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A gentile: Some Poskim^[1] rule that the prohibition of Onas Devarim does not apply against verbally oppressing a gentile. [The above does not mean that one is permitted or encouraged to verbally oppress a gentile, but that simply doing so is not included in the above unique prohibition.]

[1] Implication of Michaber C.M. 227:26 and 228:1 that just as the monetary laws of Onah do not apply towards a gentile, so too the prohibition of Onas Devarim; Implication of Chinuch Mitzvah 338 “Not to oppress a Jew with words”; Bach C.M. 228:6; Pirush of Rav Perlow on Rasag L.S. 82 in understanding of Rambam; Shevilei David 8

Miben Esrim:^[1]

The significance of age 20:

Our sages teach us that a child is not able to perform real estate sales with his father’s assets until he reaches the age of 20 years old. What is significant about the age of 20 that specifically at that age one becomes mature enough to perform real estate sales? The explanation is that at the age of 20 a child receives the encompassing level of the soul of his father. This refers to the level of will that surpasses intellect. In the words of Kabbala this is known as Mochin Deaba. This refers to accessing a great reservoir of wisdom and in-depth comprehension that one does not have access to prior to this age. Prior to age 20, one only contains Mochin Deima, and hence lacks intellectual maturity to understand things in greater breath and greater depth than the way they appear to the naked eye. This is why a child under age 20 may not sell his father’s assets, as he may make a rushed and spontaneous decision which although provides instant cash and gratification is possibly unproductive for his long-term investment goals. After reaching age 20, he attains the intellectual maturity to make more rational decisions based on an in-depth analysis of the long-term effects of his real estate sale. [Seemingly, it is also due to this reason that it is recorded[2] that children below the age of 20 have certain leniencies regarding punishment for transgression, as although they become responsible for Torah and Mitzvot once they reach the age of Bar Mitzvah, nonetheless, they still lack the full intellectual maturity in making rational decisions in serving G-d.]

• The divine lesson: One of the famous quotes of the American writer and humorist Mark Twain was “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” In shorter words, “until 20 years old my parents were total ignoramuses and in one day they learned so much.” Whether you are a parent or a teacher of adolescent children, it is not uncommon to hear the teen make factually incorrect statements which they believe are absolutely true and continue to argue with you when corrected. The distance between their actual knowledge and their oversized confidence is often astronomical, or as one person once put it, that if they jumped from their ego to their knowledge it could be suicidal. On one occasion, I witnessed a 13-year-old yeshiva student arguing with a seasoned Dayan five times his age who deals with Gittin over a certain halachic matter in the realm of divorce, and only after a half-hour of back-and-forth did the child finally agree to his mistake. On another occasion, an adolescent remained steadfast that the city of Berlin was the capital of Spain despite being told by the adults that were near him that it is not. He argued against them until he was actually shown it in three separate maps! All of this can prove very frustrating for teachers and parents, who feels slighted at the youngsters brushing away their knowledge, and at the impudence that they have in thinking they know better than adults. The above teaching of the Alter Rebbe can help the parent or teacher lessen the negative feelings that he may have towards the stubborn teenager who thinks he knows everything. Prior to age 20, a child does not have fully independent intellectual capabilities. Meaning, he can’t think out-of-the-box, or foresee into the depths of matters. If he thinks that he once heard that Berlin is the capital of Spain, then so it is. He is very assured of his conscious knowledge as he does not yet have access to the subconscious knowledge known as Mochin Deaba, which helps him understand that logic and intellect can go beyond what he personally understands to be true. The age of 20 gives one an intellectual maturity to be more open-minded to other people’s opinions, advice, and the long-term effect of a given decision. With age, the teenager will eventually grow out of it and lessen the grip on his view on the facts of life in the face of the opinion of others. Interestingly, the fact that adolescence and the teenage years ends at age 20 fits right into the above teaching of the Alter Rebbe who has now given us the inner reason behind it. Nonetheless, it is also true that parents should find a beneficial way in correcting the child and teaching him the concept of open-mindedness to the opinion others, and eventually this message will ring home after 20 years old.

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[1] Likkutei Torah p. 2a

[2] See Shabbos 89b; Yerushalmi Bikkurim 6b; Midrash Raba Bamidbar 18:4; Zohar Vayeira 118b, Hazinu 298:3; Rashi in Bereishis 23:1, and beginning of Ki Sisa; Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Sanhedrin 7:4; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 155; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 185:9; Chacham Tzevi 47 and 49; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 164; Chavos Yair 166 [end]; Rav Poalim 3 O.C. 37; Chida in Pesach Eiynayim Chagiga 15a; Maharitz Chayos on Shabbos ibid; Pardes Yosef beginning of Chayeh Sarah; Shearim Hametzuyanim Bhelacha

If an ill person tells you to take something that isn’t in the room:^[1] [Tzavah of Rav Yehuda Hachassid/Achronim]

If an ill person tells you to take something that isn’t in the room, then one should not tell him “Give it to me willingly,” as saying such a thing can cause him to die. Rather, he should tell the ill person that he can’t take it.

[1] Tzavah of Rav Yehuda Hachassid 14; Shivim Temarim; Makor Chesed 21; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 183