Introduction
The first year of marriage occupies a unique place in Torah law and Jewish family life. The Torah does not view marriage merely as a legal bond established under the Chuppah, but as the beginning of a lifelong relationship that requires dedicated investment, attention, and emotional development. Accordingly, the Torah grants special status to a newly married husband during the first year of marriage and commands him to devote himself to strengthening his relationship with his wife. The purpose of this mitzvah is not merely romantic companionship. The Sefer HaChinuch explains that the Torah desired the establishment of strong and loving Jewish homes built upon mutual affection and familiarity. By spending extensive time together during the first year, husband and wife become attached to one another, their bond is solidified, and the foundation is laid for a lifelong Bayis Ne’eman BeYisrael. Accordingly, the Poskim discuss two primary obligations of the first year: the obligation to bring joy to one’s wife and the restrictions against prolonged absence from the marital home. While the scope of these restrictions is debated, all agree that the first year should be utilized to build and strengthen the marriage relationship.
- Rejoicing One’s Wife During the First Year
The verse[1] states that a husband is obligated to rejoice with his wife during the first year of marriage. Some Poskim[2] learn this to be a positive command, and part of the 613 Mitzvos.
Its definition – Making her Happy:[3] This does not mean that he should stay unemployed and spend time in wining and dining with his wife all year long. Rather, it means that he should fulfill her wishes in every way possible, to pleasure her. He is to do for her all matters that make her happy.
The Application of the Command during exile:[4] This command applies in all areas [and in all times] being it is a body dependent Mitzvah.
To whom it applies:[5] This Mitzvah applies for all new wives, whether a Besula or widow, although does not apply if one remarries his ex-wife.
- Leaving Home During the First Year[6]
The Torah[7] states that “When one marries a new wife he is not to go to the warfront or do other matters and is to be available to his house for one year and rejoice his wife that he took.” From here we derive the Biblical command that a Chasan within the year of marriage may not go out to war.[8] Regarding if the Chasan may be away from home [i.e. his wife] for other purposes we find a dispute amongst the Poskim:
The Lenient Opinion: Some Poskim[9] rule that the above command is only in reference to leaving his wife to go to war, however a Chasan during the first year, may travel away from home for business or other purposes, for his own benefit.[10]
The Stringent Opinion: Other Poskim[11], however, rule it is forbidden for the Chasan to leave his wife during the first year even for business purposes.[12]
May the Wife Grant Permission? Some Poskim[13] rule that even according to the latter opinion, if one’s wife is Mochel [i.e. forgives] for him to be away from home, one may travel away for business.
Travel for a Mitzvah: Even the stringent opinions generally permit travel for the purpose of a mitzvah.[14]
Practical ruling: Practically, if it is necessary for one to be away from home, and his wife, during the first year, he should ask for her Mechila/permission. If she is not Mochel, then for a Mitzvah, he may travel even without her permission, otherwise a Rav is to be contacted.
Two-Sentence Summary
During the first year of marriage, a husband is commanded to devote special attention to bringing joy to his wife and strengthening the foundations of their marriage. While Poskim debate whether a husband may travel away from home for personal or business reasons during this year, the accepted approach is to avoid unnecessary prolonged absences and to travel only when justified by necessity, mitzvah, or the wife’s willing consent.
Quick Reference Table
| Situation | Halachic Status |
| Bringing joy to one’s wife during first year | Mitzvah |
| Spending quality time with wife | Required spirit of mitzvah |
| Military service | Exempt |
| Governmental and communal duties | Exempt |
| Business travel | Subject to dispute |
| Travel alone with wife’s permission | Generally permitted according to many Poskim |
| Travel for mitzvah | Permitted |
| Travel for necessary livelihood | Often permitted |
| Extended discretionary trips | Discouraged according to many Poskim |
| Remarrying one’s former wife | Shanah Rishonah generally does not apply |
Practical Examples
Example 1
A husband receives an invitation to spend a weekend vacationing with friends during his first year of marriage. According to many Poskim, such a trip should not be undertaken, especially if it involves a prolonged separation from his wife.
Example 2
A husband needs to travel for several days to secure employment that will support the household. If the travel is genuinely necessary and his wife agrees, there is substantial basis for leniency.
Example 3
A newly married man wishes to travel to attend an important Torah learning program. Travel undertaken for a mitzvah purpose is generally permitted.
Example 4
A husband receives an optional business opportunity that would require frequent lengthy absences from home throughout the first year. He should consult a Rav, as many Poskim view extended absence during Shanah Rishonah as contrary to the purpose of the mitzvah.
Example 5
A divorced couple remarry one another after several years apart. According to many Poskim, the special obligations of Shanah Rishonah do not apply since she is not considered a “new wife” to him.
[1] Ki Seitzei Devarim 24:5
[2] Sefer Hachinuch Ki Seitzei Mitzvah 582; Yireim 190 [228]; Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos L.S. 311 lists the Mitzva of not leaving the home during war, however, does not mention the matter of Simcha; See Toafos Rieim on yireim ibid
[3] Aruch Hashulchan 64:4
[4] Yireim 190 [228]; See Aruch Hashulchan ibid who casts doubt as to whether this ruling of the Yireim is binding being that it is omitted by all the other Poskim
[5] Aruch Hashulchan ibid
[6] See Pischeiy Teshuvah 64:2; Rav Poalim 3 E.H. 9; Mishnas Yehoshua 31; Sdei Chemed Chasan Viklal 29; Shulchan Haezer E.H. 12:10; Otzer Haposkim E.H. 64; Tzitz Eliezer 19:41; Betzel Hachochma 4:72; Divrei Yatziv 2:274; Birur Halacha Telisa E.H. 64
[7] Ki Seitzei Devarim 24:5
[8] Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos L.S. 311 [According to one Nussach, However, see Radbaz ibid and Minchas Chinuch ibid that this is not the correct Nussach]; Sefer Hachinuch Ki Seitzei Mitzvah 58; Yireim ibid; Dvar Moshe E.H. 28; Nachal Kedumim Chida Ki Seitzei 24
[9] Radbaz 1:231 based on Semag and Rambam, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 64:2; Chaim Sheol 1:93 [unlike what he implied in his Sefer Nachal Kedumim Chida Ki Seitzei 24]; Minchas Chinuch 582; Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:155 “The Chinuch is a Daas Yachid in this matter and the Rambam did not rule this way”; Aruch Hashulchan 64:4 “Some want to say.. there is no source for such a thing”
[10] The reason: As the entire reason he is not to go to war is because his mind is preoccupied with his wife and he will not fight with all his heart. [See Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:155] Likewise, traveling for business is considered a Mitzvah. [Chasam Sofer ibid; See Admur 248]
[11] Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos L.S. 311 [According to one Nussach, However see Radbaz ibid and Minchas Chinuch ibid that this is not the correct Nussach]; Sefer Hachinuch Ki Seitzei Mitzvah 582; Likkutei Hapardes of Rashi; Dvar Moshe E.H. 28; Chochmas Adam 129:19 and Binas Adam 37, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 64:2; Kitzur SHU”A 149:13; China Vechisda Kesubos 2:230; Rav Poalim ibid [concludes like China Vechisda]; See Chasam Sofer E.H. 2:155; Toafos Riem on Yireim ibid; Nachal Kedumim Chida Ki Seitzei 24
[12] The reason: As the entire reason he is not to go to war, is in order to spend time with his wife and create a bond with her that will serve to solidify their relationship for all their future years and help build a Bayis Neman Beyisrael. The Torah desired that children be born to a family in where the husband and wife love each other, and this takes a year of development. [Chinuch ibid] Alternatively, just as Hashem stayed with Bnei Yisrael under Har Sinai for a full year after Matan Torah, so too, a husband is to act with his wife. [See Rabbeinu Bechayeh Ki Seitzei]
[13] Chochmas Adam ibid, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 64:2; Divrei Mordechai E.H. 3, brought in Rav Poalim 3:9; See China Vechisda Kesubos 2:230; Rav Poalim ibid
Other opinions: From some Poskim it is implied that it is forbidden to leave one’s wife even with her permission. [See Divrei Mordechai ibid; Rav Poalim ibid; Chochmas Adam ibid]
[14] Chasam Sofer ibid