Question:
Must the Chassan personally purchase the wedding ring with his own money in order for the Kiddushin to be valid? May he use his parents’ credit card to buy the ring? What if the ring was purchased by his father, mother, or another family member and simply given to him for the wedding?
Answer:
The fundamental requirement is not that the Chassan personally pay for the ring, but rather that the ring legally belong to him at the time of the Kiddushin.
Accordingly, the Chassan cannot perform a valid Kiddushin using a ring that belongs to someone else, even if that person gives him permission to use it. Just as one cannot generally transfer ownership of an item that belongs to another, so too the ring used for Kiddushin must be owned by the Chassan himself in order for his Kallah to acquire it.
Therefore, prior to the Chuppah, the Chassan must acquire the ring in a halachically valid manner.
For this reason, it is customary for the Rabbi or Mesader Kiddushin to verify with the Chassan immediately prior to the Kiddushin that the ring legally belongs to him, that it was not merely borrowed from another person, and that he acquired full ownership of it. In many communities, especially when the ring was purchased by parents or another family member, the Rabbi will have the Chassan perform a formal Kinyan on the ring in front of the witnesses shortly before the Chuppah in order to remove any doubt regarding ownership and ensure that the Kiddushin is performed with a ring that unquestionably belongs to the Chassan.
The Preferred Method
The simplest and most straightforward method is for the Chassan to purchase the ring himself using his own funds. This removes any possible question regarding ownership. Ideally, the purchase should be made through a form of payment that effects an immediate transaction, such as cash or an ordinary credit card transaction in which the merchant immediately processes the sale and receives payment. This is the best way to avoid any disputes regarding whether the ring belongs to the Chassan. [Nonetheless, even if the ring was purchased on credit, many Poskim maintain that the Chassan legally owns the ring. Practically, if one cannot afford to pay the full sum prior to the wedding then he is to pay at least some of the sum as a down payment prior to the wedding, even one Perutah.]
May Parents Purchase the Ring?
Yes. The ring may be purchased by anyone else, including the Chassan’s parents, grandparents, relatives, or friends. However, prior to the Kiddushin, the ring must be transferred to the Chassan as a complete and unrestricted gift.
Thus, a father may purchase the ring, a mother may purchase the ring, or the ring may even be purchased using the parents’ credit card. Nevertheless, the parents must intend to give the ring to the Chassan as his own property, and the Chassan must then acquire it.
How Is the Acquisition Made?
The simplest method is through a formal gift.
The parents (or whoever purchased the ring) should intend to transfer complete ownership of the ring to the Chassan as a present, and the Chassan should lift the ring at least three Tefachim from the ground, thereby making a valid Kinyan Hagbahah and acquiring ownership of it.
Once this is done, the ring is considered his property, and it may then be used for the Kiddushin.
Bottom Line
The Chassan does not specifically need to pay for the ring using his own money. However, he must own the ring at the time of the Kiddushin. Therefore:
- The preferred approach is for the Chassan to purchase the ring himself.
- The ring may be purchased by parents or any other person.
- A ring that belongs to someone else may not be used for Kiddushin merely based on permission.
- If someone else purchased the ring, it must be given to the Chassan as an absolute gift prior to the wedding.
- The Chassan should make a valid Kinyan, such as lifting the ring three Tefachim, to acquire ownership.
Sources:
Michaber E.H. 28:1; Beis Shmuel 28:49; Aruch Hashulchan 28:84; Avnei Miluim 28:33; Hanissuin Kehilchasam 1:216; Nitei Gavriel Nissuin Vol. 1 21:6-7 p. 146; Seder Kiddushin Venissuin p. 49 and 62; Machaneh Ephraim Kinyan 2; Birkei Yosef 658:4; Mateh Ephraim 625:17; Mishnah Berurah 658:10; Biur Halacha 11:6; Sdei Chemed Asifas Dinim Daled Minim 3:2; Kaf Hachaim 658:14; Piskei Teshuvos 658:6, 12.