Question
I was eating at someone’s house and noticed that after the meal they went straight to Birchas Hamazon without washing Mayim Achronim. I was surprised because I was taught that Mayim Achronim is an obligation and should be performed before Bentching. Why do some people not do Mayim Achronim? Is it optional, and what is the accepted practice today?
Answer
The short answer is that there are two longstanding approaches found in the Poskim.
Many Poskim, especially based on Kabbalah and Chassidic custom, maintain that Mayim Achronim remains an important obligation even today and should be performed after every bread meal. Others relied on earlier Ashkenazic customs that were lenient because some of the original reasons for the enactment were no longer considered applicable in their communities. Therefore, when you see someone not performing Mayim Achronim, it does not necessarily mean they are disregarding halacha; they may be relying on established opinions and customs. However, one should certainly not ridicule or mock those who are careful to perform it.
Explanation
The Original Institution of Mayim Achronim: The Gemara and Shulchan Aruch state that Mayim Achronim was instituted by Chazal and is a mitzvah. The washing is performed before Birchas Hamazon in order to prepare oneself to bless Hashem with holiness and cleanliness. The sources record several reasons for the institution:
- To sanctify oneself before Birchas Hamazon when one’s hands may be dirty from the meal.
- Because of the danger of “Melach Sedomis” (Sodomite salt), which could damage one’s eyesight if it came into contact with the eyes.
- Due to dangers recorded by Chazal, including a tragic incident associated with neglecting Mayim Achronim.
- According to the Zohar and Kabbalah, to remove harmful spiritual forces associated with the remnants of the meal.
Because of these reasons, many Poskim write very strongly about the importance of being careful with this mitzvah.
Then Why Did Some People Stop Doing It? This is the key point. The Alter Rebbe, following earlier Ashkenazic authorities, records that some communities no longer practiced Mayim Achronim regularly. The reason was that the practical concerns which originally led to the enactment no longer seemed applicable.
They argued:
- Sodomite salt was no longer commonly found.
- People were no longer particularly concerned about the level of dirt remaining on their hands after eating.
- Accordingly, the practical reasons for the enactment had largely fallen away.
Based on this reasoning, a custom developed among some Ashkenazic communities not to be strict regarding Mayim Achronim.
Why Are Chassidim and Many Others Careful About It? The Alter Rebbe immediately adds that it is proper to be careful to perform Mayim Achronim, especially according to the teachings of Kabbalah. The Kabbalistic reason is independent of whether Sodomite salt exists or whether one’s hands appear dirty. According to the Zohar, Mayim Achronim serves a spiritual purpose that remains fully applicable today. For this reason, among Chassidim and many other G-d-fearing Jews, the widespread custom is to perform Mayim Achronim after every bread meal, even if one ate with a fork and never touched salt directly.
The Rebbe on Mocking Mayim Achronim: The Rebbe addressed this issue directly. The Rebbe acknowledged that there are complete and G-d-fearing Jews who do not perform Mayim Achronim because they rely on the lenient opinions and customs mentioned above.
However, the Rebbe sharply distinguished between relying on a legitimate halachic opinion and mocking the practice. The Rebbe stated that while some have grounds upon which to rely, nobody has the right to make fun of Jews who are careful to observe this mitzvah. The Rebbe described such mockery as chutzpah toward matters of holiness. In a Shavuos 1985 farbrengen, the Rebbe spoke strongly about a well-known Orthodox leader who publicly ridiculed Mayim Achronim and those who practiced it. The Rebbe noted that severe tragedy later struck his family and connected this to the warnings found in the Talmud regarding disrespect for Mayim Achronim.
Prctical Conclusion
If you see someone not performing Mayim Achronim, do not immediately assume he is doing something improper. He may be following a longstanding custom based on accepted opinions recorded by the Poskim. At the same time, according to the Alter Rebbe, the Mekubalim, and the widespread Chassidic custom, it is proper for every person to be careful to perform Mayim Achronim. Most importantly, whichever custom one follows, this is not a subject for ridicule or mockery, as both practices have roots in the halachic literature, and the observance of Mayim Achronim remains a mitzvah cherished by countless Jews.
Sources
Admur 181:1-2 and 9; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Mayim Achronim Vol. 46 pp. 629-
The obligation of Mayim Achronim: Admur 181:1 “Mayim Acharonim is a mitzvah because of holiness. One is to sanctify himself before blessing Hashem over the food, as hands that are soiled from the residue of the meal are unfit for a blessing. In addition, the Sages made it an obligation even for those who are not personally reciting Birchas Hamazon, but are fulfilling their obligation by listening to someone else recite it. This is because the Sages said: “After every meal, eat salt.” There exists a type of salt known as Sodomite salt, which can blind the eyes. Therefore, there is concern that a person may have touched a grain of Sodomite salt, or another salt possessing similar properties, that was mixed into the salt eaten after the meal. If he later touches his eyes before washing his hands, he could damage his vision. For this reason, one must first wash his hands.”; Michaber 181:1; Brachos 53b; Chulin 105a
The reasons of Kedusha, Sodomite salt, danger, and Kabbalah: Admur 181:1-2; Kaf Hachaim 181:1; Zohar Terumah 154b
The custom of some Ashkenazim not to perform Mayim Achronim: Admur 181:9“There are those who are not accustomed to wash Mayim Acharonim, because Sodomite salt is no longer commonly found among us, and regarding dirty hands they are not concerned. Since nowadays people are not particular to wash their hands from the residue of food after a meal, such hands are not considered “dirty” (mezuhamos) for us. Nevertheless, a person who is fastidious (istenis) and is accustomed to washing his hands after a meal, then for him the hands are considered dirty, and he must wash them before Birchas Hamazon. Likewise, even if he wishes to recite a blessing over wine during the meal, he should first clean his hands before making the blessing. However, it is proper for every person to be careful regarding Mayim Acharonim.”; Michaber 181:10; Tosafos Brachos 53b; Eruvin 17b; Chulin 105a; Rosh Brachos 8:6; Mordechai Brachos 207; 191; Semag Asei 27; M”A 181:9
The ruling that it is proper to be careful with Mayim Achronim: Admur 181:9; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 44:1; Kaf Hachaim 181:27
The Rebbe’s comments regarding mocking Mayim Achronim: Sichas Shavuos 5745; Shavuos 1985