From the Rav’s Desk: Shaalos Veteshuvos on army and more

What was the Rebbe’s position or opinion regarding going to the Israeli Army?

General population: Regarding the general concept of an individual [not specifically Yeshiva Bochurim] going to the Army, the Rebbe was not opposed to this, and even encouraged or pushed certain individuals to do so. In the Rebbe’s own words to an individual who wrote a letter of complaint to the Rebbe asking why Chabad Chassidim don’t join the IDF, “you have misinformation, as indeed there are many Chabad Chassidim who serve in the Army, and have reached many high ranks, and not just in the army Rabbinate.” On one occasion, the Rebbe instructed an individual from the USA who joined the Israeli Army and then left after a few months without intent to go back, that he is Halachically obligated to follow through with his promise to the Army and return in order to complete his service, as going to the Army is a matter of Pikuach Nefesh and he already made himself obligated to them. The Rebbe emphasized that this matter has nothing to do with Zionism, but rather with protecting the Jewish people and the institution which was established to do so. The Rebbe emphasized that this matter applies even not during times of war, as a very large percentage, if not majority, of the Arab population are terrorists or supporters of terrorism, and it is the presence of the Army which instills fear onto them and helps save the Jewish population from harm. The Rebbe emphasized that the individual is obligated to complete a service even if he gets his superiors to agree to let him go, as it is not within their rights to compromise on a matter that is required according to Torah. In this case, the Rebbe negated the ruling of a different Rav who exempted this individual from returning to the IDF. [I personally, after my marriage, served in the Israeli Army based on a letter of the Rebbe in Igros Kodesh. This is a very lengthy story which I will not elaborate on in this article.] This is aside for the well-known fact, that the Rebbe had close relationships with many Army officials, and encouraged soldiers in the IDF on countless occasions, sending them personal letters, blessings, encouragement, and a convoy of Chassidim to deliver them physical and spiritual sustenance. All this however is with exception to Yeshiva Bochurim [or anyone else who studies Torah full-time] whom by definition are intended to study Torah full-time, day and night, and are specifically not to go to the Army as will be explained next. Likewise, even regarding other individuals who are not Yeshiva Bochurim, the Rebbe writes that there isn’t a personal obligation for them to go to the Army, as the IDF can only draft a certain number of people due to reasons of budget, and based on their health record, and each individual can say that obligation is not on him personally due to the many doubts. [Based on this, perhaps one can argue that during times that the Army explicitly says that they have a lack of soldiers, and especially during times of war, then every individual who is of health and age would be obligated to go, unless he studies Torah full-time. Vetzaruch Iyun.]

Yeshiva Bochurim: Regarding Yeshiva Bochurim [or anyone else who studies Torah full-time], which is the general draft age for compulsory service in the Israeli army, the Rebbe was absolutely opposed to them leaving their study of Torah in order to go to the Army, as is indeed the position of the vast majority of Gedolei Yisrael. The reason for this, the Rebbe voiced is because the study of Torah is a necessary component for the success of the protection of the Jewish people by the Army. No army, as great as it may be, lacks vulnerability to attacks, as we clearly saw on October 7. Every Army needs the help of God in heaven to be successful in securing and protecting its citizens. It is the study of Torah that achieves this divine success and protection, and hence as much as we need a physical Army with soldiers, and Air Force and Navy to help protect the Jewish people living in Israel, we also need individuals to sit and study Torah, to help give them the divine assistance necessary for their endeavors to be successful. This concept is based on an explicit Talmudic statement regarding the wars fought by Yoav, the general of David, that it was due to the joint efforts of both Yoav in battle, and Dovid in Torah study, that helped them be successful in war. One without the other would not work. The Rebbe compares this to the various different positions that are held in an Army, which includes many individuals who do not actually enter into combat and rather sit in offices and arrange logistics, or other matters necessary to support the combat soldiers. Those who sit and study Torah should be viewed as another division of the Army, which is there to help give it the moral and divine support which it needs. Accordingly, yeshiva students are not exempt from supporting the Army, but are simply exempt from the general Army service, as their support is given through the study of Torah.

With that said, it is understood that a yeshiva student who slacks off on his Torah studies, whether in order to go to the Army, and certainly if it is for no reason at all other than laziness, is doing a grave sin, and is likened to a soldier who has fled from the Army and is defined as a fugitive. It is certainly a grave offense for a yeshiva student to waste his time and have fun, instead of studying Torah, and also not go to the Army on the basis that he is a yeshiva student, as why are other soldiers blood any less red than his. [On this note, in my opinion, although I am not a prophet and do not have any proof for this position, it would not be preposterous to ponder that perhaps the entire campaign that is being held against yeshiva students to draft them into the Army in today’s times, is due to a spiritual persecution against them in heaven that they are not using their time wisely enough for Torah study, which is a clear dereliction of duty. A similar concept was brought by our Rabbeim regarding the persecution against the Chassidim in the times of the Gr”a, that spiritually it was due to a lack in the part of the Chassidim, and a dereliction of duty to follow the Chassidic ways and teachings.]

See regarding the Rebbe’s general position about going to the IDF: Heeichal Menachem 1:158; Shulchan Menachem 7 p. 102-104; Moreh Ledor Navuch 3 p. 214 See regarding Bochurim in Yeshiva: Sanhedrin 49a; Likkutei Sichos 4 20^th Av p. 86; Toras Menachem 34:233; 50:199; 53:374; 69:153; 5728 Vol. 1 Vav Tishreiy; 5743 2:646; 5744 4:2438; Sichos Kodesh 5732 1 p. 258; 5737 1 p. 182; Igros Kodesh 14:161; 20:318; Besod Siach p. 57, 256; Moreh Ledor Navuch 3 p. 214

Visiting the grave of a relative at the conclusion of 11 months from the passing [i.e. 21st of Menahem Av for those murdered on Oct 7th]

My son who served in an elite unit in the IDF was killed during battle on October 7 [22^nd of Tishreiy] HYD. I was given three different dates by the chaplain of his division for visiting the cemetery with a ceremony. The first being at the conclusion of the 11 months from the passing, the second being at the conclusion of the 12 months of mourning, and the third being after Simchas Torah. He said technically if I want I can choose all three. What dates should I follow?

You should visit the grave both at the end of the 12 months [i.e. 21st Elul], and in proximity to the day of the passing, which is after Simchas Torah, and you can do a ceremony on both dates. Ashkenazim do not visit the grave or make a ceremony at the conclusion of the 11 months, although this is practiced by some Sephardim, although even according to them, the main time for the visitation and ceremony is at the conclusion of the 12 months, or Yartzite. Notwithstanding the above, some are accustomed to make Lechayim in Shul on the day they finish reciting Kaddish at the conclusion of the 11 months.

See regarding visiting by the end of 12th month: Michaber 344:20 based on Tur and Rav Haiy Gaon regarding a Chacham, Aluf, Vegaon, and some are accustomed to do so for all deceased relatives; Nitei Gavriel 65:22; See also Michaber O.C. 547:8 and Y.D. 347:3 that the custom is to recite Hespedim and say Hazkara at the end of the 12th month; As the soul of the deceased is elevated on the 12th month to Heaven and does not come back down again.  Nitei Gavriel 76:9 See regarding visiting by the Yartzite: Rashi Yevamos 122a regarding Yahrzeit of Tzaddik; Kav Hayashar 71 “The custom has spread to visit the Kever of one’s parents on the day of their Yartzite”; Tiferes Yisrael Eidiyus 2 “It is proper on the day of the Yartzite to visit the Kever, as doing so has a great effect on the soul on this day”; Kesav Sofer Y.D. 179 “So is the custom to Daven for the deceased on the day of the Yartzite, and a son honors his father””; Misgeres Hashulchan 376; Darkei Hachaim 34:20; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Nitei Gavriel 71:18; Chapter 76:1 footnote 1 in length See regarding visiting the grave during the first year, prior to 12^th month: See Tur 344 in name of Kol Bo “And one visits him on the day of the Shloshim, and no longer”; Maharam Brisk 2:29; Mishmeres Shalom Hei 26; Gesher Hachaim 29:2; Kinyan Torah 119; See Igros Kodesh 9:301 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:328] “Regarding visiting your fathers Kever during the 12 months, it is dependent on the Minhag of the community, as there are places who are careful in this during the first 12 months. However, if there is no set custom and especially during the months of Elul and Tishreiy, then it is not a big deal for him to go.” See Nitei Gavriel 81:4-7 for all the opinions on this matter!; See Nitei Gavriel 81 footnote 3 and 10 based on Zohar that during the first year the soul knows of his own suffering and cannot be bothered with suffering of others; See regarding making a ceremony and meal on the day they finish reciting Kaddish at end of 11 months [however, no mention is made regarding visiting grave then]: Rav Poalim 3:10-32; Ben Ish Chaiy Vayechi 14; Nesivos Hamaarav 136-137;  Nitei Gavriel 52:4; Yalkut Yosef Aveilus 40:3

How does one calculate the end of the eleven months for Kaddish-from the time of death or the time of burial?^[1]

Some Poskim^[2] rule that the eleven months of Kaddish is counted from the day of burial. Other Poskim^[3] rule it is counted from the day of the death. Practically, one is to follow the day of death.^[4]  

[1] See Igros Kodesh 3:199; 4:107 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:292-295]; Gesher Hachaim 30:9-10; Nitei Gavriel 51:4 footnote 6-8; Pnei Baruch 34:9; Yabia Omer 5 Y.D. 32; 7:43-10; Yalkut Yosef Aveilus 40:4

Background:

There is known dispute regarding whether the 12 months of Aveilus is counted from the day of death/burial, and whether the Yahrzeit is the day of death or burial, and whether the 12 months in Gehinnom is counted from the day of death or burial. It is possible to learn that regarding Kaddish there is a similar dispute, as depending on when the 12 months of Gehinnom concludes would depend on when to conclude Kaddish [see Kneses Yechezkal 47]; On the other hand perhaps it depends on the start date of the Kaddish, whether one started the day of burial or the day of death [see Daas Torah 376:6].

[2] Implication of Shach 402 in Nekudos Hakesef that Mishpat Reshaim of 12 months begins from day of burial [see Kneses Yechezkal 47]; Levush brought in Elya Raba 132:4; Noam Megadim 1; Kitzur SHU”A 26:17; Neharei Afarsimon 97; Biur Halacha 132; See Daas Kedoshim 377; Levushei Mordechai 223

[3] Implication of Taz 568:4 that Mishpat Reshaim of 12 months begins from day of death; Beir Heiytiv 132:5; Siddur Yaavetz 39 [see Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6]; Kneses Yechezkal 47; Mateh Ephraim 4:1; Alef Lamateh Kaddish Yasom 3:5

[4] Igros Kodesh 4:107; Custom of Rebbe Rayatz as brought in Reshimos Hayoman p. 416 [However, see Igros Kodesh 3:199 that the Rebbe directed the asker to follow the day of burial and not the day of death! See also Igros Kodesh 13:410 in which the Rebbe implies to follow the day of the burial. Vetzaruch Iyun!]; Yabia Omer ibid; Yalkut Yosef ibid

The reason: As Admur 71:1 rules to begin saying Kaddish the day of death and according to some Poskim [see Daas Torah ibid] the dispute is dependent on this matter.

If one did not begin saying Kaddish after the burial, for how long is Kaddish to be recited?^[1]

It is only recited until 11 months from the day of death, even if he only began saying Kaddish on the last day of the 11^th month.

[1] See Taz 568:4; Shach 402 in Nekudos Hakesef; P”M 132 A”A 2; M”A 132:2 in name of Ran; Beir Heiytiv 132:2; Rav Akiva Eiger 376 and Beis Lechem Yehuda 376; Gesher Hachaim 30:9-5; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180 [English]; See Pnei Baruch 34:4-5