3. Lighting a candle:[1]
A [single[2]] candle is to be lit throughout the Shiva.[3] [Some are accustomed to light the candle using olive oil, although most people light a wax candle.[4] A seven-day wax or oil candle should be used for this purpose. If one cannot find a seven-day candle, one may use 24-hour candles and light them continuously throughout the Shiva.]
Where:[5] The candle is to be lit in the room, or the home, that the person passed away in. [If this is not possible, such as if they passed away outside their home, it is customary to light the seven-day candle in the Shiva home.[6] This applies whether this is the home of the deceased, or a different home.[7] There is no need however for it to be lit in all the Shiva homes, in case the relatives are sitting Shiva in more than one home.[8] One may however do so if he chooses.]
What to say upon lighting the candle:[9] Upon lighting the candle, one is to say that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni [i.e. name of deceased] Ben Peloni [i.e. name of father of deceased].”
Who should light the candle:[10] The son [or daughter] of the deceased is to personally light the candle rather than delegating it to someone else to light.
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Summary: A single seven-day wax or oil candle is lit by the child of the deceased, within the home of the deceased, or alternatively within the main Shiva home, throughout Shiva. Upon lighting the candle, one says that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni Ben Peloni.”
Q&A If the burial occurred on Chol Hamoed and the Shiva will only begin after Yom Tov, when is the candle to be lit?[11] The candle is to be lit immediately after the burial.
Is a seven-day candle to be lit throughout the first year? It is a proper custom to do so. See Chapter 24 Halacha 3 for the full details of this subject.
Placing a bowl of water near the candle:[12] Some are accustomed to place a bowl of water near the candle throughout the Shiva.[13] Practically, however, one is not to do so due to the prohibition of Darkei Emori.[14]
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[1] See Nitei Gavriel 92:2-5
[2] Reply of Rav Groner that five candles are only lit for Davening and not throughout the Shiva
[3] Shivlei Haleket 21; Tanya 67; Nachalas Shiva 73; Chasam Sofer 1:142; Torah Leshma 520; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6-7
The reason: Souls receive pleasure from light. [Rabbeinu Bechayeh Teruma] The candle helps to sooth the soul, which returns to the home where it lived and mourns there for seven days. [Torah Leshma ibid]
[4] See Gesher Hachaim p. 198 that based on Zohar some use olive oil candles; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6
[5] Torah Leshma ibid; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7 that the main Nachas Ruach for the Neshamah is in the home of the passing and not the Shiva home [if they are two different homes], or even the home of the deceased if that is not where he passed away; Lashon Chachamim 28 writes it is actually troublesome for the Neshamah to have the candles lit in another home
[6] Nitei Gavriel ibid and Poskim in footnote 9; See however Torah Leshma ibid and other Poskim in Nitei Gavriel footnote 7 and 9 that there is no point of lighting the candle in a different home.
[7] See Nitei Gavriel ibid
[8] See Poskim in previous footnotes; Rav Groner replied to me that the candle lit throughout the year is only lit in the house of the Niftar.
[9] Torah Leshma ibid
[10] Torah Leshma ibid
[11] Nitei Gavriel 92:3
[12] See Nitei Gavriel 92:4
[13] Minhagei Worms p. 102; Leket Yosher p. 96; See Nitei Gavriel 92 footnote 12
[14] Lechem hapanim 376 in name of Maaneh Lashon; Chochmas Adam in Matzeivas Moshe 13; Aruch Hashulchan 376:11; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 994; Misgeres Hashulchan 376; See Michaber 350
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