbes.[88] [The same applies regarding girls, that they are to be named after righteous women.[89]]

Versus name of parent: Naming after one’s Rebbe may even have precedence over naming after one’s parent.[90] However, some Poskim[91] rule that naming after one’s parent takes precedence.

Not to add a name to the name of the Rebbe:[92] When naming a child after one of the Chabad Rabbeim, the Rebbe Rayatz was not fond of having another name added to it.[93] [For example, if one wouldlike to name his child after the Rebbe, he should only be named Menachem Mendel, and not have a third name added to his name.] This applies even if the added name corresponds to the name of a deceased relative. The child shall either be named completely by the name of the relative or only by the name of the Rebbe, and not with a mixture of both names. [Thus when naming a child after a deceased relative who had two names, and one of the names happens to be a name of one of the Rabbeim, one should not intend for the name to also be in memory of that Rebbe.[94] Nonetheless, on one occasion, the Rebbe instructed an individual who wanted to name his child after one of the Rabbeim, in contrast to his father’s wishes who wanted him to name the child after his grandfather, that out of Kibbud Av Vaeim he should listen to the request of his father, and he may then add whatever other name he wants to his grandfather’s name.[95] Hence, it seems that in times of need and for the purpose of Shalom Bayis the Rebbe suggested both allowing the grandfather to choose the name and to also add to the name of the Rabbeim, unlike that which was stated above.[96]]

Naming the child by only one of the names of the Rebbe:[97] If it is not possible for one to name a child after the full name of the Rebbe, such as if one of the names is already taken by a parent or sibling, then it suffices to name the child after one of the names. For example, one can name the child Yosef or Yitzchak after the Rebbe Rayatz, and it is not necessary to name him by both names. However, as stated previously, a second name which is not of the Rebbe should not be added to the name.

G. Naming after a name in that week’s Parsha or a name relevant to that holiday:

Some are accustomed to name their child after a name that is recorded in that week’s Torah portion, or in that week’s Haftorah.[98] Likewise, some are accustomed to naming their children after the heroes of a holiday that falls in close approximation with the birth, such as a child who is being circumcised on Tisha b’Av is called Menachem while a child who is being circumcised on Purim is called Mordechai.[99]

Unsuccessful names-Not to name a child with a name that has history of unsuccess:[100]

If a number of individuals with the same name have been unsuccessful in life, then one is to not name his child with that name. This applies even to one’s own father who is deceased. Thus, if one named his son after his deceased father and the son was not successful, and also his brother named his son after the father and his son was not successful, then the third or fourth brother is not to call their sons by their father’s name, as with two times there is a Chazakah that the name does not carry good luck. This certainly applies if three brothers named their sons by the father’s name and none of them were successful, in which case it is considered a Chazakah according to all. [Nonetheless, the custom is not to be particular against naming after a person who was poor.[101]]

Not to name after person who died tragically:[102]

It is customary not to name a child after an individual who died young [prior to age 60[103]]. [If, however, one adds a second name to the name, then one may be lenient.[104] One is to place the added name as the first name, and the name of the person who he is naming after as second.[105] Alternatively, one should slightly change the name from the origin, such as to call him Yeshaya instead of Yeshayahu.[106] Some Poskim[107] argue that the above adherence only applies if the person was killed and did not die a natural death on his bed, unless he died without children in which case one should not name a person after him.[108]]

Naming after tragically deceased parent:[109] The above rule is with exception to one who is naming the child after his or her father or mother, the grandparent of the newborn, in which case one may name after them even if they died tragically and young, being that the Mitzvah of honoring one’s parent protects one from any evil eye.

Naming after tragically deceased sibling: See next Halacha.

Naming after person who died Al Kiddush Hashem:[110] There is no issue with naming a child after an individual who was tragically murdered by Gentiles Al Kiddush Hashem. On matters like these, we apply the rule that those who are not particular we are not particular with them[111], and on the contrary, it is a great merit to name a child after a person who was killed Al Kiddush Hashem.[112] Accordingly, one may name children after those killed in the holocaust.

Naming son after his deceased brother:[113]

It is a danger to name one’s child after his deceased brother. [However, some write that if one adds a name to the name of the deceased brother, having the name of the deceased brother come last, then not only is it permitted to be done, but it is even a good Segula to do so.[114] Some Poskim[115] rule that this warning only applies to maternal siblings. However, other Poskim[116] rule that it applies even to paternal siblings. The Rebbe is quoted to have once directed an individual to not worry about the matter, and that if both the father and mother agree to name the child after a sibling who tragically died young, then there is no worry in doing so, especially if they add another name.[117]]

Naming after person who died after the birth of the child:

Some Poskim[118] rule that one should not name a child after a person who passed away only after the birth of the child. Other Poskim[119], however, rule that it is permitted to do so.

  Names to avoid:[120]

Some[121] write that one is to avoid naming his son any of the following names:

1. Yehuda and Shmuel. [Some say that this warning only applies to the descendants of Rav Yehuda Hachassid.[122] However, we find that even his own descendants did not abide by this warning.[123] Hence there is no need to be worried of this matter, and the practical custom amongst all Jewry is to name one’s children Yehuda and Shmuel.[124]]
2. Avraham
3. Yitzchak
4. Yaakov
5. Moshe

Practically, one who has not received this tradition and has named his sons these names will be protected by Hashem.[125]

Naming after a living relative:[126]

One is not to name a child after a living relative.[127] Sephardim, however, are not particular in this matter.[128] According to all, one is not to name his child after himself.[129]

Naming after deceased before burial:[130]

Some Poskim[131] rule that one should not name a child after a person who has passed away but has yet to be buried. Other Poskim[132] question this assertion.

Naming two sons the same name:[133]

One is not to name two sons with the same name even if one of the sons is no longer alive.[134] However, some Poskim[135] are lenient in this.

Naming a girl after a man and vice versa:

Some Poskim[136] rule that one should not name a girl after the name of a man, such as Dina after a man named Dan. However, one may name a boy after a woman.[137] Other Poskim[138], however, rule that even a girl may be named after a man.

Q. Hebrew name versus name in other languages:[139]

Whenever a child will be given two names with one of the names being a non-Hebrew language name, then the custom is to perceive the Hebrew name and have the non-Hebrew name follow it as the second name of the child.

6. Changing a name:

A. Having second thoughts on a name:[140]

If one has second thoughts and desires to change the name of their child after it was already given through a Mi Shebeirach, then rather than give up the name Chas Veshalom, one should simply add another name to the name.

B. Said wrong name by the Mi Shebeirach:[141]

If the wrong name was accidentally given or recited by the Mi Shebeirach for the naming of the child, this is meaningless, and the child is to be called by his correct name and have a new Mi Shebeirach recited with the correct name.

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[1] See Shelah Hakdama Bayis Achron; Tanya Shaar Hayichud Vihaemuna end of chapter 1; Likkutei Torah Behar 41; Igros Kodesh 5:123; Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364

[2] See Igros Kodesh 4:48; 20:226; 22:260; Likkutei Sichos 14 p. 250; Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364; See Shulchan Menachem 5 p. 158-159, Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3 p. 297; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 219 in name of Bnei Yissachar; Ziv Hasheimos 1:5-6; Toras Hayoeldes 60:7

[3] Sefer Haminhagim p. 15; Igros Kodesh 22:260

[4] Igros Kodesh 4:48, brought in Likkutei Sichos 12:182

[5] Igros Kodesh 4:48; Likkutei Sichos 14 p. 250

[6] All sources ibid

[7] The source for the Chabad custom: This was the directive of the Alter Rebbe to his son, the Mittler Rebbe, upon the birth of one of his daughters, in which he stated at that although there is reason to hold off the naming of a daughter until the Torah reading of Shabbos, nonetheless, there are greater and more overpowering reasons not to delay the naming, and to rather name the daughter on the first day in which the Torah is read after the birth. This story was related by the Rebbe Rayatz and is a public directive for all. [Igros Kodesh 4:48]

The reason: As the name of an individual is the life force and divine energy of the individual. [Now, just as we name a boy immediately upon circumcising him, so too] we should name a daughter immediately upon her being born as the sages state that a girl is considered as if she is already circumcised [Avoda Zara 27a; Derisha Y.D. 360], and it is obvious that the intent of this statement applies immediately upon birth. [Igros Kodesh 20:226; 22:260; See Sefer Ziv Hasheimos 3 footnote 15] From a different angle, from the fact that it states that the G-dly soul enters into the body of a boy upon his circumcision [Admur Basra end of 4; See Likkutei Sichos 3:763], we could deduce that by a girl, the soul enters the body immediately upon her birth, being that a woman is considered to be born in a circumcised state. At the very latest, the entrance of her godly soul is when she is given a name. Accordingly, we are careful to give a name to a girl as soon as possible, by the first Torah reading opportunity after birth. [Likkutei Sichos 14 p. 250; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 219 in name of Bnei Yissachar] Alternatively, the reason is because the Talmud [Yevamos 62a] states that the son of David will only arrive after all the souls are depleted from the spiritual warehouse of souls known as “Guf.” Now, the connection of the souls to the body is dependent on the letters of one’s name [and hence naming the child draws the soul down from its warehouse and is hence not be delayed]. [Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364]

[8] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 219 in name of Bnei Yissachar; Maharam Brisk 2:7; Kochav Miyaakov 159; Igros Moshe E.H. 3:35; Nitei Gavriel 70:9 footnote 17 in name of many Sefarim and Gedolei Yisrael  and communities

[9] Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364

The reason: As the Talmud [Yevamos 62a] states that the son of David will only arrive after all the souls are depleted from the spiritual warehouse of souls known as “Guf.” Now, the connection of the souls to the body is dependent on the letters of one’s name [and hence naming the child draws the soul down from its warehouse and is hence not be delayed]. [Toras Menachem 5750 Vol. 3 p. 364]

[10] See Nitei Gavriel 70:10

[11] See Nitei Gavriel 70:8-9 footnote 13 and 16

[12] Zichoron Yosef O.C. 10; Daas Torah 282; Minchas Yitzchak 4:107; Mishneh Halachos 3:321; See Igros Kodesh 4:48 in name of Alter Rebbe; Nitei Gavriel 70:9 footnote 16 in name of many Sefarim and communities and Gedolei Yisrael

[13] Sefer Taamei Haminhagim 4:75 in name of Maharash Belz [The Rebbe questions the authenticity of this statement and concludes that whatever the case, we must follow the directive of our Rabbeim]; See Nitei Gavriel 70:11 footnote 19 in name of many Sefarim and communities

[14] Shut Hamaor 1:2134; Mivaser Tov 79; Chesed Leavraham Azulai Mayan 2 Nehar 52; Ziv Hasheimos 2; Shevach Habris 21:1

[15] See Shut Hamaor 1:2134; Mivaser Tov 79; Chesed Leavraham Azulai Mayan 2 Nehar 52; Ziv Hasheimos 2; Chemdas Tzevi 5:42; Shevach Habris 20:1; Nitei Gavriel 71:1

[16] Shut Hamaor 1:2134; Mivaser Tov 79; Chesed Leavraham Azulai Mayan 2 Nehar 52; Ziv Hasheimos 2; Bris Avos 8:1; Shevach Habris 20:1; Many Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 70:1 footnote 1

The reason: The custom is not to name the child until after the circumcision when the foreskin which comes from impurity has been removed only then can the holiness of the soul fall upon him. [Chesed Leavraham ibid]

[17] Shut Hamaor 1:2134; Mivaser Tov 79; Chesed Leavraham Azulai Mayan 2 Nehar 52; Ziv Hasheimos 2; Shevach Habris 21:1

[18] See Shut Hamaor 1:2134; Mivaser Tov 79; Chesed Leavraham Azulai Mayan 2 Nehar 52; Ziv Hasheimos 2; Chemdas Tzevi 5:42; Shevach Habris 20:1; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[19] Zecher David 1:1; Shevach Habris 20:31; Nitei Gavriel 71:2; See Igros Moshe 3:35

[20] See Nitei Gavriel 70:2-4; Shevach Habris 20:18-19; Toras Hayoeldes 60:6

[21] Chamudei Daniel Y.D. 262; Betzel Hachaochma 6:10; Zecher David Mamar 1:91; Sefer Habris p. 282:51; Nitei Gavriel 70:1 and 2; Shevach Habris ibid footnote 26 in name of Rabbanei Anash

[22] Az Nidbaru 13:73; Asia 4 p. 249 in name of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and other rabbis and Admurim, brought in Nitei Gavriel 70:2 footnote 3 and Shevach Habris ibid

[23] Az Nidbaru 13:73; Otzer Habris 6:2-1 in name of Rav SZ”A

[24] Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:604

[25] Koreis Habris 32; Bris Avos 8:2; Hillel Omer Y.D. 151

[26] Koreis Habris p. 298

[27] Shevach Habris ibid in name of Rabbi Label Groner; Nitei Gavriel 70:2 footnote 3

[28] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[29] Tiferes Banim 5; Sefer Koreis Habris; Mahram Brisk 2:7; Divrei Yatziv Y.D. 148; Nitei Gavriel 70:5; Shevach Habris 20:19 footnote 31

[30] See Derisha Y.D. 360:2; Mishmeres Shalom Kudinav 20:2; Nitei Gavriel 70:6-7 footnote 13 in length

[31] See Yad Aaron E.H. 129; Nitei Gavriel 70:9 footnote 15

[32] Sefer Haminhagim p. 15; Igros Kodesh 5:149; 186 in name of Rebbe Rashab; 12:341 based on Brachos 17a; Shevach Habris 21:1

[33] See Shevach Habris 21:1 footnote 2; Nitei Gavriel 9:6 footnote 13

[34] M”A 282 in end that the father of a newborn daughter comes before the father of a newborn son; Daas Torah on M”A ibid

[35] Machatzis Hashekel 282 on M”A ibid; Tosefes Chaim on Chayeh Adam 31:22; Minchas Yitzchak 4:107; Piskeiy Teshuvos 136:10;

[36] Minchas Yitzchak 4:107; Shevach Habris 21:2; See Nitei Gavriel 70:14

[37] See Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:97; Igros Kodesh 5:123; 9:136; 13:146; Shulchan Menachem 5:153-154; Koveitz Or Yisrael Gilyon 47 p. 212; Ziv Hasheimos 1:6; Nitei Gavriel 71:3

[38] Vayeira 22:14

[39] See Igros Kodesh 5:123; Ramban Vayishlach 35:18; See Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 931:22 who discusses the question of why Levi was not mentioned by the rebbe as part of this list of exceptions, as seemingly he was named by his father and not his mother.

[40] Vayeitzei 29:32-33

[41] For example: Seth [Bereishis 4:25 writes the mother called him by the name, while Bereishis 5:3 states that the father called him by this name] Yishmael [Lech Licha 16:11 states that Hagar called them by this name while Lech Licha 16:15 states that Abraham called him by this name; See Ramban on 16:11]

[42] For example: Zerach and Peretz [Vayeishev 38:28-30; See Radak ibid; Targum Yonason ibid; Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 932:31]; Oveid [Rus 4:17]; Shmuel 2 12:24-25 [See Radak ibid]

[43] Igros Kodesh 5:123

[44] See Hadar Zekeinim and Daas Zekeinim on Bereishis 38:5

[45] See Ramban on Bereishis 38:5; Igros Kodesh 5:123 that although he negates their explanation on the verse it is possibly that he does not disagree with the concept

[46] Igros Kodesh 5:123; 8:191; See Sefer Hagilgulim Hakdama 23 and many other books of Chassidus and Kabbalah that it is the parents who name the child with divine inspiration from God; See Toras Menachem Reshimos Hayoman p. 317 that the Alter Rebbe refused to name his grandson, the son of the Tzemach Tzedek, and told him that it is the father who must name the child.

[47] Igros Kodesh 8:191

[48] Neilcha Beorchosav p. 235, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:160; Hiskashrus 356:19

[49] Hiskashrus ibid

[50] See Igros Kodesh 5:123; Shut Rivam Shteinuch 58; Shevach Habris 20:4; Nitei Gavriel 71:5

[51] Other customs: Some have the custom of having the mother choose the name for the first child and the father for the second child, with the parents taking turns for naming rights for each subsequent child [See Likkutei Mahrich Seder Millah; Nachal Kedumim Shemos 18; Mishneh Halachos 12:361; Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:101; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 8 in name of Sefarim and that so is the Ashkenazi custom] See for other customs: Bris Avos 8:35; Edus Leyisrael p. 193; Otzer Habris 6:3-1

[52] Leket Yosher 2:51; Rashbash 291; Igros Kodesh 5:123; Shevach Habris 20:4; See Ikarei Hadat Y.D. 27:7 that the custom is to name the first son after his father; Sdeh Haretz Y.D. 22; Shem Mishimon Y.D. 22; Yabia Omer 5:21 that so is custom of Sephardim; Many Sefarim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7

[53] Igros Kodesh 12:434; 13:146; 27:523; Shevach Habris 20:5; See Sefer Hatoldos Chabad Maharash p. 7 that the Tzemach Tzedek consulted with his wife regarding the name of the Rebbe Maharash on the day of the Bris

[54] Igros Kodesh 27:523; Otzer Minhagim Vehoraos Y.D. 186; Shevach Habris 20:5

[55] See Ikarei Hadaat 26:7; Rashal in Yam Shel Shlomo Gittin 4:26 that this is how the name Shneur came about, as it came to satisfy the names of two grandparents, Meir and Uri; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 1:27; Nitei Gavriel 71:7

[56] Shut Rivam Shteinuch 58; Nitei Gavriel 71:5

[57] Reishis Chochma Shaar Hakedusha 16; Yosef Ometz in end; Tziporen Shamir 186; Kaf Hachaim 116:107; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 145:1; Nitei Gavriel 63:7; Shevach Habris 20:6

[58] Igros Kodesh 6:4 and 9:136 that so was the directive of Rebbe Rayatz; Maaneh Melech p. 176; Shevach Habris 20:3 footnote 3; See Toras Menachem Reshimos Hayoman p. 317 that the Alter Rebbe refused to name his grandson, the son of the Tzemach Tzedek, and told him that it is the father who must name the child

[59] See Shelah Hakdama Bayis Achron; Tanya Shaar Hayichud Vihaemuna end of chapter 1; Likkutei Torah Behar 2; Igros Kodesh 5:123; 9:136; Shevach Habris 20:3

[60] See Sefer Hagilgulim Hakdama 23; Emek Hamelech Shaar 1:84; Or Hachaim Devarim 29:17, Vayishlach 35:10; Teshuras Shaiy 1:150; Or Torah of Maggid Bereishis 4:4; Likkutei Imrim of Maggid 244; Sefer Chassidim 244; Cheifetz Hashem Brachos 13a; Likkutei Sichos 30:134; Igros Kodesh 5:123; 6:4; 9:136

[61] Sefer Hagilgulim Hakdama 23

[62] See Kemach Soles on Hilchos Mila 64; Mishnas Eliezar Tinyana 29; Nitei Gavriel 71:9

[63] Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:33; Nitei Gavriel 72:1

[64] Bereishis Raba 37:10; Torah Temima Bereishis 32:11; Otzer Habris 5:4 footnote 2; Shevach Habris 20:6

The reason: Several reasons are mentioned behind this custom, including: 1) To document our lineage which would otherwise be difficult to document in times of exile. [Bereishis Raba ibid] 2) During times of exile is important that we remember the names of our ancestors. [Torah Temima ibid] 3) It is done as a Segula for the child to inherit the good traits of the ancestors. 4) It is done in order to commemorate the name of the ancestor and give him satisfaction above which is a benefit for his soul. [Otzer Habris ibid]

[65] Mili Dechassidusa on Sefer Chassidim 477; Sheilas Shalom Tinyana 243; Shem Mishimon Y.D. 22; Sdei Chemed Mareches Chaf Kelal 24; Maaneh of Rebbe in Shavuon Kefar Chabad Gilyon 954

[66] Maaneh of Rebbe in Shavuon Kefar Chabad Gilyon 954

[67] Nitei Gavriel 72:6 footnote 8

[68] Betzel Hachochmah 3:108

[69] Rivam Shteinbach 58; Nitei Gavriel 72:2

[70] Beir Moshe 1:60

[71] See Sheilas Shalom Tinyana 243; Sdei Chemed Mareches Chaf end of Kelal 104; Bris Avos 8:16;  Yabia Omer E.H. 7:7; Rashbash 291 in name of his grandfather the Ramban; Mahariy Asad Y.D. 247; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:33; Toras Menachem 11:70; 5743 2:760, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:160; Kuntrus Ziv Hasheimos 10; Shevach Habris 20:10; Nitei Gavriel 72:5

[72] Bris Avos 8:16; Sdei Chemed ibid; Yabia Omer 5:21; Rebbe ibid; Sefarim ibid; See Noach 11:26 that Terach named his son Nachor after his father who was alive at that time

The reason: This is considered to be a Segula for a long life for the father. [Bris Avos 8:16]

[73] Toras Menachem 5743 2:760

[74] Michaber and Rama 240:2; Rambam Mamrim 6:3; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:4

[75] Shach 240:3; Derisha 240:4 [negated by Taz ibid]; Beir Sheva Horiyos, brought in Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger; Chayeh Adam 67:8; Shut Haravaz E.H. 20; Yad Shaul 240:4; Zekan Aaron 2:60; Chakal Yitzchak 62; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:133; Taz ibid negates this opinion

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that in the same room as one’s parent, one may not call his child by the same shared name, whether the name is a common name or a rare name. [Rama 240:2 “However a common name may be called not in front of him”; Taz 240:5 and 242:4; Tur 240; Rambam Mamrim 6:3 [See Beir Hagoleh 240:11]; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:4-5; Yalkut Meiam Loez Shemos 20:12]

[76] Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:4 that according to Maran it is forbidden and hence those who accepted his opinion must be stringent.

[77] Michaber and Rama 240:2; Taz 240:5 and 242:4; Tur 240; Rambam Mamrim 6:3; See Beir Hagoleh 240:10 that the Tur 240 as well as the Kesef Mishneh on Rambam Talmud Torah 5:5 and Hilchos Mamrim ibid wondered as to the source of the Rambam for this law; See Beir Sheva end of Horiyos [14a], brought in Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger 240:2; Rashi Gittin 34b, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 240:3; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:4-5; Yalkut Meiam Loez Shemos 20:12

[78] Implication of Rama ibid; Taz ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is permitted to call a person by even an uncommon name, when he is not in the presence of the parent who shares the same name. [Derisha 240; Shach 240:3; Taz ibid negates this opinion]

[79] Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:4 that according to Maran it is forbidden and hence those who accepted his opinion must be stringent.

[80] Sefer Chassidim 408 and 460 and Makor Chesed ibid; Meishiv Devarim Y.D. 139; Darkei Teshuvah 669:1; Devar Eliyahu 37; Zekan Aaron 2:60; Yad Shaul 240:4; Mahariy Asad Y.D. 247; Bris Avos 8:16; Nitei Gavriel 72:5 footnote 7 in name of many Sefarim

The reason: Some write that this is in order to avoid the above-mentioned prohibition against calling another person by the same name as that of his father or mother. [See Poskim ibid] Others however negate this reason. [See Mahariy Asad ibid] Whatever the case, since we are particular in this, this itself brings on the danger of doing so and hence one must be careful in this. [Rebbe ibid]

[81] Igros Kodesh 3:181 discusses a case in which the child was named with the same name as his living great-grandmother, and the Rebbe is lenient for various reasons including the fact that the superficial language of the Sefer Chassidim 460 implies that the restriction only applies against naming after a living grandfather. Nonetheless, from this it is implied that initially one should not name the child after a living great-grandparent

[82] Toras Menachem 5743 2:760

[83] Toras Menachem 5743 2:760

[84] The reason: As the name of an individual is the channel through which his life and energy is drawn through and hence it is dangerous to change the name. [Toras Menachem 5743 2:760]

[85] Igros Kodesh 3:181

[86] Igros Kodesh, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:1621

The reason: The reason for this is because the added name makes the entire name be considered a new name, and it is hence not considered that one is naming the child after the parent who has only one of the names. [Igros Kodesh 12:185; Tzemach Tzedek E.H. 173; 153 end of Vol. 1]

[87] Igros Kodesh 7:286; Letter printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:1621; Shevach Habris 20:12

[88] See Shabbos 134a; Avos Derebbe Nasan 15; Zecher David 1:82; Noam Elimelech Parshas Bamidbar; Bnei Yissachar Kisleiv Mamar 4:121; Minchas Elazar 4:206; Otzer Habris 5:4-2; Nitei Gavriel 72:3; Sefer Hasichos 5703 p. 156 that the Mittler Rebbe was named after the Maggid; Sefer Hamamarim 5709 p. 90 that Reb Chaim Avraham was named after the son of the Maggid; Shevach Habris 20:6

The reason: Several reasons are mentioned behind this custom, including: 1) The name will have a positive effect on the child and influence it in a positive way. [Zecher David ibid] 2) The light of the Tzaddik that one is named after shines upon him and causes that he too be a Tzaddik [Noam Elimelech ibid; See Sefer Hamamarim 5709 p. 90 in name of Alter Rebbe] 3) It gives the child success in his Torah learning and motivates him to try to live up to his name. [Minchas Elazar ibid]

[89] Nitei Gavriel 72:7

[90] See Sefer Hamamarim 5709 p. 90 in name of Alter Rebbe

[91] Mishneh Halachos 6:252; Chemdas Tzevi 5:44; Az Nidbaru 13; Nitei Gavriel 72:4

[92] Igros Kodesh 12:215; 185; Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:214; Album Yimei Bereishis p. 100 [from a private audience that an individual had with the rebbe in 1950, in which he was told he should not have named his son Menachem Yitzchak, having in mind both the Rebbe Rayatz and the custom of calling a child who is being circumcised on Tisha b’Av by the name Menachem, as one should not mix the names together]; Shulchan Menachem 5:159-160; Hiskashrus 356:19

[93] The reason: The reason for this is because the added name makes the entire name be considered a new name, and it is hence not considered that one is naming the child after the individual who has only one of the names. [Igros Kodesh 12:185; Tzemach Tzedek E.H. 153 end of Vol. 1] Likewise, one should not mix a holy name with a mundane name. [Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:214]

[94] Hiskashrus ibid in the proper interpretation of the letter of the Rebbe Rayatz who answered an individual who had asked this exact question.

[95] Neilcha Beorchosav p. 235, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:160; Hiskashrus 356:19

[96] Hiskashrus ibid

[97] Album Yimei Bereishis p. 100, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:160 footnote 31; Kefar Chabad Gilyon 712:13; Hiskashrus 356:19 that this was done by many people under the auspices of the Rebbe; Shevach Habris 20:7

[98] Chosem Kodesh 12; Shevach Habris 20:8; Nitei Gavriel 72:3 footnote 4

[99] Tashbeitz 3:8; Shevach Habris 20:8

[100] See Sefer Chassidim 244; Zivcheiy Tzedek 116:82; Kaf Hachaim 116:134; Afrasakta Deinya 101; All Poskim in next Halacha and footnote; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:1; Shevach Habris 20:12; Nitei Gavriel 72:9

[101] Nitei Gavriel 72:8

[102] Rashal in Yam Shel Shlomo Gittin 4:31 Os Yud Yeshaya; Beis Shmuel E.H. 129 Shemos Anashim Os Hei Hevel, and Os Yud Yeshayah; Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:25; Pischeiy Teshuvah 116:10; Bris Avos 8:31 and 36; Chosen Moshe 12:12; Sheilas Yitzchak 163; Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:122; Pesakim Uteshuvos 265 footnote 91; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:2-3

[103] Nitei Gavriel 72:14 footnote 21 in name of Gedolim

[104] Rashal ibid; Beis Shmuel ibid; Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:122; Zocher Habris 24:9; Shevach Habris 20:14; Nitei Gavriel 72:10

[105] Hearos Radal in Aliyos Eliyahu footnote 51; Halichos Shlomo Hilchos Mila in name of Rav SZ”A

[106] Rashal ibid; Beis Shmuel ibid; Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:25 that for this reason we write the name Akiva with a Hei and not with an Alef, being that the Rebbe Akiva had his skin removed with combs of iron; Otzer Habris 6:8; Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:122; Shevach Habris 20:14; Nitei Gavriel 72:13

[107] Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:122; Shevach Habris 20:13

[108] The reason: As only when one is murdered is this a sign that he has a bad Mazal, in contrast to one who dies a natural death which is simply a sign that his set amount of years of this world have come to an end. [Igros Moshe ibid]

[109] Halichos Shlomo Hilchos Mila in name of Rav SZ”A; Maaneh of Rebbe in Shavuon Kefar Chabad Gilyon 954, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:157, regarding grandparent; Igros Kodesh 12:434; Nitei Gavriel 72:11

[110] Sheilas Yitzchak 163-164; Machaneh Chaim E.H. 3:60;  Igros Kodesh, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:158 and Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag  p. 243; Igros Kodesh 12:434; Shevach Habris 20:12 and 14; Nitei Gavriel 72:11 See regarding the Maalah of dying Al Kiddush Hashem: Tashbeitz 3:14 in name of Rivash, brought in Tzemach Tzedek E.H. 1:27-4, that by such cases we allow a woman to remarry, even if it happened to two of her husbands, as it is not her bad luck that caused her husband to die, but rather the merit of her husbands that caused them to be killed for the sanctity of God’s name.

[111] See Pesachim 110b

[112] Gilyon Kfar Chabad 712 p.13, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:158

[113] Beis Yitzchak Y.D. 2:173; Minchas Pitim 116:5; Mishmeres Shalom 116:16; Imreiy Yaakov Likkutim 10:8; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:5- 6; See Nitei Gavriel 72:10

[114] Tradition in name of Gr”a, brought in Poskim ibid; See Mili Dechassidusa; Tzitz Eliezer 11:56; Maaneh of Rebbe given in 1948, printed in Koveitz Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 922:166; Nitei Gavriel 72:10 footnote 14 in name of Poskim

[115] Neta Shoreik Y.D. 50

[116] Minchas Elazar 4:27; See Tzitz Eliezer 11:56

[117] Maaneh of Rebbe given in 1948, printed in Koveitz Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 922:166, printed in Shulchan Menachem Vol. 5 p. 157 footnote 23

[118] Divrei Yatziv Y.D. 162

[119] Teshuras Shaiy 1:5; Minchas Elazar 4:27

[120] Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 155 footnote 1 in length

[121] Tzavah Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 51; Chochmas Hanefesh [Rokeiach] p. 22

[122] Shiyurei Kneses Hagedola Y.D. 265:7; Igros Kodesh 14:399, printed in Shulchan Menachem 4 p. 30

[123] Shem Aryeh Y.D. 27 that the Maharsha was a descendent of his and nonetheless his name was Shmuel and his father’s name was Judah, contrary to the warning of Rav Yehuda Hachassid; Igros Kodesh 14:399, printed in Shulchan Menachem 4 p. 30

[124] Igros Kodesh 9:262, printed in Shulchan Menachem 4 p. 30

[125] Minchas Yitzchak 9:137

[126] Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:9 footnote 11-13 in length

[127] Sefer Chassidim 460

[128] Bris Avos 8:14; Sdei Chemed

[129] Bris Olam 460

[130] Pesakim Uteshuvos 265 footnote 91; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:8

[131] Teshuras Shaiy 1:5; Mishneh Halachos 4:152

[132] Minchas Elazar 4:27

[133] Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:5

[134] Adnei Paz 25; 34; Pischeiy Teshuvah 116:6

[135] Shut Haramatz Y.D. 87; Beis Yitzchak Y.D. 163

[136] Panim Meiros 2:89; Shoel Umeishiv 3:85; Divrei Malkiel; Mili Deavos E.H. 4:5; Bris Avos; Shem Mishimon Y.D. 23; Mili Dechassidusa; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:7

[137] Mili Deavos ibid

[138] Choshem Bakodesh; Shut Hamaor; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 154:7 footnote 9

[139] Toras Menachem 5747 3:257 that so is the Jewish custom; Sefer Hasichos 5750:296; Shevach Habris 20:15; Shulchan Menachem

[140] See Igros Kodesh 8:191; Shevach Habris 20:16

[141] Maharam Brisk 2:7; Adnei Paz 112; Shevach Habris 20:17