7. The Davening on the day of the Yahrzeit:
A. Kaddish:[1]
Each year, on the day of the Yahrzeit of a father or mother, the son is to recite Kaddish Yasom. [The Chabad custom is for the Avel to recite 16 Kaddeishim on the day of the Yahrzeit.[2] There is nothing greater that protects from damaging forces than Kaddish which is said after the recital of Tehillim. Thus, it is customary for the children to recite Mishnayos and Tehillim in public and then say Kaddish.[3] See Chapter 26 for the full detailed laws relating to Kaddish.]
The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah?[4] The Chabad custom is for an Avel, and Baal Yahrzeit, to endeavor to recite the half Kaddish after the Torah reading. [This applies even on Shabbos and Yom Tov.[5]] In a case of dispute, or when Davening in a Shul with a different custom, the Kaddish is to be recited by the Baal Korei. See chapter 25 Halacha 7B for the full details of this subject!
Q&A If there are a number of Aveilim present, and a Baal Yahrzeit, who is to recite the half Kaddish?[6] The Yahrzeit receives precedence.
What is one to do if he must travel to an area without a Minyan on the day of the Yahrzeit?[7] Some avoid traveling on the day of the Yahrzeit even if a Minyan will be available in the area.[8] Certainly, one is to avoid traveling if a Minyan will not be available by his destination, or on journey. However, in a case of great need, such as to prevent financial loss, he may travel even on the Yahrzeit and hire another individual to recite Kaddish in his stead.[9]
If for whatever reason one did not recite Kaddish on the day of the Yahrzeit, is he to do so on a later date?[10] He is to say Kaddish on the night after the Yahrzeit, by the Maariv prayer.[11] If one cannot or did not do so at that time, then he is to make it up on a different day. In addition, as a Tikkun for the missed date, he should accept upon himself to recite a Kaddish annually also on the day before the Yahrzeit. it can be made up on any date he chooses.[12]
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Going to Mikveh:[13] It is proper for a son to immerse in a Mikveh before prayer on his father’s or mother’s Yahrzeit.
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B. Davening for Amud:[14]
Each year, on the day of the Yahrzeit of a father or mother, the son is to endeavor to lead the entire prayer as Chazan [of Maariv, Shacharis, and Mincha], if he knows how to do so.
Kabalas Shabbos if Yahrzeit on Friday/Shabbos:[15] When the Yahrzeit falls on Erev Shabbos or Shabbos, one says the Kaddish Yasom that follows the psalm of Mizmor Shir Leyom Hashabbos which concludes Kabalas Shabbos.[16] [Many are accustomed to also Daven for the Amud for Kabalas Shabbos.]
The laws of precedence for Chazan:[17] One who has a Yahrzeit for a parent receives precedence over all other mourners who are after Shloshim. However, he does not precede one who is within Shiva, in which case the person within Shiva receives the right of precedence. If another mourner is within Shloshim, they are to split the prayers for which they Daven for the Amud on that day.[18] See Chapter 25 Halacha 4 for the full details of this subject!
C. Candles lit in Shul by Amud:[19]
It is customary for the Baal HaYahrzeit [i.e. son of the deceased] who is leading the prayers as Chazan to light five candles during the services [of Shacharis Mincha and Maariv].[20] [Some are accustomed to light five 24-hour candles.[21] The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan. The Baal HaYahrzeit is to personally light these candles and not use candles that were lit by another person.[22] In the event that the Baal HaYahrzeit is not leading the prayers, the five candles are nevertheless to be lit, if the Baal HaYahrzeit is participating in the Minyan.[23] If there is no Baal HaYahrzeit participating in the Minyan, only two candles are lit.[24]]
D. Aliyah to the Torah:[25]
On the day of a Yahrzeit one is considered a Chiyuv and is to be given an Aliyah if it takes place on a day of Kerias Hatorah. Regarding receiving Maftir the Shabbos before, or the Shabbos of the Yahrzeit, as well as the laws of precedence-see Halacha 3!
The half Kaddish after Kerias Hatorah: See Halacha A!
E. Mishnayos after Davening:
The Chabad custom is for the Baal Yahrzeit to recite Mishnayos after Davening of each prayer [Maariv, Shacharis, and Mincha] on the day of the Yahrzeit. One studies the entire chapter 24 in Keilim and the entire chapter 7 in Mikvaos. The Mishnayos are to be studied prior to Davening and are only concluded at the end of Davening. See Chapter 25 Halacha 8 for the full details on this subject!
F. Refreshments after Davening:[26]
It is customary to serve refreshments, and say Lechayim, after Davening on the day of the Yahrzeit. [Some have the custom of distributing Lechayim and hard-boiled eggs.[27]]
G. Saying Tehillim:[28]
Some are accustomed to say Tehillim 119 corresponding to the name of the deceased on the day of the Yahrzeit. [This is not necessarily the Chabad custom.[29]]
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[1] Rama 376:4; Maharil; Shaar Hakavanos and Nagid Mitzvah that so was custom of Arizal; Nitei Gavriel 60:5
Other customs: [In the past] the Sephardim were not accustomed to reciting Kaddish on the day of the Yahrzeit of a parent. [Rashal, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376:4; See Sichas 9th Teves 1951] The saying of Kaddish on a Yahrzeit has no source in the Talmud. [Chinuch Beis Yosef 83, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376:4] They do, however, recite it on the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit, as brought in Halacha 3B. Practically, today the custom amongst many Sephardim is to recite Kaddish from the Shabbos before the Yahrzeit until after the Yahrzeit.
[2] See regarding the year of Aveilus, and the same would apply on the day of the Yahrzeit: Igros Kodesh 14:188; 17:270; Toras Menachem 27:477 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:298-301];This was a directive of the Rebbe Rayatz and was written in the will of Rebbe Rashab [brought in Igros Kodesh 14:188; This was the custom of the Rebbe Rashab, brought in Igros Kodesh Rashab [Halacha] 80 and Igros Kodesh Rashab 2:904; This was the will of Rebbe Maharash, brought in Igros Kodesh Maharash p. 104; See Kovetz Or Yisrael 23:198
The reason: This is done because each Kaddish saves the parent from Gehinnom for 1.5 hours, and hence to save the parent for the full day one needs to say 16 Kaddeishim. [Igros Kodesh 14:188; 17:270; Toras Menachem ibid] Now, although Rav Chaim Vital explained the Zohar figuratively, nevertheless the other Mifarshei Hazohar agree with the simple explanation. [Igros Kodesh 14:188]
[3] Birkeiy Yosef 376 based on a story recorded in Vayakhel Moshe; Zechor Leavraham; Misgeres Hashulchan 221:5 that the same applies on a Yahrzeit
[4] Sefer Haminhagim p. 32 [English]; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 147:9; Pnei Baruch 34:14; Nitei Gavriel Vol. 2 chapter 45; 70:16
[5] Shaareiy Ephraim 10:9 and Ketzos Hashulchan 84 footnote 3 regarding if the Avel received Maftir or Shelishi; However, see Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 35 for Poskim who write the Avel is not to say it on Shabbos and Yom Tov
[6] See Rama 376:4; M”A 132:2
[7] See Nitei Gavriel 60:7 and 17
[8] Many avoid doing so due to Sakana. [Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 24] Omitted from Mateh Ephraim in next footnote
[9] Mateh Ephraim Kaddish 3:3; Alef Lamateh 3:3:
[10] See Ikarei Hadaat 29:34; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 11; Nitei Gavriel 70:9-10
[11] See M”A 132:2; Levush 133:3; Mateh Ephraim 3:4; Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid that the Tefila in approximation to the Yahrzeit is also helpful; Nitei Gavriel 70:9
[12] See Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 28:68 in name of Chida in Kikar Laeden 5:11
[13] Nitei Gavriel 60:4
[14] Rama 376:4; Maharil; Nitei Gavriel 60:5; Rebbe in Toras Menachem 1:152
[15] Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 147; Sefer Haminhagim [English] p. 52 and 180 regarding Yahrzeit falling on Friday and footnote 213 regarding Shabbos; Igros Kodesh 3:20 regarding both Shabbos and Friday [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:327]; See however Beir Heiytiv 132:5 in name of Kneses Yechezkal 14 that these Kaddeishim belong to Shabbos; See Nitei Gavriel 44:23
[16] The reason: If the Yahrzeit falls on Friday he is to say the Kaddish as ideally Melacha is permitted until Barchu is recited, and it is hence part of the Friday prayers. [Footnote of Rebbe in Sefer Haminhagim ibid based on Admur 261:7] It goes without saying that this Kaddish is recited by one whose Yahrzeit is on Shabbos as it is said as part of the Shabbos prayers, as well as that it is today always said after sunset when the Yahrzeit has already begun. [Beir Heiytiv ibid; See Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 10]
[17] Rama ibid in name of Maharil regarding Kaddish that he overrides the 12 month Avel but not the Shiva Avel, and splits the Kaddeishim with the Shloshim Avel; Shach 376:10; M”A 132:2; Biur Halacha ibid; See Beis Lechem Yehuda 376
[18] Rama ibid regarding Kaddish that the Yahrzeit gets one Kaddish; Taz 376:4; Biur Halacha ibid
Other Poskim: Some Poskim rule the Shloshim does not get any Kaddeishim or Tefilos over the Yahrzeit. [Minhagim, brought in Taz 376:4] Other Poskim rule that one who is within Shloshim receives precedence over a Yahrzeit. [Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah 4:60] The Poskim however rule as does the Rama and Mishneh Berurah and so is the custom. [Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 117]
[19] Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 146; Igros Kodesh 16:12; Toras Menachem 2 p. 125; Sefer Haminhagim p. 19 [English]; Shulchan Menachem 5:163; Seder Minhagei Yahrzeit Chabad [Heichal Menachem]
[20] The reason: Each of the five candles correspond to one of the five levels of the soul which are Nefesh, Ruach, Neshamah, Chaya, Yechida.
[21] Custom of Rebbeim and some Chassidim, as explained below; See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20 and M”B 154:56 that it was accustomed to light a 24 hour candle in Shul on the day of the Yahrzeit
Custom of Rebbeim to light five 24-hour candles: The custom of the Rebbeim was to light five 24-hour candles in Shul by the Amud for the day of the Yahrzeit. [So was custom of Rebbe Rayatz and Rebbe Rashab, as brought in Reshimos 183:11 and so was the custom of the Rebbe, as related to me by Rabbi Leibel Groner;] This is despite the fact that Sefer Haminhagim ibid clearly writes to have it lit at the time of Davening. Rabbi Groner concluded to me that “There are many Chassidim that do the same thing. Each one should do according to their feeling.”
[22] Torah Leshma 520 that the son himself is to light the candle on behalf of his father or mother; Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibel Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680; Custom of Rebbe Rayatz, recorded in Reshimos 183:11
[23] Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibel Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680
[24] Directive of Rebbe repeated by Rav Leibel Groner, recorded in Hiskashrus 680
[25] M”A 282:18; Levush 282; Shaareiy Ephraim 2:1; Biur Halacha 136 “Shabbos”; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; See Nitei Gavriel 70:13-15
[26] Sichos Kodesh 5737 1:424 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:321] “The old age custom amongst Chassidim is to give a Tikkun”; Hisvadyus 5745 5:2717; 5750 1:245; Nitei Gavriel 71:1 [see there footnote 1 for reasons]; Minchas Yitzchak 6:135; Piskeiy Teshuvos 568:7
[27] See Nitei Gavriel 71:2
[28] Siddur Beis Yaakov Emek Habracha “Seder Limud Yahrzeit” page 406
[29] Omitted from the Rebbe’s letter of directives for the Yahrzeit of the Rebbe Raytaz; Omitted from Sefer Haminhagim; Written in Seder Yahrzeit of Heichal Menachem regarding visiting the Beis Hachaim [however, not as part of the Seder Yahrzeit]
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