4. Attribute of judgment hovers over the relatives:

Like a sword is over one’s neck:[1] Throughout the first three days of mourning, the Avel is to view as if a sword is resting between his shoulders. From the 4th day until the end of Shiva the Avel is to look upon himself as if a sword is resting in a corner opposite him. From the end of Shiva until the Shloshim the Avel is to look upon himself as if a sword is passing in front of him in the marketplace. Throughout the entire year, the severity of judgment hangs over the family of the deceased. However, if a male child is born to the family, the entire family is healed.

Friends:[2] One whose friend [or community member] passed away, the entire community is to be of worry.

Teshuvah:[3] One who does not mourn as commanded by the Sages is considered cruel. He is rather to be fearful and worry and perform a Cheshbon Nefesh and do Teshuvah. [“Vehachaiy Yiten El Libo/And the living should take to heart” means that he should contemplate that perhaps he too will suddenly die, and he should thus be aroused in Teshuvah.[4]]

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[1] Michaber 394:4; Yerushalmi end of Moed Katan

If relative was murdered: Some Poskim rule that if the relative was murdered, then the attribute of severity does not hover over the family members. [Daas Kedoshim, brought in Nitei Gavriel 113:6]

Relative was of old age: Some Poskim write that if the relative who died was past 70 years of age, then the attribute of severity does not hover over the family members. [Daas Kedoshim, brought in Nitei Gavriel 113:7]

[2] Michaber 394:5; Shabbos 105b

[3] Michaber 394:6; Rambam Avel 13:12; Chinuch Mitzvah 264

[4] Derisha 403:1; Miseches Semachos 12