- Obligation of Eulogy and Burial
A eulogy is considered an honor for the deceased. Therefore, heirs are compelled to pay the wages of men and women who recite laments and eulogize the deceased. If the deceased instructed that no eulogy be given, we respect that wish. However, if the deceased instructed that he not be buried, we do not heed him, because burial is a mitzvah, as stated in Deuteronomy 21:22: “And you shall certainly bury him.”
- Reward and Punishment Related to Eulogies
Anyone who is negligent in arranging a eulogy for a sage will not live long. One who is negligent regarding the eulogy of an upright person is fit to be buried during his lifetime. Conversely, anyone who sheds tears for an upright person will have his reward safeguarded by God.
- Customs for a Sage’s Bier
We do not place a Torah scroll on the bier of a sage. We do not transfer him from one bier to another. His bier is taken out only through the doorway, not through gardens or side exits. For others, these restrictions do not apply.
- Rising and Sitting in Honor of the Deceased
In communities where it is customary, we rise and sit no fewer than seven times in honor of the deceased, with at least ten men present. This rite is observed only on the first day, in the cemetery, and only by relatives. The pattern alternates between standing and sitting while lamentations are recited.
- Customs for Women
The same rising and sitting rites apply for women, but we never leave a woman’s bier in a public thoroughfare, as this is considered disrespectful. Instead, she is buried immediately after death.
- Gathering Bones
When a person gathers the bones of a deceased, no mourning dirges, blessings, or words of comfort are recited. Instead, words of praise to God and exhortations to repentance are spoken.
- Moving a Coffin
If a coffin is moved and the backbone is intact, we stand in a line, recite the mourning blessing and words of comfort, and eulogize—even if the bones are moved after twelve months. If the backbone is not intact, none of these rites are performed.
- Mourning When Gathering Parents’ Bones
When a person gathers the bones of his father or mother, he mourns for the entire day. In the evening, mourning ceases even if the bones remain in his possession. No dirges are recited.
- Eulogizing Children
Children are not eulogized unless they reach a certain age: five years for children of the poor or elderly, six years for children of the wealthy. This applies to both boys and girls.
- Burial Customs for Infants
If a child dies within thirty days of birth, he is carried in one’s bosom and buried with one woman and two men present (to avoid prohibited seclusion). No line is formed, and no mourning blessings or words of comfort are recited.
If the child was thirty days old, he is carried in a small coffin, and we stand in a line and recite the mourning blessing and words of comfort. A child of twelve months is carried out on a bier.
- Public Mourning
Whenever a corpse is taken out on a bier, the public should grieve for him. If not taken out on a bier, public mourning is not required. If the deceased was well-known, the public should assist with burial; if not, they are not obligated. Women walk before or after the bier according to local custom.
- Servants and Maidservants
Servants and maidservants are not eulogized. We do not stand in a line, nor recite mourning blessings or words of comfort. Instead, we say to the master: “May the Omnipresent replenish your loss,” as we would say for the loss of property.
