The Mitzvah of honoring one’s parents:[1]  

Honoring one’s father and mother is a positive command in the Torah[2], and is listed as the fifth of the 10 Commandments. [The command of honoring one’s parents is listed by the Rambam as the 210th Command of the Torah.[3]]

Not in front of parents:[4] One is obligated in the honor of his parents even when not in their presence.

Equal obligations towards father and mother:[5] The Torah preceded the father to the mother regarding the command of respect to teach us that they’re both to be equally respected. Hence, one must honor his father just as one must honor his mother and one must honor his mother just as one must honor his father and they are equal in all matters regarding this mitzvah and there is no difference between them in any matter of obligatory actions of honor.[6]

Is weighed by Scripture equal to the Mitzvah to honor G-d:[7] The sages teach us that this command to fear one’s parents is weighed by Scripture equal to the Mitzvah to fear G-d. This is learned from the following similar words used in the verses. In the verse regarding honoring one’s parents it states, “honor your father and mother” and in another verse it states, “honor G-d with your money.” We hence see that Scripture has equated the honor of one’s father and mother to the honor of G-d. The reason for this is because there are three partners in the creation of man.

The basic difference between the command of honor versus fear:[8] The basic difference between the command to honor one’s parents versus the command to fear one’s parents is that the command to honor one’s parents involves the performance of certain activities out of respect for one’s parents [i.e. Kum Vasei], while the command to fear one’s parents involves the abstaining from performing certain activities being that they are considered disrespectful to one’s parents [i.e. Sheiv Veal Taaseh]. Some Poskim[9] write that the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents is fulfilled through action while the mitzvah of fearing one’s parents is mainly in the heart.

Is one who transgresses considered cursed by G-d?[10] Whoever shames his father and mother is considered cursed by the mouth of G-d [i.e., Gevura], as the verse[11] states “cursed should be one who shames [i.e., Makleh] his father and mother.” [Some Poskim[12] rule that even one who simply diminishes in the respect due to them is included within the scriptural curse. However, from other sources[13] it is clear that the scriptural curse is reserved for only for those who actually shame their parents and not simply transgress fulfilling the mitzvah of honor and fear.]

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[1] Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:1-2; 15

[2] Rama ibid “Mitzvas Asei”; Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah 210-211; Chinuch Mitzvah 33; 212

[3] Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah 210; Chinuch lists it as the 33^rd command of the Torah

[4] Rambam Mamarim 6:4 “A person is obligated to honor his parents during his business dealings and the like, as a rule you should always show that he suspects for his parents honor and that he fears them.”; Tur 240; Atzmos Yosef Kiddushin 32a based on Michaber 240:6; Kiddushin 31b; Chofetz Chaim Pesicha Asei 10 in Beir Mayim Chaim; Chut Shani 240:10; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:24

[5] See Michaber Y.D. 240:14; Rama 240:9; Tur 240; Rambam Mamrim 6:2; Kiddushin 31a “Rebbe teaches us that it is revealed and known before whom that said and created the world that a son honors his mother more than his father being that his mother sweet talks him. Therefore, G-d preceded the honoring of the father to the honor of the mother.”; Mishneh Kerisus 28a; Mechilta Shemos 20:12; Maharil 24; Chayeh Adam 67:16; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 417 footnotes 608-615

[6] Maharil ibid

[7] Rambam Mamarim 6:1; Kiddushin 30b

[8] See Korban Aaron on Toras Kohanim Kedoshim 1; Michtam Ledavid Y.D. 32; Tosafos Reim on Yireim 222; Malbim on Toras Kohanim ibid; Aruch Hashulchan 240:8; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372 footnote 14 and 17-20

[9] Semak Hakdama 7; 50 Kala Rabasi 3

[10] Michaber 241:6; Tur 241; Rambam Mamrim 5:15; Pesakim Uteshuvos 241:6; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372

[11] Devarim 27:16

[12] Chareidim 9:35

[13] See Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibbud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 372 footnote 30