5. Being a Sandek twice:[1]

It is customary not to honor the same individual twice as Sandek, to be the Sandek for more than one son of an individual.[2] [This is practiced even today.[3] Some are stringent in this even if the child has died.[4] However, there is no issue for one to be Sandek twice on behalf of sons of different individuals.[5] However, some Poskim[6] are stringent in this matter. If one is unsure if a person has already been honored to be the Sandek for one of his sons, he is to be stringent.[7]]

Child died r”l: Some Poskim[8] rule that if the previous son has died r”l then it is permitted for the person who was the Sandek for their son to be the Sandek also for the second son. Other Poskim[9], however, rule that even in such a case one should not be a Sandek for a second son.

Father of child: Some Poskim[10] rule that this restriction applies even to the father of the child that he should not be a Sandek for more than one of his sons, and so is the Chabad custom. Other Poskim[11], however, rule that there is no issue for a father [and some say even other relatives[12]] to be a Sandek for more than one of his sons.

Is the prohibition on the Sandek himself: Some Poskim[13] rule that this prohibition only applies to the father of the child, that he may not honor the same person to be Sandek twice. However, if a person was offered to be Sandek for a second son, then there is no prohibition for him to do so. Other Poskim[14], however, rule that the worry applies both to the father of the child and to the Sandek himself, and hence he is to refuse being Sandek for more than one child.

Rav of city:[15] Some Poskim[16] rule that the Rav of the community may be Sandek for more than one son of the same father, and so is the Chabad custom.[17] Other Poskim[18], however, are stringent even in such a case.

[1] Rama Y.D. 265:11; Maharil in name of Rabbeinu Peretz; Tzavaas Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 40 [or 35 or 42, depending on print]; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 265:15; Shemiras Hanefesh 138; Kitzur SHU”A 163:1; Kaf Hachaim 116:183; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:2-8; Shevach Habris 17:6; See Hagahas Yad Shaul on Rama ibid who asks based on this how it was permitted for Yosef to be the Sandek for both of his great-grandsons; See Pesakim Uteshuvos 265:30; Likkutei Sichos 35 p. 263; Shulchan Menachem 5 p. 126

[2] The reason: This is due to that the Sandek is compared to a priest who offers incense, and each time the incense was offered it was done by a new priest who never before had offered the incense. [Rama ibid; See Shiyurei Bracha 265] Alternatively, this is due to reasons of danger. [See Tzavaas Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid 4; Shivim Temarim ibid]

[3] Poskim ibid

Other opinions: Some write that in today’s times we no longer suspect for the above matter and hence one may be a Sandek for two children of the same father. [Shemiras Hanefesh 139; Kaf Hachaim ibid; See Noda Beyehuda Kama Y.D. 86; Yechaveh Daas 3:77; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:10]

[4] See Shivim Temarim ibid; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:7

[5] Shach Y.D. 265:22; Beis Hillel 265; Pesach Eiynayim Yuma 67; Birkeiy Yosef 265:19; See Shiyurei Bracha 265; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:9

[6] Beis Dovid, brought in Birkeiy Yosef ibid

[7] Shivim Temarim ibid; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:8

[8] Tzavaas Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid ibid

[9] Shivim Temarim ibid that according to reason of Maharil and Rama ibid there is no reason to differentiate if the previous child r”l died or not.

[10] Chasam Sofer O.C. 158 [that so is the custom, although he questions this on the basis that a Kohen may withhold his Matanos for himself]; Igros Kodesh 12:434 that Anash are not accustomed to do so [in answer to Rav Meir Avtzon a”h who wanted to be a Sandek a second time by his sons Yona’s second sons Mila]; Shevach Habris 17:6

[11] Migdal Oz 9:5; Siddur Yaavetz; Shivim Temarim on Tzavah Os 40 in implication of Tzavah who writes a “friend” should not do it twice; Yad Shaul Y.D. 265; Zecher Dovid 1:75; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:5

[12] Yad Shaul Y.D. 265 [i.e. grandfather and other relatives]; However, see Shivim Temarim ibid who negates this and says the allowance is only for the father; See Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 150:6 footnote 9 

[13] Yad Shaul Y.D. 265; Mili Dechassidusa

[14] Shivim Temarim 12

[15] Shevach Habris 17:6

[16] Noda Beyehuda Kama Y.D. 86; Chasam Sofer O.C. 158; Shaareiy Teshuvah O.C. 551:3; Y.D. 265:14; Chasam Sofer; Mili Dechassidusa 40; Likkutei Sichos 20:247 based on Targum Yonason on Bereishis 50:23 that Yosef was the Sandek for both of his grandsons; Koveitz Minhagei Chabad Beinyanei Hirayon Vileida p. 23 that the Rebbe Rashab told Rav Elchonan Morozov that it is permitted for one to be a Sandek for more than one son if it is for the benefit and honor of the newborn, and based on this, he honored the Rebbe Rayatz to be the Sandek for two of his sons; Shevach Habris 17:6

[17] The reason: As he has the status of a Kohen Gadol who may be honored more than once to offer the Kerores. [Chasam Sofer ibid; Likkutei Sichos ibid; See Yuma 14a; Rambam Hilchos Keli Hamikdash 5:12]

[18] Shivim Temarim 12