✍️ From the Rav’s Desk: Wearing Black Clothing to a Funeral
Question:
In Western society, it is common to wear black clothing to a funeral as a sign of mourning and respect for the deceased. Must a Jew wear black to a funeral? Is it permitted to do so, or does it raise a concern of following non-Jewish customs?
Answer:
There is no obligation to wear black clothing to a funeral. The long-standing custom in the Frum community over the last several generations has been to attend funerals in clothing of any appropriate color. Although black has historically been associated with mourning, both in general society and in ancient Jewish culture, it was never established as a binding Jewish custom. Furthermore, since black funeral attire is commonly associated today with many Christian and Catholic mourning practices, one should not specifically choose to wear black in order to follow non-Jewish funeral customs. However, if one is already wearing black, or chooses to wear it as a personal expression of grief and mourning rather than to imitate Gentile customs, it is permitted.
Explanation:
The color black has long been associated with sadness, mourning, and loss. Historically, this symbolism was not unique to Western culture, and references can be found in the Talmud and Poskim to black garments being worn as an expression of grief and mourning. Indeed, it is evident from the words of the poskim that it was once a widespread custom among the Jewish people to wear black garments during times of mourning. This is explicitly recorded by a number of Rishonim and later authorities dating back to the Michaber, Rama, Shach and Taz, who describe the practice of mourners and relatives of the deceased donning black attire. Nevertheless, despite its historical roots, wearing black was never accepted as an obligatory practice for mourners or funeral attendees within Jewish law.
In contemporary times, however, black funeral attire is strongly identified with the mourning customs of many Western societies, particularly those influenced by Christian traditions. As a result, the question arises whether specifically choosing to wear black for a funeral may in todays times constitute an imitation of non-Jewish customs known as Darkei Emori, despite it once having been a Jewish tradition.
Darkei Emori is literally defined as the ways of the Emorites. The Torah prohibits a Jew to follow the paths of the Emorites, which refers to the performance of actions that have no logic behind them and towards what they are desired to accomplish. This prohibition is possibly rooted in one of several negative commands such as “Bechukoseihem Lo Seleichu”, and “Lo Sinacheish” and practices of Avoda Zara, and Kishuf/sorcery.
Indeed, based on this approach, some Poskim argue that wearing black clothing today at a funeral would fall under the biblical prohibition of “ובחוקותיהם לא תלכו” (“and in their statutes you shall not walk”), as they maintain that the prohibition applies even if the practice originally stemmed from Jewish custom. So long as the practice is not explicitly mandated as a mitzvah in the Torah, once it has been distinctly adopted and identified with gentile practice, it may enter the realm of this prohibition.
However, in truth one can argue that there is no Darkei Emori involved here at all as the prohibition of Darkei Emori applies to actions that have no seeable benefit, and logic or understanding and were possibly originated by idolaters. However, those actions that are done as a symbol and representation of a certain matter and which was never originated for the sake of idolatry are permitted to be adapted by Jews even if it originated from gentiles.
Accordingly, since there is a rational basis for gentiles wearing black garments, and moreover this practice can be found in, and traced to, Jewish sources as well—having been historically observed by Jews—there is no issue of imitating gentile customs (darkei Emori). Therefore, there is no halachic prohibition whatsoever in wearing black attire at a funeral or during periods of mourning.
However, there is also no Halachic requirement to wear black, and its just that if one desires he may do so.
Nonetheless, despite this technical allowance, since it is commonly the practice in contemporary Western society—particularly among those of Christian and Catholic backgrounds—to wear specifically black clothing for mourning, one should ideally avoid going out of his way to adopt this practice. This is not due to any formal halachic prohibition, but rather out of a general principle of distancing ourselves from the customs of the nations, even when no strict prohibition applies.
A similar concept is found in the laws of Kapparos before Yom Kippur, where selecting a specifically white chicken may be considered an issue of darkei Emori if done intentionally for that reason. However, if one happens to receive such a chicken incidentally, there is no concern.
So too in this case: while wearing black clothing is not intrinsically prohibited and does not constitute darkei Emori, one should ideally not deliberately choose black attire in order to imitate non-Jewish funeral customs. Nevertheless, if one is already wearing black, there is no obligation to change. Likewise, if he chooses black as a personal expression of mourning and not because of any desire to imitate Gentile customs, it is permitted.
However, one should also take local community standards into account. In places where formal black funeral attire is strongly perceived as emulating non-Jewish religious or cultural practices, it is preferable to avoid specifically adopting that style. Since there is no obligation to wear black in the first place, it is generally best to avoid entering into a possible halachic concern when a respectful alternative is readily available.
Source:
- Mention of black clothing regarding mourning in Halacha: Rama 374:6 “One who desires to be stringent upon himself and mourn the death of a person for whom he is not obligated to mourn, or to wear black clothing of mourning, is not to be protested.”; Shut Rosh 27:9 and end of Moed Katan; Taz and M”A 547; Beis Yosef 547; Rama E.H. 17:5; Shach 345:8 “The Tur writes in name of the Maharitz Geios in the laws of mourning (end of p. 70), that from here it is understood that the mourners and relatives of the deceased would wear black garments. Nevertheless, each and every place should follow its own established custom.”; Shach 375:7; Maharitz Geios Avel p. 70; See Michaber 345:5; Tur 345:5; Semachos 2:10; Ramban Toras Ha’adam 27b; Menachos 109b and Yuma 39b regarding Shimon hatzadik “In that year in which Shimon HaTzaddik passed away, he said to them: “This year I will die.” They asked him, “How do you know?” He replied, “Every Yom Kippur, an elderly man dressed in white and עטוף in white would appear to me; he would enter with me [into the Holy of Holies to perform the sacred service] and would leave with me. But today, an elderly man dressed in black and עטוף in black appeared to me; he entered with me but did not leave with me.”; Rebbe Yanaiy in Shabbos 114a “My children, do not bury me neither in white garments nor in black garments. White—lest I not merit [a favorable judgment in Heaven], and I will be like a groom among mourners; Black—lest I do merit, and I will be like a mourner among grooms. Rather, bury me in colored garments (reddish garments) that come from overseas.”; Gesher Hachaim 1:20 – 6 “The Chareidim (G‑d-fearing Jews) are not accustomed today to wear black garments during meals (i.e., in general use). In earlier times, however, it was customary in Israel for mourners to wear black, as stated by our Sages (Semachos, ch. 2:10): “One who separates from the ways of the community—his brothers and relatives wear white and wrap themselves in white…” From this it is inferred (as codified in Tur and Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 391:5) that for other deceased individuals, people would wear and wrap themselves in black. Similarly, we find in an aggadic teaching cited in the Ramban (Toras Ha’adam, p. 27) that Moshe instructed Yehoshua to wear black. Likewise, it is written in the responsa of the Rosh (Klal 27:2) concerning a father-in-law and a loved one. It also appears from the account in which Rabbi Yannai instructed his son to wear black garments in mourning rather than festive attire.”
- The halachic discussion regarding if wearing black funeral attire today transgresses Darkei Emori: Permitted: Yabia Omer 3:25Or Torah 5742 105; Ateres Shlomo 27; Yalkut Yosef 46 p. 764; Forbidden: Gesher Hachaim 1:20 -6 “However, since the non-Jews later adopted the custom of wearing black, it now falls under the prohibition of “and in their statutes you shall not walk” (Vayikra 18:3), as stated in Sanhedrin 52b and Avodah Zarah 11a—even regarding a practice that originally had a basis—if it is not explicitly mandated in the Torah. See Tosafos there, who explain that once a custom has been adopted by non-Jews, it can be subject to this prohibition. So too writes the Shulchan Gavoah on the Shulchan Aruch here, that in Jerusalem the custom is for mourners to wear white. Likewise, in the sefer Kuntres HaYechieli, in the section Beis Olamim (ch. 12), my esteemed colleague Rabbi Yitzchak Alfiah notes that this is also brought in the sefer Rav Pe’alim (vol. 2, siman 27).”; Kuntrus Hayachlieili
- The General Issur of Darkei Emori: See Rama Y.D. 177:1; Admur 301:33; Mishneh Shabbos 67a
- Not applying Darkei Emori it when the custom has a logic or reason: See Rama 177:1 “This is only forbidden if the clothing of the gentiles are worn by them for sake of frivolity [pritzus] or it is a gentile custom that has no logic behind it, as in such a case there is room to suspect that the custom derives from the Emorite customs, and that it derive from practices of idolatry passed down from their forefathers.”; Maharik 88; See Kapos Temarim Yuma 831 and Chavos Yair 234 that Darkei Emori applies towards practices that the gentiles developed as a result of idolatry, that they believed that these actions invoke their G-ds to give assistance. See also Ran on Shabbos 67a; See Admur 301:33 “Any medical treatment that works in accordance to Segulah [i.e. supernatural causes] rather than natural cause and effect [i.e. scientifically based] does not contain the prohibition of Darkei Emori so long as it is recognizable [to the onlookers] that it’s intent is for the sake of healing”; See Igros Moshe E.H. 2:13; Y.D. 4:11-4; O.C. 5:11-4
- See regarding choosing white chickens for Kaparos: Admur 605:2 “One is to choose a white chicken, if there are white chickens in front of him readily available to be chosen from. If however white chickens are not readily available in front of him, one is not to specifically search out for a chicken of white color. This is because this appears similar to the acts of the Emorites [idol worshipers] who would search after white chickens to sacrifice them to idols, and it is forbidden for a Jew to resemble this act due to the verse “and you shall not go in their statutes”; M”A 605:3; Taz 605:2; Bach