Shliach-Can the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents be fulfilled through an emissary?[1]
It is possible to fulfill the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents through hiring someone to do so on one’s behalf.[2] One may even hire a Gentile for this purpose.[3] Nonetheless, as is the general rule, it is a greater mitzvah for one to personally serve and honor his parents then to do so through a hired emissary. This applies even if the son is a Torah scholar.[4] Furthermore, from some Rishonim it is evident that the main mitzvah is only fulfilled when one personally attends to his parent, even if he could do it through an emissary.[5] If, however, the son lives a distance from the parent, or simply does not get along well with them, then he may hire someone to provide them their needs rather than do so himself.[6] In such a case, it is proper for one to pay the emissary for his troubles, even if the emissary is willing to do so for free.[7] Nonetheless, if the parent desires that specifically his son care for him, then he cannot delegate the duty to another person to do so, and is even to live next to his parents for this purpose.[8]
| Personally answering the door for your parent:[9]
Rebbe Avahu stated: One should honor his parent as did my son Avimi. My son Avimi had five sons in the lifetime of his father, and nonetheless when his father Rebbe Avahu would come knocking on the door, he would personally run up the door to open it up for him even though he could’ve had one of the sons do so. He would also acknowledge his father’s presence right away and as he was running to open the door, he would tell him that he was coming to open it. |
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[1] Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:37; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 379-380
[2] Shemen Hamaor Chelek Haderushim p. 111; Zera Emes 2:148; Kneses Yechezkal Mareches Chaf; Implication of Kiddushin 31b; Meiah Shearim Shaar 33-36
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the Mitzvah cannot be fulfilled through another. [Implication of Machaneh Chaim 2 C.M. 29 who implies that a son cannot delegate the mitzvah to another; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 162; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 379 footnote 123]
[3] Article of Rav Sheprun in Koveitz Hayashar Vehatov 13:7
[4] Kiddushin 32a regarding Avimi; Kiddushin 41a; Michtam Ledavid Y.D. 32; Meiah Shearim ibid in length; Sdei Chemed 4:239; See Admur 249
[5] See Tosafus Riy Hazakein Kiddushin 31b; Yerushalmi Kiddushin 1:7; Semak 50; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 162; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 379 footnote 115-121 and 123
[6] Shemen Hamaor ibid; Michtam Ledavid Y.D. 32; Or Hayashar Pesachim 104b; Har Tzvi Y.D. 97
[7] Yismach Moshe Parshas Eikev; Mur Veahalos 31; Sdei Chemed 9 Divrei Chachamim 44; Darkei Teshuvah 28:61; Doveiv Meisharim 1:47-2; See however P”M 432 A”A 5
[8] Shemen Hamaor ibid
[9] Kiddushin 32a
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