- Matters of Holiness and Modesty:[1]
It is the responsibility of the father and the mother to train their child to observe the boundaries of holiness and modesty, to guard one’s eyes from immodest imagery and to educate them regarding proper conduct in matters of moral boundaries.[2] Accordingly, if one sees a child performing an immoral and immodest act then it is fitting for anyone to intervene and separate the child from wrongdoing, even if they are not the child’s parents.[3] See Chapter 1 Halacha 7e for the full details of this matter!
- Shemiras Eiynayim:[4]
One is to be particular to educate his children from a young age in matters of Tznius and Shemiras Eiynayim in order so they abide by these matters when they are older. See Chapter 6 Halacha 6 for the full details of this matter!
- Educating one’s children against predators, pedophiles, and molesters:
Child sexual abuse has become a widespread and devastating problem that has affected Jewish communities as well, making it a halachic and moral obligation for parents and educators to protect children through proper education. The Torah’s emphasis on kedusha includes proactive safeguards, teaching children to avoid dangerous situations and to recognize and report inappropriate behavior, just as they are taught other safety rules. Although this topic was often avoided due to discomfort and a desire to shelter children, the severity of the harm and the prevalence of abuse no longer allow for silence. Educating children with clear prevention and awareness guidelines both protects them from harm and serves as a deterrent to potential predators, fulfilling responsibilities of morality, safety, and halacha. See Chapter 23 Halacha 11 for the full details of this matter!
- Non-Jewish music and lullabies:[5]
See Chapter 20 Halacha 3 for the full details of this matter!
Music with problematic lyrics, or which are associated with idolatry [i.e. Christianity], are forbidden to be listened to by both adults and children. Singing or listening to such music creates a bad nature within the person, and ignites his inclination towards sin. The Talmud states that Acher was drawn to heresy due to his singing the songs of the Greeks. Now, while gentile melodies which were not composed for idolatry or the church and are absent of any problematic lyrics are technically permitted, the Rebbe concludes that one should nevertheless avoid gentile lullabies altogether when possible. Instead, parents are encouraged to sing lullabies containing words of Torah, faith, and holiness so that a child’s earliest influences are purely Jewish and spiritually uplifting. Thus, even culturally neutral and seemingly innocent gentile lullabies—such as “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” or similar songs—should ideally not be sung to infants. The reasoning is that an infant’s soul absorbs and internalizes words and messages even before conscious understanding, and this spiritual imprint can later influence the child’s character and sensitivities.
The Rebbe – Instilling a Love for Torah from the Earliest Age[6]
In previous generations it was a cherished Jewish custom, especially among Jewish mothers, and it would be wonderful if it were widely practiced today as well, to lull young children to sleep with songs whose message was that although raisins and almonds are sweet and desirable, “Torah is the best merchandise” (Torah iz di beste sechorah). In this way, even a small child would absorb from his earliest years a love and appreciation for Torah. Chazal tell of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananiah, whose mother, while he was still an infant in his cradle, would bring him to the synagogue so that his ears would become accustomed to hearing words of Torah. As a result of this special dedication, Rabbi Yehoshua grew to become one of the greatest Torah sages. Indeed, the Mishnah praises him with the words, “Ashrei yoladeto” (“Fortunate is the one who gave birth to him”), referring to the exceptional role his mother played in his spiritual development. From this teaching of Chazal we learn an important lesson for every Jewish mother regarding the immense significance of educating sons and daughters. A mother should not think that she can wait until her child grows older and begins attending cheder or school before introducing him to Hashem, Torah, and mitzvos. Rather, even while the child is still in the cradle, he should already be surrounded by words, sounds, and an atmosphere of Torah. Moreover, this responsibility rests primarily upon the mother herself. Just as the mother of Rabbi Yehoshua personally brought her child to the synagogue rather than entrusting the task to someone else, so too the Jewish mother has a unique and irreplaceable role in planting within her child a lifelong love and attachment to Torah from the very beginning of life.
- Non-Kosher animals:
Parents should be careful not to expose a child, even from infancy, to imagery of non‑kosher animals. Accordingly, toys, pictures, and educational materials—such as alphabet books—should preferably depict only kosher species. The exception is when non‑kosher animals appear in Tanach, in which case they may be shown for the purpose of understanding the Torah text. Likewise, established synagogue customs that include animal imagery for symbolic or spiritual meaning are not included in this concern. See Chapter 15 Halacha 8 for the full details of this matter!
👉 Practical Chinuch Guidelines for Parents
- Teach Shemiras Einayim as a Positive Value
Children should be taught that guarding one’s eyes is a form of self‑respect and kedushah.
- Model Tznius and Digital Responsibility at Home
Parents must set the tone through what is visible in the home—screens, music, images, and internet usage. Children learn far more from exposure than from lectures.
- Create Open and Safe Communication
Children should feel comfortable speaking to parents about uncomfortable situations or questions. Silence or avoidance does not protect; calm, appropriate communication does.
- Actively Educate Children About Personal Safety
Teaching children about inappropriate touch, private boundaries, and how to seek help is not optional—it is a halachic and moral obligation. This education must be clear, calm, and repeated. - Empower Children to Say “No” and Report
Children must be taught that they are allowed—and required—to reject inappropriate behavior, even from familiar adults, and to report it immediately to a trusted parent or authority.
- Avoid Over‑Sheltering that Leads to Naivety
Protecting children does not mean keeping them uninformed. Lack of awareness increases risk. Proper chinuch balances innocence with preparedness. - Choose Jewish and Kedusha‑Focused Music and Media
Parents should prioritize Torah‑based songs, stories, and media, especially in early childhood. Early impressions leave lasting spiritual fingerprints.
Examples
📌 Example 1 – The Cohen Family (Shemiras Einayim & Media Awareness)
Mr. and Mrs. Cohen noticed that their eight‑year‑old son Ari was being exposed to inappropriate imagery through classmates’ devices. Rather than panicking or scolding, they calmly explained the Torah concept of Shemiras Einayim and set clear boundaries for device use. Ari learned that guarding his eyes is part of being a ben Torah and a Chassidishe Yid, not something to be ashamed of or afraid of.
📌 Example 2 – The Goldstein Family (Personal Safety Education)
The Goldstein parents proactively taught their daughter Rivka appropriate body boundaries using simple, respectful language. They explained which touches are never acceptable and reassured her that she could always tell them anything. When Rivka later felt uncomfortable around an adult’s behavior, she immediately spoke up—preventing harm and reinforcing trust.
📌 Example 3 – The Levi Family (Music and Early Influences)
In the Levi home, bedtime routines for their toddler Mendy included Jewish lullabies and stories of Torah values rather than secular songs. The parents understood that even before comprehension, a child absorbs atmosphere. This choice helped shape a home environment centered on kedushah and calm.
[1] Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 6; Shaareiy Chinuch pp. 140-144
[2] Sefer Chassidim 10 “and not seeing women…one is to educate his children from a young age in order so when he becomes older he not stumble”; Shelah Hakadosh Shaar Haosiyos Erech Derech Eretz; Shoel Umeishiv Basra 4:44; Or Sameiach on Rambam Rotzieach 1:13; Salmas Chaim 689 [Hilchos Harchaka Min Arayos 64]; Mishneh Halachos 12/296; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2
[3] Shoel Umeishiv Basra 4:44; Or Sameiach on Rambam Rotzieach 1:13; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2
[4] Sefer Chassidim 10 “and not seeing women…one is to educate his children from a young age in order so when he becomes older he not stumble”; Salmas Chaim 689 [Hilchos Harchaka Min Arayos 64]; Mishneh Halachos 12/296
[5] Sefer Chassidim 238; Shlah; Sifrei Mussar; Mamar Mordechai 560:1; Kaf Hachaim 560:29; Shaar Hatziyon 560:25; Toras Menachem 1987 2:647
[6] Sichas Kodesh 5741 1:247