De’ot – Chapter 7: Lashon Hora, Revenge, and Social Integrity
Halachah 1 — The Prohibition of Gossip
Speaking gossip about another person violates a Torah prohibition.
Although there is no corporal punishment for this sin, it is extremely severe, as it can lead to the loss of life.
The Torah therefore places the warning against gossip next to the prohibition of standing idly by another’s blood, showing its grave consequences.
Halachah 2 — Gossip, Lashon Hora, and Defamation
A gossiper is one who goes from person to person repeating what others said or did, even if the information is true.
An even more serious sin is lashon hora — speaking negatively about another person, even truthfully.
Inventing lies is a separate and worse category called defamation.
Lashon hora includes relating embarrassing family history, behavior, or faults, and Scripture condemns such speech harshly.
Halachah 3 — The Severity of Lashon Hora
The Sages taught that lashon hora is as severe as idolatry, forbidden relationships, and murder combined.
One who speaks it is compared to someone who denies G-d.
Lashon hora causes harm to three people:
- the speaker,
- the listener,
- and the person spoken about.
The listener suffers the greatest damage.
Halachah 4 — “The Tinge of Lashon Hora”
Certain indirect or subtle forms of speech are also forbidden, including:
- hinting at wrongdoing without stating it,
- refusing to speak while implying something negative,
- praising someone in front of his enemies, thereby provoking slander.
Also included are:
- speaking negatively in jest or mockery,
- speaking deceptively, as if unaware of the harm being caused.
All such speech is condemned, even when not overt.
Halachah 5 — Public Speech and Repeating Harmful Information
There is no difference whether lashon hora is spoken in a person’s presence or behind his back.
Any statement that may cause physical harm, financial harm, fear, or distress is considered lashon hora.
If a harmful matter was stated in front of three people, it is assumed to be public knowledge.
Repeating it may be permitted only if the intention is not to spread or publicize it further.
Halachah 6 — Avoiding Those Who Speak Lashon Hora
It is forbidden to live near habitual speakers of lashon hora.
All the more so, it is forbidden to sit with them and listen to their speech.
The decree against the generation in the desert was sealed because of lashon hora.
Halachah 7 — The Prohibition of Revenge
Taking revenge violates a Torah prohibition and reflects a deeply flawed character.
Revenge means refusing to help someone later because he previously refused to help you.
Instead, a person must rise above personal grievances and act generously, recognizing that such matters are insignificant.
Halachah 8 — The Prohibition of Bearing a Grudge
Bearing a grudge is also prohibited.
This occurs when a person helps another but explicitly reminds him of a previous refusal.
The Torah requires a person to erase the offense from his heart completely, not even remembering it.
Holding onto resentment leads naturally to revenge, so the Torah forbids it entirely.
This trait enables peace, trust, commerce, and social stability.
