Daily Tanya 13th Adar 1: Middle of Chapter Chapter 29-Contemplating the sins of his youth

(LY) 13^th  Adar 1

3.      Contemplating the sins of his youth:

• One is especially able to bring himself towards a broken heart through remembering all of the impurities that he caused to his soul due to the sins that he committed in his youth, and the great blemish that he made in the upper worlds.
• The blemish exists even today: The upper worlds are above the concept of time and hence it is found that a blemish that took place in the past is considered as if it has actually taken place today, heaven forbid.
• One can always repent more within his heart: Now, even if one has already fully repented for his previous sins, he should still contemplate the sins of his youth, being that the main aspect of repentance is in the heart and the heart contains many different levels and heights. Furthermore, the level of repentance demanded from an individual is all in accordance to his current state, time and place, as is known to those who know [and hence a level of repentance that was acceptable for this individual in the past may no longer be acceptable for this individual in the current time after he has developed and raised his level of righteousness].
• A sign from heaven that one must repent again on a deeper level: Accordingly, now that one sees that his heart is emotionless and he is unable to ignite within him the light of his G-dly soul, this is a sign that his repentance of the past has no longer been accepted today, and hence his previous sins remain a separation between him and G-d. Alternatively [this may not be a sign that his repentance is no longer acceptable but rather], this is a sign from heaven that they desire from him a higher level of repentance from a greater death of the heart. It is due to this that King David stated, “my sins are always in front of me.”