Chapter 48: Davening for a Mourner[1]

*See our corresponding Sefer “The laws & Customs of Mourning” Volumes 1-2 for the full details of this subject!

1. Onen:

After the passing of a relative for whom one must mourn, one enters into a state of Aninus, and is called an Onen. During this period of Aninus, the mourners are restricted from performing various actions, including Mitzvos, prayer, and certain Halachic obligations. This stage ends with the burial of the deceased, in which case the Onen then transfers to the state of Avel, beginning with the laws of Shiva, and then Shloshim.

Shema and Davening: The Onen is exempt from reading the Shema [in morning or evening] and is exempt from Davening. Furthermore, even if the Onen desires to be stringent upon himself and read Shema, it is Rabbinically forbidden for him to do so.

Minyan: An Onen is unable to join a Minyan for its count of ten men, and hence there needs to be ten men in addition to the Onen for a Minyan to be held. [Seemingly, however, according to the Chabad custom for the son to recite Kaddish during Aninus, the son of the deceased can count for a Minyan for the saying of Kaddish. During the times that Aninus is suspended, or nullified, prior to burial, such as on Shabbos, the Onen joins the Minyan.]

If one discovered the death while in the midst of Shema, or Shemoneh Esrei, or Birchas Hamazon, is he to finish the prayer? It is disputed amongst the Poskim as to whether he is to finish the prayer. Practically, one may choose to follow either opinion. If he is holding prior to Shemoneh Esrei, he is not to begin the prayer. If he is holding in the midst of Pesukei Dezimra, he is to read until after Yishtabach.

Should a relative be told of the death if he has not yet Davened? If there are other relatives that are dealing with the burial needs, it is better to wait until after he Davens to inform him. [If, however, he is a son of the deceased and will be saying Kaddish, seemingly he is to be informed immediately.]

May an Onen who has a Yahrzeit for a parent during his state of Aninus, Daven and say Kaddish? It is permitted for him to say Kaddish. He however is not allowed to Daven.

Saying Tehillim: It is permitted for people to read Tehillim near the corpse.  Tehillim may be read even at night, prior to midnight. Some Poskim rule it is even permitted for the Onen to recite Tehillim on behalf of the deceased while he is in the presence of the deceased and acting as a Shomer. Other Poskim, however, rule it is forbidden for the Onen to recite Tehillim.

Reciting Kaddish: A son who is an Onen after the passing of his father [or mother] may go to Shul and say Kaddish on behalf of his father [or mother]. [Practically, so is the Chabad custom. The Rebbe said Kaddish while he was an Onen for his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, and his wife, Rebbetzin Chayah Mushka. He is to go to Shul and recite Kaddish Yasom and Kaddish Derabanon, although is not allowed to pray, or answer Amen, while in a state of Aninus.] A son is to be informed immediately upon the passing of a parent in order so he can begin saying Kaddish.

2. The Prayers and blessings during Shiva:
3. Davening in the house of the Niftar:

If there are no mourners that are sitting Shiva elsewhere, a Minyan is to be held in the area that the person passed away, or alternatively in the house of the deceased, even if no mourners will participate in the Minyan. If there are mourners sitting Shiva elsewhere, and there are no male mourners sitting Shiva in the house of the deceased, it is not necessary to arrange a Minyan in the home.

If the Niftar is a child, is one to make a Minyan in the area that he passed away? If a child who was less than one year of age passed away, one is not to make a Minyan in his house. Nevertheless, the widespread custom today is that if there are male Aveilim in the home, a Minyan is arranged in order so they can Daven with a Minyan.

1. Davening in the house of the Avel:

It is a great Mitzvah, and community responsibility, to arrange Minyanim to take place in the house in which a male Avel is sitting Shiva even if it is not the house of the deceased. Participating in the Minyamin of a Shiva home is a great Mitzvah and is considered part of the Mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim.

Not to raise one’s voice: One who Davens in the Shiva home is not to raise his voice in prayer.

1. Avel joining the Minyan:

An Avel is included in the count of ten men required for the Minyan. [This applies even on the first day of Aveilus.]

 

1. Avel Davening for the Amud:

Son of the deceased: An Avel [who is the son of the deceased, whether the deceased is his father or mother], is to lead the prayers as Chazan for every weekday prayer [during Shiva, and thereafter until the end of the saying of Kaddish after 11 months], if he knows how to do so. Having the Avel [for a parent] lead the prayers is of greater benefit [to the deceased] than the saying of Kaddish Yasom, as Kaddish Yasom was mainly instituted for children [under Bar Mitzvah] who cannot yet lead the prayers. An Avel [for a parent] who does not know to lead the prayers is to do so at the very least for [Ashreiy], Lamnatzeiach, and Uva Letziyon.

How many sons of the deceased are to lead the prayers? If possible, all the sons of the deceased should lead all the prayers throughout the entire Shiva and the first 11 months. If there is more than one son of the deceased in the Shiva home and enough people for another Minyan, the prayers may be scheduled at different times, or held concurrently in other rooms.

What does one do if there are no male mourners? If there are no male mourners, the family is to appoint a Chazan from those gathered for the Minyan.

What does one do if there is a male mourner, but he is unable to Daven for the Amud?  If the mourner cannot lead the service, another person is to be designated as Chazan, and the mourner should recite the Mourner’s Kaddish at the designated points.

Other relatives: A mourner [who is not the son of the deceased] is not to lead the prayers as Chazan [during Shiva, and until after the Shloshim] to fulfill the obligation of the congregation, unless there is no other Chazan available who knows to lead the prayers and fulfill the obligation for the public. Practically, however, the custom is to allow a mourner of any type to lead the prayers even during Shiva.

Shabbos and Yom Tov: It is customary for an Avel [even of a father or mother] not to lead the prayers as Chazan on Shabbos or Yom Tov [throughout the Shiva and the mourning period], even though there is no prohibition in the matter. However, if there is no better Chazan available, then the Avel may lead the prayers.

Rosh Chodesh: A mourner [during Shiva and during the first eleven months of mourning] does not lead the prayers on Rosh Chodesh, or on any day which has a Mussaf service. This restriction applies even to Maariv and Mincha of Rosh Chodesh.

Chanukah: A mourner that is within Shiva may lead the services on Chanukah, except for the reading of Hallel. [He is however to say the Kaddish after Hallel.]

Purim: The Chabad custom is for the mourner of a parent to lead the prayers on Purim. However, some are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on Purim.

Days Tachanun is omitted: The mourner of a parent to lead the prayers on all days that Tachanun is omitted, with exception to days that Musaf is recited, and so is the Chabad custom.  However, some are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on all days that Lamnatzieach [and Tachanun] is omitted.

If one has a Yartzite on Rosh Chodesh is he to Daven as a Chazan? Yes. This applies even if he is a mourner, within 12 months of mourning a parent.

 

1. Lighting candles:

It is customary for the Avel who is leading the prayers as Chazan to light five candles during the services [of Shacharis Mincha and Maariv]. The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan. The Avel is to personally light these candles and not use candles that were lit by another person. In the event that the Avel is not leading the prayers, the five candles are nevertheless to be lit, if the Avel is participating in the Minyan. If there is no Avel participating in the Minyan, only two candles are lit.

Mincha Erev Shabbos, and Maariv Motzei Shabbos: The widespread custom is not to light candles by Mincha of Erev Shabbos and Maariv of Motzei Shabbos.

1. Going to Shul if no Minyan is available in the Shiva home:

An Avel may be lenient to go to shul to say Kaddish, and hear Kedusha and Barchu if he is pained over the fact that he will not be with a Minyan.

Is the Avel to be Chazan when he Davens in a Shul during Shiva? It is permitted for the Avel to lead the prayers as Chazan during Shiva even when Davening in a Shul. In such a case, the Avel is to recite Elokeinu or Birchas Kohanim in his repetition.  

May a son below Bar Mitzvah go to Shul to say Kaddish for his father? A son below Bar Mitzvah who is an Avel for a parent may go to Shul to say Kaddish.

1. Tefillin during Shiva:

On the first day of Shiva one is not to wear Tefillin. Nonetheless, the widespread Chabad custom is to wear Tefillin without a blessing. However, some are particular to do so only in private. On the second day of Shiva, one wears Tefillin after sunrise with a blessing, although he is to be particular to wear them prior to the arrival of new comforters.

If the person was buried at night does one wear Tefillin the next day? No. However those who are accustomed to wear Tefillin on the first day of mourning, as is the Chabad custom, then the Tefillin are worn without a blessing. Some Poskim however suggest that even a blessing may be recited.

If the deceased was buried during Chol Hamoed, may Tefillin be worn on Issru Chag, which is the first day of mourning? Yes. One is to wear the Tefillin with a blessing.

May an Avel wear Tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam during Shiva? Some Poskim rule an Avel is not to wear Tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam throughout Shiva. Others Poskim rule an Avel is to wear Tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam. Practically, the Chabad custom is to wear Rabbeinu Tam even on the first day of Shiva, and even in public. One is to recite all four Parshiyos of Shema and Vehaya while wearing Rabbeinu Tam, just as is done during the regular year.

Does a Chasan wear Tefillin on the first day of Shiva? In the event that the Shiva will begin only after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos, the Chasan is to wear Tefillin on the first day of Aveilus.

Tallis during Shiva: An Avel is to wear a Tallis Gadol/Katan during Shiva just as he does any other time of the year. This applies even on the first day of mourning.

3. The Order of the prayer during Shiva:
4. Birchas Hashachar:

An Avel recites Birchas Hashachar as usual on each day of Shiva, with exception to the first day of Shiva, if the burial took place after daybreak, in which case Birchas Hashachar is not recited, as explained in Chapter 3 Halacha 24A!

Does a mourner recite the blessing of Sheasa Li Kol Tzarki during Shiva? Yes.

Does a mourner recite Birchas Hatorah on the first day of Shiva, after the burial? Yes. See Chapter 4 Halacha 24A!

 

1. Karbanos:

A mourner who is particular to say Karbanos every day, is to say all the Karbanos and other parts of Davening, as usual. The Yehi Ratzon which is said before the Parshas Hatamid and Eizehu Mikoman, and Ribono Shel Olam said after the Akeida, is omitted by the mourner.

 

1. Birchas Kohanim/Elokeinu/Nesias Kapayim:

Elokeinu is omitted from the Chazan’s repetition in the Shiva home, and rather the Chazan goes straight to Sim Shalom after completing the blessing of “Hatov Shimcha Lecha Naeh Lehodos.” Nesias Kapayim is not performed in the Shiva home during Shiva even in areas that perform Nesias Kapayim daily, such as in Jerusalem. If the Avel is a Kohen, he does not perform Nesias Kapayim even when Davening in Shul, and even if he is the only Kohen present, and even on Shabbos.

If the Avel is davening in Shul during Shiva, is Elokeinu to be recited and is Nesias Kapayim to be performed by the congregation in those places accustomed to do so? Yes. Elokeinu is to be recited and Nesias Kapayim is performed in those communities accustomed to do so daily. This applies even if the Avel is the Chazan, nevertheless, he is to recite Elokeinu, and recite Yivarechicha for the Kohanim in areas that perform Nesias Kapayim. [Some however are accustomed to have another person say Yivarechicha for the Kohanim in such a case.]

1. Tachanun:

Tachanun [Lamnatzeiach, Keil Erech Apayim, Tefila Ledavid before Shir Shel Yom] is omitted in the house of an Avel throughout the seven days of Shiva. This applies by all the prayers; Shacharis, Mincha, Kerias Shema Sheal Hamita. This applies even if the Avel is not participating in the Minyan, such as the Avel is a woman or child, and applies to all the rooms of the Shiva home even if the Avel is not present in that room.Even after the Minyan is complete, and the congregation returns home, they are not required to make up the recital of Tachanun.

If a Minyan is taking place in the house of the deceased, but there are no Aveilim present who are sitting Shiva, is Tachanun to be recited? If the deceased passed away in this home, then Tachanun is omitted. If, however, the deceased did not pass away in this home and there are no Aveilim in the home, then Tachanun is recited even though it is the house that the deceased lived in.

Is Tachanun recited on the seventh day of Shiva if the Minyan for Mincha is taking place in the Shiva home? No.

If the Avel during Shiva comes to Shul to Daven, is Tachanun to be recited? The Avel does not recite Tachanun during Shiva irrelevant of where he Davens. However, the rest of the congregation is to recite Tachanun, unless they have an accepted custom otherwise. If, however, the Avel is Davening for the Amud, according to all Tachanun is omitted. Likewise, if the congregation came to the Minyan in Shul specifically for the sake of the Avel, Tachanun is not recited.

Is Selichos of Elul/Aseres Yimei Teshuvah recited in the house of an Avel? At the house of an Avel, Selichos is recited without the confession prayer [of Ashamnu] and without Nefilas Apayim. However, some Poskim rule that one is to recite the confession prayer within the Selichos recited prior to Davening. Some suggest that the Minyan is to recite Selichos in a nearby home in which the person did not pass away, and they are then to recite the confession prayer within Selichos. Some are accustomed to reciting an abridged form of Selichos.

Does the Avel recite the Selichos in Elul? Yes. An Avel recites Selichos, although he does not recite the confession prayer or Nefilas Apayim.

Is Avel to lead the Selichos prayer during Shiva? Some Poskim write that an Avel who is within Shiva is not to lead the prayers of Selichos, or any of the prayers during the days that Selichos is recited. [The Chabad custom is that the Avel leads the prayers on all of these days.]

Is Selichos of a fast day recited in the house of an Avel? At the house of an Avel, Selichos is recited without the confession prayer [of Ashamnu] and without Nefilas Apayim.

Does the Avel recite the fast day Selichos? Some Poskim rule the Avel does not recite Selichos. Others rule the Avel is to recite Selichos without the confession prayer.

Is Avinu Malkeinu recited in the house of an Avel? Yes.

May an Avel during Shiva recite the Seder Yom Kippur Katan on Erev Rosh Chodesh? This matter is debated amongst the Poskim.

1. Hallel in the house of a mourner:

Rosh Chodesh: The custom is to omit the saying of Hallel on Rosh Chodesh when praying in the house of a mourner. Nevertheless, after each member of the congregation returns home, they are obligated to recite Hallel [with exception to the Avel]. This applies even if the Avel is not participating in Minyan, such as the Avel is a woman or child. This applies likewise to a Minyan taking place in the home of the deceased without any Aveilim, such as when there are no relatives sitting Shiva. The worldly custom however is to ask the mourners to leave the room by Hallel, and have the Minyan say Hallel without them. The mourners then return after Hallel and say Kaddish. Alternatively, the Minyan leaves to a different room for the saying of Hallel. According to all customs, the Avel himself may not say Hallel on Rosh Chodesh. 

On Shabbos Rosh Chodesh, is Hallel recited when Davening in the Shiva home? Yes. Even the Avel recites Hallel, as brought next!

Does the Avel recite Hallel on Shabbos Rosh Chodesh? Yes.

Does the Avel recite Hallel on Rosh Chodesh if he is Davening in Shul during Shiva? Yes.

Does the Avel recite Hallel on Rosh Chodesh if it is the seventh day of Shiva? Some Poskim rule he does not recite Hallel even after getting up from Shiva that day after Shacharis. Other Poskim rule he is to recite Hallel after Shacharis. Some suggest that the mourners are to be comforted prior to Shacharis, or immediately after Shemoneh Esrei, and then say Hallel together with the Minyan in the Shiva home.

Chanukah: During Chanukah, Hallel is recited in the house of the Avel just as it is recited in Shul. The Avel is to also recite Hallel with the congregation. He however does not lead the prayers for Hallel. The people present are not to sing the Halel when it is being said in the Shiva home.

Does an Avel recite Hallel on Chol Hamoed, prior to the start of Aveilus on Motzei Chag? Yes.

1. Veani Zos Brisi in Uva Letziyon:

One is to recite Veani Zos Berisi in Uva Letziyon. However, some Poskim rule one is to omit it just like on Tishe Beav.

1. Kaddish Tiskabel:

One is to recite Tiskabel in Kaddish Shaleim that follows Uva Letziyon, and after Mincha, Maariv, even during Shiva. This applies even if the Avel is leading the prayers. However some Poskim rule one is to omit it just like on Tishe Beav.

1. Ein Kelokeinu:

One is to recite Ein Kelokeinu after Shir Shel Yom, just as is done every day.

 

1. Aleinu:

One is to recite Aleinu Leshabeiach, just as is done every day.

1. Daily Tehilim-Psalm 49:

Daily Tehillim: The daily Tehillim [part of Chitas] is recited after Davening. The Avel however is to recite it quietly and have the last verse recited aloud by another person.

Psalm 49: In the house of a mourner, the congregation recites Psalm 49 after Shacharis and Mincha. It is recited after Mishnayos and Kaddish Derabanan. The Avel is also to recite Psalm 49 after Davening and conclude the last verse out loud. Kaddish Yasom is recited after the conclusion of the Psalm. On days that Tachanun is omitted [i.e. Mincha Erev Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah, Purim, Nissan, Tishreiy, starting from after Yom Kippur, etc] Psalm 49 is not recited. Many are accustomed to recite Psalm 16 in its place, which is then followed by Kaddish Yasom. On Shabbos, Yom Tov, Chol Hamoed, and Purim, no Psalm is recited.

When is Psalm 49 to be recited; Before or after the daily Tehillim; Before or after Mishnayos? The order is as follows: 1) Daily Tehillim and Kaddish Yasom; 2) Mishnayos and Kaddish Derabanan; 3) Psalm 49 and Kaddish Yasom

Is Psalm 49 recited on Mincha Erev Shabbos? No. Many are accustomed to reciting Psalm 16 in its stead, which is then followed by Kaddish Yasom. Others do not say any Psalm in its place.

If the Avel is Davening in Shul, should Psalm 49 be recited? Yes.

 

1. Mishnayos after Davening:

The custom is for an Avel [of a parent] to recite Mishnayos after Davening of each prayer [Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv] during Shiva, and throughout the 11 months, and on the Yartzite, as explained in Chapter 25 Halacha 8. During the Shiva, however, the Avel does not recite Mishnayos after Davening, due to his prohibition against learning Torah. Rather, one Mishnah is read aloud and the Avel then says Kaddish Derabanan. The custom is to have another person in the Minyan, who is not an Avel, recite the last Mishneh of Mikvaos chapter 7 and the Agadic saying of Rebbe Chanania aloud, which is then followed by Kaddish Derabanan by the mourner. This applies even on Shabbos during the Shiva. After the reading of the daily Tehillim by Shacharis [before Psalm 49], and after the last Kaddish Yasom by Mincha and Maariv, the Mishneh is read.

1. Charity:

One is to donate money to charity before or after each prayer, in merit of the deceased. It is better to donate a small sum of coins each day than to give a single lump sum. The amount given should be varied each time, so it does not enter the status of a vow. The accumulated moneys should be distributed to various charities on the eve of the following Rosh Chodesh.

1. Maariv:

A regular Maariv prayer, beginning from Shir Hamaalos is prayed in the Shiva home.

1. Kiddush Levana:

One may not say Kiddush Levana during the seven days of mourning if the period of mourning will end before the 10th night of the month.

One may say Kiddush Levana within the seven days of mourning if the mourning period will end past the 15th night of the month.

It is disputed if one may say Kiddush Levana within the seven days if it will end on the 10th night or onwards, prior to the 15th. One is to be lenient in months that are rainy and cloudy and there is chance that one may lose the opportunity to say Kiddush Levana.

When a mourner says Kiddush Levana within his seven days of mourning is he to say it outside under the sky or in his house near a window? Some Poskim rule the mourner may leave his house to say Kiddush Levana. Other Poskim rule it is to be said inside the house near a window if it is possible to see the moon from there. If this is not possible then it may be said outside.

May an Avel during Shiva say Kiddush Levana with the Minyan/congregation? Some Poskim rule it is permitted for him to say Kiddush Levana together with the congregation. Other Poskim however rule he is to say it without a Minyan. [Practically, one may be lenient to say it with a Minyan in order to recite the Kaddish afterwards.]

May an Avel during Shiva say Shalom Aleichem in the Nussach of Kiddush Levana? No.

1. Kerias Shema Sheal Hamita:

The mourners, and all those residing in the Shiva home, are to recite Kerias Shema Sheal Hamita as on days that Tachanun is omitted.

4. Kerias Hatorah during Shiva:
5. Is an Avel obligated in hearing Kerias Hatorah?

An Avel is obligated to hear Kerias Hatorah, just like anyone else.

Must an Avel stand upon seeing a Sefer Torah being moved? Yes.

Keil Erech Apayim: The prayer of Keil Erech Apayim normally recited prior to taking out the Sefer Torah on Mondays and Thursdays is not recited in the Shiva home.

1. May a Sefer Torah be brought to the house of an Avel during Shiva?

The custom is to bring the Sefer Torah to the house of the Avel for the Shiva prayers.

The Sefer Torah must be set up in an ark some time prior to the Keriah and remain there for at least one to two days.

Must one read from the Sefer Torah three times? It is not required to read from the Sefer Torah on three different occasions, and hence one is not required to make a Minyan in the Shiva home also on Shabbos for Shacharis or Mincha, in order to have three readings. However, some Poskim are stringent in this matter and accordingly rule that in addition to reading on Mondays and Thursdays, the Shiva home must also arrange a Minyan on Shabbos for the Torah reading.

1. Receiving an Aliyah:

It is forbidden for an Avel to receive an Aliyah throughout Shiva. This applies even if the Avel is a Kohen and there is no other Kohen available in the Minyan. [Rather a Yisrael is to be called up in his place. Initially, it is best for the Kohen to leave the room in such a case.]

If the Avel was accidently called up for an Aliyah during the week, is he to go up? No. This applies even if he is a Kohen. However, some Poskim rule he is to go up for the Aliyah.

If the Minyan is made up of Aveilim, may an Avel receive an Aliyah? Yes.

May an Avel during Shiva be a Gabbai and give out the Aliyos? Some write that he is to avoid doing so.

May an Avel during Shiva receive an Aliyah if he has a Chiyuv, such as a Yartzite, or a Baal Bris, and the like? Some Poskim rule he may not receive an Aliyah even on Shabbos. Other Poskim rule he may receive an Aliyah on Shabbos.

May an Avel receive an Aliyah on the 7th day of Aveilus if it falls on a Monday, Thursday or fast day? The Avel may not receive an Aliyah by Shacharis unless he was already comforted and got up from Shiva. In the event that he has a Yartzite on that day, or other Chiyuv, he is to have the comforters comfort him before Shacharis, or before Kerias Hatorah, and then rise from Aveilus. He may then get an Aliya by Shacharis. The Avel may receive an Aliyah by Mincha. 

On Shabbos: It is forbidden for an Avel to receive an Aliyah even on Shabbos. If, however, he is the only Kohen [or Levi] available in the Minyan, then he may receive an Aliyah. [Some Poskim however rule that it best for the Kohen to leave the Shul and have a Yisrael called up in his place if this is not an uncommon practice in the Minyan. It is however disputed amongst Poskim if this likewise applies to a Levi.] In any case in which not getting an Aliyah on Shabbos will cause the mourning to be publicized to the Minyan, then it is an obligation for him to get an Aliyah. Thus, if the Avel was accidently called up for an Aliyah on Shabbos, he must go up. Likewise, if he is accustomed to always receive a certain Aliyah, then he must go up for that Aliyah even if the Gabbai does not call him by name.

May an Avel receive an Aliyah on Shabbos day if it is the 7th day of Aveilus? Although from the letter of the law he is allowed to receive an Aliyah during Shacharis, practically, he is not to do so. He may receive an Aliyah by Mincha. 

May a Chasan get an Aliyah to the Torah during Sheva Brachos? The Chasan may receive an Aliya to the Torah on Shabbos, as is regularly done.

May an Avel prior to Shiva receive an Aliyah during Simchas Torah? Yes. However, some write he is not to be called up as one of the five required Aliyos.

May an Avel during Shiva read the Torah? An Avel may not read the Torah even on Shabbos. If an Avel is the set Baal Korei in Shul for Shabbos, he is to avoid Davening in that Shul during Shiva. In the event that there is no other Baal Korei available, the Avel may read the Torah for the congregation. This applies both on Shabbos and during the week.

May an Avel during Shiva perform Hagba/Gelila/Pesicha? Yes. If the Avel does Hagba, he may afterwards sit down on a chair with the Sefer Torah.

 

1. The half Kaddish-Is an Avel during Shiva to recite the half Kaddish after the reading?

Some Poskim rule an Avel during Shiva is not to recite the Half Kaddish that follows Kerias Hatorah, even if he is generally accustomed to do so during the mourning period. Others rule the Avel may recite it, and so is the Chabad custom.

5. Davening during the year of Aveilus:
6. The Mitzvah for the son of the deceased to lead the prayers:

An Avel [who is the son of the deceased, whether the deceased is his father or mother], is to lead the prayers as Chazan for every weekday prayer, if he knows how to do so. Having the Avel [for a parent] lead the prayers is of greater benefit [to the deceased] than the saying of Kaddish Yasom.

Learning Torah and performing charity and good deeds is of even greater benefit for the soul than Kaddish Yasom and leading the prayers, as Kaddish Yasom was mainly instituted for children [under Bar Mitzvah], and hence one must place his emphasis mainly on these activities.

How many sons of the deceased are to lead the prayers?  If possible, all the sons of the deceased are to lead all the prayers throughout the entire Shiva and the first 11 months.

May an Avel move to an area without a Minyan if he is doing so for reasons of Parnasa? Yes. One may move cities for Parnasa purposes even if it will cause him to be unable to say Kaddish and lead the Minyan as Chazan. Nevertheless, he is to hire another person in his place, and if he has a strong level of Bitachon, should trust that Hashem will provide him with his needs in his area.

Should an Avel work in Shlichus, or teaching Torah, if it will come in the expense of Davening with a Minyan? Yes. The merit that spreading Torah gives the soul of the deceased is much greater than the Kaddish. One is therefore to hire someone to say Kaddish on his behalf and he is to continue his spreading of Torah.

May an Avel Daven past Zeman Tefila [but before Chatzos] for the sake of leading the Minyan? Some Poskim rule it is permitted to do so. Other Poskim, however, rule that one may not do so and is rather to Daven in private prior to Zeman Tefila, and say the Kaddeishim with the later Minyan.

From when should the Avel lead the prayers for Shacharis? From Hodu, which is the beginning of Pesukei Dezimra.

 

1. Other relatives [i.e. brother/father of deceased] leading the prayers:

The custom is to allow a mourner of any type to lead the prayers even during Shiva. Furthermore, just as some mourners take upon themselves to say the Kaddish for relatives other than a parent, so too they are to endeavor to Daven for the Amud, and so was the custom of the Rebbe in 1988.

Is one who was hired to say Kaddish on behalf of the deceased to also strive to lead the prayers as Chazan? Yes.

Is a grandson to strive to lead the Amud as Chazan for a deceased grandparent, if there are no sons who are able to lead the Amud? If the deceased does not have a son who can lead the Amud, then a grandson, whether of the son or daughter, is to Daven as Chazan on his behalf. This applies even if the grandson cannot say Kaddish for his grandfather being that his parents are alive.

1. Ashreiy and Uva Letziyon:

An Avel [for a parent] who does not know how to lead the prayers, is at the very least to try to lead the prayers for [Ashreiy] Lamnatzeiach and Uva Letziyon.

1. Maariv of Motzei Shabbos:

An Avel is to especially try to lead the prayers as Chazan by the Maariv prayer of Motzei Shabbos.

1. The period of time that the Avel leads the prayers for:

Start: A son is to lead the prayers as Chazan starting from immediately after the burial, from the first day of Shiva and onwards

End: The Avel is to stop reciting Kaddish and Davening for the Amud on the last day of the 11th month; for example if the Yahrzeit is the 10th of Shevat then Kaddish is recited until the 9th of Shevat, including the 9th of Shevat. See Q&A regarding whether one may lead the prayers during the 12th month.

May an Avel lead the prayers as Chazan during the 12th month? Weekday: One is not to lead the prayers even for Pesukei Dezimra. Shabbos: No, as explained in Halacha 2A!

Lechayim: Some are accustomed to make a Lechayim in Shul on the day they finish reciting Kaddish and Davening for the Amud.

1. Yahrzeit:

Each year, on the day of the Yahrzeit of a father or mother, the son is to lead the entire prayer as Chazan, if he knows how.

1. Shabbos and Yom Tov:

It is customary [amongst Ashkenazi Jewry] for an Avel [of a father or mother or of other relatives] not to lead the prayers as Chazan on Shabbos or Yom Tov [throughout the Shiva and the mourning period of Shloshim or 12 months]. One is not to lead the prayers for even Pesukei Dezimra. If there is no better Chazan available, then an Avel may lead the prayers even within Shloshim. Sephardim, however, do not follow the above custom, and hence lead the prayers even on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Mincha Erev Shabbos: The Avel is to lead the prayers also for Mincha of Erev Shabbos, even if it is being prayed very close to Shabbos.

Kabalas Shabbos: It is customary for the Avel not to lead the prayers even for Kabalas Shabbos [prior top Maariv].

What is the law during the 13th month of a leap year? If the year one’s parents passed away is a leap year, then after 12 months the son may Daven for the Amud on Shabbos/Yom Tov even though it is still prior to the first Yahrzeit.

Yahrzeit: If one has a Yahrzeit of one parent on Shabbos or Yom Tov during the 12 months of Aveilus for another parent [or during Shloshim of other relative] he is nevertheless to Daven for the Amud as usual. When the Yahrzeit falls on Erev Shabbos, or Shabbos, one says the Kaddish Yasom that follows the psalm of Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabbos which concludes Kabalas Shabbos. [Many are accustomed to also Daven for the Amud for Kabalas Shabbos.]

1. Chol Hamoed:

An Avel does not lead the prayers on Chol Hamoed, just like he does not lead the prayers on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

1. Rosh Chodesh:

A mourner [during Shiva and during the first eleven months of mourning] does not lead the prayers on Rosh Chodesh, or on any day which has a Musaf service. This restriction applies even to Maariv and Minchah of Rosh Chodesh.

If an Avel has a Yahrzeit on a day that he is not meant to daven for the Amud, such as Rosh Chodesh or Shabbos, what is he to do? He is to Daven for the Amud as usual.

 

1. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur:

It is forbidden for an Avel to Daven for the Amud on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. However, if he is the set Chazan, then See Volume 2 Chapter 25 Halacha 3!

 

1. Days of Selichos-Aseres Yimei Teshuvah:

An Avel may be Chazan during the days of Selichos, including Erev Rosh Hashanah and Erev Yom Kippur. See Volume 2 Chapter 25 Halacha 3!

 

1. Chanukah:

A mourner who is within 30 days of mourning for a relative, or within 12 months of mourning for a parent, may lead the services on Chanukah, except for the reading of Hallel.

He is however to say the Kaddish after Hallel.

On Rosh Chodesh, however, and likewise on any day on which Musaf is said, he does not lead the services, even at Minchah or Maariv.

May one who has a Yahrzeit on Chanukah lead the Hallel? Yes.

 

1. Purim:

The Chabad custom is for the mourner of a parent to lead the prayers on Purim. However some are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on Purim.

 

1. Tishe Beav:

The custom is for the mourner of a parent to lead the prayers on Tishe Beav, and so is the Chabad custom. However, some write he is not to do so, just like by a Yom Tov.

1. Days Tachanun is omitted-Lag Baomer; Tu Beshvat; Tu Beav; Purim Katan; Pesach Sheyni; Erev Shabbos by Mincha:

The mourner of a parent is to lead the prayers even on days that Tachanun is omitted, with exception to days that Musaf is recited, and so is the Chabad custom.  However some are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on all days that Lamnatzeiach [and Tachanun] is omitted.

6. The order of Kadima/precedence for Chazan:

At times, there may be several people who desire to Daven for the Amud simultaneously, and therefore the laws of precedence for a Chazan were enacted to avoid dispute.

One who “steals” another’s precedence of Chazan: A person who forcibly takes the Amud from an Avel who receives the Halachic right of precedence, does not give any merit to his deceased relative and all the merit goes to the soul of the other person whose son was meant to lead the prayers. This is similar to one who stole his friends Karban and sacrificed it, in which case his friend is Yotzei his obligation.

If two individuals are of equal status: In all cases that the two individuals are of equal status of Chiyuv, then they are to make a compromise, or have a raffle made to choose who will receive what.

The following is the order of precedence regarding the rights to be the Chazan:

1. Person within Shiva
2. Yahrzeit
3. Person within Shloshim
4. Person within year of Aveilus

Guest: A guest that is not a Shul member, or regular attendee, does not receive precedence over a Shul member or regular attendee; with exception to if the guest is within Shiva [level 1] in which case he receives precedence over all lower level Chiyuvim. Nevertheless, the custom is to give the guest to Daven for some of the three prayers of that day in case he is of equal or higher level than the member.

Son: One who is not the son of the deceased does not receive precedence over a son even if he is of a higher level. Thus one who desires to Daven on the Yahrzeit of his deceased son, grandfather, or brother r”l does not receive precedence of a person within his year of Aveilus for a parent.

7. Nesias Kapayim-A Kohen who is an Avel:

Onen: An Onen does not perform Nesias Kapayim even on Yom Tov. [This applies even in Jerusalem. This applies even if he was asked to perform Nesias Kapayim.]

Buried during Yom Tov: Even in the event that one buried his relative on Yom Tov [i.e. Chol Hamoed], and will not begin Aveilus until after Yom Tov, he is not to perform Nesias Kapayim on Yom Tov.

During Shiva: An Avel does not perform Nesias Kapayim during Shiva.

During Aveilus period [i.e. Shloshim and 12 months]: The Ashkenazi custom is that a mourner who is a Kohen does not perform Nesias Kapayim throughout the mourning period, which is within 12 months for the passing of a mother or father, and within thirty days for the passing of other relatives. This applies even if the Avel is the only Kohen present in the Minyan. This applies even on Yomim Tovim. This applies only in areas that are accustomed to performing Nesias Kapayim only on Yom Tov. However, those areas that are accustomed to performing Nesias Kapayim daily [or every Shabbos], such as in Eretz Yisrael, the Avel is to do so after the completion of Shiva even though he is within his period of mourning.

Leaving Shul: In all the above cases, the Avel is obligated to exit the Shul prior to the Chazan calling the Kohanim. The Avel is to exit the Shul prior to Ritzei. If the Shul is accustomed to have someone tell the Kohanim to go wash hands, then they are to leave the Shul prior to this being said.

If someone told the Avel to do Nesias Kapayim: If the Kohen who is an Avel was told prior to the conclusion of Birchas Havoda [i.e. Ritzei] to perform Nesias Kapayim, or to wash hands, he is obligated to perform Nesias Kapayim. [This applies even during Shiva. However, it does not apply to one who is in a state of Aninus.]

8. Kerias Hatorah:

The following Halachos relate to the period after Shiva. Regarding the laws relevant to the period of Shiva-see Halacha 4!

1. Getting an Aliya:

The Avel should endeavor to receive an Aliyah to the Torah by all opportunities [on all the days of Torah reading, including Monday’s, Thursday’s, Shabbos, and fast days]. On Shabbos, he is to endeavor to receive an Aliyah both by Shacharis and Mincha. [Seemingly this applies up until 11 months from the passing.]

Reading from the Torah: The Avel should endeavor to read the Torah on all the days of Torah reading, which are on Monday’s, Thursday’s, and Shabbos by Mincha, [and Shabbos by Shacharis, and fast days].

 

1. The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah:

An Avel, and Baal Yahrzeit, is to endeavor to recite the half Kaddish after the Torah reading, even if they did not receive an Aliya, and are not the Baal Korei.

May a child in Aveilus recite the half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah? A child who is in Aveilus is not to say the half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah.

If there are a number of Aveilim present, which Avel is to recite the half Kaddish? One is to follow the laws of precedence brought in Halacha 4, which is 1) Yahrzeit; 2) Shloshim 3) Within the year.

1. Maftir:

It is customary for an Avel over the passing of a parent to recite the Maftir from the Navi [on Shabbos, Yom Tov, and fast days]. In the event that there is more than one mourner present, one is to follow the laws of precedence lineated earlier in Halacha 4 regarding Davening for the Amud. If applicable, one is to make more than one Minyan of Keriah for the various Aveilim. In the event that the Avel cannot receive Maftir, he is to endeavor to receive a different Aliyah.

The time period: Ideally, the Maftir is meant to be recited throughout the 12 months, just as is the ideal law regarding Kaddish, however the custom is to only recite it for 11 months from the passing, just as is the custom regarding Kaddish.

Must the Gabbai give Maftir to the Avel? No. While it is proper and respectful to do so, a person who is an Avel is not considered an actual Chiyuv that he has to receive the Aliyah of Maftir. It is thus permitted for the Gabbai to sell the Aliyah.

Who receives precedence if both an Avel and a Yahrzeit want Maftir? A person with a Yahrzeit that week receives precedence over an Avel within the year, even if he is within Shloshim.

Not to quarrel: One is not to quarrel over any Mitzvah, even if it is a Biblical command, and is certainly not to quarrel over the receiving of Maftir. Through avoiding dispute, one will cause a greater Iluiy Neshamah than even the Maftir itself.

 

9. Mishnayos after Davening:

The Chabad custom is for an Avel [over the passing of a parent] to recite Mishnayos after Davening of each prayer [Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv] during Shiva, and throughout the 11 months, and on the Yahrzeit.

For how long: The Mishnayos is studied and recited after Davening up until the end of the saying of Kaddish at the end of eleven months.

What to study: The Avel studies the entire chapter 24 in Keilim and the entire chapter 7 in Mikvaos.

The order of study: The Mishnayos are to be studied prior to Davening and are only concluded at the end of Davening. After the reading of the daily Tehillim by Shacharis, and after the last Kaddish Yasom by Mincha and Maariv, the Avel reads the last Mishnah of Mikvaos chapter 7 aloud, beginning from the word Machat, and concluding with the Agadic saying of Rebbe Chanania. This is then followed by a few lines of Tanya which are said quietly, and then Kaddish Derabanan. The Rebbe’s custom, and so is the widespread Chabad custom, was to say the words in Tanya chapter 2 “Vinefesh Hasheinis Beyisrael Hi Chelek Eloka Mimal Mamash” and then wipe his forehead with his finger, and then begin Kaddish Derabanan.

During Shiva: During Shiva, the Avel does not recite Mishnayos after Davening, due to his prohibition against learning Torah. Rather, one Mishnah is read aloud and the Avel then says Kaddish Derabanan. [The custom is to have another person in the Minyan, who is not an Avel, recite the last Mishnah of Mikvaos chapter 7 and the Agadic saying of Rebbe Chanania aloud, which is then followed by Kaddish Derabanan by the mourner. This applies even on Shabbos during the Shiva.]

Is a child who says Kaddish for a parent to also say the Mishnayos and Kaddish that follows? Yes.

On Tishe Beav, may an Avel recite Mishanyos after Davening as he does throughout the regular year? After Maariv and Shacharis on Tishe Beav, the Avel is to recite the Mishnayos of Moed Katan, saying the last Mishnah of the third chapter. [He is not to conclude with the teaching of Rebbe Chananya, and is to begin straight with Kaddish after concluding the Mishnah.] After Mincha of Tishe Beav, the Avel is to recite the normal Mishanyos and saying of Rebbe Chananya that he recites throughout the year.

Mincha Erev Tishe Beav: The Avel is to recite the Mishnayos of Moed Katan, saying the last Mishnah of the third chapter. [He is not to say conclude with the teaching of Rebbe Chananya, and is to begin straight with Kaddish after concluding the Mishnah.] Some however write that the regular Mishnayos may be recited.

Erev Tishe Beav falls on Shabbos: When Erev Tishe Beav falls on Shabbos, seemingly he is to recite the regular Mishnayos after Mincha. However, some Rabbanim write that even in such a case he is to recite the Mishnayos of Moed Katan.

10. Lighting candles:

It is customary for the Avel who is leading the prayers as Chazan to light five candles during the services [of Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv]. The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan. The Avel is to personally light these candles and not use candles that were lit by another person. In the event that the Avel is not leading the prayers, nevertheless the five candles are to be lit if the Avel is participating in the Minyan.

If there is no Avel participating in the Minyan, only two candles are lit.

Mincha Erev Shabbos and Maariv Motzei Shabbos: The widespread custom is not to light candles by Mincha of Erev Shabbos and Maariv of Motzei Shabbos.

11. Charity by prayer:

One is to donate money to charity before or after each prayer, in merit of the deceased. It is better to donate a small sum of coins each day than to give a single lump sum. The amount given should be varied each time, so it does not enter the status of a vow. The accumulated moneys should be distributed to various charities on the eve of the following Rosh Chodesh.

12. The laws of Kaddish:
13. The Mitzvah:

It is customary to say the Kaddish on behalf of one’s father and mother for a period of 11 months. A son who says Kaddish for his father fulfills the positive command of Kibbud Av Vaeim, which applies even after death. A son is to be informed immediately upon the passing of a parent in order so he can begin saying Kaddish. It is of even greater benefit [for the soul of the deceased] for a son to lead the prayers as Chazan, than to say Kaddish Yasom, which was instituted for children [below Bar Mitzvah, who cannot yet Daven for the Amud]. Learning Torah and performing charity and good deeds is of even greater benefit for the soul than Kaddish Yasom and leading the prayers, as Kaddish Yasom was mainly instituted for children [under Bar Mitzvah], and hence one must place his emphasis mainly on these activities.

The Kavana in saying Kaddish: When saying Kaddish, one is not to intend to say it in order to protect the soul of the deceased, but rather to sanctify Hashem’s name, and the protection will come consequently. Each time he says Kaddish he is to have in mind to fulfill the Mitzvah of honoring his parents.

May an Avel move to an area without a Minyan if he is doing so for reasons of Parnasa? Yes. One may move for Parnasa purposes even if it will cause him to be unable to say Kaddish and lead the Minyan as Chazan. Nevertheless, he is to hire another person in his place, and if he has a strong level of Bitachon, he should trust that Hashem will provide him with his needs in his current area which contains a Minyan.

Should an Avel continue to work in Shlichus, or teaching Torah, if it will come in the expense of Davening with a Minyan? Yes. The merit that spreading Torah gives the soul of the deceased is much greater than the Kaddish. If necessary, one is to therefore hire someone to say Kaddish instead of him and continue, and even add, in his spreading Torah.

1. Who is to say Kaddish?

Children of deceased saying Kaddish: The main Mitzvah of Kaddish is upon the son to say Kaddish on behalf of his mother or father who passed away. A son is to say Kaddish even on behalf of a father who was a Mumar.

Other relative saying Kaddish: Today that the custom is for everyone to say Kaddish together, anyone can say Kaddish on behalf of any deceased person, so long as his parents have passed away or are Mochel, as explained below. If, however, the deceased has a son saying Kaddish for him, other relatives do not recite it. If, however, there are no sons saying Kaddish, then other relatives may recite it. See Q&A regarding which relatives receive precedence in saying Kaddish in such a case.

Talmid/Student: A main student [Talmud Muvhak] may recite Kaddish after the passing of his Rebbe.

Person with parents saying Kaddish: It is forbidden for one whose parents are alive to recite Kaddish Yasom on behalf of a deceased friend or relative unless the parents are Mochel. [However, he may recite Kaddish Derabanan. Practically, even if the parents are Mochel, he is not to recite Kaddish. If, however, one parent has passed away, he may recite Kaddish if the other parent is Mochel.]

How many sons of the deceased are to say Kaddish? All the sons of the deceased are to say Kaddish and lead all the prayers throughout the entire Shiva and the first 11 months.

Is a son below Bar Mitzvah, or below Chinuch, to say Kaddish on behalf of a deceased parent? Yes, and on the contrary, the Kaddish was specifically established for Yesomim that are below the age of Mitzvos. [If the child is too young to say it alone, an adult is to help him say it and have him repeat after him.]

May a daughter of the deceased recite Kaddish Yasom? Some Poskim rule that there is no place, or purpose, in having a daughter recite Kaddish for her parent and doing so is foolish and a mockery. Other Poskim rule that from the letter of the law, a daughter of the deceased may recite Kaddish by a Minyan of men if the parent did not leave any male children. Nevertheless, practically, this is not to be done. In all cases of doubt, one is to contact the Rav of that community.

Is a grandson to say Kaddish for a grandparent if there are no sons saying Kaddish? If the deceased did not leave a son to say Kaddish for him, then a grandson, whether the son of his son or the son of his daughter, is to say Kaddish on his behalf. This however is only allowed if the grandson does not have any parents, or his parents are Mochel and allow him to say Kaddish for the grandfather. If, however, his father or mother is Makpid, he may not say it. If both parents are alive, many are accustomed not to say Kaddish even if both parents are Mochel.

If there are no sons of the deceased, which relative receives precedence to recite the Kaddish? The grandson receives precedence over all other relatives, including even the husband of the deceased. The husband is to recite Kaddish, if his wife did not leave any sons. The son in-law receives precedence over a brother [or father] of the deceased. The father receives precedence over the brothers. In all the above cases, this only applies if his parents are not alive. If one of his parents are alive, he is to ask him/her permission. If both parents are alive, he is not to recite Kaddish.

May one say Kaddish for the passing of an adopted parent? Yes, an adopted son is to say Kaddish if there are no sons saying Kaddish for him.

May a Ger say Kaddish for his gentile parent? Yes. However, he is to try to do so inconspicuously.

May one say Kaddish on behalf of two deceased relatives? Yes. Thus, a grandson may say Kaddish on behalf of his parent and grandparent. This especially applies if otherwise one will need to hire a non-relative to say Kaddish. 

Is Kaddish recited for a son who passed away below age 20? Yes.

Is Kaddish recited for a child who passed away below Bar Mitzvah? Kaddish can be recited on behalf of a child of any age who passed away r”l, as long as the child was over 30 days old.

Who is to say the Kaddish? It is best for the father of the child to recite Kaddish for his son or daughter if the father’s parents are not alive. If his parents are alive, then he is not to say Kaddish and rather another person is to be hired to do so, unless his parents are Mochel. [Nevertheless, some are accustomed that a father never says Kaddish on behalf of his child. Practically, the son is not to say Kaddish if both of his parents are alive, even if they are Mochel.]

May a father recite Kaddish on behalf of a son or daughter r”l? If the deceased did not leave a son or grandson to say Kaddish for him then it is best for the father to say Kaddish on his behalf if he does not have any parents, or his parents are Mochel and allow him to say Kaddish for their grandchild. [Nevertheless, some are accustomed that a father never says Kaddish on behalf of his child. Practically, the son is not to say Kaddish if both of his parents are alive, even if they are Mochel.]

Hiring a person to say Kaddish for the deceased: The family of a deceased individual who does not have a relative who will be saying Kaddish for him, may hire a person to say the Kaddish throughout the year. This applies even if the deceased has a son, but the son is unable to say Kaddish, such as he lives in an area without a Minyan.

Saying Lilui Nishmas: Each morning, the hired man is to say that all the Kaddeishim of that day are for the soul of Plony Ben Plony.

Payment versus favor: It is better for the son to pay a person to say the Kaddish rather than to find someone who will say it for free.

Saying Kaddish for more than one person? There is no issue for one to say Kaddish on behalf of two deceased people. However, some Poskim limit this to not more people than the amount of Kaddeishim that one says per day. For example, if he says 10 Kaddeishim per day, he may not be hired for more than 10 people.

Saying in 12th month: See Halacha 3B!

1. The period of time that Kaddish is said:

Start: The Chabad custom is for a son to begin to recite Kaddish on behalf of a deceased father [or mother] immediately upon hearing of the news of the passing, even prior to the burial, while in the state of Aninus. A son is to be informed immediately upon the passing of a parent in order so he can begin saying Kaddish.

End: The custom is to only recite Kaddish for a period of 11 months [from the passing]. The Avel is to stop reciting Kaddish on the last day of the 11th month; for example if the Yahrzeit is the 10th of Shevat then Kaddish is recited until the 9th of Teves, including the 9th of Teves. [This applies even in a leap year.

Even during the 12th month, participating in the Minyan and answering Amen to Kaddish helps elevate and effect the Neshamah of the Niftar.

How does one calculate the end of the eleven months for Kaddish-from the time of death or the time of burial? Some Poskim rule that the eleven months of Kaddish is counted from the day of burial. Other Poskim rule it is counted from the day of the death. Practically, one is to follow the day of death.  

How does one calculate the end of the eleven months for Kaddish if one was in a different time zone at the time of death? In the event that the Avel and the deceased were in different time zones at the time of death, the custom regarding Kaddish is to follow the time zone of the deceased with regards to starting the count of the eleven months.

Is one who is not a child of the deceased [such as a hired person] to recite Kaddish for 11 or 12 months? The custom is to recite it for only 11 months. Nevertheless, some write he may/should recite it for 12 months. Practically, we follow the former opinion.

If one did not begin saying Kaddish after the burial, for how long is Kaddish to be recited? It is only recited until 11 months from the day of death, even if he only began saying Kaddish on the last day of the 11th month.

May the Avel recite Kaddish Derabanan in the 12th month? Some Poskim rule he may recite Kaddish Derabanan even in the 12th month. Other Poskim however rule he is not to recite it.

Lechayim: Some are accustomed to make Lechayim in Shul on the day they finish reciting Kaddish.

Shabbos/Yom Tov: Aveilim say Kaddish even on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Yahrzeit: Each year on the day of the Yahrzeit of a father or mother, the son is to recite Kaddish Yasom.

If there is no Chiyuvim in Shul: In the event that there are no Chiyuvim in Shul, a person whom both his father and mother have deceased is to recite Kaddish Yasom on behalf of all the dead of Israel.

1. How many Kaddeishim is the Avel to recite per day?

Initially, it was established for a Yasom to recite only the last Kaddish [prior to Aleinu]. Nevertheless, some mourners are accustomed to be particular to recite eight Kaddeishim per day. The Chabad custom is for the Avel to recite 16 Kaddeishim per day [i.e. per 24 hours]. This is with exception to Shabbos and Yom Tov. There is no issue with the Avel saying more than 16 Kaddeishim per day. If one already Davened and said 16 Kaddeishim that day, there is no need for him to say Kaddish if he is by a different Minyan. If the Avel leads all three prayers as Chazan then he has a total of 17 Kaddeishim that he says. If he does not lead the prayers then he is to make up the number of 16 Kaddeishim through joining other Minyanim, or through saying Mishnayos and Kaddish following it.

1. The areas in prayer that Kaddish is recited by an Avel:

The Yasom customarily recites every Kaddish Yasom and Derabanon that is positioned throughout the prayer. However, the main Kaddish that belongs to a Yasom is the last Kaddish said before Aleinu, as stated above. The spread of the Kaddeishim differs according to the Nussach of prayer.

According to the Chabad Nussach, the following Kaddeishim are recited by an Avel by Shacharis:

1. Kaddish Derabanan before Hodu.
2. Kaddish Yasom after Shir Shel Yom.
3. Kaddish Derabanan before Aleinu.
4. Kaddish Yasom after Aleinu.
5. Kaddish Yasom after Tehillim [explained next].
6. Kaddish Derabanan after Mishnayos [explained next].

By Mincha and Maariv the following Kaddeishim are recited by an Avel:

1. Kaddish Yasom after Aleinu.
2. Kaddish Derabanan after Mishnayos [explained next]

Kaddish after Tehillim: It is proper for the Aveilim to recite chapters of Tehillim [with a Minyan] every day throughout the year, and then recite Kaddish [Yasom] afterwards.

Kaddish after Mishnayos: The Chabad custom is for an Avel [of a parent] to recite Mishnayos after Davening of each prayer [Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv] during Shiva and throughout the 11 months and on the Yahrzeit, as explained in Chapter 25 Halacha 8. This is then followed by Kaddish Derabanan.

The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah? The Chabad custom is for an Avel, and Baal Yahrzeit, to endeavor to recite the half Kaddish after the Torah reading. In a case of dispute, or when Davening in a Shul with a different custom, the Kaddish is to be recited by the Baal Korei. See chapter 25 Halacha 7B for the full details of this subject

Kabalas Shabbos: The Avel is not to recite the half Kaddish or Barchu at the conclusion of Maariv on Friday night, and it is rather to be recited by the Chazan.

Kiddush Levana: The custom is to recite Kaddish Yasom at the conclusion of Kiddush Levana, and so is the Chabad custom.

Tehillim Shabbos Mevarchim:  The Rebbe Rayatz instituted that the entire Tehillim be recited prior to Shacharis on Shabbos Mevarchim. If there is a Chiyuv present [an Avel within 11 months of a parents passing or one who has a Yahrzeit of a parent that day] then Kaddish is to be recited after each Sefer. If a Chiyuv is not present, then Kaddish is not to be recited between each Sefer, although at the conclusion of the entire Tehillim, Kaddish is to be recited by one who does not have any parents.

F. General laws of Kaddish:

Pronunciation: One is to be careful to verbalize the words of Kaddish slowly and properly and not swallow the words. One is to say Yisgadal and not Yiskadal; Yisbareich with only a small emphasis on the Beis so it does not sound like Yispareich. Yis-halal with an emphasis on the Hei so it does not sound like Yischalal.

Oseh Hashalom during Aseres Yimei Teshuvah: During the Ten days of Repentance, at the conclusion of Kaddish one says “Oseh Hashalom” in place of “Oseh Shalom.”

Placing feet together and facing Mizrach: The custom is to proximate the feet together while saying Kaddish, just like by Shemoneh Esrei.  [Likewise, due to this reason, it is forbidden to walk in front of a person saying Kaddish. This applies until after the words Deamiran Bealma. Likewise, the custom is to face Mizrach while saying Kaddish, just like by Shemoneh Esrei.]

Bowing during Kaddish: It is customary that the Chazan bow five times during Kaddish. He is to bow in the following places: 1) Yisgadal; 2) Yehei Shmei Raba; 3) Yisbareich; 4) Brich Hu; 5) Amen [of Damiran Bealma]. [Other Poskim however rule one is to bow by the concluding words recited prior to the first five Amen’s in Kaddish as well as by two additional areas. Practically, however, the Chabad custom is to bow by the following areas of Kaddish: 1) Shmei Raba; 2) Vikareiv Mishichei; 3) Veimru Amen; 4) While saying Yehei Shmei Raba until the word Yisbarech. One lifts the head momentarily after saying Veimru Amen and then re-bows it by Yihei Shmei Raba, and then lifts it again momentarily after Yisbarech and then re-bows it for; 5) VeYishtabach.. until the word Viyis-halal. One lifts the head momentarily after saying Viyishalal and then re-bows it by 6) Shmei Dekudsha Brich Hu; 7) Veimru Amen. In Kaddish Tiskabel the head is slightly bowed when concluding Veimru Amen of Tiskabel.]

Oseh Shalom: After the completion of Kaddish [prior to Sim Shalom] the custom is to take three steps back and then recite Oseh Shalom Bimiromav, just as is done at the conclusion of Shemoneh Esrei. One is to bow to his sides upon saying it, as is similarly done by Oseh Shalom of Shemoneh Esrei. The Chabad custom is to turn and bow the head first to the right, when saying Oseh Shalom, then to the center when saying Hu, and then to the left while saying Yaaseh Shalom Aleinu, and then to the center when saying Veal Kol Yisrael. One is not to begin saying the words of Oseh Shalom until he completes taking three steps back. Seemingly, one is to move his right foot first and only then his left, just as he first bows to his right.

How is one to bow during Kaddish? One simply nods his head downwards, and does not bow his entire body as is done during Shemoneh Esrei.

To which direction is a lefty to bow first, and which foot does he move first by Kaddish? Seemingly one who is left footed, he is to take three steps back with his left foot first. Likewise, one who is left handed should first bow to his left.

May more than one person say Kaddish if there is exactly a Minyan of ten people present? It is permitted for many people to say Kaddish together even if there will not remain a Minyan to answer Amen. This allowance applies even if the entire Minyan is reciting Kaddish and not even one person remains to answer Amen. Nevertheless, it is best to have at least two persons, or at the very least one person, remaining who will answer Amen to all the other members of the Minyan saying Kaddish. 

When reciting Kaddish together with another person, must one recite Kaddish aloud for the congregation to hear? Some Poskim rule it is not necessary for one to recite Kaddish out loud if another person is saying the Kaddish loudly. Other Poskim however rule it is necessary for every person saying Kaddish, to say it out loud so the congregation can hear. Practically, one is to be stringent in this matter.

Must one recite every word in unison when more than one person is saying Kaddish together? It is not required to recite every single word in unison, although one is to be careful as much as possible to be in close proximity to each other. [One who is saying Kaddish fast should slow down for the person saying it slowly.]

How is one to answer Amen to Kaddish if more than one person is saying Kaddish and they are not saying it simultaneously? If they do not conclude the stanzas in Kaddish simultaneously, and there is an interval of Kdei Dibbur between the two conclusions of the blessing, then one is to answer Amen for each conclusion of the stanza. If, however, they conclude within Kdei Dibbur of each other, then one can choose when to answer Amen, either with the first person concluding, or the second person concluding, and the Amen counts for them all. Some Poskim however rule that if one person can be clearly heard while the second is at a distance and cannot be heard well, then one is to answer only to the person who is closest to him and who he heard clearly.

May Kaddish Derabanan of before Hodu be recited after Baruch Sheamar? Before Baruch Sheamar: If one did not have a Minyan available at the time that Kaddish Derabanon is recited before Hodu, and a Minyan later became available before Baruch Sheamar, the Kaddish may still be recited. [It is not to be recited between the end of Mizmor Shir Chanukas Habayis, and the phrase of Hashem Melech, but rather afterword’s, before Baruch Sheamar. It is to be recited only after a number of verses have been said aloud after the Minyan has arrived. Initially three verses are to be recited aloud, although Bedieved it suffices to say two verses aloud. Alternatively, someone should repeat the saying of Davar Halameid, and Yehi Ratzon, and then say Kaddish afterwards. Alternatively, someone should say the Drasha of Rebbe Chanania Ben Akashya Omer.]

Past Baruch Sheamar: If one did not have a Minyan available at the time that Kaddish Derabanon is recited before Hodu, and a Minyan later became available sometime during Pesukei Dezimra, then some Poskim rule the Kaddish may be recited, even if both the Minyan and the person reciting it are already past Baruch Sheamar. Other Poskim, however, rule it may not be recited after the Minyan has reached Baruch Sheamar, even if the person reciting on behalf of the Minyan is before Baruch Sheamar. [This applies even if the person saying the Kaddish is a Yasom.]

Minyan is before Baruch Sheamar-but the one saying Kaddish is after Baruch Sheamar: If the Minyan is before Baruch Sheamar, but the individual who desires to say the Kaddish is after Baruch Sheamar, he may not say this Kaddish. [If, however, he is a Yasom within 11 months of the passing of a parent, then he may recite the Kaddish even if he is past Baruch Sheamar.]

G. May one say Kaddish Yasom in the midst of Davening:

If one who generally says Kaddish is still in the midst of Davening [such as due to coming late, or due to Davening in length] and the congregation has reached the saying of Kaddish Yasom or Kaddish Derabanan, the question arises as to whether he may stop to say this Kaddish or not?

A Non-Yasom: One who is not a Yasom [not within 11 months of a parents passing] may not make an interval to recite Kaddish Yasom/Derabanan within Davening starting from Baruch Sheamar until after Shemoneh Esrei.

Pesukei Dezimra: One who is a Yasom [within 11 months of the passing of a parent] may stop to say Kaddish Yasom/Derabanan within Pesukei Dezimra. Some Poskim rule one may stop to do so even in the midst of a paragraph. Other Poskim however rule one may only do so between the paragraphs [Bein Haperakim]. [Practically, it is best to do so only between the paragraphs [Bein Haperakim].]

Birchas Shema: Some Poskim rule that the Kaddish may be recited by the Yasom even in middle of Birchas Shema [during Bein Haperakim]. Other Poskim rule one may not say Kaddish Yasom during Birchas Shema [even Bein Haperakim].

Yahrzeit: On the day of a Yahrzeit, one follows the same law as a Yasom that is within 11 months of the passing of a parent.

[1] See Tefila Kehilchasa 24