9. Mourning a relative who committed suicide:[1]

One who commits suicide is not to be dealt with at all. He is not to be mourned, eulogized, or have Keriah[2] done [even by his relatives[3]] on his behalf.[4] [Likewise, they do not say Baruch Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name.[5]] Nevertheless, even one who committed suicide is to receive Taharah and Tachrichin and be buried in a Jewish cemetery [an 8 Amos distance from other graves[6]].[7] Likewise, the mourners are to be comforted and have performed all mourning rituals that are done out of respect for the surviving relatives.[8] [Nevertheless, if not mourning the deceased will cause embarrassment to the family, and publicize the cause of death, the relatives may choose to mourn his passing as usually performed.[9] If the person who committed suicide did not die instantly, and did Teshuvah prior to his death, he is to be mourned.[10]]

Halachic proof of suicide:[11] [The act of suicide is only Halachically defined as suicide if it was witnessed or is backed by circumstantial evidence of such degree that there is no room to doubt that the death was the result of suicide.] For example: If he said that “I will go on to the roof [and jump off to kill myself[12]]”, and immediately after he was witnessed going up out of anger or distress, and he was then seen to fall and die, it can be assumed that he committed suicide for all Halachic purposes. [If, however, he was not witnessed going up to the roof, he is to be treated like any other deceased.[13] Likewise, if he was not seen to fall, he is to be treated like any other deceased.[14] Likewise, if he did not make his suicide plans known prior to the act, he is to be mourned even if his suicide was witnessed.[15]] If, however, a person was found hanging off a tree, or fallen over a sword, he is to be judged like all deceased, and is to be dealt with accordingly without any matter of mourning omitted.[16] [This applies even if it clearly appears that he killed himself, such as he was found hanging in a room that was locked from the inside, or he was stabbed with his own sword. If, however, prior to the death, the deceased stated that he intends to kill himself, or it was evident from his actions that he plans to do so, then if the death is clearly evident as suicide, he is not to be mourned.[17]]

Halachic definition of suicide: [Even in a scenario that the person was witnessed taking his life, receiving the above Halachic status that abstains the relatives from mourning, is dependent also on the motivation behind the suicide. For example:] A child [below Bar/Bas Mitzvah] who committed suicide is not Halachically judged as suicide and is thus considered like any other deceased.[18] [Likewise, a Shoteh/mentally insane who committed suicide is to be mourned as usual.[19]] Likewise, even a Gadol who committed suicide out of lack of choice, as did Shaul Hamelech[20], is treated like any other deceased and is to be mourned.[21] [Some Poskim[22] rule that this likewise applies if one killed himself out of distress of poverty, or suffering, that he is to be treated like any other deceased. Practically however, the Poskim[23] negate this opinion. If, however, he killed himself out of immediate fear of death, or due to a moment of insanity, he is to be mourned.[24]] One who stole [or committed murder[25] or another crime of capital punishment] and was killed by the government for doing so, is not considered like one who committed suicide.[26]

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[1] Michaber 345:1-3; Miseches Semachos 2

[2] Michaber ibid

[3] Shach 345:2 in opinion of Michaber 345:1; Rambam Avel 1; Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:3

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the relatives are to perform Keriah on behalf of the deceased, and the above law of not performing Keriah was stated only regarding non-relatives. [Ramban in Toras Hadam p. 20b, brought in Shach 345:2 and Beis Yosef 345, and so rules Tur 345]

[4] Michaber 345:1; Miseches Semachos 2; Rambam ibid

The reason: As the verse states “And I will demand the blood that is on your hands”, from which we learn that killing oneself is a grave sin. [Shach 345:1]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the relatives are to perform Keriah on behalf of the deceased. [Ramban in Toras Hadam p. 20b, brought in Shach 345:2, and so rules Tur 345] It is implied according to this opinion that the relatives are also to mourn his death, and the above statement of not mourning was only stated in respect to mourning customs followed by non-relatives. [See Toras Hadam ibid “Why do they comfort him if he is not following the laws of Aveilus and we do not find any precedent for not mourning a relative who sinned with exception to those killed by Beis Din”; See also Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:1, who implies that all laws of mourning are kept by relatives according to the Ramban.] Practically, although we rule like the Rambam, and who can lift his hand against the ruling of the Michaber ibid, nevertheless in a time of need, one may rule like the Ramban. [Chasam Sofer ibid]

[5] Nitei Gavriel 63:10 in name of Poskim

[6] Gilyon Maharsha 345

[7] Shach 345:1 in name of Rashba 763; Chochmas Adam 156:1; Kitzur SHU”A 201:1

[8] Michaber 345:1; Miseches Semachos 2

[9] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:3, that “although the ruling is like the Rambam/Michaber that one does not sit Shiva, nevertheless, if this will cause the family embarrassment, the Rav may be stringent to tell the family to sit Shiva as rules the Ramban, as although we are lenient in Aveilus in case of dispute, we are not lenient in the honor of the children of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov.”; See Lachmei Toda 18

[10] Gilyon Maharsha 345 in name of Reb Tzevi Hirsh of Berlin

[11] Michaber 345:2; Rambam ibid based on Miseches Semachos 2; See Poskim in coming footnotes and Mishnas Sachir 2:232; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 141; Nitei Gavriel 48:15

[12] Shach 345:3 in name of Ramban

[13] Shach 345:3; Bach; Rashal

[14] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2

[15] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2

The reason: As perhaps he was deemed momentarily insane, or feared instant death by some creature. [See Chasam Sofer ibid]

[16] Michaber ibid; Rambam ibid based on Miseches Semachos ibid

[17] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2

[18] Michaber 345:3; Miseches Semachos

[19] Yad Avraham 345 in name of Birkeiy Yosef

[20] Shaul was bound to be captured and killed by the Pilishtim, and hence he chose to commit suicide and not give them this honor. [Shach 345:6]

[21] Michaber ibid; Ramban in Toras Habayis ibid; See Beis Yosef in name of Midrash Raba; Beis Hillel

[22] Besamim Rosh 145 [omitted in most editions due to suspicion of forgery], brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 345 and Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2; See Yad Avraham 345 in name of Birkeiy Yosef, and Beis Lechem Yehuda 345  that if he committed suicide out of fear of suffering he is to be mourned

[23] Har Evel 11; Chasam Sofer 326; Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2; See Beis Ephraim 14:76; Many Poskim banned the Sefer Besamim Rosh claiming it was forged by its publisher, Rav Shaul of Berlin, under claim that it is writings of the Rosh. See: Sefer Habris 1 Kesav Yosher 20; Parshas Mordechai 5; Minchas Elazar; Avnei Nezer E.H. 8 [omitted from most editions]; On the other hand, the Sefer is brought in Rav Akiva Eiger and defended as belonging to the Rosh by the Chida in Tov Ayin 9 and Sheim Hagedolim Beis 126

[24] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2

[25] Maharam Mintz; Beis Lechem Yehuda 345

[26] Rama ibid; Maryu114

[27] See Pnei Baruch 1:1; Nitei Gavriel 12:4

[28] Levushei Mordechai 4:280; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 8

[29] Zera Emes 3:158; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7

[30] See Pnei Baruch 7:9; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 82:22 footnote 40

[31] Chasam Sofer 326, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:3

[32] See Rav Akiva Eiger 345; Beis Yosef Y.D. 257; Chida in Birkei Yosef 357 and Shem Hagedolim 10:27

[33] Yad Avraham 345 in name of Birkeiy Yosef; Even Shoham 44, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 345:2; Beis Lechem Yehuda 345; See Shvus Yaakov 2:111, brought in Rebbe Akiva Eiger 345

[34] Gilyon Maharsha 345 in name of Reb Tzevi Hirsh of Berlin

[35] The reason: As certainly he did Teshuvah prior to dying, as the waves of the sea throw him around and he has time to repent prior to his death. [ibid]