Chapter 1: The Mitzvah of Peru Urevu

1. The Mitzvah of Peru Urevu-The general command to get married and have children:[1]

Every man is obligated to marry a woman in order to have children.

The severity of one who does not try to have children:[2] Whoever is not active in trying to have children is likened to a murderer and diminishes the Divine image and causes the Shechinah to ascend from Israel.

Obligation of women:[3] A woman is not obligated in the Biblical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [although she does receive the Mitzvah for assisting her husband in having children[4]]. [Furthermore, some Poskim[5] rule that she is nevertheless obligated in the Mitzvah of Lasheves, to procreate the world.]

2. How many children must one have to fulfill the Mitzvah of having children?[6]

Biblically: When a man fathers a boy and a girl, he fulfills the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [as soon as the child is born[7]]. [If he only fathered one gender, either male or female, then he does not fulfill his obligation even if he has many grandchildren of both genders.[8]] Nonetheless, certain criteria must be met for these children to be valid for the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu.

1. The children can procreate:[9] In order for a child that is born to be valid towards one’s fulfillment of Peru Urevu, the child must be physically capable of bearing children. This applies for both the son and daughter. Thus, if the son is a Saris [impotent] or the daughter is an Aylanis[10], they are invalid in counting towards one’s fulfillment of the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. [It however is not necessary for the son and daughter to actually have children, in order to be valid for their father’s Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. Thus, even if the son or daughter marries a spouse who cannot have children, or does not get married at all, the father fulfills his obligation.[11]]
2. The children do not pass away in the father’s lifetime:[12] If both the lone son and daughter passed away [in the lifetime of the father[13]], then the father only fulfills the mitzvah of Peru Urevu if his deceased children left him a male and female grandchild, having at least one child of different gender from each the son and daughter. Thus, whether the daughter left him a son or daughter, or whether the son left him a daughter or son, he fulfills his obligation so long as he has a son from one child and a daughter from another child. It does not suffice if only one deceased child left him children, even if that child left him a son and daughter, if the other deceased child did not have any children. It likewise does not suffice if a son and daughter left him children of the same gender, such as two sons or two daughters.[14] [However some Poskim[15] are lenient and rule that it suffices if he has two male grandchildren, one from each child. Furthermore, some Poskim[16] rule that even having female grandchildren suffices, if he has one from each child. According to the former approach, if one’s only son or daughter passed away then the child who passed away is not considered as part of the necessary two children to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, unless that child left a child of their gender, and one in total has descendants who are male and female. Thus, for example, if the son passed away and left a son as a child, then that Grandson together with his daughter are considered part of his fulfillment of the mitzvah. Likewise, if the daughter passed away and left the daughter as a child, then the son and granddaughter together help him fulfill his mitzvah. However, if the lone son who passed away left only daughters, or the lone daughter who passed away left only sons, then he does not fulfill the Mitzvah if he only has descendants of one gender.[17]]
3. The mental state of the child:[18] A child who was born a Mamzer [and is known to the public as such[19]], Shoteh, or Cheresh, is valid to count towards the fulfillment of the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. Certainly, a child who is still below Bar/Bas Mitzvah counts towards the obligation.
4. A Jewish born child:[20] [If a Jew fathered children with a gentile woman, he does not fulfill his obligation of having children.[21] Seemingly, this applies even if the children later convert.[22]] However, if a gentile converted together with his family, then if he has a son and daughter who converted, he fulfills his obligation. [Furthermore, some Poskim[23] rule that he fulfills his obligation even if they do not convert.]

5. The child is born from penetrative intercourse:[24] Some Poskim[25] question whether a child that was fathered without penetrative intercourse [i.e. Nisabra Bambatya; IUI; IVF; Sperm donor] counts as part of one’s obligation of Peru Urevu. Other Poskim[26] conclude that it is valid.

The Rabbinical Mitzvah of Liareiv:[27] The above minimal obligation of having one son and one daughter is only in regard to the Biblical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, however, Rabbinically, even if one already has children and fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, he Rabbinically remains obligated in the Mitzvah of Liareiv, to further procreate the world.[28]

3. By what age must one get married to try to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu:[29]

One may not pass 20 years of age without being married [and is thus to place effort to be married prior to reaching 20 years of age].[30] One who does not get married by 20 years old transgresses and nullifies a Biblical positive command.[31] [If, however, he is not married by twenty years old due to matters beyond his control, then he does not transgress any prohibition.[32] Likewise, some Poskim[33] rule it is permitted to delay marriage until 24 years old in order to find a proper Zivug, or due to other reasons.] One who has passed the age of 20 and does not wish to get married, then [in previous times[34]] the Beis Din would coerce him to marry in order to fulfill the Mitzvah of having children.[35] However, in today’s times, one is no longer coerced by Beis Din to get married.[36] 

Delaying marriage past 20 due to learning Torah: If one is involved in Torah learning and toils in it, and fears to marry a woman lest he be required to toil after sustenance and thus nullify his Torah learning, then it is permitted for him to delay getting married [even past the age of 20].[37] [Some Poskim[38] rule he may delay marriage for as long as he wants, so long as getting married will force him to get a job and thus prevent him from learning. He may likewise choose to marry a woman who is infertile in order so he can dedicate his whole life for Torah learning.[39] Other Poskim[40] however rule there is a limit to this matter, and one cannot delay marriage forever.[41] Some Poskim[42] rule that this is until 24 years of age. However, according to Admur, he may delay marriage until he learns and remembers the entire oral Torah in a summarized fashion[43], if he is capable of doing so.[44] Practically, in many Litvishe Yeshivos the custom was to delay marriage until the early 30’s. However, the practice in Yeshivas Tomchei Temimim was and is to get married in the early 20’s, and so is the proper approach.[45] Chabad Rabbanim and Mashpi’im around the world have proclaimed the necessity for Bochurim to begin Shiduchim as soon as they complete their study in Yeshiva Gedola. At age 20 they are to begin their search for a wife, and only those who are truly dedicated to assiduous Torah study may delay for another one to two years.[46]]

Delaying marriage forever for the sake of learning:[47] Furthermore, one whose soul yearns to learn Torah constantly like Ben Azaiy, and he attached himself to it his entire life, and thus did not get married, he carries no sin for doing so.[48] [Some Poskim[49] rule this applies even if getting married would not trouble him from his learning, such as he is wealthy. However, Admur negates this opinion, and implies if one is able to both constantly fulfill his Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah and get married, then he must do so.[50] Some Poskim[51] rule that initially, even one who desires to learn like Ben Azaiy must get married, and it is only after the fact, if he did not marry, that he carries no sin. Furthermore, some Poskim[52] rule that a person of the stature and nature of Ben Azaiy is not found at all today. However, from Admur[53], it is implied anyone may even initially choose to follow Ben Azaiy and not get married in order so he can constantly review his Torah learning and not come to forget parts of the Oral Torah and lose his Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah.[54] Nonetheless, even in his opinion, the Sages advised one to get married once he has completed his Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah, even if there is worry that he may come to forget.[55] If however there is no worry of forgetting the Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah, and he simply wants to delay marriage in order to continue learning the depth and Pilpul, then it is forbidden to do so, even according to Ben Azaiy.[56]]

4. Must one divorce his wife if he has been married for 10 years without children?[57]

From the letter of the law, if a man has been married for ten years[58] and has not yet had children[59], then in certain circumstances[60] the couple must get divorced[61] and are forced to do so by the Beis Din.[62] Nevertheless, the age-old custom of several generations is not to be particular about matches, and hence we no longer force such a couple to get divorced when they do not have children [and rather the couple remains married[63]].[64] [Many Gedolei Yisrael, and G-d fearing Jews, have remained married after ten years despite not having children.]

Why may one remain married if the marriage cannot bear children? The Rebbe related the following in a letter addressed to a couple who was childless after ten years:[65] It is written in the holy Sefarim, in particular in the Sifrei Kabalah[66], that although one must do all that is necessary to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, there are certain cases of exception in which G-d exempts one from doing so. The reason for this is because the person has a different purpose in his life [that G-d has destined for him]. The Shlah Hakadosh[67] writes in the name of Rav Shlomo Alkabetz that Hashem sends certain souls into the world for a specific Tikkun, or leadership positions, which exempts them from having children. Not only do they not need to have children, and will not get punished for not having children, but even if they have children, the children will not spiritually be considered as theirs for any purpose. This is why Ben Azaiy did not have children, as his purpose was solely for Torah learning.   Raising other children:[68] One who raises and educates a child is considered as if he gave birth to them, even if one is not their biological parent. This is learned from the Torah itself, from where we see that the holy foremothers gave their husbands other wives in marriage in order to raise the children that they will bear. Accordingly, a couple who cannot have children may adopt another’s child and be considered as if they gave birth to him. [However, prior to doing so, one must be aware of all the laws involved with an adopted child such as Yichud, affectionate touch etc.] Maaseh Shehaya The Baal Shem Tov can argue on the Mishneh:[69] A Chassid once came to the Tzemach Tzedek, asking for a blessing, and the Tzemach Tzedek replied that only the Baal Shem Tov can affect such a miracle. The Tzemach Tzedek related that the Baal Shem Tov was so powerful that he could argue on a Mishneh. Which Mishneh? The Mishneh which states that after ten years of marriage without children, a divorce is necessary, and in many cases the Baal Shem Tov effected that the couple have children even after ten years.    The Rebbe convinces a couple to stay married:[70] One morning in New York, in the early the 50’s or 60’s, the Rebbe took an unexpected ride with his wife the Rebbetzin. The curious Bochurim followed the Rebbe’s car to see where it would be heading. You see, in the early years the Rebbe was accustomed to walk home after Davening, and when the Bochurim saw the Rebbe get into the car with his wife they knew that something was astray. After about 20 minutes of driving, the Rebbe’s car pulled up to a driveway in front of a home in the Williamsburg neighborhood. The Rebbe and Rebbetzin left the car and entered the house. After the passing of a considerable amount of time the Rebbe and Rebbetzin exited the house and returned to Crown Heights. The curious Bochurim, knowing no limits to quenching their curiosity, knocked on the door of the house to try to receive some hint as to what transpired in the home. A middle-aged couple answered the door and asked how they can be of help. The Bochurim replied that they wanted to know as for what purpose the Rebbe visited their home. “Which Rebbe?” asked the couple. “The Lubavitcher Rebbe”, answered the Bochurim. “You mean that the couple who just visited my home was the Lubavitcher Rebbe and Rebbetzin?” asked the couple in astonishment. “Yes indeed it was,” replied the Bochurim, “and what is it that they told you?” Please come in and have a seat and we will explain. You see my wife and I are married for over ten years and we have not merited having children. We have thus seriously considered getting divorced, as is the ruling of the Shulchan Aruch. Today this respected couple came to our door, looking like a Rabbi and Rebbetzin, and persuaded us not to get divorced. The Rabbi explained that according to Halacha there is no need to get divorced today, and that even he and his wife are married for more than ten years without children, and they still remain married despite the letter of the law. The couple convinced us not to get divorced, and now I see that it was none other than the Lubavitcher Rebbe and his wife who came to visit us. All those present were left in astonishment seeing the Rebbe’s and Rebbetzin’s care for a couple they did not know, and how they troubled themselves to meet with them to help save their marriage.

5. Mitzvah of Onah-Marital relations:

One who has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, is Biblically obligated in intercourse in order so his wife conceive and he fulfill the Mitzvah of having children, independent of his personal Onah obligations that he has to his wife.[71] Thus, if a husband withholds intimacy even one time from the required frequency, he transgresses the negative command of “Onasa Lo Yigara.” Likewise, if his wife can become pregnant, he also transgresses the Biblical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, or the Rabbinical obligation of Lasheves.

Intending to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu during intimacy:[72] [When pregnancy is viable[73], in addition to intending to fulfill the Biblical command of Onah] one is to [also] intend to have intercourse to fulfill the command of his creator, that he have children who will grow up to learn Torah and fulfill Mitzvos amongst the Jewish people. [This indeed is the entire purpose of intimacy, and is its main reason of lust.[74] This intent merits that G-d will bless the wife with righteous children.[75] This intent is relevant even for the wife, even though women are technically exempt from Peru Urevu.[76] One is to tell his wife to have this intent, to draw down a holy soul with their unity.[77] This intent applies eve if one has already fulfilled his Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, as nevertheless the Rabbinical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, also known as Liareiv, to have more children, still applies.[78]] Even when one intends to do so in order so he have children, if one does so with intent that he birth sons that can serve him and inherit him, nevertheless it is not praiseworthy. Rather he should intend to have children who serve G-d.[79]

How often must one have intercourse in order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [i.e. one boy and one girl]: From the letter of the law, one is not obligated to have relations more often than his minimum required Onah that he is obligated towards his wife, as explained in our Sefer Kedushas Habayis Chapter 2 Halacha 2, even if he has not yet fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu.[80] However, practically, if one has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, then even if he is a Torah scholar he is to have intimacy as often as is necessary for his wife to get pregnant [during her ovulation period, which is usually between 12 to 16 days after the start of her period, in normal cycles of 28 days[81]].[82] [Some suggest having relations three times during the week of Mikveh, having relations every other day.[83]]

Torah scholar: Some Poskim[84] rule that the minimum Onah of once a week for a Torah scholar only applies if one has already fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, otherwise it is forbidden for him to forfeit the Mitzvah and he is to have intimacy more often even if he is a Torah scholar. Practically, however, we do not rule like this opinion, although some suggest having intimacy during the weekdays in which she has a possibility of becoming pregnant, which is between 12 to 16 days prior to her set period.[85]

Traveling away from home:[86] If the husband has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, then he may not travel away from home in a way that will diminish the Onah time, even if he receives her permission.

Mechila of wife if did not yet fulfill Peru Urevu:[87] The ability for the wife to forgive her Onah only applies if the husband has already fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [i.e. one boy and one girl[88]], otherwise, he is [Biblically] obligated to have intercourse with her at every interval of his Onah obligations [even if he desires to abstain for reasons of Teshuvah and Torah learning[89], or due to becoming a Baal Keri[90]]. [Some Poskim[91] rule that this obligation due to Peru Urevu applies even when she is nursing, within 24 months of birth, as nevertheless, she could become pregnant, and hence her Mechila does not suffice. However, when she is pregnant, there is no further Onah obligation due to Peru Urevu during her pregnancy, and hence he may abstain from intimacy if his wife is Mochel.[92] Likewise, if one’s wife is past menopause, or has lost her womb r”l, and thus can no longer have children, then he may abstain from intimacy if his wife is Mochel even if he has not yet fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu.[93] Some Poskim[94] learn that this obligation applies even if the man is married to two wives, nevertheless, neither of his wives may be Mochel until he fulfills the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu.]

May a husband have intercourse with his wife against her will for the sake of fulfilling the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu? No, even when the intent of the intercourse is to impregnate his wife and fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, he may not do so against her will. Nonetheless, he is obligated to try to appease her until she acquiesces to the intimacy in order to fulfill the Mitzvah.   Is a blessing recited prior or post marital intercourse? No, as explained in Kedushas Habayis Chapter 2 Halacha 1A in Q&A.

6. Family planning-Contraceptives and Birth Control:[95]

It is beyond the scope of this Sefer to delve into the subject of family planning and the use of birth control, and IYH a full treatise on the subject will feature in a future Title. The use of a contraception touches upon several possible prohibitions, including 1) Zera Levatala, 2) Transgressing Peru Urevu or Liareiv, 3) Prohibition of castration. This is dependent on the type of contraceptive being used, the number of children one already has, the medical and mental state of the mother, and the reason for why a contraceptive is desired. Aside for this possible letter of the law Halachic impediment, there are also Hashkafic reasons to abstain from using a contraceptive even when there is room to be lenient according to Halacha, as is well known that the Rebbe[96] and other Gedolei Yisrael urged couples to have large families and avoid family planning. Practically, the general approach today amongst accepted Rabbanim is to only permit the use of a contraceptive if there is a real and legitimate physical and/or mental health reason applicable for doing so, or if it may affect the nursing of a newborn child. Every couple who is contemplating using a contraceptive is to bring up the matter to a qualified Rav, explain to him the reasons for why a contraceptive is being considered, and if deemed valid, to then ask his Halachic direction as to which type of contraceptive may be used and is recommended to be used, in the case of their predicament.  

Q&A May a couple avoid intercourse during her days of ovulation in order so she does not become pregnant?[97] If he has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [i.e. one boy and one girl] then it is forbidden to do so, and he must try to have relations specifically during the days of ovulation so she can conceive. However, if he has already fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, then if there is a justifiable reason such if the pregnancy is difficult for her or she has much difficulty raising her children, then it is permitted to abstain from intimacy during her ovulation period and perform Onah during the other days in which she cannot become pregnant. It is however forbidden to abstain from intimacy during her ovulation period without a justifiable reason, as even after fulfilling the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu one remains obligated in the Mitzvah of Sheves. Practically, a competent Rav is to be contacted in all cases.

7. Bathing after intercourse:[98]

A woman who is within three days of having marital relations, then if she had relations in close proximity to after her Mikveh night or her expected period, then she is not to [take a hot bath, at any time of the year, or] immerse in a Mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur.[99] [See footnote.[100]] If, however, she is within three days of relations that did not take place in proximity of her immersion or her period, then she may [bathe, swim any time of the year and] immerse on Erev Yom Kippur. Prior to her immersion, she is to thoroughly clean out her vaginal area with hot water in order to expel all the seed from her body.[101] Women who are not within three days of marital relations are not required to clean themselves from possible semen prior to the immersion. [In all cases she may take a shower and go swimming in cold or warm water.[102]]

8. Fertility treatments:[103]

It is beyond the scope of this Sefer to delve into the subject of fertility treatments and IYH a full treatise on the subject will feature in a future volume. Fertility treatment may touch upon several Halachic issues, including 1) Zera Levatala, 2) Eishes Ish; 3) Mamzeirus, 4) Yichus; 5) Medical risks. This is dependent on the type of treatment being used, some of which do not touch upon any Halachic issues [i.e. pills to help with ovulation], and on the contrary are considered a Mitzvah to do, and others which touch upon the above Halachic issues. Aside for the Halachic issues involved, there may also be Hashkafic reasons to abstain from fertility treatment or certain types of them, even when there is room to be lenient according to Halacha. It is well known that the Rebbe in his time was not forthcoming with directing couples to have certain types of fertility treatments. Practically, every couple who is contemplating fertility treatment is to bring up the matter to a qualified Rav for guidance. There are a number of organizations, under the auspices of Gedolei Yisrael and Gedolei Haposkim [i.e. Machon Puah], who help couples with fertility treatment, both in Halachic and medical guidance, as well as in financial support, to which a Rav can refer couples to. To note however, that not all treatments offered under these organizations have the consent of all Poskim, as well as some treatments are only permitted after a certain amount of time has passed without the couple meriting to have children, and hence the couple is to speak with their Rav for direction as to which treatments are an option for them to do.  

Fertility treatment in Halacha:[104]

The three main types of fertility treatments are 1) medicines to assist fertility, 2) surgical procedures, and 3) assisted conception. Its Halachic perspective is dependent on the type of treatment being used. Some treatments do not touch upon any Halachic issues [i.e. medicines to help with ovulation[105], sperm count, and/or other fertility drugs[106]], and on the contrary are considered a Mitzvah to do. Others touch upon several potential Halachic issues.

Potential Halachic issues: Male fertility testing touches upon the issue of Zera Levatala.[107] Fertility treatment through assisted conception [i.e. IUI[108], IVF[109], Surrogacy and donor eggs[110], donor sperm[111]] may touch upon any of the following Halachic issues: 1) Zera Levatala[112], 2) Nidda[113], 3) Eishes Ish[114]; 4) Mamzeirus[115], 5) Yichus[116]; 6) Medical risks[117]. Aside for the Halachic issues involved, there may also be Hashkafic reasons to abstain from fertility treatment or certain types of them, even when there is room to be lenient according to Halacha. Practically, most Poskim and Rabbanim give their consent for IUI and IVF treatment between the couple, under mitigating circumstances and condition.[118] However, the mainstream rabbinic approach is to negate the use of donor sperm, donor egg, and surrogacy, with some being open for cases of exception.[119]

Halachic guidance: Due to the above, every couple who is contemplating fertility treatment is to bring up the matter to a qualified Rav for guidance. There are a number of organizations, under the auspices of Gedolei Yisrael and Gedolei Haposkim [i.e. Machon Puah], who help couples with fertility treatment, both in Halachic and medical guidance, as well as in financial support, to which a Rav can refer couples to. To note however, that not all treatments offered under these organizations have the consent of all Poskim, as well as some treatments are only permitted after a certain amount of time has passed without the couple meriting to have children[120], and hence the couple is to speak with their Rav for direction as to which treatments are an option for them to do.

The Rebbe’s approach:[121] It is well known that the Rebbe was not forthcoming with directing couples to have certain types of fertility treatments [i.e. IUI, IVF] and on the contrary protested against those who informed him that they will be doing the procedure due to in his opinion it being Halachically forbidden.[122] Nonetheless, it is claimed that in the year 1992 the Rebbe gave his consent, or at least withheld his protest, for artificial insemination to be performed under certain conditions, and under the strict supervision of a Rav.[123]

9. Abortion of a Jewish fetus:[124]

*It is important to note, that the below discussion is limited specifically to abortion of a fetus of a Jewish mother. The abortion of a fetus of a Gentile mother follows different bylaws, often being more stringent than that of a Jewish fetus, and hence no laws relevant to an abortion of a Gentile fetus should be derived from the below article. Furthermore, even regarding the abortion of a Jewish fetus, the below is a general overview on the subject, and all Jewish Mothers, Jewish doctors, or gentiles who have accepted to keep the seven Noahide laws, are to contact a Rav who is expert in these laws prior to performing an abortion r”l.

A. The general law:

Although there is major debate amongst the Poskim[125] as to the exact Halachic source[126], reason[127], and level of severity[128], of the act of abortion of a Jewish fetus, practically, there is consensus amongst almost all the Poskim that is forbidden to be done for one reason or another, and so is the final ruling of today’s Poskim that it constitutes a Biblical prohibition.[129] All in all, irrelevant of the technical legal debate, Judaism views abortions very seriously, considering it tantamount to murder[130], and hence is only permitted to be done in very limited situations, such as when the pregnancy poses a danger to the life of the mother.

B. Cases of possible exception:

Practically, whether an abortion may take place is depending on the following factors:

• The number of weeks of gestation [pregnancy] and if 40 days have already passed.
• How the pregnancy took place [i.e. rape versus under consent].
• If it is the result of forbidden relations [incest, adultery, out of wedlock].
• The mental state of the mother to be and if there is any serious risk to her mental or physical state.[131]
• If there any blemishes or defects in the fetus.
• If the mother to be is Jewish or gentile.

For the sake of saving the life of the mother:[132] It is permitted to abort a fetus of a Jewish woman in the event that the pregnancy poses a danger of life for the mother. However, in a case of questionable danger for the mother, then some Poskim[133] conclude that an abortion may not be performed.

Stage of the pregnancy-Within the first 40 days from conception:[134] A fetus within the first 40 days from conception is considered like mere fluids and hence an abortion which takes place within 40 days from conception is not included in the murder prohibition, although other lighter prohibitions may apply.

Illegitimate pregnancies: Some Poskim[135] rule that abortions are permitted by illegitimate pregnancies which result from a relationship that is Biblically forbidden [i.e. incest, adultery]. Other Poskim[136] rule that abortions are forbidden even in such a case. According to all opinions, the prohibition applies to pregnancies that occur out wedlock, or to teen pregnancies, whether consensual or not.

Fetal anomaly: Some Poskim[137] raise the possibility of allowance to abort through medication, fetuses which contain detected anomalies which would cause the child to be dysfunctional and mentally incapacitated when born.[138] Likewise, based on the same approach, a fetus which is detected to be deaf and mute would be allowed to be aborted. Nonetheless, the vast majority of Poskim[139] completely reject this notion and rule that abortions are Biblically prohibited even to defected fetuses. Furthermore, even according to the former approach, it would only be allowed if the defect is certain, and only if the abortion is done through medication, and practically, even they conclude that it is not to be done.[140] This especially applies to a gentile fetus.[141] Nonetheless, some Poskim[142] permit the abortion of fetuses which contain such abnormalities and defects that they will not be able to live at all once born, and hence they are not considered as a life even when they are in the womb.

The form of abortion-surgical versus medicinal:[143] It is debatable whether the taking of an abortion pill is Biblically forbidden by a Jew or only Rabbinical. It is unclear if this debate applies likewise to a gentile fetus.

10. Not everyone is meant to have children:

It is written in the holy Sefarim, in particular in the Sifrei Kabalah[144], that although one must do all that is necessary to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, there are certain cases of exception in which G-d exempts one from doing so. The reason for this is because the person has a different purpose in his life [that G-d has destined for him].[145] The Shlah Hakadosh[146] writes in the name of Rav Shlomo Alkabetz that Hashem sends certain souls into the world for a specific Tikkun, or leadership positions, which exempts them from having children. Not only do they not need to have children, and will not get punished for not having children, but even if they have children, the children will not spiritually be considered as theirs for any purpose. This is why Ben Azaiy did not have children, as his purpose was solely for Torah learning.

11. Adoption-The Mitzvah and Halachic ramifications:[147]

The greatness and Mitzvah: One who raises and educates a child is considered as if he gave birth to them[148], even if one is not their biological parent. This is learned from the Torah itself, from where we see that the holy foremothers gave their husbands other wives in marriage in order to raise the children that they will bear. Certainly, it is a great mitzvah to raise an orphan and one who does so is eligible to receive special reward.[149] Accordingly, a couple who cannot have children may adopt another’s child and be considered as if they gave birth to him.[150] However, prior to doing so, one must be aware of all the laws involved with an adopted child, including:[151]

Adopting a Jewish child, versus a gentile child, versus a Jewish child born to nonobservant parents:[152] In a number of letters, the Rebbe recommended couples who are looking for adoption to adopt a child who was born through Torah observant parents who kept the laws of family purity, and mentioned that doing so is a Segula for having future children.[153] He completely negated the consideration of adopting a gentile child.[154] This however, only applies in the event that adopting a Jewish child born to Torah observant parents is available. However, in the event that it is not possible to adopt a child born to Torah observant parents, then in the Rebbe’s opinion, it is better to adopt a gentile child who will then be converted, then to adopt a Jewish child born to non-Torah observant parents.[155]

Conversion:[156] When adopting a gentile child, the child must go through conversion in order to be considered Jewish.[157] If there is question as to whether his mother is Jewish, then one must consult with a competent Rav as to whether the child should be converted and how. Conversion is especially necessary for such a child in the event the child will grow up with in the Jewish community and the chances of assimilation are high. Such a child must be educated according to Torah and mitzvot.[158] If the child goes through conversion below the age of 12 for a girl and 13 for a boy, then the finalization of this conversion is dependent on the child’s consent to continue observing Torah and mitzvot after they reach the age of 12 and 13[159], after being informed that they were not born Jewish.[160] Accordingly, adopting a gentile child and having the child go through conversion, takes the risk of him becoming not Jewish when he or she reaches the age of consent.

Yichud and affectionate touch [hugging and kissing]:[161] It is forbidden for a parent and an adopted child of opposite gender to be in Yichud, or hug and kiss, once the child reaches the age of Yichud, [which is three years old for a girl and nine years old for a boy[162]].[163] However, some Poskim[164] have been Milameid Zechus for those who are lenient in this matter if they were adopted prior to them reaching the age of Yichud prohibition. Practically, most Poskim[165] completely negate this opinion, and the Rebbe’s position on this matter was clear, that Yichud and hugging and kissing between the adoptive parent and child is forbidden irrelevant as to the age of the child when the adoption took place.[166] The Rebbe pressed for this matter to be publicized. Practically, most God-fearing adoptive parents are careful in this matter.[167]

Informing the child that they are adopted: The Poskim[168] rule that one is required to reveal to the child that he is adopted when he reaches of age. This applies even if the child was adopted from Jewish parents in order to prevent incest and applies certainly to a gentile born child in order so he can accept his conversion upon becoming an adult. However, from some sources it is possible to learn that there is no obligation to reveal to the Jewish born child that he is adopted.[169] Nonetheless, it is possible that the sources refer only to a lack of necessity to publicize the matter to others and not to a lack of necessity to inform the child himself.

_____________________________________

[1] Michaber E.H. 1:1; Yevamos 63b

[2] Michaber ibid; Yevamos 63b-64a

[3] Michaber 1:13; Rambam Ishus 15:16; Mishneh Yevamos 65b; Ran Kiddushin chapter 2; Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 1:4

[4] See Ran Kiddushin chapter 2 that she receives a Mitzvah for helping the husband achieve his Mitzvah

[5] M”A O.C. 153:9; Beis Shmuel 1:2; Tosafus Bava Basra 13; Brought and negated in Aruch Hashulchan ibid; See Yabia Omer 3:20-33

[6] Michaber E.H. 1:5; Beis Hillel in Mishneh Yevamos 61b

Other opinions: Some hold that in order to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu one must father two sons. [Beis Shamaiy ibid]

[7] See Rama 1:6 that the Mitzvah is fulfilled even with a Katan

[8] Beis Shmuel 1:10

[9] Michaber 1:5; Braisa Yevamos ibid

[10] An Aylanis comes from the term Ayal, which means a male ram. A woman who has the nature of a male, and thus does not grow breasts , and her voice is thick like a male, and her vaginal area does not protrude like other woman, is considered an Aylanis. [Pirush ibid]

[11] Chelkas Mechokeik 1:6; Beis Shmuel 1:8

Other opinions: Some Poskim question whether the father fulfills his obligation if the son and daughter do not have children, such as they did not get married or married a spouse who cannot have children. [Bnei Ahuva 15:1; Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:8]

[12] Michaber 1:6; Rambam Ishus 15:5

[13] Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:8 based on Chelkas Mechokeik 1:6 and Beis Shmuel 1:8 who rule it is not necessary for them to have children to validate the father’s Mitzvah.

[14] Implication of Michaber ibid and Rambam ibid; Beis Shmuel 1:9; Tur Y.D. 392; Semag Asei 49; Semak 284; Perisha 1:17; Bach 1:5

[15] Tosafus Yevamos 62b, brought in Beis Shmuel ibid and Chelkas Mechokeik 1:7

[16] Our Girsa in Tur 1, brought in Beis Shmuel ibid; Shiltei Giborim Yevamos 19b; Chelkas Mechokeik 1:7

[17] Beis Shmuel 1:10; Taz 1:8; However, see Chelkas Mechokeik 1:7 who is in doubt in this matter

[18] Rama 1:6

[19] See Sefer Chassidim 500; Beis Shmuel 1:11

[20] Michaber 1:7; Rambam Ishus

[21] Maharashdam 1:305; Yad Aaron 1:11; Minchas Chinuch; Imrei Dovid 100; See regarding Kibud Av Vaeim that the child of a Jewish father and a maidservant [i.e., Shifcha Kenanis] or a Gentile woman [is not considered Jewish and hence] is not liable [for hitting or cursing] his father or mother. [Michaber 241:8; Rambam Mamrim 5:9] Likewise, this child who is a Gentile is not obligated in the laws of honoring his parents, neither his Jewish father nor Gentile mother. This applies even if the child later converts to Judaism. [Rabbeinu Yerucham 1:4; Minchas Chinuch Mitzvah 33; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Kibud Av Vaeim Vol. 26 p. 409]

[22] See regarding Kibud Av Vaeim brought in previous footnote

[23] Chelkas Mechokeik 1:8 in name of Maharil 223; See Beis Shmuel 1:12

[24] See Mishneh Limelech Ishus 15:4; Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:9

[25] Chelkas Mechokeik 1:8; Taz 1:8

[26] Beis Shmuel 1:10 based on Bach Y.D. 195

[27] Shulchan Menachem 6:1

[28] See Michaber E.H. 1:8; Beis Shmuel 1:1 and 14-15; Taz E.H. 1:1; Rambam Ishus 15:16; Yevamos 62b; See Likkutei Sichos 30:264 for a dispute if the Mitzvah is due to Liareiv or is a Rabbinical command of Peru Urevu and that according to the Rambam ibid there exists a Rabbinical obligation of Peru Urevu, and that one fulfills the Biblical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu by every additional child.

[29] Michaber E.H. 1:3

[30] Michaber ibid; Rambam Ishus 15:2; Kiddushin 29b “Until twenty years Hashem waits for a man to marry. When he reaches age 20 and is still not married, Hashem says let his bones swell.”

The reason: As it takes up to five years to learn the [entire Talmud], and in previous times they would learn with the children five years of Mishneh from age 10, and 5 years of Talmud, which are the Mitzvos with their reasons in a summarized fashion, [and hence by age 20 they completed their Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah]. Hence, since there is no longer a need to delay marriage past 20 years old due to Torah learning, therefore one who went past age 20 without getting married transgressed the Biblical positive command of Peru Urevu. [Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1] Alternatively, the reason is because once one turns 20 years old he is liable for Heavenly punishment. [Aruch Hashulchan 1:11]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one may delay marriage until 22 years of age. [See Shaiy Lamoreh 1 that the Peri Chadash got married at 22, and this is based on opinion of Rava in Kiddushin ibid]

[31] Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1; Rambam Ishus 15:2

[32] Aruch Hashulchan 1:11

[33] Maharikash, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:5

[34] Rama ibid

[35] Michaber ibid; Tur in name of Rosh

[36] Rama ibid

[37] Michaber Y.D. 246:2; E.H. 1:3; Kiddushin ibid “Learn Torah and then get married”; Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1

The reason: If one gets married prior to learning Torah, he will be under financial burden to support his wife and children, and will thus be unable to study Torah as much. Now, although one must stop learning in order to fulfill a positive command, this only refers to a positive command that can be fulfilled momentarily, as one can shortly afterwards resume his Torah learning. However, if one were to get married, then he would be unable to continue learning at all, as he must now sustain his family. [Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1]

[38] Beis Shmuel 1:5 in implication of Rambam; Rav Akiva Eiger 1 in name of Maharam Mintz 42

[39] Chochmas Shlomo based on Beis Shmuel ibid

[40] Rosh Kiddushin 1:42, brought in Tur E.H. 1 and Beis Shmuel ibid; Levush 1; Rashal Kiddushin; Aruch Hashulchan 1:13; See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1 who learns in Rashi and the Rambam that the limitation is five years for Mishneh and  five years for Talmud

[41] The reason: As this allowance was only given to Ben Azaiy. [Rosh ibid] The Beis Shmuel ibid explains that the novelty of Ben Azaiy is that even if getting married would not disturb him from his learning, such as if he is wealthy, he is still not required to get married.

[42] Rashal Kiddushin; Aruch Hashulchan 1:13; Sefer Hamitzvos of Chofetz Chaim “Until 25 years of age”

[43] This includes all of the Jewish laws, all the 613 commands together with all their details, Biblical and Rabbinical, and their summarized reasons. [Admur Hilchos Talmud Achron 3:1] This includes even knowledge of those sections of laws that are not applicable or not practical for all people, such as Kodshim, Zeraim, Nashim and Nezikin. However, one may not delay marriage simply for achieving greater depth of understanding and Pilpul in Torah. [Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1]

[44] Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1; See Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1 that one cannot delay marriage forever simply to further his in depth understanding of the Torah, as this is a study that has no end, and in any event one will never reach the final depth of his research.

[45] Igros Kodesh 10:202; 14:30 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:95]

[46] See the letter included which was signed by Rabbinical leaders, Mashpim and Roshei Yeshiva’s from various Chabad communities.

[47] Michaber 1:4; Rambam Ishus 15:3; Ben Azaiy in Yevamos 63b; See Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1 that even the Chachamim agree with Ben Azaiy, and hence the Rambam and Michaber rule that one has the option of doing like him; See Aruch Hashulchan 1:14 that the Rif omitted this ruling and in truth did get married, and possibly it was literally Sakanas Nefashos for Ben Azaiy to stop learning Torah, and therefore he could not get married.

[48] The reason: As one has a constant Mitzvah of Yedias Hatorah, and if he gets married and has no time to review, he will come to forget his Torah learning. Thus, one can choose to not get married in order so he review his Torah learning his entire life and not come to forget any aspect of it. This is why Ben Azaiy did not marry, as he feared he would forget his Torah learning. Now, although we rule that one must stop his Torah learning in order to fulfill a passing Mitzvah, this is only in a case that one can then return to his Torah learning, however if the Torah learning of Yedias Hatorah will be pushed off forever, then one is not required to stop to perform the Mitzvah. [Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1]

[49] Beis Shmuel 1:5

[50] Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1

[51] Taz 1:6

[52] Aruch Hashulchan 1:14

[53] Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1

[54] The reason: See previous footnotes for reason in Admur

[55] See lengthy explanation in Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1 and how Admur learns this in the Rosh

[56] Implication of Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1 and Kuntrus Achron 3:1

The reason: One cannot delay marriage forever simply to further his in depth understanding of the Torah, as this is a study that has no end, and in any event one will never reach the final depth of his research. [Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah Kuntrus Achron 3:1]

[57] Michaber and Rama E.H. 154:10; Rama E.H. 1:3; Mishneh and Gemara Yevamos 64a

[58] From when are the years counted? The following times is not included as part of the ten years: Business trips; illness of husband or wife; imprisoned. [Michaber 154:11; Braisa Yevamos ibid] After a miscarriage the ten years restart. [Michaber 154:12] Some Rishonim rule that the ten years are only counted in Eretz Yisrael, and hence childless couples in the Diaspora are never required to get divorced. [Hagahos Maimanis Ishus 15:4 in name of Ravayah; Tosafus; Sefer Hateruma and Raavan; Semag Assei 49; See Bigdei Kehuna 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:27] However, most Rishonim and Poskim do not differentiate between the Diaspora and Eretz Yisrael, and the ten-year count requires divorce no matter where one lives. [Implication of Rambam; Rif; Michaber ibid; See Aruch Hashulchan 154:24-25 for many proofs that it applies even in the Diaspora, and that all the Poskim agree to this] Nonetheless, if one moves from the Diaspora to Eretz Yisrael then the ten years restart. [Rashba in name of Raavad, brought in Aruch Hashulchan 154:25 and that so is the Halacha] Likewise, if one lives in Eretz Yisrael and travelled to the Diaspora, then his stay in the Diaspora does not count. [Poskim ibid]

[59] If they had children but did not fulfill Peru Urevu: Some Poskim rule that they must get divorced even if they had a child, or had children, but have not yet fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu [i.e. boy and girl]. [Implication of Michaber ibid as understood from Rama’s gloss; Rashba; Nimukei Yosef; See Aruch Hashulchan 154:23] Other Poskim, however, rule that this only applies if no children have been born. If, however, they had a child, then although they did not fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, they do not need to divorce. [Rama 154:10; Rambam Ishus 15; Rivash 15:1] Some Poskim, however, limit this leniency only to a case that the wife can still have children, otherwise he must divorce her. [Beis Shmuel 154:24] Other Poskim, however, are lenient in all cases, and so is the custom. [Meil Tzedaka 33, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:26]

Miscarriages: Although a miscarriage restarts the ten-year count, if a woman had three consecutive miscarriages, then they are to get divorced [in even less than  ten years]. [Michaber 154:12]

If he had children from a previous marriage: If the husband has children [boy and girl] from a previous marriage, then he may remain married to his wife even after ten childless years. [See Michaber 154:17]

[60] Cases of exception: If the man knows that he cannot have children, then there is no need for him to get divorce, as in any event he cannot fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. [Rama 154:10] Some Poskim rule that if the couple desires to remain married and the Kesuba settlement is very expensive, or the wife helps support his Torah learning, then they are not required to get divorced. [Bigdei Kehuna 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:27]

Does this law apply in the Diaspora? See previous footnotes!

[61] Marrying a second wife: Alternatively, rather than get divorced, one can marry a second wife who can have children [and live with both wives]. [Michaber ibid] This option is not viable for Ashkenazi Jewry due to the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom unless the wife refuses to get divorced, in which case he may marry a second wife based on Heter Meiah Rabbanim. [see Noda Beyehuda Tinyana 102; Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:25; Aruch Hashulchan 1:25] However, it is viable for Sephardic Jewry, and so has been done in numerous cases through the Israeli Rabbinate. [See Yabia Omer E.H. 7:2] See letter in Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:59, written to a Sephardic man asking if he can marry a second wife being that they have not had children in ten years “You need to receive a ruling from the Sephardic Rabbanim to allow you to take a second wife. I, as an Ashkenazi, cannot write you such an allowance. However, according to Sephardic custom, as you write, it is easier to receive an allowance. Nonetheless, you must try to appease your wife by a) explaining to her that not everyone’s purpose in this world is to have children, and b) By raising other children, such as his new wife’s children, Hashem considers it as if she is raising him; c) You should write a Sefer Torah in the merit of your wife.” 

[62] Michaber and Rama ibid; Mishneh and Gemara Yevamos 64a that must divorce; Rav Tachlifa in Kesubos 77a that Beis Din forces him to divorce

The reason: As a man is obligated to perform the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu, and the Sages estimated that if a woman did not have children in ten years, most like she never will. [Aruch Hashulchan 154:23]

[63] Although the implied ruling of Rama/Rivash is simply that we do not force a divorce, although ideally they should get divorced [see Bigdei Kehuna 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:27], nonetheless, the custom is not to get divorced.

[64] Rama 1:3; 154:10; Rivash 15; Hagahos Maimanis Ishus 15:4 in name of Ravayah [Aviasaf] “We no longer force to divorce even in Israel as the Talmud states that after the destruction it would have been proper to decree not to have children and hence at the very least we do not force a divorce upon such a couple.”  

[65] Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:59

[66] See Zohar Vayeishev 188b; Shaar Hagilgulim Hakdama 3; Shlah Hakadosh in next footnote

[67] Shlah Hakadosh p. 381 [Parshas Ki Seitzei gloss from Rav Shlomo Alkabetz]

[68] See Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:59; Bigdei Kehuna 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:27, in end of Teshuvah

[69] Sefer Hatzetzaim p. 123 as heard from Chassidim

[70] Heard from Rav S.Z. Labkowski, R.Y. of central T.T. Yeshiva N.Y, who was one of the Bochurim involved

[71] See Michaber E.H. 1:1; 76:6; Beis Shmuel E.H. 1:1; Sefer Kedushas Habayis Chapter 2 Halacha 6A in length

[72] Michaber O.C. 240:1; 231; E.H. 25:2; Tur 240 in name of Raavad that this is the greatest of the intents; Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Sanhedrin 7:4; Mikdash Melech on Zohar Vayikra 43a; Siddur Kol Yaakov Arizal p. 112; Sefer Habris 1:17-2

[73] Taharas Yisrael 240:19

[74] Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Sanhedrin 7:4 that so is proven form the fact that as soon as one ejaculates his lust ceases

[75] Menoras Hamaor Ner Hashelishi 6:5 2:178

[76] See Ran Kiddushin chapter 2 that she receives a Mitzvah for helping the husband achieve his Mitzvah

[77] Reishis Chochma 16:25

[78] See Michaber E.H. 1:8; Beis Shmuel 1:1 and 14-15; Taz E.H. 1:1; Rambam Ishus 15:16; Yevamos 62b; See Likkutei Sichos 30:264 for distinction between Liareiv versus Rabbinical Peru Urevu and that according to the Rambam ibid there exists a Rabbinical obligation of Peru Urevu, and that one fulfills the Biblical Mitzvah of Peru Urevu by every additional child.

[79] Michaber 231

[80] Simple implication of Michaber E.H. 56:6 and all Poskim; See Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim 2:93 footnote 9; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; Imrei Yaakov E.H. 1 Biurim p. 3; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[81] Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit 4:752; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 1:7 footnote 9

[82] See Michaber O.C. 240:1; E.H. 25:2; Derech Pikudecha Asei 1 and Lo Sasei 46 Chelek Hadibbur 9; Shulchan Shlomo 240:1 [requires every day]; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240 footnote 23

[83] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 1:7 footnote 9

[84] Derech Pikudecha Asei 1; Shulchan Shlomo 240:1

[85] Piskeiy Teshuvos 240 footnote 23; 280:3; See also Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102

[86] Beis Shmuel 76:7

[87] Michaber ibid; Beis Shmuel E.H. 1:1; Rambam Ishus 15; P”M 240 A”A; Beir Heiytiv E.H. 1:1;  Igros Moshe ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 1:14; 3:1

Other opinions-The Mitzvah of Liareiv: Even after one has fulfilled the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu he nevertheless remains Rabbinically obligated in the Mitzvah of Liareiv, to have even more children. [See Michaber E.H. 1:8; Beis Shmuel 1:1 and 14-15; Rambam Ishus 15:16; Yevamos 62b] Nonetheless, from the above Poskim it is evident that one is permitted to abstain from the minimum Onah frequencies if his wife is Mochel, even if it means that he will nullify this Rabbinical command. [See Beis Shmuel 1:1 that so is implied from Poskim ibid] Some Poskim, however, question this ruling and suggest that Mechila should not help even after the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu is fulfilled as he nevertheless is still required to fulfill the Mitzvah of Liareiv. [Beis Shmuel ibid] Other Poskim conclude that indeed so long as one does not have another wife from which he can have children from, then he remains obligated to have intercourse with his wife during the Onah frequencies even if she is Mochel, in order to fulfil the Rabbinical Mitzvah of Liareiv. [Taz E.H. 1:1; Suggestion in Beis Shmuel ibid; Maggid Mishneh on Rambam ibid; Nimukei Hagriv on Rambam ibid; See Likkutei Sichos 30:264 footnote 31] Practically, we rule that from the perspective of the Mitzvah of Liareiv, it only obligates the husband to have intimacy on occasion, and hence once the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu is fulfilled, the Mechila of the wife helps to permit skipping the minimum Onah frequencies, however not to skip indefinitely, as explained in the next paragraph in this Halacha. [Birkeiy Yosef E.H. 1:2; Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 1:1]

[88] Michaber E.H. 1:5; See other opinions in previous footnote

[89] Machaneh Chaim 1:18 based on Noda Beyehuda Kama 35; Maharsham 8:240

[90] See Minchas Yitzchak 3:15; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:9

[91] Hagahos Ezer Mikodesh E.H. 76:6; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 3:2 footnote 2 for possible implication from M”A 240 in name of Arizal that the Mitzvah does not apply when she is nursing, although certainly the Mitzvah would apply once she stops nursing, even though she is within 24 months.

[92] Az Nidbaru 6:107; Minchas Yitzchak 3:15-2; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 3:3

[93] Sheyikadesh Atzmo 3:3

[94] Taz E.H. 1:1

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that when one is married to two wives, the Mechila of one wife is valid even if he has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu. [Birkeiy Yosef E.H. 1 and Beis Moshe]

[95] See Michaber E.H. 5:11-12; 23:5; Rambam Issurei Biyah 16:10; Chelkas Mechokek 5:6; Beis Shmuel 5:14; Taz 5:7; Radbaz 1596 [prohibition of using Moch unless there is Sakana]; Chasam Sofer 20, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 5:11; Pischeiy teshuvah 23:2; Igros Moshe E.H. 21 [IUD] 22 [Heter for mental health reasons]; 24 [Using pills if weak]; E.H. 4:62 [regarding C-section]; Minchas Yitachak 26;  Nishmas Avraham E.H. pp. 131-143 for full overview of opinions in Poskim; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit [Shteinberg] volume 4 Erech Menias Hirayon pp.724-820 [full overview in both Halacha and medicine]; Shulchan Menachem 6:2 [p. 8-17]; Article by Rav Herschel Shachter, RY of YU “Halachic aspects of Family Planning,” printed in journal of Halacha and contemporary society; Taharas Yisrael 240:37-40; See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 64

[96] See Sichas Yud Shevat 5730; 6^th Tishreiy 5741; 24^th Teves 5741; Rosh Chodesh Shevat 5741; Beshalacha 10^th Shevat 5741; 15^th Shevat 5741; 23^rd Iyar 5742; 20^th Av 5742; Erev Rosh Hashanah 5742; Bamidbar 25^th Iyar 5743; 6^th Tishreiy 5744; 13^th Tishreiy 5744; 11^th Nissan 5744; 27^th Elul 5744; 6^th Tishreiy 5745; 16^th Adar 5747; Friday Sukkos 5748; 11^th Shevat 5749; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmanson-2015] p.  114-116

[97] Igros Moshe E.H. 1:102

[98] Admur 606:11; M”A 606:8; Darkei Moshe 606:3; Maharil Erev Yom Kippur p. 316; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 607:9 for other opinions in this regard.

[99] The reason: As these are times when she can become pregnant and the water can destroy the semen, and prevent the pregnancy. The explanation is as follows: A woman who is within three days of marital relations must wash her vaginal area prior to Mikveh using hot water in order to remove any semen, as if the semen is expelled within three days of relations, she returns to become ritually impure. However, when a woman is within three days of relations that is near her time of fertility, she cannot wash herself out as it will destroy the semen. Therefore, there is no need at all for her to immerse, as she may in any event return to become impure on Yom Kippur. [Admur ibid] The implication from Admur ibid is that only hot water, which a woman within three days of marital relations must wash her inner parts with, is what is forbidden during times auspicious for pregnancy. However, the actual immersion in cold water does not pose an issue.

[100] The above ruling in Admur 606:11 is recorded in continuation of the opinion which rules that the entire purpose of the immersion on Erev Yom Kippur is for Keri purposes. Vetzaruch Iyun if according to the second opinion [brought in Admur 606:12] who rule the immersion is for Teshuvah purposes, even these women are to immerse, and are thus arguing on this point as well. On the other hand, perhaps the second opinion is only arguing on the amount of times one is to immerse, and the custom for even non-married women to go. Vetzaruch Iyun.

[101] As otherwise the entire immersion may be useless, as if they expel seed within three days, they return to become ritually impure. [Admur ibid]

[102] Implication of Admur ibid

[103] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 545-593 regarding IUI; pp. 817-925 regarding IVF and surrogate motherhood; Vol. 6 pp. 337-393; Sefer Ratz Katzevi the volume on fertility treatment in great length; Tzitz Eliezer 13:97 regarding IVF with other man’s sperm; Surogate motherhood; Sefer Asia 12:227-235 for and article of Rav Avraham Baruch Pezner and Rav Yosef Simcha Ginzberg on the directives of the Rebbe on the subject of IUI and IVF; See Getting Closer pp. 87-94 for counseling ideas for couples suffering from infertility

[104] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 545-593 regarding IUI; pp. 817-925 regarding IVF and surrogate motherhood; Vol. 6 pp. 337-393; Sefer Ratz Katzevi the volume on fertility treatment in great length; Tzitz Eliezer 13:97 regarding IVF with other man’s sperm; Surogate motherhood; See Getting Closer pp. 87-94 for counseling ideas for couples suffering from infertility

[105] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 6 pp. 376-380 regarding a woman whose ovulation occurs during her Nida period, and the various halachic solutions and options available, at the in today’s times this is mostly solved with the help of medication and that there is less no longer a need to resort to other Halachic compromising solutions.

[106] Clomifene citrate (Clomid); Metformin; Gonadotrophins; Bromocriptine and Cabergoline; Antioxidants and vitamins.

[107] It is debated amongst the Poskim whether releasing seed for this is forbidden due to Zera Levatala. Practically, although the main approach is to be lenient, there exist regulations regarding when and how this may be achieved. For example, it is only permitted after a certain amount of years have passed without the couple having children, as per consultation with a Rav. Likewise, in order to diminish in the level of prohibition as much as possible, it is to be done in a method that is most Halachically acceptable, as per direction of the fertility doctor and consultation with the supervising Rav. [See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 6 pp. 368-374]

[108] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 545-593 regarding IUI

Definition: Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) Healthy sperm is collected and inserted directly into the uterus during  ovulation.

[109] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 817-855 regarding IVF

Definition: In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) Eggs are taken from the ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab, where they develop into embryos.

[110] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 855-876

[111] See Poskim in Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnote pp. 566-580 [Jewish sperm donor] pp. 580-583 [Gentile sperm donor] pp. 583-585 [sperm bank] 585-586 [single woman]

[112] It is debated amongst the Poskim whether releasing seed for the purpose of IUI or IVF is forbidden due to Zera Levatala. [Stringent: See Poskim in Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnote 29; Lenient: See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnote 31] Practically, although the main approach is to be lenient, there exist regulations regarding when and how this may be achieved. For example, it is only permitted after a certain amount of years have passed without the couple having children, as per consultation with a Rav. [See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnotes 40-41] Likewise, in order to diminish in the level of prohibition as much as possible, one is to choose a method that is most Halachically acceptable, as per direction of the fertility doctor and consultation with the supervising Rav. [See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnotes 51-58]

[113] The issues are twofold: 1) Does the procedure turn her into a Nida. [See Poskim in Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnotes 49-50,] 2) May it be done during her Nidda days? [See Poskim in Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnotes 59-64]

[114] This issue is applicable when using sperm that is not of the husband, which can occur intentionally [i.e. donor, or medical malpractice], or unintentionally when there isn’t proper supervision. For this reason, it is imperative for there to be rabbinic supervision in the clinic.

[115] This issue is applicable when using sperm that is not of the husband, which can occur intentionally[i.e. donor, or medical malpractice], or unintentionally when there isn’t proper supervision. For this reason, it is imperative for there to be rabbinic supervision in the clinic.

[116] This issue is applicable when using sperm that is not of the husband, which can occur intentionally [i.e. donor, or medical malpractice], or unintentionally when there isn’t proper supervision. For this reason, it is imperative for there to be rabbinic supervision in the clinic. Likewise, this question is relevant to surrogacy and donor eggs.

[117] This is applicable through IVF treatment. See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 p. 848

[118] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 pp. 545-593 regarding IUI; pp. 817-855 regarding IVF

[119] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit [Shteinberg] Vol. 2 p. 855

[120] See Encyclopedia Refuit Hilchatit ibid footnotes 40-41

[121] The Rebbe’s adamant opposition to certain fertility treatments, namely IVF, is well-documented both in written answers and in “Sunday Dollars” encounters on video. See Sefer Asia 12:227-235 for and article of Rav Avraham Baruch Pezner and Rav Yosef Simcha Ginzberg on the directives of the Rebbe on the subject of IUI and IVF

[122] A quote of some of the Rebbe’s responses, recorded in the above Journal, in the 90s: Regarding IVF “a copy of the letter of the Rabbi who permitted this.. It is obvious that I did not write a blessing for this procedure..”; “Is it permitted according to Torah?”; “I believe it is forbidden according to the codes of Jewish law and certainly you should not do this at all as is obvious.”; “As you write, this is also opposite of the Torah, and to spend money to transgress the code of Jewish law.” “He [the man who permitted this procedure] is not a rabbi but rather a doctor” It requires clarification if this is permitted according to Jewish law” “As it is publicly known, I am not in support of this [IUI and IVF]. And whomever wants [to do it] should ask Rabbis, and don’t ask me again on this matter.” “P.S. It is publicly known the opinion of many – against IVF treatment, and similar treatments.”

[123] Did the Rebbe change his mind regarding fertility treatments? See Sefer Asia 12:227-235 for an analysis of the Rebbe’s opinion, and for a collection of responses in which the Rebbe did not forbid the procedure, and at times even gave his blessing. Rabbi Menachem Burshtein, head of Machon Puah in Israel, in an interview was asked the following question: There is a rumor, that the Rebbe permitted fertility treatments when done under ‘Machon Puah,’ being that the Machon is under the leadership and supervision of Israel’s former Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu OBM, is there any truth to this rumor? His answer was as follows: Yes indeed. It was known in Chabad that the Rebbe was against fertility treatments, but when I visited the Rebbe a short while before Chanukah 5752, and reported that the treatments performed by Machon Puah are supervised by Rabbi Eliyahu, the Rebbe supposedly ‘changed his mind.’ The reason I used the word ‘supposedly’ is because it’s clear the Rebbe didn’t change his mind. The Rebbe’s view was, that these treatments were prohibited due to various Halachic problems which are part of the treatment, but when the Rebbe was told that the treatments are being done under the supervision of Rabbi Eliyahu, a man the Rebbe trusted, the Rebbe agreed. [Derech Ha’melech’ magazine] However, in a later clarification he said: “Heaven Forbid! I didn’t say that the Rebbe changed his mind, the opposite is true. What I said was, that Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu sent me to the Rebbe to report that the treatments in Machon Pu’ah are under his supervision. When I came to the Rebbe, I asked the Rebbe’s secretary, Rabbi Leibel Groner, to give over my message to the Rebbe, and he gave over the message, and the Rebbe then approved it.”

[124] See Sanhedrin 57b and 72b; Ohalos 7:6; Erechin 7a; Tosafus Sanhedrin 59a, Nidda 44b; Rambam Rotzeiach 1:9; Melachim 9:4; Michaber C.M. 425:2; Smeh C.M. 425:8; Maharit 1:97 and 99; Chavos Yair 31; Sheilas Yaavetz 1:43; Beis Yehuda E.H. 14; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana C.M. 59; Panim Meiros 3:8; Toras Chesed Lublin E.H. 42:31-32; Meiy Nida Nidda ibid; Beis Yitzchak Y.D. 2:162; Peri Hadama 2:143; Rav Poalim E.H. 1:4; Mishpitei Uziel C.M. 3:47; Doveiv Meisharim 1:20; Tzafnas Paneiach 1:59; Igros Moshe C.M. 2:69; Yabia Omer E.H. 4:1; Tzitz Eliezer 8:36; 9:51; 14:100; 20:2; Mishneh Halachos 9:328-330; Koveitz Teshuvos C.M. 1:221; Nishmas Avraham C.M. 425 [summary on all above]; Madanei Shlomo p. 355; Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Hapalah Vol. 2 p. 717, 737, 752-782-817; Igros Moshe C.M. 2:69; See Toras Hayoledes Chapter 66; Many Letters of Rebbe in Shulchan Menachem 6:4, brought in footnote below

[125] Poskim who rule the prohibition is Biblical: Toras Chesed ibid in opinion of Rambam; Moshav Zekeinim Shemos 21:22; Chikrei Lev O.C. 58; Maharam Shick Y.D. 155; Achiezer 3:65-14; Otzer Hamelech Tumas Meis 106; Or Sameiach Issurei Biyah 3:2; Meshech Chochma Parshas Vayakhel; Sdei Chemed Mareches Halef 252; Divrei Yissachar C.M. 168; Beis Yitzchak ibid; Binyan Dovid 47; Yabia Omer ibid; Igros Moshe ibid; Mishneh Halachos ibid; Many Poskim in Encyclopedia Hilchatit ibid footnote 186

Poskim who rule the prohibition is Rabbinical: Ran Chulin 58a; Toras Chesed ibid; Maharam Shick ibid; Achiezer 3:65-14 in opinion of Ran ibid; Shut Tzafnas Paneiach 59; Chaim Veshalom 1:40; Tzelusa Deavraham 60; Maharash Engel 5:89; 7:170; Beis Yehuda E.H. 14; Emunas Shmuel 14; Some Poskim in opinion of Tosafus Nidda [brought next]; Tzitz Eliezer 8:36 in opinion of Rambam; Encyclopedia Hilchatit ibid footnote 185

Poskim who rule the prohibition is not so severe: Tzeida Laderech Mishpatim; Maharit ibid; Mishpitei Uziel ibid, based on Sanhedrin 72b

Poskim who rule there is no prohibition: Tosafus Nidda 44b as understood by some Poskim [Maharitz Chayos Nidda ibid; Mileches Shlomo Nidda ibid; Yakhil Shlomo O.C. 330; Toras Chesed ibid; Tzitz Eliezer ibid] but dissented by other Poskim who learn that even according to Tosafus ibid, it is forbidden. [Chavos Yair ibid; Yaavetz ibid; Sheilas Yaavetz ibid; Meiy Nida ibid; Beis Yitzchak ibid; Peri Hadama ibid; Doveiv Meisharim ibid; Tzafnas Paneiach ibid; Igros Moshe ibid; Mishpitei Uziel ibid]

[126] There is no explicit verse in Scripture which mentions a prohibition against abortion. On the contrary, from Scripture alone one can erroneously deduce that he abortion of a fetus is not so severe as certainly not tantamount to murder. [See Shemos 21:22-23; Bava Kama 42a; Mechilta Derashbi Mishpatim 8] Likewise, there is no explicit statement found in the Talmud which prohibits the abortion of a Jewish fetus, even though it explicitly discusses a prohibition against aborting a gentile fetus due to the provision against murder found in the seven Noahide laws.

[127] See Encyclopedia Hilchatit ibid pp. 754-756 for various different reasons mentioned in the above Poskim for the prohibition: 1) Due to the biblical murder prohibition [this is the most accepted approach amongst today’s Poskim that abortion is tantamount to actual murder and is forbidden due to the murder prohibition]. 2) Due to that it damages the body or property of the woman. 3) due to a wasting seed. 4) due to entering the woman into danger. 5) as one prevents the fetus from becoming a Jew who will be observant in Torah and mitzvot. 6) due to desecration of God’s name being that even Gentiles prohibit it. 7) due to the prohibition of steeling, as one is considered to be stealing the life from the fetus.

[128] See previous footnotes that some Poskim rule the prohibition is Biblical while others rule it is rabbinical, and according to some, there is an opinion who holds that there is no prohibition at all

[129] Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Hapalah Vol. 2 p. 752 “almost all of them agree that there is some level of prohibition against causing an abortion even though they dispute the exact essence and severity and reason behind the prohibition… [Furthermore] the most accepted approach amongst today’s Poskim is that abortion is tantamount to actual murder and is Biblically forbidden due to the murder prohibition”; Igros Kodesh 15:338; Many Letters of Rebbe in Shulchan Menachem 6:4, brought in footnote below

[130] See Encyclopedia Hilchatit ibid footnote 199-200; Likkutei Sichos 24:230 “The truth is that parents asking their daughter to commit abortion go through an abortion of a fetus is tantamount to them asking her daughter to kill her own child heaven forbid, and they the parents are asking to murder their own grandchild heaven forbid. For the remainder of all of their lives the trauma of what they have done will be engraved within their souls, and certainly they should negate this completely”; Areinu Niflaos p. 186 “This is not considered an abortion heaven forbid but rather the murder of the fetus. It goes without saying that the mother of the fetus or the father should not even entertain the idea of killing a fetus especially when it is theirs. Even if one considers himself a secular Jew it does not permit him heaven forbid to become a murder. Even the Nazis, may their names be obliterated, did not kill their own children but rather the children of the Jewish people.” Letter of 9^th Kisleiv 5745 “If there are people who will try to influence you to abort your fetus heaven forbid, you shall tell them that this is considered premeditated murder of a creature that does not yet have the ability to protect itself from those who want to kill him and the same God that formed the fetus is the God who created them sometime earlier and He sees and watches what they are doing.”

[131] See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Hapalah Vol. 2 p. 767

[132] Michaber C.M. 425:2; Rambam Rotzeiach 1:7; Mishneh Ohalos 7:6; See Encyclopedia Hilchatit Refuit Hapalah Vol. 2 p. 760-767

[133] Igros Moshe C.M. 2:69

[134] Beis Shlomo C.M. 132; Achiezer 3:65; Toras Chesed E.H. 42:33; Rav Unterman in Noam 6:1; Igros Moshe C.M. 2:69; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:735; See regarding even a Jewish fetus that it is permitted, or more lenient within the first 40 days: Chavos Yair 31; Seridei Eish 3:127; Tzafnas Paneiach 1:59; Rav Poalim 4:14; Rav S”ZA, brought in Mishmas Avraham 5:425

More than 40 days: Some Poskim rule that so long as the fetus is not fully developed, there is no liability for abortion. [Minchas Chinuch Mitzvah 34; Shut Tzafnas Paneiach Hashlama on vol. 4 on Rambam that the prohibition only applies once the mother is ready for birth; See Choveret Asia 45-46 p. 67 and Sefer Emek Habacha p. 94 who severely questions the assertion of the Tzafnas Paneiach] Some Poskim are lenient with abortions prior to the passing of three months of pregnancy. [Peri Hasadeh 4:50-5; Yabia Omer 4 E.H. 1]

[135] Sheilas Yaavetz 1:43; Rav Poalim E.H. 1:14 [unlike Y.D. 4:4]; Mishpitei Uziel C.M. 3:47; Shearim Hametzuyanim Behalacha 184:7 [?]; See Tzitz Eliezer 17:49-12 and 9:51

[136] Chavos Yair 31; Sefer Chassidim 1918; Yeshuos Malko on Rambam Shabbos chapter 2; Gidulei Tziyon 1:32; Lechem Hapanim Kuntrus Achron 19; Rav Poalim Y.D. 4:4; Igros Moshe C.M. 2:69; Mishneh Halachos 10:303; See Shevet Halevi 5:195

[137] Mishnas Avraham on Sefer Chassidim ibid; See Tzitz Eliezer 13:102 and Y.D. 27:7 regarding Jewish fetuses; See also Beahala Shel Torah 1:116

[138] The reason: As one is not liable for capital punishment for killing an insane person. [Mahariy Chagiz in Halachos Ketanos 37]

[139] Igros Moshe C.M. 2:71; Yaskil Avdi E.H. 6:85; Shevet Halevi 7:208; Nishmas Avraham C.M. 425:1; Mishneh Halachos 5:233; 6:14; 9:328-330; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:736

[140] See Mishnas Avraham ibid who says that not everyone agrees to the assertion of the Halachos Ketanos that one is not liable for capital punishment for killing an insane person, in addition to the fact that is not really possible to ever know one hundred percent that the child will be insane.

[141] As it is not clear if according to the Halachos Ketanos even a Gentile is exempt from killing a Shoteh and Cheresh, and on the contrary, from the fact that a gentile is liable for killing a Treifa, it would be implied that perhaps there also liable for killing a Shoteh and Cheresh. Vetzaruch Iyun

[142] Nishmas Avraham C.M. 425:1; Shevet Halevi 10:259-1

[143] See Mishnas Avraham on Sefer Chassidim ibid; Beis Yehuda E.H. 1:14; Chaim Veshalom 1:40; Chavos Yair 31; Sefas Hayam E.H. 14; Yabia Omer E.H. 4:1; Tzitz Eliezer 9:51 Shaar 3; 14:101-3

[144] See Zohar Vayeishev 188b; Shaar Hagilgulim Hakdama 3; Shlah Hakadosh in next footnote

[145] Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:59

[146] Shlah Hakadosh p. 381 [Parshas Ki Seitzei gloss from Rav Shlomo Alkabetz]

[147] See Igros Kodesh 6:95; 17:104; 22:268 and 297; Hiskashrus 551 p. 19; 570 p. 15; Nishmas Avraham 4:42; Minchas Shmuel 2:16; Sefer Al Ben Imatzta Lach

[148] See Megillah 13a; Sanhedrin 19b; Kesubos 50a; Chochmas Shlomo E.H. 1:1 [who questions that perhaps it even fulfills the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu!] Bigdei Kehuna 1, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah E.H. 154:27, in end of Teshuvah; Likkutei Sichos 15:480, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:11 [pp. 38 and 59];

[149] Kesubos 50a; Shemos Raba 45:6

[150] Chazon Yechezkal Hakdama for Tosefta Yevamos

[151] See Igros Kodesh 23:24, 310; Nishmas Avraham ibid

[152] See Hiskashrus ibid; Shulchan Menachem ibid

[153] Igros Kodesh 6:95; 17:104; 22:297

[154] Igros Kodesh 17:104; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:162; Shevet Halevi 6:202 p. 192; Sefer Al Ben Imatzta Lach 2:1-2

The reason: There are major questions, and debates in the Poskim, regarding the validity of the conversion of a Gentile child and certainly it is best not to enter into these discussions if not necessary. Likewise, when he grows older and is told that he was born a Gentile, he may not consent to remain an observant Jew which would retroactively disqualify his conversion. [Hamaor 5725 p. 66] Likewise, we do not encourage the conversion of Gentiles unless they themselves come forward to convert. [Igros Moshe ibid; Shevet Halevi ibid]

[155] Igros Kodesh 22:297; See also Likkutei Sichos 21:403 with the Rebbe discusses converting an adopted Gentile child so he receive a Jewish soul.

The reason: As such children are considered to have been born in impurity, without Nida purification of the mother, as well as that by a Jewish born child, there is a worry of Mamzeirus [Shtuki Veasufi], and him ending up marrying his biological siblings. [See Rebbe ibid and Hiskashrus ibid]

[156] See Likkutei Sichos 21:403

[157] Is the conversion valid when done to a child? It is possible to convert a Gentile child through Daas Beis Din, due to the rule of Zachin Leadam Shelo Befanav. [Michaber Y.D. 268:7; Kesubos 11a] However, the Poskim rule that this only applies if one of his parents bring him to convert or he himself comes forward with the request to convert. [Rashi ibid; Ritva ibid; Rashba ibid] Accordingly, some Poskim rule that is forbidden to convert someone, even a child, without them understanding what they are doing, and hence the conversion of a Gentile child by the adoptive parents who is not of age of comprehension to understand what is taking place, may not be valid. [See Shach Y.D. 268:15; Darkei Moshe Y.D. 268:4; Bach 268; Tosafus Kesubos 44a; Mordechai Yevamos 40 in name of Ravya; Shita Mekubetzes Kesubos 15b; Zera Yitzchak Y.D. 36; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:678] However, other Poskim rule that a Beis Din has ability to convert a child even if his parents do not bring him to convert and he is not of age of consent. [Ran Kesubos 11a; Tosafus Rid ibid] Practically, it is evident from the Rebbe’s letters that he did not suspect for the stringent opinion if the adoptive parents are Torah observant and adopting a Jewish child born to Torah observant parents is not available. However, if the adoptive parents are not Torah observant, then the Rebbe completely negates adopting a Gentile child. [See Likkutei Sichos 21:403; Igros Kodesh 6:95; 17:104; 22:297; Hiskashrus ibid; Shulchan Menachem ibid footnote 3]

[158] See Igros Kodesh 22:268

[159] Michaber Y.D. 268:7-8

[160] See Minchas Yitzchak 3:99; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1:162

[161] See Nishmas Avraham ibid 3

[162] See Michaber E.H. 22:11; Nishmas Avraham ibid 4

[163] Otzer Haposkim 9:130-132 in name of the Rebbe and many Gedolei Haposkim; Minchas Yitzchak 9:140; Shevet Halevi 5:205-8; 6:196; Devar Halacha 7:20 in name of Chazon Ish; Devar Yehoshua 3 E.H. 16-17; Divrei Yatziv E.H. 46; Nishmas Avraham ibid in name of Rav SZ”A and Rav Elyashiv

[164] See Tzitz Eliezer 6:40-21; Igros Moshe E.H. 4:64-2

[165] See Otzer Haposkim ibid; Shevet Halevi ibid; Minchas Yitzchak ibid; Nishmas Avraham ibid in name of Rav SZ”A and Rav Elyashiv

[166] See Igros Kodesh 23:24; 100, 310, printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:11

[167] Shevet Halevi ibid

[168] Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:125; Igros Moshe E.H. 1:7; 4:64-2; Minchas Yitzchak 4:49-7; 5:44; 9:140; Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:774; Mishneh Halachos 4:68; Rav SZ”A in Nishmas Avraham ibid; See Igros Kodesh 23:24; 100, 310, 311

[169] See Temura 16a; Kiddushin 31b; Ramban Bamidbar 26:46; Rama 42:15; Chasam Sofer E.H. 1:76, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah C.M. ibid; Nishmas Avraham ibid 2

Bookmark