4. Who is to do the Taharah?

Jew versus gentile: The Taharah may only be done by [religious[1]] Jews. It is forbidden to be done by a gentile.[2] In general, a gentile is not to touch the deceased at all, whether during the Taharah or afterwards.[3] One is to prevent a gentile from even seeing the body.[4]

Man versus woman:[5] A man is not to perform the Taharah on the body of a woman, although a woman may perform the Taharah on the body of a man.[6] [Practically, the custom is for men to do Taharah onto men and women onto women.[7] A single man who never got married is to abstain from doing the Taharah.[8] It is proper for the women to be ritually pure, and thus in most communities, the female members of the Chevra Kadisha are older women.[9] A pregnant woman should not perform the Taharah, even though there is no Halachic prohibition for her to do so.[10] The women are to be dressed modestly and are to cover their hair.[11] If the deceased asked for an individual to be excluded from his Taharah, then his wishes are to be respected.[12]] The water used for the Taharah is not to be drawn by a woman.[13]

Relatives:[14] A man is not to be involved in the Taharah of his father, step father, father in-law, or sisters’ husband.[15] Likewise, a woman is not to be involved in the Taharah of her mother, step mother, mother in-law, and brother’s wife.[16] Other relatives, however, may be involved in the Taharah. Some, however, are accustomed that no relatives partake in the Taharah.[17] If no one else is available who knows how to do the Taharah, then all relatives are valid.

Sons:[18] Based on Kabbalah, it is proper for the sons to be involved in certain aspects of the Taharah and burial of their father.[19] Practically, the Chabad custom is for the sons not to be involved in any of the aspects of the burial of their father, including the Taharah, carrying the body, or any other matter. [Thus, if non-relatives are not available, relatives other than the sons should be given precedence to perform the Taharah.]

How many people:[20] Some are accustomed to have ten people involved in the Taharah, and at the very least not less than 3-4 people.

Immersing in a Mikveh beforehand:[21] Those performing the Taharah are to immerse in a Mikveh beforehand.

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[1] Shevet Yehuda Y.D. 352:4; Nitei Gavriel 40:1

[2] Sefer Hachaim 311; Kaf Hachaim 311:32; Darkei Chesed 11:1; Nitei Gavriel 40:1 based on Rashal Beitza 1:10

[3] Radbaz 2:507 regarding Taharah; Mishmeres Shalom Ayin 7; Darkei Chesed 11:1 in name of Harechitza Hagedola of Hillel Hazakein, brought in Lechem Hapanim 352:4 [not found in source]; Nitei Gavriel 40:2; See Admur 526:7 and Michaber 526:4 that even on Yom Tov Sheiyni, a Jew is to be involved in the entire process, and it is not to be done through a gentile even if he is available.

[4] Sefer Chassidim 533 “in the Kever”; Beis Lechem Yehuda 362; Rav Akiva Eiger 362; Makor Chesed on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 40:3

[5] Michaber 352:3; Aruch Hashulchan 352:2; Divrei Malkiel 5:154; Gesher Hachaim p. 103; Nitei Gavriel 40:4

[6] The reason: This is due to worry that the man may have erotic thoughts. However, a woman is not suspected of erotic thought to this extent. [Shach 352:1]

[7] Nitei Gavriel 40:4

[8] Machaneh Chaim C.M. 11; Nitei Gavriel 41:7

[9] Nitei Gavriel 40:4-5; However, see there regarding time of need, and single woman

[10] Nitei Gavriel 40:6 as the trauma can endanger the child

[11] Nitei Gavriel 40:12

[12] Sefer Chassidim 537; Nitei Gavriel 41:5

[13] Lechem Hapanim 352:4 from Seder Rechitza of Hillel Hazakein; Nitei Gavriel 39:9

[14] Gesher Hachaim 9:1; p. 111; Darkei Chesed 11:7; Nitei Gavriel 41:1-3; See there also regarding students performing Taharah on their Rebbe

[15] See Rama E.H. 23:6 and Y.D. 242:16 that the Talmud Pesachim 51a prohibits one from bathing together with his father or step father, or father in-law, or sister’s husband [brother in-law]; omitted from Tur and Michaber both in Yoreh Deah and Even Haezer

[16] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[17] See Darkei Chesed p. 306 in Yiddish Seder Taharah; He does not make such a point earlier in 11:7

[18] Darkei Chesed 11:7

[19] See Mavor Yabok Sifsei Rinanos 9 regarding placing the earth on the eyes and being the first to put the earth on the corpse; Nitei Gavriel 49:20

[20] Nitei Gavriel 40:14

[21] Gesher Hachaim 9:1; Darkei Chesed 11:2 [p. 44]; Beir Moshe 8:115; Nitei Gavriel 40:7