It is permitted to serve all types of foods and delicacies during the Seudas Havraah, and the mourners may eat of these catered foods to their hearts content. Certain foods are specifically to be served, as will be explained.

Bread: Some Poskim^[2] rule it is required for bread to be served by the Seudas Havraah.^[3] Other Poskim^[4] rule it is not required to eat bread, and they can be served any food. [Practically, it is customary to serve bagels, and other round bakery goods, as the round shape is similar to the shape of an egg and lentils which are foods of mourners.^[5]]

Eggs and Lentils:^[6] The mourners are to be served [a hard-boiled^[7]] eggs, or a cooked dish with lentils, during the Seudas Havraah.^[8] They are to begin their meal with these foods and only afterwards move on to eating other [catered] foods, to their content. [The eggs are not to be peeled by the mourners but rather by others.^[9] If eggs or lentils are not able to be catered, then the mourners are to be given other foods to eat with their bread, or even coffee and tea.^[10]]

Meat:^[11] It is permitted to serve/eat meat, and all forms of delicacies, during the Seudas Havraah and throughout Shiva.^[12] [This applies towards all Kosher meat and poultry, without restriction. Furthermore, some Poskim^[13] rule it is even a Mitzvah and obligation for the mourner to eat meat during the meal. Practically, one is not required to eat meat if he does not wish to do so.^[14]] Nevertheless, the mourners are to first be served the eggs and lentils, and may then eat to their hearts desire [of the other catered foods].

Wine:^[15] It is permitted to serve/drink wine during the Seudas Havraah and throughout Shiva.^[16] [Accordingly, some are accustomed to serve wine to the mourner as part of the Seudas Havraah.^[17] Furthermore, some Poskim^[18] rule it is even a Mitzvah and obligation for the mourner to drink wine during the meal.^[19] Practically, the mourner is not required to drink wine if he does not wish to do so.^[20]] Nevertheless, he is to limit his intake of wine, and is only to drink it during the meal, to help digest the food, and not during other times to get drunk.^[21]

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[1] Michaber 378:8

[2] Aruch Hashulchan 378:2; Chochmas Shlomo 378

[3] The reason: As the main aspect of the catered meal is the bread, as stated in Yechezkel ibid, and hence other foods are not restricted against being eaten. [ibid]

[4] Divrei Malkiel 2:97

[5] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83:7 footnote 14 and that so is Chabad custom; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 27] that the Rebbe Rayatz at a bagel and fried egg for the Seudas Havraah

[6] Michaber 378:9; Tur 378 in name of Ramban in Toras Hadam

[7] See Nitei Gavriel 83:7 footnote 15; See however Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 27] that the Rebbe Rayatz at a bagel and fried egg for the Seudas Havraah

[8] The reason: This is done in commemoration of the mourning. [Michaber ibid] As eggs and lentils are round and do not have a mouth, similar to a mourner who cannot speak due to his state of sadness and mourning. [Shach 378:8]

[9] Beis Yosef 378 in Bedek Habayis in name of Orchos Chaim Avel p. 532; Rav Akiva Eiger 378

[10] Nitei Gavriel 83:7

[11] Michaber 378:8 [regarding eating] 378:9 [regarding serving]; Rambam 4:6

[12] The reason: The prohibition of eating meat only applies prior to the burial when the mourner is an Onen, however during Shiva it is permitted to drink wine and eat meat. [Shach 378:7]

[13] Hagahos Maimanis 7:7, brought in Beis Yosef 378

[14] Setimas Michaber and Nosei Keilim in Shulchan Aruch; Beis Yosef 378; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83:8 footnote 22

[15] Michaber 378:8 [regarding eating] 378:9 [regarding serving]; Rambam 4:6

[16] The reason: The prohibition of drinking wine only applies prior to the burial when the mourner is an Onen, however during Shiva it is permitted to drink wine and eat meat. [Shach 378:7]

[17] See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83:8 footnote 22

[18] Kesubos 8b, brought in Tur 378, “The Sages instituted 10 cups of wine to be drunk in the Shiva home”; The Tur ibid learns this Gemara literally that one is meant to drink wine and concludes “and so is the custom”; Hagahos Maimanis 7:7, brought in Beis Yosef 378; Beis Hillel 478 that for this reason even a Nazir in Aveilus may drink wine as it is a Biblical Mitzvah and obligation; See however Yad Avraham 378 who argues on his conclusion; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 83:8 footnote 22

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the above statement of the Gemara was not to be taken literally as an obligation but rather simply as a giving of permission. [Beis Yosef 378 in explanation of Rambam]

[19] The reason: As the whole purpose of creation of wine was to comfort mourners. [Eiruvin 65a, brought in Beis Hillel ibid]

[20] Setimas Michaber and Nosei Keilim in Shulchan Aruch; Beis Yosef 378 “The custom is not like this approach”

[21] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid in name of Ramban; Kesubos ibid “Since they saw people were drinking and getting drunk, they amended their decree.”

[22] Nitei Gavriel 83:8

[23] Nitei Gavriel 92:11 based on the prohibition to send presents to the mourner; See Rama 696:6 that one may not send Mishloach Manos to a mourner, and M”A 696:11 regarding Mishloach Manos of the Avel and that he is not to send sweets

[24] Mishnah Moed Katan 23a; Aruch Hashulchan 378:7; Vetzaruch Iyun as to why this ruling was omitted from the Michaber

[25] Yifei Laleiv 378; See Michaber 167:17; Admur 167:21

[26] The reason: As the Avel does not desire to eat and hence it is to be placed in his hands to encourage him to eat. [ibid]

[27] Gesher Hachaim, brought in Nitei Gavriel 83:7