The reason behind the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av Vaeim:[1]
Hakaras Hatov:[2] The root of this command is due to that it is befitting of a person to recognize and act with kindness towards one who has been kind to him. One should not be ungrateful and ignore [one who has done for them so much good] as this is a most evil and repugnant trait before G-d and people. One is to recognize the fact that his father and mother are the ones who are responsible for bringing him into the world and accordingly it is fit that he gives them all the honor and assistance that they are capable of. One must also recognize that his parents put much effort into him when he was young [in order to educate him and support him] and they nursed him and fed him and dressed him.[3]
Leads to honor of G-d:[4] When a person has this form of recognition and gratefulness to his parents, it will lead for him to also develop this recognition and gratefulness towards G-d who is the cause of the existence of his parents, up until the first man and is the one responsible for bringing him into the world and giving him all his needs, and health and sanity, of which without it he would be like a horse and mule who have no knowledge. A person will then conclude from this how much he must be careful in the service of G-d. [Furthermore, according to those opinions[5] who hold that the mitzvah to honor one’s parents is a mitzvah between man and G-d, then the intrinsic purpose of it is to honor G-d, as G-d feels honored when we honor those who together with Him were responsible for our creation.[6] The reason for this is because the infinite light of G-d is unified with the body of a Jew to give him the ability to procreate, and hence when one honors his parents it is as if he is honoring G-d himself.[7]]
Leads to belief in G-d’s commands:[8] G-d commanded us to honor and listen to our parents in order, so we be receptive to the tradition that our parents’ hand over to us regarding the Torah and its commands.
| The three partners in one’s creation:[9]
There are three partners involved in the creation of a person: G-d, the mother and the father. G-d blows the soul into the body thereby giving it the ability to hear, see etc. The mother donates the red parts of the body while the father donates the white parts, such as the bones and brain. For this reason, it is proper to honor all three partners, each for their part in one’s creation. [Nevertheless, G-d is considered the main partner as the ability for the father and mother to procreate is given to them by G-d and comes from an infinite light of G-d that shines below into them. Hence, it is not only the soul of the child but even the body of the child which in essence all comes from G-d, and it is just that it occurs through the parents.[10]]
Why does honoring one’s parents not constitute the prohibition of Shituf, which is giving credence to anyone else other than G-d?[11] It is a known pillar of our faith that it is forbidden to pay honor or respect to the constellations and stars for their involvement in the blessings which we receive. One who does so is liable for idolatry. The following question hence extends towards honoring one’s parents; how does this not constitute idolatry which consists of paying respect for anyone other than G-d. Possibly one can answer that it is only because the constellations and stars do not have free choice that one is therefore forbidden in paying them respect. One’s parents, however, had free choice in bringing one into the world, and hence played a deciding role in one’s creation. Therefore, they deserve to be honored. On a deeper level it can be explained that every Jew contains a portion of G-d above and that the infinite light of G-d unites with the Jews body to help him procreate, and thus honoring Jewish parents which contain a part of G-d in them does not contradict at all G-d’s unity as it is considered that one is honoring G-d himself .[12] Based on this we can understand more deeply the approach which holds that the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents is a Mitzvah between man and G-d, as through fulfilling it one is actually honoring G-d. This is in contrast to Gentiles which are not united with the light of G-d and hence are only commanded to honor their parents for the sake of gratitude and not as an intrinsic command. |
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[1] See Likkutei Sichos 36:90
[2] Chinuch Mitzvah 33 “The root of this command is due to that it is befitting of a person to recognize and act with kindness towards one who has been kind to him. One should not be ungrateful and ignore as this is a most evil and repugnant trait before G-d and people. One is to recognize the fact that his father and mother are the ones who are responsible for bringing him into the world and accordingly it is fit that he gives them all the honor and assistance that they are capable of. One must also recognize that his parents put much effort into him when he was young. When a person has this form of recognition and gratefulness to his parents, it will lead for him to also develop this recognition and gratefulness towards G-d who is the cause of the existence of his parents, up until the first man and is the one responsible for bringing him into the world and giving him all his needs, and health and sanity, of which without it he would be like a horse and mule who have no knowledge. A person will then conclude from this how much he must be careful in the service of G-d.”; Yerushalmi Peiah 1:1 and Kiddushin 1:7; Chareidim 9:37; Keli Yakar Yisro 20:12; Even Ezra 20:1
[3] Chinuch ibid; Even Ezra ibid; See Likkutei Sichos ibid p. 91 as to why Ramban 20:12-13 omits this point.
[4] Chinuch ibid; Likkutei Sichos ibid; See also Tosafus Hadar Zekeinim on Yisro 20:12
[5] Ramban Yisro 20:13; See Halacha 1A in Q&A!
[6] Likkutei Sichos 36:91
[7] Likkutei Sichos 36:94-95
[8] Abarbanel Yisro 20:12
[9] Kiddushin 30b; Nida 31a; See Ramban 20:12-13; Likkutei Sichos ibid p. 91-92
[10] Likkutei Sichos ibid p. 92 [see there that it is for this reason that the Ramban still held that honoring one’s parents is a command between man and G-d.]
[11] Or Torah Yisro 8:3003; Sefer Hamarim 5658 p. 118; Likkutei Sichos 36 p. 92-93; See also Or Torah of Maggid Yisro 34a; Likkutei Imrim 123
[12] This answers why this honoring of parents, which is honoring something else other than G-d, is not considered heresy in G-d’s unity.
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