Chapter 47: Children Davening[1]

1. Are children obligated in the Mitzvah of Davening?
2. The daily prayers:[2]

Children who are above the age of Chinuch [i.e. 6-7 years old] are obligated to be educated to pray Shemoneh Esrei both by evening [i.e. Mincha and Maariv] and morning [i.e. Shacharis]. This law is only in reference to the prayer of Shemoneh Esrei, however, whether children are obligated or exempt from the other prayers which are added to Shacharis, such as Pesukei Dezimra and Shema and its blessings, will be explained each in their area.

1. Personal prayers-Educating children to Daven to Hashem for things that they want:

It is a Biblical command to Daven to Hashem in a time of need, when one is in a state of distress and requires Divine assistance. Personal prayers may be said any time he desires, and it is not necessary to recite them only in Shemoneh Esrei. Nonetheless, it is auspicious for these prayers to be recited specifically during Shemoneh Esrei during Shema Koleinu, as the blessing of Shomeia Tefila includes all of one’s requests and was instituted for this purpose. The words must be verbalized and not just said in one’s thought. [It is important that parents and educators educate children even from a young age to direct their prayers to G-d, and that G-d listens to their prayers and that they should be encouraged to request from G-d daily for things that they want the need, in addition to the regular Davening.]

Davening for healthy children that follow the path of Torah:[3] It is proper for one to Daven daily on behalf of his livelihood and that the words of Torah do not cede from his mouth or the mouth of his children, and that all of his descendants be true servants of Hashem.

Saying the Tehillim of one’s children:[4] It is an old tradition, reiterated by the Rebbe Rayatz, for one to read daily the chapter of Tehillim which corresponds to the age of one’s sons and daughters, and that doing so is a Segula so one’s child not go off the Derech.

2. Shema:[5]

Once a child has reached the age of Chinuch, it is proper to educate him in the saying of Kerias Shema and its blessings both by day and night.

Accordingly, it is proper for a father to make sure that his son recites the morning Shema before Sof Zman Kerias Shema, and that he Davens the entire Maariv, from when he reaches the age of Chinuch.

Definition of age of Chinuch:[6] The age of Chinuch is from the age that the child understands the meaning of the Mitzvah. [This is approximately from age 6-7.[7] Other Poskim[8] rule it is between age 9-10. Practically, it all depends on the child’s maturity.[9]]

If one’s child who has reached the age of Chinuch is sleeping, must he wake him up to say Shema? Some Poskim rule that in such a case one may rely on the lenient opinion stated above and not wake him.

Bedtime Shema: Children are to be educated to recite the bedtime Shema. At the very least, they are to recite the first paragraph and the verse of Beyadcha Afkid Ruchi.

3. Shemoneh Esrei of Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv:[10]

Children who are above the age of Chinuch [i.e. 6-7 years old] are obligated to be educated to pray Shemoneh Esrei both by evening [i.e. Mincha and Maariv] and morning [i.e. Shacharis]. This law is only in reference to the prayer of Shemoneh Esrei, however, whether children are obligated or exempt from the other prayers which are added to Shacharis, such as Pesukei Dezimra and Shema and its blessings, will be explained each in their area.

4. Zeman Tefila:

*See Chapter 3 for the full details of this subject!

Children are to be educated in all of the start and end times of the prayers just like adults. Thus, boys are to recite the morning Shema prior to the third hour of the day, and boys and girls are to Daven prior to the fourth hour of the day and at the very least prior to midday. Mincha should be prayed prior to sunset, and Musaf should initially be prayed prior to the seventh hour of the day.

6. Minyan:
7. Does a child join a Minyan:[11]

Children do not join a Minyan. If there are only 9 people in a Shul and there is a male child present, some Poskim allow the child to join the Minyan if he holds a Sefer Torah. From the letter of the law, one may rely on this opinion in a time of need. Practically, however, one is not to follow this opinion even in a time of need.

Age-At what age may a child join a Minyan:[12] A child must be the age of 13 and a day and have grown two pubic hairs to join a Minyan. Nevertheless, it is not necessary to check the boy to verify the growth of two hairs for the sake of having him join the Minyan, and one can assume that he has grown it once he reaches the age of 13.

1. Bringing small children to Shul:[13]

Children who are above the age of Chinuch are to be brought to Shul and educated to answer Amen and participate in the prayer. However, children who are below the age of Chinuch and run around or disturb the congregation, are not to be brought to Shul at all, and doing so is detrimental to their education. Bringing such children to Shul, asides for it disturbing the prayers and it being a desecration of the holy place, also educates them to treat a Shul improperly, and makes them continue their ways even when they become older. 

1. Kissing in a Shul:[14]

It is forbidden to kiss one’s small children in Shul. It is debated amongst Poskim if this prohibition applies also to kissing older children, relatives and friends. It is however permitted according to all to kiss a person who one is obligated to respect and honor, such as to kiss the hand of a Rav, Torah scholar, one’s father, and the like, or to give a kiss to another as a sign of admiration or gratitude. Practically, it is customary amongst many Chassidim to give a “Chassidic kiss” upon greeting a fellow Chassid or friend in Shul.

1. Answering Amen:[15]

One is to teach his young children and educate them to answer Amen. From the moment that a child answers Amen he has a portion in the world to come.

7. General prayer laws children should be educated in:

• To learn the meaning of the words of prayer.
• Using the bathroom prior to prayer.
• To wash hands prior to prayer.
• Not to touch unclean areas of the body during prayer.
• To be dressed appropriately for prayer.
• To give charity before prayer.
• How to answer Amen and not to delay answering it.
• Saying Baruch Hu Uvaruch Shemo.
• Not to talk during prayer and the detailed laws of Hefsek.
• Reciting Karbanos.
• Where to stand in Davening.
• How to take the three steps.
• Laws of Geshem and Meiyn Hameura.
• Direction of Davening.
• Where to bow in the prayer.
• Kerias Shema Al Hamita.

8. 8. Eating before Davening:[16]

*See Chapter 6 Halacha 1 for the full details of this subject!

Prior to the age of Bar/Bas Mitzvah, a child may eat prior to Davening without restriction, and may therefore eat a meal with bread and eat treats and the like and it is forbidden for a parent to oppress his child with these restrictions. Nonetheless, from age 12 and onwards for a boy, it is proper for parents to begin encouraging their child to resolve on his own not to eat unnecessary foods before Shacharis. Foods that are needed to be eaten for health purposes, and extra concentration of prayer, may be eaten even after bar Mitzvah.

9. Tzoa of a child:[17]

*See Chapter 11 for the full details of this subject!

Lechatchila: During prayer and learning it is best to distance oneself from the feces of even a one-day old child.

Letter of law: From the letter of the law, only if a child is able to eat a Kezayis of grain within Kdei Achilas Peras [4 minutes] is his feces and urine like the Tzoa of an adult. If, however, he cannot consume this amount in this amount of time, then from the letter of the law his Tzoa is Halachically meaningless. If the child was able to eat this amount even one time in his life, then even if he later became weak and can no longer do so, his Tzoa is like that of an adult. Even if the child has never eaten grain but is old enough to do so, his feces receive the same law as that of an adult.

Baby made in a diaper: If the child is not old enough to digest grain, then from the letter of the law it is permitted to daven near him even if he smells. If, however, the child is old enough to digest grains, then if it smells one must distance himself to the point that he cannot smell the Tzoa, although he does not need to distance himself four Amos from the smell, if the diaper is covered. If one does not smell anything, then if the diaper is covered one may Daven next to him.

May one Daven near a bag of used diapers? If the bag is closed, it is permitted to do so. However, this is only on condition that one does not smell the diapers.

10. Erva of a child/Katan:

The genitals of a child is not considered a Halachic Erva until the age of nine years old [for a boy and three years old for a girl]. Nonetheless, one is not to hold onto the Erva of a child while saying a blessing even if the child is a newborn.

Davening and Torah learning when one’s child is undressed: One may learn and Daven in the presence of an undressed daughter until she reaches age 3, after which one is prohibited from learning and Davening in her presence if she is undressed. Even prior to this age, one should avoid looking at her during the actual prayer or learning. By a boy, however, one has until age 9.

Child is not fully dressed: Some Poskim rule that it is permitted to learn Torah and Daven in view of a daughter [granddaughter, sister] who is not modestly covered, if the girl is below the age of adulthood, as defined above [i.e. below age 11 and has not reached puberty or maturity].  Other Poskim however argue and rule it is forbidden to Daven and learn in view of the improperly clothed female relative just like any other girl.  [Accordingly, once a daughter or sister have reached the age of three and above one may no longer Daven or learn in their view when they are not properly covered.]

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[1] See Admur 106:1-4 and 70:1-5; Kaf Hachaim 70 and 106; Piskeiy Teshuvos 70 and 106; Tefila Kehilchasa 1:8-35

[2] See Admur 106:1-4 and 70:1-5; Kaf Hachaim 70 and 106; Piskeiy Teshuvos 70 and 106; Tefila Kehilchasa 1:8-35

[3] Chayeh Adam 24:19; M”B 122:8

[4] See Igros Kodesh Rayatz 1 p. 31; Shemuos Visippurim 1 p. 168

[5] Admur 70:2

[6] Admur 343:3

[7] M”B 70:6

[8] Kesher Gudal 11:1; Shalmei Tzibur

[9] Kaf Hachaim 70:6

[10] See Admur 106:1-4 and 70:1-5; Kaf Hachaim 70 and 106; Piskeiy Teshuvos 70 and 106; Tefila Kehilchasa 1:8-35

[11] See Admur 55:5; Ketzos Hashulchan 15:1; Shulchan Menachem 1:65

[12] Admur 55:6, 12; 53:13; Ketzos Hashulchan 15:5

[13] Admur 124:10; Ketzos Hashulchan 22:3

[14] See Admur 98:1; Rama 98:1; Binyamin Zev 163 in name of Aguda; Sefer Chassidim 255; Ketzos Hashulchan 22:3; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 98:7; Pamei Yaakov 68 p. 83-87

[15] See Admur 124:10; Rama 124:7 in name of Kol Bo

[16] See Admur 106:3; M”A 106:3 and 269:3; M”B 106:5; Piskeiy Teshuvos 89:19; See also Admur 269:3; 343:7;471:10; 472:23; Tzemach Tzedek O.C. Safek Limi 4 

[17] Admur 81:1-2; Ketzos Hashulchan 10:6