Question:
Rabbi, is it permissible for me to watch on my computer the recording of my fourth-grade daughter’s school production, in which her classmates, including her, are singing?
Answer:
There is no issue of kol isha when listening to a girl who has not yet reached puberty sing. As one can assume that fourth graders have yet to reach this age, it is permitted from the letter of the law to watch and listen to the play together with your daughter. However, once a girl has reached the age of perhaps ten, and certainly eleven and twelve, then one may not hear her sing due to kol isha.
However, it should also be noted that all of the above discussion relates strictly to the letter of the law. Certainly, one who chooses to be stringent—even with regard to very young girls—and refrains from listening to a girl’s singing voice is engaging in an act of added holiness (chumrah), and such conduct is worthy of respect. Indeed, it is customary among many segments of Orthodox Jewry, particularly within more chareidi communities, for fathers to avoid attending singing performances of their daughters, even when the daughters are very young. Accordingly, while watching a school production under the circumstances described above is technically permitted, many choose, as an expression of personal piety, to refrain from doing so, and so is the proper custom to be followed. Nevertheless, there is certainly no basis for stringency to the extent of asking others to silence the video in one’s presence in order to avoid hearing their voices, if one is not watching the production at all and just happens to be present in the room.
Explanation
The two prohibitions: The prohibition of kol isha contains two separate categories to which it is relevant. The first is the intrinsic prohibition against hearing a woman sing due to the prohibition of arayot. This is similar to other prohibitions relating to a woman’s beauty, such as looking at uncovered parts of her body or deriving enjoyment from her appearance.
The second category is a prohibition against hearing a woman sing while one is engaged in tefillah or limud Torah.
Does the prohibition apply to a single non-Erva girl: With regard to the second category, all authorities agree that the singing voice of even a single woman is prohibited. Meaning, even if a woman is not considered an ervah [such as ones wife who is Tahor], her singing may not be heard while praying or learning Torah. However, with regard to the intrinsic prohibition, and therefore the question of whether it is forbidden to listen to a single woman who is not an ervah singing outside the context of prayer or Torah study—as is the case in the question above—the vast majority of poskim rule that the prohibition of kol isha applies only to an ervah.
Definition of Erva: An ervah is defined as a woman who is a forbidden relative, a married woman, or a woman who is a niddah. Single girls who have not yet started menstruating are not considered ervah, and therefore it is permitted to hear them sing. However, single girls who have already reached the age at which menstruation has begun are considered niddah, and therefore it is forbidden to listen to their singing voice. Likewise, single girls who are forbidden unto oneself due to Arayos, such as ones wife’s younger sister, are considered an Erva even from a very young age.
The practical age of Erva for Kol Isha: Based on above, the prohibition of Kol Isha applies to all girls beginning from the age at which they start menstruating. As a result, it is certainly forbidden to listen to the singing voice of girls above the age of bas mitzvah, since, based on this reality, all single girls at that age are presumed to be niddah. With respect to girls who are below the age of bas mitzvah and who have not yet reached the beginning of menstruation, there is some discussion among contemporary poskim regarding from what age their singing voice becomes prohibited. Some authorities maintain that the prohibition applies only from the age of eleven, and that below age eleven one may assume that the girl has not yet begun menstruation, and therefore it is permitted to listen to her singing. Others, however, write that one should be stringent from the age of ten, as this is an age at which menstruation can and does sometimes begin, and such an occurrence is not uncommon. Others go as far as to write that one is to be stringent from age three, while others say that one can go as old as 13-14. Medically and scientifically, the age at which a girl begins menstruation—her first period, or menarche—varies. On average, menarche occurs between ages 10 and 15, with the average around 12. Factors such as genetics, nutrition, and overall health can influence timing. Until that milestone is reached, the halachic category of ervah does not apply in this context. However, for a typical fourth-grade girl, it is generally accepted that she has not yet reached this stage, and thus kol isha would not be a concern. Once a girl reaches the age of menstruation—often around ages 10-11—then the restrictions of kol isha would apply.
Not to benefit from even non-Erva singing: However, one final point of clarification must be addressed with respect to the above leniency. The Mishnah Berurah, when recording the allowance that there is no prohibition of kol isha with regard to single girls who are not considered ervah, nevertheless writes that it is forbidden for one to listen to a woman’s voice for the sake of enjoyment, as this may lead to improper thoughts. Based on a simple reading of these words, it would seem that there is no allowance at all for a father to sit and listen to his daughter sing together with other girls her age at a school play, even if she is in fourth grade and clearly below the age of menstruation, as implied by the language of the Mishnah Berurah. However, in truth, one can rightfully argue—as does the Igrot Moshe—that the intent of the Mishnah Berurah was limited to girls who have already reached an age of maturity at which the concern for inappropriate thoughts is applicable, such as adolescent or high‑school‑aged girls. Accordingly, even if it happens that a girl above the age of bas mitzvah has not yet begun menstruating, it would nevertheless be forbidden to hear her singing voice due to the concern that this could lead to improper thoughts. With regard to young children, however—such as girls aged nine, eight, or seven—it is certainly abnormal for such thoughts to arise, and therefore there is no reason for the concern expressed by the Mishnah Berurah to apply. Furthermore, as the Igrot Moshe himself emphasizes, this ruling of the Mishnah Berurah is a novel and stringent position. He challenges it from the outset and ultimately concludes based on his clarification of the Mishneh Berurah that it does not apply at all to young girls.
Davening or learning when a child is singing: One further point may be clarified based on this interpretation of the Igrot Moshe. Even in the contexts of tefillah and limud Torah, where we generally apply the prohibition of kol isha even with respect to a woman who is not an ervah, this prohibition is rooted in the concern that hearing a woman sing may lead to improper thoughts. As such, it applies only in circumstances where such a concern is realistically applicable. Accordingly, this concern is relevant only with respect to girls who have reached an age of maturity, beginning around the age of menstruation. However, if a young child—for example, an eight‑year‑old girl—is singing, there is no reasonable basis to assume that hearing her voice would lead to forbidden thoughts. Consequently, there is no reason for the prohibition of kol isha to apply in such a case, even during prayer or Torah study. Practically speaking, however, while many poskim are inclined to conclude with leniency even with regard to tefillah and limud Torah, they nonetheless limit this leniency to very young ages. Some authorities restrict it to children up to the age of six or seven. Other contemporary poskim adopt an even more stringent approach and write that one should be stringent with respect to kol isha from as early as the age of three.
One final point is noted by Rav Moshe Feinstein, which further clarifies the practical application of the above discussion. He emphasizes that everything stated up to this point reflects the letter of the law. Nevertheless, in situations where there is no genuine need, one should certainly act stringently, as whoever is stringent Kadosh Yomar Lo. At the same time, Rav Moshe explicitly addresses parents who wish to attend their children’s singing performances and makes clear that such attendance is not prohibited according to halachah. His discussion is directed precisely to such cases, indicating that while stringency is admirable when undertaken voluntarily, there is no obligation to adopt it, nor should one view participation as problematic when the circumstances fall within the parameters outlined above.
Sources:
Igros Moshe O.C. 1:25 [until age 11, although one who is stringent is Kadosh]; Halichos Bas Yisrael p. 86 [until age 11]; Nitei Gavriel Yichud 54:5 [until age 10]; Chayeh Levi 6:165 [until age 3]; Ohel Yaakov 86 [ages 13-14, Lechatchila from age 12, some machmir from age 13, some machmir altogether]; Ben Ish Chaiy Bo 1:13 [until age six permits even regaridng Davening and learning, does not discuss the general Issur]
See regarding the general prohibition of Kol Isha: Admur 75:6; Michaber O.C. 75:3 and E.H. 21:1; M”A 75:6; Shmuel in Brachos 24a “The voice of a woman is an Erva”
See regarding that the prohibition of Kol Isha does not apply to a girl who is not an Erva: Beis Shmuel 21:4; Implication of M”A 75:6 in name of Lechem Chamudos Brachos 3:117; Perisha E.H. 21:4 in name of Rashal; P”M O.C. 75 M”Z end; M”B 75:17; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:25 Halichos Bas Yisrael p. 86 Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is forbidden to hear the singing voice of a single girl [who is not an Erva]. [Bear Sheva, brought in Beir Heiytiv 21:4; Elya Raba 75:1; Nesivos Leshabbos 21:4;]
See regarding that the prohibition of Kol Isha during Davening or learning Torah even if the girl is not an Erva: Admur ibid; M”A 75:6; Beis Shmuel E.H. 21:6 [regarding prayer]; Bear Sheva p. 119, brought in Beir Heiytiv E.H. 21:4 [regarding anytime]; P”M O.C. 75 M”Z end; Beis Oved 17; Chesed Lealafim 75:6; Ben Ish Chaiy Bo 13; M”B 75:17; Kaf Hachaim 75:21; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:25
See regarding that a girl who is a Nidda is defined as an Erva and that all Besulos today have a Chezkas Nida from the moment they reach the age of Veses: P”M 75 M”Z 2; Chasam Sofer C.M. 190; M”B 75:17
See regarding the age of assumed Nida today: Igros Moshe O.C. 1:25 [age 11]; Halichos Bas Yisrael p. 86 [11]; Nitei Gavriel ibid [10]
See regarding the Issur to benefit from the singing voice of even a non-Erva due to worry of Hirhur: P”M ibid; M”B 75:17; Igros Moshe O.C. 1:25 [Clarifies the M”B and rules even according to M”B does not apply to young girls]
See regarding that even during Davening or learning Torah there is no Issur of Kol Isha by a very young girl: Ben Ish Chaiy Bo 1:13 [under age six]; Ishei Yisrael 55 footnote 99; Piskeiy Teshuvos 75:11 that one may rely on Chazon Ish until age 6-7; Halichos Shlomo 20:20 is stringent from age three
