Beyond formal Torah instruction, a father is obligated to guide his son in moral character and reverence for Heaven, shaping his conduct while parental authority remains effective.
The Age: The Alter Rebbe writes that this formative moral education is most effective between the ages of sixteen and twenty‑four, when the child is mature enough to accept guidance yet not so independent as to resist it. Before this stage, excessive rebuke is ineffective, while after it there is a risk of alienation. Early moral training during this critical period establishes lifelong patterns of behavior, in fulfillment of the mandate to educate a child according to the path he will follow throughout his life. [The statement that a child is not ready for tochacha (rebuke) before the age of sixteen may be understood as referring either to previous generations or to the particularly harsh forms of rebuke that were customary in earlier times. In contrast, in our generation—where rebuke is expressed in a far gentler and more constructive manner—the opposite approach applies. A parent is obligated to begin educating his children in good character traits and fear of Heaven from the very earliest ages, already from two or three years old, as taught by the Shlah HaKadosh.[3] At this young stage, the goal is to instill proper conduct as part of the child’s nature and to accustom the child to respectful awe of parental authority, for if a child is raised with excessive permissiveness and without discipline in his early years, he will ultimately fail to heed his parents’ guidance as he grows older.]
- Stealing:[4]
A child must be reprimanded for stealing, and it is proper for a Beis Din to smite the child for doing so in order so they do not accustom themselves to stealing. It is likewise proper for every individual to reprimand the child and prevent such behavior.
- Forbidden Speech and Lying – Sheker and Nivul Peh[5]
Parents[6] must actively stop their children from speaking or being involved in any of the following behaviors which are considered as severe prohibitions so they do not become accustomed to them:
- Lashon hara (negative speech about others)
- Arguments and quarrels
- Mockery or scoffing
- And similar harmful forms of speech
- [Nivul Peh, such as dirty words or curse words]
- Children lying:[7] One must be very careful to supervise children so that they do not get into the habit of lying. If a child does something wrong and is truthful about it, he is to be dealt with mercy, while if a child lies he is to be severely punished.
[One of the most essential yet often overlooked aspects of chinuch is teaching children proper speech and conduct—specifically refraining from forbidden speech such as lying, mocking, scoffing, or belittling others. While great attention is often devoted to educating children in the detailed laws of Torah and mitzvot, and even in refined customs and stringencies, this foundational area of character development is unfortunately sometimes neglected. It is not uncommon to find parents who invest tremendous effort in teaching their children halakhic details or advanced religious practices—occasionally even before the child is developmentally ready to fulfill them properly—yet fail to address inappropriate speech or behavior toward classmates, friends, or siblings. When a child is allowed to speak disrespectfully, mock others, or act unkindly without correction, an unhealthy message is conveyed: that religiosity can exist independently of basic decency and interpersonal responsibility. This imbalance can be deeply damaging. A child who grows up observing Torah and mitzvot meticulously, yet lacking compassion, humility, and respect for others, risks developing a fractured personality—externally religious but internally deficient in core character traits. Such a disconnect stands in direct opposition to the Torah’s vision, where ethical behavior and reverence for others are inseparable from religious observance. For this reason, it is a foremost duty of parents to educate their children from a young age to speak kindly, behave respectfully, and treat others with dignity. This includes correcting improper speech and conduct early, even when such behavior appears minor or socially acceptable. True chinuch is not limited to ritual observance; it is equally concerned with forming a refined character grounded in empathy, self‑restraint, and mutual respect. By prioritizing this dimension of education, parents lay the foundation for children to grow into adults who are not only observant Jews, but also individuals whose behavior reflects the values and ethics that the Torah seeks to instill.]
- Honesty – Educating your Children Against Cheating on Exams[8]
Cheating on tests has become a widespread and deeply concerning phenomenon within modern education, with large numbers of students admitting to some form of academic dishonesty. This is not merely an isolated personal failing but a societal problem, as it undermines the integrity of educational systems, distorts merit‑based opportunities such as scholarships and employment, and erodes trust across institutions and communities. From a Torah perspective, cheating constitutes a serious violation on multiple levels.[9] At its core, it falls under the prohibition of גניבת דעת (geneivat da’at), as the student creates a false impression of possessing knowledge or abilities that he does not actually have. In many cases, it may also involve actual גזילה (theft), particularly when one gains financial or professional benefits through fraudulent results or deprives others of opportunities that rightfully belong to them. Furthermore, it is a direct transgression of שקר (falsehood), violating the Torah’s command of מדבר שקר תרחק, as the grade or credential produced becomes a false representation of reality. In situations where the individual is identified with Torah values, such behavior may also result in a חילול השם (desecration of Hashem’s Name), damaging the moral credibility of those who represent Torah observance. Beyond the technical prohibitions, cheating corrupts the individual’s character, distancing him from truth and instilling habits of dishonesty that extend far beyond the classroom into all aspects of life. Accordingly, it is absolutely forbidden to cheat on any form of examination, whether academic, professional, or otherwise, and one who assists another in cheating shares in this wrongdoing as well. This reality places a profound responsibility upon parents, as habits of honesty or dishonesty are typically formed at a young age. It is therefore incumbent upon parents to actively educate their children from early on that cheating is fundamentally wrong—not merely a minor infraction, but an act of deception and, at times, theft. Even if a parent may have engaged in such behavior in their own youth, they should certainly not normalize, encourage, or subtly endorse it in their children. Instead, parents must instill the understanding that cheating is not merely a minor infraction, but an act of deception and, in many cases, a form of theft. A child should be taught that true success lies in honesty and effort, not in artificially inflated results. Indeed, it is far better—and far more aligned with proper ethical and Torah values—that a child fail a class honestly than pass through cheating. Such an approach nurtures integrity, responsibility, and genuine achievement. By emphasizing these values, parents help ensure that their children grow into individuals who uphold truth and fairness—not only in school, but throughout their lives. In doing so, they contribute to raising a generation that combines strong moral character with genuine academic and professional excellence.
Practical Examples
- Copying answers from another student during a test is forbidden.
- Looking at unauthorized notes during an exam is forbidden.
- Submitting someone else’s work as one’s own is forbidden.
- Helping another student cheat is forbidden.
- Lying about completing an assignment is forbidden.
- Training Children to Be Careful with Hashem’s Name
Parents should educate their children from a young age to show great care and respect when mentioning Hashem’s name. They should be taught not to use it casually or in vain, and to understand the holiness of speech. This builds a foundation of reverence and awareness of Hashem in daily life.
- Swearing[10]
Children should be taught not to swear, even if what they are saying is true. They must understand that oaths are serious and should generally be avoided.
- Guarding Secrets – Teaching Children the Difference Between Good Secrets and Bad Secrets[11]
Children should be taught the importance of being trustworthy and respecting the privacy of others. Not every piece of information needs to be shared. If someone confidentially shares personal information, or if a friend tells a child something private that is not harmful, the child should learn not to gossip or reveal it unnecessarily. A trustworthy person knows how to keep appropriate secrets and respect the dignity of others.
At the same time, children must be taught an equally important rule: there are certain secrets that should never be kept. No adult, older child, teacher, relative, counselor, or friend has the right to tell a child, “Don’t tell your parents,” regarding something that affects the child’s safety, wellbeing, or personal boundaries. Children should know that they may always tell their parents anything, regardless of whether someone asked them to keep it secret. Parents should explain to their children that there are good secrets and bad secrets.
Good Secrets
Good secrets are secrets that:
- Make people happy.
- Are temporary.
- Do not involve fear, harm, or uncomfortable situations.
Examples include:
- A surprise birthday party.
- A special gift for a parent.
- A surprise present for a sibling.
Bad Secrets
Bad secrets are secrets that:
- Make a child feel uncomfortable.
- Involve inappropriate behavior.
- Cause fear, confusion, or embarrassment.
- Require a child to hide something from his parents.
- Involve threats, gifts, manipulation, or special favors in exchange for silence.
Children should be taught that any secret that makes them uncomfortable must immediately be shared with a parent or another trusted adult.
The Rule Every Child Should Know
A child should be firmly taught:
“You never have to keep a secret from Mommy or Daddy.” Unfortunately, there are people who have harmed children by convincing them that certain matters must remain “just between us.” One of the most important protections a child can have is the confidence that he may always speak openly with his parents without fear of getting into trouble.
Good Secrets vs. Bad Secrets
| Good Secret | Bad Secret |
| Creates happiness | Creates fear |
| Temporary | Meant to be hidden indefinitely |
| Surprise birthday gift | “Don’t tell Mommy or Daddy” |
| Surprise party | Makes child uncomfortable |
| No one gets hurt | Someone may get hurt |
| Can eventually be told | Must be reported immediately |
- Ahavas Yisrael: Chinuch Against Xenophobia and the Duty to Teach Respect for All
Another critical component of proper chinuch—and one that is unfortunately all too common in many educational settings—is addressing attitudes of xenophobia and intolerance. It is not uncommon to encounter situations in which children mock, belittle, or exclude others simply because they are perceived as different. This may take the form of ridiculing a classmate’s skin color, ethnic background, accent, country of origin, or even differences in religious custom or affiliation. Whether the distinction is between Ashkenazi and Sephardi backgrounds, between different communal or kehilla traditions, between chasidic groups with differing philosophies, or even between children who outwardly appear religiously similar but adhere to different customs or outlooks, such behavior is deeply harmful and entirely unacceptable. When children are allowed to engage in such conduct—mocking, bullying, or demeaning others based on difference—it cultivates cruelty, arrogance, and moral blindness. Left unchecked, this behavior can harden over time, becoming a deeply ingrained worldview that persists into adulthood. It is therefore an absolute obligation upon parents to intervene decisively, to stop such behavior immediately, and to educate their children that every person is created with inherent dignity and Ahavas Yisrael. Respect for others, regardless of background or affiliation, is not a secondary value but a fundamental expression of Torah ideals. True religiosity is measured not only by observance, but by humility, empathy, and the ability to see another person as deserving of honor and kindness. Parents who take this responsibility seriously help ensure that their children grow into Jews whose character reflects the ethical heart of the Torah, not merely its external forms.
Example
A ten-year-old boy returned home from school and began imitating the accent of a new classmate whose family had recently immigrated. Several siblings laughed, and for a moment the child felt proud of his performance. His father immediately stopped the conversation and explained that Hashem created every Jew with dignity, regardless of where he comes from, how he speaks, or which customs he follows. The child was instructed to apologize to the classmate the next day. Years later, that lesson remained with him far longer than any lecture about Ahavas Yisrael.
- Judging Others Favorably
A parent should instill in a child the value of judging others favorably (dan lekaf zechus). Instead of jumping to negative conclusions, children should be trained to assume good intentions. This cultivates kindness, empathy, and unity.
- Avoiding Revenge
Children must be educated not to take revenge or act out of anger toward others. They should learn to practice forgiveness and patience. This helps develop strong character and peaceful relationships.
- Avoiding and Preventing Machlokes
Parents should train children to stay away from disputes and not to create or prolong arguments. Instead, they should be guided toward making peace and resolving conflicts calmly. This instills a love for harmony and unity within the community.
- Sensitivity to Another Jew’s Feelings[12]
An important goal of Jewish education is to train a child from the youngest age to be deeply sensitive to the feelings of others and to feel genuine pain when he causes distress or embarrassment to another Jew. This lesson is illustrated by a story from the childhood of the Rebbe Rashab. When he was four years old, he innocently pulled a piece of cloth from a tailor’s pocket while the tailor was fitting a garment for his mother. The tailor became embarrassed and hurriedly explained himself. After the tailor left, his mother gently reproved the child for having caused the tailor embarrassment, and the Rebbe Rashab cried bitterly. Several weeks later he asked his father how one can rectify the sin of embarrassing another person. Yet he refused to reveal the details of what had happened, explaining that it was enough that he had been involved in causing embarrassment and he did not wish to add the transgression of speaking negatively about another Jew. What is remarkable is that the embarrassment had been caused unintentionally, was relatively minor, and occurred in private, yet he was deeply distressed simply because another Jew had experienced shame. The lesson is that children can and should be educated from a very young age to care profoundly about the dignity and feelings of others, to avoid speaking negatively about fellow Jews, and to develop a genuine love and concern for every member of the Jewish people.
- Shul Behavior: Educating Children to Behave Properly in Shul
Parents have a responsibility to educate their children, once they reach the age of chinuch, to attend Shul respectfully, participate in the minyan, and answer Amen with awe and reverence. Proper behavior in Shul is an essential part of a child’s spiritual education, instilling respect for tefillah and the sanctity of a Makom Kadosh. However, children who are too young to behave appropriately, run around, make noise, or disturb others should not be brought to Shul, as this both desecrates its holiness and trains them in improper conduct. As emphasized by the Shlah, bringing children who cannot behave properly not only disrupts the congregation but also harms the child’s long-term attitude toward Shul and davening, making parental discernment in this matter essential. See Chapter 9 Halacha 7C for the full details of this matter!
- Kibbud Horim Umorim – Teaching Respectful Speech to parents and elders:[13]
If a parent[14] hears their young child speaking disrespectfully, they must reprimand them. This applies equally to:
- A mother hearing her child speak improperly to his father
- A father hearing his child speak improperly to his mother
This requirement exists so that children become accustomed from a young age to showing respect toward their parents. Experience demonstrates that when children grow accustomed to disrespectful behavior toward their parents early on—even when it is expressed in a seemingly harmless or “cute” manner—such behavior can, unfortunately, persist into adulthood. Therefore, proper chinuch requires that parents educate and guide their children from an early age, instilling appropriate conduct and respect consistently, so that proper behavior becomes natural and ingrained. Likewise, this behavior itself is for the long-term benefit of the child, as through respecting his parents he will merit long life.
See Chapter 16 for the full details of this matter!
- From a Letter of the Rebbe: Redirecting the Focus of Chinuch – Prioritizing Character and Good Midos over Secondary Debates such as speaking Yiddish[15]
Parents must prioritize moral refinement and yiras Shamayim over secondary educational disputes or external concerns. Torah education is incomplete if it produces technically observant children who lack discipline, respect, or consideration for others. The following letter of the Rebbe is a great reminder of this matter:
In Kfar Chabad, a heated and prolonged debate arose between parents and school leadership regarding the language of instruction in the school—whether the children should be taught primarily in Yiddish or in Hebrew. The discussion became increasingly divisive, with both sides arguing passionately for their position, until the disagreement escalated into a major machloket within the community.
In response, the Rebbe addressed the issue in a powerful and memorable letter to the Va’ad and the parent body. At first, the Rebbe carefully acknowledged and analyzed the arguments presented by both sides, demonstrating sensitivity to the concerns and intentions behind each viewpoint. However, after addressing the merits of the debate, the Rebbe shifted the focus entirely.
The Rebbe concluded with a timely and penetrating message, pointing out that, although the question of language had stirred considerable emotion and energy, it appeared that these efforts were being invested in the wrong area of chinuch. The true and most urgent issue confronting the community, the Rebbe emphasized, was not linguistic preference, but the moral and spiritual conduct of the children—their behavior, discipline, respect, and refinement of character.
Through this letter, the Rebbe redirected the community’s attention away from secondary concerns and toward the essential foundation of Jewish education, urging parents and school leadership alike to prioritize genuine chinuch that molds character and instills fear of Heaven alongside Torah learning.
A Letter from the Rebbe[16]
To the Va’ad of the School and to the Parent Body of Kfar Chabad
At the conclusion of this letter, I feel compelled to address a matter that is most astonishing—namely, that an issue which is of primary and fundamental importance with regard to the students of the Talmud Torah has not been mentioned at all.
From several directions, I have received troubling reports concerning the conduct of the students of the Talmud Torah, particularly on sacred days—Shabbat and Yom Tov—as well as on the eves of Shabbat and Yom Tov. Similar reports have reached me regarding their behavior in the synagogue, not only on weekdays but even during the holy times themselves.
Although part of the responsibility certainly rests upon the teachers and educators of the Talmud Torah—for education according to Torah does not pertain only to study within the walls of the classroom, but extends to behavior beyond it, particularly in holy places such as synagogues and batei midrash—nevertheless, a most significant portion of the responsibility, and perhaps the primary responsibility, rests upon the parents, both the father and the mother.
It is incumbent upon parents to instill in their children refined character traits through every means at their disposal. Even if parents are burdened and occupied with many matters, this obligation remains among their foremost duties. If this responsibility applies during the regular days of study, it applies all the more so on Friday afternoons after midday, and on Shabbat and Yom Tov themselves. At those times, the primary responsibility unquestionably rests with the parents, for every moment then must be utilized for matters of Torah and fear of Heaven.
I therefore strongly hope that the enthusiasm and energy that have been aroused concerning the question of the language of instruction—whether Yiddish or Hebrew—which in practical terms relates only to the period near the beginning of the school year, will now certainly be harnessed, and to the greatest possible degree, toward guiding the students in proper character development and in matters of fear of Heaven. These are areas that do not fall exclusively under the formal curriculum of the Talmud Torah, such as the proper recitation of blessings, prayer as required, honoring parents, teachers, and elders, and proper and respectful conduct between one person and another.
These matters are especially significant at this time of the year, the days of the Omer, which are uniquely designated for strengthening the practice of showing respect for one another.
Accordingly, immediately upon receipt of this letter, I expect that an assembly be convened of all parents—Ashkenazic and Sephardic alike, and those who support one language or the other. This gathering should be devoted to a serious and focused discussion of the issue at hand: the conduct of the students, both within and beyond the walls of the Talmud Torah, including discipline, order, and adherence to the frameworks of learning.
This discussion must be approached with the gravity it deserves, in a manner that leads directly to concrete action. To that end, a parents’ committee should be selected, upon whom responsibility for this matter will rest going forward. This committee should in turn determine a group of parents who will maintain vigilant supervision over the students, ensuring proper conduct, along with additional steps appropriate for correcting the situation promptly and steadily improving it—progressing ever upward in goodness.
It is my earnest prayer that I will receive good news in return mail regarding all the above, and—most importantly—that there will be a true drawing together of hearts: a genuine unity, in which each individual, and all together, do everything within their power so that this goal is fulfilled among the students of the Talmud Torah, alongside all the other students of the boys’ and girls’ institutions in Kfar Chabad—so that they may grow to be תלמידים הראויים לשמם באמת, reflecting Torah not only in study, but in character and conduct.
With blessing for success in all the above matters,
[The Rebbe]
- Goyishe Behavior: Emphasizing Education against Goyishe speech, dress, and behavior[17]
Children should be taught not to imitate non‑Jewish ways, neither in speech nor in dress, and to distance themselves from the company of people who engage in improper or sinful behavior.
👉 Practical Chinuch Guidelines for Developing Good Middos and Yiras Shamayim
- Focus on Character No Less Than on Technical Observance
Parents should ensure that refining character, proper speech, and derech eretz receive no less attention than learning halachic details or performing mitzvos. Torah observance without good middos undermines the purpose of chinuch.
- Do Not Allow Repeated Small Misconduct to Become Habitual
Mockery, disrespect, lying, or rude speech—especially when dismissed as “minor” or “childish”—can become ingrained. Early correction prevents such behavior from hardening into permanent character flaws.
- Address Stealing Firmly and Immediately
Taking another’s property, even in small ways, must never be overlooked. Clear correction and restitution teach responsibility and prevent a dangerous habit from forming.
- Model Respectful Speech Constantly
Children learn how to speak by imitation. Parents must model respectful, calm, and honest speech—especially when disagreeing—so children internalize proper communication.
- Teach Sensitivity and Ahavas Yisrael Proactively
Children should be taught from a young age that mocking or excluding others due to background, customs, accent, or appearance is unacceptable. Respect for all Jews is a core Torah value, not an optional refinement.
- Correct Disrespect Toward Parents Immediately and Calmly
Disrespectful speech toward parents should never be ignored—even if said playfully. Early correction ensures that kibbud horim becomes second nature, protecting the child’s future relationship with authority and Torah.
- Be Discerning About Bringing Children to Shul
Children should be brought to shul only when they are capable of behaving respectfully. Forcing a child who cannot yet behave appropriately trains disrespect toward tefillah and the makom kadosh.
- Avoid Turning Chinuch into Power Struggles
Correction should be firm but measured. Excessive harshness or constant rebuke—especially at a young age—may cause resistance and resentment rather than growth.
Practical Examples
🌿 Example 1 – The Friedman Family (Speech and Respect):
When nine‑year‑old Yehuda Friedman began mocking an Israeli classmate’s accent at home, his parents addressed it immediately. Rather than ignoring it or laughing it off, they explained why such speech is wrong and required Yehuda to apologize. Over time, the family’s consistent response taught Yehuda that Torah observance includes sensitivity and respect for others.
🌿 Example 2 – The Rosenfeld Family (Shul Behavior):
Mr. and Mrs. Rosenfeld noticed that their five‑year‑old son Mendy had difficulty sitting quietly in shul. Instead of forcing him to attend and repeatedly reprimanding him, they arranged shorter visits paired with positive reinforcement.
What Children Learn Mostly From
| Area | What the Child Hears | What the Child Sees | What Influences More |
| Respect | Parents speaking about respect | Parents acting respectfully | What they see |
| Honesty | Lectures about truth | Parents admitting mistakes | What they see |
| Ahavas Yisrael | Torah lessons | Parents treating others kindly | What they see |
| Prayer | Being told to daven | Seeing parents pray sincerely | What they see |
| Torah Learning | Being told Torah is important | Seeing Torah learned at home | What they see |
[1] See Avodas Yisrael Avos 3:12; Notzer Chesed on Avos ibid; Chelkas Yehoshua mamar 6:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:6; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 10:5-14
[2] Hilchos Talmud Torah Chapter 1 Halacha 6 “And likewise, the father must guide him in the path of moral conduct and fear of Heaven in all his ways and behaviors, while his authority over his son remains firm—that is, until the son reaches the age of twenty‑four years. As it is stated: ‘Train a child according to his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6). This training refers to the formative path that will shape his conduct throughout his life. Such education is to be carried out during his youth, specifically from the age of sixteen until the age of twenty‑four, for before the age of sixteen a child lacks sufficient maturity to fully accept rebuke. Excessive discipline and admonition should not be imposed too early, and beyond the age of twenty‑four there is concern that the son may rebel.”; Kaf Hachaim 343:25; Igros Kodesh Vol. 25 pp. 142-144
[3] Shelah Shaar Haosiyos Derech Eretz “from two or three years of age and onward, that goodness should become part of his natural character… and that he be accustomed to awe of his father, to be fearful and reverent…. But if during his youth one shows him excessive affection, then afterward, when he grows older, he will turn his ear away from listening to his father and mother….”
[4] Rambam Geneiva 1:10; Maggid Mishneh Geneiva 1:10 in name of Rambam; Bach 343 in end; Beir Hagoleh C.M. 349:5; Chayeh Adam 66:5; P”M 343 M”Z 2; M”B 343:9 in name of P”M and other Achronim; Kaf Hachaim 343:26; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 6; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 200
[5] M”B 343:3; Kaf Hachaim 343:25; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:6
[6] According to the letter of the law, this obligation applies only to the father, and only once the child has reached the age of chinuch, as explained in Chapter 1. However, it is proper conduct for both parents—the father and the mother—to reprimand a child who engages in such behavior. This applies even when the child has not yet reached the age of chinuch, as part of appropriate parental guidance and moral education.
[7] Pela Hayoeitz “Sheker”
[8] Igros Moshe C.M. 2:30; Shevet Halevi 10:163; Mishneh Halachos 7:275; Imrei Yaakov 7 Likkutim 5; Yoru Mishpatecha 1 p. 224; Lireiacha Kamocha 1 3:75;
[9] See Admur O.C. 156:2 [regarding the prohibition of lying in monetary and business contexts]; Admur Hilchos Gezeila Ugeneiva Halacha 4 [stealing]; Admur Hilchos Onah 11–12 [Geneivas Daas]; Michaber C.M. 156:1; 228:6; Rama C.M. 348:2; Rambam Deios 2:6; Geneiva 7:8; Gezeila Veaveida 1:4; Mechira 18:1 and 3; Mordechai Remez 158 in name of Ravayah; Semag Asei 74; Chulin 94a; Semak 262; Rambam in Pirush hamishnayos Keilim 12:7 that those people who mistakenly think that it is permitted to scam a Gentile are making a grave mistake. All types of trickery and scams are forbidden even towards a Gentile, and certainly if this will involve a desecration of God’s name. Those who do so are considered to be doing an abomination in the eyes of God; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Gezel Hagoy Vol. 5
[10] Rama Y.D. 233:1
[11] Admur 156:14; M”A 156; Semag Lavin 9; Hagahos Maimanis end of Hilchos Deios; Yuma 4b; Chikikeiy Lev
[12] Likkutei Sichos 15:134; Sichos Kodesh 5741 4:144; Shaareiy Chinuch p. 93-94
[13] Kaf Hachaim 343:25
[14] According to the letter of the law, this obligation applies only to the father, and only once the child has reached the age of chinuch, as explained in Chapter 1. However, it is proper conduct for both parents—the father and the mother—to reprimand a child who engages in such behavior. This applies even when the child has not yet reached the age of chinuch, as part of appropriate parental guidance and moral education.
[15] Igros Kodesh Vol. 25 pp. 142-144
[16] Igros Kodesh Vol. 25 pp. 142-144
[17] Chelkas Yehoshua Mamar 1