1. Which relatives become an Onen?[1]

After the passing of a relative for whom one must mourn, prior to the burial, one enters a state of Aninus, and is called an Onen to which all the laws mentioned in this chapter apply. [This includes the following relatives: Father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, wife.[2] See Chapter 12 for the full details of this matter! The laws of Aninus apply equally to men and women.]

Students of Rebbe: If one’s Rebbe from whom one learned [majority[3]] of his wisdom passes away, he is to keep the [mourning] laws of Aninus, although he is to recite blessings and make a Zimun [and is obligated in all Mitzvos[4]].[5] The student may not eat meat or drink wine after the passing of his main Rebbe, so long as the body is in his presence.[6] Some[7] rule it is proper for the student to avoid eating meat and wine until after the burial.

Children:[8] Children who are below the age of Bar and Bas Mitzvah do not keep any laws of Aninus, as is the law regarding Aveilus. See Chapter 12 Halacha 1B! If the child is a son of the deceased, he is to go to Shul and recite Kaddish even before the burial.

Chasan and Kallah:[9] A Chasan and Kallah do not keep the laws of Aninus during Sheva Brachos.

 

Q&A Do the relatives of a child who passed away under 30 days old enter into a state of Aninus prior to burial? Some Poskim[10] rule the relatives do not have the status of an Onen.[11] Other Poskim[12] however leave this matter in question.[13] Practically, the relatives are obligated to fulfill the Mitzvos, but are not to eat meat, drink wine, or have marital relations until the burial.[14]   Are the mourners of a suicide victim to keep the laws of Aninus prior to the burial?[15] Some Poskim[16] rule the relatives have the status of an Onen. Other Poskim[17] rule the relatives do not have the status of an Onen.

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[1] Michaber 341:1; Admur 71:1

[2] Michaber 374:4

[3] See Rama 340:8 regarding Keriah that so is the custom; Nitei Gavriel 12 footnote 1; 53:3; 126:7 who learns Rabbo Hamuvhak; Rabbo Muvhak refers to one from who one has learned majority of his Torah from. [Rama 242:4; Michaber 242:30; See Bava Metzia 33; Sheilasos 131] The Michaber ibid does not limit the above law to a main teacher.

Nassi/Gadol Hador: It is not necessary to mourn the passing of the Nassi [Michaber 374:11] unless he was his main teacher.

[4] Aruch Hashulchan 374:19

[5] Michaber 374:10; Yerushalmi Brachos chapter 3;

[6] Michaber 242:27; Rama 341:1 in name of Yeish Omrim; Hagahos Ashri; Taz 374:5; Shach 341:10

[7] Taz 374:5 in name of Rashal

[8] Nitei Gavriel 13:1

[9] Nitei Gavriel 13:5 in name of Ritva and Shita Mekubetzes Kesubos 3b and Nitei Gavriel Nessuin 111:9; Sdei Chemed Aveilus 216; Gesher Hachaim 19:7; 2:15-3; Unlike ruling brought in name of Rav Moshe Feinstein.

[10] Dvar Moshe 83 based on Yerushalmi, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 341:1, Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:1; Gilyon Maharsha 341; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 13 footnote 4; See Bach 353

[11] The reason: As a Kohen may not impurify himself to a Nefel, even if he is a relative, hence proving there is no true obligation of burial. Alternatively, even according to the Poskim who rule there is an obligation to bury a Nefel, nevertheless the laws of Aninus do not apply. [Poskim ibid]

[12] Tiferes Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 341, Pischeiy Teshuvah 341:1

[13] The reason: As on the one hand the relatives do not have to mourn the child’s passing or sit Shiva. On the other hand, they are obligated to bury the child, and hence perhaps are prohibited in eating meat and wine, and exempt from all Mitzvos. [ibid]

[14] Nitei Gavriel 135:8

[15] See Pnei Baruch 1:1; Nitei Gavriel 12:4

[16] Levushei Mordechai 4:280; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 8

[17] Zera Emes 3:158; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7