✍️ From the Rav’s Desk: Giving a Child a Haircut During Sefirah

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Question

We have an upcoming wedding of a family member after Lag Baomer, and my child’s hair is in desperate need of a haircut to look representable at the wedding. We are Chabad and generally observe the mourning customs of Sefirah until ערב שבועות and hence avoid haircuts until then. Is it permitted though to give my child a haircut in this circumstance in honor of the wedding?

 

Answer

Yes. For the sake of a wedding, you may give the child a haircut. Nevertheless, under normal circumstances, the custom is to avoid cutting a child’s hair throughout the entire period of Sefirah, with the exception of an upsherin (first haircut) at the age of three.

Explanation

The Shulchan Aruch explicitly records the custom to refrain from haircuts during the mourning period of Sefirah. From the letter of the law, this restriction applies only during the specific mourning period one personally observes. Accordingly, many communities permit haircuts from Lag BaOmer onward, or beginning the following day.

However, according to Kabbalah—based on the teachings of the Arizal—the custom is to avoid haircuts throughout the entire Sefirah period. This is the Chabad custom as well, both due to the Arizal’s position and because of the broader practice to maintain all mourning customs until ערב שבועות.

Regarding children: With respect to the Three Weeks, many poskim rule that a child should not be given a haircut even before the age of chinuch. Accordingly, so long as one is within their personal mourning period, a child should likewise not receive a haircut during Sefirah. Furthermore, it is possible that the kabbalistic stringency against haircuts applies to children as well, and some are indeed stringent in this regard.

Nonetheless, in the case described, there is room to be lenient for several reasons:

  1. From the letter of the law, once the primary mourning period has passed (such as after Lag BaOmer, according to many customs), there is no longer an obligation to observe these restrictions. Haircuts would then be permitted even for adults, and certainly for children.
  2. Some poskim maintain that the Arizal’s kabbalistic custom of refraining from haircuts throughout all of Sefirah does not apply to children below bar mitzvah age.
  3. Even during Chol Hamoed and the Three Weeks—and certainly during Sefirah—many authorities permit cutting a child’s hair in a situation of genuine need. This case would fall into that category.
  4. If refraining from a haircut will cause the child to appear unkempt, lead to embarrassment, or negatively affect their dignity, this constitutes an additional basis for leniency. Just as halacha allows certain leniencies to avoid embarrassment when meeting important officials, the same principle may apply here. As Chazal teach, great is human dignity, for it can at times override even a Torah command.

Conclusion: In honor of the wedding, and given the child’s condition, it is permissible to give the child a haircut, even if one generally observes the Sefirah restrictions stringently.

Sources:

Piskeiy Teshuvos 493:7 and Nitei Gavriel 49:15 based on 531:6 and the commentaries there [M”B 531:6] regarding the allowance to cut a child’s hair during Chol Hamoed.

See regarding the general prohibition of haircutting during Sefira: Admur 493:1; Michaber 493:2

See regarding if this prohibition applies to a child: Michaber 551:14 regarding three weeks; M”A 551:38; Piskeiy Teshuvos 493:7 footnote 47; So is also proven from the fact that an Upshernish is not done during the period of Sefirah [See Igros Kodesh 9:4]

See regarding the custom of the Arizal to avoid haircuts throughout the entire period of Sefira: Custom of Arizal, brought in Peri Eitz Chaim 22:7; Shaar Hakavanos 86; Nehar Shalom 25; Igeres Ramaz 2; Birkeiy Yosef 493:6; Moreh Baetzba 8:221; Minchas Elazar 4:44; brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 493:8; Kaf Hachaim 493:13; See also 493:7 Hayom Yom p. 59; Sefer Haminhagim p. 86 [English]; However, no proof can be derived from here regarding the Chabad custom of the mourning period being that seemingly the reason behind this custom is due to the custom of the Arizal stated above.

See regarding if the custom of the Arizal to avoid haircuts throughout the entire period of Sefira applies also to children: Minchas Elazar 4:60 [No]; Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 2:222 [Yes]

See regarding cutting children’s hair on Chol Hamoed: Michaber 531:6; M”A 531:8; Taz 531:6; lya Raba 531:6; Levushei Serud 531; P”M 531 M”Z 3; M”B 531:16; Kaf Hachaim 531:25; Peulas Tzaddik 3:248; M”B 531:15

About The Author

Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein is a 6th generation descendent of the famous Chief Rabbi of Izhmir, Rav Yehoshua Avraham Krispin, who authored a number of Sefarim, and was a colleague of Rav Chaim Falagi, and father in-law of the Pesach Hadvir. He currently lives with his wife Shayna, and twelve children K”H, in Tzfas, Israel. Rabbi Goldstein received Semicha from Rabbi Schneur Zalman Labkowski of the Tomchei Temimim headquarters in 2005 and served as a chaplain in the Lotar/Kalatz and K9 unit of the IDF from years 2005-2008. He is also a certified Shochet, and has performed Hashgacha work in slaughterhouses. Rabbi Goldstein is the director of Shulchanaruchharav.com, the world’s leading web-based Halacha database, and is the director of the Home Study Semicha Program, a self-study web-based Semicha program. He is a prolific author of over 50 Sefarim studied by a wide range of readers throughout the world, which is used regularly in Semicha programs around the globe. He is a world renowned Posek, answering questions to a web-based market, and serves as a local Posek, Rav, and Lecturer, in the Tzemach Tzedek community Shul in Tzefas, Israel. His many classes can be heard both from his website, Vimeo and YouTube channel. Students can join live to classes given in the Tzemach Tzedek Shul, through the “בית חבד צפת Chabad Tsfat” YouTube channel.