3. Sitting during the comforting/Nichum Aveilim:[1]

Sitting-The mourners: The mourners/Aveilim are required to sit on the floor [or a low stool[2]] during the time that they are being comforted by others.[3] They are not to be standing or walking around during the visitation of those comforting them.[4] [Practically, it is permitted for the mourners to stand and walk around if there are many visitors, and it is uncomfortable to remain sitting throughout all the sessions of comforting.[5] Nevertheless, the Avel is to be particular to sit while the accustomed concluding statement of comfort “Hamakom Yinachem” is recited to them.]

Sitting-The comforters: The people who come to comfort the mourner are to sit on the ground just as is required of the mourners.[6] Nevertheless, if the mourner forgives his honor and allows them to sit on regular chairs, it is permitted for them to do so. Practically, the custom today is for the comforters to sit on regular chairs, as it is accepted that the mourners forgive their honor in this regard.[7] [Some are accustomed to comfort the mourners while standing.[8]]

Standing for a Torah scholar/elder:[9] An Avel during Shiva is not obligated [and perhaps is not even allowed[10]] to stand in the presence of even the Gadol Hador, [and certainly is not obligated to stand for a Torah scholar or elder].[11] [He may however slightly lift up his body in their honor.[12] The comforters, however, are to stand when a Torah scholar or elderly man enters.]

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[1] 387:1

[2] See Chapter 19 Halacha 2!

[3] Michaber 387:1; Shach 387:1 in name of Perisha; Taz 387:1; Rashal, brought in Taz ibid

[4] Shach ibid in name of Perisha; Taz ibid; See Leket Yosher p. 91; Hisorerus Teshuvah 193; Nitei Gavriel 88:3 footnote 3

[5] See Divrei Malkiel 92; Nitei Gavriel 88:3 footnote 4

[6] Michaber 387:1

[7] Shach 387:1 in name of Perisha; Taz 387:1 in name of Rashal

[8] Leket Yosher p. 91; Nitei Gavriel 88:2 footnote 2

[9] Rama 376:1

[10] Aruch Hashulchan 376:4; Ramban in Toras Hadam; Rabbeinu Yerucham 25; brought in Nitei Gavriel 89:4 footnote 6

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that possibly one is allowed to stand for a parent during Shiva, and it is simply not obligatory. [Kesef Mishneh Aveilus 13:5; Shvus Yaakov 3:26; See Gesher Hachaim 20; Pesakim Uteshuvos 240:27 footnote 240]

[11] The reason: As standing up in such a state of mourning is not considered a Hiddur. [Shvus Yaakov 3:26] Alternatively, because the Aveilim are busy. [Levush, brought in Gilyon Maharsha 376] The practical ramification is regarding Tishe Beav. [Gilyon Maharsha ibid] Alternatively, because it is forbidden to tell the Avel to sit down. [Aruch Hashulchan ibid]

[12] Teshuvah Meahava 3 376; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 89:4 footnote 7