Ask the Rav #11: Q&A’s on Weddings and More

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Q&A

For those who celebrate Purim on the 14th of Adar—which applies to all individuals outside of Jerusalem—it is permitted to marry on Shushan Purim, which is the 15th of Adar. Therefore, one may plan a Chupah and wedding for the evening following Purim, commonly referred to as Motzei Purim. However, residents of Jerusalem, who observe Purim on the 15th of Adar, should not marry on Shushan Purim, unless it is a time of great need. It is however permitted for one to have a wedding ceremony (chuppah) take place on Erev Purim, the 13th of Adar, provided it occurs before sunset. In such cases, the festive meal may be held later that evening, on Purim night.

 

Sources:

See regarding the dispute of whether one may get married on Purim: Michaber and Rama 696:8; M”A 696:18; Kaf Hachaim 696:52; Nitei Gavriel 76:9

See regarding the allowance of getting married on Shushan Purim: P”M 696 M”Z 4; Siddur Derech Hachaim; Aruch Hashulchan 696:12; Shut Riva 1:19; Nitei Gavriel 76:9

Question:

May one use Maaser money to help pay for matters that will bring joy to the chassan and kallah, such as hiring a band or arranging some humorous and lighthearted entertainment often done at weddings, known as Badchanus, or a wedding Shpiel?

 

Answer:

It is permitted to use funds for purposes that enhance the joy of the chassan and kallah. This includes paying for music, a band, or organizing tasteful and appropriate humorous acts that are customary at weddings to bring happiness to the couple. However, this allowance applies only when the expense is reasonable and not exorbitant. The amount should be measured in accordance with what is customary at normal weddings and how much is typically spent on these matters.

 

This leniency follows the ruling that permits using ma’aser money for the sake of a mitzvah. Rejoicing the chassan and kallah is considered a mitzvah, as explicitly stated by the Poskim who write that the playing of music by a wedding is regarded as part of this mitzvah to the extent that it is permitted to be performed by a non-Jew on Shabbos for this purpose.

 

Sources:

See Shvus Yaakov 2:85; Shevet Halevi 9:201 -3; 202; Igros Moshe Y.D. 112

See regarding Gentile playing music by Friday Night wedding: Admur 338:3; Michaber 338:2; Tur 338 in name of Ravaya; Mordechai Beitza 696; Hagahos Ashri Beitza 5:2

 

 

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.