Question:
What is the source in Halachah for the prohibition against men and women dancing together? Seemingly, one does not find an explicit ruling in the Shulchan Aruch stating, “Men and women may not dance together.”
Answer:
The primary source for the prohibition of mixed dancing is not a specific prohibition against dancing per se, but rather the Torah’s general prohibition against engaging in conduct that leads to forbidden relations (gilui arayos).
The Rambam rules that the verse of “Lo sikrevu legalos ervah” prohibits not only the act of forbidden relations itself, but also affectionate conduct that leads to it. This includes actions such as affectionate touching, embracing, kissing, and other forms of interaction that draw a person closer to immorality, including even flirtatious conversations and gestures. Likewise, Chazal and the Poskim repeatedly prohibit gazing at women for pleasure and engaging in behavior that fosters improper familiarity and attraction.
Accordingly, although one does not find an explicit sentence in the Shulchan Aruch stating that men and women may not dance together, mixed dancing is naturally included within the broader Biblical prohibition. Not every conceivable interaction that leads to immorality must be individually listed in the Shulchan Aruch. Just as one does not require a separate ruling regarding every specific form of improper interaction, so too mixed dancing is encompassed within the Torah’s general prohibition against conduct that leads to arayos.
Indeed, it is self-evident that mixed dancing involves many of the very elements that the Torah and Chazal sought to prohibit and distance from, including physical proximity, touching, gazing, frivolity, and social interaction that can readily lead to improper conduct. Thus, the prohibition does not require an independent verse or a separate paragraph in the Shulchan Aruch in order to be forbidden.
To put it plainly, if Chazal prohibited even greeting a woman with “shalom” in certain contexts due to concerns of forbidden familiarity and immorality, how could one possibly argue that men and women may dance together? Mixed dancing inherently involves physical proximity, social interaction, gazing, and often physical contact, making it far more conducive to improper conduct than the interactions already prohibited by Chazal.
Nonetheless, beyond this general prohibition, we also find explicit discussions regarding mixed dancing in the responsa literature. A fascinating historical picture emerges from these sources. It appears that in certain communities there had developed a practice whereby men and women danced together, including instances in which men danced with married women. However, the Rabbanim observed that this led to severe breaches of modesty and morality, and they therefore enacted formal decrees prohibiting such conduct. The responsa literature records strong communal enactments and bans against mixed dancing, and numerous leading Rabbanim endorsed these decrees and urged their strict enforcement.
In one source, the Rabbanim write that there is no greater habituation to sin than men and women dancing together. They further note that even during joyous celebrations, the Torah requires separation between men and women when there is concern for impropriety. They therefore describe mixed dancing as a great breach that must be fenced off through communal enactments.
Likewise, the responsa record that decrees were enacted forbidding men from entering dances with women, and these enactments were accepted and reaffirmed by numerous Rabbanim and communities. The sources describe this custom of separation as having become widespread throughout Jewish communities and as a vital safeguard for holiness and modesty.
Furthermore, even were one to attempt to argue that mixed dancing does not violate the Biblical prohibition of Lo Sikrevu in every instance, Jewish communities throughout the generations have accepted additional safeguards in matters of modesty and forbidden relations. The responsa explicitly present these enactments as protective fences around the Torah and praise the communities that strengthened them.
Accordingly, both from the standpoint of the general Biblical prohibition against conduct leading to arayos and from the standpoint of longstanding communal enactments accepted throughout the Jewish world, mixed dancing is prohibited. The historical responsa demonstrate that once Rabbanim witnessed the practical consequences of such behavior, they enacted strong prohibitions against it, and this has remained the accepted practice of observant Jewish communities for centuries.
Now, some attempt to justify mixed dancing from the Talmudic description of the festivities of the Fifteenth of Av, claiming that in earlier generations men and women danced together and only later Rabbanim introduced excessive stringencies. This argument is entirely unfounded. The Gemara states that the daughters of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards, while the young men would come to observe them in order to find suitable wives. It was a matchmaking event, not a mixed dancing event. Nowhere does the Gemara state that the men and women danced together. On the contrary, the sources indicate that the women danced among themselves while the men watched from a distance for the purpose of choosing a prospective bride. Indeed, one of the responsa cited above explicitly uses this Gemara as proof against mixed dancing, noting that the women danced separately and that the men did not participate in the dancing with them. Accordingly, those who seek to derive from Tu B’Av a Talmudic precedent for mixed dancing are greatly mistaken, as the Gemara provides no support whatsoever for men and women dancing together
Sources:
Michaber E.H. 21:1 [Issur Lo Sikrav]; Rambam Issurei Biya 21; Michaber E.H. 21:6 [Issur Sheilas shalom]; Shmuel Keddushin 70b; Shut Haradach Mekurpo 14:1; Shut Binyamin Zev Vol. 3 Dinei Hakehilos Lemigdar Milsa p. 89-93