3. Sleeping:[1]

Kefiyas Hamita: An Avel is obligated to turn over his bed [i.e. Kefiyas Hamita].[2] He is to sleep on this upside down bed.[3] Today, however, it is no longer customary to turn over the bed, and the beds hence remain in their normal position.[4] Nevertheless, it is disputed as to whether an Avel may sleep in such a bed during Shiva, as explained next:

Sleeping in a bed: Some Poskim[5] rule it is forbidden for an Avel to sleep on a bed during Shiva, and rather he is required to sleep on the ground. Other Poskim[6] however rule it is permitted to sleep on a bed during Shiva.[7] Practically, the custom today is to be lenient to allow sleeping on a regular bed during Shiva.[8]

Summary:One may sleep on a regular bed during Shiva.

Q&A May one sleep regularly with his pillows and blankets?[9] It is proper to turn over the pillow and blanket as recognition of the mourning. Practically, this only applies if they have two sides, one being with designs and the other being its bottom, in which case the design is to be turned upside down.[10]  Some have the custom to remove a pillow (if he sleeps with two), or in some other way reduce one’s accustomed comfort as a reminder that he is in mourning. [On Shabbos, however, one is to sleep regularly.[11]] May one sleep on the bed of the Niftar, [the bed that the deceased would sleep on]?[12] The custom is not to sleep on the bed of the Niftar throughout Shiva.[13] [Nevertheless, in a time of need, such as other beds are not available, one may be lenient in this manner.] Is the bed of the Niftar to be set up throughout Shiva? The bed of the Niftar is to remain set up throughout the Shiva.[14] Nevertheless, one is not to set it with blankets and pillows in order to bring recognition to the person who passed away.[15] Sleeping during the day: Some[16] are careful not to sleep during the day during Shiva.[17] One may certainly be lenient in a time of need, if one is weak or sick.[18] May one travel to a different home to sleep? If one cannot sleep in the Shiva home (i.e. there are not enough beds), he may go to another place to sleep, as explained in Halacha 17!

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[1] Shulchan Aruch 387; Nitei Gavriel 1:108 [p. 564]; Pnei Baruch 17:2

[2] Michaber 387:1; Moed Katan 15a

The reason: An upside-down bed places the mattress directly on the floor and makes the person feel the hardness of the ground while sleeping. This is all done as a sign of mourning and so on.

The first day of Shiva: Some Poskim rule that an Avel is obligated to sit on a turned over bed on the first day. [Rambam 4:9] Other Poskim, however, rule that it is not necessary to do so, and he may sit on the ground even on the first day, so longa s as he turns over hbis bed. [Raavad on Rambam ibid] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Aveilus p. 62

[3] Michaber 387:1

[4] Michaber 387:2

The reason: As the gentiles may suspect that one is doing sorcery by turning over the beds [and come to kill the Jew]. Alternatively, the reason is because the beds of today are made differently than the beds of the past, and there is hence no recognizable “Kefiya” that occurs by turning it over. [Michaber ibid] Seemingly, the explanation is as follows: The beds of the old times were mats that sat on legs and had no back or front. The mat hence hovered in the air and provide softness for the person sleeping. When one turned over the bed the mat now rested on the ground and hence one would feel the hardness of the ground. The modern beds however have a front and back panel that cause the mattress to hover over the ground when it is turned over.

[5] Shach 387:1 in name of Perisha; Taz 387:1 in name of Rashal; Sheilas Yaavetz 1:91; Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger 387 writes that it is nevertheless permitted to place sheets and blankets on the floor upon sleeping on it.

[6] Panim Meiros 2:119, brought in Birkeiy Yosef 387:1; Pischeiy Teshuvah 387:1; Gilyon Maharsha ibid; Ikarei Hadaat 36:26; Poskim in Pnei Baruch ibid footnote 17 and Nitei Gavriel 108 footnote 12

[7] The reason: As in these generations we are all considered ill and weak regarding this matter. [Poskim ibid]

[8] Beir Heiytiv 387:1; Panim Meiros ibid; Pnei Baruch ibid; Nitei Gavriel 108:8

[9] Rav Akiva Eiger 387, in name of Beis Yosef, in name of Rabbeinu Yerucham; Rivash; Darkei Moshe 387:3; Aruch Hashulchan 387:3; See Nitei Gavriel 108:11

[10] Daas Torah 387 in name of Rivash; Pnei Baruch 17 footnote 8

[11] Nitei Gavriel 108:12

[12] Totzos Chaim p. 132; Kesubos 103a; Nitei Gavriel 92:7

[13] The reason: Seemingly this is done out of respect for the Niftar and to emphasize his presence in the home.

[14] Totzos Chaim p. 132 based on Kesubos 103a; Nitei Gavriel 92:7

The reason: Seemingly this is done out of respect for the Niftar and to emphasize his presence in the home.

[15] Mishmeres Shalom Chaf:18; Pnei Baruch 17 footnote 9

[16] Ruach Chaim 387

[17] The reason: As the entire purpose of turning over the bed is so one diminish in sleep and remember his state of mourning. [ibid]

[18] Nitei Gavriel 108:13