The Mitzvah to fear one’s parents:[1]

Fearing one’s father and mother is a positive command in the Torah.[2] The command of fearing one’s parents is listed by the Rambam as the 211th Command of the Torah. The intent of the command to fear one’s parents is that one should act towards them as you would act with someone who fears getting punished by such as a king. He should walk with them as he would walk together with one whom he fears that can give him retribution.[3] [Likewise, included in this mitzvah is to establish in one’s heart a fear of one’s parents.[4]]

Equal obligations towards father and mother:[5] The Torah preceded the mother to the father regarding the command to fear in order to teach us that they’re both to be equally feared. Hence, one must fear his mother just as one must fear his father and they are equal in all matters regarding this mitzvah.

Is weighed by Scripture equal to the Mitzvah to fear G-d:[6] The sages teach us that this command to honor and fear one’s parents is weighed by Scripture equal to the Mitzvah to honor and fear G-d. This is learned from the following similar words used in the verses. Regarding fear, the verse states, “a man shall fear his father and mother” and in another verse it states that “and Hashem your G-d you shall fear him and Him you shall serve.” Hence, we see that Scripture has equated the fear of one’s father and mother to the fear of G-d. The reason for this is because there are three partners in the creation of man.

The punishment for transgressing-Is cursed by G-d:[7] Whoever shames his father and mother is considered cursed by the mouth of G-d [i.e., Gevura], as the verse[8] states “cursed should be one who shames [i.e., Makleh] his father and mother.” This applies even if one only shamed them with words. [Some Poskim[9] rule that even a person who transgresses those matters included within fearing the parents, such as sitting in their set place or contradicting their words, is included within the scriptural curse. However, from other sources[10] it is clear that the scriptural curse is reserved for only for those who actually shame their parents and not simply transgress fulfilling the mitzvah of honor and fear. The punishment for shaming a parent is explicitly written in Scripture[11] “his eyes will be gouged by ravens of the river and his flesh will be eaten by the children of the Eagles,” and as has been testified to have occurred in the past to a child who shamed his parents.[12]]

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[1] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Morah Av Vaeim Vol. 42 pp. 559-562

[2] Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah 211; Chinuch Mitzvah 212; Yireim Hashaleim 221; Semak Mitzvah 7; See Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372 footnote 16 for opinions who write that fearing one’s parent is similar to a Lo Sasei [i.e., an Issur Asei]; See Erech Morah Av Vaeim Vol. 42 p. 559-560 in length for the different approaches

[3] Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah 211; Chinuch Mitzvah 212

[4] Chareidim Asei 1:27; Semak Hakdama and Mitzvah 7; Aruch Hashulchan 240:8; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 559 and footnote 6 and p. 577-558 footnotes 167-174

[5] Rambam Mamarim 6:2; Kiddushin 31a “It is revealed and known before whom that said and created the world that a son fears his father more than his mother being that his father teaches him Torah. Therefore, G-d preceded the fearing of the mother to the fearing of the father.”; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 15-22

[6] Rambam Mamarim 6:1; Kiddushin 30b; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 9-14

[7] Michaber 241:6; Tur 241; Rambam Mamrim 5:15; Pesakim Uteshuvos 241:6; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372

[8] Devarim 27:16

[9] Shaareiy Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 3:21; Chareidim 9:35

[10] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372 footnote 30

[11] Mishlei 30:17

[12] Sefer Chareidim Asei 1:35