From the Ravs Desk: Shaalos Veteshuvos on Yom Kippur

Should married women who are impure [menstruating] immerse?

It is permitted [and accustomed] for married women to immerse in a Mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur even if they are impure, and within Shiva Nekiyim.[1] Some[2] however write that a woman who is within her 7 clean days is not to immerse.[3]

[1] Rav Poalim 4:16; Levushei Mordechai 1:123; Sugah Beshoshanim 28:4; Minchas Yitzchak 6:146; Nitei Gavriel 18:10

[2] Shiureiy Shevet Halevi and Koveitz Mibeis Levi 4:20; Rav Asher Lemel Cohen

[3] The reason: As this can lead to them having relations prior to the proper time.

May a woman who is after Shiva Nekiyim, but has still not immersed in a Mikveh, immerse on Erev Yom Kippur?

Some Poskim[1] rule she may immerse and have in mind to not be Yotzei the Mitzvah of immersing for her husband. This will allow her to immerse later on for her husband with a blessing. Others[2] suggest that she is to immerse on Erev Yom Kippur with a Chatzitza on her body.

[1] Minchas Yitzchak 6:146

[2] See Nitei Gavriel 18:11 footnote 22

Yes.

May a couple have marital intimacy after the wife has gone to Mikveh for the above purpose, such as if she went the night of Erev Yom Kippur?[1]

They should not [unless it is the night of Mikveh, in which case she should immerse again the next day if she cant get pregnant], as this defeats one of the purposes of the Tevila which is to purify oneself from Keri before Yom Kippur.

[1] See Admur 606:11

Erev Yom Kippur that falls on Friday:[1] Some[2] communities have the custom to say Avinu Malkeinu by Shacharis of Erev Yom Kippur in years that Yom Kippur falls out on Shabbos, in which case Avinu Malkeinu is not recited on Yom Kippur.[3] [Practically, the Chabad custom is to omit Avinu Malkeinu even when Erev Yom Kippur falls on Friday.[4]]

[1] Admur ibid; Rama ibid; Darkei Moshe ibid; Mateh Moshe ibid; Levush 604:2

[2] Custom of Krakow, recorded in Rama ibid and Darkei Moshe ibid; Mateh Moshe ibid; Mateh Efraim 604:13 rules like this opinion; Minhag Karlin Stolin, brought in Koveitz Beis Yisrael Veaaron

[3] See Admur 619:11 where it is explained that according to Ashkenazi custom, Avinu Malkeinu is not recited on Yom Kippur that falls on Shabbos

[4] Shevach Hamoadim 22:1 from Sefer Haminhagim [I have not found the source for this is Sefer Haminhagim]; Hiskashrus based on Luach Kolel Chabad. Otzer Minhagei Chabad 29 [To note that in Otzer Minhagei Chabad there is a typing error saying that the Chabad custom is to say Avinu Malkeinu when in truth their intent was to write that our custom is not to say it, as evident from the sources there.]

Question:

I have heard that we do nothing the tune of Avinu Malkeinu on Shabbos including even when Rosh Hashanah falls on Shabbos. Is this accurate?

Answer:              

While there is no Halachic prohibition against doing so, the Rebbe was accustomed not to sing it on Shabbos even when Rosh Hashanah fell on Shabbos, and he likewise motioned for the Chassidim not to sing it.

Explanation: The Chabad custom is to sing the Niggun of Avinu Malkeinu prior to the start of Maariv, as well as prior to all the other prayers on Rosh Hashanah.  This custom was initiated by the Rebbe. Now, Ashkenazi communities do not recite the prayer of Avinu Malkeinu on Shabbos. This is due to one of two reasons: 1) As it is forbidden to request one’s needs on Shabbos. 2) The entire reason that we recite Avinu Malkeinu is in correspondence to the middle blessings of Shemoneh Esrei that are omitted on Rosh Hashanah during the week. Seemingly, the same way we do not wish to say the prayer and Shabbos so too we should not sing the prayer on Shabbos, in which the same words are being mentioned.

Sources: See regarding the Rebbe not singing it on Shabbos: Orchos Menachem p. 68-69; See regarding the general custom to sing the tune of Avinu Malkeinu prior to the start of the prayers on Rosh Hashanah:  Hisvadyos 1984 1 p. 26-27 “The reason for the custom to sing the Niggun of Ainu Malkeinu of the Alter Rebbe prior to each prayer on Rosh Hashanah is in order to mention the merit of our forefathers, the merit of the Alter Rebbe”; Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 58; Regarding Maariv: The Rebbe ibid stated in 1984 “Now that we are coming closer to the redemption, in which the Avoda of action is emphasized, there is no place for singing Avinu Malkeinu prior to this prayer being that Avinu Malkeinu is not recited during this prayer. For this reason Avinu Malkeinu was not sung before Maariv.” Nevertheless, there was not one year similar to the next after this Sicha, in some years it was sung before Maariv and in others it was not. In 1992 it was only sung before Maariv on the second day of Rosh Hashanah. [Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 58] See regarding omitting Avinu Malkeinu on Shabbos: Admur 584:5; 602:2; Rama 584:1; 602:1; Rivash 512; Kneses Hagedola 584:2; Peri Chadash; Kisei Eliyahu 584:3; Other opinions: Many Poskim rule that Avinu Malkeinu is to be recited even on Shabbos. [Rashbatz 3:186 brought in Beis Yosef; Hatanya; Mateh Yehuda 584; implication of Arizal in Shaar Hakavanos; see Kaf Hachaim 584:8] Based on the Arizal ibid it appears that one is to recite all the stanzas of Avinu Malkeinu, with exception to the one’s that mention sin, even on Shabbos Shuva, and so is the custom of the Beis Keil community in Jerusalem. [Kaf Hachaim 582:16] The Kaf Hachaim 584:8 concludes: It seems that the Ashkenazi custom is to omit it while the Sephardic custom is to say it and for this reason the Michaber omitted this ruling from his Shulchan Aruch. Each community is to follow their custom.

Your perogative. See below for the two opinions.

Both parents deceased:[1] One is to light a Yizkar candle for his deceased father and mother. [This implies that one is to light a single candle on behalf of both parents.[2] Some Poskim[3], however, rule that if both one’s father and mother are deceased, one is to light two candles in their memory.]

[1] See Admur 610:5; Rama 610:4

[2] Elya Raba 610:4

[3] Elya Raba 610:4; Bigdei Yesha; Kaf Hachaim 610:28; Nitei Gavriel 75:12

The main custom that is recorded is to light cancdles for a deceased parent , not other relatives. However, you may choose to do so if you wish. You may also include them all in one candle.

See Admur 610:5; Rama 610:4; Elya Raba 610:4; Nitei Gavriel 56:5

May women wear jewelry and ornaments on Yom Kippur?^[1]

On Yom Kippur, women are not to wear jewelry or ornaments that are normally worn on Shabbos or Yom Tov, in order so they show fear for the Day of Judgment. However, they may wear jewelry that is normally worn on a weekday.^[2] However, some write that the custom is not to wear any jewelry at all on Yom Kippur especially if made of gold.[3]

[1] M”B 610:16

[2] See Betzeil Hachochmah 6:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 610:5;

[3] Nitei Gavriel 26:20 footnote 33

May gold jewelry, a gold watch, gold glass frames, be worn on Yom Kippur?^[1]

Yes^[2] [if it is normally worn on a weekday, although some are accustomed to not wear any jewelry at all on Yom Kippur, as stated above. Some are especially careful not to wear any gold jewelry.[3]]

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[1] Betzeil Hachochmah 6:3; Kinyan Torah 6:36

[2] As the above matter is only with regards to gold threaded clothing, as the white clothing remind Hashem of atonement. However, regarding jewelry there is no reason to refrain.

[3] Nitei Gavriel 26:20 footnote 33; Minhagei Wormz p. 175; Makor Chaim 610

May clothing with gold threads be worn on Yom Kippur?^[1]

One is not to wear clothing that contain gold threads on Yom Kippur.^[2] This applies for both men and women.^[3]

[1] Gloss of Rav Akiva Eiger 610; Mateh Efraim 610:11 and in Alef Lamateh 610:7; Teivas Guma Acharie [of Peri Megadim]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 610:5

[2] The reason: As the clothing are worn as a sign of Kapara and the gold reminds Hashem of the golden calf. [Rav Akiva Eiger ibid]

[3] Alef Lamateh ibid; Peri Megadim ibid unlike Rav Akiva Eiger ibid