Staying with a Sick Father on Shabbos Parashas Zachor

Question

My father is currently hospitalized and has asked that I stay with him over Shabbos to keep him company and to ensure that he receives proper medical care and attention. He would feel very lonely without my presence, and my being there would greatly ease his situation.

However, this coming Shabbos is Parashas Zachor. If I remain with my father in the hospital, I will not be able to attend a minyan where Parashas Zachor is read. I am concerned about missing the reading, which many consider to be a Biblical obligation. What should I do? Which mitzvah takes precedence: bikur cholim and kibbud av, or hearing Parashas Zachor read with a minyan?

Answer

In my opinion, in this situation you may — and should — remain with your father over Shabbos and attend to his needs.

This is especially true since:

• The mitzvah involved is bikur cholim (visiting and caring for the sick),
• The sick person is your father, which also fulfills the mitzvah of kibbud av va’em,
• Your presence provides him with emotional support and helps ensure that his medical needs are properly addressed.

You should, however, make sure to attend a minyan on Purim itself in order to hear the reading of Amalek during the Purim Torah reading, and thereby fulfill your obligation in that manner.

Explanation

Although many authorities rule that the reading of Parashas Zachor on the Shabbos before Purim is a Biblical obligation, there are several important considerations that limit how absolute this obligation is in practice.

Not all authorities agree that the obligation to hear Parashas Zachor is specifically Biblical when read on that Shabbos. Some maintain that the Biblical obligation is fulfilled by hearing the remembrance of Amalek at another time, such as during the Purim Torah reading.

Based on this, the Magen Avraham famously rules that those who are accustomed to attend shul only on Purim, and not specifically on the Shabbos of Parashas Zachor, have whom to rely upon, since they fulfill the mitzvah through the Purim reading as well.

From this we see that, while it is certainly proper and ideal to hear Parashas Zachor read on that Shabbos with a minyan, it is not treated as an absolute, unavoidable Biblical obligation in all circumstances.

Additionally, we find that when a person is ill and unable to come to shul, there is discussion among the poskim whether one may bring a Sefer Torah to read for him. However, no authority suggests that because Parashas Zachor may be Biblical, the sick person must therefore be forced to attend shul unless it reaches the level of pikuach nefesh. This demonstrates that Chazal did not view the obligation as overriding significant human needs or other mitzvos.

Accordingly, we do not require a situation of pikuach nefesh in order to exempt someone from attending shul for Parashas Zachor. When doing so would cause hardship, disrupt care for the sick, or conflict with major mitzvos such as bikur cholim and kibbud av, one is exempt.

Based on all of the above, we may conclude that while one is certainly obligated to make every reasonable effort to hear Parashas Zachor with a minyan as states the  Michaber in his Shulchan Aruch, this obligation is not absolute in a way that overrides all other considerations. When there is a valid and unavoidable reason why a person cannot attend—such as illness, caring for a sick relative, fulfilling another significant mitzvah, or circumstances beyond one’s control—he is considered an ones (acting under duress) and may fulfill the mitzvah at another opportunity, such as through the Torah reading on Purim itself.

Accordingly, we do not require someone who is prevented from attending Parashas Zachor due to circumstances beyond his control to act unreasonably or irresponsibly in order to hear it. Thus, for example, we would not expect a soldier serving in the army, who is unable to be with a minyan due to military orders, to abandon his post or violate army commands in order to hear Parashas Zachor. All such cases are treated halachically as situations of ones or sha’as hadchak (duress), similar in nature to illness, where the Torah does not impose an inflexible requirement.

Sources:

See Vavei Hamudim 29 p. 99

See regarding the obligation to go to Shul for Zachar: Michaber 685:7; Terumas Hadeshen 108; Beis Yosef; Levush, brought in Kaf Hachaim 690:125

See regarding being Yotzei Zachar with the Purim Torah reading and the defense for those who don’t come for Zachar: M”A 685:1 and so rules Beir Heiytiv 685:2; P”M 685 M”Z 12; Shaareiy Efraim 8:85; Minchas Elazar 2:1; Kaf Hachaim 685:28; Dissenting opinion: Aruch Hashulchan 685:5; Hisorerus Teshuvah 1:5; M”B 685:8; Mahril Diskin 2 Kuntrus Acharon 5:111; See Olas Shmuel 209 brought in Kaf Hachaim 685:34