Sitting next to one’s parent by the table:[1]

Some Poskim[2] rule that a son may not sit next to his father without a person in between. Nonetheless, practically we rule that one may be lenient in this and so is the custom, especially when in private, as the parents forgive their honor in this matter.[3] [Certainly, one may sit next to his father Shul, or by the wedding celebration, and any other occasion of the like.[4]]

Sitting in an honorable manner:[5] One is required to sit next to his parent in an honorable manner [and hence should not lean while sitting in front of him, unless one knows that his father does not mind[6]].

Leaning by the Seder table:[7] A son who is eating by his father’s Seder table must nevertheless lean. This applies even if his father is his main Rebbe.[8] This applies even if one did not receive from his father explicit permission to lean.[9] [If, however, the father explicitly states that he does not forgive his honor to allow his son to lean, then some Poskim[10] rule he may not lean. A son may lean even if he is sitting adjacent to his father.[11]]

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[1] See Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:5; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Morah Av Vaeim Vol. 42 p. 582-583

[2] Beis Yosef 240 in name of Orchos Chaim based on Shmuel 1:20; Shiyurei Kneses Hagedola 240:2; Hagahos Maharikash 240; Binyan Olam Y.D. 47; Daas Torah 240 based on Eiruvin 54b proves that this only applies by the right side of the father

[3] Taz 244:9; Beis Lechem Yehuda 240; Yifei Laleiv 3 240:5; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim 2:20 [only applies in front of others]; Aruch Hashulchan 240:10; Yad Shaul 240

[4] Binyan Olam ibid; Ben Ish Chaiy Shoftim ibid; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 218-219

[5] Pela Yoetz Erech Bizayon; So is clearly understood from the Halacha brought next, that it is only by the Seder table when there is an obligation to lean that we assume that the father does not mind.

[6] So is clearly understood from the Halacha brought next, that it is only by the Seder table when there is an obligation to lean that we assume that the father does not mind.

[7] Admur 472:11; Michaber 472:5; Pesachim 108a; Tosafus Pesachim ibid; Kol Bo 50; Abudarham Seder Haggadah; Sheilasos of Rav Achai Parshas Tzav; See Peri Chadash 472:5; Kaf Hachaim 472:32

[8] The reason: As one can assume that a father forgives his honor for the sake of his son. [Admur ibid; M”A 472:6; Levush 472:5; Chok Yaakov 472:9; Abudarham ibid; Kol Bo ibid; Peri Chadash ibid; Derech Hachaim 6; M”B 472:14]

[9] Admur and all Poskim in previous footnote that we assume he is Mochel

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that one is to be stringent to only lean if his father gives him explicit permission to do so [even if he is not his main Rebbe]. [Bach 472, brought in Beir Heiytiv 472:5, Chok Yaakov 472:9; Maharal of Prague in Gevuros Hashem 48; Elya Raba 472:8; Chok Yosef 472:5; Pnei Meivin 93; Korban Nesanel on Rosh Arvei Pesachim 20; P”M 472 M”Z 4; Kaf Hachaim 472:32; Piskeiy Teshuvos 472:4 regarding main Rebbe]

[10] P”M 472 M”Z 4 as the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av is Biblical while leaning is Rabbinical; Kaf Hachaim 472:33

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that he may lean even in such a case. [Chok Yaakov ibid]

[11] Setimas Haposkim

Other opinions: Some Poskim write that a son is not to lean near his father unless there is another person separating between them. [Vayaged Moshe 8:6 based on Rashi Shmuel 1 20:25]