2. When is the meal to be served/eaten?^[1] A. The general law:

The Seudas Havraah is only required to be served on the first day of Shiva. From the second day and onwards, the mourners may eat their own food even if they did not eat a Seudas Havraah on the first day. Thus, if for whatever reason the meal was not served on the first day of Shiva, the mourners may eat their own foods as soon as nightfall begins and do not need to be served by others.

Burial occurred during the day:^[2] If the burial was performed during the day, the meal is to be served anytime up until nightfall. If the Seudas Havraah was not served prior to nightfall, there is no longer a need for it to be served. Thus, for example, if the burial was completed right before nightfall, then after nightfall the mourners do not have to partake in a Seudas Havraah and may eat of their own food right away. [Nevertheless, it is permitted for the neighbors to serve a Seudas Havraah at night even though there is no obligation to do so.^[3]]

Burial occurred at night:^[4] If the burial was performed by night, the meal is served anytime during the night, and if it was not served that night it is to be served anytime the next day, prior to sunset. [However, as stated above, the mourners may not eat their own foods until they eat this meal, and hence for their sake, the earlier the meal is served the better.]

B. Special circumstances and times of year?

Shemua Kerova/Rechoka:^[5] A Seudas Havraah is to be served to the mourner upon hearing the news of his relative’s burial, if he heard of it within 30 days [of the death^[6], i.e. Shemua Kerova]. If, however, he only heard of it after thirty days [from the death, i.e. Shemua Rechoka] then he is not to be served a Seudas Havraah.

Child/Nefel who passed away:^[7] A Seudas Havraah is not needed to be served after the passing of a child for [whom one does not mourn, such as a child] who passed away prior to being 31 days old and one is not factually certain that he was born after nine months [i.e. Nefel]. [If, however the child was older than 30 full days, then a Seudas Havraah is required to be served to his relatives.]

Shabbos:^[8] A Seudas Havraah is not served on Shabbos, even if he heard a Shemua Kerova that day.^[9] Furthermore, in such a case, it is not even served after Shabbos.^[10]

Erev Shabbos/Yom Tov:^[11] If the deceased was buried on Friday close to Shabbos, prior to Bein Hashmashos, the Seudas Havraah is not served to the mourners and so is the custom.^[12] [The same applies towards Erev Yom Tov, that if the deceased was buried close to Yom Tov, the Seudas Havraah is not served.^[13] See Q&A regarding Erev Pesach! The above law applies beginning from the start of the 10th hour, which is three Zmaniyos^[14] hours before sunset.^[15] Thus, if the Seudas Havraah was not served prior to the 10th hour, such as if the burial concluded close to, or past, this time, then it is no longer to be served. Nevertheless, it is forbidden for the mourners to eat until the commencement of Shabbos, and start of their Shabbos meal.^[16]]

Yom Tov: A Seudas Havraah is not served on Yom Tov, even if he heard a Shemua Kerova that day, even by the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora.^[17] Furthermore, in such a case that the Shiva is beginning after Yom Tov, it is not served even after Yom Tov.^[18]

Chol Hamoed:^[19] If the deceased was buried on Chol Hamoed the mourners are to be served a Seudas Havraah after the body is buried. Only the relatives of the deceased [who are in mourning^[20]] are to be served the Seudas Havraah.^[21] The mourners are to sit on regular chairs at the table upon eating this meal.^[22] [However, some communities are accustomed to only serve the meal to the children of the deceased.^[23] On Chol Hamoed, one does not serve the mourners the accustomed foods of mourning for this meal, such as eggs or lentils, and rather regular foods, such as coffee and cake/Matzah, are to be served.^[24] Some^[25] say that the mourners are to be served meat and wine. Some Poskim^[26] rule that there is no prohibition on Chol Hamoed for the mourners to eat their own food for the Seudas Havraah and thus they do not have to be fed by others. Nevertheless, it is proper for others to give them food for this meal.]

Rosh Chodesh/Chanukah/Purim:^[27] If the deceased was buried on Rosh Chodesh/Chanukah/Purim, the Seudas Havraah is to be served as usual. [Nevertheless, some Poskim^[28] rule that one is not to serve the customary mourning foods of eggs and lentils on Chanukah or Purim, and rather one is to serve meat/wine.]

Erev Yom Kippur:[29] The Seudas Havraah is served regularly on Erev Yom Kippur.   Erev Pesach: Some Poskim[30] rule that a Seudas Havraah is not served on Erev Pesach in the event that the burial occurred that day or the previous night. This applies even before midday.[31] Other Poskim[32] however rule that up until midday a Seudas Havraah is served while after midday it is not served. Some[33] suggest that it is to be served up until the end time of eating Chametz.   Fast day: When is the Seudas Havraah served if the first day of Shiva [i.e. after burial] is a fast day?[34] On a fast day, since the mourners are also required to fast, a Seudas Havraah is not served. It is likewise not served after the fast and hence they may immediately begin to eat their own food after the fast concludes. One who is not fasting:[35] It is disputed amongst Poskim as to whether a mourner who is exempt from fasting must eat a Seudas Havraah on a fast day, and may not eat his own food until he does so. What is the law if a second relative was buried during Shiva:[36] In the event that a second relative of the mourner passed away and was buried during Shiva, the mourners are to be served a second Seudas Havraah for the second relative. When do the Chasan or Kallah who are within Shiva eat the Seudas Havraah?[37] In the event that the Shiva will begin only after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos [See Chapter 13 Halacha 10], the Chasan or Kallah become obligated in being served the Seudas Havraah on the night after the conclusion of the Sheva Brachos [i.e. Motzei Sheva Brachos].

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[1] Michaber 378:3; Shach 378:5; Radbaz 424, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 378:1; See Tur 378; Nitei Gavriel 8:1

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that if the Avel did not eat the Seudas Havraah on the first day then he must eat it the second day. [Opinion in Tur ibid, Tur concludes with Tzaruch Iyun] Furthermore, some Poskim rule that if the burial occurred on Erev Shabbos and there was not enough time to serve the meal on Erev Shabbos, then it is to be served on Motzei Shabbos. [Poskim brought in Birkeiy Yosef 378]

[2] Rama 378:3; Shach 378:5; Radbaz ibid; Noda Beyehuda Y.D. 98; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the obligation to eat the Seudas Havraah continues throughout the second night that follows the day of burial. [Nimukei Yosef in name of Ritva, brought in Beis Yosef 378; Chaim Bayad 121, brought in Sdei Chemed Aveilus 102 that so is the custom to serve the Seudas Havraah even on the second night when there was not enough time during the day, following burial, to do so; See Noda Beyehuda ibid]

[3] See Sdei Chemed in previous footnote

[4] Noda Beyehuda Y.D. 98, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 378:2; Gilyon Maharsha 378; Kitzur SHU”A 205:5; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 3

[5] Michaber 378:12 and 402:3 regarding Shemua Rechoka; Mordechai and Nimukei Yosef in Moed Katan; Beir Hagoleh 402:3 in name of Rosh regarding Shemua Kerova

[6] Shach 402:5 in name of Derisha and Bach 399 in name of Rashal; Taz 402:6 that we follow the day of death; P”M 548 M”Z 5; Shvus Yaakov 2:100; Chochmas Adam 171:6; Mahariy Asad 371; Gesher Hachaim p. 264; See other Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 62:3 and his final conclusion to be lenient; Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:267] writes that so is the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz to follow the day of death by a Shemua Rechoka

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that we follow the day of burial for a Shemua Rechoka. [Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 402 based on Rabbeinu Yerucham 28:2 argues on the ruling of Rashal that he quoted in Shach 402:5, and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; Degul Mirivava 402; Mahariy Viyal 16; Pnei Yehoshua 9; Kitzur SHU”A 206:1; Aruch Hashulchan 402:10]

[7] Michaber 378:6; Shabbos 136a; ; Nitei Gavriel 135:35

[8] 378:11

[9] Michaber ibid; Rama ibid; Ritva, brought in Beis Yosef 378

The reason: As it is forbidden to perform acts of public mourning on Shabbos. [Ritva ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he is to be served a Seudas Havraah even on Shabbos and that so is the custom of all Jewry and we never heard of anyone protest this act. [Shach 378:11; Darkei Moshe 378:4; Beis Yosef 393; Chochmas Adam 163:15; Matzeivas Moshe 2 in end that one is to serve meat and wine]

[10] Rama ibid in name of opinion in Mordechai and Nimukei Yosef and that so is the custom

The reason: As since the first day was pushed off, therefore we no longer serve him this meal. [ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he is to be served a Seudas Havraah on Motzei Shabbos/Sunday. [Michaber ibid; Mordechai]

[11] Michaber 378:5 in his personal opinion

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he is to be served a Seudas Havraah even in such a case. [Opinion brought in Michaber ibid; Mordechai end of Moed Katan; Hagahos Maimanis 12] Furthermore, some Poskim rule that if the burial occurred on Erev Shabbos and there was not enough time to serve the meal on Erev Shabbos, then it is to be served on Motzei Shabbos. [Poskim brought in Birkeiy Yosef 378]

[12] The reason: Since this meal is not an intrinsic obligation [but rather is simply served because the mourners cannot eat their own foods], therefore it is better to be nullified due to the honor of Shabbos [that one enters into Shabbos with an appetite]. [Michaber ibid]

[13] Pashut; Nitei Gavriel 84:3; See Admur 529:1

[14] The hours are measured not by 60 minutes but in accordance to how many minutes the day contains. This number of minutes is then divided by 12. The result, is the number of minutes calculated per hour. Thus, in the summer these hours are more than 60 minutes each, while in the winter they are shorter. [M”B 249:16] Thus if there are 60 minutes per Zmaniyos hour that day and sunset is at 6:00 P.M. one is not to start a meal after 3:00 P.M.

[15] Chochmas Adama 163:5; Kitzur SHU”A 205:6; Darkei Hachaim 5:9; Gesher Hachaim 20:2-11; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 84:3 footnote 4; Pnei Baruch 7:6; See Admur 249:9 and our Sefer “The Laws & Customs of Erev Shabbos” chapter 5!; See Sdei Chemed Aveilus 100 that the term “close to dark” stated in the Michaber refers only to one who is accustomed to eat after the 10^th hour and still feel hungry for the Shabbos meal.

Other customs: Some are accustomed to not serve a Seudas Havraah starting from midday of Erev Shabbos. [Lechem hapanim 378 in name of Rashal; Darkei Hachaim ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 84:4 footnote 7]

[16] Chochmas Adam ibid; Kitzur SHU”A ibid; Pnei Baruch ibid; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid; See Halacha 1 in Q&A regarding if one may eat a snack or drink and the different opinions on this matter.

[17] Michaber 378:11 and 401:4; Shach 378:10

[18] Rama ibid in name of opinion in Mordechai and Nimukei Yosef and that so is the custom

The reason: As since the first day was pushed off, therefore we no longer serve him this meal. [ibid]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he is to be served a Seudas Havraah on Motzei Yom Tov. [Michaber ibid; Mordechai]

[19] Michaber O.C. 547:8 “One performs Havraah on Chol Hamoed”; Y.D. 401:4 “One only performs Havraah for the relatives of the deceased”; Rosh Moed Katan 59; Ramban in Toras Hadam; Rambam Avel 11:1; Mishnah Moed Katan 24b

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one does not perform a Seudas Havraah on Chol Hamoed. [Maharam from Eretz Haiy; Semag Aveilus 74; Semak 97, brought in Beis Yosef 401; Ritva Moed Katan 22b; Shivlei Haleket 23; Mahariy Bruna 181; Zera Emes 2:156; Kaf Hachaim 547:35; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 84:11 footnote 18] Some Poskim write that so is the custom, not to serve a Seudas Havraah on Chol Hamoed. [Aruch Hashulchan 401:3]

[20] Tosfos Moed Katan ibid

[21] Michaber Y.D. ibid; This is coming to exclude non-relatives, such as the students of a Torah Sage. [See Tosfos Moed Katana ibid] However see end of Michaber ibid and Michaber O.C. 547:9 that a Seudas Havraah may be served even to the public after the passing of a Chacham, as everyone is considered a mourner after his passing. See M”A 547:5 that the definition of a Chacham in this regard is one who can answer a question in all areas of Torah.

[22] Michaber O.C. and Y.D. ibid that it is eaten on “Mitos Zekufos”-straight beds; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 84:12 footnote 20

[23] Mizbeiach Adama 547 that so is the custom in Jerusalem; Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 28:11 footnote 20

[24] Zera Emes 2:156; Daas Torah 547; Chochmas Adam Matzeivas Moshe 2; Kaf Hachaim 547:35; Gesher Hachaim 20:2-10; Piskeiy Teshuvos 548:5; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 84:12 footnote 21

[25] Matzeivas Moshe 2 [of Chochmas Adam]

[26] Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah 2:168; Chol Hamoed Kehilchasa 12:25; Nitei Gavriel 84:14

[27] Michaber 401:4

[28] Chochmas Adam Matzeivas Moshe 2 regarding Purim “In my opinion one is not to serve eggs and lentils but rather meat and wine”; Darkei Hachaim 5:14 regarding Purim; Mishmeres Shalom Hei 10; Nitei Gavriel 123:6; See Nitei Gavriel 84:9 in name of Siddur Beis Oved regarding Chanukah; Piskeiy Teshuvos 696:11

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to serve the regular foods even on Chanukah and Purim. [Sdei Chemed 101; Chaim Bayad 125:23]

[29] Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 121:8 footnote 12

[30] Elya Raba 468 and Beir Heiytiv 471:9 in name of Rashal; P”M 468 M”Z 7

[31] P”M ibid

[32] Beis Yosef 378 in name of Mordechai; M”B 471:22 and Shaar Hatziyon 471:26

[33] Shaar Hatziyon ibid

[34] Darkei Hachaim 5:14; See Nitei Gavriel 84 footnote 1 for other opinions

[35] See Nitei Gavriel 83:16

[36] Aruch Hashulchan 378:6

[37] Chaim Bayad 108; Yalkut Yosef; Nitei Gavriel Nissuin 112:6