
If the deceased passed away on Shabbos [or before Shabbos and was not yet buried], the relatives in mourning are to eat on Motzei Shabbos without making Havdalah so long as it is still prior to the burial. However, after the burial, Havdalah must to be recited [prior to eating or drinking any food[2]; prior to eating the Seudas Havraah].[3] [The mourner may make Havdalah even using his own wine.[4] The blessings over Besamim and Haeish are not recited in Havdalah when taking place on Sunday or onwards, although it is recited when Havdalah takes place on Motzei Shabbos, after the burial.[5] The requirement to say Havdalah applies so long as the burial takes place prior to Tuesday night.[6] If, however, the burial takes place after Tuesday night, Havdalah is no longer recited.[7] If the mourner began eating or drinking and then remembered, he must immediately stop eating or drinking and say Havdalah.[8]]
Q&A If the Onen said/heard Havdalah on Motzei Shabbos, prior to the burial, must he repeat Havdalah afterwards? Some Poskim[9] rule that if the mourner said or listened to Havdalah prior to the burial, while still in a state of Aninus, he is not required to repeat Havdalah later on. Other Poskim[10] however rule he is required to repeat Havdalah after the burial. If, however, the Onen said Havdalah prior to even discovering the death, then he is not required to repeat it after burial according to all.[11] Are the Pesukim of Hinei Keil Yeshuasi recited when an Avel says Havdalah?[12] No.[13] However, some Poskim[14] write that those Aveilim who are accustomed to wear Shabbos clothing until after Havdalah even during Shiva, may recite the verses of Hinei Keil Yeshuasi in Havdalah. Practically, this was the Rebbe’s custom.[15] |
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[1] Michaber 341:2; Tur 341 in name of Maharam of Rothenberg; Taz 396:1; Shach 396:1 and Nekudos Hakesef; See Nitei Gavriel 29
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the Onen is not to recite Havdalah even after the burial, as once he is exempt the exemption remains in place even later. [Tur in name of Rosh; Rosh [student of Maharam] in end of Moed Katan; brought in Taz 396:1; See Taz ibid why this ruling here of the Michaber like the Maharam does not contradict his ruling his ruling in 396:3 like the Rosh even though it is the same dispute; See also Shach 396:1 and Nekudos Hakesef] Other Poskim rule an Onen is obligated in Havdalah even before the burial. [Sefer Haitim in name of Rav Shmuel Hanagid]
[2] Admur 299:8; Rosh Brachos 3:2
[3] The reason: As the time of Havdalah even initially extends until Tuesday and is not considered Tashlumin. Therefore, although the mourner was initially exempt, now he has become obligated after the burial. [Taz ibid; Shach ibid and in Nekudos Hakesef]
[4] Kitzur SHU”A 196:10; Darkei Hachaim 3:9; Gesher Hachaim 20:2; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83 footnote 7 and 29:7 and 118:8
[5] 299:9
[6] Shach 341:12; Taz 341:6; Admur 299:8; Rama 299:6; 1st opinion in Michaber 299:1
Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that past Sunday one can no longer say Havdalah. [2nd opinion brought in Michaber 299:6] Based on this, some Poskim rule that he is to say Havdalah without Hashem’s name. [Ben Ish Chaiy Vayeitzei 2; Kaf Hachaim 299:26 and 3] Furthermore, some Poskim rule that from Sunday night and onwards the obligation of Havdalah is only Tashlumin [Chasam Sofer 17; Sdei Chemed Asifas Dinim Mareches Hei 15], and based on the explanation of the Taz 396:1, according to these Poskim the Avel is exempt from Havdalah if the burial takes place on Sunday night or later. However, the Taz 341:6 and Shach 341:12 explicitly extend the period of Havdalah until Tuesday night, and so writes the Rebbe in Likkutei Sichos 31 Yisro 2 footnote 42 that according to Admur ibid, Havdalah is never Tashlumin and can initially be done until Tuesday night.
[7] Poskim ibid
[8] Admur 299:8; Rama 299:6; 1st and 2nd opinion in Michaber 299:6
Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule if one ate prior to saying Havdalah over wine, then on Sunday or onwards he can no longer say Havdalah. [3rd opinion brought in Michaber 299:6] Admur rules like the first opinion
[9] Panim Meiros 2:149 [said Havdalah], brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:19; Beis David 164 [Heard Havdalah], brought in Birkeiy Yosef 341:19; Shalmei Tzibur p. 180; Chaim Bayad 125; Shevet Halevi 3:167; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 29:3 footnote 6-7; See Birkeiy Yosef ibid that there is no difference between hearing and saying in this regard. See however Nesiv Hachaim 247:8 who rules like the Panim Meiros regarding if he said Havdalah and like the Birkeiy Yosef [brought next] regarding if he heard Havdalah. Perhaps he holds that there is an Anan Sahadi?? that one does not want to be Yotzei against Halacha and hence even though he had in mind to be Yotzei it’s as if he did not have in mind-Vetzaruch Iyun!
[10] Birkeiy Yosef ibid in name of Hagahos Maimanis Avel 4, Rosh Brachos 3 in name of Maharam, Rabbeinu Yerucham Nesiv who all rule explicitly that if he heard he is not Yotzei. The Birkei Yosef himself does not conclusively write like either opinion, although strongly questions the former opinion
[11] Daas Torah 341 based on Yalkut Shimoni that Berurya delayed telling him of the son’s death until after he made Havdalah, brought in Nitei Gavriel 29:4; See Michaber 402:12
[12] Piskeiy Teshuvos 296:6; Nitei Gavriel 118:9
[13] Pischeiy Teshuvah 376:2 and 391:1 in name of Har Karmel 20; Darkei Hachaim 8:10; Pnei Baruch 20:2
[14] Nitei Gavriel ibid in name of Mishnas Yaakov 192b
[15] Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 18; Heard from Rabbi Leibel Groner
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