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Aveilus/Mourning on Purim [1]
A. Are the mourning customs of Shiva applicable on Purim:[2]
Some opinions[3] rule that Aveilus of Shiva applies on Chanukah and Purim just like a regular weekday. Others[4] rule that all public mourning customs do not apply on both days of Purim, the 14th and 15th [see footnote[5]]. However the mourning customs practiced in private are accustomed even on Purim.[6] Practically the custom is like this latter opinion to avoid public mourning on both the 14th and 15th.[7] [This applies even according to Sefaradim.[8]] The above law applies even on the first day of mourning.[9] [The above law applies even on the night of the 14th and 15th.[10]] One is certainly to discontinue his avoidance of wearing leather shoes and is to discontinue sitting on the ground on these days. Nevertheless one is to diminish in his amount of rejoicing.[11] [For all practical purposes the customs on the 14th and 15th are similar to those accustomed on Shabbos.[12]]
Do the 14th and 15th count for Shiva? Although the public customs of Shiva are not followed on the 14th and 15th nevertheless both days count as part of the seven days of mourning, just as is the law regarding Shabbos.[13] This applies even if the person passed away [and was buried] on Purim.[14]
B. Is an Avel within Shiva to go to Shul on Purim?
An Avel is to go to Shul to hear the Megillah reading on Purim day and night.[15]
Does the above apply if he has a Minyan available at home? The above only applies if he does not have a Minyan available at home for the Megillah reading. If however there is a Minyan available then he is not to leave his house to go to Shul.[16] It is thus best for him to try to gather a Minyan at home.[17] However some[18] rule that this only applies by the night reading, however by the day reading one may go to Shul to hear Megillah even if there is a Minyan available at home. [This ruling applies even for women that are within Shiva.[19]]
May the Avel go to Shul also for the Davening or only for the Megillah reading? At night, if one does not have a Minyan at home, he may only leave his house for the Megillah reading, however regarding Maariv, he is to Daven Maariv at home without a Minyan.[20] However for Shacharis he may go to Shul for the entire Davening [if a Minyan is not available at home].[21]
Purim that falls on Motzei Shabbos:[22] When Purim falls on Motzei Shabbos the mourner is to go to Shul for Mincha and remain in Shul for Maariv and the reading of the Megillah. [If however the mourner needs to go home for Shalosh Seudos then he may not return to Shul for Maariv and Megillah reading unless a Minyan will not be available at his home for the Megillah reading in which case he is to go to Shul before the conclusion of Shabbos, prior to Barchu, and remain in Shul until after the Megillah reading.[23]]
C. Mishloach Manos for an Avel[24]:[25]
Is a mourner obligated to send Mishloach Manos: There are opinions[26] that rule a mourner is obligated to send Mishloach Manos.[27] Practically this is the final ruling.[28] This applies even if the mourner is within the days of Shiva.[29] Nevertheless a mourner is not to send foods of festivities, such as sweets and superfluous delicacies. Rather he is to send meat [and simple foods of the like].[30]
Sending Mishloach Manos to a mourner:[31] One may not send gifts or Mishloach Manos to a mourner.[32] This applies within the first twelve months of mourning [if he is mourning for his parents[33]].[34] [For other close relative this applies within the first thirty days.[35]] If the only available Jew to send Mishloach Manos to is in mourning, one may do so. If the mourner is sent a gift and he refuses to accept it, the giver has nevertheless fulfilled his obligation.[36]
Is a mourner obligated in Matanos Laevyonim?[37] A mourner is obligated to send Matanos Laevyonim. This applies even if he is within the days of Shiva.
Q&A on Mishloach Manos
If a mourner was sent Mishloach Manos may he accept it?[38]
Yes. In such a case the giver has fulfilled the Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos.
If the mourner is a pauper may he be sent gifts?[39]
One may send the mourner money, as it is no different than charity.[40] This applies even within his seven days of mourning.[41] He may even be sent food, so long as it is not superfluous delicacies.[42]
May one send Mishloach Manos to a mourner’s wife?[43]
Friends of the mourner’s wife may send her Mishloach Manos. However friends of the husband are not to send her Mishloach Manos, as they certainly intend to give it to the husband.
May one send Mishloach Manos to a mourner’s husband?[44]
This follows the same ruling as above.
May one send Mishloach Manos to a Rav that is with his year of Aveilus?[45]
No. However if one is accustomed to send money to the Rav each year by Purim then it is permitted to do so in the current year as well.
May one send Mishloach Manos to his parents that are within Aveilus?
Some[46] rule that if the child does so every year as a token of appreciation to his parents then he may be lenient to do so also on the current Purim.
If one’s parent passed away on Purim may they receive Mishloach Manos on the first Yartzite?[47]?
Yes.
D. The laws of an Onen[48] on Purim :[49]
Eating meat and drinking wine:[50] There are opinions[51] that rule an Onen is permitted to eat meat and drink wine on Purim.[52] [This is the final ruling.[53]] This only applies during Purim day, however on the night of Purim, and the night after Purim, it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine.[54] Likewise on the 15th by day it is forbidden for an Onen to eat meat or drink wine unless he is celebrating in Jerusalem on the 15th.[55]
Hearing Megillah and prayer at night:[56] Certainly the Onen is obligated to hear the Megillah and pray on the night of Purim.[57] [However some Poskim[58] question whether the Onen is required to Daven or hear Megillah on the night of Purim and therefore one is to hear the Megillah reading from another rather than read it himself. However one is to Daven at night.[59]] Regarding when the Megillah is to be read on the day of Purim, prior or post the burial-see next!
When is the burial to take place on the day of Purim-before or after the Megillah reading? At the night of Purim one is to read the Megillah prior to the burial.[60] However by Purim day some Poskim[61] rule the burial precedes the reading of the Megillah. Therefore one is to first proceed with the burial, and Daven and read the Megillah afterwards. However many Poskim[62] argue that one is to first read the Megillah and then bury the body. Practically the custom is like this latter opinion to only bury the body after leaving Shul, and the Onen also attends the Megillah reading.[63] Nevertheless the Onen is to re-read the Megillah after the burial [without a blessing[64]].[65]
Prayer and other Mitzvos on the day of Purim: The Onen is exempt from Shema and prayer until after the burial that day.[66] If however the time of Shema or prayer will pass by the time the burial takes place then he is to pray and say Shema beforehand, if there are others that are taking care of the burial.[67] Some Poskim[68] rule the Onen is exempt from wearing Tefillin on Purim even after the burial takes place. Others[69] however rule he is to put on Tefillin after the burial. Practically the Chabad custom throughout the year is that the mourner puts on Tefillin after the burial without a blessing.[70]
Summary:
A mourner within Shiva is to follow the mourning customs applicable on Shabbos. An Avel is to go to Shul on both the night and day of Purim in order to hear the Megillah reading, if he does not have a Minyan available at home. In such a case he may go to Shul for Shacharis although is to Daven Maariv at home. On the day of Purim he may go to Shul for Shacharis even if he is able to arrange a Minyan at home. He is obligated to send Mishloach Manos and Matanos Laevyonim, although he is not to send foods of Simcha.
Onen: On the night of Purim he is to Daven and hear Megillah. He may not eat meat and drink wine. On the day of Purim he is to hear Megillah and may eat meat and drink wine. He may Daven and say Shema prior to the burial if there will not be time to do so afterwards. He is to put on Tefillin without a blessing after the burial.
Q&A on Onen
If the burial will not take place until after Purim are the relatives to hear Megillah and Daven on Purim?[71]
They are obligated to hear Megillah. If the burial is being taken care of by others then they are obligated to also Daven.[72] [As soon as the Chevra Kadisha takes charge of the corpse it is considered to be taken care of by others.] However one is not to put on Tefillin that day.[73]
May an Onen recite blessings when eating the Purim meal?[74]
Yes.
What are the laws of Onen on Purim Meshulash?[75]
On Friday he is considered a full Onen [and hence is exempt from Megillah reading, Davening and may not drink meat or drink wine].[76] On Sunday, during the day, some Poskim[77] rule he likewise maintains a full Onen status and may not eat meat and drink wine even during the day.
Levaya on Purim:[78]
When a funeral takes place on Purim the relatives are to do Keriah and immediately after the funeral they are to change their clothing. They are to be given the accustomed Seudas Havrah, although it is not to contain eggs or lentils but rather meat and wine.
Q&A on Shiva, Thirty days, 12 months
May one break the news of the death of a relative on Purim?[79]
One is not to tell someone of the death of a relative on Purim if he will have to sit Shiva for him. Rather one is to delay the message until after Purim. This applies even to the son of the deceased. [Regarding if this applies even prior to the burial see footnote.[80]]
May a mourner within Shiva leave his house on Purim?[81]
A mourner within Shiva may not leave his house on Purim with exception to hearing Megillah, as explained above.
Is a mourner allowed to participate in a Purim party?
A mourner within Shiva:[82] A mourner within Shiva may not leave his house on Purim, even to participate in an annual and communal Purim party. This applies even if music will not be played at the party.
A mourner within Shloshim:[83] A mourner within Shloshim of his father or mother may not participate in an annual and communal Purim party. This applies even if music will not be played at the party. [Other mourners that are within Shloshim may participate in a Purim party that they attend annually, so long as they do not dance and music will not be played at the party.[84] However there are Poskim[85] that are stringent even in such a case.]
A mourner within 12 months: All mourners of a parent that are within the year of mourning may participate in a Purim party that they attend annually, so long as they do not dance and music will not be played at the party.[86] However there are Poskim[87] that are stringent even in such a case.
May a mourner who is a musician play music at a Purim party on Purim?[88]
Yes. He may play music in order to help others rejoice on Purim. This allowance especially applies by a Seudas Mitzvah. However this is only allowed if the mourner is not within Shiva. Likewise if a person is a mourner on his father or mother it is only allowed if he is not within the Shloshim.
Is a mourner to wear Shabbos clothing on Purim?[89]
Yes. This applies by both the night and day of Purim and applies even if one is within Shiva. He is certainly not to continue wearing his torn shirt.
Is a mourner within Shiva allowed to fulfill the Mitzvah of Drinking “Ad Delo Yada” ?
This matter requires further analysis.[90]
May a mourner within Shiva who celebrated on the 14th leave his house on Shushan Purim to go to Shul?[91]
He is not to leave his house on the 15th even in order to go to Shul and the like.
Is an Avel to keep the laws of Shiva on Sunday of Purim Meshulash?[92]
This matter is disputed amongst Rabbanei Yerushalayim.[93]
May a mourner read the Megillah?[94]?[95]
A mourner within Shiva may read the Megillah for the public if there is no one else available that knows to read the Megillah as good as him. If however another reader is available, that can read just as good as the Avel, then it is better to have him do the reading.[96] Nevertheless if the mourner is the annual Megillah reader, or is a person of important stature, then one may be lenient to have him read the Megillah even in such a case.[97]
The blessings: If the mourner is reading the Megillah only to himself then he is to recite the blessings, including Shehechiyanu.[98] If he is reading the Megillah also for others then according to some Poskim[99] he may not recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu and he is thus to have another person recite the blessings prior to him beginning the reading.
May a mourner within Shiva leave his grocery store open on Purim?[100]
A mourner within Shiva that is accustomed to leave his store open on Purim each year, such as to sell food for Purim, may likewise open his store on Purim.[101] However he himself may not leave his house to go to the store and is rather to send another person in his place.
Is a mourner to lead the prayers on Purim?
The Chabad custom is to do so.[102] However some[103] are accustomed that mourners do not Daven for the Amud on Purim.
[1] 696/4-7; Yoreh Deah 401/7
[2] Rama 696/4
Opinion of Michaber: The Michaber ibid however rules the mourning customs fully apply on Purim. The Rama brings a dissenting opinion and rules that so is the custom.
[3] Michaber 696/4 [contradicting his ruling in Yoreh Deah 401/7]; Bach; Rashal; Perisha; Mahril brought in M”A 696/7
[4] Rama ibid; Michaber Yoreh Deah 401/7 [contradicting his ruling above]
[5] The law regarding those that do not celebrate on the 15th: Some Poskim rule that those which celebrate on the 14th and are not particular to also celebrate on the 15th, as is required to be done on Shushan Purim [see Rama 695/1; Halacha 17], must keep all mourning customs on the 15th, as they cannot grab the leniencies of both not celebrating and not keeping Aveilus. This is particularly pertinent to Ashkenazi Lithuanian Jewry which are not particular to also celebrate on the 15th, as opposed to the Chassidim which celebrate also on the 15th at times even more than the 14th. [Nemukei Orach Chaim 696/1; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1/693] Thus we find Poskim that did keep the laws of Aveilus on the 15th. [The Chochmas Adam as he testifies in Kuntrus Matzeivas Moseh, unlike his ruling in 169/27] Nevertheless, despite the above, the widespread custom is not to keep the laws of public Aveilus on the 15th. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/5]
[6] Rama and Michaber ibid; Thus one may not have marital relations, bathe or learn Torah. [Yoreh Deah 400/1]
Ruling of Arizal: In Peri Eitz Chaim Purim it is written that even private mourning customs are not to be kept on Purim, however see Nemukei Orach Chaim 696/2 which explains this to be a printing error.
[7] Rama ibid; M”A 696/7; Shaareiy Teshuvah 696/6; Shulchan Gavoa 696/16; Olas Shabbos 696/3; Levush; Kisei Eliyahu 696/2; Birkeiy Yosef 696/10; Beis David 497
[8] Kisei Eliyahu 696/2; Birkeiy Yosef 696/10; Beis David 497; Yalkut Yosef 341
[9] Rama ibid
[10] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 23 in name of Rav SZ”A. However there he brings opinions that argue.
[11] M”A 696/7; M”B 696/12; Derech Hachaim; Elya Raba; Shaar Hatziyon 696/11
The M”A ibid writes that one is to be stringent regarding all matters of Aveilus with exception to the above matters, and it is forbidden to participate in all forms of Simcha. So rules also Chayeh Adam 154/36; Kaf Hachaim 696/25. However the M”B 696/12 simply records that one is especially not to be stringent in the above matters and does not record a requirement to be stringent in other matters. Likewise he does not record a prohibition to participate in forms of Simcha and rather that simply one is to reduce the amount of Simcha he has. This follows the ruling of the Elya Raba and Derech Hachaim which argue on the wording of the M”A ibid. [Shaar Hatziyon 696/11]
[12] There is however a discrepancy that on Shabbos one may go to Shul while on Purim one is not to leave to Shul unless he needs to hear Megillah as will be explained next.
[13] Rama ibid; Michaber Yoreh Deah ibid
[14] M”A 696/9; M”B 696/14
[15] Rama 696/4; Machazik Bracha 690 Kuntrus Achron 1; Beis Yehuda 1/107; Kaf Hachaim 690/116
Ruling of the Michaber: The Michaber 696/5 rules the Avel is not to leave his house to hear Megillah. The M”A 696/6 understands this to argue on the opinion of the Rama ibid. However the Poskim conclude that in truth there is no dispute and the Michaber is referring to a case that there is a Minyan available in one’s home. Hence if one does not have a Minyan in his house to hear Megillah then even according to the Michaber he is to go to Shul. [Elya Raba 696/6; Nehar Shalom 696/3; M”B 696/10; Kaf Hachaim 696/23]
[16] Rama ibid; Michaber 696/5 as explained in Elya Raba 696/6; Nehar Shalom 696/3; M”B 696/10; Kaf Hachaim 696/23
[17] Rama ibid; In such a case it is best for the Minyan to hear the Megillah in Shul and then come to the Avel’s house to have him hear Megillah with a Minyan. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 40]
[18] Peri Megadim ; M”B 696/15; See Machazik Bracha 690 Kuntrus Achron 1; Beis Yehuda 1/107; Kaf Hachaim 690/116 which imply that this applies even for the night reading.
The reason: In order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Pirsumei Nissa. [Beis Yehuda ibid] As the above ruling of the Rama that one is to gather a Minyan at home was in accordance to the ruling of the Michaber that holds one is to keep Aveilus on Purim. However according to the Rama himself that holds Aveilus is not kept on Purim one may go to Shul to hear Megillah even if he has Minyan available at home. [M”B ibid]
[19] Hagahos Chochmas Shlomo 696
[20] Tur; Levush; Taz 696/2; Chayeh Adam 154/36; P”M 696 A”A 10; M”B 696/11; Kaf Hachaim 696/24
The reason: As requiring him to stay at home for Minyan is not considered an act of public mourning as there could me many reasons for him not coming to the Minyan. [Taz ibid]
Other Opinions: Some rule that if one does not have a Minyan available at home and is going to Shul to hear Megillah, then he may likewise go to Shul for Maariv. [Kaf Hachaim 696/31; Rav Fisher brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/9]
[21] M”A 696/8; implication of Tur; Chayeh Adam 154/36; Derech Hachaim 2; Peri Megadim 696 A”A 8; M”B 696/13; Kaf Hachaim 696/28; 696/31; Michaber Yoreh Deah 393/3 [allows going to Shul on any day of Torah reading]; Mamar Mordechai 696/3
[22] Michaber 696/5 in name of Rokeiach
[23] M”A 696/10; M”B 696/15; Kaf Hachaim 696/30. [The M”B and Kaf Hachaim ibid limit the above ruling of the M”A to a case that he does not have a Minyan available in his house.]
[24] This refers to any person that is within his period of Aveilus; within 12 months for a parent; within 30 days for other relatives.
[25] 696/6; Yoreh Deah 401/7
[26] Tur in name of Mahram of Rothenberg and so rules other Poskim. [Beir Hagoleh 20] Rosh in Moed Katan. [Shulchan Gavoa 696/18] There are no opinions that argue on this ruling. Nevertheless since this ruling has not been brought in other Poskim therefore the Michaber writes it here as “there are opinions that rule”. In Yoreh Deah ibid the Michaber plainly rules like this opinion and omits the introduction of “some opinions state”. [Kaf Hachaim 696/32]
[27] Michaber ibid
[28] Michaber Yoreh Deah 401/7; Kaf Hachaim 696/32
[29] M”B 696/17; Michaber Yoreh Deah ibid; Olas Shabbos 696/4; Mateh Moshe 1017
The reason: As an Avel is obligated in all the Mitzvos in the Torah. [ibid]
Other Opinions: There are Poskim that rule an Avel within Shiva is exempt from the Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos. He is rather to wait until the Shiva has ended and then give the gifts to one of his relatives or to a pauper. [Shiltei Giborim in name of Riaz brought in Olas Shabbos ibid] Practically we rule like the majority of Poskim that he is obligated to send Mishloach Manos even during Shiva. [Kaf Hachaim 696/33]
[30] M”A 696/11; Mahril; Sefer Chassidim 713; Mateh Moshe ibid; Chayeh Adam 155/37; Derech Hachaim 3; M”B 696/18; Kaf Hachaim 696/33
Sending money: Many of the above Poskim bring down that the mourner, which is not to send festive foods as Mishloach Manos, is to rather send meat or money. [Mateh Moshe 1017; Sefer Chassidim 713 brought in M”A 696/11; M”B 696/18] Vetzaruch Iyun as we rule that one does not fulfill his obligation of Mishloach Manos with money. [See Terumas Hadeshen 111; Taz 695/4; Elya Raba 695/9; M”B 695/20; Kaf Hachaim 695/35]
[31] Rama 696/6
[32] Foods not of Simcha: This includes even foods that are not matters of pleasure but rather basic necessities. [Mateh Moshe 1018; M”A 696/11; Elya Raba 696/8; Chayeh Adam 154/37; M”B 696/19; Kaf Hachaim 695/3]
The reason: As one is forbidden to give Shalom to a mourner. [M”B 696/20]
Must one protest those that send Mishloach Manos to Aveilim? Some Poskim rule one is not obligated to warn the givers that they may not send Mishloach Manos to an Avel. [Zecher Simcha 79] However the Rebbe publicized that people should not send him Mishloach Manos when he was in his year of Aveilus. [Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2/35 footnote 19]
[33] M”B 696/20; Kaf Hachaim 696/36
[34] The reason: As one is forbidden to give Shalom to a mourner within the first 12 months. [M”B 696/20]
Other Opinions: Those that are accustomed to permit asking Shalom to an Avel during his 12 months [see Yoreh Deah 385] are permitted to send Mishloach Manos to an Avel on Purim within the 12 months. [M”A 696/12; M”B 696/21; P”M 696 A”A 12; Misgeres Hashulchan 141/7; Shevach Hamoadim 14/3] However foods of Simcha are not to be sent. [Derech Hachaim; M”B ibid] Within the Shloshim, Mishloach Manos cannot be sent according to all. [ibid] Practically see previous footnote that the Rebbe publicized that people should not send him Mishloach Manos when he was in his year of Aveilus. [Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2/35 footnote 19]
[35] Mishneh Berurah 696/20
[36] As one cannot give someone a present against his will. [Biur Hagr”a; M”B 696/22]
[37] M”B 696/17; Chayeh Adam 155/37; Derech Hachaim 3
The reason: As an Avel is obligated in all the Mitzvos in the Torah. [ibid]
[38] Ksav Sofer 141; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/10
[39] M”A 696/11; Elya Raba 696/8; Chayeh Adam 154/37; Derech Hachaim; M”B 696/19; Kaf Hachaim 695/35
[40] M”A 696/11; Elya Raba 696/8; Chayeh Adam 154/37; Derech Hachaim; M”B 696/19; Kaf Hachaim 695/35
[41] Derech Hachaim; M”B 696/19; Kaf Hachaim 695/35
[42] Elya Raba ibid
[43] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/10
[44] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/10
[45] Divrei Malkiel 237; Piskeiy Teshuvah 149; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/10
[46] Sheivet Hakehasi 4/188; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/10
[47] P”M 696 A”A 11; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 42
[48] An Onen is defined as a person whose relative of which mourning laws apply, has passed away and is prior to burial. [M”B 696/23] See Admur 71; Yoreh Deah 341 for the exact definition of an Onen and the law of a relative that will not participate in the burial. Practically the accustomed Rabbinical directive given today is that if the relative will not be attending the funeral then he is not considered an Onen, and rather begins Shiva right away. [So rules Bach brought in Shach 341/5; 2nd opinion in Admur 71/1; Kitzur SHU”A 196/4; Yosef Daas 341; M”A 548/8; Imreiy Yosher 1/51; Mahrsham 2/260; Sdei Chemed p. 3456; Nitei Gavriel 14/4; Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 3/136 that this is what the Rebbe did in 1952; and so ruled to me Rav Asher Lemel Cohen and Rav Yosef Simcha Ginzberg. For Poskim that are stringent see: Michaber 341/1; 1st opinion in Admur 71/1 [and that so is custom]; Aruch Hashulchan 341/10]
[49] 696/7
[50] Michaber ibid
[51] Orchos Chaim; The reason the Michaber writes this law in the name of “some opinions” is because he did not find this ruling in other Poskim, and it is not due to the fact he does not hold of their ruling. [Kaf Hachaim 696/39]
[52] The reason: As a positive command for an individual to mourn does not push off a positive command of the public to rejoice on Purim which is a command of the Sages and is equivalent to a Biblical command. [Michaber ibid; M”A 548/13; Mamar Mordechai 696/3; See Nehar Shalom 696/4; Kaf Hachaim 696/44]
[53] Kaf Hachaim 696/39
[54] M”A 696/15; Elya Raba 696/10; M”B 696/24; Kaf Hachaim 696/42 and 46
[55] Shaar Hatziyon 696/28; There he negates the understanding from the Derech Hachaim that the Onen may eat meat and drink wine even on the 15th. He establishes this to be referring to the 15th in Jerusalem.
[56] Rama ibid
[57] The Rama establishes this ruling to only refer to the night of Purim. However by the day of Purim one is obligated to first bury the corpse and only afterwards may he read the Megillah, in which case he will no longer be an Onen by the time the Megillah is read. Hence according to the Rama an Onen is only to read the Megillah at night, as by day he is to first bury the body and end his Aninus before the reading.
Other Opinions: The M”A 696/14 questions this ruling of the Rama to require the Onen to Daven based on the fact he may eat meat and drink wine, as the two matters are completely irrelevant of each other. The M”A concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun.
[58] M”B 696/25; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 696/46
[59] Conclusion of Kaf Hachaim ibid despite implication from M”B ibid that one is not to Daven; Chayeh Adam 135/38 rules like Rama that one is to Daven and so rules Derech Hachaim in the laws of Onen.
Other Opinions: The M”A 696/14 questions whether one is to Daven at night. Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11 concludes one is not to Daven.
[60] Rama ibid; Veztaruch Iyun as back then they never buried at night, however in today’s times perhaps if the Chevra Kadisha is willing to bury at night then the burial is to take place before the reading.
[61] Rama 696/7; Michaber and Rama 687/2
[62] M”A 687/4; 696/16; M”B 696/26
Background:
The Michaber 687/2 rules that all Mitzvos are delayed in order to read the Megillah. However this is with exception to the burial of a corpse [Meis Mitzvah] which precedes the reading of Megillah. The Rama ibid establishes this law to refer to a case that one is able to both bury the corpse and read the Megillah afterwards, while it is still Purim. The M”A ibid however argues that the above law only applies by a Meis Mitzvah, a corpse that does not have anyone to bury him, however by a regular corpse, the Megillah reading precedes. So rules Shiltei Giborim; Bach, and so is implied from Or Zarua. The M”A 696/16 concludes that so is the custom.
[63] M”A ibid; M”B ibid
Other Opinions: The Elya Raba 696/11 rules that the Onen is to delay fulfilling his Mitzvah of Megillah reading until after the burial.
[64] Chayeh Adam brought in Shaar Hatziyon 696/30; Upashut as even the M”A [see next footnote] concludes that according to the second opinion in 71/1 one fulfills his obligation beforehand.
[65] M”A 696/16; M”B 696/26; Kaf Hachaim 696/47
Background:
The M”A ibid questions that seemingly only the non-mourners should be allowed to precede the Megillah reading to the burial, however the mourners themselves are considered an Onen and hence are exempt from all Mitzvos including Megillah reading. Hence how can they fulfill their obligation with the reading of the Megillah prior to the burial? The M”A ibid hence concludes that although the custom is for the Onen to attend the Megillah reading in Shul, he nevertheless is to repeat the reading, without a blessing, after the burial. Nevertheless he also concludes that according to the second opinion in 71/1, one does fulfill his obligation with the Shul’s reading.
[66] M”A 696/16; M”B 696/26; Admur 71/1; Elya Raba 696/11; Chayeh Adam 154/38; Derech Hachaim 1
The law if the burial is being taken care of by others: If the burial is being taken care of by others some rule that the Onen may Daven and read Shema. [M”A ibid] Practically the custom is like the opinion that holds an Onen may not do so, even if he is in another city. [71/1; Michaber Yoreh Deah 341; Shach 341/5] However see Shulchan Menachem 5/267 that the Rebbe followed the dissenting opinion and ended his Aninus as soon as he knew the burial was no longer under his responsibility. This occurred twice by the death of his brother and Mother. Practically the accepted ruling amongst Rabbanim is that if the mourner does not plan to attend the funeral, such as if it is taking place in a different country, and the burial is being taken care of by others, then he is to begin his Aveilus immediately.
[67] Kaf Hachaim 696/47 based on second opinion in 71/1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11; Now although there Admur concludes that the custom is to be stringent, nevertheless since from the Rama here it is implied that there is no Aninus on Purim in such a case, therefore one may be lenient. [See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 56] In any event the Rebbe [brought in previous footnote] was accustomed like the second opinion in 71/1.
[68] M”A 696/16; M”B 696/26; Derech Hachaim 1; Chayeh Adam 154/38; Kaf Hachaim 696/47; Admur 38/5; Kitzur SH”A 141/23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11
[69] Elya Raba 696/11 brought in Shaar Hatziyon 696/32; Mishmeres Shalom 80 [if he passed away before Purim]
[70] Shulchan Menachem 5/271
[71] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11
[72] According to the Rama there is no Aninus on Purim in a case that the burial will not take place that day. [Aruch Hashulchan 696/11] Hence even if there is no one available to take care of the body, if the burial will not take place on Purim he is obligated in Megillah and Davening. However according to the M”A ibid he is considered an Onen until after the burial, and hence is only exempt if there are others which are taking care of the corpse.
[73] M”A 696/16 as brought in Kaf Hachaim 696/47; M”B 696/26; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
Other Opinions: Elya Raba 696/11 rules one is to put on Tefillin on Purim even in such a case.
[74] Matzeivas Moshe 1; Mishmeres Shalom Onen 40; Gesher Hachaim 18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696 footnote 54
[75] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11
[76] The reason for this is because the entire reason the Onen may hear Megillah on Purim is because he is allowed to eat meat and wine, as stated in the Michaber. However since on Friday he is not able to eat meat and wine, being there is no Seuda obligation on Friday of Purim Meshulash, therefore he is also exempt from Davening and Megillah.
[77] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11 in name of Purim Hameshulash
[78] Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/11
[79] Panim Meiros 1/100; Moed Lekol Chai 31/34; Maharash Engel 6/10; Kaf Hachaim 696/49; Michaber Yoreh Deah 402/12; Although the Rama ibid rules to tell the sons in order so they can say Kaddish, nevertheless regarding Purim which contains a dispute if Aveilus applies the above Poskim rule one is to follow the Michaber.
[80] See Gilyon Mahrsha 402 that seemingly this applies even prior to the burial. Veztaruch Iyun. However certainly if there is no one that is taking care of the burial it is an obligation to tell the son in order so he begin to deal with it.
[81] M”B 696/16 in name of P”M and as is implied from all the Poskim ibid that discuss whether he may even leave his house for Minyan and Megillah reading.
[82] See Previous Q&A; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/7
[83] Rama Yoreh Deah 391/2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/7
[84] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[85] Igros Moshe 3/161
[86] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid in name of Minchas Yitzchak; and the practical directive of Rabbanim.
The reason: As if he does not attend it will appear like public mourning. Vetzaruch Iyun as according to this it should be permitted to attend even if music is played. [See Nimukei Orach Chaim 696/3]
[87] Igros Moshe 3/161
[88] Zekan Ahron 214; Ikrei Hadaat 36/22; Kaf Hachaim 696/26; Pischeiy Teshuvah 696/4
[89] Nitei Gavriel 77/14
[90] On the one hand it is a Mitzvah to drink on Purim. On the other hand the Poskim ibid rule that one is to reduce in matters of Simcha during Aveilus. Perhaps in such an instance one is to fulfill the ruling of the Rama 695/2 that one is to drink a little more than usual and go to sleep to fulfill this Mitzvah.
[91] M”B 696/16 in name of Derech Hachaim
[92] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/5 footnote 28; Purim Hameshulash 8/20
[93] There he brings that Rav SZ”A; Rav Fisher and other Rabbanei Yerushalayim rule there is no public Aveilus on Sunday. Rav Elyashiv and Rav Aba Shaul [Or Letziyon 1/49] rule there is public Aveilus on Sunday
[94] Binyan Olam 35; M”B 696/12; Pischeiy Teshuvah 696; Kaf Hachaim 696/27; Mishmeres Shalom 50/3
[95] Binyan Olam 35; M”B 696/12; Pischeiy Teshuvah 696; Kaf Hachaim 696/27; Mishmeres Shalom 50/3
[96] Kaf Hachaim 692/7; So rules also Mahril 22; Ikrei Daat 30/27; Mishmeres Shalom 50/3 and so is implied from above Poskim ibid
[97] Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Machaneh Chaim 2/1; Kaf Hachaim 581/33; See M”E 581/24-25; Kitzur SHU”A 128/8; Alef Hamagen 581/47; Igros Kodesh 7/363 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 3/94]
[98] Kaf Hachaim 692/6; There is no prohibition for an Avel to recite the blessing of Shehechiyanu. [M”A 551/42]
[99] M”B 692/1; Derech Hachaim 2; Kaf Hachaim 692/7; See regarding Chanukah: M”B 671/44; Shaareiy Teshuvah 671/7
The reason: As an Avel is not to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu on behalf of others. [ibid]
Other Poskim: Many Poskim permit the Avel to recite Shehechiyanu even by a public reading. [Teshuvah Meahava 2/286; Mishmeres Shalom ibid; Gesher Hachaim 23/4; Beis Yitzchak Yoreh Deah 2/158; Minchas Elazar 2/32; See Nitei Gavriel 37/4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 692/6]
[100] Marsham 696/7; Tzur Yaakov 140; Moed Lekol Chai 31/32; Kaf Hachaim 696/50; Shearim Hametzuyanim Behalacha 141/15; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/6
[101] The reason: As otherwise it is considered public mourning. [ibid]
[102] Sefer Haminhagim [English] p. 161 regarding Chanukah and the same would apply to Purim
[103] Shut Mahril 22; Mahram Mintz 43; Elya Raba 582/22; Biur Halacha 132; Minchas Elazar 2/32; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696/8. On Purim Hameshulash they likewise do not Daven for the Amud on Friday or Sunday. [Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid]
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