Question
I am a therapist and have studied and worked with people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It is an extremely challenging disorder to treat, as individuals with NPD rarely seek help voluntarily and often do not believe they need therapy. [This experience is very common among clinicians, who consistently report that people with NPD rarely seek treatment on their own, often externalize blame, resist vulnerability, may idealize and then devalue the therapist, and struggle to recognize or articulate their own emotional world.] Is there anything in Chassidic teachings that discusses narcissism or this type of personality structure? If so, how does it compare to the psychological understanding of narcissism?
Answer
Chassidic teachings, particularly those of the Rebbe Rayatz, offer profound insights into the nature of self-absorption and its spiritual and emotional consequences—insights that closely parallel the modern psychological understanding of narcissism.
The Rebbe Rayatz’s Description
In his discourse on joy and humility, the Rebbe Rayatz describes a type of individual who is constantly preoccupied with their own virtues, intelligence, and the greatness of their family. This person:
- Frequently boasts about their own achievements and those of their children.
- Is convinced of their own superiority and feels entitled to special treatment.
- Highlights their good deeds, even when helping others, and expects recognition.
- Is rarely satisfied, always feeling they deserve more, and their joy is never complete.
- This self-focus leads not to happiness, but to a persistent state of dissatisfaction and even sadness (עצבות).
The Rebbe contrasts this with the truly humble person, who does not see themselves as especially deserving, is satisfied with what they have, and experiences genuine joy and contentment.
Parallels to Psychological Narcissism
Modern psychology defines narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with features such as:
- Grandiosity and an inflated sense of self-importance.
- Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or beauty.
- A need for excessive admiration.
- A sense of entitlement.
- Lack of empathy for others.
- Difficulty accepting criticism or recognizing their own faults.
The Rebbe’s depiction aligns with many of these traits. The individual he describes is self-absorbed, entitled, and unable to find true satisfaction—mirroring the emptiness and vulnerability often found in narcissistic individuals. The Rebbe also notes that such a person is often deluded about their own and their family’s virtues, unable to see their own faults, and always feels they deserve more, which leads to chronic dissatisfaction and even depression.
Unique Chassidic Insights
Where Chassidic thought adds depth is in its focus on the spiritual and emotional roots of narcissism:
- The Rebbe explains that self-absorption (הרגשת עצמו) is not only a barrier to joy but is actually a source of sadness. The more a person is focused on their own greatness, the less capable they are of experiencing true happiness.
- True humility, by contrast, is not self-negation but an honest recognition that one’s virtues are gifts, not entitlements. This humility is the foundation for genuine joy and emotional well-being.
- The Rebbe’s approach suggests that healing from narcissism involves cultivating humility, gratitude, and a realistic self-assessment—values that are central both to Chassidic practice and to some therapeutic approaches.
Practical Implications for Therapy
Chassidic teachings recognize the difficulty in treating such individuals—just as therapists do. The Rebbe’s analysis can offer therapists a spiritual language for understanding the roots of narcissism and for guiding clients (when appropriate) toward humility and gratitude as pathways to healing.
Source:
dsm-5-criteria-for-narcissistic-personality-disorder.pdf; Narcissistic personality disorder – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic
Sefer Hamamarim 5710 [Rebbe Rayatz] p. 237 “Vayisfu Anavim”: Not only is humility a vessel for joy, but moreover, humility actually generates joy. This is the exact opposite of self-absorption. Self-absorption is not only not a vessel for joy; in fact, someone who is absorbed in themselves cannot experience complete joy. Furthermore, self-absorption is a cause of sadness. As is known, the nature of the serpent is to be perpetually in a state of sadness. This sadness is not due to lacking anything, such as worries about sustenance; on the contrary, its sustenance is always ready and available, for the serpent’s food is dust, and dust is found everywhere. Rather, the sadness is innate to it. The reason is that the primordial serpent is defined by self-absorption, and therefore it is always sad. Self-absorption is the cause of sadness.
Although it might seem that self-absorption would make one feel their own goodness more strongly—one would think this should lead to greater joy—yet not only does it not bring joy, it actually causes sadness. The truth is that self-absorption makes one feel the goodness they possess more intensely, but this joy is not true joy; it actually brings and causes sadness for two reasons: First, someone who is self-absorbed is mistaken about their own essence. Just as they are mistaken about their own goodness, so too are they mistaken about their own essence. Someone who is self-absorbed is mistaken both about the goodness within themselves and about the goodness within their family members. Such a person thinks of themselves as wise, understanding, knowledgeable, and as someone who comprehends everything and takes pride in their conduct. They are meticulous and boast about their knowledge and the quality of their understanding, and take pride in their opinions.
Even if they do not know Torah, they involve themselves in various Torah matters on a superficial level; and if they do know Torah, there is no limit to their arrogance—they are always speaking in praise of themselves, demanding honor, recounting their greatness, and speaking about the quality of their family’s conduct and their great virtues, and the excellence of their affairs. Everything they possess, they consider good and outstanding. This is not because they are happy with their lot, but rather, due to their arrogance, they are mistaken about their own essence and the essence of their family.
In truth, this is a complete error, for they too have shortcomings, as do their children and affairs; likewise, others and their children and affairs have goodness. This stems from the fact that a person does not see their own faults, and regarding themselves, their children, and their affairs, they look with a favorable eye and magnify the good. For all transgressions—even the greatest shortcomings—love covers them, because they love themselves. They are mistaken about their virtues and their goodness, and are mistaken about their essence in general. Because of this error, they think they are deserving.
As we see in reality, there are many God-fearing people who conduct themselves with great piety, both in matters concerning themselves and in the education and guidance of their family, and sometimes they also influence others, and certainly they have a positive impact on their surroundings, making many good friends. Among them are those who are mistaken in thinking that because of their good deeds and conduct, they are worthy, and that the divine providence regarding their children and sustenance should be entirely different from how it is with others—they think that…
Therefore, supreme humility—not only is humility a vessel for joy, but moreover, humility actually generates joy. This is the exact opposite of self-absorption. Self-absorption is not only not a vessel for joy; in fact, someone who is absorbed in themselves cannot experience complete joy. Furthermore, self-absorption is a cause of sadness. As is known, the nature of the serpent is to be perpetually in a state of sadness. This sadness is not due to lacking anything, such as worries about sustenance; on the contrary, its sustenance is always ready and available, for the serpent’s food is dust, and dust is found everywhere. Rather, the sadness is innate to it. The reason is that the primordial serpent is defined by self-absorption, and therefore it is always sad. Self-absorption is the cause of sadness.
