E. Ashkenazim versus Sephardim – Does the ban apply in all countries:[1]

The ban of Rabbeinu Gershom did not become accepted in all countries, although is assumed to have been accepted in all countries unless known explicitly otherwise.[2] The ban was placed, and accepted, upon all Jewish communities living in the Ashkenazi provinces[3] [i.e. France, Germany, Poland, and all countries with a majority Ashkenazi population such as America and Australia etc[4]], although was never accepted upon Sephardic Jewry [i.e. Province, Spain, Egypt, Israel[5]].[6] [Furthermore, some Poskim[7] suggest that even Rabbeinu Gershom never intended for the ban to be adopted in Muslim countries in which there is no danger for a man to be married to more than one wife.] Accordingly, while the ban is binding upon Ashkenazim it is not binding upon Sephardim.[8]

The practical ruling for Sephardim: [Although the ban is not binding upon Sephardim, nevertheless, even according to Sephardim,] it is proper to place a ban and excommunication against anyone who marries a wife in addition to his first wife.[9] Accordingly, most Sephardic communities today are accustomed not to marry a second wife, and being that this is the custom, one may not do so, as it is on this condition that his wife married him.[10] [In some areas, this would be explicitly stated in the Kesuba, that the groom swears that he will not marry an additional wife.[11]  In 1948, the Chief rabbinate of the state of Israel accepted this ban also upon Sephardim, and therefore even those who come from Sephardic communities may not marry a second wife unless they receive permission from the Chief rabbinate, and so is explicitly stated in the Kesuba which is accustomed to be used in Israel even among Sephardim, that one may not marry a second wife per the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom.[12] Nonetheless, a certain leniency exists even today for Sephardim, in cases that the wife gives her consent, and it is a case of need of a Mitzvah.[13]]

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[1] See Rama E.H. 1:10; Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 17 Erech Cherem Derabbeinu Gershom sec. 4 pp. 386-387 footnotes 86 and onwards

[2] Rama E.H. 1:10; Mahariy Mintz 10

[3] See Rama E.H. 1:10 and Darkei Moshe 1:11 in name of Mahariy Mintz 10 that it is assumed to be accustomed in all lands unless known otherwise; Maharik Shoresh 184; Shut Beis Yosef Dinei Kesubos 14; Radbaz 1165; Ran 48; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 86, 87, 99

[4] Maharam Shick E.H. 4 regarding Poland; Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 1:23; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 100-101

[5] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 91 regarding Egypt and Israel

Turkey: Some Poskim rule that the ban was accepted in Turkey. [Sdei Chemed Geirushin 2:9; Baiy Chayi; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 92; Teshuvah of Rav Chaim Falagi in Chaim Veshalom 2:15]

[6] See Michaber E.H. 1:10 “and his decree did not become widespread in all lands”; See Rashba 3:446 [and 1:1205, 4:114], brought in Beis Yosef 1:10 and Darkei Moshe 1:9, that the ban had not become accepted in all provinces of Spain, and even in Province which is close to France, it did not become accepted, and there are many Torah scholars and righteous men and other regular people in these countries who have married more than one wife and historically no one ever made issue with this; See Shut Haran 48 in Castille that it is customary to marry two wives; Maharik Shoresh 101; 107 that for this reason it was not mentioned in the Rambam; Sheilas Yaavetz 2:15 that the ban was not accepted in the western and eastern lands of Germany; Kneses Hageola 1:53 in name of Maharam Alshiker 95 [brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:19] and Ralbach 36 and Mahariybal; Maharashdam Y.D. 140; E.H. 78; Yabia Omer E.H. 5:1

[7] Sheilas Yaavetz 2:15

[8] See Yabia Omer E.H. 5:1

[9] Michaber E.H. 1:11; Beis Yosef 1:11; Rosh 43:7

[10] Michaber 1:9; 76:8; Tur 1:9; Ritva and Nimukei Yosef Yevamos 44a; Chikrei Lev Y.D. 3:87

[11] Maharibal 1:16; Mahara Sason 228, brought in Kneses Hagedola 1; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 96-97

[12] See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 102; Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2; Koveitz Torah Shebal Peh 27 p. 104

[13] Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 659, regarding a Sephardic couple who has waited 10 years without having children and that he desires to marry another wife for the sake of having children. The Rebbe replied with the following points: A) As an Ashkenazi, he cannot give him a Heter in this matter, and he must contact Sephardic Rabbis for a ruling in his scenario although since he is Sephardic, it will be much easier for him to receive an allowance. B) He should appease his wife by explaining to her that it is written in Sefarim that not everyone in life has the job of having children some men and women, especially women, have a different purpose. C) By taking care of another person’s child, and raising them, it is considered as if one has birthed that child. D) It is proper to write a post role in her own.