This article is an excerpt from our Sefer

Chapter 8: Funeral & Burial[1]

Funeral and burial checklist *The full details on each of the below mentioned subjects is elaborated on in this chapter   To bring to the funeral-Mourners: Attire: The upper clothing of male and female mourners is torn by the funeral. The undershirt, however, is not torn. Hence, one is to make sure to wear an undershirt, and wear cheap clothing on top of it which one does not mind being torn. If one wears a jacket during the week, then one is to also wear a jacket which one does not mind being torn. Shoes: One is to bring with him non-leather shoes to wear after the burial. Regular shoes are worn until the burial is over. Bring a Tzedaka box for people to give charity in merit of the deceased. The memorial service [prior to the procession of the body to the grave]: A memorial service is generally held before the burial at the funeral home chapel, or at the gravesite. This allows the family and community members to recite Psalms and to speak of the good qualities of the deceased. The order of the memorial service is as follows:[2] Where: The family and the community gather for the funeral service either in the funeral home, synagogue, or at the cemetery. The Casket: The casket is present during the service but remains closed. No food or music: The Jewish custom is not to serve fancy foods, nor have flowers or music at the funeral. Those items are associated with festivity and joy, and this is a solemn occasion. Tehillim: The rabbi begins the service by reciting Psalm 16 and 90. Keriah-Dayan Haemes: The recital of psalms is then followed by Keriah of the garments of the mourners and the recital of the blessing Baruch Dayan Haemes. [See Chapter 6 for the full details on this topic.]  “ברוך אתה ה’ אלוקינו מלך העולם דיין האמת”. Forgiveness: Following the performance of the Keriah, it is customary for family members to forgive and request forgiveness from the deceased. Eulogies: At this point, remarks may be delivered. [See Chapter 7 for the full details on the giving of eulogies.] Keil Malei Rachamim: After the eulogies, some close the gathering with the traditional memorial prayer of “Keil Malei Rachamim.“ The descendants of the deceased: The descendants [both male and female, daughters and granddaughters, sons and grandsons of the deceased] may attend the eulogies, and may be present by the funeral service until the casket begins to move. Directly prior to the moving of the casket, the descendants are to exit the funeral and proceed to the cemetery in a different path than the path that will be followed by the funeral proceeding. It is customary that direct descendants of the deceased do not touch or carry the casket. The Levaya/funeral procession: At the conclusion of the memorial service, the pallbearers carry [or drive] the casket and officially begin the funeral procession. They proceed with carrying [or driving] the casket until they reach the grave. Psalm 91: During the procession, Psalm 91 is recited seven times. Beginning from a short distance from the grave (approximately thirty feet), it is customary to halt the procession every few feet [4 Amos] and repeat the Psalm, pausing at certain words in the final verse and reciting again from the top. This is done for a total of seven times. One is to add one word to the sentence beginning with Ki Malachav each time he recites it. On days when Tachanun is not recited, the stops are not made, but the Psalm is still recited seven times. Likewise, when burying a woman, some are not accustomed to do the Mamados, although the Psalm is still recited seven times. Women: The women are to remain separate from the men throughout the funeral proceedings. Not to look at the women: Throughout the proceedings of the funeral and burial it is forbidden to look at the faces of the women attending the funeral/burial. This applies while the women are at the funeral and when the women return from the funeral or burial. For this reason, the men may not stand in front of the women when they return from the funeral, and they are not to greet them face to face. Rather, the men are to follow either in back of the women or in front of the women. Upon returning from the funeral, the men are to exit through a different route in order not to greet the women. The Burial: Forgiveness: Before the casket is lowered into the grave, it is fitting to part with the deceased and, if one has not done so earlier at the memorial service, ask for forgiveness (and to forgive) for any pain or hard feelings that might have come between them. Resting the coffin in the grave: The casket [or wrapped body in Eretz Yisrael] is laid in the grave by the Chevra Kadisha. While this is being done, psalm 91 is to be recited. Filling the grave: The grave is then covered with earth and/or gravel. All the men present fill the grave with earth, beginning by covering the upper part of the casket. The men can take turns, but the shovel is not to be passed directly from one person to the next. Instead, it is placed face down on the ground, and the next person takes it. The grave is filled until a small mound is formed on top. As one fills the grave with earth, he is to recite the following verse three times: Vehu Rachum Yichaber Avon Vlo Yashchis Vihirba Lihashiv Apo Velo Yair Kol Chamaso. Once the grave is completely filled with earth and the shape of a small mound is made on top, a marker is placed on the grave with the name of the deceased and the date of the passing. Tziduk Hadin and Kaddish: The filling of the grave is followed by the recitation of “Tziduk Hadin,” and the Mourner’s Kaddish. The male mourners recite the specially formulated Kaddish. It is recited in unison at the foot of the grave, facing East. The Graveside Kaddish is not recited on days when Tachanun is not recited and on days that “Tziduk Hadin” was omitted. Instead, one recites the regular Mourner’s Kaddish. After the burial: Charity: One is to donate to charity after the burial, in memory of the deceased. Switching shoes: After the burial, the mourning relatives [both men and women] remove their leather shoes and replace them with non-leather footwear [i.e. slippers or sneakers]. On Chol Hamoed, one does not remove his leather shoes. The rows for comforting: After the Mourner’s Kaddish is recited, all the Jewish men present form two rows, with at least five people in each row. The male mourners walk in the pathway between the two rows, and the people console them with the passage of “Hamakom Yinachem Eschem Besoch Shaar Avalei Tziyon Viyerushalayim.” After the male mourner’s pass, all the men forming the rows move to one side, forming a single row. The women mourners then pass in front of them, receiving the same condolence. The men are to be very careful not to look at the face of the women. However, some write that this should not be done, and women mourners are not to pass before the men for comforting. Leaving the cemetery: After the burial, when leaving the cemetery, one uproots earth and grass, and tosses it behind his back. [This is done three times. While doing so one recites the verse “Zechor Ki Afar Anachnu”.] This is not to be done on Chol Hamoed. One is to try to leave the cemetery in a different path than the path he used to enter. Washing hands: One washes his hands three times alternating between hands just like by washing after sleep in the morning. One is not to enter a house until after the washing. Some have the custom to say the verse “Kaper Liamcha Yisrael” after washing. Putting down the vessel: One does not take the vessel from another person’s hand or hand the vessel to another person. Rather one places it down and the next person takes it. The custom is to place the vessel upside down. Drying hands: One does not dry his hands with a towel and rather lets them dry on its own. Washing face: After the burial, one is to also wash his face. Some recite the verse “Bala Hamaves Lanetzach, Umacha Hashem Elokim Dima Meial Kol Panim Vicherpas Amo Yasir Meial Kol Haaretz Ki Hashem Diber”. Sitting and reciting Yosheiv Biseiser: After the washing, one sits down and recites Vayehi Noam and Yosheiv Biseiser seven times. One is to switch places between each time he recites it. [One is to add one word to the last sentence each time he recites it. Thus, the first time he recites it he ends with the word “Ki”. The second time he ends with the word “Ki Malachav”. The third time he ends with the word “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh”. The fourth time he ends with the words “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh Lach”. The fifth time he ends with the words “Lishmorcha”. The sixth time “Lishmorcha Bechol”. The seventh and final time he concludes with “Lishmorcha Bechol Derachecha”.

 

For the general Mitzvah of burying the dead, how soon after death the funeral and burial should take place, and laws relating to the cemetery and burial spot-See Chapter 4!

 

1. Participating in a funeral:[3]

 A. The law:

It is a [Rabbinical[4]] obligation upon one who sees[5] a funeral procession to participate in the funeral.[6] One who sees a funeral procession and does not participate in escorting the deceased, transgresses the prohibition of “Loeg Lerash/Mocking the dead,” and is liable for excommunication.[7] [This obligation applies even if the burial will not take place at this time, such as the deceased is being buried in another city or country.[8]]

How long must one escort the deceased? One is at the very least to escort the deceased for the distance of four Amos.[9] [Ideally, however, one is to escort the deceased until the cemetery.[10] One is to remain there until after the burial.[11] However, the custom is not to be particular to do so and rather to escort the deceased for four Amos.[12] If the deceased will not have a Minyan or enough helpers, then he must escort him until the cemetery.[13] Those who only escort four Amos, the custom is not to leave the area until the deceased is out of site.[14]]

Minimal number of participants:[15] Although from the letter of the law, there is no minimal number of participants required for a funeral, and whoever sees the procession is obligated to participate, while whoever does not see it is not required to participate, the custom of Jewry is to make sure that at least a Minyan of ten Jewish males over the age of thirteen are present at the funeral and burial.

Levayah of a woman: The above law and obligation to participate in a funeral procession being witnessed, applies whether the deceased is a man or a woman, and all the details of a funeral apply equally to women.[16] However, some Poskim[17] rule that the Mara Deasra, and Rabbinical leader of a city, is not to escort a woman by her funeral, due to it being a belittlement of his honor. Other Poskim[18], however, negate this opinion, and rule that even a Rabbinical leader is to attend the funeral of a woman, upon witnessing its procession.

Funeral of an infant: There is no obligation to participate in the funeral of a Nefel [i.e. still born, or baby who died within thirty days].[19] Nevertheless, some Poskim[20] rule that a child who passed away within 30 days of birth, is to have at least three people escort him to the burial. The custom however is for the infant to be brought to the burial alone, only in the presence of the Chevra Kadisha.[21] Funeral of a gentile:[22] One is obligated to escort a gentile by his funeral for a distance of at least four Amos, for the sake of peace. Likewise, a gentile who was one of the Chassidei Umos Haolam must be escorted, as they too have a portion in the world to come. [Nevertheless, it is forbidden to enter a church or other place of worship to participate in the memorial or funeral ceremony.[23] Likewise, one is not to pass in front of the body of the deceased, as is the custom of gentiles. Likewise, one is not to enter the cemetery if it contains crosses.[24]] Funeral of an enemy:[25] One may participate in the funeral of his enemy and escort him. [Nevertheless, he should not carry the coffin.[26]] Funeral of ex-husband or wife:[27] One may participate in the funeral of his/her ex-spouse. This applies even if he or she has remarried. Must one escort the deceased whenever he is seen being moved from one area to another, or only by the funeral procession?[28] One is only required to escort the deceased by the official funeral procession taking place for the deceased, and not when moving the deceased outside of the funeral procession. One who is in a car and sees a funeral:[29] One who is in a car and sees a funeral, is to initially step out of his car and escort the deceased for at least four Amos. If he is unable to get out of his car at this time, then he should remain parked until the funeral passes from in front of him. Asking forgiveness if one could not attend the funeral:[30] If one could not attend the funeral for whatever reason, he is to ask for forgiveness from the deceased and say Tehillim or give charity in his merit during the time of the burial. [If one is inside his house and cannot exit while the funeral is in procession, then he is at the very least to look outside a window that faces the procession until it passes from before him.[31]]

 B. One who is in the midst of learning Torah:[32]

One [is obligated[33] to] nullify Torah study for the sake of participating in a funeral procession [if one sees the funeral taking place[34]]. This however depends on the stature of the deceased and amount of people already participating in the funeral. The rule is as follows:

Torah scholar who has students: All people [who see the funeral taking place[35]], even those in the midst of learning Torah, are required to participate in the funeral of a Torah scholar who taught others Torah, irrelevant of how many people are present.

Learned Jew but no students: If the deceased was a learned individual[36], but did not have students and teach others, then even one who is learning must participate in the funeral if there aren’t 600,000 people present [and he sees the funeral taking place[37]].[38]

Ignoramus: If the deceased was not learned, it suffices for there to be ten people by the funeral/burial[39], and all others are not required to nullify their Torah learning in order to attend [even if they see the funeral taking place[40]].[41] In general, one can assume that a deceased has enough participants by his funeral/burial and one is not required to verify this.[42] Some Poskim[43] however rule that in today’s times, all people are considered somewhat learned, and hence one is to nullify his Torah learning to participate in a funeral of even a random Jew.[44] A Rav however is not to stop from teaching his students to participate in the funeral of a random Jew who has enough participants.[45]

Women: Regarding the funeral of a woman, some Poskim[46] rule she has the same status as a learned Jew regarding the obligation to participate, while other Poskim[47] rule she has the status of an unlearned Jew. Practically, the custom by the funeral of a woman is to be lenient and not to nullify Torah study to participate in the funeral [even if one sees the funeral taking place[48]].

Children: There is no obligation to nullify Torah study to participate in the funeral of a child [even if one sees the funeral taking place[49]].[50] Children [and their teacher[51]] who are learning are not to nullify their learning in order to participate in a funeral at all [irrelevant of stature of the deceased].[52] [Nonetheless, many are customary to have children attend the funeral of a very great Sage who passed away.[53]]

Participating in funeral preparations and burial: All the above is in regards to participating in the funeral procession, however regarding helping with funeral preparations and/or burial, one is not to nullify his learning to participate [irrelevant of the stature of the deceased, unless one knows that there is no one dealing with the arrangements].[54] One who is learning Torah is not required to stop his learning to verify regarding any deceased that there are people dealing with the funeral arrangements and burial.[55] This applies even in cities that do not contain a Chevra Kadisha that deal with the needs of the deceased.[56]

Standing during funeral:[57] Even in those circumstances that one is not obligated to escort the deceased, one is nevertheless required to stand in his presence.[58] [If the deceased was a scholar, then one is required to stand in his presence in his own right.[59] Even if the deceased was not a scholar, one is obligated to stand due to the people escorting him who are fulfilling the Mitzvah of Gemilus Chassadim.[60] The custom in Bagdad was that whenever a funeral procession was passing a home, the people in the home would all stand up until the entire procession passed.[61]]

 C. One who is in the midst of working:[62]

All those who are not learning Torah are obligated to participate in a funeral procession that they see, irrelevant of the stature of the deceased, or the amount of people already present.[63] This applies even to people in middle of work, they must nevertheless stop their work and join the funeral in all cases.

Participating in funeral preparations and burial:[64] The above only applies in regard to attending the funeral procession, however regarding funeral preparation and burial, they are not required to participate so long as the city contains a Chevra Kadisha’s that deal with the needs of the deceased. If, however, no such society exists in one’s city, then all those who are not learning Torah must stop their work and deal with the funeral and burial of the deceased.

May stores remain open? Based on the above, stores may remain open after a person in the city has passed away, and while a funeral takes place, so long as there is a Chevra Kadisha in the city which deals with the funeral and burial. [If there is no Chevra Kadisha, then everyone in the town must close their stores and deal with the funeral and burial arrangements.] Nevertheless, if a worker or storeowner sees a funeral procession taking place, then he must join as stated above. [Despite the above, some cities have a Takana that all stores remain closed when a deceased is within the city, until after the burial.[65] This is commonly followed today when a Gadol Biyisrael passes away, that the stores remain closed until after the funeral and burial.[66]]

Summary A-C: One who sees a funeral procession taking place is obligated to stop whatever he is doing and participate in the funeral, whether the deceased is a man, woman or child, scholar or ignoramus. One is at the very least to escort the deceased for the distance of four Amos. If the deceased will not have a Minyan, or enough helpers, then he must escort him until the cemetery. One who sees a funeral procession and does not participate in escorting the deceased, transgresses the prohibition of “Loeg Lerash/Mocking the dead”, and is liable for excommunication. One who is in the midst of Torah study: The above obligation to attend a funeral procession which one sees taking place applies even if one is in the midst of Torah study, unless there are already 600,00 people present and the deceased did not teach students Torah. If the deceased is a woman or child, one is not required to nullify his Torah learning for the sake of attending the funeral procession even if he sees it taking place. Nevertheless, he is stand up in their honor, so long as the procession can be seen. Children are not to nullify their Torah learning to participate in a funeral.   Q&A Is the obligation to participate in a funeral only if one sees the funeral procession taking place or even if one simply knows about its occurrence?[67] The obligation to stop working/learning and participate in a funeral procession only applies when one sees the body of the deceased [or funeral procession taking place[68]]. If, however one does not see the deceased/funeral, but simply knows the time and place of its occurrence, he is not obligated to stop learning or work in order to attend the funeral.

May a Chasan and Kallah during the days of Sheva Brachos participate in a funeral/burial? Funeral: A Chasan/Kallah may attend a funeral during Sheva Brachos.  Burial: Some Poskim rule a Chasan/Kallah may attend the burial of a relative during Sheva Brachos. However, other Poskim rule that they should avoid attending the burial during Sheva Brachos. See Chapter 13 Halacha 10C for the full details of this matter!

 D. What takes precedence, attending a funeral or wedding or Milah?^[69]

A wedding takes precedence over a funeral, and hence if both cannot take place at the same time, such as in a small town, one first performs the wedding and then the funeral.[70] However, participating in Nichum Aveilim takes precedence over Simchas Chasan Vikallah, if he is able to do both. If, however, he can only do one or the other, then Simchas Chasan Vikallah takes precedence.

Milah: The Mitzvah of Milah takes precedence over a funeral.

Meis Mitzvah: The burial of a Meis Mitzvah takes precedence over any other Mitzvah.

E. Are women to attend a Levaya/funeral?

Attending the funeral:[71] Women are permitted and obligated to attend funerals just like men.[72] Some communities are accustomed for women to attend and walk ahead of the casket. Others are accustomed for the women to attend and walk behind the casket. Now, the custom is for women to follow from behind the casket, and one is not to swerve from this custom.[73] [However, in some communities it is accustomed for women not to attend funerals at all.[74] This is the custom in Jerusalem[75], and Tzefat.[76] This is based on the ruling of the Zohar.[77] The Chabad custom is to allow women to attend a funeral, and one is not to be stringent in this matter.[78] The women, however, are to remain stationary and are not to follow the casket as it begins to move.[79] The women are to remain separated from the men throughout the funeral proceedings.[80]]

Attending the burial:[81] Women are not to attend the burial that proceeds after the Levaya[82], and if they desire to do so they are to be persuaded not to attend.[83] [This is based on the ruling of the Zohar.[84] However, some learn that even according to the Zohar, women may attend the burial so long as they stay behind the men, and the danger is only when the men turn around.[85] Practically, the Chabad custom is to allow women to attend the burial, and they may enter into the cemetery where the burial will take place.[86] The women are to remain separate from the men throughout the funeral proceedings.[87]]

Not to look at women during or after the Levaya: See Halacha 4!

Q&A May a pregnant woman attend a Levaya?[88] From the letter of the law, it is permitted for a pregnant woman to enter a cemetery and attend a Levaya.[89] However, many women are accustomed not to visit a cemetery or attend a Levaya when they are pregnant.[90] Those who have received such a custom are to abide by it.[91] Many women are lenient in all cases, as is the letter of the law.[92] This especially applies if they will be a distance of four Amos from the deceased, and will not be under the same roof. The wife of a Kohen: See Chapter 31 Halacha 7C!   May a woman who is a Nidda attend a Levaya? She may attend the funeral although is to avoid entering the cemetery or attending the burial, as explained in Chapter 31 Halacha 5D.

F. May the descendants of the deceased attend the Levayah/burial?[93]

From the letter of the law it is permitted, and a Mitzvah, for the children to attend the funeral and escort the body of their parent[94], and so is the custom of several communities.[95] Nevertheless, many communities are accustomed for the descendants of the deceased not to attend the Levaya[96], and they rather proceed straight to the cemetery for the burial.[97] This is also the Chabad custom.[98] [In Eretz Yisrael, and especially Jerusalem, the custom is for the descendants not to attend neither the funeral or the burial, and they therefore say Kaddish before the body leaves the funeral home, and a Cherem is announced prior to the body leaving the funeral home that no descendants shall escort him.[99] However the descendants may attend the eulogies, and may be present by the Levaya until the casket begins to move. In those communities that the descendants do not attend the funeral but attend the burial [i.e. Chabad], then directly prior to the moving of the casket, the descendants are to exit the funeral and proceed to the cemetery in a different path than the path that will be followed by the funeral proceeding.[100] The descendants are to wait a short distance from the grave, away from the other attendees, and only approach it after the burial is complete, to say Kaddish.[101] While the descendants of the deceased are to respect the community custom in regards to not attending the funeral, there is no need to cause a dispute over this matter if they are adamant to attend.[102]]

Which descendants avoid attendance:[103] The above adherence of not to attend the Levaya applies to both male and female descendants and applies to both children and grandchildren. [It, however, does not apply to son in laws and daughter in laws, and they may attend the funeral and burial.[104] However, some are stringent even with the son/daughter in laws.[105]]

Towards which ancestors does the above apply [male versus female]: According to Chabad custom, the above adherence to not attend the Levaya applies whether the deceased is a male [father/grandfather] or a female [mother/grandmother].[106] However, others are accustomed to allow the descendants to attend the funeral of a mother or grandmother, and the above adherence only applies towards male parents/grandparents.^[107]

At the Levaya/burial, may the descendants carry or touch the coffin?[108] [From the letter of the law] the children and relatives are to carry the deceased on their shoulders up until the grave. [However, as explained above, the custom of many is for the children not to carry the parent, and they don’t deal with him at all.[109] Nevertheless, those who continue to do so have upon whom to rely.[110]]

Summary: The Chabad custom, as well as the custom of other communities, is for the descendants [sons, daughters and grandchildren] not to attend the funeral, and they thus leave the memorial home prior to the start of the funeral and wait for the burial by the cemetery, traveling to the cemetery in a different route than the procession. The descendants are to wait a short distance from the grave, away from the other attendees, and only approach it after the burial is complete, to say Kaddish. Some do not even attend the burial, while others attend even the funeral. Practically, each community is to follow their custom.   Q&A May the son in laws and daughter in-laws of the deceased attend the funeral as usual?[111] Yes. The son in laws and daughter in-laws of the deceased may attend the funeral as usual.

G.  Funeral of firstborn, or oldest, son:

Some Poskim[112] rule one is not to mourn after the passing of the first son, or the oldest son that dies to a parent. Now, although this is a mistaken custom, and a parent is obligated to mourn them[113], nevertheless, due to this, the custom in the Ashkenazi cities became that the father and mother do not attend the funeral of their first son.[114]

H. Escorting a casket under transfer:[115]

When a casket of a Jew is being moved from one area to another, then if his skeletal form[116] is still intact, it is an obligation to escort him just as is done by a regular funeral. [This however seemingly only applies by an official funeral procession taking place for the deceased, and not when moving the deceased outside of the funeral procession.[117] When a deceased is being taken to Eretz Yisrael for burial, many are accustomed to make two funerals, one in the Diaspora prior to leaving and the second in Eretz Yisrael, prior to burial. If the plane will be leaving on Motzei Shabbos without enough time for a funeral to take place, the custom is to make a funeral on Erev Shabbos. The deceased is taken outside the building and eulogies, as well as Tehillim, is recited. There is no need to move with the deceased down the block and then return him to the building.[118]]

 2. Publicizing the funeral-When and where:

It is permitted, and encouraged, to publicize the death of the deceased in order for people to come and pay their final respects by the funeral. See Chapter 2 Halacha 6!

When during the day or night should the funeral take place?[119] A burial taking place in the morning is to be delayed until it is estimated that majority of the congregation has already finished Davening Shacharis. Likewise, an early night funeral is to be delayed until it is estimated that majority of the congregation has already finished Davening Maariv. However, some are lenient regarding Maariv, being that in any event it can be Davened throughout the night [and if one delays the burial past sunset, he transgresses the positive command of burial, and if he delays until morning he transgresses the negative command against delaying burial[120]]. Practically, we rule like the latter opinion.[121]

Where should the memorial service take place: The memorial and funeral service may take place at the funeral home, in a synagogue, or at the cemetery.

3. Having dual funerals simultaneously:[122]

One is to have a separate funeral for each deceased person and is not to do a single funeral for two bodies. [It is, however, customary to hold a funeral for murder victims simultaneously.[123]] A community or funeral home which is charged with doing two funerals, is to precede the funeral of whoever died first.[124] [Even so] a female is preceded over a male [even if the male died first[125]].[126] If the first deceased is not ready for burial [such as due to delay Likavod Hameis[127]], then the second body may be preceded.

 4. Laws applicable during a funeral and burial:

 A. How to escort:

For how long must one escort the deceased? One is at the very least to escort the deceased for the distance of four Amos.[128] [Ideally, however, one is to escort the deceased until the cemetery.[129] One is to remain there until after the burial.[130] However, the custom is not to be particular to do so and rather to escort the deceased for four Amos.[131] If the deceased will not have a Minyan or enough helpers, then he must escort him until the cemetery.[132] Those who only escort four Amos, the custom is for them not to leave the area until the deceased is out of site.[133]]

Escorting from behind:[134] One is to escort the deceased from behind the deceased and not from in front of him.

Not to touch the body or casket:[135] A Baal Keri or Nida is not to touch the body or casket throughout the funeral and burial, [once the Taharah is performed].

What to say:[136] While escorting the deceased, the participants are to recite Psalm 91 “Yosheiv Beseiser.” The Psalm is repeated until the deceased arrives at the cemetery. [One may also recite other verses of Tehillim[137] and so is the custom in Eretz Yisrael.[138]]

Standing during a funeral:[139] Even in those circumstances that one is not obligated to escort the deceased one is nevertheless required to stand in his presence.[140] [If the deceased was a scholar, then one is required to stand in his presence in his own right.[141] Even if the deceased was not a scholar, one is obligated to stand due to the people escorting him who are fulfilling the Mitzvah of Gemilus Chassadim.[142] The custom in Bagdad was that whenever a funeral procession was passing a home, the people in the home would all stand up until the entire procession passed.[143]]

B. Restrictions on speech, learning Torah and doing Mitzvos:

Conversation: It is only permitted to speak in the presence of the deceased of matters relating to the funeral/burial, or his eulogy.^[144] It is however forbidden to talk of mundane matters within four cubits of the deceased [if he is outside, or within the same room if he is inside^[145]].^[146] [Throughout the funeral, one is not to speak mundane speech even if one is a distance of four Amos from the deceased.^[147]] Those eulogizers who intend to impress the crowd with their oratory skills, are certainly not doing the proper thing. Many Gedolim were particular on this matter.^[148]

Greetings/Shalom Aleichem:^[149] In a small town, the townspeople may not greet each other [i.e. Shoalim Shalom] so long as the deceased is in the city.^[150] [In a large town, however, it permitted to greet others, if the person who died was not famous and his death is not felt throughout the city.^[151]] It goes without saying that one may not greet others in the cemetery during the burial proceedings [or during the funeral^[152]].^[153] This applies even in a large city.^[154] [Today, however, many are lenient in this matter and permit to greet others.^[155] Others argue against this custom.^[156] One who chooses to be lenient, may only be lenient regarding saying good morning and other greetings of the like, however not regarding the words “Shalom Aleichem.”^[157]]

Learning Torah: It is forbidden to speak Torah in the presence of the deceased.^[158] This prohibition applies even past four cubits of the deceased.^[159] It is however permitted to speak words of Torah in relation to the deceased, and in respect of the deceased, even within his four cubits.^[160] [One may thus learn Mishnayos in his honor and so is the custom.^[161]]

Kerias Shema and other Mitzvos:^[162] Those participating in the funeral procession, remain obligated in reciting Kerias Shema [and all Mitzvos] unless they are helping with transporting the body, in which case they are exempt from Shema and all Mitzvos during that time.^[163] Thus, the Chevra Kadisha, and all those taking turns to hold the body, are exempt from Shema.^[164]

Davening:^[165] Those participating in the funeral procession are exempt from Davening Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv, during the time of the funeral.

Wearing Tzitzis:^[166] One may not wear revealed Tzitzis when he is within four Amos [192 cm] of the deceased, just as is the law by a cemetery, and he is thus required to cover his Tzitzis.

C. The pallbearers are not to wear shoes:^[167]

In those communities in which there are set people who carry the deceased, they are prohibited from wearing sandals, lest the sandal tear and cause a delay. [Some Poskim^[168] understand this prohibition to refer specifically to sandals, being that they have higher chances of tearing. However, shoes which are well fitted onto the foot, may be worn. Other Poskim^[169], however, understand this prohibition to include all forms of shoes, and hence the pallbearers must walk barefoot. Practically, today that everyone joins in carrying the body, everyone may wear sandals or shoes.^[170] However, in those communities, or by those funerals, who only allow a select number of people to be involved in carrying the body, then those people must remove their shoes beforehand, and those who do not do so are doing an improper act.^[171] If, however, they allow others to takeover if one of the pallbearers gets delayed, then it is permitted for them to wear shoes, and so is the custom.^[172] Likewise, if the funeral contains a very short walking procession, and there are many designated pallbearers, it is permitted to go with shoes.^[173]]

D. Eating bread-Having a set meal on the day of the funeral:^[174]

 [On the day of burial^[175]] it is forbidden for [the relatives and people of the city^[176]] to eat a set meal until after the burial takes place [unless there are people who have taken charge of the burial, such as the Chevra Kadisha^[177]].^[178] [Nevertheless, those relatives who are coordinating the funeral/burial together with the Chevra Kadisha, are not to eat a set meal on that day. It goes without saying that the Chevra Kadisha cannot eat a set meal until after the burial.^[179] Those participating in the funeral are permitted to eat prior to the funeral or burial so long as the Chevra Kadisha has taken charge.^[180]]

E. Stepping on graves during the funeral/burial:^[181]

Although it is forbidden to step on a grave^[182], it is permitted for those carrying the body of the deceased for burial to step on other graves if necessary.^[183] This may be done even if there is another route available, if stepping over the graves is a shorter route to the burial spot.^[184] The same applies regarding anyone attending the funeral, that if necessary, he may step on a grave while walking.^[185] [However, one may not sit on the grave.^[186] Likewise, one may not remain standing on it.^[187]]

F. Separation of men and women-Not to look at women during, or after, the Levaya:^[188]

Throughout the proceedings of the funeral and burial it is forbidden to look at the faces of the women attending the funeral/burial.^[189] This applies while the women are at the funeral and when the women return from the funeral or burial.^[190] [However, those women who did not attend the funeral do not need to be abstained from.^[191] Some Poskim^[192] rule that the above adherence is only necessary if the person was killed by the Malach Hamaves, such as due to natural causes. If, however, he is a murder victim, then the Malach Hamaves does not attend the funeral, and there is no need to avoid seeing the women.]

Separation of men and women through the funeral proceedings: For the above reason, the men may not stand in front of the women when they return from the funeral, and they are not to greet them face to face. Rather, the men are to follow either in back of them or in front of them. Upon returning from the funeral or burial^[193], the men are to exit through a different route in order not to greet the women. [In some communities the custom is for the men to leave prior to the women, and for the women to delay and stay by the grave until 15 minutes pass from after the men left.^[194] Others are accustomed to do the contrary and have the women leave before the men.]

What to do in case one sees a woman: In the event that one comes face to face with the women, he is to skip four Amos [6 feet] from his current position, and if there is a river present, he is to cross it. Alternatively, if there is another route, he is to take that route. If there is a wall he is to stand behind the wall until the women pass. If this too is not possible, then one is to turn his face away from the women and say the verse “Vayomer Hashem El HaSatan Yigar Hashem Becha etc” until all the women pass. (If, however, there are less than seven women present, there is no need to worry so much of this matter.^[195])

5. The funeral procession:^[196]

A. The Memorial service and eulogies:[197]

Where: The family and the community gather for the funeral service either in the funeral home, synagogue, or at the cemetery.

What mourners should bring with them: Due to the performance of Keriah, the mourners are to make sure to wear an undershirt, and wear cheap clothing on top of it which they not mind being torn. If one wears a jacket during the week, then one is to wear a jacket which they do not mind receiving a tear. One is to bring with him non-leather shoes to wear after the burial. Regular shoes are worn until the burial is over. One is to bring a Tzedaka box for people to give charity in merit of the deceased.

Music, flowers and food: It is not the Jewish custom to play music during a funeral or memorial service. Likewise, we do not decorate the room, or coffin, with flowers. Food is not served by the memorial service or anytime during the funeral.

Opening the casket:^[198] It is forbidden to open the casket and have people pass in front of it, as is done by the gentiles.

Keriah and Dayan Haemes: The Keriah to the garments of the mourners, and recital of the blessing of Dayan Haemes, is performed during the memorial service, prior to the funeral procession, and the body being removed from the home.[199] See Chapter 6 for the full details of this matter! Many are accustomed to do so after the recital of Tehillim, brought next.

Tehillim: Customarily, the Rabbi, or Chevra Kadisha, begins the service by reciting Psalms. Many are accustomed to reciting Psalm 90 and 16.^[200] Some have the custom to recite it out loud verse-by-verse, responsively.

Eulogy: Eulogies and final remarks are given by Rabbi’s, family members and friends during the memorial service. See Chapter 7 for the full details of this matter. The Chabad custom is not to give eulogies, as explained there.

Charity:^[201] The memorial service, funeral, and time of burial, is a befitting time to give charity in memory of the deceased.

Forgiveness: Following the performance of the Keriah, it is customary for family members to forgive, and request forgiveness, from the deceased. This is done individually in front of the closed casket beginning with the men, followed by the women. Other relatives and friends may do the same following the service.

At this point remarks may be delivered.

Kaddish: See Halacha C!

B. Keil Malei Rachamim:

Some are accustomed to reciting the traditional memorial prayer of “Keil Malei Rachamim” after the eulogies, or during the funeral or burial.^[202] Others are not accustomed to say this prayer at all.^[203] The widespread Chabad custom is not to say this prayer, neither by the funeral or any other time.^[204]

Nighttime and days without Tachanun: One may recite the prayer of Keil Malei Rachamim at night.^[205] Some omit the prayer of Keil Malei Rachamim on days that Tachanun is omitted, while others recite it.^[206] Standing: It is proper for the congregation to stand upon the recital of Keil Malei Rachamim.^[207]

The name mentioned: Some mention the name of the father of the Niftar, while others mention the name of the mother of the Niftar.^[208] We do not mention any honorary titles upon saying the name of the deceased.^[209]

Amen and charity: Those who hear the prayer are to answer Amen at its conclusion, and are to donate to charity on behalf of the deceased. It is best to recite Bli Neder within the prayer upon pledging to charity.^[210]

C. Leaving the funeral/memorial home:^[211]

Following the memorial service, the casket is carried by Jewish men (pallbearers) to the hearse or grave. All the men walk behind it while reciting Psalms. Women follow at a small distance, as explained in Halacha 4F. The following are the details of the procession, as it leaves the funeral home or memorial service:

Descendants exit before procession begins: The Chabad custom, as well as the custom of other communities, is for the descendants [sons, daughters and grandchildren] not to attend the funeral, and they thus leave the memorial home prior to the start of the funeral and wait for the burial by the cemetery, traveling to the cemetery in a different route than the procession. The descendants are to wait a short distance from the grave, away from the other attendees, and only approach it after the burial is complete, to say Kaddish. Some do not even attend the burial, while others attend even the funeral. Practically, each community is to follow their custom. See Halacha 1F for the full details of this matter.

Kaddish:[212] In the event that the sons will not be participating in the funeral or burial [i.e. is in other country, or Minhag Yerushalayim] then Kaddish is to be recited by the sons prior to the body leaving the room. [The custom of many in the Diaspora, however, is for Kaddish to be said only after the burial, and not during the Levaya.[213]]

Who is to be the first to exit the room: Some are accustomed for the mourning relatives to be the first to leave the home, followed by the more distant relatives and the body. [Practically, however, due to the warning of Rav Yehuda Hachassid that the body must be the first to leave the home, as explained in Chapter 4 Halacha 14, therefore the body is to be the first to leave the room, and all the people inside are then to follow.[214] Nonetheless, prior to body being moved at all, the relatives and others may exit the room.^[215] Likewise, those people who are needed to carry the body, may be the first to exit in the process of carrying.[216]

Shattered earthenware by door: Some are accustomed to place shattered earthenware by the entrance of the door upon taking the body out.[217] This is not the Chabad custom.[218]]

Feet first:[219]  The body is to exit with its feet first.

Yosheiv Beseiser:[220] Upon the body leaving the Taharah room, the verses of Yosheiv Besisar are to be recited.

D. The procession to the cemetery:

Escorting from behind:^[221] One is to escort the deceased from behind and not from in front of him.

Who carries the body: It is a great Mitzvah for all the men to take turns and participate in the carrying of the body.^[222] The order is as follows: The non-relatives place the body onto the bed and the bed/casket is first carried by the mourners and relatives, on their shoulders. It is then carried by the rest of the participants.^[223] Today, however, the widespread custom is to no longer have the relatives and mourners lead the procession, and rather they walk together with everyone else.^[224] As stated in Halacha 1F, the widespread custom is that the descendants of the deceased do not carry or touch the casket at all, throughout the funeral. A Baal Keri or Nida is not to touch the body or casket throughout the funeral and burial, [once the Taharah is performed].^[225] Likewise, a gentile is not to touch the body or casket throughout the funeral and burial.^[226] One is to prevent a gentile from even seeing the body.^[227]

How the body is carried:^[228] Customarily, the body is to be carried on one’s shoulders [and not on a wagon or hearse]. [It is to be carried on the shoulders for at least four Amos. Practically, today the custom is for the casket to be transported by car, known as the hearse, until the cemetery. It is not carried on the shoulders, due to the long distance.^[229] Some, however, carry the casket for a short time on the shoulders and only then enter it into the hearse for travel to the cemetery.^[230] When the hearse arrives at the cemetery, the body is to be carried on the shoulders until it reaches the grave.^[231]]

What to say:^[232] While escorting the deceased, the participants are to recite Psalm 91 “Yosheiv Beseiser.” The Psalm is repeated until the deceased arrives at the cemetery. [One may also recite other verses of Tehillim^[233] and so is the custom in Eretz Yisrael.^[234] After Yosheiv Beseiser, many recite the prayers of Ana Bekoach and Michtam Ledavid.[235] In Crown Heights the custom is to only say Yosheiv Beseiser.[236] Upon saying Yosheiv Beseiser, one is to begin from the verse of Vayhei Noam.[237]]

The car procession: It is common for the funeral procession to take place in a distant location from the cemetery, such as by the shul of the community that the deceased was affiliated with, in order for the maximum amount of people to pay their final respects and join the funeral. In such a case, the casket remains in the hearse, with its rear door opened, and people pass by it asking for forgiveness from the deceased, and reciting Tehillim, particularly Psalm 91 of Yosheiv Beseiser. Upon notice from the Chevra Kadisha, the car begins to drive slowly away, with the participants following for about half a block from behind, saying Psalm 91. Prior to the car driving, the descendent exit the funeral and make their way to the cemetery, as stated above. Those continuing on to the cemetery form a line with their cars behind the hearse. Everyone else remains, until the hearse and procession are out of sight. Sometimes, the hearse may stop at another location en-route to the cemetery, such as the deceased’s synagogue or yeshiva, giving the people there a chance to pay their respects. It is preferable for the driver of the hearse to be a Jew. If this is not possible, then at the very least a Jew is to escort the driver of the hearse in the car.^[238]

Order in Eretz Yisrael-Kaddish and prayers said by the stops during the procession:[239] It is common in Eretz Yisrael for the procession to make several stops in various locations, and for the Mishneh of Akavya Ben Mihalalel, and Kaddish, to be recited at each of these stops. [The prayers are recorded in the end of this chapter. These Kaddeishim said during the actual procession, are not to be said by the sons of the deceased, but rather by a designated individual who does not have parents.[240]] The widespread custom in the Diaspora, however, is for Kaddish to be said only after the burial, and not during the procession. Likewise, the Mishneh of Akvaya Ben Mihallel is not recited.[241]

E. Arriving at the cemetery-Blessing of Asher Yatzar Eschem Badin:^[242]

One who has not visited a cemetery^[243] in thirty days^[244] is to recite the blessing of Asher Yatzar Eschem Badin upon seeing a cemetery. Thus, those escorting the deceased to the cemetery, or participating in the burial, are to recite the following blessing upon entering the cemetery^[245], if they have not seen a cemetery in 30 days. [The relatives, however, who are in the status of Onen do not recite the blessing upon seeing a cemetery neither before nor after the burial.^[246]] See Chapter 31 Halacha 8E for the full details of this subject! The following is the blessing:

ברוך אתה יי אלקינו מלך העולם אשר יצר אתכם בדין וזן אתכם בדין וכלכל אתכם בדין והמית אתכם בדין ויודע מספר כלכם והוא עתיד להחיותכם ולקיים אתכם בדין: ברוך אתה יי מחייה המתים:^[247]

F. The Mamados-Seven rests:^[248]

Some say that when the body arrives near the graves, they are to stop every four Amos prior to the burial [for the sake of banishing the evil spirits that try to enter the grave during the burial^[249]]. [In the times of the Rama] the custom was to stop 2-3 times prior to saying Tziduk Hadin.^[250] [However, today the custom is to stop seven times^[251], and to recite the Psalm of 91, Yosheiv Beseiser, seven times.^[252] One is to add one word to the sentence beginning with Ki Malachav each time he recites it, as explained next.]

The procedure is as follows:^[253] At a distance of approximately 30 feet from the grave^[254], those carrying the casket halt the procession and recite the Psalm of Yosheiv Beseiser, pausing after the word Ki. They then walk four Amos, stop, and repeat Yosheiv Beseiser a second time, this time stopping with the word “Ki Malachav”. They then walk four Amos, stop, and repeat Yosheiv Beseiser a third time, this time stopping with the word “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh”. This process of walking four Amos, stopping and reciting Psalm 91 is done another four times, for a total of seven times. The fourth time he ends with the words “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh Lach”. The fifth time he ends with the words “Lishmorcha”. The sixth time “Lishmorcha Bechol”. The seventh and final time he concludes with “Lishmorcha Bechol Derachecha”.]

Days and times that it is not done:^[255] On days that Tziduk Hadin [and Tachanun] is not recited, there is no need to stop at all.^[256] [Nonetheless Psalm 91 of Yosheiv Beseiser is recited during the procession as usual.^[257] Some are accustomed not to perform the stops during a night burial, others however perform the stops even at night.^[258]]

Women:^[259] When burying a woman, some are accustomed not to make the stops, while others are accustomed to make the stops just as is done by men.

How to carry the Aron during the stops:^[260] Some are accustomed to carry the deceased on a rolling bed and stop the bed for each of these seven times, and remove their hands from the bed or casket. Others are accustomed to carry the deceased on their shoulders and stop seven times, and so is the Chabad custom.^[261]

 G. The Hakafos-Seven encircling’s:^[262]

Some are accustomed to performing seven Hakafos to the body of the deceased [i.e. encircle the body seven times].^[263] This is customarily performed directly prior to the burial, when the procession has reached the grave.^[264] The paragraph of Yosheiv Biseiser is recited by each Hakafah, for a total of seven times.^[265] Practically, today the custom of many communities is not to perform the Hakafos unless the deceased was a person of great stature^[266], while others do not perform it at all.^[267] The Chabad custom is not to perform it at all, not even to the Rabbeim.^[268]  The custom in Jerusalem, however, is to perform the Hakafos by every man.^[269] The Hakafos is not performed on women^[270], or on children below the age of Mitzvos^[271], and is not performed at night^[272], or on days that Tachanun is omitted.^[273]

6. The burial:^[274]

*The following Halachos include only the laws that relate to the time of actual burial. For the general Halacha’s of burial, such as the cemetery, burial spot, depth of hole in ground, see Chapter 4!

 A. Minimal number of participants:^[275]

There should be at least a Minyan of ten Jewish males over the age of thirteen present at the burial.

 B. Keriah:

In some communities, the custom is to perform Keriah at the time of burial, directly prior to lowering the casket into the grave.^[276] Many communities, however, and so is the Chabad custom, perform the Keriah prior to the start of the funeral, as explained in chapter 6 Halacha 1C. Whatever the case, anyone who has yet to perform the Keriah is to do so now prior to the burial.

 C. Forgiveness:^[277]

Before the casket is lowered into the grave, the custom is for the children and relatives of the deceased to ask him for forgiveness. Before the grave is filled with earth, the Chevra Kadisha asks for forgiveness. [It is likewise customary to tell the deceased “Mifatrin Mekol Hachaveiros/You are ousted from all the memberships.”[278] Some however, negate the custom of saying this to the Niftar.[279] Chassidim are accustomed to tell the Niftar “.בעט זיך צום ביים רבי’ן” [280]]

 D. Lowering the casket/body into the grave:

Having a Jew lower the casket:^[281] Only Jews are to lower the casket into the grave.^[282] One is to prevent a gentile from even seeing the body [even if it is covered].^[283] In cemeteries that have an automatic casket lowering device, it is important that a Jew operate the mechanism that allows the casket to descend into the grave.

Women:^[284] In most communities, the custom is for men to perform the burial on both male and female deceased. However, some communities have women perform the burial for a female deceased.^[285]

How to rest the body in the grave:^[286] The body is placed into the ground on his back, facing up, like a person who is sleeping.^[287] It is placed in feet first, and only then the head.^[288] The head of the deceased is to rest where the tombstone will be erected, and the feet are positioned in the front of the grave. [In Eretz Yisrael, the custom is for the person who is actively positioning the body in the grave to remove his shoes and wear socks specially made for this purpose, or to wear rain boots.^[289] There is no such custom in the Diaspora.^[290]]

Removing the bottom panel of the casket: It is imperative that the body rest on the actual ground.^[291] Thus, one is to remove the bottom board of the casket once it is laid in the grave.^[292] [See Chapter 4 Halacha 6A]

The prayers said: As the body is placed into the grave, the verses of Yosheiv Beseiser are recited.^[293] No other talking should take place at this time.^[294]

 E. Turning over the bed:^[295]

It is customary after lowering the body of the deceased into the grave, to turn over the bed [in which he was carried on] three times, to the side facing the outside of the city.^[296] This is likewise the Chabad custom.^[297] It, however, is not done on days that Tachanun is omitted.^[298]

 F. Matters done after the lowering the casket, prior to filling the grave:

Placing earth of Eretz Yisrael:^[299] It is customary to place the earth of Eretz Yisrael in the grave. [It is placed both under and on top of the body/casket.^[300] Preferably, earth from Har Hazeisim is to be used.^[301] The earth is also placed on numerous areas of the body of the deceased. Practically, however, this is already done at the conclusion of the Taharah^[302], although some do it only after lowering the body into the grave.^[303] See Chapter 5 Halacha 8H for the full details of this subject!]

Placing shards of earthenware on the eyes and mouth:^[304] The custom is to place shards of earthenware on the eyes [and mouth^[305]] of the deceased. Practically, however, this is already done at the conclusion of the Taharah^[306], although some do it only after lowering the body into the grave.^[307] See Chapter 5 Halacha 8F for the full details of this subject!

Placing wood pieces in the hand of the deceased:^[308] Some are accustomed to place pieces of wood [called Geflich] into the hands of the deceased and to close the hands.^[309] Practically, the Chabad custom is not to do so at all^[310], and even amongst those who do so, many do it after the Taharah, although some delay doing it until the body is lowered into the grave.^[311]

Verifying that the top of the casket is closed:^[312] We are careful that no earth enters into the casket and falls onto the body.^[313] Therefore, prior to lowering the casket into the grave, one is to verify that its cover is properly closed.

Covering the body in Eretz Yisrael:^[314] In those areas where the custom is to bury without a casket [such as Eretz Yisrael], the body is covered with a wooden board [or tiles] to prevent any earth from touching the body, as explained above.^[315] This is done in the following way: A tent like form is made over the body by making a wall around the body using rocks or wooden boards with a height reaching more than a Tefach above the body. Tiles, or a wooden board, is then placed on top of it, thus leaving a vacuum of more than a Tefach between the body and tiles/board. All the remaining open areas are covered with pebbles.

Announcing the name:^[316] It is customary prior to filling the grave, for the Chevra Kadisha to announce the name of the deceased and the name of his father and they warn him not to forget it.

Placing notes or manuscripts in the grave:^[317] Some Gedolei Yisrael asked for certain Torah manuscripts and other matters to be buried with them upon passing away. These items are placed in the grave prior to filling it with earth, while some place it in the actual coffin.

Bal Tashchis-Throwing items into the grave: See Chapter 4 Halacha 1C!

 G. Filling the grave with earth:^[318]

Not to fill the grave until all is verified:^[319] The casket is not to be closed, and the grave is not to be filled with earth, until all steps have been verified, as once the area of the body is covered with earth it may no longer be uncovered, with exception to mitigating circumstances. See Chapter 4 Halacha 8!

The relatives and sons filling the grave:^[320] Some are accustomed for the relatives, particularly the sons, to begin the burial and place the first shovel of earth onto the body. [The Chabad custom is for the sons, daughters, and grandchildren to not be involved in any of the aspects of the burial of their father, including the Taharah, carrying the body, or any other matter.^[321]]

Gentiles:^[322] Gentiles are not to fill the grave with earth, as stated above in D. Likewise, one is to beware not to take stones or earth from a gentile for the sake of burial. If necessary, they may carry the earth/stones and place them down near the grave, and then have a Jew enter it into the grave.^[323] 

Covering with earth: The grave is filled with earth until a small mound is formed on top. It is a Mitzvah for all the men present to assist in filling the grave with earth.^[324] Some are particular to place earth into the grave three times, while others do 5, 7 or 13 times.^[325] Some are accustomed to use their hands to throw earth into the grave, and do not use a shovel.^[326] Some use the back of their hands to shovel the initial earth into the grave, until it covers the casket, and only then use a shovel.[327]

Not to pass the shovel to each other:^[328] It is customary not to pass the shovel to one another during the burial, and rather it is placed down and then taken by another person.^[329] [The Chevra Kadisha is to announce this to the public.]

Begin with head:^[330] We begin filling the grave with earth by the area of the head of the deceased.

Saying the verse of Vehu Rachum:^[331] Upon each person throwing earth into the grave, they recite the verse of Vehu Rachum three times. The Chevra Kadisha is to announce this to the public. After they say Vehu Rachum three times, they are to recite the paragraph of Venachacha Hashem.^[332] The widespread Chabad custom, however, is not to say the added Nussach of Venachachah.[333] These prayers are printed in the end of this chapter!

The mound made on the grave:^[334] After the grave is filled with earth, a small mound of earth is made on top of it, reaching a height of one Ama [49 cm, and at the very least three Tefachim, which is 24 centimeters^[335]]. [Some are accustomed to reciting prayers of Hashkavos after the mound is complete. Others do not do so.^[336]]

A sign with the name:^[337] Once the grave is completely filled with earth and the top is in the shape of a small mound, it is customary to make a small sign with the name of the deceased and his father [or mother, and date of passing] by the grave. It remains there until the Matzeiva/tombstone is erected

Flowers:^[338] We do not place flowers on the grave due to the prohibition of Bechukoseihem Lo Seileichu.

 H. Tziduk Hadin:^[339]

After the passing, the prayer of Tziduk Hadin is to be recited.^[340] [Practically, today the custom is not to recite it at the time of death, but rather during the burial.^[341] Many are accustomed to reciting it immediately after the burial, after forming the mound on the grave, and so is the Chabad custom, although some recite it prior to the burial.^[342]]

Days that it is omitted: On days that Tachanun is omitted [as listed in the Poskim^[343]], Tziduk Hadin is not recited by Ashkenazim.^[344] It is thus not recited on Erev Shabbos [or Erev Yom Tov^[345]] after midday.^[346] It is disputed if it may be said past midday on the Erev of other days that Tachanun is not recited [i.e. Erev Rosh Chodesh].^[347] Likewise, Tziduk Hadin is not said at night, and thus whenever a burial is taking place at night, Tziduk Hadin is not recited. ^[348] [It may be recited however during Bein Hashmashos.^[349]]

How it is said: It is begun by one of the mourners, or alternatively by the Chevra Kadisha, if a mourning relative is not in the vicinity.^[350] It is said in a loud and teary voice.^[351] It is said near the grave, and may be said even within four Amos of it.^[352] Some write that it should only be said if a Minyan is present.^[353]

 I. Psalm 49 and the special Burial Kaddish:

Psalm 49:^[354] The Chabad custom is to recite Psalm 49 after reciting Tziduk Hadin, prior to reciting Kaddish. This Psalm is recited even on days that Tachanun is omitted.^[355]

Kaddish עָתִיד לְאִתְחַדָּתָא Asid L’Ischadata:^[356] Immediately following the completion of the burial [i.e. forming of the mound on the grave, and recital of Tziduk Hadin and Mizmor 49], it is customary [for the male mourners] to recite the specially formulated Kaddish, which includes a stanza of “Asid L’Ischadata Alma” and is thus called by this name. The Kaddish is to be recited from [at least a four Ama^[357]] distance from the surrounding graves.^[358] [However, some Poskim^[359] rule it may be recited near the grave of the deceased. Practically, many are accustomed to reciting it near the foot of the grave. All the male children say the Kaddish together.^[360] It is said facing Jerusalem. It may only be said if a Minyan is present, as is the rule by any Kaddish.^[361] If there are no male mourners, then another designated Jewish man who does not have parents recites the Kaddish on behalf of the family.^[362]]

Days that this Kaddish is omitted:^[363] On all days [i.e. no Tachanun] and times [i.e. night] that Tziduk Hadin is omitted [as explained in Halacha G], the Kaddish of Asid L’Ischadata is likewise omitted. [Instead, we recite Psalm 16 of Michtam Ledavid and then recite the regular Mourner’s Kaddish, known as Kaddish Yasom.^[364] Some however recite Psalm 49 instead of Psalm 16, as stated above.]

 7. After the burial:[365]

 A. The mourners remove their leather shoes:^[366]

Some Poskim^[367] rule that the mourners are not required to remove his leather shoes until he arrives home after the burial.^[368] Other Poskim^[369] rule that one who is an Avel on the passing of his father or mother is required to walk home barefoot after the burial. Practically, the custom is [by the death of all relatives] for the mourners [both male and female] to remove the shoes after the burial, immediately after the Golel is sealed.^[370] This means that after the corpse is covered with earth, and the sealing of the grave with the earth is complete, then the shoes are removed.^[371] Alternatively, once the Avel has turned his face away from the corpse [and exited the funeral] he is to remove his shoes.^[372] [Practically, today the custom is to remove the shoes only after the Kaddish is said after the burial. The Avel then walks through the row of comforters without his shoes, as explained next. He is to travel back home with non-leather shoes.^[373]]

Chol Hamoed:^[374] If a burial takes place on Chol Hamoed, the shoes are not removed.

 

 B. The Graveside Condolence [i.e. Shura Nichum Aveilim]:^[375]

The custom is to stand in a line and comfort the mourners after concluding the burial [i.e. after the saying of Tziduk Hadin, Kaddish, and removal of the shoes].^[376] This is done even on days that Tachanun and Tziduk Hadin are omitted, such as Chol Hamoed.^[377] All the Jewish men present form two rows, with at least five people in each row [if possible^[378]], not including any of the mourners. This is to be done from at least a four Amos distance from the graves.^[379] The male mourners walk in the pathway between the two rows, and the people console them with the passage of “Hamakom Yinachem Eschem Besoch Shaar Avalei Tziyon Viyerushalayim.” [After the male mourners’ pass, all the men forming the rows move to one side, forming a single row. The women mourners then pass in front of them, receiving the same condolence.^[380] The men are to be very careful not to look at the face of the women, as stated above in Halacha 4F. However, some write that this should not be done, and women mourners are not to pass before the men for comforting.^[381]]

C.  Chalitzas Kateif-Replacing one’s arm into the sleeve:

In previous times, it was required for one who was a mourner for a parent to walk around with his arm and shoulder outside of its sleeve [i.e. Chalitzas Kateif] from the time of death until after the burial. This was likewise done by other people, as a sign of mourning.^[382] Accordingly, after the burial, the sons [and other individuals] would replace their shirts and sleeves to cover their arm and shoulders. Practically, this matter of Chalitzas Hakateif is no longer accustomed at all today.^[383]

 D. Beginning Aveilus:

It is advisable that before leaving the cemetery, the mourners sit on a low stool or bench, formally initiating the Shiva mourning process. This is so that they can count this day as the first day of Shiva.

E. Mourners saying Birchas Hashachar, Davening, Tefillin, Havdalah:

Birchas Hashachar:^[384] If the mourners became an Onen prior to daybreak of the day of burial, and the burial took place after daybreak, then they do not recite Birchas Hashachar even after the burial. However, Birchas Hatorah is to be recited after the burial. See Chapter 3 Halacha 24A for the full details of this matter!

Tefillin: On the first day of mourning, which is the day of burial, it is forbidden for a mourner to put on Tefillin. Nonetheless, the widespread Chabad custom is to wear the Tefillin of both Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam without a blessing on the first day of Aveilus, which begins right after the burial. If the burial takes place close to sunset, or the end time of Shacharis, then the Tefillin are to be put on right after the burial, outside the cemetery, or at the very least at a four Amos distance from the surrounding graves. See Chapter 18 Halacha 3 for the full details of this subject!

Shema and Davening Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv: As soon as they begin to throw the earth onto the body, the Aveilim become obligated in Shema, if its time has not yet expired [i.e. Sof Zeman Kerias Shema]. Thus, if the burial took place prior to Sof Zeman Kerias Shema, then Shema is to be recited [outside the cemetery, or at the very least at a four Amos distance from the surrounding graves]. The same applies for Davening Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv if the burial concluded within the Zman of that Tefilah. See Chapter 3 Halacha 24B for the full details of this matter!

Havdalah-Burial took place after Motzei Shabbos: If the deceased passed away on Shabbos [or before Shabbos and was not yet buried], then after the burial, Havdalah must to be recited [prior to eating or drinking any food; prior to eating the Seudas Havraah]. See Chapter 3 Halacha 24D for the full details of this matter!

 F. Mourners retire to the Shiva Home & Seudas Havraah-The First meal

Following the burial, the mourners retire to the Shiva home. This is the place where the family will gather to observe the Shiva and to receive visitors. As soon as the mourners arrive at the Shiva home, they are served a meal called the Seudat Havra-ah, the meal of recovery or condolence. It is forbidden for them to eat any food until this meal is served. See Chapter 14 for the full details of this subject.

Escorting the mourner’s home:^[385] The custom is for the participants of the burial to escort the mourners to the Shiva home. The men escort the male mourners while the women escort the female mourners. [This is not done on Chol Hamoed.^[386]]

 8. Leaving the cemetery:^[387]

*The following laws apply to both the mourners and participants of the funeral/burial, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

 A. When to leave:^[388]

The participants are not to leave the cemetery until the grave is filled.

Women and men leaving separate ways:^[389] The women and men are to leave the grave and cemetery at separate times, and in separate ways. In some communities the custom is for the men to leave prior to the women, and for the women to delay staying by the grave until 15 minutes pass from after the women have left. Others are accustomed to do the contrary, and have the women leave before the men. Whatever the case, care must be taken that the men and women do not see each other on the way out, due to reasons explained in Halacha 4F.

 B. Saying farewell to the deceased:^[390]

At the conclusion of the burial [or upon one leaving the funeral] one is to say “Leich Beshalom…^[391] Vitaamod Legoralecha Likeitz Hayamim.”^[392] Practically, however, many are not accustomed to do so.^[393]

Kissing and falling on the grave: Some are accustomed to fall upon the grave and kiss the earth after the burial.^[394] This is not the widespread custom.^[395]

Charity:^[396] Some have the custom to place some money in a charity box, or make a pledge to do so later, in honor of the deceased.

 C. Leaving in a different path:^[397]

One is to try to leave the cemetery in a different path than the path he used to enter. [If there is only one entrance/exit to the cemetery, then one is at the very least to leave from a different direction from the area of the grave.]

 

 D. Throwing grass:^[398]

After the burial, upon leaving the cemetery, one uproots earth and grass^[399], and tosses it behind his back. [This is done three times.^[400] While doing so one recites the verse “Zechor Ki Afar Anachnu”.^[401] Some, however, say the verse of “Vayatzitzu Meir Kieisev Haaretz.”^[402]]

Chol Hamoed:^[403] The above is not to be done on Chol Hamoed. [It, however, is done on other days that Tachanun is omitted, although some are accustomed not to do so.^[404]]

 E. Washing the hands after the funeral/burial:^[405]

One who attended a funeral is not required to wash his hands afterwards [even if he was within four Amos of the deceased^[406]]. Nevertheless, the custom is to [immediately^[407]] wash hands after attending a funeral. [From the letter of the law, this custom of washing the hands after a funeral only applies if one was within four Amos of the corpse.^[408] Nevertheless, the custom today is to wash hands upon attending a funeral even if one was not within four Amos of the corpse.^[409] Some have the custom to say the verse “Kaper Liamecha Yisrael” after the washing.^[410]]

Not to enter home before washing:^[411] One who attended a burial [or funeral^[412]] is not to enter into a house until after the washing.^[413] [This applies even if he was not within four Amos of the deceased.^[414]]

Eating, learning Torah before washing:^[415] From the letter of the law, it is permitted to eat foods, and learn Torah, prior to performing the above washing. Nevertheless, it is best to wash the hands immediately after the above actions, in order to remove the impurity right away, as stated above.

How to wash:^[416] From the letter of the law, it suffices for one who attended a funeral, or burial, to wash his hands one time.^[417] Nevertheless, the custom is to wash one’s hands three times [inconsecutively, with a vessel, alternating between hands ^[418]] just as one washes upon awakening in the morning.^[419] [One is not to wash his hands in a river.[420]]

Where to pour the water:^[421] According to Kabbalah, the water is to be poured outside in a slanted area.^[422] [Seemingly, the same applies if the water is poured into the drain of a sink.]

Putting down the vessel: One does not take the vessel from another person’s hand and does not hand the vessel to another person. Rather one places it down and the next person takes it.^[423] The custom is to place the vessel upside down.^[424]

Drying the hands:^[425] One does not dry his hands with a towel and rather lets them dry on their own.

Washing the face: One is to wash his face after attending the funeral/burial.^[426] Practically, it is no longer customary today to wash the face after a funeral or burial.^[427]

Verse of Bala Hamaves Lanetzach: Some recite the following verse upon washing the face: “Bala Hamaves Lanetzach, Umacha Hashem Elokim Dima Meial Kol Panim Vicherpas Amo Yasir Meial Kol Haaretz Ki Hashem Diber”.^[428] Others recite it after washing the hands.^[429]

Going to Mikvah:^[430] Some have the custom to immerse in a Mikvah after a funeral.

 F. Sitting and reciting Yosheiv Biseiser seven times:^[431]

Some Poskim^[432] rule that after attending a burial^[433] one is to sit down seven times due to the evil spirits that escort him after attending such an event.^[434] In these countries [in the time and place of the Rama], however, the custom is to only sit three times after washing the hands.^[435] [The main opinion follows the former opinion to sit seven times.^[436]] Each time one sits, one recites Vayehi Noam and Yosheiv Biseiser.^[437] [Practically, many are no longer accustomed to performing the above sitting down session at all.^[438] Others write that the custom is for it to be performed only by the relatives of the deceased.^[439] The Chabad custom, however, is for all participants of a burial, or even a funeral, to perform the above sitting session seven times, as records the first opinion.^[440]]

Not to enter home before sitting and saying Yosheiv Beseiser:^[441] One who attended a burial is not to enter into a house until after the washing and sitting session [of Yosheiv Beseiser].^[442] [Some, however, allow entering into a Beis Midrash prior to the washing and sitting, and wash and sit there, and so is the Chabad custom.[443]]

How it is practically done: After the washing of the hands, one sits down and recites Vayehi Noam and Yosheiv Biseiser seven times. One is to switch places, stand up and sit back down elsewhere, between each time he recites it.^[444] The paragraph of Vayehi Noam and Yosheiv Beseiser is said as follows:^[445] One is to add one word to the last sentence each time he recites it. Thus, the first time he recites it he ends with the word “Ki”. The second time he ends with the word “Ki Malachav”. The third time he ends with the word “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh”. The fourth time he ends with the words “Ki Malachav Yitzaveh Lach”. The fifth time he ends with the words “Lishmorcha”. The sixth time “Lishmorcha Bechol”. The seventh and final time he concludes with “Lishmorcha Bechol Derachecha”.

Paragraph of Mechayeh Meisim:^[446] Some are accustomed to recite the paragraph of Ata Gibor..Mechayeh Meisim^[447] after the recital of Yosheiv Beseiser.

Shabbos/Yom Tov:^[448] The above procedure of sitting and reciting Yosheiv Beseiser is performed even if the burial occurred on Yom Tov, or close to Shabbos, and will thus be performed on Shabbos.

 

The prayers said by the funeral

Normal order followed in Diaspora [Darkei Chesed p. 266]

*There may be minor discrepancies based on community and/or Chevra Kadisha

*For the Mizmor of Yosheiv Beseiser that many say by the funeral-see the order said in Eretz Yisrael

 

Order followed in many funerals in Israel

*There may be minor discrepancies based on community and/or Chevra Kadisha

לוויה שיוצאת מהבית

כאשר מוצאים את הנפטר מהבית יש נוהגים לשבור כלי חרס (פורצלן) על מפתן הבית ואומרים:

“הפח נשבר ואנחנו נמלטנו ולא יהיה עוד שבר בגבול ישראל”.

סדר מסע הלוויה

בתחילת מסע הלוויה קורעים קריעה ומברכים דיין האמת.

נוסח ברכת דיין האמת: “ברוך אתה ה’ אלוקינו מלך העולם דיין האמת”.

החזן אומר:

“צדק לפניו יהלך וישם לדרך פעמיו”

לאחר מכן אומר את המשנה:

“עֲקַבְיָא בֶּן מַהֲלַלְאֵל אוֹמֵר: הִסְתַּכֵּל בִּשְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים וְאֵין אַתָּה בָא לִידֵי עֲבֵירָה; דַּע מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן. מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ – מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ – לִמְקוֹם עָפָר, רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה, וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן – לִפְנֵי מֶלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא.”

 

ולאחר מכן את הפסוקים הבאים:

“גְּדֹל הָעֵצָה וְרַב הָעֲלִילִיָּה, אֲשֶׁר עֵינֶיךָ פְּקוּחוֹת עַל כָּל דַּרְכֵי בְנֵי אָדָם, לָתֵת לְאִישׁ כִּדְרָכָיו וְכִפְרִי מַעֲלָלָיו. לְהַגִּיד כִּי יָשָר י ה’, צוּרִי וְלּא עַוְלָתָה בּוֹ. ה’ נָתַן, וַה’ לָקָח, יְהִי שֵם ה’ מְבוֹרָךְ. וְהוּא רַחוּם יְכַפֵּר עָוֹן וְלֹא יַשְׁחִית, וְהִרְבָּה לְהָשִׁיב אַפּוֹ, וְלֹא יָעִיר כָּל חֲמָתוֹ.”

נוהגים לעשות לנפטר התרת נדרים עוד בתחילת מסע הלוויה לפני אמירת קדיש יתום.

לאחר מכן אומרים האבלים קדיש יתום/יהא שלמא.

יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. אמן:

בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ ויצמח פורקניה ויקריב משיחיה

 בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן וּבְיוֹמֵיכוֹן וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:

יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:

יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרוֹמַם וְיִתְנַשֵּׂא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. בריך הוא:

לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:

יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:

עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם (בעשי”ת הַשָּׁלוֹם) בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:

במהלך מסע הלוויה אומרים החזן והקהל פרקי תהילים:

“וְיהְי נֹעֵם ה’ אלוקינו עלינו ומעשי ידינו כוננה עלינו ומעשי ידינו כוננהו:
יֹשֵׁב בְּסֵתֶר עֶלְיוֹן בְּצֵל שַׁדַּ-י יִתְלוֹנָן, אּמַר לַה’ מַחְסִי וּמְצוּדָתִי, אֱלֹקי אֶבְטַח בּוֹ. כִּי הוּא יַצִּילְךָ מִפַּח יָקוּשׁ, מִדֶּבֶר הַוּוֹת, בְּאֶבְרָתוֹ יָסֶךְ לָךְ וְתַחַת כְּנָפָיו תֶּחְסֶה. צִנָּה וְסֹחֵרָה אֲמִתּוֹ. לֹא תִירָא מִפַּחַד לָיְלָה, מֵחֵץ יָעוּף יוֹמָם, מִדֶּבֶר בָּאֹפֶל יַהֲלֹך, מִקֶּטֶב יָשׁוּד צָהֳרָיִם. יִפֹּל מִצִּדְּךָ אֶלֶף וּרְבָבָה מִימִינֶךָ. אֵלֶיךָ לֹא יִגָּשׁ, רַק בְּעֵינֶיךָ תַבִּיט, וְשִׁלֻּמַת רְשָׁעִים תִּרְאֶה. כִּי אַתָּה ה’ מַחְסִי, עֶלְיוֹן שַׂמְתָּ מְעוֹנֶךָ. לֹא תְאֻנֶּה אֵלֶיךָ רָעָה, וְנֶגַע לֹא יִקְרַב בְּאָהֳלֶךָ, כִּי מַלְאָכָיו יְצַוֶּה לָּך לִשְׁמָרְךָ בְּכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ. עַל כַּפַּיִם יִשָּׂאוּנְך, פֶּן תִּגּוֹף בָּאֶבֶן רַגְלֶךָ. עַל שַׁחַל וָפֶתֶן תִּדְרֹךְ, תִּרְמֹס כְּפִיר וְתַנִּין. כִּי בִי חָשַׁק וַאֲפַלְּטֵהוּ, אֲשַׂגְּבֵהוּ כִּי יָדַע שְׁמִי. יִקְרָאֵנִי וְאֶעֱנֵהוּ, עִמּוֹ אָנֹכִי בְצָרָה, אֲחַלְּצֵהוּ וַאֲכַבְּדֵהוּ. אֹרֶךְ יָמִים אַשְׂבִּיעֵהו, וְאַרְאֵהוּ בִּישׁוּעָתִי. אֹרֶךְ יָמִים אַשְׂבִּיעֵהוּ, וְאַרְאֵהוּ בִּישׁוּעָתִי.”

שִׁיר הַמַּעֲלוֹת מִמַּעֲמַקִּים קְרָאתִיךָ ה’: אֲדנָי שִׁמְעָה בְקוֹלִי תִּהְיֶינָה אָזְנֶיךָ קַשֻּׁבוֹת לְקוֹל תַּחֲנוּנָי :אִם- עֲוֹנוֹת תִּשְׁמָר י-הּ אֲדנָי מִי יַעֲמד:  כִּי-עִמְּךָ הַסְּלִיחָה לְמַעַן תִּוָּרֵא:  קִוִּיתִי ה’ קִוְּתָה נַפְשִׁי וְלִדְבָרוֹ הוֹחָלְתִּי:  נַפְשִׁי לַאדנָי מִשּׁמְרִים לַבּקֶר שׁמְרִים לַבּקֶר :יַחֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶל-ה’ כִּי-עִם-ה’ הַחֶסֶד וְהַרְבֵּה עִמּוֹ פְדוּת :וְהוּא יִפְדֶּה אֶת-יִשְׂרָאֵל מִכּל עֲוֹנוֹתָיו:

יש נוהגים לומר גם:

אָנָּא בְּכֹחַ. גְּדוּלַת יְמִינֶךָ. תַּתִּיר צְרוּרָה (אב”ג ית”ץ): קַבֵּל רִנַּת. עַמֶּךָ, שַׂגְּבֵנוּ. טַהֲרֵנוּ נוֹרָא (קר”ע שט”ן): נָא גִבּוֹר. דּוֹרְשֵׁי יִחוּדֶךָ. כְּבָבַת שָׁמְרֵם (נג”ד יכ”ש): בָּרְכֵם טַהֲרֵם. רַחֲמֵי צִדְקָתֶךָ. תָּמִיד גָּמְלֵם (בט”ר צת”ג): חָסִין קָדוֹשׁ. בְּרוֹב טוּבְךָ. נַהֵל עֲדָתֶךָ (חק”ב טנ”ע): יָחִיד גֵּאֶה. לְעַמְּךָ פְּנֵה. זוֹכְרֵי קְדֻשָּׁתֶךָ (יג”ל פז”ק): שַׁוְעָתֵנוּ קַבֵּל. וּשְׁמַע צַעֲקָתֵנוּ. יוֹדֵעַ תַּעֲלוּמוֹת (שק”ו צי”ת): ואומר – בָּרוּךְ, שֵׁם כְּבוֹד מַלְכוּתוֹ, לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד:

ובלוויה של אישה אומרים גם:

“אֵשֶׁת חַיִל מִי יִמְצָא, וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ, גְּמָלַתְהוּ טוֹב וְלֹא רָע, כֹּל יְמֵי חַיֶּיהָ. דָּרְשָׁה צֶמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים, וַתַּעַשׂ בְּחֵפֶץ כַּפֶּיהָ. הָיְתָה כָּאֳנִיּוֹת סוֹחֵר, מִמֶּרְחָק תָּבִיא לַחְמָהּ. וַתָּקָם בְּעוֹד לַיְלָה, וַתִּתֵּן טֶרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ וְחֹק לְנַעֲרוֹתֶיהָ. זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה וַתִּקָּחֵהוּ, מִפְּרִי כַפֶּיהָ נָטְעָה כָּרֶם. חָגְרָה בְעוֹז מָתְנֶיהָ, וַתְּאַמֵּץ זְרוֹעוֹתֶיהָ. טָעֲמָה כִּי טוֹב סַחְרָהּ, לֹא יִכְבֶּה בַלַּיְלָה נֵרָהּ. יָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר, וְכַפֶּיהָ תָּמְכוּ פָלֶךְ. כַּפָּהּ פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי, וְיָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיוֹן. לֹא תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּׁלֶג, כִּי כָל בֵּיתָהּ לָבוּשׁ שָׁנִים. מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה לָּהּ, שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ. נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָה, בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ עִם זִקְנֵי אָרֶץ. סָדִין עָשְׂתָה וַתִּמְכּוֹר, וַחֲגוֹר נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי. עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁה, וַתִּשְׂחַק לְיוֹם אַחֲרוֹן. פִּיהָ פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה, וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד עַל לְשׁוֹנָהּ. צוֹפִיָּה הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ, וְלֶחֶם עַצְלוּת לֹא תֹאכֵל. קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ וַיְּאַשְּׁרוּהָ, בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ. רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָשׂוּ חָיִל, וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּנָה. שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי, אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת ה’ הִיא תִתְהַלָּל. תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ, וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ.”

במהלך מסע הלוויה יש נוהגים לקיים סדר מעמדות, דהיינו; לעצור במשך מסע הלוויה 7 פעמים. ויש נוהגים לעצור רק פעמיים.

מנהג ירושלים שכל פעם שהמיטה עוברת ליד בית כנסת (אין להכניס נפטר לבית הכנסת) עוצרים ואומרים:

“עֲקַבְיָא בֶּן מַהֲלַלְאֵל אוֹמֵר: הִסְתַּכֵּל בִּשְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים וְאֵין אַתָּה בָא לִידֵי עֲבֵירָה; דַּע מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ, וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן. מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ – מִטִּפָּה סְרוּחָה, וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ – לִמְקוֹם עָפָר, רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה, וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן – לִפְנֵי מֶלֶךְ מַלְכֵי הַמְּלָכִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא.”

Psalm 16

מִכְתָּם לְדָוִד, שָׁמְרֵנִי אֵל כִּי חָסִיתִי בָךְ: אָמַרְתְּ לַייָ אֲדֹנָי אָתָּה, טוֹבָתִי בַּל עָלֶיךָ: לִקְדוֹשִׁים אֲשֶׁר בָּאָרֶץ הֵמָּה, וְאַדִּירֵי כָּל חֶפְצִי בָם: יִרְבּוּ עַצְּבוֹתָם אַחֵר מָהָרוּ, בַּל אַסִּיךְ נִסְכֵּיהֶם מִדָּם, וּבַל אֶשָּׂא אֶת שְׁמוֹתָם עַל שְׂפָתָי: יְיָ מְנָת חֶלְקִי וְכוֹסִי, אַתָּה תּוֹמִיךְ גּוֹרָלִי: חֲבָלִים נָפְלוּ לִי בַּנְּעִמִים, אַף נַחֲלָת שָׁפְרָה עָלָי: אֲבָרֵךְ אֶת יְיָ אֲשֶׁר יְעָצָנִי, אַף לֵילוֹת יִסְּרוּנִי כִלְיוֹתָי: שִׁוִּיתִי יְיָ לְנֶגְדִּי תָמִיד, כִּי מִימִינִי בַּל אֶמּוֹט: לָכֵן שָׂמַח לִבִּי וַיָּגֶל כְּבוֹדִי, אַף בְּשָׂרִי יִשְׁכֹּן לָבֶטַח: כִּי לֹא תַעֲזֹב נַפְשִׁי לִשְׁאוֹל, לֹא תִתֵּן חֲסִידְךָ לִרְאוֹת שָׁחַת: תּוֹדִיעֵנִי אֹרַח חַיִּים, שׂבַע שְׂמָחוֹת אֶת פָּנֶיךָ, נְעִמוֹת בִּימִינְךָ נֶצַח

Psalm 91

יֹשֵׁב בְּסֵתֶר עֶלְיוֹן, בְּצֵל שַׁדַּ-י יִתְלוֹנָן: אֹמַר לַייָ מַחְסִי וּמְצוּדָתִי, אֱלֹקי אֶבְטַח בּוֹ: כִּי הוּא יַצִּילְךָ מִפַּח יָקוּשׁ, מִדֶּבֶר הַוּוֹת: בְּאֶבְרָתוֹ יָסֶךְ לָךְ וְתַחַת כְּנָפָיו תֶּחְסֶה, צִנָּה וְסֹחֵרָה אֲמִתּוֹ: לֹא תִירָא מִפַּחַד לָיְלָה, מֵחֵץ יָעוּף יוֹמָם: מִדֶּבֶר בָּאֹפֶל יַהֲלֹךְ, מִקֶּטֶב יָשׁוּד צָהֳרָיִם: יִפֹּל מִצִּדְּךָ אֶלֶף וּרְבָבָה מִימִינֶךָ, אֵלֶיךָ לֹא יִגָּשׁ: רַק בְּעֵינֶיךָ תַבִּיט, וְשִׁלֻּמַת רְשָׁעִים תִּרְאֶה: כִּי אַתָּה יְיָ מַחְסִי, עֶלְיוֹן שַׂמְתָּ מְעוֹנֶךָ: לֹא תְאֻנֶּה אֵלֶיךָ רָעָה, וְנֶגַע לֹא יִקְרַב בְּאָהֳלֶךָ: כִּי מַלְאָכָיו יְצַוֶּה לָּךְ, לִשְׁמָרְךָ בְּכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ::     

The Prayers said by the Burial:

Birchas Mechayeh Meisim: Said upon arrival at cemetery if one had not visited a cemetery in 30 days, as explained in Halacha 5C-See there!

Psalm 91: Said seven times during Seder Mamados-See Halacha 5D!

יֹשֵׁב בְּסֵתֶר עֶלְיוֹן בְּצֵל שַׁ-דַּי יִתְלוֹנָן, אּמַר לַה’ מַחְסִי וּמְצוּדָתִי, אֱלֹקי אֶבְטַח בּוֹ. כִּי הוּא יַצִּילְךָ מִפַּח יָקוּשׁ, מִדֶּבֶר הַוּוֹת, בְּאֶבְרָתוֹ יָסֶךְ לָךְ וְתַחַת כְּנָפָיו תֶּחְסֶה. צִנָּה וְסֹחֵרָה אֲמִתּוֹ. לֹא תִירָא מִפַּחַד לָיְלָה, מֵחֵץ יָעוּף יוֹמָם, מִדֶּבֶר בָּאֹפֶל יַהֲלֹך, מִקֶּטֶב יָשׁוּד צָהֳרָיִם. יִפֹּל מִצִּדְּךָ אֶלֶף וּרְבָבָה מִימִינֶךָ. אֵלֶיךָ לֹא יִגָּשׁ, רַק בְּעֵינֶיךָ תַבִּיט, וְשִׁלֻּמַת רְשָׁעִים תִּרְאֶה. כִּי אַתָּה ה’ מַחְסִי, עֶלְיוֹן שַׂמְתָּ מְעוֹנֶךָ. לֹא תְאֻנֶּה אֵלֶיךָ רָעָה, וְנֶגַע לֹא יִקְרַב בְּאָהֳלֶךָ, כִּי מַלְאָכָיו יְצַוֶּה לָּך לִשְׁמָרְךָ בְּכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ.

  

Vehu Rachum: Said upon throwing earth in grave-See Halacha 6G!

Tziduk Hadin-Said at conclusion of burial-See Halacha 6H!

הַצּוּר תָּמִים פָּעֳלוֹ כִּי כָל דְּרָכָיו מִשְׁפָּט, אֵל אֱמוּנָה וְאֵין עָוֶל צַדִּיק וְיָשָׁר הוּא. הַצּוּר תָּמִים בְּכָל פֹּעַל, מִי יֹאמַר לוֹ מַה תִפְעָל, הַשַּלִיט בְּמַטָּה וּבְמַעַל, מֵמית וּמְחַיֶּה, מוֹרִיד שְׁאוֹל וַיָּעַל. הַצּוּר תָּמִים בְּכָל מַעֲשֶה, מִי יֹאמַר לוֹ מַה תַּעֲשֶה, הָאוֹמֵר וְעֹשֶׂה, חֶסֶד חִנָּם לָנוּ תַעֲשֶׂה, וּבִזְכוּת הַנֶּעֱקַד כְּשֶׂה, הַקְשִיבָה וַעֲשֵׂה. צַדִּיק בְּכָל דְּרָכָיו הַצוּר תָּמִים, אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם וּמָלֵא רַחֲמִים, חֲמָל נָא וְחוּס נָא עַל אָבוֹת וּבָנִים, כִּי לְךָ, אָדוֹן, הַסְּלִיחוֹת וְהָרַחֲמִים. צַדִּיק אַתָּה ה’ לְהָמִית וּלְהַחֲיוֹת, אֲשֶׁר בְּיָדְךָ פִּקְדוֹן כָּל רוּחוֹת, חָלִילָה לְךָ זִכְרוֹנֵנוּ לִמְחוֹת, וְיִהְיוּ נָא עֵינֶיךָ בְּרַחֲמִים עָלֵינוּ פְקוּחוֹת, כִּי לְךָ, אָדוֹן, הַסְּלִיחוֹת וְהָרַחֲמִים. אָדָם אִם בֶּן שָנָה יִחְיֶה, אוֹ אֶלֶף שָׁנִים יִחְיֶה, מַה יִתְרוֹן לוֹ, כְּלֹא הָיָה יִהְיֶה, בָּרוּך דַּיָּן הָאֱמֶת, מֵמִית וּמְחַיֶּה. בָּרוּךְ הוּא, כִּי אֱמֶת דִּינוֹ, וּמְשׁוֹטֵט הַכֹּל בְּעֵינוֹ, וּמְשַׁלֵּם לְאָדָם חֶשְׁבּוֹנוֹ וְדִינוֹ, וְהַכֹּל לִשְׁמוֹ הוֹדָיָה יִתֵּנוּ. יָדַעְנוּ ה’ כִּי צֶדֶק מִשְׁפָּטֶךָ, תִּצְדַּק בְּדָבְרֶךָ וְתִזְכֶּה בְּשָׁפְטֶךָ, וְאֵין לְהַרְהֵר אַחַר מִדַּת שָׁפְטֶךָ, צַדִּיק אַתָּה ה’, וְיָשָׁר מִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ. דַּיָּן הָאֱמֶת, שֹׁפֵט צֶדֶק וֶאֱמֶת, בָּרוּךְ דַּיַּן הָאֱמֶת, כִּי כָל מִשְׁפָּטָיו צֶדֶק וֶאֱמֶת. נֶפֶשׁ כָּל חַי בְּיָדֶךָ, צֶדֶק מָלְאָה יְמִינֶךָ וְיָדֶךָ, רַחֵם עַל פְּלֵיטַת צֹאן יָדֶיךָ, ותֹאמַר לַמַּלְאָךָ הֶרֶף יָדֶךָ. גְּדֹל הָעֵצָה וְרַב הָעֲלִילִיָּה, אֲשֶׁר עֵינֶיךָ פְּקוּחוֹת עַל כָּל דַּרְכֵי בְנֵי אָדָם, לָתֵת לְאִישׁ כִּדְרָכָיו וְכִפְרִי מַעֲלָלָיו. לְהַגִּיד כִּי יָשָר ה’, צוּרִי וְלּא עַוְלָתָה בּוֹ. ה’ נָתַן, וַה’ לָקָח, יְהִי שֵם ה’ מְבוֹרָךְ. וְהוּא רַחוּם יְכַפֵּר עָוֹן וְלֹא יַשְׁחִית, וְהִרְבָּה לְהָשִׁיב אַפּוֹ, וְלֹא יָעִיר כָּל חֲמָתוֹ.

Psalm 49-Said after Tziduk Hadin-See Halacha 6I!

Kaddish Dehu Asid Leischadeta-Said after Psalm 49-See Halacha 6I!

Mourners Kaddish on days that Tziduk Hadin is not recited

___________________________________________

[1] See Shulchan Aruch 353-361 Gesher Hachaim 7; Pnei Baruch Chapter 5; Darkei Chesed 15-17; Nitei Gavriel 64-81; Koveitz Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah Parshas Vayechi 5770 for an article of the Minhagei Chabad followed by a Levayah and burial, written by Rav Y.S. Ginzberg, and edited by Rav Eliyahu Landau and Rav Levi Garelik

[2] Slight variations may be followed in one’s community, and one is to verify the exact process with the Chevra Kadisha in charge of the burial

[3] Michaber chapter 361; See Darkei Chesed 16; Nitei Gavriel 64-65

[4] Rambam Avel 14:1

[5] See Q&A!

[6] Michaber 361:1-3

[7] Michaber 343:1 regarding Niduiy if he does not have all his needs; 361:3 regarding Loeg Larash and Niduiy; Brachos 18a

[8] Michaber 361:5; Moed Katan 25a; Tur 361; Darkei Chesed 16:8

[9] Michaber 361:3; Tur 361 in name of Rosh and Rabbeinu Yona; Rashal Kesubos 2:5; Nitei Gavriel 64:2 footnote 2

[10] Chareidim 6; Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 1; Shevet Yehuda 361; Yad Eliyahu 53; Yifei Laleiv 361; Minchas Elazar 4:2; Ahavas Chesed 3:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:4 footnote 6

[11] Ahavas Chesed 3:5

[12] China Vechisda Kesubos 17a; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:4 footnote 6

[13] Yad Eliyahu 24, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:2; See Shach 361:4; Ahavas Chesed 3:5

[14] See Leket Yosher 2:88; Rashal Kesubos 2:5; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 190; Gesher Hachaim p. 131; Nitei Gavriel 65:24 footnote 31

[15] See Admur 526:22 “It is proper to have a Minyan by the burial”; Yad Eliyahu 24, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:2; Michaber 361:1; Shach 361:4; Ahavas Chesed 3:5; Darkei Chesed 16:5 that so is Minhag Yisrael

[16] Taz 355:1; Implication of Perisha 355; Aruch Hashulchan 355:1 that so is main opinion

[17] Shach 355:2 in interpretation of Rama 355:1 [in contrast to interpretation of Taz ibid]; See Aruch Hashulchan ibid

[18] Taz ibid; Aruch Hashulchan ibid

[19] Aruch Hashulchan 344:8; Gesher Hachaim p. 119; Nitei Gavriel 67:6; 135:15

[20] See Michaber 353:4 “Two men and a woman”; Beis Meir 353; Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:26 footnote 33

[21] Erech Shaiy Y.D.; Even Yaakov 11; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[22] Beis Yosef 367 in name of Kol Bo, brought in Beir Hagoleh 367 and Beis Hillel 367; Gittin 61a; Shevet Yehuda 361; Aruch Hashulchan 367:1; Mahariy Assad Y.D. 369; Nitei Gavriel 67:11

[23] Chaim Bayad 125:49; Nitei Gavriel 67:11

[24] Meoros Nasan 109; Nitei Gavriel 67:11

[25] Shach 335:2 in name of Bach; Nitei Gavriel 67:8-9

[26] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[27] Nitei Gavriel 67:10

[28] Nitei Gavriel 65:34 based on Michaber 343:1

[29] Nitei Gavriel 67:4 in name of Yad Eliyahu 54 and Minchas Elazar 4:2

[30] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 21 “If for whatever reason one could not escort the deceased, he should at least pray on his mercy, invoking Divine mercy and say 2-3 chapters of Tehillim.”; Nitei Gavriel 67:1

[31] Yifei Laleiv 7:361; Nitei Gavriel 67:5

[32] Michaber 361:1; Kesubos 17a-b

[33] Shach 361:1 in name of Poskim; Bach 361, brought in Shach 361:5

[34] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[35] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[36] This means that the person knows the Tanach and Mishneh. [Implication of Michaber ibid] or means that he knows either Tanach or Mishneh. [Shach 361:2 in implication of Rama, Beis Yosef and Ritva]

[37] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[38] The reason: As just as the Torah was given with 600,000 people present, so too it is to be returned with 600,000 people present. [Shach 361:3]

[39] Ten people are needed for the recital of Kaddish and Birchas Aveilim. [Shach 361:4]

[40] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[41] Michaber ibid

[42] Michaber ibid, as explained in Taz 361:1 and Shach 361:5 that it is going on an unlearned person

[43] Opinion in Rama ibid; Semag; Beis Yosef in name of Ritva; See Aruch Hashulchan 361:3 that this depends on each generation; See Ahavas Chesed 3:5

[44] Rama ibid

[45] Taz 361:1

[46] Tur in name of Rosh; 1^st opinion in Michaber ibid; Regarding the wife of a Torah scholar see: Shulchan Gavoa 361:8; Rashal Kesubos 2:5; Mateh Moshe; Drashos Maharil; Nitei Gavriel 66:4 footnote 5

[47] Ramban in Toras Hadam; 2nd opinion in Michaber ibid

[48] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[49] See Halacha C in Q&A that the obligation only applies if one sees the funeral procession, and not simply if one hears of it.

[50] Michaber ibid

[51] Aruch Hashulchan 361:3

[52] Michaber ibid; See Tzitz Eliezer 7:49-3 who suggests that until age 20 one has a status of Tinokes Shel Beis Raban

The reason: As we do not nullify children from learning even in order to build a Shul. [Shach 361:6]

[53] Salmas Chaim Y.D. 418; Gesher Hachaim p. 129; Nitei Gavriel 66:7

[54] Michaber 361:2; Shach 361:5 [See Aguda and Bach mentioned there]

[55] Michaber 361:1

The reason: As one can assume that there are others [who are not in the midst of Torah learning] who are dealing with the needs of the deceased. [Tur, brought in Shach 361:5

[56] Michaber ibid that only regarding Melacha one must nullify if there are no Chaburos in the city

[57] Michaber 361:4; Tur 361 in name of Maharitz Geios and Yerushalmi; Kitzur SHU”A 198:8; Nitei Gavriel 67:3

Within four Amos of the deceased: Some Poskim write that the above obligation to stand only applies within four Amos of the deceased. [Shevet Yehuda 361; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 4] Others, however, write it applies even outside of four Amos, so long as one can see the carrying of the deceased. [Yosef Ometz p. 326; Setimas Haposkim]

[58] The reason: As one is obligated to stand in honor of a person fulfilling a Mitzvah, and when a funeral is taking place all the participants are fulfilling the Mitzvah of Gemilus Chassadim. [Taz ibid; Tur ibid; Yerushalmi ibid]

[59] Implication of Taz 361:2 based on story in Moed Katan; Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:3 based on Taz ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is not required to stand in the presence of a deceased scholar. [Yad Eliyahu 54, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid]

[60] Taz ibid based on Tur ibid; Yerushalmi ibid

[61] Ben Ish Chaiy Ki Seitzei 2:19

[62] Michaber 343:1 and 361:2; Darkei Chesed 16:4

[63] The reason: As such a distinction was only made regarding one who is learning Torah. [Michaber 361:2]

[64] Michaber 343:1 and 361:2; Aruch Hashulchan 343:3; Minchas Elazar 3:26; Nitei Gavriel 67:2

[65] See Besi Lechem Yehuda 343

[66] Nitei Gavriel 67:2

[67] Emek Sheila Sheilasa 14:3 based on Elya Raba; Chelkas Mechokek E.H. 65:2 regarding Kallah; Minchas Elazar 1:26; Sheilas David; Daas Kedoshim 343:4; Even Yaakov 21; Tzitz Eliezer 7:49; Salmas Chaim 420; Nitei Gavriel 65:1; 66:5 footnote 6; Michaber 361:3 states “One who sees the Meis”

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is obligated to attend the funeral even if he simply knows of the funeral and does not see it. [Beis Shmuel E.H. 65:3; Emek Habracha p. 134; Shaareiy Deiah 361; See Miseches Semachos 11]

[68] It is not clear from Poskim if one must see the actual body or seeing the procession suffices to obligate participation. Nitei Gavriel 65 footnote 4 leaves this matter with a Tzaruch Iyun.

[69] Michaber 360:1

[70] The reason: As a Mitzvah for the living precedes a Mitzvah for the dead. [Shach 360:1]

[71] Michaber 359:1

[72] See Michaber 359:1; Admur Shemiras Haguf 10; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 10; Nitei Gavriel 65:1

[73] Michaber 359:1

[74] Beis Hillel 359 in his understanding of Michaber 359:2; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 10 that so is custom of some communities; Teshuvah Meahava 3:359; Nehar Mitzrayim 44; Eretz Chaim 359; See glosses of Beis Lechem Yehuda; Shevet Halevi 2:212; Nitei Gavriel 68:2

[75] So is the widespread custom today, Vetzaruch Iyun, as it is clear from Eretz Chaim ibid as well as Gesher Hachaim that women would attend the funeral.

[76] Eretz Chaim ibid in name of Vayikra Avraham p. 126 that “In Tzefas the custom is that the women do not attend the funeral at all, not in front of the body or behind it, and even the women who are standing outside enter their homes while the body is being carried.”

[77] Beis Hillel 359; See Halacha 4!

[78] Igros Kodesh 31 printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:265 in reply to Rav Ushpal’s suggestion of banning women from attending funerals that “This is not the custom in Chabad and that he should not enter such Chumros into Chabad”

[79] Rav Leibel Groner in reply to the author

[80] Rav Leibel Groner ibid; See Mavor Yabok ibid “The widespread custom in all of Eretz Yisrael that at first the men go, and they appoint guards to prevent any of the women from passing until all the men leave. After the burial, the women remain there for approximately 15 minutes until all the men have left.”

[81] Michaber 359:2; Shach 359:2; See Beis Hillel 359; Gesher Hachaim; Nitei Gavriel 68:5

[82] So understands Shach ibid in Michaber ibid, in order to avoid a contradiction between Michaber 359:1 and 2. However, Beis Hillel 359 understands that Halacha 1 refers to the Talmudic law, while Halacha 2 refers to the Zoharic ruling, which is that the women are not to attend the funeral at all, even prior to the burial

[83] The reason: As doing so causes danger to the world. [Shach ibid]

[84] Beis Hillel 359; See Halacha 4!

[85] Beis Lechem Yehuda 359 in name of Beis Yaakov

[86] Rav Leibel Groner and Rav Eliyahu Landau in reply to the author

[87] Rabbanim and Poskim ibid

[88] See Minchas Yitzchak 10:42; Nitei Gavriel Volume 1 67:7 and Volume 2 84:4

[89] Pashut as there is no source for forbidding it, and so is proved from the fact the Poskim [below] bring that even the wife of a Kohen that is pregnant may enter a cemetery, and as writes the Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343/4] that even by the pregnant wife of a Kohen those who are stringent are doing Minhag Borus [custom of ignorance], hence certainly the wife of a Yisrael is allowed.

[90] This custom has no known source. A number of possible reasons are suggested: 1) Perhaps this is due to the fact that it is proper for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to avoid a cemetery, and hence we see that the fetus can receive impurity. Now since we await the rebuilding of the Temple every day the women avoid going to a cemetery, as if the Temple is rebuilt while they are still pregnant they will be able to give over their pure sons to perform the necessary actions required for the Para Aduma. [Minchas Yitzchak ibid; See Parah Mishneh 3/2] 2) Alternatively, it is because they desire to avoid any impurity during the pregnancy. [Nitei Gavriel ibid; See Sheivet Hamussar 24]

[91] Poskim ibid based on Rashba that we do not differ a tradition received from righteous women even if we have 600,000 proofs against it. [brought in Heishiv Moshe 13]

[92] Heard from Rav Asher Lemel HaCohen

[93] See Pnei Baruch 4:14; Nitei Gavriel chapter 69 for a full analysis on this subject

[94] See Michaber 340:16; Rama 358:3; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 28 that from the fact that the sons of the forefathers buried them we see it is a great merit for the sons to be involved in the burial of their father; Maharil Hilchos Semachos that he and his son carried the body of his wife; Mishpitei Uziel Tinayna 3:126 that there is no source for the custom to abstain; Igros Kodesh 20:79; Shulchan Menachem 5:152

[95] See Igros Moshe 5:24; Keser Shem Tov Gagin 2:662 that the sons should escort the father and only certain communities abstained; Nitei Gavriel 69:1 and 3 footnote 7

[96] Shlah Pesachim 103 in name of Rikanti in Taamei Hamitzvos; Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 17; Yesod Yosef 13a; Gesher Hachaim 1:12 [custom of Jerusalem]; Custom mentioned in Igros Moshe 5:24; This was accustomed in many communities, to the point that a Cherem would be announced prior to the funeral against any descendants attending the procession. So was the custom by the Shulchan Gavoa; Or Hachaim Hakadaosh; Chida; Rashash; See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2-5 for many Gedolei Yisrael who followed this custom

The reason: In order not to invite to the funeral the souls that derived from the father’s spillage of seed in vain. [Zohar Bereishis 54; Shaar Hakavanos 56b]

May they go in front of the casket? In Sefer Haminhagim p. 177 it states they are not to follow the casket, however in the Nussach of the Cherem [of Sdei Chemed] it explicitly states they are not to go in front, in back or by the sides, of the casket, and hence they are not to attend at all, and are rather to go straight to the cemetery before the funeral procession begins. [Igros Kodesh 20:79; Shulchan Menachem 5:152]

[97] This is the widespread custom, as brought in Igros Kodesh 20:79; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 69:2 footnote 6; However, see there that some are accustomed that the descendants do not even go to the cemetery; See Pnei Baruch 4:14

[98] Sefer Haminhagim p. 177 [English]; See Igros Kodesh 20:79; Shulchan Menachem 5:152

[99] Pnei Baruch 4:14; See Nitei Gavriel 69:2

[100] Rav Leibel Groner in reply to the author; Rav Eli Landau, in name of his father; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 69:2 footnote 6 and 69:6 in name of Gesher Hachaim

[101] Rav Eli Landau, in name of his father Rav Yaakov Landau

[102] Mishpitei Uziel Tinyana 120; Nitei Gavriel 69:4

[103] Sefer Haminhagim p. 177 [English]; See Igros Kodesh 20:79; Shulchan Menachem 5:152

[104] Pnei Baruch 4:14; Nitei Gavriel 69:5

[105] See Nitei Gavriel ibid

[106] Sefer Haminhagim p. 177 [English]; See Shulchan Menachem 5:264 that the Rebbe told a descendent not to follow the funeral of his grandmother, and that so was told to Rav Groner. However, see Hiskashrus 309:19 that the Rebbe followed the casket of his mother in 1975. See Nitei Gavriel 69:7 footnote 13 in name of a number of Gedolim

Regarding if women are command against Zera Levatala: See Mishneh and Gemara Nida 13a; Rashi and Rabbeinu Chananel brought in Tosfos Rosh on Nidda 13a; Ramban Nidda ibid; Shut Tzafnas Paneiach [Rogatchaver] 164; Shaar Hakavanos Inyan Drush Layla; Yifei Laleiv 239; Kaf Hachaim 239:3

[107] Nitei Gavriel 69:7 in name of Nachamu Ami and that so is custom in Jerusalem

[108] Rama 358:3; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 28; See Nitei Gavriel 64:6

[109] Darkei Chesed 11:7 [p. 58]; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 11 in name of many Poskim and that so is custom

[110] Darkei Chesed ibid

[111] Gesher Hachaim p. 112; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[112] Opinion in Rama 374:11; Minhag brought in Kol Bo 114; Rivash 95

[113] Rama ibid; Beis Yosef 374; Rivash ibid; Kol Bo ibid regarding non-Bechoros

[114] Rama ibid; Aruch Hashulchan 374:19; See Nitei Gavriel 69:8

[115] Michaber 361:5; Moed Katan 25a

[116] Literally “Shildo”. A Sheled is a skeleton. See Rashi Nidda 27b who translates it as “Gufo Kayam and he appears whole”

[117] Nitei Gavriel 65:34 based on Michaber 343:1

[118] Nitei Gavriel 65:35

[119] Rama 358:2; Admur 72:2; M”B 72:6; See Pnei Baruch 4:1

[120] Admur ibid

[121] Admur ibid

[122] Michaber 354:1

[123] Pnei Baruch 4:12

[124] The reason: As once the first person dies, he has an obligation of burial which precedes the obligation of the second deceased. Alternatively, the first person to decease is preceded in order to prevent erosion of the body. [See Bris Avraham 14; Pischeiy Teshuvah 354:1]

[125] Tashbeitz 2:41; Rav Akiva Eiger 354:1

[126] Michaber ibid; See there regarding a scholar versus an ignoramus

[127] Shach 354:2

[128] Michaber 361:3; Tur 361 in name of Rosh and Rabbeinu Yona; Rashal Kesubos 2:5

[129] Chareidim 6; Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 1; Shevet yehuda 361; Yad Eliyahu 53; Yifei Laleiv 361; Minchas Elazar 4:2; Ahavas Chesed 3:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:4 footnote 6

[130] Ahavas Chesed 3:5

[131] China Vechisda Kesubos 17a; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:4 footnote 6

[132] Yad Eliyahu 24, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:2; See Shach 361:4; Ahavas Chesed 3:5

[133] See Leket Yosher 2:88; Rashal Kesubos 2:5; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 190; Gesher Hachaim p. 131; Nitei Gavriel 65:24 footnote 31

[134] Nitei Gavriel 65:3 in name of Yosef Ometz

[135] Seder Hillel Hazakein brought in Lechem Hapanim 362:4; Nitei Gavriel 45:19; 49:12

[136] Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 18; Mishmeres Shalom Nun 32; Darkei Chaim Vehsalom 25; Gesher Hachaim p. 130; Darkei Chesed p. 63; Nitei Gavriel 65:10 footnote 13

[137] Darkei Chesed ibid

[138] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[139] Michaber 361:4; Tur 361 in name of Maharitz Geios and Yerushalmi

[140] The reason: As one is obligated to stand in honor of a person fulfilling a Mitzvah, and when a funeral is taking place all the participants are fulfilling the Mitzvah of Gemilus Chassadim. [Taz ibid; Tur ibid; Yerushalmi ibid]

[141] Implication of Taz 361:2 based on story in Moed Katan; Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:3 based on Taz ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is not required to stand in the presence of a deceased scholar. [Yad Eliyahu 54, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid]

[142] Taz ibid based on Tur ibid; Yerushalmi ibid

[143] Ben Ish Chaiy Ki Seitzei 2:19

[144] Michaber 344:16; Brachos 3b; Taz 344:5 “Speaking in the presence of the deceased is only permitted out of respect for him, however speech that is not said out of respect for the deceased is certainly forbidden.”

[145] Shach 344:11 in name of Mordechai end of Moed Katan; Beir Hagoleh in name of Mordechai; Beir Heiytiv 344:8; Elya Raba 1:4; M”B 45:2 in name of Ateres Zekeinim; This opinion is omitted from Admur ibid; See Shvus Yaakov 3:8 in name of Rashba, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 1:2 that the custom is not to be careful against walking four Amos being people consider the entire house as four Amos.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even in a single room, words of Torah is permitted at a distance of four Amos from the body. [M”B ibid in name of Magen Giborim]

[146] Shach 344:11 in name of Bach; See Taz 344:5

Other opinions: It is implied from Michaber ibid that it is permitted to speak mundane matters in his presence, even within four cubits. [Shach ibid]

[147] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 65:19 footnote 26

[148] Taz 344:5

[149] 343:2

[150] Michaber 343:2; Ramban Toras Hadam; Miseches Semachos

[151] Aruch Hashulchan 343:4

[152] Salmas Chaim 417; Gesher Hachaim p. 130; Darkei Chesed p. 62; Even Yaakov 55; Nitei Gavriel 65:12 and 15 footnote 17; See Sefer Chassidim 741

[153] Rama ibid; Terumos Hadeshen 2:25in name of Sefer Chassidim

[154] Shach 343:3; Terumos Hadeshen 25 in name of Sefer Chassidim

[155] Besi Lechem Yehuda 3243; See Rama 385:1

The reason: As the greetings of today are not considered like the greetings of back then. [Beis Lechem Yehuda; See Rama ibid] This is not a justifiable reason, as according to this reason one should be able to greet the mourners even within Shloshim, and we have not found any Posek who is lenient in this matter. [Shach 385:2; See also M”A 554:21; Rav Akiva Eiger 385:1] Some Poskim however justify this custom based on the fact that majority of today’s greetings do not involve saying the word Shalom but rather simply good morning and the like, and these greetings are not prohibited under Sheilas Shalom. [Beir Heiytiv 385:2 and Gilyon Maharsha ibid based on Admur 89:3 and Beis Yosef in name of Riy; Likewise, the Darkei Moshe 89 states that it is only considered Shalom if one mentions Hashem’s name] This allowance however only applies after the Shloshim. [See Elya Raba O.C. 554:20; See Q&A!]

[156] Beis Lechem Yehuda ibid in name of M”A 554:21; See previous footnote

[157] Elya Raba O.C. 554:20; See Beir Heiytiv 385:2 in previous footnote!

[158] Michaber 344:16

[159] Shach 344:11 in implication of Michaber ibid; Bach 344; Taz 344:5; Tur in name of Rav Haiy Gaon

[160] Michaber 344:17; Nimukei Yosef; Shach ibid in name of Bach and that so is custom

[161] Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 42 in name of Poskim; Nitei Gavriel 10:8 footnote 15

[162] Michaber 358:1; O.C. 72:1; Admur 72:1; Mishneh Brachos 17b; Nitei Gavriel 64:11

[163] The reason: As one who is involved in fulfilling a Mitzvah is exempt from other Mitzvos. [Shach 358:1]

[164] Admur ibid

[165] Admur 106:1; 72:1; Michaber 106:1; Mishneh Brachos 17b; Nitei Gavriel 64:11

[166] Admur 23:4; Michaber 23:3

[167] Michaber 358:3

[168] Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 358

[169] Taz 358:1

[170] Shach 358:3

[171] Taz 358:1

[172] Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 358

[173] Beis Lechem Yehuda 358

[174] M”A 526:21 and Taz 526:6 in name of Midrash; Lechem Hapanim 375; Chochmas Adam 170:5; Kitzur SHU”A 200:7; M”B 526:52; Nitei Gavriel 71:1

[175] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[176] Mor Uketzia, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[177] Shaareiy Teshuvah 526; Misgeres Hashulchan 200:3

[178] The reason: As the verse states “Lo Sochlu Al Hadam,” which means that one should not eat until the person is buried. [Poskim ibid]

[179] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[180] Daas Kedoshim Y.D. 343; Nitei Gavriel 71:2-3

[181] Taz 364:1; See also Chochmas Adam 158:12; Nitei Gavriel 75:8

[182] Taz ibid; Rashal in understanding of Hagahos Ashri, brought in Taz ibid, that it is forbidden to step on it as it is forbidden in benefit; Yad Eliyahu 54, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2, that it is only permitted for the sake of a Mitzvah; Kitzur SHU”A ibid

The reason: Some Poskim explain that it is forbidden to step on a grave being that it is forbidden in benefit. [Rashal in understanding of Hagahos Ashri, brought in Taz ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid] Other Poskim explain that although there is no real benefit received from standing on it, as it is easier to stand on solid ground then on a grave. Nevertheless, standing on a grave is not respectful to the dead, and is hence only permitted for the sake of a Mitzvah. [Yad Eliyahu 54; Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2]

[183] Rashbam on Bava Basra 101, brought in Taz ibid

The reason: Although a grave is forbidden in benefit, there is no real benefit received from stepping on it, as it is easier to walk on solid ground then over a grave. Nevertheless, walking on a grave is not respectful to the dead, and is hence only permitted for the sake of a Mitzvah. [Yad Eliyahu 54; Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2]

[184] Kesav Sofer Y.D. 109; Levushei Mordechai Tinyana Y.D. 138; Nitei Gavriel 75:9

[185] Taz ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the allowance to step on a grave is only if it is for the need of a Mitzvah. [Yad Eliyahu 54; Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2]

[186] 1^st opinion in Rama 364:1

[187] Implication of Taz ibid that only a temporary walk over is permitted; However, see Yad Eliyahu 54, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 364:2, who implies that even standing on a grave for the sake of a Mitzvah is permitted.

[188] Admur Shemiras Haguf 10; Brachos 51a; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 10; See Shach 359:2; Nitei Gavriel 68:2

[189] The reason: As the angel of death dances and walks in front of the women, and he has permission to cause them damage, as he ascends and prosecutes and descends and takes another life. [Admur ibid; Gemara ibid; Zohar Vayakhel 196]

[190] Admur ibid “And the same applies when they are escorting the body”; The Poskim learn that the main prohibition and danger is specifically when the women return from the burial, although it also slightly applies during the funeral. [See Kitzur SHU”A 198:10; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 68 footnote 9]

[191] Daas Kedoshim 343:3; Nitei Gavriel 68:6

[192] Beis Lechem Yehuda 359 in name of Beis Yaakov 72; Nitei Gavriel 68:5

[193] Admur ibid does not differentiate between the two; See also Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 68:7 footnote 14

[194] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 10 “The widespread custom in all of Eretz Yisrael that at first the men go, and they appoint guards to prevent any of the women from passing until all the men leave. After the burial, the women remain there for approximately 15 minutes until all the men have left.”

[195] Admur ibid; Zohar ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 68:4 footnote 11

[196] See Nitei Gavriel Chapter 72-74

Funeral procession for a Chasan or Kallah who passed away: If a Kallah passed away, some are accustomed to undo her hair [if it is braided]. If a Chasan passed away, they reveal his face and place ink and a quill near their body [to show that they would have had a Kesuba written for them if they were alive-Beis Hillel 350]. They also place the key of the deceased, and a journal of his, near the body. All this is done out of Agmas Nefesh [expression of distress]. A Chuppah is done for the Chasan and Kallah and non-food materials are hung on the canopy, however not foods due to them becoming forbidden in benefit [and one thus transgresses Bal Tashchis]. [Michaber 350:1; Braisa in Miseches Semachos] The above actions do not contain the prohibition of Darkei Emori. [Title of chapter 350] Practically, we are no longer accustomed to do any of the above matters, and we prevent those who desire to swerve from the custom. [Shach 350:1; Bach 350]

[197] The concept of a memorial service is recorded in numerous areas, starting with the Mitzvah to eulogize the deceased, as discussed in chapter 7 in legnth. It was common practice, back then, for the body to be placed on a bed and brought to the middle of the street for where the speeches, and procession would take place. Seemingly, the corresponding practice for this today is to hold the service in a memorial home.

Memorial service for women: One does not leave a deceased woman in middle of the street [during the memorial service], due to her honor [Michaber 355:1; Mishneh Moed Katan 27a] as she can become dishonored [Shach 355:1] if she expels blood. [Aruch Hashulchan 355:1] Vetzaruch Iyun as to how this Halacha is implemented today regarding memorial services, in which the custom is to have also the body of a deceased woman present.

[198] Nitei Gavriel 76:24 that it is Biblically forbidden due to Bechukoseihem Lo Seileichu

[199] Chabad custom and custom and ruling of Rebbe, brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6 and 76 footnote 1

Other customs: See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7 that some Rishonim rule the Keriah is to be done at the time of the actual burial. See also Nitei Gavriel 76:1 that in fact the custom of most of Jewry is to do so at the time of burial.

[200] Darkei Chesed p. 266

[201] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 2 regarding time of burial; Darkei Chesed 15:6 that so is custom of Jewry; Nitei Gavriel 77:11; Custom of Rebbe Rashab; Will of Shelah and Rav Akiva Eiger, to distribute charity by their funeral.

[202] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 7; Sifsei Rinanos 23; Printed in Darkei Chesed page 268 as part of Seder Levaya; Nitei Gavriel 72:1 footnote 2

[203] Gesher Hachaim 2:8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 72:1 footnote 1

[204] On the one hand, it is evident from Darkei Chesed ibid that we do say it; Likewise, Rav Eliyahu Landau Shlita replied to me that he is unaware of any custom in Chabad to not say this prayer. However, see Igros Kodesh 3:7, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:308, that is not said in the first year; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg and Rav Levi Garelik write that it is not customary amongst Anash to say it at all, neither by the funeral or any later time, although the Rebbe did instruct it to be said on one occasion; See Hiskashrus 465;

[205] Nitei Gavriel 72:5

[206] Nitei Gavriel 72:6

[207] Tzitz Eliezer 16:35; Nitei Gavriel 72:9

[208] See Mishneh Sachir Y.D. 237; Nitei Gavriel 72:2

[209] Chaim Sheol 71; Nitei Gavriel 72:7

[210] Nitei Gavriel 72:4

[211] Rama 358:3; Tur in name of Ramban, brought in Shach 359:1

[212] Gesher Hachaim 12:4 [p. 114]; Nitei Gavriel 50:7

[213] Rav Levi Garelik

[214] Beis Lechem Yehuda 362 in name of Tzavah of Rav Yehuda Hachassid 8; Rokeiach 316; Rabbeinu Yerucham 28:1; Aruch Hashulchan 358:5; Kitzur SHU”A 197:8; Pnei Baruch 4:15

[215] See Makor Chesed on Tzavah 8; Shivim Temarim on Tzavah ibid

[216] Aruch Hashulchan 358:5 in name of Beir Heiytiv; Nitei Gavriel 50:3

[217] See Pnei Baruch 4:16; Nitei Gavriel 50:1

Upon doing so one says: “הפח נשבר ואנחנו נמלטנו ולא יהיה עוד שבר בגבול ישראל”.

[218] Darkei Chesed 15:1

[219] Nitei Gavriel 50:6

[220] Mavor Yabok Sifsie Tzedek 7; Nitei Gavriel 50:5; Rav Levi Garelik that so is custom

[221] Nitei Gavriel 65:3 in name of Yosef Ometz

[222] Bach 361 in name of Rokeiach; See Shach 358:3 that the custom is for all to participate; Darkei Chesed 15:2; Nitei Gavriel 64:1

[223] Rama 358:3; Tur in name of Ramban, brought in Shach 359:1; Nitei Gavriel 64:6

[224] Shach 359:1 in name of Bach

[225] Seder Hillel Hazakein brought in Lechem Hapanim 362:4; Nitei Gavriel 45:19; 49:12; 64:5

[226] Radbaz 2:507 regarding Taharah; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 7; Darkei Chesed 11:1 in name of Harechitza Hagedola of Hillel Hazakein, brought in Lechem Hapanim 352:4 [not found in source]; Nitei Gavriel 40:2; 64:5

[227] Sefer Chassidim 533 “in the Kever”; Beis Lechem Yehuda 362; Rav Akiva Eiger 362; Makor Chesed on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 40:3

[228] Rama 358:3; Rambam Avel 14:1; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 15; See Kesav Sofer Y.D. 175; Gesher Hachaim p. 115; Darkei Chesed 15:2; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 64:2-3

[229] See Kesav Sofer ibid; Tuv Taam Vadas 2:235; Mahariy Halevi 172; Maharam Shick 351; Nitei Gavriel 64 footnote 4

[230] Nehar Mitzraim 40

[231] Kesav Sofer ibid; Nehar Mitzrayim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[232] Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 18; Mishmeres Shalom Nun 32; Darkei Chaim Vehsalom 25; Gesher Hachaim p. 130; Darkei Chesed p. 63; Nitei Gavriel 65:10 footnote 13; Rav Levi Garelik that so is custom

[233] Darkei Chesed ibid

[234] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[235] Darkei Chesed p. 267; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg;

[236] Rav Levi Garelik

[237] Gesher Hachaim 1:70; Siddur Torah Or p. 200; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg; Unlike Darkei Chesed p. 266 who omits this verse

[238] Darkei Chesed 15:4; Nitei Gavriel 64:9

[239] Gesher Hachaim 12:4 [p. 114]; Nitei Gavriel 50:7

[240] Directive of Rav Yaakov Landau, and so is the custom of many

[241] Rav Levi Garelik

[242] Seder Birchas Hanehnin 13/11; Michaber 224:12; Alef Hamagen 581/109; This applies likewise by a Levaya: Chochmas Adam 158:33; Kitzur SHU”A 198:13; Darkei Chesed p. 268; Kinyan Torah 3:27; Nitei Gavriel 73:1

Other opinions regarding Levaya: Some rule that those attending the Levaya are not to recite this blessing, as one who is involved in a Mitzvah is exempt from another Mitzvah. [Asher Avraham Butchach 224; Gesher Hachaim p. 3; See Nitei Gavriel 73:1 footnote 4; Minchas Shlomo 1:91-25 rules to say it after the burial] The majority of Poskim and Sefarim negate this ruling, and so is the widespread custom to recite it. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 4]

Chol Hamoed: Some are not accustomed to reciting this blessing if the burial is taking place during Chol Hamoed. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 1]

[243] If one saw a different cemetery within thirty days: If one saw a different cemetery within thirty days of seeing the previous cemetery and consequently recital of the blessing, then the blessing is not to be repeated. This applies even if the second cemetery is in a different city. [Admur Seder and Luach ibid]

[244] Seder 13/13; Luach 12/19; Michaber 224/13; Tur and Rosh; Tosfos Brachos 54a

[245] Saying outside versus inside the cemetery: Although it is forbidden to recite the blessing while inside the cemetery or within four Amos of a grave due to Loeg Larash [See Michaber Y.D. 367:3 and 6] nevertheless, the Poskim rule that this blessing may and should be recited specifically within the cemetery, and may be said even within four Amos of the grave. [Ashel Avraham Butchach 224; Aruch Hashulchan 224:8; Likkutei Maharich Seder Brachos; Birchas Habayis 29:8; Gesher Hachaim p. 311; Tzitz Eliezer 7:49; Betzeil Hachochma 3:40; Beir Moshe 2:13; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:80; Piskeiy Teshuvos 224:10; Nitei Gavriel 73:3 footnote 8]

[246] Kaf Hachaim 224:37 in name of Ashel Avraham; Pnei Baruch Onen 12; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 73:1 footnote 5

Other customs: See other customs brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid.

The reason: As before the burial the Onen is exempt from all Mitzvos and after the burial, since he was exempt at the original sighting, he remains exempt afterwards as well. [Poskim ibid]

[247] The following additional Nussach is added in Maaneh Lashon and so bring some Poskim [see Kitzur Shu”a 198:13; Darkei Chesed p. 268; Nitei Gavriel 73:2]

אתה גיבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה, רב להושיע מכלכל חיים בחסד מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחייה ומצמיח ישועה: ונאמן אתה להחיות מתים.

[248] Rama 358:3; Lechem Hapanim 376; Chochmas Adam 157:8; Kitzur SHU”A 198:2; Recorded in many Sefarim brought in Nitei Gavriel 73 footnotes 28-31; See Nitei Gavriel 73:14-19; Omitted from Mavor Yabok; Nehar Mitzrayim records that in Egypt the custom is not to do any Mamados.

[249] Shach 358:4; Karban Shabbos 7; Nitei Gavriel 73 footnote 28; These stops also bring slight atonement to the deceased. [Kitzur SHU”A 198:2]

[250] Rama ibid that so is custom; Lechem Hapanim 376 in name of Maaneh Lashon; Many Sefarim recorded in Nitei Gavriel 73 footnote 31

[251] Shevet Yehuda 358; Chochmas Adam 157:8; Kitzur SHU”A ibid; Misgeres Hashulchan 358; Darkei Chesed p. 270; Nitei Gavriel 73:14 footnote 29; Rav Levi Garelik that so is the custom also in Crown Heights

The reason: The seven stops correspond to the seven Hevelim of Koheles, the seven chambers of Gehinnom, and the seven judgments that the deceased must pass. [Chochmas Adam 157:8; Kitzur SHU”A ibid]

[252] Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 7 and Sifsei Rinanos 15 record saying Yosheiv Biseiser while carrying the body for burial; However, the saying of Yosheiv Beseiser by the Mamados, and saying it seven times is not recorded in the Sefarim, although so is the custom, and is based on the custom recorded in Rama 376:4 to say Yosheiv Beseiser 7 times after the burial to banish the evil spirits. [Nitei Gavriel 73:14 footnote 31]

Custom of Jerusalem: In Yerushalayim, the custom is not to be particular in the number of Mamados stops that are made, and rather each time the procession passes a Shul they stop and say the Mishneh of Akavya Ben Mihalalel, part of Tziduk Hadin, and Kaddish. If there are no Shuls in the path to the burial, then they stop two to three times prior to entering the cemetery. [Gesher Hachaim p. 133; Nitei Gavriel 73:19]

[253] Nitei Gavriel 73:14

[254] Darkei Chesed p. 270; Nitei Gavriel 73:16 and Poskim brought in footnote 29

[255] Rama ibid; Shach 358:4; Lechem Hapanim 375; Chochmas Adam 157:8; Kitzur SHU”A 198:12; Darkei Chesed p. 270; Nitei Gavriel 73:16

[256] The reason: As on such days, the evil spirits are not as commonly found. [Shach 358:4]

[257] Nitei Gavriel 73:16 that so is the custom, based on Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 7 and Sifsei Rinanos 15 record saying Yosheiv Biseiser while carrying the body for burial; See there footnote 38 for other opinions and customs

[258] Nitei Gavriel 73:16 and footnote 37 based on the fact that Tziduk Hadin and Tachanun is not recited at night; See there footnote 38 for other opinions and customs

[259] Darkei Chesed p. 269-270 that custom is not to do Mamados for women, however some do; Nitei Gavriel 73:17 that custom of most is to do for women

[260] Nitei Gavriel 73:15

[261] So writes Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 33; See Darkei Chesed p. 270 “When the casket is carried to the grave”

[262] See Nitei Gavriel 74:1-13

[263] The custom is recorded in the following Sefarim: Tzeroro Hamur Parshas Bereishis and Tazria that so instructed Chazal; Shach Al Hatorah Ki Seitzei; Seder Rechitza of Hillel Hazakein; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 7; Sifsei Rinanos 17; Magen David of Radbaz p. 46; Kneses Hagedola 357; Lechem Hapanim 375; Misgeres Hashulchan 376:4; Chaim Sheol 2:25; Siddur Beis Oved p. 373; Rav Poalim 2:2; Will of the Emek Hamelech printed in the introduction of his Sefer; Manuscript of Rav Yehuda Chalvah called Tzafnas Paneiach; Yalkut Meiam Loez Parshas Vayechi; Gesher Hachaim 1:135

The reason: This is done to banish the evil spirits that were created through the sin of Zera Levatala and become attracted to the deceased. [Tzeroro Hamor ibid; Mavor Yabok ibid; Sefarim brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 1] It gives great appeasement to the soul of the deceased. [Misgeres Hashulchan ibid]

How many people are to encircle the body: Some write that there must be at least ten men present [and encircling] during the performance of Hakafos. Others write that three men suffice. [See Nitei Gavriel 74:13]

Who should do the Hakafos: Some write that only married men who have immersed in a Mikveh should perform the Hakafos. [See Gesher Hachaim 1:135; Nitei Gavriel 74:11 footnote 24]

How is the Hakafos to be done: Some write that one must be very careful during the encircling that the people are close to each other in a way that there is no air between them. [See Nitei Gavriel 74:10 footnote 23]

[264] Misgeres Hashulchan 376:4 in name of Ramaz; Ikarei Hadat 35:19; Gesher Hachaim p. 137; Nitei Gavriel 74:9

Other customs: Some are accustomed to do so in the funeral home prior to the start of the funeral procession. [See Mavor Yabok Sifsei Tzedek 7; Sifsei Rinanos 17; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 19]

[265] Or Tzadikim; See Nitei Gavriel 74 footnote 1 for the exact order in which this is recited

[266] Seder Rechitza of Hillel Hazakein; Mishpitei Uziel Tinyana 1:6-3; Nitei Gavriel 74:2 footnote 3 that so is custom today of most Chevra Kadisha’s

[267] See Nitei Gavriel 74:3 footnote 5

[268] Darkei Chesed p. 369 that he never saw this done by the Chevra Kadisha’s and it is not the Chabad custom to do so; Nitei Gavriel 74:3 footnote 5 that so is Minhag Chabad; Rav Levi Garelik

[269] So is also the custom of Square Chassidim

[270] Mavor Yabok ibid; Siddur Beis Oveid; Gesher Hachaim p. 137; Nitei Gavriel 74:6

The reason: As it is done to banish the evil spirits created due to Zera Levatala, which is not relevant to women. [Gesher Hachaim ibid]

Other customs: Some are accustomed to performing Hakafos even on women. [Minhag Square; See Nitei Gavriel 74:3 footnote 7]

[271] Gesher Hachaim ; Nitei Gavriel 74:4

[272] Tzavah of Emek Hamelech ibid; Misgeres Hashulchan 376:2; Chaim Sheol 2:25; Siddur Beis Oved p. 373; Rav Poalim 2:2; Nitei Gavriel 74:7 footnote 14

Other customs: Some are accustomed to performing Hakafos at night. [See Chaim Bayad 98; Yaskil Avdi 4:2; Mishmeres Shalom 23; Nitei Gavriel 74:7 footnote 15]

[273] Ikarei Hadar 35:18; Gesher Hachaim p. 137; Nitei Gavriel 74:6

Other customs: Some are accustomed to performing Hakafos even when Tachanun is omitted. [Misgeres Hashulchan 376:4; See Zera Emes 2:144; Nitei Gavriel 74:6 footnote 11-13]

[274] See Nitei Gavriel Chapter 76-78; Gesher Hachaim 16:5

[275] See Admur 526:22 “It is proper to have a Minyan by the burial”; Yad Eliyahu 24, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 361:2; Michaber 361:1; Shach 361:4; Ahavas Chesed 3:5; Darkei Chesed 16:5 that so is Minhag Yisrael

[276] See Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 7 and 76:1 footnote 1 that the Rishonim rule the Keriah is to be done at the time of the burial. There he concludes that so is the custom of most communities.

[277] Nitei Gavriel 76:3; 19

[278] Darkei Chesed p. 69 that so was custom of Russian and Lithuanian Jewry; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg and Rav Levi Garelik that so is Chabad custom

[279] Divrei Torah Telisah 60 [Munkatch]

[280] Darkei Chesed p. 69 that so was custom of Russian and Lithuanian Jewry; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg and Rav Levi Garelik that so is Chabad custom

[281] Nitei Gavriel 76:8; 26

[282] Nitei Gavriel based on Poskim in next footnote; See Admur 526:7 and Michaber 526:4 that even on Yom Tov Sheiyni, a Jew is to be involved in the entire process, and it is not to be done through a gentile even if he is available.

[283] Sefer Chassidim 533 “in the Kever”; Beis Lechem Yehuda 362; Rav Akiva Eiger 362; Makor Chesed on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 40:3

[284] See Nitei Gavriel 76:13

[285] Divrei Malkiel 5:152 that so is custom

[286] Michaber 362:2; See Bava Basra 74a

[287] The reason: It is considered a belittlement for the deceased to be buried in any other position, such as standing or sitting. [Shach 362:2]

[288] Gesher Hachaim p. 137; Darkei Chesed; Nitei Gavriel 76:6

[289] See Gesher Hachaim 16:5; Nitei Gavriel 76:10

[290] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[291] See Shach 362:1 “It is good for the body to be buried on the actual ground”; Aruch Hashulchan 362:2; Gesher Hachaim 16:1; Darkei Chesed 17:1

[292] Aruch Hashulchan 362:2 in name of Tur and Ramban; Arugas Habosem Y.D. 250; Mishneh Sachir Y.D. 2:230; Nitei Gavriel 75:1

[293] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 17; Nitei Gavriel 76:9

[294] Nitei Gavriel 76:9

[295] Maaneh Lashon; Lechem Hapanim 376; Chukeiy Daas 376:1; Chochmas Adam 158:31; Kitzur SHU”A 199:8; Darkei Chesed 17:6; Nitei Gavriel 76:7

[296] The reason: This is done to hint towards the turning over the attribute of judgement into mercy, in play of the verse “Vihafachta Mispidi Lemacho Li”

[297] Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 9

[298] Nitei Gavriel 76:7

[299] Rama 363:1 “Some are accustomed to place the earth of Eretz Yisrael in the grave. This custom has upon what to rely.”; See Gesher Hachaim 27:9; See Nitei Gavriel 76:11

[300] Kitzur SHU”A 198:2

[301] Gesher Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 49:17

[302] Gesher Hachaim ibid; Darkei Chesed 12:9; Nitei Gavriel 49:17; 76:11

[303] Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 27; Kitzur SHU”A 198:2; See Nitei Gavriel 76:11-12 for the exact order of hos this is done in the grave

[304] Shach 362:1 in name of Derisha; Zohar Vayechi; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 9; Lechem Hapanim 339; Gesher Hachaim 10:2; Nitei Gavriel 49:14; 76:13

[305] Shach 362:1 in name of Derisha; Darkei Chesed 12:9; Nitei Gavriel 49:19 regarding earthenware

[306] Darkei Chesed 12:13; See Nitei Gavriel 76:13

[307] See Sefarim in Nitei Gavriel 76:13 footnote 23

[308] See Nitei Gavriel 76:14

[309] Chasam Sofer Y.D. 327, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 352:4; Kesav Sofer Y.D. 171; Darkie Chaim Vehsalom 985; many Sefarim recorded in Nitei Gavriel 76:14 footnote 27

[310] Darkei Chesed 12:9 that our custom is not to do so; Nitei Gavriel 76:14 footnote 27 that so is Minhag Chabad

[311] See Nitei Gavriel ibid

[312] Nitei Gavriel 76:5

[313] Shach 362:2; Levush 362; Darkei Chesed 17:2

[314] See Gesher Hachaim 16:4-5; Darkei Chesed 17:2

[315] Shach 362:2; Levush 362; Darkei Chesed 17:2

[316] Nitei Gavriel 76:18 in name of Darkei Chesed and that so is the custom

[317] See Minchas Elazar 4:4; Levushei Mordechai Tinayna Y.D. 138; Sdei Chemed in Asifas Dinim Aveilus 126 [to place Petek in grave of Tzadik to pray for salvation in time of suffering]; Sefer Bris Avos 1:39 [that some Mohalim would have a list of the children they circumcised, buried with them]; Nitei Gavriel 76:31; Chikrei Minhagim 4:117; Story in Sippurei Chassidim [Zevin] p. 488; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 26] that the Rebbe Rayatz instructed for a Tzetel to be placed in the right hand of his mother, as she wrote in her will, and for her hands to be closed over it so it does not fall out.

[318] See Nitei Gavriel 77

[319] See Chochmas Adam 158:11; Kitzur SHU”A 199:12; Nitei Gavriel 76:20-22

[320] Mavor Yabok Mamar Sefas Emes 27; Sefarim in Nitei Gavriel 77:4 footnote 5

[321] Darkei Chesed 11:7; Nitei Gavriel ibid that so is custom of some; Rav Levi Garelik

[322] Nitei Gavriel 75:3; 76:27; 77:2; See Darkei Chesed p. 225; See Admur 526:7 and Michaber 526:4 that even on Yom Tov Sheiyni, a Jew is to be involved in the entire process, and it is not to be done through a gentile even if he is available.

[323] In the case where there are not enough men for this task, the casket must be at least completely covered with earth before allowing gentile cemetery workers to finish the job. However, see Darkei Chesed ibid that gentiles should not be used at all, and hence the Jews should not leave until the mound is filled.

[324] Mavor Yabok Mamar Sefas Emes 27; 

[325] See Mavor Yabok ibid [three times]; Nitei Gavriel 77:5

[326] Nitei Gavriel 77:6; Some have the custom that members of the Chevra Kadisha begin the filling of the grave by scooping earth in their hands and delicately placing it on the casket until it is completely covered, followed by everyone else with shovels.

[327] Rav Levi Garelik

[328] Mavor Yabok Mamar Sefas Emes 27; Lechem Hapanim 375; Beis Lechem Yehuda; Rav Akiva Eiger 376; Chochmas Adam 158:30; Kitzur SHU”A 199:7; Nitei Gavriel 77:3

[329] The reason: As one should not pass a negative thing to his friend. [ibid]

[330] Gesher Hachaim p. 148; Nitei Gavriel 76:29

[331] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 18 and in Seder Hakafos; Darkei Chesed p. 271; Nitei Gavriel 77:1

[332] Darkei Chesed ibid; Siddur Torah Or

[333] Rav Levi Garelik

[334] Tur 362; Admur 526:8 “Making a mound of earth is the completion of the burial process”; Poskim in next footnote

[335] Igros Moshe Y.D. 3:154; Minchas Yitzchak 4:28; Chazon Ish Y.D. 109; Nitei Gavriel 77:6

[336] Recorded in Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 18; Omitted from Darkei Chesed; Opposed by Mishnas Chassidim, Arizal in Shaar Hamitzvos; See Chaim Bayad 125:26; Rav Poalim 4:38; Nitei Gavriel 77:9

[337] Nitei Gavriel 77:8 and sources in footnote 14

[338] Minchas Elazar 4:61; Milameid Lehoil Y.D. 109; Yaskil Avdi 4:25; Minchas Yitzchak 1:31; Darkei Chesed p. 225; Nitei Gavriel 49:8; See however Admur 526:6 [based on Michaber 526:4 and Rav Ashi in Shabbos 148b] regarding cutting a myrtle branch to place by the bed of the deceased in his honor; See also Michaber 350 for a number of actions that do not contain a prohibition of Darkei Emori

[339] Michaber 339:3; Ramban in Toras Hadam that so is custom of all Israel; Chochmas Adam 151:18; Kitzur SHU”A 194:5; See Darkei Chesed 21; Nitei Gavriel 4:10 footnote 22; 78:1

[340] With this deeply meaningful prayer the mourners declare their acceptance of G-d’s decree and pray to G-d to have mercy upon those who are living.

[341] Rokeiach Aveilus 317; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 26 and 38; Derisha 376; Shivlei Haleket Semachos 13; Kolbo Avel 114; Shevet Yehuda 335; Chochmas Adam ibid; all Rishonim and Poskim mentioned in next footnote

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the mourners are to recite it immediately after the death. [Misgeres Hashulchan 194:3] The custom is not like this opinion. [Nitei Gavriel 78 footnote 1]

[342] Recite after burial: Tur 376 that so is Ashkenazi custom; Kitzur Shu”a 199:9 that so is custom of some places; Siddur Beis Oveid; Nehar Mitzrayim; Gesher Hachaim; Darkei Chesed 21:1 and p. 271 that so is custom; See Nitei Gavriel 78:1 and footnote 4 that so is Chabad custom; Rav Y.S. Ginzberg writes that it is said only after the sign which contains the name is placed on the mound

Recite before burial: Some recite Tziduk Hadin prior to the burial. [Implication of Rama 358:3; Darkei Moshe 352 in name of Binyamin Zev 204; Derisha 376; Shivlei Haleket Semachos 13; Kolbo Avel 114; Siddur Shlah; Maharil Semachos; Levush 376:4; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14; Siddur Torah Or; Many Poskim and Sefarim brought in Nitei Gavriel 78 footnote 3 and 5-6] Within this custom, some recite Tziduk Hadin after the Mamados [Rama ibid; Kitzur ibid] while others do so before the Mamados. [See Nitei Gavriel ibid]

Custom in Israel: The custom in Israel is to say it twice, once at home by the mourners and a second time by the cemetery. [Gesher Hachaim p. 149; Darkei Chesed 21:1, p. 77; Nitei Gavriel 78:3]

[343] See Nitei Gavriel 78:7

List of days: Chol Hamoed; Rosh Chodesh; 8 days of Chanukah; Purim; Entire month of Nissan; 11^th Tishreiy until 2^nd Mar Cheshvan; 15^th Shvat and Av; 1^st Sivan until the 12^th of Sivan; Lag Baomer [See See Darkei Chesed 21:2; Nitei Gavriel 78:13-17]

For the sake of a Torah scholar: See Admur ibid who rules it may not be said during Nissan; See however Darkei Chesed 21 footnote 5; Nitei Gavriel 78:13-14

[344] Rama O.C. 420:2 and Y.D. 401:6 that so is the widespread custom in these provinces; Admur 429:8 regarding month of Nissan; Tur 401 in name of Rishonim; Maharitz Geios; Chochmas Adam 169:26; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14; See Kaf Hachaim 420:2; Nitei Gavriel 78:7

Other opinions-Sephardim: Some Poskim rule that Tziduk Hadin and Kaddish is recited on days that Tachanun is omitted being it is not considered a eulogy but merely a blessing to Hashem. [Michaber Y.D. 401:6 regarding even Yom Tov Sheiyni; O.C. 420:2 regarding Rosh Chodesh; Opinions in Tur 420; Talmidei Rashi; Rambam, brought in Taz ibid; Siddur Beis Oveid] Practically, each community is to follow their custom, and in a place where there is no set custom, it is better not to say it. [Kaf Hachaim ibid] The general Sephardic practice, however, is to say it. [Nitei Gavriel 78:8]

[345] Shach 401:3

[346] Rama O.C. 420:2 and Y.D. 401:6 regarding Erev Shabbos; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14

Other customs: Some omit Tziduk Hadin beginning from the 5^th hour of Erev Shabbos. [Mavor Yabok Sifsie Rinanos 42; See Nitei Gavriel 78:7 footnote 13] Some places omit Tziduk Hadin every day after midday, and not just on Erev Shabbos. [See Minchas Elazar 4:41 who brings and negates the custom]

[347] Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to eulogize or say Tziduk Hadin and Kaddish on Erev Rosh Chodesh, and the like, starting from midday. [Rama 683:1; 420:2 regarding Erev Shabbos after midday, and the same would apply to Erev Rosh Chodesh being Tachanun is omitted starting from midday; P”M 420 A”A 1 that so is custom of Prague and other cities; Maareh Kohen Y.D. 401:2; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 78:12 and Poskim in footnote 23] Other Poskim however rule it is permitted to eulogize and say Tziduk Hadin on Erev Rosh Chodesh, and the like, even past midday. [Shach Y.D. 401:2; Beir Heiytiv 401:1; M”B 429:8; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14; Darkei Chesed 21:3; Many Poskim listed in Nitei Gavriel 52:15; 78:12 footnote 22] Practically, it is to be said unless there is a known custom not to say it. [Nitei Gavriel ibid; Darkei Chesed ibid writes to say it]

[348] Rama 402:6 in name of Kol Bo; Shach 376:3 in name of Beis Yosef and Orchos Chaim; Chochmas Adam 169:26; Kitzur SHU”A 198:15; See Darkei Chesed 21:3; Nitei Gavriel 78:9; See Mateh Ephraim 581:50 and 604

Other opinions-Sephardim: The general Sephardic practice is to say Tziduk Hadin even at night. [Sdei Chemed Aveilus 212; Ikarei Hadat 36:1; Nitei Gavriel 78:9]

[349] M”B 420:5; Implication of all Poskim who rule Tachanun may be said by Bein Hashmashos [Admur 131:4; Taz 131:8]; See Nitei Gavriel 78:10 and footnote 19

[350] See Lechem Hapanim 376; Beis lechem Yehuda 376; Kitzur SHU”A 198:14; Nitei Gavriel 78:4

[351] Maharil Semachos; Nitei Gavriel 4:10; 78:5

[352] Bach 367; Derisha 367:1; Aruch Hashulchan 367:5; Radbaz 1:224; Elya Raba 224:7; Nitei Gavriel 78:6

[353] Nitei Gavriel 78:11 in name of Maharash Neustat

[354] Darkei Chesed 21:4; p. 271; See however Nitei Gavriel 78:17 that one is not required to recite a Mizmor prior to saying this Kaddish, as it is going on the Tziduk Hadin

[355] See Aruch Hashulchan 547:8; Darkei Chesed ibid; See however Nitei Gavriel 78:18 who writes to say Psalm 16 and so writes Rav Y.S. Ginzberg; However Rav Levi Garelik concludes as we wrote above that the custom is to say Psalm 49 even in such a case

[356] Michaber 376:4; Kitzur SHU”A 199:9; Aruch Hashulchan 547:8; Darkei Chesed p. 274; Siddur Torah Or; See Nitei Gavriel 78:17-24

May Kaddish be said prior to the burial? See Darkei Chesed 21:5 who vehemently opposes it. However, see the following Poskim that many are accustomed to do so-See Birkeiy Yosef 341:12; Beis Oved; Shalmei Tzibur 178; Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:12; Shvus Yaakov 8; Kaf Hachaim 71:17; Yabia Omer 6:33; Gesher Hachaim p. 114; See Chapter 3 Halacha 8C!

[357] Shach 376:3 and end of 367; Levush

[358] Michaber ibid “They distance themselves slightly from the cemetery”; Shach ibid; Elya Raba 224:7; Aruch Hashulchan 367:4; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayechi; M”B 71:15l

[359] Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 29; Darkei Chesed 21:3; Nitei Gavriel 78:19 [see footnote 35 for discussion on this matter]

[360] See Nimukei Orach Chaim 58 and Nitei Gavriel 78:22 regarding the custom of some places for each son to say it individually

[361] Nitei Gavriel 78:21

[362] Gesher Hachaim p. 150; Nitei Gavriel 78:22

[363] Rama 401:6 and Shach 376:3 regarding nighttime; All Poskim in next footnote 

[364] Birkeiy Yosef 401:3; Aruch Hashulchan 547:8; Gesher Hachaim p. 150; Darkei Chesed p. 271 regarding Kaddish Yasom; Nitei Gavriel 78:18

[365] The order followed in previous times: The following order followed after the burial, follows the custom of today, which dates back hundreds of years, and is the recorded custom in the Tur and Shulchan Aruch Chapter 375-376. However, in previous times the order of after burial was quite ceremonial, containing many additional customs and traditions which include: 1) Seven Mamados and Moshavos [i.e. seven sessions of sitting and standing] after the burial, during the Shuras Menachamim, corresponding to the seven breaths of Koheles. [Tur 376:1 and 4; Bava Basra 100b] This matter is not obligatory, but rather dependent on community custom. [Tur 376:4; Beis Yosef 376:4] 2) Blessing of Techiyas Meisim, without Hashem’s name. 3) Eulogy in nearby area. 4) Blessing on a Kos Shel Bracha in middle of the street; 5) Blessing of Menachem Aveilim, Mechayeh Meisim, and other blessings with Hashem’s name, as they saw fit, also done in middle of the street. 6) Enter home of Avel and perform Nichum Aveilim. This order of visiting the cemetery, eulogizing, and saying blessings in the street was done for all seven days of Shiva. [Tur ibid; See Rama 355:1 and Taz 355:1 regarding if the street ceremony was also done for a deceased woman] However, the blessings were only said if there was a Panim Chadashos present. Practically, these customs are no longer followed today, as they were never obligatory but rather optional. [Tur 376:4]

[366] See Nitei Gavriel 79:1

[367] Michaber 375:1; Rosh; Ramban; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2

[368] The reason: See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid that when one travels by foot, or through a gentile area, he may wear leather shoes. Nitei Gavriel ibid concludes that today that we have normal shoes to wear which are not made o leather, there is no allowance to wear leather shoes after the burial.

[369] Rama 382:5; Shach 382:3; Kol Bo in name of Riy; Ravaya 841; Hagahos Maimanis 8:3; Rabbeinu Yerucham; Tanya Rabasi 66; Leket Yosher p. 66

[370] Michaber ibid and 376:4; Tur; Ramban; Custom of

Custom not to remove shoes until reach home: The Rama ibid records that the custom he has seen is not to walk home barefoot even if one is an Avel for a parent. The Shach ibid explains that the reason behind this custom is because they did not want to be scoffed by the gentiles, and thus in all areas in which this worry is not applicable, they must remove their shoes immediately after the burial. This custom of not removing the shoes until one reaches the home is also recorded in Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 13; Ishkavta Derebbe p. 108 that the Rebbe Rayatz and Chassidim did not remove their shoes by the Levaya of the Rebbe Rashab until they arrived home.

[371] Michaber 376:4

[372] Rama 376:4

[373] Darkei Chesed p. 179 and 276; Gesher Hachaim; Nitei Gavriel 79:1 and footnote 2 in name of Poskim; So was the Rebbe’s custom by the burial of his mother Rebbetzin Chana

Other customs: Some Poskim rule that the shoes are to be removed prior to the Kaddish. [Michaber 376:4] See Pnei Baruch 5:20 footnote 81 who writes to place earth in the shoes and then re-wear it until he reaches home. However seemingly today this allowance does not apply being that normal shoes are available.

[374] Nitei Gavriel 79:7

[375] See Tur 376; Nitei Gavriel 79:2-9

Seven Mamados and Moshavos: In previous times, it was customary to perform seven Mamados and Moshavos [i.e. seven sessions of sitting and standing] after the burial, during the Shuras Menachamim, corresponding to the seven breaths of Koheles. [Tur 376:1 and 4; Bava Basra 100b] This matter is not obligatory, but rather dependent on community custom. [Tur 376:4; Beis Yosef 376:4] It is no longer followed today.

[376] Mentioned in Michaber Y.D. 353:4; O.C. 72:4; Admur 72:4; Mishneh Brachos 17b; Megillah 23b; Tur 376 in great length [see there for the various customs that used to be followed for the Shuros]; 401 in name of Ramban; Rambam Avel 11:3; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 35 [Vetzaruch Iyun why the Michaber omitted it from chapter 376:4!]

If the mourner is below Bar Mitzvah: See Nitei Gavriel 79:5 that it is not done.

[377] Tur 401; Rambam ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 79:7-8 for different customs

[378] If there are not ten men present, it is nevertheless to be done.

[379] Gesher Hachaim p. 152; Nitei Gavriel 79:2 footnote 4 that we do not comfort the woman

[380] So is custom today; Vetzaruch Iyun Gadol from Halacha that the men may not look at the women after the funeral or burial!

[381] Gesher Hachaim 152 and Nitei Gavriel 79:1

[382] Michaber 340:16; Moed Katan 22b; See Michaber 340:17 regarding from which side the Chlitzas Kateif is done; See Michaber 401:4 that this was not done on Chol Hamoed

[383] Rama 340:17; Kol Bo in name of Riy; See Michaber ibid that a Gadul is not required to do so if it is beneath his dignity.

[384] Admur 71:1

[385] Tur 376; Rosh Moed Katan 3:86; Hilchos Semachos of Maharam 148; Shut Maharil 23; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 37; Gesher Hachaim p. 152:3; Nitei Gavriel 80:12

[386] Nitei Gavriel 80:13

[387] See Gesher Hachaim 16:8; Beis Lechem Yehuda 376:4; Kaf Hachaim 4:78-80; Nitei Gavriel 70, 80; Piskeiy Teshuvos 4:25

[388] Darkei Chesed p. 225; Nitei Gavriel 77:3

[389] See Admur Shemiras Haguf 10 “For this reason, the men may not stand in front of the women when they return from the funeral, and they are not to greet them face to face. Rather, the men are to follow either in back of them or in front of them. Upon returning from the funeral or burial , the men are to exit through a different route in order not to greet the women.”; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 10 “The widespread custom in all of Eretz Yisrael that at first the men go, and they appoint guards to prevent any of the women from passing until all the men leave. After the burial, the women remain there for approximately 15 minutes until all the men have left.”;

[390] Nitei Gavriel 68:1; 80:1; 16

[391] See Admur 110/9; M”A 110/9; M”B 110/17; Rambam Shoftim Avel 4/4; Rebbe Avin Brachos 64a and Moed Katan 29a; See Nitei Gavriel 80 footnote 1

[392] Beis Yosef 376 in name of Kol Bo 114 “After the burial, the participants say Leich Beshalom and fall on the grave and kiss it in a way of respect.”; Rambam Avel 4:4; Brachos 64a; Moed Katan 29a; Mavor Yabok Minchas Aaron 4; Chochmas Adam Matzeivas Moshe 14; Misgeres Hashulchan 399:1; Gesher Hachaim p. 131

[393] Darkei Moshe 376:5 “Today the custom is to no longer follow any of the above”; Nitei Gavriel ibid

[394] Beis Yosef 376 in name of Kol Bo 114; Orchos Chaim Avel; Mishmeres Shalom Zayin 51; Nitei Gavriel 80:16

[395] Darkei Moshe ibid

[396] Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 2 regarding time of burial; Darkei Chesed 15:6 that so is custom of Jewry; Nitei Gavriel 77:11

[397] Gesher Hachaim p. 93; Darkei Chesed 16:10; Nitei Gavriel 80:11; See Admur Shemiras Haguf 10 “Upon returning from the funeral or burial, the men are to exit through a different route in order not to greet the women.”; See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 23 if this custom is only in order to avoid seeing the women, or is for other reasons as well

[398] Michaber Yoreh Deah 376:5; Tur 376; Ramban; Kol Bo; Hagahos Ashri; Machzor Vitru 279; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 37; Kitzur SHU”A 199:2; Nitei Gavriel 80:2

Other customs: Some write to throw the earth and grass onto one’s head. [Shach 376:5 and Bier Hagoleh ibid in name of Kol Bo]

[399] One is to uproot the grass together with its earth. [Gesher Hachaim 16:9]

The reason: This hints towards the resurrection, as the bodies will be revived from the earth. [Shach 376:4] Likewise, this represents that in the future the dead will be purified with three items: water, earth and hyssop. [Shach 376:5 in name of Ramban; Chochmas Adam 158:29; Nitei Gavriel 80:2]

[400] Machzor Vitri ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid; See there footnote 7 that so was seen to be done by Rebbe after the burial of the Rebbetzin, the Rebbe plucked it off the earth with his right hand and threw it behind him three times

[401] Shach 376:4; Chochmas Adam 158:29; Gesher Hachaim ibid

The reason: This verse hints towards the resurrection, as the bodies will be revived from the earth. [Shach ibid]

[402] See Shach ibid; Machzor Vitri ibid; Nitei Gavriel 80:2; see Chochmas Adam ibid; Darkei Chesed 16:11 writes to say this verse

[403] Michaber 547:12; Hagahos Maimanis Yom Tov 2 in name of Maharam; Mamar Mordechai 547; Kneses Hagedola 376; Beir Heiytiv 547:7; Shulchan Gavoa 547:23; Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger 376:4; M”B 547:25 that so is the custom; Kaf Hachaim 547:43; Gesher Hachaim p. 152; Darkei Chesed 16:11; Chol Hamoed Kehilchasa 12:20; Nitei Gavriel 80:3

Other Poskim: Some Poskim rule it is permitted to do so even on Chol Hamoed. [Hamabit 27; Elya Raba 547, brought in Beir Heiytiv 547:7; Siddur Beis Oveid; Kitzur SHU”A 199:10]

[404] See Nitei Gavriel 80:3

[405] Admur Kama 4:18; Michaber Y.D. 176:4; Rama Y.D. 176:4 “The custom is to be stringent not to allow one to enter a house prior to washing, and the custom of Israel is Torah”; Tur 376:4 [brings different opinions regarding this custom]; M”A 4:21; Chayeh Adam 2:5; Kitzur SHU”A 2:69; M”B 4:43; Darkei Chesed 16:12; Nitei Gavriel 70:1; 80:4-5

[406] So rule regarding one who was near a body but did not touch it: Kama 4/18; Ketzos Hashulchan 2/11; also brought in Chayeh Adam 2:5; Kitzur SH”A 2/9

^[407] See Seder Hayom; Magen Avraham 4:18; Elya Raba 4:12; Peri Megadim 4:18; Kaf Hachaim 4:63; M”B 4:38; Nitei Gavriel 70:1; Omitted by Admur. Vetzaruch Iyun. Based on the above some are particular to wash their hands before entering into their car. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6]

The reason: In order to immediately remove the spirit of impurity from one’s hands and not delay it. [ibid]

[408] Migdal Oz [Yaavetz] brought in Ketzos Hashulchan supplements 1 p. 82; Peri Megadim 4 A”A 21; Kitzur SHU”A 2:9; Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 4:77; Piskeiy Teshuvos 4 footnote 239; Nitei Gavriel 70:1 [However Tzaruch Iyun if the P”M was referring to a funeral or only one who is near a corpse]

[409] Ishkavta Direbbe p. 107; Mishmeres Shalom Reish 8; Nitei Gavriel 70:1 footnote 5 in name of a number of Poskim; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 4 footnote 239 in name of Chazon Ish

[410] Gesher Hachaim ibid

[411] Rama 376:4 regarding returning after burial “The custom is to be stringent not to allow one to enter another’s house prior to washing, and the custom of Israel is Torah”; Beir Heiytiv 4:23; M”B 4:43; Kaf Hachaim 4:80; Nitei Gavriel 70:5-6; 80:10

Entering a Beis Midrash or Shul: Some allow entering into a Beis Midrash prior to the washing and wash there. [Nitei Gavriel 70:5 that so is the Chabad custom to wash the hands in the lobby of the shul and that the Rebbe explained to him that the reason is in order to prevent Bittul Torah]

[412] Beir Heiytiv 4:23; M”B 4:43; Yifei Laleiv brought in Kaf Hachaim 4:77; Kaf Hachaim 4:80; Darkei Chesed 16:13; Nitei Gavriel 70:5-6

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the adherences recorded of washing prior to entering the home and sitting seven times is only for one who attended the burial or was within 4 Amos of the deceased, however, one who simply participated in a Levaya and was not within 4 Amos of the deceased, does not need to adhere by these matters. [Chochmas Adam 158:29; Misgeres Hashulchan 199:3; See Darkei Chesed 16:13; Nitei Gavriel 70:5-6 footnote 16]

[413] The reason: In order not to enter the evil spirits into the home. [Levush 376:4]

[414] Nitei Gavriel 70:6 that so is Minhag Haolam; See other opinions in previous footnote

[415] See Admur 7:2; 613:4; 92:6; Seder Birchas Hanehnin 13:17; M”B 4:61 and 227:11; Peri Megadim 227 A.A. 2 explicitly allows saying a blessing before washing hands from impurity; Maharsham 4:148 brought in Shearim Hametzuyanim Behalacha 2:5 regarding learning while cutting nails; and so rules Piskeiy Teshuvos 4:32; 237:8; Nitei Gavriel 80:5

The reason: The impurity which comes as a result of the above actions is not the same type of impurity as that which resides when one awakens from sleeping at night, and thus it does not hold the restriction mentioned prior to washing hands in the morning.

Other Opinions: Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] and Chesed Lealafim [brought in Kaf Hachaim 4:61] learn that all the laws that apply prior to morning washing likewise apply towards one who has the impure spirit through leaving the bathroom and the like. So rules Kaf Hachaim 227:16 that a blessing may not be said until one washes his hands.

[416] See Nitei Gavriel 70:1

[417] Admur Kama 4:18; M”A 4:17; Seder Hayom; Kneses Hagedola; Nimukeiy Orach Chaim 4:2

Other Opinions: Olas Tamid writes that possibly one is required to pour three times on his hand just like is required upon awakening in the morning. So rules also: Shlah Shaar Haosiyos 9; Lev Chaim 1:63; Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 7:26; Ruach Chaim 4:3; Chesed Lealafim brought in Kaf Hachaim 4:61. The following Poskim rule that some actions require three times while others do not: Soles Belula 4:14; Machazik Bracha 4:6 in name of Makor Chaim; Elya Raba 4:12; P”M 4 A”A 17; Machatzis Hashekel 17; Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 16-17; Kaf Hachaim 4:61 concludes that one who is stringent to wash three times after all the above actions is holy.

[418] Ketzos Hashulchan 2 footnote 29

[419] Ketzos Hashulchan 2 footnote 29; Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 35 regarding three times “One is to pour three times like Netilas Yadayim in the morning, as it is Bas Melech, and she remains for up until three washes”; See Elya Raba 4:12; Machatzis Hashekel 4:17; Soles Belula 4:14; Machazik Bracha 4:6 in name of Makor Chaim; Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 16; Kaf Hachaim 4:61; Olas Tamid; Shlah Shaar Haosiyos 9; Lev Chaim 1:63; Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 7:26; Ruach Chaim 4:3; Chesed Lealafim brought in Kaf Hachaim 4:61.

[420] Kneses Hagedola 376;13; Gilyon Maharsha 376 due to Cherem Hakadmonim

[421] Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 35; Nitei Gavriel 70:2

[422] The reason: This allows the Kelipos to get their share from the water and leave the hands of the person. [Mavor Yabok ibid] Likewise, this will cause the water to get lost and not be reused.

[423] Beis Lechem Yehuda 376:4; Lechem Hapanim 376; Elya Raba 224:7; Rav Akiva Eiger 376; Chochmas Adam 144:30; Kitzur SHU”A 199:10; Kaf Hachaim 4:79; Gesher Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 70:3

[424] Nitei Gavriel 70:2 that so is custom of world and that so is the Chabad custom. Some say this is because we are particular not to leave any water in the vessel. [See Mavor Yabok 19; Piskeiy Teshuvos 4 footnote 246]

Other customs: Some are not particular to turn the cup over. [Minhag Square; Chayeh Levi 1:100]

[425] Beis Lechem Yehuda 376:4 as the custom of Jerusalem; Lechem Hapanim 376; Shiyurei Kneses Hagedola 376:14 that so is custom; Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 19; Kitzur SHU”A 199:10; Gilyon Maharsha 376:4; Gesher Hachaim ibid; Darkei Chesed 16:12; Nitei Gavriel 70:4

Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule it is not necessary to avoid drying the hands after washing. [Minhagei Maharil; Ikarei Daat 35:7; Siddur Beis Oveid; Yifei Laleiv 3:376-3; Gilyon Maharsha; Pachad Yitzchak Beis Kever; See Kaf Hachaim 4:78; Ben Ish Chaiy Toldos 16 rules one may be lenient to dry the hands in a cold area; See Nitei Gavriel 70:4 footnote 11]

[426] M”A 4:20 in name of Teshuvos Maharil; Kneses Hagedola 376:12 brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376; Gesher Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 70:8

[427] Darkei Moshe 376:7 write this is no longer the custom and so concludes Nitei Gavriel 70:8

[428] Beis Lechem Yehuda 376; See Tashbeitz 349; Yosef Ometz 327; Gesher Hachaim ibid

[429] Darkei Chesed 16:12

[430] Shulchan Hatahor; Pela Yoetz “Taharah”; Moed Kol Chaiy 12 brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 4 footnote 243; Nitei Gavriel 70:9; 80:17

[431] Rama 376:4; Tur 376; Rashbam Bava Basra 100b; Mavor Yabok Sefas Emes 31; Sifsei Rinanos 20; Imrei Noam 37; Chochmas Adam 158:29; Kitzur SHU”A 199:10; Beis Lechem Yehuda 376; Darkei Chesed 16:13; Nitei Gavriel 80:6-9 and many Poskim and Sefarim brought in footnote 13-14; See Tur 376:1 and Bava Basra 100b that the custom was to perform seven Mamados and Moshavos in the cemetery after the burial, and hence this custom of sitting seven times corresponds to the original custom of Mamados

[432] Opinion in Rama ibid; Maharil Teshuvah 23;

Other opinions: Some Poskim completely negate the performance of the seven sittings as a) it should only be done in communities with an established custom of doing so and b) It is to only be done inside the cemetery. [Darkei Moshe 376:4 in name of Nemukei Yosef]

[433] The law by a funeral: The Poskim rule that the adherences recorded of washing prior to entering the home and sitting seven times is only for one who attended the burial, however, one who simply participated in a Levaya, does not need to adhere by these matters. [Tur 376 in name of Kol Bo; Ran end of Moed Katan; Chochmas Adam 158:29; Misgeres Hashulchan 199:3; Aruch Hashulchan 376:10; Yifei Laleiv 5:361; Gesher Hachaim 14:22; See Nitei Gavriel 70:5 footnote 16; 80:10] Nonetheless, the Chabad custom is to do so even by a funeral. [Nitei Gavriel 80:10 footnote 19 that so was done by Rebbe Rashab, the Rebbe and Chabad Chassidim]

[434] The reason: The sitting is done in order to banish the evil spirits which escort a person until he sits down, as each time one sits, the evil spirits run away from the person. [Rama ibid in name of Maharil 23; Beis Lechem Yehuda ibid] Alternatively, it corresponds to the original custom to perform seven Mamados and Moshavos in the cemetery after the burial [See Tur 376:1 and Bava Basra 100b] and hence this custom of sitting seven times corresponds to the original custom of Mamados. [See Darkei Moshe 376:4 in name of Maharil ibid “Neged Shiva Mamaods”]

[435] Rama ibid; Many Poskim and Sefarim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 13

[436] Shach 376:6 brings the Levush, Perisha and Rashal which rule one is to sit and say Yosheiv Beseiser seven times; Mavor Yabok ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 80 footnote 14 and that so was custom of Rebbe to sit seven times after a Levaya

Other opinions: Gesher Hachaim ibid writes it is said three times. Nitei Gavriel 80:7 writes in name of Elya Raba 295:1 that it suffices for one who is learning Torah or is in the midst of work to sit three times.

[437] The reason: The recital of Vayehi Noam and Yosheiv Beseiser has Kabalistic power to banish evil forces. [Rama ibid in name of Maharil 23; Beis Lechem Yehuda ibid]

[438] Erech Lechem 376; Nehar Mitzrayim 73; Nitei Gavriel 80 footnote 15 that so is the custom of many Sephardic communities, and in footnote 14 that so is custom of most Chevra Kadisha’s to not do so

[439] Gesher Hachaim 16:8 writes it is no longer the custom to perform this procedure with exception to the relatives of the person who passed away.

[440] Nitei Gavriel 80:10 footnote 19 that so was done by Rebbe Rashab, the Rebbe and Chabad Chassidim

[441] Rama 376:4 “The custom is to be stringent not to allow one to enter another’s house prior to washing and sitting, and the custom of Israel is Torah”; Beir Heiytiv 4:23; M”B 4:43; Kaf Hachaim 4:80; Nitei Gavriel 70:5-6; 80:10

[442] The reason: In order not to enter the evil spirits into the home. [Levush 376:4]

[443] See Darkei Moshe 376:4 in name of Nemukei Yosef that the custom was to perform these seven sittings inside the Shul or Beis Hamidrash [although the Nemukei Yosef negates this custom for other reasons]; The Maharil writes the custom is to perform three of the sittings in the cemetery, and another three in the courtyard of the Shul. See Nitei Gavriel 70:5 that so is the Chabad custom to wash the hands in the lobby of the shul and that the Rebbe explained to him that the reason is in order to prevent Bittul Torah

[444] Rashbam ibid

[445] Maharshal in name of grandfather brought in Taz 376:3 and so rules Levush

[446] Shach 376:6; Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 37; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 73:2 footnote 7

[447] The following is recited:

אתה גיבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה, רב להושיע מכלכל חיים בחסד מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחייה ומצמיח ישועה: ונאמן אתה להחיות מתים.

[448] Rama ibid; Chok Yaakov 429:7; Chochmas Adam ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid; Nitei Gavriel 80:9

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