Chapter 2: The Pregnancy[1]

See our corresponding Sefer “Kedushas Habayis” Chapter 1 for the great importance of sanctification of the couple during intimacy and the everlasting effect it has on one’s children!

1. Introduction-Chassidus and Derush:

A. The Angels that guard the fetus from the evil inclination:

G-d arranges two angels to guard the fetus while it is in the stomach of the mother.[2] The purpose of this guarding is to protect the fetus from the evil inclination entering into it prematurely. Throughout the period of time that the fetus is in the mother’s room it internalizes the Torah and mitzvahs into his heart and all 248 limbs of his body. This is a result of the Torah that the fetus is taught while it is in his mother’s womb, as during this time it is taught the entire Torah. This itself is done in order so the holiness of the Torah and Mitzvahs is internalized into the body prior to the evil inclination, as the evil inclination only enters the body after the child is prepared to leave the womb and enter the air of the world. On this it states that sin stands at the opening, as it stands at the opening of the womb ready to enter the fetus as soon as it is ready to be born. This is the purpose of the two angels who guard the fetus, to make sure that the evil inclination does not enter into the fetus prior to the time of birth.[3]

 

B. The Torah learning and activity of a fetus in its mother’s womb?[4]

The Talmud[5] states that there are no days that are as good for man as these days when the child is found in his mother’s womb. While in the mother’s womb a candle is lit on its head through which he can see from one end of the world to the other. Likewise, while in the mother’s womb the baby is taught the entire Torah.

Forgetting his learning: The Talmud concludes that as soon as he comes out into the air of the world an angel comes and slaps him on his mouth and causes him to forget the entire Torah.[6]

The explanation in Chassidus and Mefarshim-A study of the soul not body:[7] The meaning behind the above Talmudic statement is that the soul of the child is taught the entire Torah in heaven while it is in the state of gestation/Ibbur, and that this learning of Torah gives the child the power afterwards when he is alive to have the light of G-d shine within him and arouse feelings of love and fear of G-d.[8] Likewise, if the person later on in life exerts himself tremendously in Torah learning he will be able to remember the Torah that he had learned prior to birth.[9] The Maharal explains that the slapping of the child on his mouth by an angel is not literal, and rather refers to the entering of the soul into the body which occurs by birth, and is like the final touch to the making of a vessel, known as a Maka Bepatish.

The curriculum and learning schedule on Thursday night:[10] A most interesting related aspect regarding the above Talmudic statement is recorded in the Reshimos of the Rebbe Rayatz. This statement was heard from one of the most elderly Admurim of the previous generation while he stayed for Shabbos in the city of Pramishlan, who said it in the name of his grandfather who was a student of the Baal Shem Tov. The following is the statement: Before a child is born, he is taught the entire Torah, and I heard from my teacher the Baal Shem Tov, that on Thursday nights the child is taught the weekly Parsha together with the commentary of Rashi. Now, one who G-d has blessed with a good memory, when he becomes older and studies the Parsha on Thursday night together with the commentary of Rashi, he remembers the insights that he was taught prior to being born. After the above said Admur repeated this statement in the name of his grandfather, he stated that ever since then he makes sure to study the weekly Parsha together with the commentary of Rashi on every Thursday night.

 C. Who does the child come from, the father or mother?

The Talmud[11] states that there are three partners in a child, Hashem, the father and the mother. The white parts of the child come from the father, while the red parts come from the mother. The white parts include the sinews, bones, and nails, brain, the white of the eye. The red part includes the skin, flesh, hair, the back part of the eye.

Sources that state that the child is mainly from sperm of male: The main body of a child is from the drop of the male.[12] He refines the child so the waste is expelled outside, and from this refinement comes the child.[13] The job of the mother is to merely develop this drop of the father and form it into limbs and a human face.[14]

Sources that state that the child is mainly from the female: The main seeding of the child, and his development, is from the drop of the mother, as from her comes the flesh of the child.[15] The function of the male drop is simply to refine the drop of the female, that the child develops from the choicest of her seed.[16] This is explained in the medical books as follows: The mother gives off the seed, and the seed of the father simply fertilizes and catalyzes it, similar to a catalyst turning milk into cheese. The seed of the father refines the seed of the mother to make it congeal and make from it a child.[17]

Answering the contradiction: The above compilation of sources projects a contradiction as to which parent is the one mainly responsible for the child’s existence and from whose seed is the child mainly created from. The Talmud suggests that both share in the development and existence of the body of the child, and both of their seeds are a component of the child’s body. From the other sources however it is evident that it is either the fathers seed which creates the entire child and the mothers seed is simply there to develop it, or that it is the mothers seed which creates the entire child and the fathers seed is simply there to refine it. Seemingly, one must answer as follows: The main internal parts of the body, including the body’s skeletal structure and neurological system, are developed from the father’s seed, and from this respect the seed of the mother is simply there to help develop it. However, the main external parts of the body, including the skin flesh and circulatory system, are developed from the seed of the mother and from this respect the seed of the father is simply there to help develop it. Thus both the father and mother contain a portion in the part of the body of the child which was developed from their specific seed, while the other part which was developed from the seed of their partner they helped to refine and develop. Vetzaruch Iyun, Vehashem Yair Es Eiyneiynu!   The science and biology behind an embryo’s development and conception due to fertilization: The following is the current scientific and medical understanding of how a fetus is developed as result of intercourse, or fertilization. This is universally taught in classes of biology, and much of it is scientifically proven under microscopic observation. Cells and chromosomes of the human body: The human body is made up of cells, of which each cell is made up of 46 chromosomes. In detail, each cell contains two sets of chromosome coils, with 23 chromosomes in each set. The two sets of chromosome strings in each cell are attached together like a spring, for a total of 46 chromosomes in each cell. The X and Y sets of chromosome strings-Male versus Female: There exists two types of string containing 23 chromosomes. One of them is known as the X set of chromosomes while the other is known as the Y set of chromosomes. The X set of chromosomes is known as the female chromosome while the Y is known as the male chromosome. The letters represent the shapes of the chromosome. Males have an X and Y set of 23 chromosomes in each cell, while female have a set of 23 X and X chromosomes. The chromosomes found in a reproductive cell-sperm and egg: The reproductive cells of a man and woman contain only one of the sets of 23 chromosomes, as opposed to the normal 46 chromosomes contained in a regular cell. When the 23 chromosomes of the male’s reproductive cell [i.e. sperm] unites with the 23 chromosomes of the female’s reproductive cell [i.e. the egg] it creates a whole cell and is the start of a pregnancy. Gender determination: The female reproductive cells are always an X while the male reproductive cells contain either an X set or a Y set. Some sperm cells are an X cell while others a Y cell. If an X sperm cell reaches the egg, the embryo will develop into a girl. If the Y sperm cell reaches an egg, it will develop into a boy. Interestingly, the Y sperm cell which is a male is always dominant over the X egg cell of the female. The Y sperm cell does not dominate over every aspect of the embryo or female X egg cell, but only over the gender organs. However, hair color, and many other aspects can be contributed from the female X egg cell. It is possible that a single ejaculation will have many more Y sperm cells than X sperm cells, and hence chances of having a boy are much higher. It is likewise possible to have the opposite, that a single ejaculation will have many more X sperm cells than Y sperm cells, and hence chances of having a girl are much higher. This is affected by diet, stress, and is also hereditary. [Thus, a man with many more sisters than brothers will likely have many girls.] The Y sperm cells are quicker and faster in reaching the egg than the X sperm cell, and this is one advantage that they have in affecting gender determination in which indeed there are more males than females born in the world each year. The X sperm cell however is more durable in face of stress, in contrast to the Y sperm cell which more easily dies, and thus often the gender of the child is a female and not a male despite the speed advantage of the Y sperm cell. Multiple ejaculations will increase chances of having a male, as there are now more fast Y sperm cells swimming to the egg. When a woman is aroused, her body naturally tries to assist the Y sperm cells to reach the egg versus the X sperm cells.[18] [Thus, a woman’s body naturally accelerates the male sperm cell for the sake of having a male child.] With that said, as of date, there exists no scientific way of guaranteeing gender selection other than IVF.   Words of Chazal which correspond to the above science: Chazal teach us that boys relate more to the mother. They state that if a woman gives seed first then she has a male child.[19] Likewise, Chazal state that the sons are similar to the mother’s brothers.[20] One can suggest that when Chazal stated that Isha Mazria Techila Yoledes Zachar it means that when she is aroused she sends off her Chesed aspects which “select” the Y sperm cell to enter the egg. Now, although the Y is dominant in the male gender organ formation, the woman’s X sperm cell contributes many of the other aspects, and hence in essence a boy’s body and nature is more the result of the women’s X chromosome than the Y chromosome which is only there for gender selection. However, if the man is Mazria Techila, then the woman’s body is not yet aroused enough to fight for the Y sperm cell, and hence it is more possible that the child will be a female, as the Y sperm of a man is only more popular and stronger at specific times. Now, when the X sperm cell reaches the egg, it is dominant over the woman’s X egg cell and hence the child is more derived from the father sperm.

D. The contribution of the parents to the soul of the child:

Both the husband and wife each independently provide vital parts of the soul garments for the child.[21] One provides the child with an Or Makif while the other provides the child with an Or Penimi.[22] While all agree that it is the Or Makif which is of greatest importance for the child, it is disputed as to which parent provides the Or Makif, the mother, or the father.[23] Practically, Admur concludes that it is the father who provides the Or Makif and the mother who provides the Or Penimi.[24]

E. The mystical power to procreate:[25]

The ability to have children is one of the greatest miracles embedded within nature, experienced and felt by every father and mother especially by the birth of their first child. This physical ability to procreate, and create something so magnificent from practically nothing, is the result of G-d’s infinite light, known as the Or Ein Sof, which carries the sole ability to create ex-nihilo. This infinite light of G-d is drawn down on Yom Kippur and is responsible for the forgiveness and atonement of one’s sins, as sin cannot blemish this light of G-d, and hence from this perspective it is as if sin does not exist. This same infinite divine light is drawn down on the day of the wedding for the sake of giving the couple the ability to procreate and have children. It is this very infinite light which then also provides atonement and forgiveness for all of one’s sins on the day of the wedding.

F. The soul power of birth is invested in the drops of semen:

The power of birth comes from the essence of the soul, and is not only the result of the seed of man that derives from his brain. Within the sperm which derives from the brain is invested the soul. While the sperm is responsible for the creation of the body of the child, the soul that is within it is responsible for the living being that will be inside that body.

G. When is the soul of the child created?[26]

The soul of the child is created at the moment of conception.

2. Segulos for getting pregnant and having male children:

A. Segulos for getting pregnant and having children:[27]

Consulting with a physician and receiving medical treatment:[28] In addition to all of the below Segulos, a couple who is having difficulty in  getting pregnant and having children should seek expert medical advice in this field [i.e. reproductive endocrinologists, otherwise known as fertility doctors, who specialize in infertility].

The Segulos: There are several Segulos recorded in Chazal and Sefarim for the bearing of children. The following are some of the Segulos that are recorded:

1. Praying to G-d:[29] One who is having difficulty getting pregnant and having children is to pray to G-d and beseech Him to grant one a child.
2. Trust in G-d:[30] Having faith and trust in G-d that one will merit to have a child is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children. Even one who asked his Rebbe, or Tzaddik for a blessing and received a positive blessing for children, must not forget G-d who is the source of all blessing and is the one who actually gives the child. Trusting only in a man of flesh and blood, including even a Tzaddik, can G-d forbid lead to a miscarriage of the fetus with which the Tzaddik blessed the couple.[31]
3. Psalm of Mizmor Ledavid Hashem Roiy:[32] Saying the Psalm of Mizmor Ledavid Hashem Roiy [Tehillim 23] prior to marital relations is a Segula for having children.
4. Do the will of G-d and the will of one’s wife:[33] One who desires children is to do the will of G-d and the will of his wife. He is to do the will of G-d by dispersing charity and do the will of his wife by rejoicing with her during intimacy.
5. Add in Torah and Mitzvos:[34] Adding in the fulfillment of Torah and Mitzvos is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
6. Taharas Hamishpacha:[35]  Being careful to guard all the detailed laws of Taharas Hamishpacha is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children, as at times the blessing of G-d for having children is obstructed due to lack of observance of Taharas Hamishpacha. This includes being well learned in all the laws of Nida, Hefsek Taharah, Tevila in a Kosher mikvah, and probably observing these detailed laws. If necessary, one should speak with a Rav for the details of these subjects. One should be careful in these matters not just prior to becoming pregnant but always, even after birth.[36] If the husband or wife expresses strong regret about the keeping of the laws of family purity after she already became pregnant, this can G-d forbid cause a miscarriage. Accordingly, one is not to express regret of this matter.[37]
7. Covering the hair:[38] Having the wife be careful to properly cover her hair, is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
8. Tzenius:[39] Being extra careful in the laws of Tzenius is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
9. Checking the Tefillin and Mezuzos:[40] Checking the Tefillin and Mezuzos to verify that they are 100% Kosher is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
10. Charity:[41] Distributing charity is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children. Charity should be distributed by the wife prior to prayer on every Monday and Thursday, and prior to candle lighting on every Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov. It should be distributed to an institution in the field of Torah education. 
11. Studying and spreading Chassidus:[42] Learning Toras Hachassidus and spreading its teachings is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children. One should not pass three days without learning Chassidus.
12. Spreading Judaism:[43] Spreading Judaism and strengthening its observance is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
13. Working in Torah education: Working in the field of Torah education is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
14. Teaching Torah to others:[44] Teaching Torah to other people is a great Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
15. Being involved in love of a fellow Jew:[45] Being involved in activities that express love for a fellow Jew is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
16. Hachanasas Orchim:[46] Fulfilling the Mitzvah of Hachanasas Orchim by feeding guests and the poor, is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
17. Becoming expert in a Misechta of Shas:[47] If one is not a Kohen and is married to the daughter of a Kohen then it is proper for him to become an expert in at least one tractate of Shas. It suffices to be well versed even in a small Misechta, such as Miseches Kallah. Doing so is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
18. To move to Israel:[48] Making Aliyah to the land of Israel is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
19. Not to express regret of the pregnancy:[49] If the husband or wife expresses strong regret about the pregnancy after she already became pregnant, this can G-d forbid cause a miscarriage. Accordingly, one is not to express regret of the pregnancy.
20. Avoiding making an oath and swear:[50] One who is having difficulty having children should especially be careful not to take an oath or swear even about a truthful matter. Certainly, they should not swear by the life of someone.
21. Make a Shidduch:[51] Being involved in the making of a Shidduch for a couple is a Segula for getting pregnant and having children.
22. Forgiveness from past Shidduch:[52] A couple who is having difficulty in getting pregnant and having children should contemplate if during Shidduchim the husband or wife offended someone in a way that requires them to ask for their forgiveness, and if so then they should ask for their forgiveness whether in front of them or not in front of them.
23. Segula to prevent miscarriage-Not publicizing the pregnancy:[53] A woman who has a history of miscarriage should be especially careful not to publicize her pregnancy until the fifth month with exception to close relatives.
24. Segula to prevent miscarriage-Avoid heavy items and overexertion:[54] Certainly, a woman who has a history of miscarriages should avoid lifting heavy items, and overexerting herself with extra strenuous activity.

 

A further list of Segulos recorded in other rare Sefarim [not mentioned by the Rebbe or classic sources]:[55]

*Some of the below Segulos are not recommended to be performed without consultation with a Rabbi.

1. Mikveh on Motzei Shabbos:[56] Immersing in a Mikveh on Saturday night, making sure to be escorted by two women to the Mikveh is a traditional Segula handed down from righteous women for having children.
2. Kamia:[57] She is to have the Roshei Teivos of the verse of Torah Tziva Lanu Moshe Morasha Kehilas Yaakov written on parchment, and read the verse from it 26 times for the first three nights after Mikvah.
3. Vapor of lamb lung:[58] Cook the lung and liver of a lamb in expensive wine and when it reaches a boil remove it from the fire and have its vapor enter her body until its heat has dissipated. She should then have intimacy in a warm home.
4. Be happy: Being joyful and happy is a Segula for having children.
5. Charity: Distribute charity to the poor on the night of Mikvah.
6. Meat and olive oil: Eating animal meat and drinking olive oil is a Segula for having children.
7. Mila knife: Looking at the night of the Mila after the bris is a Segula for having children.
8. Magnetic stone: Wearing a necklace with a magnetic stone is a Segula for having children.
9. Wood from grave of a Tzaddik: Wearing a necklace with a piece of wood from the grave of a Tzaddik is a Segula for having children

 

Swallowing the foreskin:[59]

There are barren women who are accustomed to swallow the circumcised foreskin after dipping it honey as a Segula for having children.[60] The Poskim[61], however, vehemently opposed this custom and it is to be abolished.

 

B Segulos for having a boy:[62]

There are several Segulos recorded in Chazal and Sefarim for the bearing of male children. The following are some of the Segulos that are recorded:

1. Being careful in the laws of Nidah.[63]
2. Being careful in Hafrashas Challah.[64]
3. Being careful in lighting the Shabbos candles.[65]
4. Sanctification:[66] One who sanctifies himself during intercourse will have male children, as the verse states Vehiskadashtem Vihayisem Kedoshim, and then states in the next Parsha “Isha Ki Sazria.”
5. Do the will of wife and G-d:[67] One who desires male children is to do the will of G-d and the will of his wife. He is to do the will of G-d by dispersing charity and do the will of his wife by rejoicing with her during the intercourse.
6. Placing the bed from North to South:[68] In addition to the Halachic obligation[69], placing the bed from North to South [is a Segula] for having male children.
7. Giving seed first:[70] One who remains a long time on his wife’s stomach [during intimacy[71]] in order so she gives seed first, merits to have male children, as if the wife gives seed first a male child is born.
8. Repetition:[72] Having intercourse twice in a row [in close approximation[73]], merits having male children.[74]
9. Beautification:[75] Having intercourse with one’s wife if she beautifies herself for her husband, and tries to appease him for the sake of getting his attention and affection [of intimacy], merits one to have male children who are wise and righteous.
10. Charity: Giving charity prior to intimacy is a Segula for having male children.[76] Giving charity daily, prior to Davening is also a Segula for having male children.[77]
11. Ahavas Hashem and Ahavas Yisrael:[78] Fulfilling the Mitzvah of Ahavas Hashem, Ahavas Yisrael, and Ahavas Hatorah,  is a Segula for having male children.
12. Hachanasas Orchim:[79] Performing the Mitzvah of Hachanasas Orchim with a good and happy heart is a Segula for having male children.

C. The importance of having holy intentions during intimacy and its effect on one’s future children:[80]

Sanctification of one’s thoughts is of utmost importance during intimacy as it has a tremendous effect on the children. See our corresponding Sefer “Kedushas Habayis” Chapter 7 Halacha 2 for the full details of this subject!

The soul level is based on the holiness of intimacy:[81] One is to know that in accordance with the state of sanctity of the intimacy, so will be drawn down the soul of the child; if one sanctifies oneself, the resultant child will have a holy soul. If the couple intends their intimacy to become united and have the Shechina dwell in their union, and thus attach to the Shechina, then so too will they have a child who desires to attach to the Shechina.

The garments of the soul are directly affected by the level of holiness maintained during the marital union:[82] The Zohar[83] states that the spiritual level of one’s children is mainly dependent on the sanctification of the parents, specifically during intimacy, in contrast to the children of  ignoramuses which are likewise born as ignoramuses due to their parents. The explanation of this matter is as follows, every soul, whether the Nefesh, Ruach or Neshamah, contains a garment/Levush which it receives from the soul of the essence of its father and mother.[84] All the Mitzvos that the child performs is from that Levush, and even the Shefa [Divine benevolence] that one is given from heaven goes through that garment. Now, if one sanctifies himself during intimacy, then he will draw down a holy garment for his son’s soul. Accordingly, even if one’s son is destined to have a very high soul, he needs his father’s sanctification. [The soul garment referred to here is the “Nefesh Hasichlis,” the intellectual soul, which serves as a medium between the G-dly and animal soul.[85]]

The souls levels are not entirely affected by the holiness of the parents:[86] [Although the Zohar ibid, and Mekubalim[87] state that the soul of the child is affected by the Kedusha of the parents, in truth] this is only regarding the soul garments, however, the soul itself [is not always affected by the parents lack of sanctification,] as at times the soul of an infinitely lofty individual comes to be the son of a low and shameful person, as writes the Arizal.[88] [Nevertheless, the above is only on occasion, as normally, the level of soul that is chosen for the child is measured by the spiritual state of the parents, and hence Tzadikim tend to draw down high and lofty souls for their children, while Resha’im draw down from Nefesh D’Nefesh D’Malchus D’Asiyah, which is the lowest level of holiness of Asiyah.[89] Accordingly, the intent of Admur above is not to state that the soul level of one’s child is not decided based on the spiritual state of the parents and their sanctity of intimacy, but rather that it is not affected or changed by the sanctity and righteousness of the parents, and rather that Hashem merits to grant the son a high soul based on the righteousness of the parents.[90]]

3. Segulos to be followed during pregnancy:[91]

A. Placing the bed from North to South:[92]

In addition to the Halachic obligation[93], placing the bed from North to South [is a Segula] for having healthy pregnancies without miscarriage.

B. Lamnatzeiach Ye’ancha-The Segula of reciting the Mizmor of “Lamnatzeiach Ye’ancha” during pregnancy prior to retiring to sleep:[94]

Throughout all the days of a woman’s pregnancy, the husband[95] is to say the Psalm of Lamnatzei’ach Ya’ancha [Kapital 20, printed between Ashreiy and Uva Letziyon] prior to sleep.

Repeating the verse of Ya’ancha: At the conclusion of the paragraph, the verse of Ya’ancha is to be repeated a second time.

Where:[96] The Psalm is to be recited within the recital of the bedtime Shema, prior to the blessing of Hamapil.

Being discreet:[97] One is to be discreet about this custom.

The Kavanos:[98] When reciting the above paragraph, one should do so with intent that G-d accept his recital as if it was done with all the proper [Kabbalistic] intents.

Beli Neder:[99] The above is to be done without it taking the status of a vow, [and hence one should explicitly intend to do so Beli Neder when first beginning this custom].

C. Pesicha-Doing Pesicha when one’s wife is pregnant:[100]

It is a Segula [for an easy and painless birth[101], as well as custom with mystical basis[102]] for the husband to endeavor to perform Pesicha and remove the Sefer Torah when his wife enters her ninth[103] month of pregnancy [until she gives birth[104]].[105] [This Segula includes closing the doors of the Aron after the Sefer Torah is removed.[106] This Segula applies both on Shabbos and weekdays.[107] One should not purposely try to outbid one who is careful to keep this custom, just so they give more money for the honor.[108] Some write that one is to also say a special prayer during Pesicha on behalf of his wife.[109] Practically, one is only to do the above Segula if it can be done without drawing too much attention to the fact that he is habitually performing Pesicha.[110] This Segula was advised by the Rebbe to certain individuals[111], although was omitted by the Rebbe from being published in a booklet of Minhagei Chabad relating to childbirth[112], hence implying that it is not meant to be a directive for all the public to follow.]

D. Eating Esrog jelly:[113]

Some are accustomed to make Esrog jelly from the Esrog of the Daled Minim. The jelly is consumed on the night of the 15th of Shevat which is the Rosh Hashanah for trees. The consumption of this Esrog jelly is a Segula for women to have an easy birth. [Some[114] are accustomed to also save the Esrog jelly to be eaten on Shavuos.]

E. Biting the Pitum of the Esrog:[115]

Some pregnant women are accustomed bite off the Pitum of the Esrog on Hoshana Raba as a Segula for an easy birth. Some Poskim[116], however, negate this custom being that it is forbidden to taste from the Esrog until after Sukkos.

 

F. Melaveh Malka:[117]

It is said in the name of Harav Elimelech Milizensk that it is a Segula for women to have an easy birth if they eat a food in honor of the Mitzvah of Melaveh Malka. They are explicitly to state they are eating the food out of respect for this meal.

4. Hanhagos- Good deeds to be followed during pregnancy:

A. Matters to be careful in to protect woman during childbirth r”l:[118]

The following matters are a source of protection for a woman during childbirth:

1. Being careful in the laws of Nidah.
2. Being careful in Hafrashas Challah. [Some women are accustomed to separating Challah in the ninth month as a Segula for an easy birth.[119]]
3. Being careful in lighting the Shabbos candles.
4. Rav Acha adds that properly guarding Shabbos and not washing the dirt off of their children’s clothing on Shabbos.[120]
5. Not transgressing a vow.[121]

B. Looking at holy images:[122]

Throughout her pregnancy, a woman is to try to see holy images. She should visit the synagogues and halls of study and see and hear the Torah discussions of the Torah scholars and righteous men. These words of Torah will enter into her ears and sanctify the child that is within her, as the fetus hears and understands everything. So was done by the mother of Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Chanania when she was pregnant with him and for this reason she had a very holy child who was a great Torah scholar.[123]

 

C. Charity:[124]

During the pregnancy, the woman is to be careful to donate some money to charity each morning.

Erev Shabbos: Likewise, money should be donated to charity prior to lighting candles on Erev Shabbos.[125] It should be donated towards the charity of Rabbi Meir Baal Haneis. These moneys should be pledged to charity with saying Beli Neder, without binding oneself with a vow. In one letter, the Rebbe mentions that she should add 18 pennies towards the amount that she normally gives to charity on Erev Shabbos.[126]

 

D. Checking Mezuzos:[127]

During the pregnancy, the Mezuzos of the home are to be checked to ensure that they are Kosher if they have not been checked in the previous 12 months.

E. Extra Torah study and Mitzvah observance:[128]

During the pregnancy, a woman is to increase her study of Torah and Mitzvah observance for the benefit of the child.

F. Reciting the daily Tehillim:[129]

The husband is to be particular in reciting the daily Tehillim.

G. Fasting in the ninth month:[130]

Some are accustomed for the husband and wife to fast during the ninth month of pregnancy, or alternatively to redeem the fast with charity, and pray on behalf of an easy birth. [Practically, it is no longer customary to fast.]

5. Davening on behalf of the child before and during the pregnancy:[131]

Prior to intimacy:[132] The husband and wife are to pray to G-d prior to the intimacy that they merit to have children who are successful Torah learners, have holy souls, are wealthy and healthy and righteous in all their ways. This prayer should be done prior to intimacy even during the months of pregnancy and certainly prior to her becoming pregnant.[133]

Throughout the pregnancy:[134] Throughout the days of the pregnancy, one should pray on behalf of their child that the child be G-d fearing and wise and be successful in his religious observance of Torah and Mitzvos and always distribute charity to the poor. Likewise, one should pray for the physical health of the child and that he not be sick and be carried to term.[135]

Praying within 40 days from conception versus after 40 days: This prayer for the child to be wise and G-d-fearing may be recited throughout the pregnancy even past the first 40 days.[136] Nonetheless, it is especially important to say this prayer throughout each of the first 40 days.[137]

Davening for a boy [or girl]:[138] Up until 40 days from the time of conception it is permitted for the parents to pray that the child be of a specific gender, whether a boy or girl. However, after 40 days from conception one may no longer Daven for the gender of the child due to it being a Tefilas Shav as the gender has already taken form by this time.

The Talmud’s directives of what to pray for by each period of the pregnancy:[139] Within the first three days after intimacy one should pray that the seed not spoil and that she conceive and become pregnant. From after the three days until the passing of 40 days from conception one should pray that the child be a male. From 40 days from conception until the passing of three months from conception one should pray that the child not be a sandal [i.e. that she not become pregnant with another child which can affect the figure of the child]. From three months from conception until six months one should pray that she does not miscarry. From the sixth month until the ninth month one should pray that she have a healthy birth.

Charity:[140] It is proper to give money towards charity prior to reciting this prayer.[141]

During candle lighting:[142] Candle lighting time on Erev Shabbos is a most auspicious time for one to pray on behalf of one’s children.[143] Thus, after lighting her Shabbos candles she is to pray on behalf of her yet to be born child. Some say the following Nussach of prayer “May it be your will that my children shine the world [ i.e. influence others] with Torah and Mitzvahs and fear of heaven.”

In the ninth month:[144] In the start of the ninth month of pregnancy the husband and wife are to pray on behalf of an easy and healthy birth.

The prayers of the wives of King David:[145] The wives of King David upon becoming pregnant with his child would make various pledges to charity and pray during the days of the pregnancy that the child be a great warrior and be physically beautiful and merit the kingship, although the children of these wives did not merit it. However, when Batsheva became pregnant she pledged to charity and prayed that her son be wise and G-d-fearing and merit prophecy, and G-d specifically heard her prayers and gave her son both what she prayed for and what she did not pray for, as King Solomon received wisdom more than any other man, and he merited also the monarchy. All this was because she focused her prayers on her son being a servant of G-d which is the main focus, as opposed to praying for the monarchy which the others made the main focus.

6. Publicizing, and informing relatives, family, and friends of the pregnancy:[146]

Not to publicize until the 5th month: [Due to mystical reasons[147], and possibly also due to reasons of Ayin Hara[148]] it is an ancient custom from previous generations[149], which is practiced by Chassidim, and was directed by the Rebbe and Rebbe Rayatz, not to publicize the pregnancy until the woman enters her fifth month.[150]

Informing Relatives, parents, children, and close friends before the 5th month: The above restriction is merely against publicizing the matter, while informing very close relatives may be done even prior to entering the fifth month.[151] Certainly, parents may be told before the 5th month.[152] [Likewise, one may tell all of one’s children about the pregnancy.[153]] Certainly, the husband is to be informed right away.[154] Furthermore, even regular relatives and close friends may be informed prior to the fifth month.[155]

Informing relatives etc before the end of 3rd month: Some sources state that despite the above exception of allowances to inform relatives and close friends prior to the 5th month, the accepted custom is to nevertheless hide the information of the pregnancy from even very close relatives until after the third month.[156] Other sources, however, seem to dismiss this statement and permit the informing of all the above relatives and close friends even within the three months of pregnancy.[157] [Hence, according to the former approach, from the start of the pregnancy until three months one does not inform any relatives of the news, and in the start of the fourth month one may inform relatives and close friends, and in the start of the fifth month one may publicize the matter to anyone of one’s choice. Some however write that even according to the former approach, parents are not included in the above restriction, and may be informed immediately even prior to the third month.[158] Certainly, even according to the former approach, parents may be told immediately for the sake of consultation and mental and emotional support for the pregnancy, and in such a situation it is no different than informing a doctor which may and must be done right away as explained next. Likewise, certainly the husband is not included in this restriction and he may be informed immediately. Practically from the Rebbe’s letters it seems clear that there is no restriction at all to inform close relatives prior to the end of the third month.]

Informing doctors and other people who need to know the information: Of course, one is obligated to inform their doctor.[159] Likewise, anyone who needs to be informed for whatever reason [i.e. parents, birth coach, etc, etc] may be informed.[160] [These individuals may be informed immediately, even prior to the third month of pregnancy.]

Informing the Rebbe:[161] Some sources state that prior to the end of the third month and start of the fourth month of pregnancy, we do not inform the Rebbe of the pregnancy, whether in a Pan or in any other form or method.[162] However, in practice, Chassidim of our Rebbe were accustomed to inform the Rebbe of the pregnancy even prior to the third month[163], and so directed the Rebbe to a certain individual inform the Rebbe immediately of the pregnancy.[164] Practically, there is no issue today with informing the Rebbe of the pregnancy in a Pan placed in one of the Sefarim or sent to the Ohel, even prior to the third month.[165]

Who	When may inform
Parents	Immediately
Husband	Immediately
Doctors and all others who need to know	Immediately
Rebbe	Immediately in Pan to Ohel
Relatives and close friends	After 3 months may inform according to all
All others	After 4 months may inform

7. Matters to avoid during pregnancy:

A. Avoiding Non-Kosher foods-Mehadrin foods:[166]

Pregnant women are to especially avoid eating non-Kosher foods. Thus, throughout her pregnancy she is to beware to eat only foods that are of the utmost standard of Kashrus. Eating non-Kosher, or questionably Kosher foods[167], can be damaging to the soul of the fetus regarding his future fear of heaven.

Q&A May a pregnant woman who is in need for milk products, eat them within 6 hours of eating meat?[168] Yes. She is to recite an after blessing, wash out her mouth, and wait one hour between milk and meat.

B. Avoiding looking at sinful images and impure areas:[169]

Throughout the days of the pregnancy, a woman is to be especially careful not to go to impure areas which are filled with sin and transgression. She should likewise not look at any such areas and should only look at matters of purity. [Accordingly, a pregnant woman is especially to avoid looking at sinful and prohibited images. She should avoid walking by a church, or other house of idolatry.] The reason for this is because her fetus likewise sees the images and understands the lust for sin involved in it. This can cause the evil inclination to enter the child earlier than expected and prevent him from properly progressing in the service of G-d. For this reason, a woman is to especially avoid sin throughout her pregnancy.

C. Sins:[170]

For the reason mentioned above, a woman is to especially avoid sin throughout her pregnancy.

D. Non-Kosher animals-Zoo:[171]

A woman is to avoid looking at impure, Non-Kosher, animals throughout her pregnancy.[172] This likewise applies after the birth, that she is to be careful not to show her child non-Kosher imagery. [Accordingly, some write that a pregnant woman should not visit a zoo in order so she does not see non-Kosher animals that can have an effect on her fetus.[173]]

E. Nails:[174]

Nails contain a certain impurity which can be lethal for the fetus of a pregnant woman, and cause a miscarriage heaven forfend, if she steps on it.[175] For this reason, it is necessary to discard one’s nails properly to assure that a pregnant woman will not come to step on them.[176] [This applies towards nails of both males and females, and especially is relevant to the nails of a woman who is ritually impure.[177] Due to this reason pregnant women are to be aware not to walk in areas that contain nails.[178]] There are three different ways of discarding the nails, relative to three types of characteristics:[179]

• Chassid: A Chassid burns his nails.[180] [The Rebbe Rashab would mix some wood together with the nails before burning it.[181]] [See Q&A]
• Righteous person: A righteous person buries his nails.[182]
• Rasha: A Rasha discards his nails on the floor.[183]

Throwing one’s nails in a Beis Hamidrash and bathhouse:[184] It is permitted for one to throw his nails in a Beis Midrash and places of the like [such as a bathhouse-Men’s Mikveh[185]] in which women are not accustomed to entering.

Nails which have been swept to a different area:[186] The nails are only considered a danger while in the original area that they were thrown in after they were cut. If however they are swept to another area then they are no longer a danger.[187] [Some Poskim[188] rule that only if the nails have been swept to another room, or to the outside, is it considered to have switched areas, and no longer contain danger for a pregnant woman. If however they were moved into another area within the same room then it is questionable whether this suffices to remove the danger.[189] Other Poskim[190], however, rule that so long as the nail has been moved from the exact area in which it fell, it is no longer considered dangerous, even if it remains in the same room. Some Poskim[191] also limit the above allowance of moving the nails only to a case in which one had no prior intent to move it at the time that it was cut. If, however, during the cutting itself one intended to eventually move it to a different area then the nail has ability to damage in the second area as well.]

Q&A on discarding nails What is one to do if a nail dropped and became lost?[192] He is to sweep the dirt of that area into another room.[193] May one throw the nails into the sink or toilet rather than burn or bury them?[194] Yes. Throwing the nails into the sink or toilet is similar to burying them. Nevertheless, one who wishes to follow the practice of a Chassid is to specifically burn them rather then throw them in the toilet. Do the nails of a gentile have the power to injure? This matter requires further analysis.[195]   May one discard his nails in an area of gentiles where Jews are not commonly found? Some Poskim[196] write it is permitted to do so.[197] Cutting another item with the nail cutter nullifies the danger: Some Poskim[198] write that if one cuts another item with the nail cutter after the nails were cut, the danger is no longer applicable.

F. Foods to avoid eating during pregnancy:

1. Pregnant women are to especially avoid eating the hearts of animals.[199]
2. Pregnant women are to especially avoid eating liver.[200]
3. Some write that pregnant women are to avoid eating Turmeric powder throughout the days of their pregnancy.[201]
4. Some write that pregnant women are to avoid eating radishes throughout the days of their pregnancy.[202]

G. Avoiding things that cause loss of memory:[203]

Some Poskim[204] rule that all foods and matters that are avoided due to memory loss hazards apply also to pregnant women.

 

H. Anger:[205]

A pregnant woman is to especially be careful to avoid anger.

 

I. Physical exertion:[206]

Lifting heavy items: A woman who has a history of miscarriages should avoid lifting heavy items.

Running: A woman who has a history of miscarriages should avoid overexerting herself with extra strenuous activity.

J. Entering a cemetery:[207]

From the letter of the law, it is permitted for a pregnant woman to enter a cemetery.[208] However, many women are accustomed not to visit a cemetery when they are pregnant.[209] Those that have received such a custom are to abide by it.[210] However, it is permitted for them to visit the grave of a Tzaddik or the grave of a loved one on the day of the Yartzite and the like.[211] Many women are lenient in all cases, as is the letter of the law.[212]

The wife of a Kohen: It is permitted for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to enter a cemetery.[213] Nonetheless, some Poskim[214] rule it is proper to be stringent not to do so [even on a Yartzite or by Kivrei Tzaddikim]. This especially applies if she knows that the gender of the child is male[215] or she is at the end of her term and is ready for birth.[216] Nevertheless, even in such a case, most Poskim[217] rule it is allowed from the letter of the law.

K. Taharah for a corpse:[218]

A pregnant woman should not perform the Taharah on a corpse, even though there is no Halachic prohibition for her to do so.[219]

L. Levaya:[220]

From the letter of the law, it is permitted for a pregnant woman to enter a cemetery and attend a Levaya.[221] However, many women are accustomed not to visit a cemetery or attend a Levaya when they are pregnant.[222] Those who have received such a custom are to abide by it.[223] Many women are lenient in all cases, as is the letter of the law.[224] This especially applies if they will be a distance of four Amos from the deceased, and will not be under the same roof.[225]

The wife of a Kohen: See J!

M. Doing ultrasounds/sonograms during pregnancy:[226]

There is no Halachic impediment that exists against performing an ultrasound and having a sonogram taken. Nonetheless, doing so at times broaches the subject of Jewish ethics, as well as poses a possible health concern, due to exposure to the waves. Ultrasounds, or the resultant sonograms, are done during pregnancy for various reasons, including: 1) Routine checkup on the health of the child and to monitor the size and growth of the child; 2) To monitor the health of the birthing mother. 3) To determine the gender of the child; 4) To determine the due date.

The medical concerns involved in ultrasounds-Not to perform unnecessarily: An ultrasound transmits high-frequency sound waves through the uterus that bounce off the baby. While there is no current medical evidence which supports the idea that ultrasounds can have a negative effect on the health of the child, nonetheless, it is advised to avoid doing them unnecessarily. This was the Rebbe’s philosophy and the advice that he gave others.[227] This is likewise the advice given by the ACOG [American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists] “Currently, there is no reliable evidence that ultrasound is harmful to a developing fetus. No links have been found between ultrasound and birth defects, childhood cancer, or developmental problems later in life. However, it is possible that effects could be identified in the future. For this reason, it is recommended that ultrasound exams be performed only for medical reasons by qualified health care providers.” Accordingly, women should avoid doing ultrasounds simply for the fun of it, to enjoy viewing the baby. An additional reason for avoiding ultrasounds is that at times the ultrasound produces sonograms which are falsely read by the Doctor or technician, and cause the parents unnecessary worry or fear of an impending medical issue, which is later proven to be non-existent.

For routine checkup: Medical practitioners offer routine ultrasound checkups to verify the general health and size of the child, as well as the condition of the mother for giving birth. This is usually done during the second trimester, between weeks 18-23.[228] In general, the Rebbe is quoted to have been against routine ultrasound checkups, even if it is done to negate any medical issues, so long as there is no reason to suspect that those issues exist.[229] According to Rabbi Groner, the Rebbe’s secretary, the Rebbe only agreed to the performance of an ultrasound if it was medically necessary and specific action can be taken as a result. Likewise, the Rebbe made the matter contingent on confirmation of a second medical opinion, that in truth the ultrasound is necessary. This is due to the possible medical consequences that the waves can have on the unborn child. In addition, ultrasounds at times produce sonograms which are falsely read by the Doctor or technician, as explained above. On the other hand, regarding the routine checkup which is customarily performed in the second trimester [between weeks 18-23] the Rebbe is quoted to have responded that if a woman desires it to be done, then she may do so.[230]

Due to actual medical concern: When an ultrasound is advised by a medical practitioner for the sake of checking the health of the mother or child due to an active medical issue, then the medical advice is to be followed. The Rebbe did not negate having in ultrasound performed under these circumstances, and on the contrary encouraged it.[231]

To verify irreversible defects for purposes of abortion:[232] It is common for medical practitioners to perform an ultrasound for the sake of discovering if there are any birth defects in the child which are irreversible, and thus advise the mother of the option to perform an abortion. According to most Poskim, abortions may only be performed if the pregnancy poses a threat to the mother’s life, and hence one is not to perform such checks without first discussing the matter with a Rav.

To verify the gender of the fetus: There is no Halachic issue involved with performing ultrasounds for the sake of discovering the gender of the child, although this certainly would fall under the unnecessary ultrasounds which are discouraged from a medical perspective. In addition, some[233] sources suggest that one is to leave the gender of the child unknown.

N. Internal examinations:[234]

In general, the standard internal examinations done during pregnancy are medically unnecessary and are only done for reasons of extra precaution. Accordingly, one should abstain from doing such examinations, without offending the feelings of their doctor, unless there is an actual medical necessity. This only applies during the actual pregnancy, however before and after the pregnancy there is no need to abstain from having an internal examination performed.[235] Regarding the Nida laws applicable upon having an internal exam, see Chapter 3!

O. May one buy items for a child before he is born?

It is permitted to purchase items for the future child prior to birth.[236] Nevertheless, some have the custom to abstain from doing so due to Ayin Hara.[237] One who did not receive this tradition, is not required to follow this custom, and may choose to buy items and ignore the Ayin Hara.[238] However, those who received this tradition, are to try to abide by it.[239] Some are accustomed to have another person buy the item for them.[240] Others are accustomed to pick out the item, and only pay for it after the birth.

 

P. Day 90 of pregnancy:[241]

It is forbidden to have intercourse on day 90 of pregnancy, due to danger to the fetus as it can cause miscarriage.[242] Nonetheless, in today’s times, one is not required to be stringent in this matter, and Shomer Pesaim Hashem.[243] [However, according to Kabbalah, this stringency applies even today.[244] Accordingly, some Poskim[245] conclude that it is proper to be stringent even today to avoid intercourse on the 90th day from her last Mikveh night, during pregnancy. However, there is no obligation to specifically calculate the 90th day and only if one happens to know it, is it proper to abstain.]

 

Q. Kvaterin by Bris and Shushvinin by wedding:[246]

Bris Mila: It is customary in many communities[247] for a pregnant woman not to be a Kvaterin by a Bris Mila.[248] However, some Poskim[249] rule that this only applies if her pregnancy is recognizable.

Wedding-Shushvinim; Unterefririn:[250] It is customary in many communities for a pregnant woman not to be the escort of the bride or groom, known as the Unterefririn, by a wedding. This is due to the same reasons as for why a pregnant woman should not be the Kevatrin by a Bris. Some, however, disregard this custom.[251] There is no clear Chabad custom in this matter, and hence the Rebbe’s final directive in this matter is as follows:[252] If the mother of the groom or bride is pregnant, then another couple is to join them [the father and pregnant mother of the groom or bride] in escorting the groom or bride and in encircling the bride, and in G-d’s eyes it is known who is the true escort. However, to instruct them not to escort the bride or groom because she is pregnant would be a great source of pain for the parents, and hence she should do as above.

R. Dogs:[253]

A pregnant woman is to avoid a situation that can lead to sudden fright, such as passing by a dog who may bark and cause her to feel threatened and frightened.

 

S. Regretting a pregnancy:[254]

Expressions of regret on a pregnancy while pregnant can lead to a miscarriage G-d forbid. This applies whether the father or mother regrets the pregnancy, and certainly if both regret it.

8. A pregnant woman who craves after a food:[255]

If a pregnant woman smells a certain food and craves after it, it is possible for her to miscarry if she is not given this food to eat. The reason for this is because also the fetus has smelled the scent of this food and craves after it and if she doesn’t eat it, it is possible that the fetus will try to exit the womb in order to eat it. This will endanger the life of both the mother and fetus. For this reason, she may be given to eat the food even on Yom Kippur, if necessary to calm down her craving and explaining to her that it is Yom Kippur does not suffice. Likewise, she may even be given non-Kosher food to eat if she smells it and craves after it, and not giving her to eat the food can cause her life or the life of her fetus to be in danger, and there is no other way of calming her down, and explaining to her that the food is not Kosher does not suffice.[256]

Not to pass by and smell non-Kosher food:[257] Due to the above, it is extremely important for a pregnant woman to be very careful not to pass by non-Kosher food that has a good scent in order so she does not crave after it and need to eat it in order to calm down her craving to save the life of herself and her fetus.

Not to offer or mention unavailable foods:[258] Likewise, due to the above reason one should not show or mention to a pregnant woman a food that is not available for her to eat, in order so she does not crave after it and G-d forbid cause her to miscarry.

The story of the mother of Elisha Ben Avuyah:[259] Some opinion state that the reason that the great and famous Sage Elisha Ben Avuyah became a heretic is due to the following reason: When his mother was pregnant with him, she once passed by a house of idolatry and smelled the forbidden foods and the smell of these foods settled in her stomach like the poison of a snake.

9. Intimacy during pregnancy:[260]

A. Onah-The frequency:

The minimum obligation of Onah [i.e. twice a week] applies even when one’s wife is pregnant or nursing.[261] [Nonetheless, if the husband is not interested, and his wife is not particular and forgives him, then it is permitted for him to skip the times of Onah. However, if she does not forgive him, then he must fulfill it.[262] Likewise, those times of intimacy which are auspicious to bringing new souls into the world, may not be skipped even if his wife forgives him.[263]]

B. The first trimester:[264]

During the first three months [90 days] of pregnancy, [possibly a,[265] and certainly excessive[266]] intercourse is difficult for both wife and child.[267] [During this time, the wife commonly experiences bouts of nausea, cramps, morning sickness, exhaustion, and other ailments which can affect her interest in intimacy. Likewise, some say that intercourse during this time can lead to miscarriage.[268] Thus, the husband is to try to balance his requests for intimacy during this time in accordance with his wife’s physical capability, and his actual needs.[269] Nevertheless, in general, the nature of people from the times of the Talmud versus today has changed, and hence, the above Talmudic health warning may no longer be applicable today neither to wife nor baby.[270] Indeed, according to modern medicine today, some doctors claim, and so is the accepted position of medical information websites, that there is no known health risk, or extra risk of miscarriage, to have intimacy during a regular pregnancy [not high risk], including the first three months.[271] However, other doctors say that indeed a health risk, and danger of miscarriage, does exist and that therefore the couple is to diminish in intercourse during the first trimester, and try to have it only once a week, or halve their normal frequency.[272] An article in the British Journal of General Practice[273] gives an overview of the different medical opinions,[274] and in conclusion it can be said that not enough study or data exists either way to give a conclusive directive on the question of whether intercourse during the first trimester can raise the risks of miscarriage. In a case of doubt, the couple should discuss the matter with a doctor who can advise on their personal situation.[275] Whatever the case, the couple should not diminish from the minimum Onah obligations unless they both agree to do so, or there is evident medical reason for it, such as a high risk pregnancy.[276]]

C. The 2nd-3rd trimester:[277]

Intercourse in the last six months of pregnancy is beneficial for the child, and helps him come out further developed and enhances his appearance. [It helps the child be strong and beautiful.[278] However, in the second trimester, the Talmud states that intercourse is [medically[279]] difficult for the wife even though it is beneficial for the child.[280] In the third trimester, the Talmud states that it is [medically] beneficial for both wife and child.[281] Regarding the current medical perspective, there is no clear medical position regarding the second trimester, although regarding the third trimester there is agreement that it is beneficial.[282] However, some write that since intercourse during this time can bring on early labor, therefore a woman who suffers from early births is advised not to have intercourse in the last months.[283] Practically, the couple is to consult with their doctor for their personal situation.[284]]

Day 90 of pregnancy: It is forbidden to have intercourse on day 90 of the pregnancy, due to danger to the fetus as it can cause miscarriage. Nonetheless, in today’s times, one is not required to be stringent in this matter, and Shomer Pesa’im Hashem. [However, according to Kabbalah, this stringency applies even today. Accordingly, some Poskim conclude that it is proper to be stringent, even today, to avoid intercourse on the 90th day from her last Mikveh night, during pregnancy.] See 7P for the full details of this subject!

Saying Lamnatzei’ach: See 3B!

D. Loss of interest during pregnancy:

Loss of interest by the wife: See in the above Halacha regarding the loss of interest during the first trimester, and the same may apply during the third trimester. Every woman and situation is different. Thus, the husband is to try to balance his requests for intimacy during this time in accordance with his wife’s physical capability and his actual needs.

Loss of interest by the husband: Occasionally, it is specifically the husband who loses interest for intimacy while his wife is pregnant. This may be due to a variety of reasons, but whatever the case, he remains Biblically obligated in his minimum Onah obligations towards her, irrelevant of his disinterest, as explained in our Sefer Kedushas Habayis Halacha 1A. See there for the full details of this matter!

E. High-risk pregnancies:[285]

Certain high-risk pregnancies, especially if they require bedrest, carry doctors’ orders for the couple to avoid intimacy for a prolonged period throughout the pregnancy. It is advised for one to seek council with a Frum gynecologist and Rav in the event that such orders have been given, and see if there are any ways that intimacy can continue during this period.

F. Thoughts of sanctification:

See our corresponding Sefer “Kedushas Habayis” Chapter 7 Halacha 2 for the full details of this subject!

The importance of having holy intentions during intimacy and its effect on one’s future children:[286] Sanctification of one’s thoughts is of utmost importance during intimacy as it has a tremendous effect on the children.

How to sanctify:[287] During intimacy, one is to try not to focus on his pleasure, but rather on the below mentioned intents:

1. Try to focus the mind not [only[288]] on the physical pleasure, but rather [also] on fulfilling the command of G-d to procreate and to fulfill the Mitzvah of Onah, to make one’s wife feel loved and pleasured.
2. If one’s wife can become pregnant from the intimacy, then one should also intend that the children should grow up to be righteous individuals.

3. For the benefit of the child:[289] During the intercourse that takes place within the last six months of pregnancy, he is to intend to enhance the features of the child, as the intercourse of the last six months is beneficial for the child to come out further developed. If one has intercourse for this reason alone, it suffices.

G. Once the wife has conceived, can sanctification, or lack thereof, influence the child?[290]

Yes. Even during pregnancy, sanctification during intimacy can affect the soul of the child, and the same applies if the couple does not sanctify themselves, that it can affect the child negatively.

H. Every union creates new souls:[291]

Every marital union between a husband and wife which takes place in a form of holiness creates a Jewish soul. [If, however, the intimacy is not one of a definite Mitzvah, such as one is not doing it for the Mitzvah of Onah but for pure lust, then no souls are born of this union.[292]] This soul may enter the body of another child who is born, such as a convert, if that woman does not become pregnant with the soul that they created. It is for this reason that marital unity is permitted between a husband and wife even during times that she cannot conceive, such as during pregnancy, or after menopause, and is not considered to be Zera Levatala. Accordingly, the Zohar explains that although Sarah was physically barren, she merited to have many spiritual children.

10. Shabbos:[293]

*For birth on Shabbos, see Chapter 6!

 A. Pregnant women taking vitamins on Shabbos:[294]

A pregnant woman may take vitamins on Shabbos, although it is best if possible, to push this off to before or after Shabbos.

B. May a pregnant woman eat or drink after candle lighting?

Some Poskim[295] rule it is permitted to eat or drink after candle lighting until Tzeis Hakochavim. Other Poskim[296] rule it is forbidden to eat or drink anything after candle lighting. Nonetheless, if one is very thirsty, and is afraid to delay lighting candles until after she drinks, she may stipulate upon lighting the candles that she will not accept Shabbos with the lighting. In such a case, she may drink after lighting candles and is to then accept Shabbos within ten minutes from the lighting. If she did not make the above stipulation, some Poskim[297] rule that in a time of need [such as a pregnant or nursing or ill or old person] she may nevertheless drink after candle lighting, up until sunset.[298] Nonetheless, if possible, it is better for one to make Kiddush after candle lighting and then eat and drink to one’s content according to all opinions, rather than rely on the above ruling.[299]

C. Bleeding during pregnancy:[300]

While light bleeding can be viewed as normal during pregnancy, and does not deem a woman a Nida if found on a colored garment or is less than a Gris in size, heavy bleeding can deem a woman a Nida, and could be a worry of a miscarriage. In such a case, one is to immediately contact a doctor even on Shabbos.

11. Fasting:

A. Tzom Gedalia, Asara Beteves, 17th Tamuz:[301]

Pregnant[302] women are exempt from fasting.[303] This applies even if they do not experience pain in fasting, nevertheless, they are not obligated to fast.[304] Nevertheless, the custom of pregnant women is to be stringent to fast[305], unless they experience great pain [or feel weak[306]] in which case they are not to fast.[307] They are likewise not required to make up the fast at a later date.[308] [Practically, the widespread custom today is that pregnant women do not fast any of the fasts other than Tisha B’av and Yom Kippur, as they are all considered weak and in pain.[309] They are also not required to make up the fast at a later date.[310]]

May a pregnant woman eat like a normal day?[311] Although pregnant women are exempt from fasting, nevertheless, it is proper for them not to eat with intent to have pleasure from food and drink, but rather simply for the sake of the child.[312] [Accordingly, they are to avoid eating meat and drinking wine, unless they are weak and need it for their strength.[313]]

Q&A From what stage in pregnancy is a pregnant woman exempt from fasting?[314] A pregnant woman who is in pain[315] is exempt from fasting starting from the 41st day of her pregnancy. If she feels weak or in great pain, then she may be lenient even prior to 40 days. If she does not feel weak or any pain at all then she is required to fast if she has not yet entered her second trimester.   Must a pregnant woman try to fast for a few hours in the morning prior to breaking their fast?[316] No. They may eat immediately in the morning.

B. Tishe Beav:[317]

A pregnant woman must fast on Tisha B’av just like on Yom Kippur. [If, however, a pregnant woman feels weak and will become sick due to the fast, she is not to fast.[318] If a pregnant woman begins to feel dizzy or begins to experience labor [i.e. contractions] or low/high blood pressure, she is to break her fast.[319] Certainly, if she feels sick and needs to lay in bed, she is to break her fast.[320] Some Poskim[321] are lenient for all pregnant women who are prior to their due date, to not fast if it is very difficult due to the hot weather. Furthermore, some Poskim[322] are lenient in all cases, that a pregnant woman prior to her due date is not to fast, due to fear of miscarriage. Practically, such a woman is to contact a Rav for a final ruling.]

The extra leniency by Tishe Beav Nidcheh:[323] A pregnant woman may break her fast if she feels even slightly sick [or weak].[324] [This applies even absent of the other reasons for exempting a pregnant woman from fasting, as explained above.] 

 

Q&A If a pregnant woman began to have contractions, is she to break her fast? From beginning of pregnancy[325] up to end of 9th month:[326] If a pregnant woman who is before the conclusion of her 9th month feels contractions that can lead to miscarriage or early birth, or if she feels pressure to push out the baby, then she is to eat and drink any amount of food until her body calms down. After 9th month:[327] A pregnant woman who has completed her 9th month [past week 37 from conception[328]] is not to break her fast unless she has entered into active labor to the point she cannot walk, is on the birthing stool, or has broken her waters, just as is the law regarding transgressing Shabbos. When she reaches this point, she may eat regularly.[329] However, prior to reaching this state, she is not to eat or drink, unless she feels sick or bedridden.[330]   When exempt from fasting, as stated above, must one nevertheless try to fast as many hours as possible? Some Poskim[331] rule that one who is exempt from fasting should at the very least fast for a few hours, if it is not too difficult. Practically, the final Rabbinic directive is that one who is exempt from fasting may eat immediately in the morning.[332] Nevertheless, if possible, one is try to fast at night, until the morning.[333] When Tisha B’av falls on Motzei Shabbos, if one is able to fast until the morning, Havdala is not to be recited until the next day.[334]   Must one who needs to eat or drink only take the minimal measurements “Shiurim” as required on Yom Kippur? Some Poskim[335] rule one is required to follow the same eating and drinking measurements “Shiurim” prescribed on Yom Kippur. Other Poskim[336] however rule it is not necessary. Practically, the custom is not to follow the former opinion, and hence one who is permitted to eat or drink may do so without limitation.[337]   If one is medically required to drink, must he nevertheless abstain from eating foods? Some Poskim[338] rule that a sick person is only allowed to eat and drink in accordance to his medical need, to give him strength, but not any further. Thus, if one is medically required to drink but is not required to eat, then although he may drink, he is nevertheless to abstain from eating foods. The same applies to any sick person, that if he is able to suffice with drinking alone, then he is not to eat, and if he is able to suffice with one meal then he is not to eat any more. However, from other Poskim[339] it is evident that a sick person is completely exempt from the fast.   If one is medically required to eat only at night, is she to fast by the daytime of Tisha B’av?[340] Yes.   When Tisha B’av falls on Sunday, must one who is not fasting say Havdala prior to eating? Yes.[341] This includes men and women. What is the Seder of Havdala in such a case? One omits the verses of “Hinei Keil Yeshuasi”[342], and rather begins from the blessing of Hagafen or Shehakol [depending on his beverage]. The blessing of Besamim is omitted. If this Havdala is being recited on Sunday, the blessing of Haeish is likewise omitted, and is to be said the night before. Is wine to be used or Chamer Medina? Some Poskim[343] rule one is to use wine or grape juice. Others[344] rule one is only to use Chamer Medina, such as tea or coffee. If there is a child available who has not reached the age of Chinuch for mourning but is past the age of Chinuch for blessings, one may say Havdala over wine and give him to drink.[345]   Question: Should I eat the Seudas Hamfsekes even if I will not be fasting?   Answer: Yes, you should nevertheless eat a Seudas Hamafsekes and partake in all its regulations and customs. Sources: See Shevet Halevi 10:83; Halichos Shlomo 15:2; Halichos Vehanhagos p. 13; Or Letziyon 28 footnote 1; Toras Hayoledes 48 footnote 18; Nitei Gavriel 51 footnote 6

C. Yom Kippur:[346]

A pregnant woman must fast on Yom Kippur for the entire day [just like any other person]. [There is no allowance for her to eat or drink less than the Shiur, unless it is a case of danger, as will be explained. This applies even in today’s times.[347] If a woman fears she may have a miscarriage due to the fast, she is to speak with her doctor and with a competent Rav. The Rav is to review her miscarriage history[348], and take note of any warnings from her doctor.[349] If a doctor told the woman it is forbidden for her to fast due to fear of miscarriage, she is to verify with the doctor whether eating and drinking less than the Shiur will suffice to prevent danger. Likewise, she is to verify whether she could fast if she remains in bed for the entire duration of the fast.]

A pregnant woman who craves after a food:[350] If a pregnant woman smells a certain food and craves after it, it is possible for her to miscarry if she is not given this food to eat, which can endanger her life as well.[351] Thus, if necessary to calm down her craving, and explaining to her that it is Yom Kippur does not suffice, then she may be given to eat the food even on Yom Kippur if necessary to remove her and her fetus from danger. Likewise, she may even be given non-Kosher food to eat if she smells it and craves after it, and not giving her to eat the food can cause her life or the life of her fetus to be in danger, and there is no other way of calming her down, and explaining to her that the food is not Kosher does not suffice.[352]

Q&A

When may a pregnant woman break her fast?

In general, and absent of medical directive, if a pregnant woman begins to feel dizzy or begins to experience labor [i.e. contractions, as explained in the next Q&A] or low/high blood pressure, or stops feeling the baby’s heartbeat[353], she is to break her fast in accordance to the Shiurim, as explained below.

 

If a pregnant woman began to have contractions, is she to break her fast?[354]

The following is the general Rabbinical directive, in cases that a doctor has not directed otherwise: 

From beginning of pregnancy[355] up to 9th month:[356] If a pregnant woman prior to the completion of her 9th month [before week 37 from conception[357]], feels contractions that can lead to miscarriage or early birth, or feels pressure to push out the baby, then she is to eat in accordance to the Shiurim dictated below. If eating the Shiurim does not suffice, she may eat and drink any amount of food until her body calms down.

After the 9th month:[358] A pregnant woman who has completed her 9th month [past week 37 from conception[359]] is not allowed to break her fast unless she has entered into active labor to the point she cannot walk, is on the birthing stool, or has broken her waters, just as is the law regarding transgressing Shabbos. When she reaches this point, she may eat regularly.[360] However, prior to reaching this state, she may not eat or drink even less than the Shiur, even if she feels contractions and is in the midst of labor[361], unless a doctor directs her to do so due to fear for her life or the life of the child.

Practical list of Shiurim for food and drink for a pregnant woman:[362]

Food:[363] A pregnant woman who may eat less than the Shiur, is to eat less than the size of a Kusebes, which is less than 30 cc and less than 30 grams, within the amount of time it takes to eat a Peras of bread, which is nine minutes: The food is measured based on volume and[364] weight.[365] Hence, the Shiur is [less than[366]] the amount of food to fill 30 cc in a measuring cup [or typical match box], and this amount itself is not to weigh more than 30 grams.[367] One is not to eat more than this amount of food within nine minutes.

Drink: A pregnant woman who may drink less than the Shiur, is to drink within nine minutes less than the amount of water that can fill one cheek [i.e. Malei Lugmav]. Hence, before Yom Kippur, she is to fill a single cheek with water, pour it into a cup, and mark the water level on the cup.[368] [In general, for the average person who does not have a small mouth, this amounts to less than 42cc.[369]] When there is Halachic need to drink based on the Shiurim, one is to drink less than this marked amount of liquid within every 9 minutes. One is not to drink the exact amount marked, as this is the Shiur Kareis for liquid.

Eating and drinking within the nine minutes: All foods join each other to make up the minimum measurement of 30cc, and all liquids join each other to make up the minimum measurement of Malei Lugmav for Kareis liability. Nevertheless, foods and liquids do not join each other. [See above Halacha 4D] Accordingly, a woman may both eat and drink less than the Shiur of eating and drinking within the 9 minutes as they do not join each other, and there is no need to take turns between eating and drinking every 9 minutes. 

The amount of time to eat the Shiurim:

All the food and liquid that one consumes within nine minutes is counted as part of the Shiur. Meaning, that one should make sure not to eat more than the Shiur of liquid or food within nine minutes, and hence the shiur restarts every nine minutes after completing eating or drinking less than the Shiur.[370] If nine minutes is too long of an interval, one may go down to 8, 7.5, 6, 5, 4.5,4 minutes, as is medically necessary.[371]

Preparing the Shiurim before Yom Kippur:[372]

A pregnant woman is to prepare the Shiurim before Yom Kippur. She is to fill one cheek with water and place it into a cup and then mark the water level.[373] Alternatively, she is to fill both cheeks with water and measure half of that amount.[374]

How to measure the food:

One is to crumble the food and enter it into an area which holds 30cc, which is the common size of a match box.

May one take medicine on Yom Kippur?[375]

One who is currently sick: If one is bedridden, or feels ill/weak in his entire body, then he may swallow a tasteless or bitter pill [without water, as will be explained].[376] If the pill has a non-bitter taste, then he is to wrap it in precut tissue [as one may not cut it on Shabbos or Yom Kippur] and swallow it with the tissue.[377] This allowance applies even if the illness does not involve danger. If, however, one is not bedridden, and does not feel ill in his entire body, then he may not take medication, even if he is in pain or is suffering from a headache and the like.[378]

One who is not currently sick but suffers from a medical condition: Those who are not sick but suffer from a medical condition which requires a daily dose of medication, are to verify with their doctor if they can fast, and skip the dose on Yom Kippur, without any health risks involved. In the event that the doctor states that skipping the medicine can lead to medical complications that can lead to a life-threatening situation, then he must take the pill even on Yom Kippur.[379] If swallowing the pill in one of the above-mentioned methods is not possible, one may swallow it with water.[380] [Likewise, if skipping a dose can lead to illness, even non-life threatening, then one may take it on Yom Kippur, although without water, as explained below.[381]]

How to take the pill: One who is permitted to take a pill on Yom Kippur, as stated above, must swallow the pill plain, without water, and if the pill has a non-bitter taste, he is to swallow it in a precut piece of tissue. He may not swallow the pill with water, unless the illness poses a danger of life and he cannot manage to swallow it without the water.[382] Alternatively, some Poskim[383] suggest that before Yom Kippur, one can crush the bitter pill into powder, add it to the water, and then drink the bitter mixture. This applies even if one illness does not pose any danger of life.

12. Yom Kippur:

A. Kaparos:[384]

For a pregnant woman one is to take and slaughter one female chicken on her behalf, and one female and male chicken on behalf of the fetus whose gender is in question.[385] [Thus, in total, a pregnant woman takes three chickens, two females and one male. However, if one is unable to afford buying three chickens, then one male and one female chicken may be used.[386]]

Q&A How many chickens is a woman to take if she is pregnant with twins?[387] It requires further analyses whether she is to suffice with three chickens as any pregnant woman or is to take five chickens.[388] Some Poskim[389] however conclude that she is to take 5 chickens.   If a woman gave birth after Kaparos but before Yom Kippur, should Kaparos be redone on the baby? This matter requires further analyses.[390] However, some Poskim[391] conclude that she is not required to repeat the Kaparos on the infant. If an ultrasound revealed the gender of the fetus, how many chickens are to be used? Some Poskim[392] rule that one may follow the ultrasound and use a chicken of the projected gender. Others[393] rule that one should not rely on it.   Must a pregnant woman prior to 40 days of conception use 3 chickens?[394] No.

B. Bathing in hot water:[395]

It is permitted for a woman to bathe in hot water for the purpose of lessening her pain during birth even during the nine days.

13. Purim-Giving the half Shekel donation on behalf of the fetus?[396]

Some Poskim[397] rule that only [men] over the age of twenty are obligated to give the half Shekel, while those under twenty are exempt. Others[398] however rule that all boys over the age of Bar Mitzvah are obligated. It is likewise disputed amongst Poskim whether womenare obligated to give the half shekel.[399] Practically the custom is for the father of the house to give three half coins on behalf of each member of his family, including his [wife[400] and] small children[401] [both male and female[402]], including even on behalf of the fetus of a pregnant woman.[403]

14. Bein Hametzarim-Tishe Beav:

A. Eating meat:

If a pregnant woman feels weak or sick she may be lenient to eat meat during the nine days.[404] [However, this only applies if other foods cannot supplement the benefits received in eating meat.] Nevertheless, the custom is to be stringent beginning from the 7th of Av[405], unless she feels a strong need for it.[406] Practically, this matter of pregnant women eating meat during the nine days is to be given to the discretion of a Rav in order so people don’t come to belittle the matter.[407]

B. Bathing in hot water:[408]

It is permitted for a pregnant woman to bathe in hot water during the nine days for medical purposes.[409]

C. Diminishing comfort when sleeping:[410]

A pregnant woman for whom it is difficult to have discomfort in her sleep, is not required to abide by any of the traditional customs of diminishing in comfort of sleep on Tishe Beav night [i.e. stone under head, sleep on floor, sleep without a pillow, etc] and hence sleep on his bed as usual.

D. May a pregnant woman sit on a chair on Tishe Beav if it is difficult for her to sit on the floor?[411]

Yes.[412]

E. Fasting:

See Halacha 11B!

 

15. Immersing in a Mikveh in 9th month:[413]

Some women are accustomed to immerse in the Mikveh in the nine month of pregnancy.[414] No blessing is said upon this immersion. For this purpose, she may immerse even during daytime. She does not need to abide by the various laws and stringency’s associated with immersing for the state of Nidah such as Chafifa and the like prior to immersion.[415] Practically, the Chabad custom is not to be particular to immerse in the ninth month. Nonetheless, those who have such a custom in their family are not to abstain from honoring it, so long as they receive the go-ahead from their doctor.[416] However, one should not immerse for this purpose during the nine days.[417]

16. Bathing in hot water:[418]

Bathing in hot water during the ninth month can help in lessening the pain during birth.

During the nine days: See Halacha 14B!

17. Pregnant woman getting married:[419]

The Sages decreed that a divorcee or widow who is pregnant or within 24 months from after birth, must wait until the baby is 24 months old in order to remarry.[420] This applies even if she is no longer nursing her child. The 24 months is counted beginning from the day of birth of the child. After 24 months she may remarry.[421] If there is a double Adar within these 24 months, she is to initially be stringent and not consider it as part of the 24 months, and hence wait a total of 25 months.[422] The above law however carries the following exceptions, in which case she must only wait 90 days, as is the law by any other widow or divorcee:

1. If the child passed away she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death of her husband.
2. If the child was weaned before the divorce or death, she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death.
3. If her milk dried up before the divorce or death, she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death.

_____________________________________

[1] See Toras Hayoledes 60; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Erech Hirayon

[2] Tur Y.D. 305

[3] Bach Y.D. 305

[4] See Nidda 30b; Iyun Yaakov ibid; Likkutei Torah Parshas Vayikra 3a; Shelach 44a; Shir Hashirim 8:4; Likkutei Sichos 5:13; Maharal in Gevuros Hashem 28; Noam Elimelech Likkutei Shoshana; Bnei Yissachar Sivan 1

[5] Nida 30b “Rebbe Simlaiy expounded that the fetus….and a candle is lit on its head through which he can see from one end of the world to the other as the verse [Iyov 29:3] states “Behalo Neiro Alei Roshi Leoro Eilech Choshech” and do not be surprised about this, as when a person is sleeping he can dream of things in [the far away city of] Aspamya, and there are no days that are as good for man as these days [that he is in his mother’s womb], as the verse [Iyov 29:2] states “Mi Yitineini Keyarchei Kedem, Kimei Elokah Yishmireini”.. And they teach him all of the Torah as the verse [Mishlei 4:4] states “Vayoreini Vayomer Li Yitmecha Divrei Libecha, Shemor Mitzvosaiy Vachaya” and it also states [Iyov 29:4] “Kasher Hayisi Bimei Charfi Besod Elokjah Alaiy Ahali.” Now, as soon as he comes out into the air of the world an angel comes and slaps him on his mouth and causes him to forget the entire Torah as the verse [Bereishis 4:7] states “Lipesach Chatas Roveitz.”

[6] The groove above the lip: It does not state in the Talmud that the angel hits him under the nose, on top of the lips, and that this hit is what is responsible for the groove that is under the nose on top of the lips [known as the philtrum]. I am not aware of any source for this aspect of the saying and I do not believe that it is true, as a) even Gentiles [who are prohibited from learning Torah and certainly do not learn the entire Torah in the mother’s womb-see Likkutei Sichos 5:13] have this groove, and b) as we will now explain, the above statement is not literal, and refers to the soul of the child not to his actual body within his mother’s womb.

[7] Admur in Likkutei Torah Parshas Vayikra 3a and in greater detail in Parshas Shelach p.44; This is likewise written in the works of the Maharal that the Torah is only taught to the soul of the child which is in heaven.

[8] From this statement we can understand two things: 1) That the Talmudic statement is not literal that the fetus in the mother’s womb has great intellectual capabilities, including the ability to communicate in a language, in order so he is able to learn and comprehend the information he is taught by his mystical angelic teacher who teaches him the entire Torah while he is physically in the womb. Rather, the intent is spiritual, and refers to the soul of the child while it is still in heaven, as in truth the body of the fetus contain zero intellectual capabilities at all and cannot communicate through any language. 2) That although the angel comes along prior to birth and makes the soul the child forget all of his Torah learning, nevertheless, this later on gives the child the potential to re-shine within him the light of Torah. This answers the question of why at all the soul of the child is taught the entire Torah, if in any event the angel will make him forget it prior to birth. To understand this matter a little deeper, the same way that a child goes through a gestation period from the time of conception until birth which forms and develops the body of the child, the same applies regarding the child’s soul up in heaven, that it too goes through a gestation period to help develop its soul characters. Thus, also the soul of the child goes through a state of pregnancy and gestation, and it is this part of the child that Rebbe Simlaiy referred to in all of his magnificent statements.

[9] Implication of Admur in Likkutei Torah Shir Hashirim; So is similarly written in Eitz Yosef, that the learning in the mother’s womb helps the child learn Torah later on in his life, and come to a true understanding of Torah, and the reason that he is made to forget the Torah is so he has freedom of choice and be required to exert effort in his learning. The Rebbe mentions a similar answer in Likkutei Sichos.

[10] Keser Shem Tov Hosafos p. 348 [121]; Hatamim 2:76 [85b]; Reshimos of Rebbe Rayataz

[11] Niddah 31a

[12] Torah Or Bereishis p. 8 “From the father comes one drop which includes the son’s entire body”; Parshas Toldos p. 34; Torah Or Shemos p. 107, 108

[13] Torah Or Parshas Toldos p. 34

[14] Torah Or Bereishis p. 8, 11; Shemos p. 108; Terumah 159

[15] Torah Or Shemos 1^st Mamar p. 9; Likkutei Torah Chukas p. 126 that so is written in Sifrei Refua; Shir Hashirim p. 9

[16] Torah Or Shemos 1^st Mamar p. 9; Likkutei Torah Chukas p. 126; Shir Hashirim p. 9

[17] Likkutei Torah Chukas p. 126; Shir Hashirim p. 9

[18] Basal Body temperature of the female also plays a role.  A woman’s temperature will drop just before ovulation.  “If a couple plans to have a boy, the best time for copulation is within the fertile window so that the Y chromosome can reach the egg before the X chromosome. On the contrary, a baby girl can be made by having intercourse one to two days prior to a woman’s fertile window that would allow the X chromosome to reach the egg first.”

[19] Brachos 60a; Niddah 31a; Midrash Raba Tazria 14

[20] Bava Basra 108; Bava Kama 110a; See Menoras Hamaro Ner Gimel Kelal Vav 2:3

[21] Likkutei Torah of Arizal Ta’amei Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis 15; Sha’ar Hagilgulim Hakdama 10; Siddur Arizal of Rav Shabsi 2 Seder Has’chiva 42; Siddur Arizal of Rav Yaakov Kopul Mitzvah Periyah Verivya p. 112

[22] Sha’ar Hagilgulim ibid and Siddur Arizal of Rav Shabsi ibid writes that the father provides the child with an Or Makif while the mother provides the child with an Or Penimi. However, Siddur Arizal of Rav Yaakov Kopul ibid writes to the contrary that the mother provides the child with an Or Makif while the father provides the child with an Or Penimi; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya Gimel 15; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 14:7 footnote 10 in length

[23] Sha’ar Hagilgulim ibid and Siddur Arizal of Rav Shabsi ibid and Siddur Ya’avetz ibid, writes that the father provides the child with an Or Makif while the mother provides the child with an Or Penimi. However, Siddur Arizal of Rav Yaakov Kopul ibid writes to the contrary that the mother provides the child with an Or Makif while the father provides the child with an Or Penimi

[24] Ma’amarei Admur Hazakein p. 151 “Lehavin Inyan Zivug Haneshamos” in name of Mekubalim; See Sefer Ha’erechin Chabad Erech Av

[25] See Toras Menachem 12:152, and Shulchan Menachem 1:158; The Chassidishe Parsha Likkutei Sichos Parshas Vayishlach

[26] Ma’amarei Admur Hazakein p. 151 “Lehavin Inyan Zivug Haneshamos”

[27] See Shulchan Menachem 6:5; Bayis Hayehbudi p. 487; Sefer Segulas Avraham Erech Banim and Akara for a compilation of tens of Segulos from various Sefarim

[28] Igros Kodesh 8:282; 11:278; 13:383; 18:32; Mikdash Melech 3:251

[29] Igros Kodesh 14:383

[30] Igros Kodesh 11:278; 13:185, 14:107, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:21

[31] Igros Kodesh 29:30

[32] Siddur Admur; Peri Eitz Chaim Shaar Kerias Shema Sheal Hamita 11; Or Tzadikim 27:20; Siddur Yaavetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef Chulya Gimel 7:23; Kaf Hachaim 240:65

[33] Miseches Kallah, brought in Tur 240; Bava Basra 10b

[34] Igros Kodesh 14:383

[35] Likkutei Sichos 11:126; 12:178; 22:299; Igros Kodesh 11:278; 14:383; 27:427; 28:133; 29:30

[36] Igros Kodesh 28:133

[37] Igros Kodesh 29:30

[38] Igros Kodesh 7:259; 13:210; Yuma 47a; Zohar Parshas Nasso p. 239 “one who is careful in this merits to have illustrious children, and have her husband be blessed with all blessings of above and below, with wealth and grandchildren”, brought in M”A 75:4; Maharam Alshiker 35; Chasam Sofer ibid; M”B 75:14

[39] Igros Kodesh 7:259; 14:383; Yuma 47a; Zohar Parshas Nasso p. 239 “one who is careful in this merits to have illustrious children, and have her husband be blessed with all blessings of above and below, with wealth and grandchildren”, brought in M”A 75:4; Maharam Alshiker 35; Chasam Sofer ibid; M”B 75:14

[40] Likkutei Sichos 12:178; Igros Kodesh 7:259; 11:126; 13:185; 14:383; 18:32; 27:427; Mikdash Melech 3:251

[41] Igros Kodesh 13:185; 14:383; 18:32

[42] Letter of Alter Rebbe, printed in Meiah Shearim 2:32 and Ginzei Nistaros 3:61; Igros Kodesh 5:185; 14:340; Mikdash Melech 3:251

[43] Igros Kodesh 8:282; 14:401

[44] Igros Kodesh 15:389

[45] Igros Kodesh 11:126

[46] Igros Kodesh 19:333

[47] Igros Kodesh 14:383; See Michaber E.H. 2:8; Admur 444:15; Rambam Issurei Biya 21; Rebbe Yochanon Pesachim 49a; Tzemach Tzedek Even Haezer 11; Otzer Haposkim 1:2-8:44; See Shulchan Menachem E.H. 6:247

[48] Likkutei Sichos 22:299; See Yevamos 64a

[49] Igros Kodesh 29:30

[50] Igros Kodesh 11:126

[51] Igros Umaanos Michtav 15, brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:25

[52] Igros Kodesh 11:126; 18:32

[53] Igros Kodesh 11:278

[54] Igros Kodesh 11:278

[55] See Sefer Segulas Avraham Erech Akara for many more interesting [and strange] Segulos that we did not list here for one reason or another

[56] Chupas Chasanim 4

[57] Heach Nafsheinu Mareches Ayin

[58] Devek Miach; Toldos Adam; Regel Yeshara

[59] See Kaf Hachaim Y.D. 79:12; Or Torah Vol. 398:38

[60] Sefer Mareh Hayeladim Mareches Hei Os 10; Yifei Mareh p. 240; Custom recorded and negated in all Poskim brought in next footnote

The reason for its allowance: As some Poskim rule that there is no prohibition against eating human flesh. [Setimas Michaber and Tur; Raavad Machalos Assuros 2:3; Ran Kesubos 24b; Ramban Vayikra 11:3 and Chidushim Kesubos 60b; Rashba Teshuvah 1:364, 3:257 and Chidushim Kesubos 60b; Implication of Tosafus Kesubos 60a; Rosh Kesubos 5:19, although is Rabbinically forbidden to cut off body and eat in his opinion; See Taz Y.D. 79:3 in opinion of Rosh; Peri Chadash 79:6 in opinion of Michaber and Tur who omitted the prohibition, and so is his conclusion Lehalacha; See Rashbash ibid] See Machaneh Yisrael 84

[61] Shulchan Gavoa 79:7; Machaneh Yisrael 84; Rashbash 518; Machazik Bracha 79:2; Zivcheiy Tzedek 79:15; Darkei Teshuvah 79:15; Ben Ish Chaiy Emor 2:5; Kaf Hachaim 79:12; Sova Semachos [Y. Yosef] 2:8 footnote 15; 60:15; Otzer Habris Shaar 3 chapter 3:13; Sefer Rafael Hamalach; Or Torah Vol. 398:38

The reason: As a) One is required to bury the Arla in earth. [Michaber Y.D. 260:10; Tur 265; Beis Yosef 265; Pirkeiy Derebbe Eliezer 29; Targum Yonason Bamidbar 23:10; Baal Haturim Bamidbar 23:10; Zohar Lech Lecha 91a; Yireim 402; Hagahos Maimanos Mila 3:5; Rikanti 599; Rokeiach; Ittur; Hamanhig; Or Zarua; Abudarham; Rashal Yevamos 8:4; Levush 265; Shelah Chulin 91 in name of Tolas Yaakov; Tzeror Hamor Lech Lecha and Ki Seitzei; Hagahos  Maharash Vital Shaar Mamarei Chazal Shabbos 2; Sefer Bnei David Tazria 9; Nehar Afarsamon O.C. 27; Otzer Habris 3:15-22; Pesakim Uteshuvos 265:25] b) Some Poskim rule that it is Biblically forbidden to eat human flesh. [Rama 79:1; Darkei Moshe 79:2; Bach 79; Rambam Machalos Assuros 2:3; Maggid Mishneh on Rambazm ibid; Ritva Kesubos 60a; Ran Kesubos 60a; Reah, brought in Shita Mekubetzes Kesubos 60b [transgresses Biblical negative command]; Taz Y.D. 79:3; Shach Y.D. 81:3; Kneses Hagedola 79:5; Lechem Chamudos 79:1; Erech Hashulchan 79:1; Peri Toar 79:3; Karban Aron Shemini; Ben Ish Chaiy Emor 2:5; Kaf Hachaim Y.D. 79:9; and 12; Halichos Olam 6:221; Malbim Vayikra 11:4]

[62] See Menoras Hamaro Ner Gimel Kelal Vav 2:3; Sh’lah Hakadosh Shaar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 415; Shulchan Menachem 6:6; Sefer Segulas Avraham Erech Banim for a compilation of tens of Segulos from various Sefarim

[63] Midrash Raba Tazria 14

[64] Midrash Raba Mishpatim 31

[65] Shabbos 23b

[66] Shavuos 18b; Yalkut Shimoni 547; Reishis Chochma 16:2; Ramban in Igeres Hakodesh 6 “When you act in the ways that I have instructed you, I am your guarantor that you will have children who are Tzadikim, Chassidim, and sanctify the name of heaven”; Siddur Yaavetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef Chulya Gimel 7:22

[67] Bava Basra 10b; Miseches Kallah, brought in Tur 240

[68] Rebbe Chama Bar Rebbe Chanina in Brachos 5a in the name of Rebbe Yitzchak; Levush 240:17; Olas Tamid 3:6; This is based on the verse “And in the North their stomach will be filled and they will be satisfied with male offspring.” [Psalms 17:14; brought in Brachos ibid] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 240 footnote 235; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 28:1; See however Igeres Hakodesh of the Ramban Chapter 3 who interprets this statement to be not literal, as certainly the position of the bed does not affect male childbirth and rather it refers to other aspects

[69] See Admur Kama 3:9-10; Michaber 3:6; Siddur Yaavetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 4:2 Part 2; Taharas Yisrael 240:89; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmanson-2015] p. 328-334

[70] Niddah 31b and 71a, brought in M”A 240:21; Brachos 60a; Midrash Raba Tazria 14; Taz E.H. 25:1; Tur 240:8 and E.H. 25:3; Sh’lah Hakadosh Shaar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 415; Sefer Gematriyos Rebbe Yehuda Hachassid Likkutim 8; Aruch Laner Niddah 71a; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmanson-2015] p.  481; See Torah Or Toldos p. 34

[71] See wording in Niddah ibid and ibid “waiting in her stomach” and Rashi Niddah ibid who implies that the entire discussion of the Gemara is while has already penetrated her; However, see wording in Tur 240 in name of Raavad “waiting on her stomach” and Chidushei Chasam Sofer on Niddah ibid who implies that the “Mazria Techila:[climax?]” is taking place prior to penetration. Vetzaruch Iyun. See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 48 footnote 1; See Torah Lishma 504 and Ben Yehoyada Niddah 13a and Rav Poalim 1 Sod Yeshatim 9 from whom it is clear that he did not learn this Gemara to be referring to before the intercourse.

[72] Tur O.C. 240:4 and E.H. 25:8; Bach 240:4; Elya Raba 240:10; Atzei Arazim 25:1; Siddur Yaavetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kasef Chulya Gimel 7:3; Niddah 31b; Eiruvin 100b; Sh’lah Hakadosh Shaar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 416; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmanson-2015] p.  551

[73] Ezer Mikodesh E.H. 76:1 “Right away”; Implication of Rishonim in next footnote [See reason in next footnote that the entire reason for this is because the wife is still]

[74] The reason: As in such a case she is already aroused from the first intercourse and will give seed first and since her seed will precede his seed, therefore a male will be born. [Rashi Eiruvin and Niddah ibid; Rabbeinu Yehonason on Rifibid]

[75] M”A 240:14; Tur 240:4; Chesed Lealafim 240:2; Kitzur SHU”A 150:8; Eiruvin and Nedarim ibid “More righteous even than the generation of Moshe”; Eiruvin ibid “Children who are sages, as occurred from the union with Leah when she went to entice Yaakov and had Yissachar”; See also Bava Basra 10b and Rabbeinu Gershom there regarding having male children when he rejoices her outside of her Onah; See Meiri Eiruvin 100b that this only applies if she intends to do so for the sake of a Mitzvah, such as having children, as was the intent of Leah;

[76] Sefer Zechira

[77] Igros Kodesh 7:51

[78] Igros Kodesh 7:51

[79] Igros Kodesh 19:333

[80] Igeres Hakodesh of Ramban Chapters 5; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:2-3 and 6:4; Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 6:9-11 and Chulya Gimel 16; Igros Kodesh 12:424

[81] Reishis Chochma 16:4 and 16:11 based on Zohar Shemos 11a and Kedoshim 80a; See Kaf Hachaim 240:21; Sefer Habris 1 Ma’amar 17:2

[82] Tanya end of Chapter 2; Likkutei Torah of Arizal Ta’amei Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis 15; Sha’ar Hamitzvos Yisro Mitzvas Kibbud Av Va’eim; Peri Eitz Chaim Sha’ar Kerias Shema She’al Hamitah 11

[83] Zohar 1 p. 112a; 3 p. 49b; Zohar Chadash 11a

[84] See Likkutei Torah of Arizal Ta’amei Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis 15 that the father and mother provide two garments for the soul of the child which assists it in its fulfillment of Torah and Mitzvos, and for this reason it is vital that the parents sanctify themselves during Tashmish in order that the child receive a holy garment.

[85] Pinyanei Tanya footnote 14 in name of Tzemach Tzedek; See Sefer Ma’amarim 5657 p. 269; Tanya Likkutei Pirushim-Pirush of Rav Shmuel Gronam p. 107; Tanya Im Biur Hashaveh Lekol Nefesh from Shiurim of Rav Yoel Kahn p. 33; See however Tanya Mevueres p. 113 ands 1^st Pirush in Likkutei Pirushim ibid  who simply explains that this garment is there to help the G-dly soul express itself in this world, similar to how a computer with great hardware needs equally great software in order for its true potential to be maximized.

[86] Tanya ibid; See Biurim of Rav Yoel Kahn, Pinyanei Tanya, Tanya Mevu’eres for the explanation of this statement of Admur in Tanya

[87] Pardes of Ramak 1:5

[88] See Likkutei Torah [Arizal] Parshas Vayeira; Ta’amei Hamitzvos Parshas Bereishis

[89] Tanya Chapter 18; Sefer Hama’amarim 5669 “Inyan Hilula D’Rashbi”; Pinyanei Sefer Hatanya [Moshe Link, based on Shiurim of Rav Yoel Kahn]; Tanya Mevu’eres footnote 85; See Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 6:8 that when the couple has evil thoughts they can draw down souls from the evil gentile nations, and the children end up becoming heretics who leave K’lal Yisrael!

[90] Pinyanei Sefer Hatanya [Moshe Link, based on Shiurim of Rav Yoel Kahn]; Taya Mevu’eres footnote 85

[91] Shulchan Menachem 6:6

[92] Brachos 5a [stated by Rav Nachman the son of Yitzchak]; This is learned from a juxtaposition with the verse: “And her days were complete to give birth and she had twins in her stomach”

[93] See Admur Kama 3:9-10. Michaber 3:6; Siddur Yaavetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 4:2 Part 2; Taharas Yisrael 240:89; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmanson-2015] p. 328-334

[94] Instruction of Rebbe recorded in letters: Igros Kodesh Vol. 4:454; 492; 5:105; 220; 6:104; Heichal Menachem 3:190; Minhag Chabad recorded in: Koveitz Minhagei Chabad Inyanei Hirayon p. 13; See Chosen Yeshuos 1:90 footnote 4; Shevach Habris 1:23

Source of custom: While I have yet to find this custom recorded in reference to pregnancy, it is widely recorded in reference to birth. See Peri Eitz Chaim Shaar Kerias Sefer Torah 4 and Sefer Toldos Yaakov of Maharam Gabaiy and Siddur Arizal and Avodas Hakodesh of Chida “This Mizmor is good for arousing mercy on behalf of the woman giving birth as it has nine verses corresponding to the nine months of pregnancy, and contains seventy words corresponding to the seventy contractions of a woman giving birth”; See Yesod Veshoresh Havoda Shaar Hachamishi, Shaar Hakarban in name of Abudarham that “This Psalm is a Segula to be said during a difficult birth, as this Psalm contains 9 verses corresponding to the nine months of pregnancy.”; Likkutei Mahrich 3 in name of Midrash Talpiyos Erech Leida

[95] In all the letters of the Rebbe, the Segula is written in reference to the husband. Possibly however, this does not come to exclude the wife, and hence she is to also say it. Vetzaruch Iyun.

[96] Igros Kodesh ibid

[97] Igros Kodesh 5:105 [Vetzaruch Iyun as to the reason and meaning behind this.]

[98] Igros Kodesh ibid

[99] Igros Kodesh 5:105

[100] Rafael Hamalach Mem; Chida in Ovodas Hakodesh 3:90 “It is the custom of the city, that one whose wife enters the 9^th month of pregnancy, to perform Pesicha of the Heichal for that entire month. This is a good custom.”; Ledavid Emes 2:3 “It is the custom in some cities that when the wife enters the 9^th month”; Yosef Ometz 57; Chesed Lealafim 134:16; Siddur Yaavetz 1:312; Sefer Hachaim [Falagi] 1:5; Ohel Yissachar 88:2; Keser Shem Tov [Gagin] 1:242 that so is custom of Eretz Yisrael; Kaf Hachaim 134:12; Igros Kodesh 5:327 [no mention is made of 9^th month]; 6:27 [mentions 9^th month]; 7:108 [no mention is made of 9^th month]; Likkutei Sichos 17:470; See Chikrei Haminhagim 1:160-164; Shevach Habris 1:19; Nitei Gavriel 56:15-18

Other traditions: Birchas Efraim p. 35 writes a Mesorah in name of the Rashba to open the Aron for Anim Zemiros from when his wife enters the seventh month.

[101] Yosef Ometz ibid; Rafael Hamalach ibid

[102] Avodas Hakodesh ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid

[103] So write Rafael Hamalach, Chida ibid in all his Sefarim, Sefer Hachaim ibid, Kaf Hachaim ibid, and all the other Sefarim ibid and Shevach Habris ibid; Nitei Gavriel 56:8; However in Igros Kodesh ibid, two of the above three letters make no mention of the ninth month while one does. However, perhaps the questioner himself already mentioned in his letter that his wife was in her 9^th month and to this came the reply. Rav Gavriel Tzinner relates in the name of Rav Groner that the Rebbe’s directives were specifically during the 9^th month. [See Hearos Ubiurim 879; 636-639]

[104] Igros Kodesh ibid

[105] The reason: The opening of the Aron and removal of the Sefer Torah is a Segulah for Hashem to reciprocate and open his wife’s womb easily and without pain. [Rafael Hamalach ibid; Sefer Hachaim ibid]

[106] Sefer Hachaim ibid; Nitei Gavriel 56:16

The reason: The closing of the Aron is a Segulah for Hashem to reciprocate and close his wife’s womb easily after the birth. [Sefer Hachaim ibid]

[107] Nitei Gavriel 56:18

[108] Yosef Ometz 57; Nitei Gavriel 56:17

[109] Rafael Hamalach ibid writes to add a prayer for one’s wife during the prayer of Berich Shmei, asking Hashem to open her womb without difficulty, just like he opened the Aron, and to merit him with a healthy child.

[110] Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 5:327 “Its proper to do so if doing so will not draw attention”; 6:27 “Without Belitos”

[111] Igros Kodesh ibid; Rabbi Groner relates that the Rebbe instructed many times for this custom to be followed during the 9^th month. [Related by Rav Gavriel Tzinner in Hearos Ubiurim 879]

[112] The Rebbe instructed for the above directive of Segula to be omitted from the Sefer “Minhagei Chabad Beinyan Hirayon, Leida” of Rav Avraham Holtzberg, and indeed no mention of it is made there. [See Hearos Ubiurim 878; Kovetz Chasuna p. 32]

[113] Alef Hamagen 660:7; Yifei Laleiv 2 664:15; Likkutei Maharich; See Kesubos 61a; Midrash Raba Vayikra 37b

The Chabad custom: Some individuals received a directive from the Rebbe to use the Esrog to make jelly. [See Otzer Minhagei Chabad 233 that this instruction was given several times]

[114] Mishmeres Shalom 44

[115] Alef Hamagen 660:6; Keser Shem Tov 7:166; Chaim Ubracha 228; Nitei Gavriel Sukkos 80:8

[116] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 796 in name of Minchas Elazar 5:36

[117] Divrei Yitzchak 61; Minchas Shabbos Hosafos 98; Orchos Chaim 300:2; Kaf Hachaim 300:4; Shevach Habris 1:8; Nitei Gavriel 56:10

[118] Shabbos 31b; Brachos 31b; See Divrei Malkiel 2:94; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 144:1; 262:1; Shevach Habris 1:2

[119] Nitei Gavriel 56:13

[120] Shabbos 32a

[121] Shabbos 32b

[122] Shevet Hamussar 24; Toras Menachem 5750 3:179 “it is known the custom of women while they are pregnant to be very careful not to see impure items but rather only pure and holy items”; Likkutei Sichos 25:309; Shevach Habris 1:1; See Sichos Kodesh 5737 Sicha 7

[123] See Yerushalmi Yevamos 1:6; Rashi and Rav Ovadia Bartenura on Avos 2:8

[124] Igros Kodesh 3:387; 5:105, 220, 327; 6:104; 7:108, 303; Igeres Hateshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 82; Otzer Habris 3:7:6; Shevach Habris 1:4

[125] Kitzur SHU”A 75:2; Kitzur Dinei Shabbos 4 footnote 1; Minhag Yisrael Beyadeinu p. 38

[126] Igros Kodesh 5:327

[127] Igros Kodesh 5:105; 220; 6:104; 7:303; Shevach Habris 1:6

[128] Sefer Hasichos 5747 Vol. 1 p. 146, Toras Menachem 5747 2:37; Sichos Kodesh 5737 Sicha 7; Shevach Habris 1:21

[129] Igros Kodesh 6:104

[130] Shelah Miseches Tamid; Siddur Shelah; Kitzur Shelah; Nitei Gavriel 56:14

[131] See Shevach Habris 1:21; Nitei Gavriel Nidda 3 56:1-4

[132] Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osiyos Kedusha; Rabbeinu Yonah Brachos 5b; Niddah 70b; Zohar Chadash Bereishis 15b; Chesed Le’avraham Mayan Hasheini Nehar 65; Taharas Yisrael 240:92; Yalzu Chassidim p. 40b; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:22 footnote 169; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 38:1

[133] Sh’lah ibid

[134] Igeres Hateshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 82 [167]; Elya Raba O.C. 230:1; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osiyos Kedusha;

[135] Shevet Mussar 24; See Brachos 60a

[136] Elya Raba O.C. 230:1

[137] Kav Hayashar 17

[138] Michaber 230:1; Brachos 54a; 60a; Kaf Hachaim 230:2; Kitzur SHU”A 61:6; Poskim who prohibit a Tefilas Shav: Sefer Chassidim 794; Bechor Shur Shabbos 21; Kaf Hachaim 230:1; Or Hachaim in Chefetz Hashem Brachos 60a; Yabia Omer O.C. 35:11;

Opinion that may Daven past 40 days: Yerushlami Brachos 9:3; See Likkutei Sichos Vol. 24 p. 34

Background: The Mishneh states that one who Davens for a matter of the past is praying a Tefilas Shav, a prayer in vain. The Mishneh then continues and states, as recorded in the Shulchan Aruch, that one may only Daven for a specific desired gender of a child up until 40 days from conception, when it is still naturally possible for the gender to change. However, past 40 days one who Davens for a specific gender, then his prayer is defined as a Tefilas Shav, a prayer in vain, as he is asking G-d to change nature being that the gender is already set in place. The Gemara then explains that although Leah Davened to change the gender of her fetus from male to female, this was done within 40 days from conception, or perhaps was a mere miracle which we cannot rely upon. Now, while the wording in the Mishneh and Shulchan Aruch do not make clear whether there is an actual prohibition involved in reciting such a prayer, and it is possible to explain that there is no actual prohibition but a mere discouragement, practically, many Poskim rule that it is actually forbidden to Daven for a matter of change of nature which is a Tefilas Shav. To note, that according to the Yerushalmi, one may Daven for a male child up until the time of birth, although we do not rule this way.

[139] Brachos 60a; See also Chida in Avodas Hakodesh a special prayer that he prescribed for the end of the three months, during the seventh month, and during the nine month.

[140] Igeres Hateshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 80; see also Rabbeinu Bechayeh Yisro 19:3

[141] The reason: The reason for this is because a person’s prayer is more accepted above after the performance of a mitzvah. [Rabbeinu Yona ibid]

[142] M”A 263:11; Igeres Hateshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 81; Rabbeinu Bechayeh Yisro 19:3; Mateh Moshe 417

[143] The reason: In merit of the Shabbos candles which is light one will merit to have children who can light the world. [Rabbeinu Bechayeh ibid]

[144] Shelah Miseches Tamid; Siddur Shelah; Kitzur Shelah; Nitei Gavriel 56:24

[145] Igeres Hateshuvah of Rabbeinu Yona 82

[146] See Taz Y.D. 185:2; Teshuvos Rama 2; Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:284; 290; Likkutei Sichos 12:178; Igros Kodesh 3:387 [conceal the matter for some time]; 4:112 [conceal the matter for some time]; 5:221; 6:104; 7:303; 8:193, 209; 20:200; 20:230; 11:278; Shulchan Menachem 6:7; Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy p. 11; Shevach Habris 1:7; Bayis Yehudi page 488; Hiskashrus Vol. 314 p. 17 [Rav Y.S. Ginzberg], 316 p. 17 [Rav Karasik of Habayis Hayehudi], 318 p. 18 [Rav Kuperman]; Toras Hayoledes 60:8

[147] Igros Kodesh Rayatz ibid

[148] See Taz ibid in name of Teshuvos Rama who discusses a scenario of a woman who hid the news of her pregnancy from her relatives and neighbors in order so an Ayin Hara not fall upon the fetus and cause her to give birth in the eight-month as had occurred three previous times.

[149] See Taz ibid

[150] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:290 “It is the custom of Chassidim who are careful in their activities and follow the old traditions to conceal their wives pregnancy until she enters the fifth month and certainly there is a foundation in this within mysticism”; Igros Kodesh 6:104 “As much as possible do not publicize the pregnancy, as the Rebbe Rayatz states, until the fifth month”; 7:303; 8:193; 8:209 “In response to your question regarding the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz not to publicize the pregnancy until the fifth month..”; 20:200; 20:230 “Certainly you are aware of the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz that until you enter your fifth month you do not publicize the pregnancy”

[151] Igros Kodesh 20:230; 8:209; 11:278; Likkutei Sichos ibid

[152] Igros Kodesh 7:303

[153] Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy p. 11 based on Igros Kodesh 8:209, Vetzaruch Iyun!

[154] See Igros Kodesh 8:193

[155] Igros Kodesh 8:209 “In response to your question regarding the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz not to publicize the pregnancy until the fifth month, the intent of this restriction is only regarding publicizing the matter, however it is understood that one needs to tell the doctor, and it is permitted to tell relatives and good friends”; Igros Kodesh 8:209

[156] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:284; Shevach Habris ibid; Bayis Hayehudi p. 488; Omitted from all letters of the Rebbe, and from Koveitz Minhagei Chabad for pregnancy, Vetzaruch Iyun! See Hiskashrus ibid that from the letters of the Rebbe it seems evident that he does not hold that there are any limitations in informing relatives of the news even within the three months

[157] Implied opinion of Rebbe who omits all this in all his letters; Conclusion of Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Ginzberg and Rav Kuperman, unlike Rav Karasik

[158] Shevach Habris ibid

[159] Igros Kodesh 8:193 and 209

[160] Igros Kodesh 7:303

[161] See Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Ginzberg and Rav Karasik

[162] Igros Kodesh Rayatz 9:451 that this is a tradition among Chassidim, which was received from the elderly Chassidim who in turn heard it directly from the holy mouth of the Alter Rebbe, who stated it in the name of the Baal Shem Tov and Magid of Mezritch; Koveitz Minhagei Chabad ibid; Omitted from Bayis Hayehudi and Shevach Habris

[163] Hiskashrus ibid in name of Rabbi Label Groner that so was done throughout all the years

[164] Igros Kodesh 3:387; Maanah of Rebbe from 1950, brought in Koveitz Minhagei Chabad ibid footnote 1; See Hiskashrus ibid and ibid

[165] See Hiskashrus ibid of Rav Karasik

[166] Darkei Moshe O.C. 617:1 “One must be careful that a pregnant woman guard herself as much as possible that she does not eat pork and non-kosher meats as this will cause that her child will be God fearing”; Or Zarua 279; Yerushalmi Chagiga 9b regarding the mother of Acher that she had once eaten a non-Kosher food during her pregnancy due to having smelled it and lusted after it, and this is what caused her son to become a heretic; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:1; Shevach Habris 1:24; Nitei Gavriel 3 56:5

[167] See Igros Kodesh 18:109, brought in Shulchan Menachem 4:14

[168] One who is slightly ill and is in need for milk products may be lenient to recite an after blessing, wash out the mouth, and wait one hour between milk and meat: Chochmas Adam 40:11; Igros Kodesh Rashab Halacha 35; Aruch Hashulchan 89:6; Amudei Hashulchan on Kitzur SHU”A 4; Ben Ish Chaiy Shelach 11; Zivcheiy Tzedek 89:11; Darkei Teshuvah 89:20; Kaf Hachaim 87:7 and 21 and 26; So rule regarding Meiy Chalav: Chasam Sofer Y.D. 73; Pischeiy Teshuvah 87:3; Nitei Gavriel 66:33

[169] See Mavor Yabok Mamar Sifsei Tzedek 5; Yerushalmi Yevamos 1:6 with Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Chananya; Shevet Hamussar 24; Tur Y.D. 305; Bach 305; Likkutei Sichos 25:309; Toras Menachem 5750 3:179 “It is known the custom of women while they are pregnant to be very careful not to see impure items but rather only pure and holy items”, brought in Shulchan Menachem 6:31; Nitei Gavriel 56:6; Shevach Habris 1:10; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:4

[170] See Mavor Yabok Mamar Sifsei Tzedek 5; Yerushalmi Yevamos 1:6 with Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Chananya; Shevet Hamussar 24; Tur Y.D. 305; Bach 305; Nitei Gavriel 56:6; Shevach Habris 1:10

[171] See Kav Hayashar 2; Shevet Hamussar 24; Maagol Tov p. 56; Yeshuos Chochmah 33:11; Sefer Zechira; Sichos Kodesh Parshas Kedoshim 2:170; Hisvadyus 1984 20^th Marchesvan 37; Likkutei Sichos 25:309; Toras Menachem 5750 3:179 “It has been spoken a number of times on the need to be careful not to look at toys and pictures of non-Kosher  animals in order so children only see pure and holy things. This is so important that this adherence begins as soon as the child is born and comes out to the air the world, in which case we immediately hang around the child matters of holiness and purity. Furthermore, this adherence begins even before the child is born during the pregnancy. As it is known that the custom of women while they are pregnant to be very careful not to see impure items but rather only pure and holy items“; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 237:2; See Megillah 28a; Shulchan Menachem 6:31; Shevach Habris 1:11

[172] The reason: As everything a child sees, even from a young age, is encrypted in his mind, and hence it is proper to abstain them from seeing anything which can ignite their Yetzer Hara when they are older. [see Kav Hayashar 2; Hisvadyus 1984 20^th Marchesvan 37]

[173] Chosen Yeshuos p. 86 in name of Rebbe; Shevach Habris 1:11

[174] Admur 260:4; M”A 260 Hakdama; Nida 17a; Moed Katan 18a; Kneses Hagedola 241; Ateres Zikeinim 241; Perisha O.C. 241:4; M”B 260:1, 6; Kaf Hachaim Y.D. 116:92; Daas Moshe 29; Darkei Chaim Veshalom 353; Betzel Hachochmah 3:54; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:14 footnote 15 in length; Shevach Habris 1:12; Nitei Gavriel 56:7

[175] Based on Kabala the nails contain danger towards all people, and are not just limited to pregnant women. [Likkutei Maharich based on Zohar Acharei 39; See also Poskim in next footnote regarding a woman who is ritually impure.] It is clear however from Admur and the Poskim/Talmud [which allow discarding it in a Beis Midrash] that it is only a danger for pregnant women.

The reason: The reason that nails have such potency and danger for the fetus of a pregnant woman is because the nails of Adam were damaged as a result of the sin of Adam and Eve. Prior to the sin, Adam and Eve were garbed by nails and when they sinned they lost this nail protection, and the nails remained only on the tips of the fingers. Now, since it is Eve who caused Adam to sin, and hence cause his nail garment to be damaged, therefore there forever remains a danger for women to step on nails. [Tolas Yaakov Sod Hashabbos 3; Beir Heiytiv 260:2; Elya Raba 260:7]

[176] Liability for one who caused a woman to miscarry due to throwing his nails in a walking area: It requires further analysis as to the level of liability one carries if he caused a woman to miscarry due to him not being careful to put his nails away properly. [See Mishneh Halachos 5:265; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:19 footnote 21]

[177] This refers to any woman who is a Nida, until she purifies herself in a Mikveh. [Bach and Beis Yosef Y.D. 198 in name of Rokeiach; Yesod Veshoresh Havoda Shaar Hakolel 6 based on Zohar Pinchas 248; Kitzur SHU”A 161:8 “If her husband or other person steps on it is dangerous for them”; See Betzeil Hachochmah 2:35; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:20] The nails of a Niddah are even more severe than the nails of a regular person, as the danger of stepping on the nails of a Niddah is for all people and not just for a pregnant woman. Likewise, by the nails of a Niddah it does not help to sweep the nails to a different area to cease the danger. [Betzeil Hachochmah 2:35]

[178] For the need of a Mitzvah: Vetzaruch Iyun if doing so is necessary when she is walking for the need of a Mitzvah. [Toras Hayoledes 60 footnote 9; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:18]

[179] Admur ibid; Nida ibid; Poskim ibid

[180] The reason: In order so they are destroyed from the face of the earth and there is no longer any possibility for them to become uncovered and cause potential damage to a fetus. One who does so is called a Chassid being that burning part of one’s body, even one’s nails, is damaging for oneself, hence he is called a Chassid as he overrides his own health in order to fully protect his friend. [Machatzis Hashekel 260:1]

[181] Hayom Yom 16 Iyar; See Darkei Chaim Veshalom 353; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:16 footnote 19

[182] This is however of less righteousness then is a Chassid, as it is possible for the nails to resurface.

[183] He is considered a Rasha as he is causing a potential hazard if a pregnant woman were to walk on it.

[184] Admur ibid; Machatzis Hashekel 269; M”B 260:6; Rebbe Yochanan in Moed Katan ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to refrain from throwing nails even in a Beis Midrash, as it is implied from the Zohar that the nails have the power to injure all people and not just pregnant women. [Likkutei Maharich based on Zohar Acharei 39] Likewise nails are considered repulsive. [Nimukei Yosef and Ran on Moed Katan 17a]

[185] M”B 260:6

[186] Admur ibid; Perisha O.C. 241:4; Birkeiy Yosef 260:6; Machatzis Hashekel 269; M”B 260:6; Moed Katan ibid; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:15

[187] The Aruch Hashulchan 260:6 notes that if one cut another item with the nail cutter after the nails were cut, the danger is no longer applicable.

[188] Elya Raba 260:4, brought in Peri Megadim 260 A”A Hakdama and M”B 260:6; See Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid “If the nails were swept outside”

[189] See Poskim ibid

[190] Perisha 241, brought in M”B 260:6; Birkeiy Yosef 260:6; Makor Chaim 260; Aruch Hashulchan 260:6

[191] Peri Chadash Y.D. 116, brought in Machatzis Hashekel ibid

[192] Machatzis Hashekel on M”A ibid; M”B 260:6

[193] As once it has switched rooms, the nail is no longer of danger.

[194] Beir Moshe 6:133-12

[195] On the one hand gentiles do not have impurity of the hands in the morning [Admur Basra 4:2; Peri Megadim 4 M”Z 7; Amudei Hashulchan 4:7; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 54:16] and likewise do not spread Tumas Meis within an Ohel, and do not contract impurity when they touch a corpse. [Rambam Tumas Meis 1:13] Some deduce based on this that their nails are also like the nails of an animal, and hence do not give off impurity. [See Piskeiy Teshuvos 260 footnote 94] On the other hand there are Poskim who rule that gentiles do impurify food which was under the bed they slept in, just like a Jew. [See Darkei Teshuvah 116:39 in name of Chakel Yitzchak 41]

[196] Makor Chaim 260

[197] The reason: Perhaps the reason for this is because the nails do not cause damage to pregnant gentile women. Vetzaruch Iyun.

[198] Aruch Hashulchan 260:6; See Nida 17a; Tosefes Shabbos 260:2, Machazikei Bracha 260:5, Darkei Chaim Veshalom 353; Kaf Hachaim 260:18 that some are accustomed to cut another item after cutting the nails, however no mention is made that this nullifies the danger; See Betzel Hachochmah 3:54; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 68:17 footnote 19 in length

[199] Beis Lechem Yehuda 72:3; Kneses Hagedola; Mishmeres Shalom 72 S.D. 2; Ben Ish Chaiy Acharei 2:11

[200] Ben Ish Chaiy Acharei 2:11; Sefer Zechira Inyanei Netilas Yadayim

[201] Keser Torah Eitz Chaim 9:1; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:2

[202] Sefer Hamidos; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:3

[203] See Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] Mavo 17-19; Hakashrus page 433.

[204] Beis Lechem Yehuda 72:3; Kneses Hagedola; Mishmeres Shalom 72 S.D. 2; Ben Ish Chaiy Acharei 2:11

[205] Shevet Mussar 24; Shevach Habris 1:13

[206] Igros Kodesh 11:278; 5:327; Shevach Habris 1:26

[207] See Minchas Yitzchak 10:42; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2:84-4; Shevach Habris 1:14-15; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142 footnote 4; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Erech “Hirayon” Volume 3 p. 28 and 39

[208] Pashut as there is no source for forbidding it, and so is proved from the fact the Poskim [below] bring that even the wife of a Kohen that is pregnant may enter a cemetery, and as writes the Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343:4] that even by the pregnant wife of a Kohen those who are stringent are doing Minhag Borus [custom of ignorance], hence certainly the wife of a Yisrael is allowed.

[209] Poskim ibid; Shevach Habris 1:15 footnote 26 in name of Rav Leibal Groner, in name of Rav Zalman Shimon Dworkin

The reason: This custom has no known source. A number of possible reasons are suggested: 1) Perhaps this is due to the fact that it is proper for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to avoid a cemetery, and hence we see that the fetus can receive impurity. Now since we await the rebuilding of the Temple every day the women avoid going to a cemetery, as if the Temple is rebuilt while they are still pregnant they will be able to give over their pure sons to perform the necessary actions required for the Para Aduma. [Minchas Yitzchak ibid; See Mishneh Parah 3:2] 2) Alternatively, it is because they desire to avoid any impurity during the pregnancy. [Nitei Gavriel ibid; See Sheivet Hamussar 24]

[210] Poskim ibid based on Rashba 1:9 that we do not differ a tradition received from righteous women even if we have 600,000 proofs against it. [brought in Heishiv Moshe 13]

[211] Nitei Gavriel ibid

[212] Heard from Rav Asher Lemel HaCohen

[213] Shach Y.D. 371:1; Rokeiach 366 (315); M”A 343:2; Radbaz 200; Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343:4-there he writes it’s a Minhag Borus to be stringent] Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 160:1; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 354; Mahariy 354; Minchas Chinuch Mitzvah 263:3; Kitzur SHU”A 202:15; M”B 343:3; Betzel Hachochma 3:102; See Pischeiy Teshuvah 371:1; Gilyon Maharsha 371; Darkei Chesed p. 208; Nitei Gavriel 56:20

The reason: As there is a Safek Sfeka; perhaps the fetus is a female and perhaps it will be a stillborn. [Shach ibid; Rokeiach ibid] Alternatively a fetus cannot receive impurity as it is considered within a Beis Hablia. [M”A ibid; Radbaz 200, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 371:1; See there that even the Rokeiach agrees to this.] Others however argue that a fetus is considered part of the mother [Yerech Imo] and hence can contract impurity even during pregnancy. [Birkeiy Yosef 343:1]

[214] Birkeiy Yosef 343:4; Kaf Hachaim 343:4; Minchas Yitzchak 1042

The reason: As if in truth the child is a boy he contracts impurity. [This is proven from fact the Rokeiach only allows it due to Safek Sfeika. See previous footnote for the dispute regarding Beis Hablia] Hence, it is proper to initially avoid doing so. [ibid]

[215] As then there is no longer a Sfek Sfeka according to the Rokeiach [as learns Birkeiy Yosef ibid], although according to many Poskim this would still remain permitted being that the fetus is considered within a Beis Hablia, as brought from M”A ibid and Radbaz ibid and so is evident from other Poskim mentioned in next footnote] See Even Yisrael 8:77 that deals with this question in regards to giving birth in a hospital that is not careful about Tumas Meis. He concludes there that ultrasounds are not 100% accurate, and that it is for the needs of a Yoledes who is in Sakana and hence she may choose to go to whatever hospital she wishes. Nevertheless, she is not initially to take an ultrasound and hence remove the Sfek Sfeka. This is all with regards to which hospital to give birth and does not relate to a pregnant woman entering a Beis Hakevaros if she knows the child is male. It is understood that in such a case there are more Poskim who rule stringently.

[216] Sheilas Yaavetz 2:174 (177) forbids in such a case [as the child may be born]; opinion in Darkei Chesed p. 208; Most Poskim however permit even in such a case, as the Sfek Sfeika still remains. [M”B 343:3; Radbaz ibid brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid, that this was the original case of allowance written by the Rokeaich; Betzeil Hachochmah 3:105]

[217] Shevet Halevi 6:175; Nitei Gavriel 56:22; See previous footnotes; and so ruled to me Harav Asher Lemel Cohen that practically it is not accustomed to be stringent.

[218] Michaber 352:3; Aruch Hashulchan 352:2; Divrei Malkiel 5:154; Gesher Hachaim p. 103; Nitei Gavriel 40:4

[219] Nitei Gavriel 40:6 as the trauma can endanger the child

[220] See Minchas Yitzchak 10:42; Nitei Gavriel Volume 1 67:7 and Volume 2 84:4; Shevach Habris 1:15

[221] Pashut as there is no source for forbidding it, and so is proved from the fact the Poskim [below] bring that even the wife of a Kohen that is pregnant may enter a cemetery, and as writes the Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343:4] that even by the pregnant wife of a Kohen those who are stringent are doing Minhag Borus [custom of ignorance], hence certainly the wife of a Yisrael is allowed.

[222] This custom has no known source. A number of possible reasons are suggested: 1) Perhaps this is due to the fact that it is proper for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to avoid a cemetery, and hence we see that the fetus can receive impurity. Now since we await the rebuilding of the Temple every day the women avoid going to a cemetery, as if the Temple is rebuilt while they are still pregnant they will be able to give over their pure sons to perform the necessary actions required for the Para Aduma. [Minchas Yitzchak ibid; See Parah Mishneh 3:2] 2) Alternatively, it is because they desire to avoid any impurity during the pregnancy. [Nitei Gavriel ibid; See Sheivet Hamussar 24]

[223] Poskim ibid based on Rashba that we do not differ a tradition received from righteous women even if we have 600,000 proofs against it. [brought in Heishiv Moshe 13]

[224] Heard from Rav Asher Lemel HaCohen

[225] Shevach Habris 1:15 footnote 26 in name of Rav Leibal Groner, in name of Rav Zalman Shimon Dworkin; See Chayeh Adam 135:25; M”B 559:41; Orchos Chaim Spinka 88

[226] See Nishmas Avraham p. 160; Toras Hayoledes Chapter 65:2

[227] Heard from Rabbi Leibal Groner, printed in “Healthy in Body Mind and Spirit” Vol. 2; Hiskashrus

[228] See Nishmas Avraham p. 160 that this is usually done in the first trimester and again in the third trimester.

[229] Heard from Rabbi Leibal Groner, printed in “Healthy in Body Mind and Spirit” Vol. 2; Hiskashrus

[230] Quoted in article of Rabbi Ginzberg in Hiskashrus

[231] Recorded in Hiskashrus, by Rav Ginzberg, based on information received from Rabbi Groner

[232] Nishmas Avraham ibid

[233] Midrash Bereishis Raba 65:12 and Yifei Toar there; Koheles Raba 11:5, unlike Pesachim 54b; Nishmas Avraham Y.D. 189:3; Torat Hayoledet 57:1 footnote 2

[234] Igros Kodesh 11:66, 164; 15:165

[235] Igros Kodesh 11:66

[236] There is no source for prohibiting this, and it is not considered an all-encompassing practice of world Jewry that has the power of a set custom to obligate all Jewry to follow.

[237] Sheilas Rav 2:57 in reply of Rav Chaim Kanievsky

[238] Rav Eliyahu Landau wrote to me that that one may purchase without any worry, and that on this it states, “One who is not Makpid -Lo Kapdinan”, and that so is the custom that he witnessed.

[239] This follows the famous ruling of the Rashba [See Rashba 1:9; Heishiv Moshe 13; Aryeh Dbei Ilai Y.D. 19] that the Minhag of women is holy and is to be abided.  [Heard from Rav Leibel Groner who is of the opinion that one should guard this custom]

[240] Heard from Rav Leibel Groner

[241] M”A 240:5; See Nitei Gavriel 103:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:8; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 13:5; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 127:8

[242] M”A 240:5; Niddah 31a; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel Klal Vav 5:1; Zohar Shemos 3; Peri Eitz Chaim 16:11; Oar Tzadikim 27:1; Kaf Hachaim 240:22

The reason: One who has relations on this night is considered a murderer, as doing so can kill the child. [M”A ibid in name of Zohar ibid]

[243] M”A 240:5; Abayey in Niddah ibid

The reason: As it is not possible to know definitively which day is the 90^th day of pregnancy. [Niddah ibid] As not always does she become pregnant right after Mikveh. [Aruch Laneir Niddah ibid; Noda Beyehuda; Mishneh Halachos 11:193]

[244] Peri Eitz Chaim ibid, brought in M”A ibid; Kaf Hachaim 240:22

[245] Shevet Halevi 3:113; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:8; Nitei Gavriel Niddah 2:103 footnote 3; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[246] Bris Avos 5:26 in name of Likkutei Sefer; Toras Alef 3:34; Zocher Habris 11:13; Michtav Oz of Minchas Elazar; Likkutei Sichos 22:56-58 [custom of many places], printed in Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 2:34 and Shulchan Menachem 5:111; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 152:1; Beir Moshe See Shevach Habris 1:17 p. 28 and footnote 29; Nitei Gavriel 56:8

[247] Likkutei Sichos ibid that it requires further research as to whether this is the custom in all places

[248] The reason: Several reasons are recorded behind this custom, including: 1) It is a [mystical] danger for her fetus due to the evil eye; 2) She won’t pay proper attention to the infant she is holding. [Bris Avos 5:26; Toras Alef 3:34] Alternatively, the reason is because we only desire that two people escort the child and not three, and a woman who is pregnant is considered as if she is two people. [Likkutei Sichos ibid]

[249] Minchas Elazar on Sefer Zocher Habris; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 152:2

[250] Likkutei Sichos 22:56 [is a custom of Israel], printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:137 footnote 30; 6:206; Minchas Elazar Michtav Oz; Os Shalom Mila Hosafos 265:22; Shaarei Shamayim 48; Beir Moshe 3:184; Nitei Gavriel 56:9

[251] Shulchan Haezer 2:31; Toras Alef 3:34; Nitei Gavriel 56:9 footnote 11 and 12 that in today’s times one may be lenient in this matter.

[252] Likkutei Sichos ibid footnote 30

[253] See Admur Shemiras Guf Vinefesh Halacha 3; Michaber C.M. 409:3; Tur 409:3; Rambam Nizkeiy Mamon 5:9; Bava Kama 15b that even if the dog does not bite but simply barks [at people and intimidates them], then it is defined as a dangerous dog [which is Biblically prohibited from being owned], being that his threatening bark can cause a pregnant woman to feel threatened and frightened and cause her to miscarry.

[254] Igros Kodesh 29 p. 30

[255] Admur 617:2; Michaber 617:2; Rambam Yom Kippur 2:9; Mishneh Yuma 82a [8:5]; Ketzos Hashulchan 147:2 p. 7; Shevach Habris 1:9

[256] Issur Viheter Hearuch 60:5; Kaf Hachaim 617:7 in name of Levush; Ketzos Hashulchan ibid; See Erech Hashulchan 617:1 brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid; See also Besamim Rosh 353 that in today’s times we don’t even try to calm her down as it is a matter of danger and we give her to eat right away whether on Yom Kippur war with a non-Kosher  food, brought in Pischeiy Olam 617:2 and Kaf Hachaim ibid

[257] Ketzos Hashulchan ibid

[258] Shevilei Emuna Nesiv Hei Shevil 1; Nitei Gavriel 56:11

[259] Yerushalmi Chagiga 9b

[260] M”A 240:1; Siddur Ya’avetz Mosach Hashabbos Mitos Kesef 7 Chulya Gimel 1; Kitzur SHU”A 150:7; M”B 240:2 and 10; Biur Halacha 240:1 “Ela B’onah”; Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102; See Nitei Gavriel 103:1-2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:8; Sheyikadesh Atzmo Chapter 13 p.  218-226; Nitei Gavriel 103

[261] The reason: As the Mitzvah of Onah is independent of the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. [Igros Moshe ibid]

[262] Kaf Hachaim 240:1

[263] Sha’ar Hamitzvos Bereishis; Kaf Hachaim 240:1

[264] M”A 240:5; Tur 240:1; Niddah 31a; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:1; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 408; See Ezer Mikodesh 76:1 that perhaps during this time the Mitzvah of Onah is not a real obligation; Meiy Hada’as 240:6 that some communities are accustomed to abstain from intimacy during the first three months of pregnancy, and that so rule some Rabbanim

[265] Implication of Sefer Chassidim 380

[266] See Orchos Rabbeinu 1:98 and 5:27 in name of Chazon Ish, brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:8, that the intent of the Talmud is not to say that all intercourse is difficult, but that excessive intercourse is difficult, and that having intercourse according to the minimal Onah frequency is not damaging. See Kedushas Moshe p. 14; See medical opinion at end of this paragraph; However, see Sefer Chassidim ibid brought in previous footnote

[267] Nonetheless, intercourse is permitted during this time even if it is difficult for the child, as we suspect that the husband or wife may have forbidden thoughts if it were to be prohibited, and hence it is better for intercourse to be permitted to prevent the forbidden thoughts and not prohibit something which they cannot control. [Sefer Chassidim 380]

[268] See Kedushas Moshe p. 14; Meiy Da’as ibid; Dr. Mordechai Halprin of the Shlezinger institute, brought in Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 4

[269] See Sefer Chassidim ibid that one who indulges without need will be punished; See Igros Kodesh 15:316, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:241; See Meiy Hada’as ibid; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 13 footnote 2

[270] Igros Kodesh ibid; See Rama E.H. 156:4; Maharam Shick Y.D. 244; S’dei Chemed K’lalim Mareches Tes:5

[271] Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refu’it 3:11; See Nishmas Avraham Basra 3:397; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 13 footnote 4

Other opinions: See Kedushas Moshe p. 14 that the doctors today say that having excessive intercourse during the first trimester can cause miscarriage.

[272] Dr. Mordechai Halprin of the Shlezinger institute, brought in Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 4; Kuntrus Derech Hamelech p. 11; Kedushas Moshe ibid; Meiy Da’as ibid

[273] Written in 2012 by doctor Andrew Moscrop with the University of Oxford

[274] Interestingly, he notes that in the 1980’s the majority of gynecologists advised abstinence, but later on in the 90’s, many retracted their claims

[275] Igros Kodesh ibid

[276] Setimas Kol Haposkim, that the obligation of Onah applies also during the first trimester and hence only if the wife is Mochel, and the husband agrees, may they abstain

[277] Michaber 240:1; Tur 240:1; Niddah 31a; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:1; Sh’lah Hakadosh Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 408; See Sanhedrin 70b regarding Batsheva and Rashi there; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 13:3

[278] See Rashi ibid; Abudarham Birchas Hashachar

[279] Naturally, women tend to enjoy intercourse during the second trimester more than any other time of pregnancy, and possibly more than any other time of marriage. Thus, the above Talmudic statement is quite puzzling, and therefore perhaps one can suggest that it refers to the medical effect of intercourse on the woman, and not on her personal enjoyment. Alternatively, one can offer to say that the nature of women have changed from the times of the Talmud, thereby explaining the omission of this statement by majority of Poskim. See Igros Kodesh 15:316 for a similar approach. Vetzaruch Iyun!

[280] M”A 240:5; Niddah 31a

[281] Niddah ibid

[282] Dr. Mordechai Halprin of the Shlezinger institute, brought in Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 5

[283] Nishmas Avraham Basra 3:297

[284] Igros Kodesh 15:316

[285] See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refu’it 3:11; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 13:4; Shut Machon Puah “Hirayon” p. 30-38

[286] Igeres Hakodesh of Ramban Chapters 5; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:2-3 and 6:4; Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 6:9-11 and Chulya Gimel 16; Igros Kodesh 12:424

[287] See Reishis Chochmah Sha’ar Hakedusha 16:31 in name of Ramak

[288] Menoras Hama’or Ner Sh’lishi 6:5 that he should not do so for only his pleasure, but also for her pleasure

[289] Michaber O.C. 240:1; Tur 240 in name of Ra’avad; Kitzur SHU”A 150:9

[290] See P”M 240 A”A 13 regarding Ben Tesha Midos; Niddah 31a; Binyan Habayis Al Pi Torah 13:9; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 14:14

[291] Zohar 3:138; Rabbeinu Eliezer Ben Archa 10; Sh’lah Hakadosh Lech Lecha p. 45 and Sha’ar Ha’osyos Erech Kedusha 402; Chesed LeAvraham [Rav Avraham Azulai] Mayan 2 Nehar 65-66; Or Hachaim Vayikra 12:2; Elya Raba 240:2; Chida in Nitzutzei Oros in name of Maharam Galanti; Ben Ish Chai Vayeira 1:24; Biur Halacha 240:1 “Ela B’onah” in name of Elya Raba in name of Mekubalim; See Ma’amarei Admur Ha’emtzai Shmos 1:5; Sefer Hama’amarim 5711 p. 206; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 14:13

[292] Ezer Mikodesh E.H. 76:1

[293] See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 15

[294] SSH”K 36:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 328:30 in name of Az Nidbaru

[295] Minchas Elazar 1:33; 2:11

[296] Peri Yitzchak 2:9; Ketzos Hashulchan 75 footnote 17 and 79 footnote 3 [leaves in question]; Beir Moshe 8:64

[297] Peri Yitzchak ibid [permits drinking all liquids and even to eat a little]; Daas Torah 271; Pischeiy Teshuvah 271 in name of Binyan Olam 7; Minchas Shabbos 77:2 [permits only water]; Ketzos Hashulchan 79 footnote 3; Beir Moshe 8:64; Mishneh Halachos 7:37; Piskeiy Teshuvos 271:13 [May drink any liquid and eat less than a Kebeitza of Mezonos]

[298] The reason: As perhaps the prohibition of eating or drinking before Kiddush does not begin to apply until sunset, as well as the Rambam always permits drinking water before Kiddush.

[299] Ketzos Hashulchan 79 footnote 3 in name of Minchas Shabbos ibid

[300] See Teshuvos Vehanhagos 3:359; Nitei Gavriel 56:12

[301] Rama 550:1; See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 50

[302] See Q&A regarding from which month this begins

[303] Michaber 554:5; Rama ibid; Hagahos Maimanis; Maggid Mishneh Taanis 5

The reason: As it is greatly painful for them to fast. [Rama ibid] See P”M 550 A”A 2 that ideally, they are obligated to fast all four fasts, and it is only today that the fasts are due to a custom [as explained above that in times of peace it is not obligatory] that pregnant and nursing woman don’t have to fast, as they never accepted upon themselves this custom.

[304] Rama ibid; Siddur Yaavetz

[305] Rama ibid; M”A 550:2 that there is no prohibition for them to fast on a Taanis Tzibur Kavua being that everyone accepted the fast upon themselves, although by a Taanis for Geshamim its forbidden for them to fast, as rules Rama 575:5

[306] M”B 550:5

[307] Rama ibid; See Rama 575:5 that it is forbidden for them to fast; See M”A 550:2; Seemingly, if they do not feel well, it is forbidden for them to fast even a Taanis Tzibur Kavua, as it is detrimental for the child. However, see P”M 550 A”A 2 in explanation of M”A ibid, who implies even if they are in great pain, they may be stringent to fast. Vetzaruch Iyun.

[308] M”B 686:5; Kaf Hachaim 686:22 regarding Taanis Esther and the same would apply regarding the four fasts; See however M”B ibid in name of the Bach.

[309] See Makor Chaim of Chavos Yair 550 “No need to be stringent at all”; Siddur Yaavetz “They are exempt even if they are not feeling pain, and if they want they could be stringent”; Orchos Chaim of Spinka 550:4, in name of Yifei Lalev, in name of Bashamayim Rosh 91, and Teshuva Meahava that they are weak and have pain; Ashel Avraham Butchach 686 Mahadurah Tinyana; Hisorerus Teshuvah 1:6; Divreiy Yatziv 2:291; Piskeiy Teshuvos 550:1; 686:3 that so is the ruling of today’s Rabbanim.

[310] M”B 686:5; Kaf Hachaim 686:22 regarding Taanis Esther and the same would apply regarding the four fasts; See however M”B ibid in name of the Bach.

[311] Michaber 554:5; Ashel Avraham 686 Mahadurah Tinyana; Chayeh Adam 133:6; M”B 550:5; Kaf Hachaim 550:7

[312] The reason: This is done in order to participate in the day of oppression followed by the community. [Ashel Avraham 686 Mahadurah Tinyana]

[313] M”B 550:5; See Seder Hayom Inyanei Bein Hametzarim; Piskeiy Teshuvos 5508

[314] M”B 550:3; Kaf Hachaim 550:5; Mor Uketzia 550; Piskeiy Teshuvos 550:1; Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim 5

Background: The M”B ibid rules that seemingly she is considered pregnant starting from the 4^th month and onwards, however possibly she is considered pregnant even starting from the 41^st day if she feels pain. However, if she is pregnant for less than 40 days, she is considered like any other woman that must fast unless she is in great pain. He then concludes that if she feels weakness, she is not to be stringent at all. The Kaf Hachaim ibid however writes this ruling a little differently: He writes that if she is in great pain she may be lenient from the 41^st day, however prior to 40 days she must fast even if she is in great pain. 

[315] See Background!

[316] Avnei Nezer 540; Orchos Chaim 550:3 in name of Shut Ramatz; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 550:1-2 and footnote 2

[317] Michaber 554:5; Rama 550:1; Pesachim 54b; See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 51

[318] Aruch Hashulchan 554:7; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:5

The reason: As she is considered like a sick person. [ibid]

[319] See Q&A!

[320] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; and so I received from Harav Asher Lemel Hakohen

[321] Rav SZ”A in Halichos Beisa 25:2; Tzedaka Umishpat Hakdama; Rav Yaakov Yosef; See Nitei Gavriel 65 footnote 2

[322] Rav Yaakov Yisrael Fisher [brought in Sefer Pnei Baruch; Piskeiy Teshuvos 617 footnote 1] was of the opinion that today pregnant women no longer have to fast, and may eat less than the Shiur on Yom Kippur, due to danger of miscarriage. Practically, this ruling is not accepted amongst Poskim or Moreh Horaas and rather each case must be judged individually by a competent Rav. [Tzitz Eliezer 17:20; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:292; Piskeiy Teshuvos 617:1; Rav Ovadia Yosef] However, Rav Yaakov Yosef ruled after a thorough investigation amongst doctors, and discovering a dispute amongst them as to the dangers of fasting, regarding Tisha B’av which is a Rabbincial fast, one may be lenient.

[323] Shvus Yaakov 3:37 “And so I am accustomed to rule regarding a slightly ill person, or a Yoledes within 30 days, or a pregnant woman and slightly ill”; Hagahos Rav Akiva Eiger 559:9 “One who is slightly sick, and a pregnant women who feels slightly ill, may eat”; Biur Halacha 559 “Eino”; Gevuros Ari Taanis 30b; Toras Chaim Sofer 554:4; 559:14; Shevet Halevi 6:70; Nitei Gavriel 65:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:5; See Yechaveh Daas 3

Other opinions-Stringent: Some Poskim rule there is no additional leniency on Nidche. [See M”A 559:11 in the name of Kneses Hagedola; Yaavetz; See Zecher David 54]

Other opinions by pregnant woman that she does not need to fast at all: Some Poskim rule a pregnant and nursing woman does not need to fast at all even if they are feeling well, as this fast is similar to any Nidche fast. The proof for this is from the fact that if on a regular fast day we do not allow a Baal Bris to eat, but do allow a pregnant and nursing woman to eat, then certainly on a Nidche fast day that we allow a Baal Bris to eat, that we allow a pregnant and nursing woman to eat. [Divrei Malkiel 3:26 “It has the same status as other fast days, and even a pregnant or nursing woman has the same status as other fast days”; Rav Ovadia Yosef, recorded in Chazon Ovadia and so rules his sons Rav Yaakov and Yitzchak Yosef, as heard in a Shiur] Vetzaruch Iyun Gadol as a) The proof from a Baal Bris is not relevant to a pregnant or nursing woman, as a Baal Bris has a personal Yom Tov, while a pregnant and nursing woman is exempt due to the illness category, and since on Tisha Beav the Sages obligated them to fast, there is no proof that this obligation was rescinded if there is no illness involved. [See Zecher David 54] Furthermore, all the Poskim who record the above source of Bris to permit a slightly ill person to eat on Nidche, all explicitly write that by a pregnant woman, she may eat if she is slightly ill, and do not permit it indiscriminately. [See Shvus Yaakov ibid; Rav Akiva Eiger ibid; Biur Halacha ibid] Furthermore, even the Divrei Malkiel ibid who states that it has the same status as a regular fast, in truth by a regular fast the Rama [550:1] rules the custom is for pregnant and nursing woman to fast unless they feel great pain or weakness. Thus, the Divrei Malkiel never advocated for an indiscriminate exemption of pregnant and nursing woman! Nonetheless, in truth some Poskim of today rule that even on a non-Nidche Tisha Beav pregnant woman do not need to fast due to worry of miscarriage, as explained above, and certainly this would apply even more by Nidche.

[324] The reason: As we rule that on Tishe Beav Nidche a Baal Bris does not need to fast [Michaber 559:9], hence proving that Nidche has a more lenient status, and certainly we can be lenient in a case of illness. [Shvus Yaakov ibid]

[325] From when is a woman considered pregnant in this regard? There is no difference in this regard whether she is in the beginning or end of her pregnancy. [M”B 617:1] The laws of fasting relevant to a pregnant woman begins to apply from the moment she knows she is pregnant, even if this is prior to the passing of 40 days from the time of conception. [Daas Torah 617:1; Sheivet Halevy 7:80; Nitei Gavriel 38:4] However, there are Poskim who question whether prior to 40 days we allow her to break her fast to prevent miscarriage. [Shaar HaTziyon 617:1; See also M”B 550:3; Kaf Hachaim 550:5]

[326] Ruling of Rav Asher Lemel Cohen and Rav Yaakov Yosef

[327] See M”B 617:9; Mamar Mordechai 617:3; Alef Lamateh 617:5; Sdei Chemed 3:2; Meishiv Halacha 242; Minchas Yehuda 29; Nitei Gavriel 38:5; Regarding that the above applies only after 9 months: So ruled Rav Yaakov Yosef and Rav A. L. Cohen

[328] According to Halacha, a child is considered premature, and an 8^th month child, until nine full months have passed from conception. [See Y.D. 374:8; See Meil Tzedaka 5, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 374:9 that we follow the Hebrew months in this regard, and not an amount of weeks or days. Thus, since the months vary between 29 and 30 days, determining how many weeks:days need to pass depends on how many days were in each of the nine months of her pregnancy. If, for example, there were five 30 day months and four 29 day months, then it is exactly 38 weeks, which is 266 days. If however there were more or less than five 30 day months, then it would be more or less than 38 weeks. Thus, we determine the completion of nine months based on the passing of Hebrew months, and not based on weeks or days.] Medically, however, a child is only considered premature if born prior to week 37 from her last period, which is approximately week 35 from conception. Nonetheless, a child born in week 37-38 from the last period is termed an “early term baby” and quite often the child is not yet developed enough to be born. It is only considered full term in weeks 39-40 from the last period, which fits the Halachic definition of 37-38 weeks from conception. 

[329] See Poskim ibid that compare a woman giving birth to a regular Yoledes within three days, of which the law is that she may eat regularly.

[330] Piskeiy Teshuvos 317:1 footnote 3; Rav A. L. Cohen

The reason: As there is no danger involved for her or the child if she gives birth in her 9^th month, and hence there is no reason to permit her to eat in order to stop contractions.

[331] Elya Raba brought in M”B 554:16

[332] Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:9

[333] Avnei Nezer 540; Kaf Hachaim 556:9; Minchas Yitzchak 8:30; Kinyan Torah 2:111; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid and 556:4

[334] Kaf Hachaim ibid; Poskim ibid

[335] Tzemach Tzedek O.C. 108:110; Divrei Nechemia 42; Sefer Haminhagim p. 92 [English]; Halachos Ketanos 2:100; Maharam Shick 289; Shaiy Lamorah 4; Marcheshes 1:14; Biur Halacha 554 “Bemakom” in name of Pischeiy Olam

[336] Chida in Machazik Bracha, brought in Kaf Hachaim 554:31; Maharam Shick 290; Avnei Nezer 540; Aruch Hashulchan 554:7

[337] Shevet Halevi 4:56; Kinyan Torah 1:118; Tzitz Eliezer 10:25-16; Shraga Hameir 1:59; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:9; Hiskashrus 889 that so he received from several Rabbanei Anash, despite the ruling in Sefer Haminhagim ibid

The reason: Some suggest the entire reason behind the Shiurim recorded in the previous Poskim who are stringent is order to also gain the advantage of being considered to have fasted, and hence be able to count for a Minyan for Kerias Hatorah, and saying Aneinu and the like, however not that one is required to follow these Shiurim. [See Hiskashrus ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid and 566:6; Marcheshes ibid]

[338] Chasam Sofer 157 “Is a sick person not obligated in the fast? Is it completely permitted for him? Did the Sages not only permit him to eat according to need, and if it suffices for him to drink then he may not eat, and if it suffices for him to eat once then he may not eat a second time?”; Maharil Diskin Kuntrus Achron 75

[339] See Michaber 554:6 and so is implied from Setimas Haposkim, and all Poskim who rule that one who is sick and ate cannot be called for an Aliyah. Vetzaruch Iyun!

[340] Orchos Chaim Spinka in name of Neziros Shimshon; Shevet Hakehasi 2:190; Piskeiy Teshuvos 554:9

[341] Kneses Hagedola 2:71; Birkeiy Yosef 556:3; Zechor Leavraham 556:9; Shaareiy Teshuvah 556:1; Moed Lekol Chaiy 49; Kaf Hachaim 556:9

[342] Divrei Malkiel 6:9; Piskeiy Teshuvos 556:4 as is the ruling by an Avel; Regarding an Avel-see Pischeiy Teshuvah 376:2; 391:1 Piskeiy Teshuvos 296:6

[343] Birkeiy Yosef ibid; Shraga Hameir 7:71; Az Nidbaru 11:48

[344] Kaf Hachaim 556:9; Minchas Yitzchak 8:30; Kinyan Torah 2:111

[345] Kaf Hachaim ibid

[346] Admur 617:1; Michaber 317:1; Pesachim 54b; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 15; See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 53

[347] Tzitz Eliezer 17:20; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:292; Piskeiy Teshuvos 617:1; Rav Ovadia Yosef

Opinion of Rav Fisher: Rav Yaakov Yisrael Fisher [brought in Sefer Pnei Baruch; Piskeiy Teshuvos 617 footnote 1] was of the opinion that today pregnant women no longer have to fast, and may eat less than the Shiur on Yom Kippur, due to fear of miscarriage. Practically, this ruling is not accepted amongst Poskim or Moreh Horaas and rather each case must be judged individually by a competent Rav. [Poskim ibid] However, Rav Yaakov Yosef ruled after a thorough investigation amongst doctors, and discovering a dispute amongst them as to the dangers of fasting, that regarding Tishe Beav which is a Rabbinical fast, one may be lenient, while regarding Yom Kippur one is to be stringent.

[348] Some Poskim permit a woman to eat and drink less than the Shiur if she already miscarried twice in the past. [Tzitz Eliezer ibid; Pnei Baruch in name of Orchos Chaim 617:1; Daas Torah 317; Piskeiy Teshuvos 317:1; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 38:6]

[349] Rav SZ”A ruled one may allow a woman to eat less than the Shiur if her Dr. says that the fast can lead to miscarriage, or an early birth that is prior to the 9^th month. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 617 footnote 2]

[350] Admur 617:2; Michaber 617:2; Rambam Yom Kippur 2:9; Mishneh Yuma 82a [8:5]; Ketzos Hashulchan 147:2 p. 7; Shevach Habris 1:9

[351] The reason: The reason for this is because also the fetus has smelled the scent of this food and craves after it and if she doesn’t eat it, it is possible that the fetus will try to exit the womb in order to eat it. This will endanger the life of both the mother and fetus. For this reason, she may be given to eat the food even on Yom Kippur. [Admur ibid]

[352] Issur Viheter Hearuch 60:5; Kaf Hachaim 617:7 in name of Levush; Ketzos Hashulchan ibid; See Erech Hashulchan 617:1 brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid; See also Besamim Rosh 353 that in today’s times we don’t even try to calm her down as it is a matter of danger and we give her to eat right away whether on Yom Kippur war with a non-Kosher  food, brought in Pischeiy Olam 617:2 and Kaf Hachaim ibid

[353] See Toras Hayoledes 53:8

[354] See Toras Hayoeldes 53:9-10

[355] From when is a woman considered pregnant in this regard? There is no difference in this regard whether she is in the beginning or end of her pregnancy. [M”B 617:1] The laws of fasting relevant to a pregnant woman begin to apply from the moment she knows she is pregnant, even if this is prior to the passing of 40 days from the time of conception. [Daas Torah 617:1; Sheivet Halevy 7:80; Nitei Gavriel 38:4] However, there are Poskim who question whether prior to 40 days we allow her to break her fast to prevent miscarriage. [Shaar HaTziyon 617:1; See also M”B 550:3; Kaf Hachaim 550:5]

[356] Ruling of Rav Asher Lemel Cohen

[357] See coming footnotes for explanation

[358] M”B 617:9; Mamar Mordechai 617:3; Alef Lamateh 617:5; Sdei Chemed 3:2; Meishiv Halacha 242; Minchas Yehuda 29; Nitei Gavriel 38:5; so ruled Rav A. L. Cohen

[359] According to Halacha, a child is considered premature, and an 8^th month child, until nine full months have passed from conception. [See Y.D. 374:8; See Meil Tzedaka 5, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 374:9 that we follow the Hebrew months in this regard, and not a number of weeks or days. Thus, since the months vary between 29 and 30 days, determining how many weeks/days need to pass depends on how many days were in each of the nine months of her pregnancy. If, for example, there were five 30-day months and four 29-day months, then it is exactly 38 weeks, which is 266 days. If, however, there were more or less than five 30 day months, then it would be more or less than 38 weeks. Thus, we determine the completion of nine months based on the passing of Hebrew months, and not based on weeks or days.] Medically, however, a child is only considered premature if born prior to week 37 from her last period, which is approximately week 35 from conception. Nonetheless, a child born in week 37-38 from the last period is termed an “early term baby” and quite often the child is not yet developed enough to be born. It is only considered full term in weeks 39-40 from the last period, which fits the Halachic definition of 37-38 weeks from conception. 

[360] See Poskim ibid that compare a woman giving birth to a regular Yoledes within three days, of which the law is that she may eat regularly. However, see Minchas Yehuda and Nitei Gavriel ibid who record she is to eat less than the Shiur. Vetzaruch Iyun.

[361] Piskeiy Teshuvos 317:1 footnote 3; Rav A. L. Cohen

The reason: As there is no danger involved for her or the child if she gives birth in her 9^th month, and hence there is no reason to permit her to eat in order to stop contractions.

[362] Toras Hayoledes 55

[363] Piskeiy Teshuvos 618; Shiurei Torah 3:10

[364] So is implied from Shiureiy Torah ibid towards end that by a food which weighs more than water it is to be less than 30 grams and less than 30 cc.

[365] Shiurei Torah 3:10, unlike Kaf Hachaim [and so rules Yalkut Yosef] who measures all based on weight; See Nishmas Avraham 612:2 footnote 16

[366] As 2:3 of an egg, which is the Shiur of the Kuseves [618:13] is 30 cc. [Shiureiy Torah ibid] Vetzaruch Iyun as Admur there writes 2:3 of an egg or a little more is the Shiur of a Kuseves, hence there is no exact Shiur. In any event seemingly to be on the safe side one is to eat less than that amount, and so is implied in Shiureiy Torah ibid. However, from Piskeiy Teshuvos 618:8 it is implied that one may eat that amount Vetzaruch Iyun.

[367] So is implied from Shiureiy Torah ibid towards end that by a food which weighs more than water it is to be less than 30 grams and less than 30 cc.

[368] See Shiureiy Torah 3:17 footnote 32 [p. 198] for the exact method of how this is to be measured [He Suggests filling the entire mouth with water, spitting it out, and less than half of the measurement is considered the minimum amount that one may have below the Shiur]

[369] Shiureiy Torah ibid

^[370] Chasam Sofer 6:16; M”B 618:21; Shiurei Torah 3:15 [p. 203]; Aruch Hashulchan 202:8; Kaf Hachaim 210:5; Piskeiy Teshuvos 210:1; Sefer Haminhagim ibid and footnotes 342-344;

Opinion of 6-7 minutes: The Tzemach Tzedek [Shaar Hamiluim 1:8-10] records 6-7 minutes regarding the Shiur of Achilas Peras. [Ketzos Hashulchan 36 footnote 5; 59 footnote 4; Shiureiy Torah ibid footnote 35; Sefer Haminhaghim [English] p. 93 regarding Tisha B’av]

[371] Shiureiy Torah ibid

[372] Rav Cohen

[373] M”B 618:21; Rav Cohen

[374] Shiureiy Torah 3:17 footnote 32; Nitei Gavriel 41:5

[375] Sdei Chemed Yom Kippur 3:8; Yeshuos Yaakov 612; Kesav Sofer 111; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 155:6; Shoel Umeishiv Mahdura Daled 1:55; Orchos Chaim 618:1; Eretz Tzevi 88; Kaf Hachaim 554:34 in name of in name of Kesonos Yosef 4, Ikarei Hadaat 29:36, Pischei Olam 554:6 regarding regular fast days; Meishiv Shalom 179; Igros Moshe 3:91; Tzitz Eliezer 10:25; Shevet Halevi 10:89; SSH”K 39:8; Nishmas Avraham 612:7; Toras Hayoledes 52:9 footnote 27; Piskeiy Teshuvos 612:2; Nitei Gavriel 37:23; 39:12-15; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Erech Yom Kippur Volume 3 p. 794; Toras Hayoledes 55:9

See regarding the status of the prohibition of consuming inedible items on Yom Kippur: Admur 612:8 and Michaber 612:6 based on Rambam that it is forbidden; Tur 612 in name of Avi Ezri [i.e. Ravayah] that there is no even rabbinical prohibition involved; Beis Yosef 612 that possibly there is no prohibition even according to Rambam if less than the Shiur; Meishiv Shalom 179 that according to the final ruling of the Michaber [and Admur] who omitted all the above leniency’s, one is to be stringent even by less than the Shiur; Shevet Halevi 10:89 that one who is lenient for the sake of a mitzvah is not to be protested;

[376] Poskim ibid

The reason: One who is bedridden, or weak in his entire body has the Halachic definition of a Choleh Sheiyn Bo Sakana, of which we rule that the Rabbinical prohibitions against taking medicine on Shabbos, and against eating Rabbinical prohibited foods, is lifted. Thus, being that swallowing a bitter pill is only Rabbinically forbidden on Yom Kippur, as it is not a food, and is not being eaten in the normal method, it therefore may be swallowed by an ill person. [ibid]

[377] Rav SZ”A in SSH”K ibid; Nishmas Avraham ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[378] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid

The reason: This is due to two prohibitions 1) The prohibition against eating, which Rabbinically includes even bitter and inedible foods. 2) The prohibition against taking medication on Shabbos and Yom Kippur. 

[379] Igros Moshe ibid based on ruling of Rav Akiva Eiger

The reason: As we view a potential life-threatening illness that can come as a result of not eating, or not taking medicine, as a life-threatening situation, for which one can break his fast on Yom Kippur. [ibid]

[380] Igros Moshe ibid

[381] Nishmas Avraham O.C. 612:7; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Erech Yom Kippur Volume 3 p. 795

[382] Igros Moshe ibid; SSH”K ibid; Nishmas Avraham ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid

[383] Kaf Hachaim 554:34 in name of Poskim regarding Tisha B’av; Heard from Rav Yaakov Yosef that the same applies on Yom Kippur, and so seems Pashut; Nishmas Avraham 5 612:2; SSH”K ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Erech Yom Kippur Volume 3 p. 795 footnotes 340-343

[384] Siddur Admur; Second custom in Admur 605:3; Custom of the Arizal brought in Shaar Hakavanos and Peri Eitz Chaim Shaar Yom Kippurim; M”A 605:2; Darkei Moshe 605:2; Bach 605 in name of Mordechai Katan; Shelah Yuma 235; Elya Zuta 605:4; Tashbatz 125; Bach in name of Mordechaiy Katan; Mateh Efraim 605:2; see Piskeiy Teshuvos 605:1; Shevach Habris 1:16; Nitei Gavriel Yom Kippur 10:2; See Likkutei Sichos 22 p. 59; Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 2:250; Toras Hayoledes 52:10

Ruling of Admur in Shulchan Aruch 605:3: In the Shulchan Aruch 605:3 Admur records a difference in custom and rules as follows: According to the first custom [brought in previous footnotes] that allows exempting many males with one chicken and many females with one chicken, one is only required to take for a pregnant woman two chickens, one male and one female chicken. [Admur ibid; Rama 605:1; M”A 605:2; Mahril] The reason for this is because if the fetus is a male, then he has one male chicken as required, and if it is a female, then it suffices for the mother and fetus to have one female chicken. [Admur ibid; M”A ibid] However according to the second custom mentioned to take a chicken for each family member, a male for a boy, female for a girl, then one is to take for a pregnant woman three chickens, two females and one male. [Admur ibid] 

[385] The reason that a chicken is taken on behalf of the fetus even though it does not require atonement is because the mother may have eaten non-Kosher food during the pregnancy. [Likkutei Sichos 22 p. 60]

[386] Mateh Efraim 605:2; M”B 605:3; See Admur ibid; Rama 605:1; M”A 605:2; Mahril; Levush 605:1

[387] See Likkutei Sichos 22 p. 59; Shaareiy Halacha Uminhag 2:250

[388] The question is that perhaps since this matter is uncommon, and it is in general a doubt whether one needs one chicken per person, then it is not required to take an extra two chickens for the twin.

[389] Kaneh Bosem 2:20

[390] See Hiskashrus 948 footnote 17 that perhaps the atonement for a pregnant woman is not for the fetus but for the woman, and hence once the child is born he needs his own atonement.

[391] Shevet Hakehasi 2:199; Piskeiy Teshuvos 605:2

[392] Kaneh Bosem 2:20

[393] Minchas Yitzchak in a gloss on the above Teshuvah of Kaneh Bosem

[394] Rav Wozner in Koveitz Mibeis Levi 2:17; Piskeiy Teshuvos 605:2

[395] See Mahariy Bruno 12; Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:33; Shaar Hatziyon 551:94; Tzeida Laderech Mamar 1 3:13; Nitei Gavriel 56:20; ; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 21; See Toras Hayoledes 51:13

^[396] M”B 694:5

[397] Rama ibid; Rav Ovadia Bartenura

[398] Tosafus Yom Tov brought in M”A 694:3; M”B 694:5

[399] Hagahos Maimanis writes that women are obligated to give the Half Shekel. The M”A 694:3 however questions this ruling saying he does not know of a source for it. Kaf Hachaim 694:27 explains the source for the Hagahos Maimanis is from the words “Lechaper Al Nafshoseichem” and since women also need atonement therefore, they are also to give.

[400] Daas Torah 694; Orchos Chaim; Leket Yosher (student of Terumos Hadeshen); See Darkei Chaim Veshalom 843; Sheivet Halevy 7:183; Piskeiy Teshuvos 694:5 footnote 31; Sefer Haminhagim p. 172 [English Edition]

Background and Other Opinions: The M”B 694:5 omitted the custom of giving on behalf of one’s wife and female children [although he does write a pregnant woman gives on behalf of her fetus], as rules the M”A 694:3 that women are exempt from giving the half Shekel. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 694:5] So also rules Siddur Yaavetz that one only gives on behalf of his male family members. Nevertheless, despite these opinions, the custom is to give the half Shekel on behalf of all family members, including one’s wife and female children. [Daas Torah 694; Orchos Chaim; Leket Yosher (student of Terumos Hadeshen); See Darkei Chaim Veshalom 843; Sheivet Halevy 7:183; Piskeiy Teshuvos 694:5 footnote 31.]

The Chabad custom: In Sefer Haminhagim p. 172 [English Edition] it is recorded the custom of the Rebbe to give the half Shekel on behalf of his family, including his wife and children. Although there it is stated explicitly that this is not meant as a directive for the public, nevertheless in Sichas Taanis Esther 1989 the Rebbe explicitly stated that the custom is to give for one’s entire household.

[401] M”B 694:5; Poskim brought in previous footnote; Sefer Haminhagim p. 172 [English Edition]

[402] See previous footnote and Poskim there

[403] Darkei Moshe 694:1 “A pregnant woman gives on behalf of her fetus”; Elya Raba brought in M”B 694:5; Kaf Hachaim 694:24

The reason: The above custom to give three half coins even on behalf of a fetus is hinted to from the verse “Zeh Yitnu Kol Haubar” which through a play of words can be translated as fetus. [Darkei Moshe ibid]

[404] Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:28

[405] M”A 554:9 regarding a Yoledes; M”B 551:61; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:41

[406] Kaf Hachaim 551:147

[407] Shaareiy Teshuvah ibid; Kaf Hachaim 551:147

[408] Admur 613:1 and 614:1 regarding Yom Kippur; See Rama 551:16 that only for pleasure is it forbidden; M”A 551:40 regarding Yoledes; Mahariy Bruno 12; Kneses Hagedola 551:23-24; Elya Raba 551:35; Chayeh Adam 133:19; Derech Hachaim 7; Shaareiy Teshuvah 551:33, 37; Kitzur SHU”A 122:12; Ben Ish Chaiy Devarim 16; Kaf Hachaim 551:187; Shaar Hatziyon 551:94; Tzeida Laderech Mamar 1 3:13; Nitei Gavriel 56:20; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Vol. 3 Erech Hirayon p. 21; See Toras Hayoledes 51:13

[409] The reason: It is permitted to bathe for medical purposes as only bathing that is done for pleasure purposes is forbidden. [See Rama ibid; Admur 613:1 and 614:1 regarding Yom Kippur]

[410] Rama 555:2; Tosafus Taanis; Toras Hayoledes 51:17

[411] Aruch Hashulchan Yoreh Deah 387:3 regarding Aveilus of a pregnant woman; Toras Hayoledes 51:14; Piskeiy Teshuvos 559:4;

[412] As they are not doing so for pleasure but simply to remove discomfort.

[413] See Igros Kodesh 18:51; Shulchan Menachem 6:7; Bnei Beischa 33; Shevach Habris 1:18; Nitei Gavriel 56:19

[414] Sefer Zechira p. 109; Sefer Hachaim Segulos Yisrael Mareches Mem 66

[415] Agurah Beahalecha p. 400; Nitei Gavriel 56:19

[416] Igros Kodesh 18:51

[417] Nitei Gavriel 56:19; Bein hametzarim 42:10

[418] Tzeida Laderech Mamar 1 3:13; Nitei Gavriel 56:20

[419] Michaber 13:11; Yevamos 42a

[420] The reason: The Gemara ibid suggests several reasons for this prohibition, the common denominator of all the reasons is because it can jeopardize the safety of the child: The following are the reasons mentioned: a) If she becomes pregnant again from the second husband during her current pregnancy it could mutate and injure the child of the first pregnancy. [This is physically possible, and is called superfetation. Its last recorded occurrence was in 2009 by a couple in Arkansas who became pregnant with a second child several weeks after her first pregnancy.] b) The intercourse of the second husband may injure the child through pressing too much on him. 3) She may become pregnant during nursing, which will diminish her milk and jeopardize the health of the child. The Gemara negates the first two reasons and accepts the third reason as the final reason, and so writes Beis Shmuel 13:20. The Rambam however records the second reason-see Beis Shmuel ibid!

[421] Michaber ibid

[422] Rama ibid

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