📖 Chapter 2: The Age of Chinuch

Chapter 2: The Age of Chinuch[1]

 

1. The relevance of the age of Chinuch:

In the previous Chapter we explained and clarified the obligation of a father to educate his son and daughter in Torah and Mitzvos. [Halacha 2 and 7A] This obligation includes both biblical and rabbinic commandments, and applies to both positive and negative commandments. [Halacha 3A] We further explained the father’s duty to reprimand his child when the child transgresses a prohibition, whether Biblical or Rabbinical. [Halacha 3B] In addition, we clarified the prohibition that applies to every individual—even one who is not the child’s father—to actively assist a minor in performing a prohibition. This includes providing the child with the means to perform the forbidden act or instructing him to do so. We explained that this prohibition applies regardless of the child’s age and is binding with respect to children of all ages. [Halacha 8] In this Chapter, we will clarify the following issue: from what age is a father obligated to educate his child in the positive and negative commandments, in order to accustom him to the observance of mitzvot, and to reprimand him for performing prohibitions? This obligation of education and reprimand differs fundamentally from the prohibition of feeding a child a forbidden item or actively enabling him to transgress, which applies at all ages. By contrast, the obligation to educate and to reprimand a child for actions he performs on his own applies only once the child has reached the age of chinuch. Defining this age precisely is the central focus of this Halacha.

 

2. Early education – Going beyond the letter of the law:[2]

Although there exists an appropriate age of education, as will be determined in the coming Halacha’s, this does not imply that there is any restriction against educating a child in a Mitzvah prematurely. On the contrary, there are many mitzvot [i.e. Kipa, washing hands] in which it is customary and praiseworthy to educate a child from the youngest ages, even before he has officially reached the age of chinuch.[3] Such early education serves to familiarize the child with the performance of mitzvot and to instill proper habits and character traits[4], as will be explained in the forthcoming chapters with respect to each individual mitzvah. Likewise, there are a number of matters relating to prohibitions in which it is customary to be careful from the very day a child is born, not as an obligation of formal chinuch, but in order to ensure that the child is surrounded by an atmosphere of holiness. Thus, for example, many are careful not to allow non‑Jewish music to be played in the presence of an infant, nor to place images of non‑kosher animals before him, even from the moment of birth. Although the child is far below the age of chinuch, these practices are observed in order to cultivate a sanctified environment and to immerse the child in holiness from his earliest moments. However, caution must be taken that the chosen matter of education not overburden the child, as we will explain next.

Cases where early education is forbidden:[5] It should also be noted that in certain cases we find that a child should not be educated in a particular practice at all, when doing so would cause him unnecessary distress or suffering to the child. Thus, for example, it is forbidden for a parent to withhold food or drink from a child for the purpose of educating him not to eat or drink prior to Kiddush or Havdalah, since causing the child anguish for the sake of education is itself prohibited, as will be explained in Chapter 11 Halacha 21F. Similarly, it is forbidden to educate a child to fast on Yom Kippur before he has reached the appropriate age, as will be explained in Chapter 12 Halacha 7I. In such situations, the consideration of the child’s emotional and physical well‑being takes precedence, and education that results in pain or suffering is not only counterproductive but halachically impermissible. Likewise, it is forbidden for a child to begin wearing tefillin prematurely, before he has reached the age at which he is capable of guarding a clean body and maintaining proper concentration, as will be explained in Chapter 8 Halacha 2a. Likewise, it is forbidden to marry off a child before he or she has reached the appropriate age, and doing so is considered akin to promiscuity, as will be explained in Chapter 25 Halacha 1A. See Halacha 9 for further details of this matter.

Should one do so – Calculating educational benefits versus long term resentment? One of the central themes—and one of the most significant challenges—facing parents is determining the appropriate age at which to begin educating their children. In this chapter, as stated, we will present the precise halachic ages at which a father is obligated to educate his child in mitzvot, customs, and in reprimanding him for transgressing prohibitions. These guidelines will likewise be clarified throughout this Sefer with respect to each individual mitzvah and prohibition. At the same time, parents often seek to go beyond the strict letter of the law and educate their children from the earliest age possible, as stated above. This raises an important question: when does early education—prior to the halachically mandated age—become counterproductive? The purpose of chinuch is not because the mitzvah performed by the child carries intrinsic halachic significance, for the child is not yet obligated until reaching bar or bas mitzvah. Rather, the purpose of chinuch is to accustom the child to mitzvah observance so that he will fulfill the commandments properly when he reaches adulthood. Accordingly, the primary objective is not merely that the child knows how to perform the physical actions of a mitzvah, but that he develops a genuine desire to perform them. Improper education or excessive reprimanding—especially when a child has not yet reached the age of chinuch, and even when he has—can be harmful if not approached with care and balance. One may “win the battle but lose the war,” meaning that while the parent may succeed in physically preventing a prohibition or forcing the fulfillment of a positive command, the child may be left with a negative emotional association. When he grows older, he may come to feel resentment, pressure, or a sense of being controlled by religious observance. For this reason, parents must exercise great caution when choosing to go beyond the letter of the law in educating their children. Moreover, even when halacha obligates education, parents must be especially mindful of the approach they employ, ensuring that it fosters a desire to fulfill mitzvot rather than resistance or resentment. Certainly, when a child has not yet reached the age of chinuch, one must be particularly careful in deciding whether—and how—to go beyond the strict halachic requirements in educating the child.

• Example #1: Eating Before Kiddush: A well‑meaning, highly observant parent wished to educate his child to the highest level of Jewish observance from the earliest possible age. As part of this approach, the parents did not allow their five‑year‑old child to eat or drink before Kiddush on Shabbat. On Shabbatot when the father attended a lengthy farbrengen and did not return home to make Kiddush until three o’clock in the afternoon, the child would become extremely hungry and cry repeatedly to his mother. Despite this, the mother would scold the child, insisting that “we do not eat before Kiddush,” believing that she was acting virtuously and properly educating her child, both halachically and psychologically. In reality, this practice was halachically incorrect and emotionally damaging. Rather than fostering a love for mitzvot, it caused the child unnecessary anguish and created negative associations with Shabbat and religious observance, leading to avoidable emotional harm with long‑term consequences.
• Example #2: Excessive Reprimanding for Minor Infractions: A parent insisted on reprimanding his young child for every minor halachic infraction, even when the child had not yet reached the age of chinuch for that matter. Small mistakes—such as forgetting a beracha or touching muktzeh absentmindedly—were met with stern rebuke. While the parent believed this would instill discipline and precision, the constant criticism caused the child to feel anxious and fearful around mitzvah observance. Over time, the child began to associate Judaism not with meaning or joy, but with pressure and failure, undermining the very goal of education.
• Example #3: Forcing Stringencies Beyond the Child’s Capacity Another parent required his child to observe stringencies that even many adults do not customarily follow, such as extended prayer durations or heightened standards of ritual precision. The child was forced to comply despite clear signs of fatigue and frustration. Although the parent viewed this as “raising the bar” in education, the child experienced the mitzvot as burdensome and overwhelming. Instead of preparing the child for future observance, this approach led to resistance and disengagement.
• Example: The Child Who Came to Hate Shul A dedicated father prided himself on raising his children with the highest standards of observance. Every Shabbos morning he required his seven-year-old son to sit beside him throughout the entire davening. If the child spoke, wandered, or became restless, he was sharply reprimanded. The child would often leave shul in tears and dread Shabbos mornings throughout the week.

Years later, the father proudly reflected that his son had learned how to sit through a complete service from a young age. Unfortunately, what the child remembered was not the davening but the tension, embarrassment, and criticism. The parent succeeded in teaching the mechanics of prayer, but failed to cultivate a love for prayer itself. This illustrates the principle that one can win the battle while losing the war. The goal of chinuch is not merely compliance, but fostering a lasting desire to serve Hashem.

• Example: The Extra Stringency A father adopted a personal stringency not to eat certain foods under a particular hechsher. Although most frum families in his community relied upon it without hesitation, he insisted that his ten-year-old son adhere to the same standard. Whenever the boy attended school functions or visited relatives he was made to feel that he was constantly doing something wrong. As the years progressed, the child developed frustration toward observance. In his eyes, Judaism consisted mainly of restrictions and exclusions. The issue was never the stringency itself. The question was whether imposing it upon a young child truly advanced the goal of chinuch or merely created resentment. Parents must constantly distinguish between educating a child in Torah obligations and burdening him with standards for which he is not yet ready.

 

The Rebbe – Education begins Before a Child Is Born[6]

See our corresponding Sefer “Lifecycles in Halacha Vol. 1: The Pregnancy and Borth” for the full details of this subject!

The Rebbe teaches that the education of a child begins long before the child enters a classroom. The preparation for raising a healthy child, both physically and spiritually, starts even before conception and continues throughout pregnancy. Parents should strive to ensure that the home is conducted with holiness, purity, and adherence to Torah values, thereby creating the strongest possible spiritual foundation for the child. In particular, the Rebbe places special emphasis on the mother’s unique role during this period, noting that the atmosphere of holiness and purity surrounding the child’s earliest development has a lasting impact on the child’s future growth and character.

Looking at holy images:[7] Throughout her pregnancy, a woman is to try to see holy images. She should visit the synagogues and halls of study and see and hear the Torah discussions of the Torah scholars and righteous men. These words of Torah will enter into her ears and sanctify the child that is within her, as the fetus hears and understands everything. So was done by the mother of Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Chanania when she was pregnant with him and for this reason she had a very holy child who was a great Torah scholar.[8]

Early Education Before Chinuch

 

Practice	Permitted Before Chinuch?	Purpose
Kippah	Yes	Habit formation
Netilas Yadayim	Yes	Holiness and routine
Berachos	Yes	Familiarization
Torah songs and pesukim	Yes	Spiritual development
Creating holy environment	Yes	Spiritual atmosphere
Looking at holy images	Yes	Spiritual influence

 

Cases Where Early Chinuch Is Improper

Example	Reason
Delaying food before Kiddush causing distress	Child suffering
Fasting before proper Yom Kippur age	Physical harm
Premature tefillin	Child incapable of proper care
Excessive stringencies	Creates resentment
Constant criticism	Emotional damage
Overburdening child	Counterproductive chinuch

 

3. Laws applicable if the child is below the age of Chinuch:[9]

Education in fulfillment of Mitzvos:[10] A child who has yet to reach the age of education, as will be defined in Halacha 4, is not required to be educated by his father, or any other individual, in fulfilling positive commandments. However, as will be explained there, this age of education is unique to each commandment. Hence, once the child has reached the level of understanding appropriate for a specific mitzvah, he becomes obligated to be educated in that specific Mitzvah, but is yet to be obligated to be educated in other Mitzvos for which he remains of immature age. [With that said, and as explained in Halacha 2, this does not mean that there is any restriction against educating a child in mitzvot prior to his reaching the formal age of education for a given commandment. On the contrary, there are many mitzvot in which it is customary and praiseworthy for a child to be educated from the youngest of ages, even before he has officially reached the age of chinuch. This early education serves to familiarize the child with the performance of mitzvot and to instill proper habits, as will be explained in the forthcoming chapters by each individual Mitzvah.]

Reprimanding – Educating in negative commands and Stopping the child from transgressing:[11] A child who has not yet reached the age of understanding—that is, a child who does not comprehend at all when he is told that a certain act is forbidden as will be explained in Halacha ??—is not subject to an obligation upon the father to forcibly[12] prevent him from transgressing, or even reprimand him for doing so. Accordingly, the father is not required to restrain the child from eating forbidden foods, desecrating Shabbos[13], or, if the child is a kohen, to remove him from a cemetery, even when such acts involve a biblical prohibition. [This applies even if the child is performing a transgression in public.[14]] This is because the child lacks any understanding of the matter from which he is being restrained, and thus such prevention does not constitute meaningful education. [However, there are a number of matters relating to prohibitions in which it is customary to be careful from the very day a child is born, not as an obligation of formal chinuch, but in order to ensure that the child is surrounded by an atmosphere of holiness. Thus, for example, many are careful not to play non‑Jewish music in the presence of an infant, nor to place images of non‑kosher animals before him, even from the moment of birth. Although the child is far below the age of chinuch, these practices are observed in order to cultivate a sanctified environment and to immerse the child in holiness from his earliest moments. Furthermore, as explained at length in Chapter One and as will be reiterated below, although one is not obligated to prevent a child from transgressing when the child is below the age of chinuch, it nevertheless remains a biblical prohibition to actively provide the child with the means to transgress or to instruct him to do so. Additionally, when a child transgresses on behalf of an adult, the age of the child is irrelevant, and one is obligated to protest and stop the child’s actions, as was explained in Chapter 1 and as will be reiterated below.]

Non-Kosher foods – Refraining a Child from Eating Forbidden Foods: Although one is not obligated to forcibly prevent a child from eating forbidden foods, one should nevertheless refrain the child from doing so whenever possible, irrelevant of the child’s age. This is because forbidden foods are understood to have a negative effect on a child’s nature, even when the child is a mere infant.[15] Accordingly, not only should the father endeavor to prevent the child from eating forbidden foods, but even other bystanders should do so when possible, despite not being obligated to do so according to the strict letter of the law.[16] [Even when a child requires food for medical reasons, every possible effort must be made to provide a kosher alternative. This is because consuming non-kosher food can nevertheless have a negative impact on the child’s character. This principle is evident from the ruling that even a pregnant[17] or nursing[18] mother who must eat non-kosher food for medical reasons should avoid doing so whenever possible, and if she does partake of non-kosher food, she should refrain from nursing the child.[19]]

Gentile – Must one stop a gentile from causing a child to sin:[20] If a child has not yet reached the age of chinuch—defined as being below the age of understanding, as will be explained in Halacha 5—the father is not obligated to prevent a gentile from feeding the child forbidden food, or prevent the gentile from causing the child to perform any other prohibition. Nevertheless, it remains forbidden to instruct or request the gentile to do so, as will be explained below. [Nevertheless, as explained previously, although there is no formal obligation to do so, one absolutely should prevent a child from eating non‑kosher food whenever possible, whether the child is eating on his own or is being fed by a gentile, and hence one should stop the gentile from doing so.[21] The same principle applies to other prohibitions that affect a child’s spiritual purity or modesty, from which the child should likewise be shielded to the extent possible.]

A child who is transgressing for the sake of another Jew:[22] If a child of any age transgresses in order to benefit an adult Jew who is already bar mitzvah, every Jew is rabbinically obligated to stop or reprimand the child. This duty applies regardless of the child’s age[23] and is not limited to the child’s parent or guardian. See Halacha 7F and 8D in length for the full details of this matter and as to cases of exception to this rule.

Assisting the child in transgressing:[24] Although we explained above that there is no obligation upon a father—or any other individual—to stop or reprimand a child who is below the age of chinuch from transgressing a prohibition, nonetheless it remains absolutely forbidden to actively cause any child to transgress. Thus, one may not instruct a child—even an infant—to violate any prohibition, whether biblical or rabbinic. Likewise, it is forbidden to feed a child any prohibited item, or even simply place the food in his hands, whether the prohibition is of biblical or rabbinic origin, and one may not assist or enable a child in the performance of any prohibited act. It is even forbidden to instruct a non-Jew to assist a child with the performance of a prohibition irrelevant of the child’s age. However, it should be noted that there are certain limited exceptions to this rule with regard to rabbinic prohibitions, as explained at length in Chapter One, Halacha 8; see there for the full details of this matter. Likewise, it is permitted to give a child an item with which he may desecrate Shabbat, provided that the item is not given with the intent that he perform a prohibited act. See Chapter 1 Halacha 8G for the full details of this matter.

 

💬 Example: The Curious Toddler

A two-year-old child wandered through a family gathering and reached for a non-kosher snack that had been brought by a non-observant relative. Technically, the child was far below the age of chinuch and could not possibly understand why the food was forbidden. Nevertheless, the parents gently removed the food and redirected the child to a kosher alternative. They did so not because they were formally obligated to educate the child in Kashrus at that age, but because a Jewish child should be accustomed from infancy to eating foods that are permitted. This example highlights the distinction between the formal obligation of chinuch and the general desire to raise a child in an environment of holiness.

 

Child Below Age of Chinuch

 

Case	Must Parent Stop Child?
Eating non-kosher on own	No formal obligation
Desecrating Shabbos	No
Entering cemetery (Kohen child)	No
Public transgression	No
Gentile feeding child non-kosher	No formal obligation
Child acting for adult Jew	Yes
Adult helping child sin	Forbidden

 

Non-Kosher Foods

 

Situation	Ruling
Child eating non-kosher	Prevent whenever possible
Infant	Prevent whenever possible
Bystanders observing	Appropriate to stop
Medical need	Seek kosher alternative first
Nursing mother eating non-kosher	Avoid when possible
Pregnant woman eating non-kosher	Avoid when possible

 

4. Laws applicable if the child is above the age of Chinuch:

Once a child has reached the age of chinuch, as will be explained in Halacha 5, it becomes obligatory upon the father to educate him or her in the observance of mitzvot. From that point onward, the father is likewise obligated to protest and prevent his son—or daughter—from transgressing prohibitions, as explained at length in Chapter One. This obligation applies specifically to the father of the child, and not to the mother or to other individuals. Nevertheless, as discussed extensively in Chapter One, there are circumstances in which others are also obligated, or at least encouraged, to protest a child’s transgression, as explained there. It is self‑evident that all prohibitions, restrictions, and limitations that apply even to a child below the age of chinuch—such as the prohibition against feeding a child a forbidden item or actively causing him to transgress—apply with even greater force once the child has reached the age of chinuch.

 

💬 Example: Turning on the Light

During a Shabbos meal, the dining room suddenly became dark. An adult jokingly remarked, “I wish somebody would turn on the light.” A six-year-old child immediately ran to the switch.

Several guests smiled and were prepared to let him do so. The child’s father stopped him at once. Although the child was young, and perhaps even below the full age of chinuch, once the act is being done for the benefit of adults, everyone present has an obligation to object.

This illustrates a common error. A child’s exemption from mitzvos may never be used as a means for an adult to benefit from a prohibition.

 

The Basic Ages of Chinuch

 

Child Status	Positive Mitzvos	Negative Mitzvos
Below age of chinuch	No obligation to educate	No obligation to stop or reprimand
Above age of chinuch	Father must educate	Father must stop and reprimand
Any age	Forbidden to actively cause transgression	Forbidden to feed prohibited items

 

5. When is a child considered to have reached the age of Chinuch:[25]

The age of chinuch differs between positive and negative commandments.

Positive commands:[26] The age at which a child becomes obligated in chinuch for positive commandments is not uniform, but rather depends on the individual child’s understanding and aptitude with respect to each particular mitzvah, whether biblical or rabbinic. For example, a child who understands the concept of Shabbos is obligated to be educated to hear Kiddush and Havdalah.[27] Likewise, if a child knows how to properly wrap himself in a Tallis[28], the father is obligated to educate him in the wearing of Tzitzis.[29] The same applies to all other commands. [Accordingly, the precise age at which a child is considered to have reached the age of Chinuch for each particular mitzvah will be specified throughout the forthcoming chapters. This means that the child must possess a basic level of understanding, enabling him to grasp the concept of a mitzvah in its simplest form, and not merely act as one who imitates behavior mechanically, like a monkey mimicking a person. For example, with Kiddush and Havdalah, from the moment the child could understand that the Shabbat is sanctified upon its entrance and departure then he is to be educated in the Mitzvah.[30] This level of understanding is usually never achieved before the age of five[31], and generally occurs around six[32] or seven years old[33], though in some cases it may be delayed until the age of eight[34] or nine[35], or even ten[36] or eleven[37], or 12[38].]

Negative commands:[39] With regard to negative commandments, once a child has reached the age of understanding—meaning that he comprehends when he is told that a certain act is forbidden[40]—the father is obligated to prevent him from transgressing, whether the prohibition is biblical or rabbinic. However, a child which has not yet reached the age of understanding, meaning that he does not understand at all[41] when he is told that something is forbidden to be done, then the father is not obligated to reprimand him or stop him from transgressing. [Thus, the distinction between the age of chinuch for positive and negative commandments is that with regard to a positive commandment, the age depends on the child’s understanding of that specific mitzvah, whereas with regard to a negative commandment, it depends on the child’s ability to understand the concept of prohibition—that is, the meaning of being told “no.” Some Poskim hold that this stage begins at ages four or five; however, in practice, parents should begin educating a child to refrain from transgressions starting around age three. If a child is particularly perceptive and demonstrates understanding even earlier, education should begin accordingly, even before age three. See the Q&A below for the full details of this subject!]

 

Summary: The age of education for a positive command is dependent on the child’s understanding of each particular Mitzva while by a negative command it depends on him understanding the meaning of “no”. Q&A Practically from what age is a child considered to understand that something is forbidden to be done?[42] Some Poskim[43] rule this begins from age four or five. Practically, one is to educate a child against transgressing prohibitions starting from the age of three.[44] If, however, one sees that the child is sharp and already understands prior to age three then he is to educate him even prior to age three.[45]

 

💬 Example: Two Brothers, Two Ages

Two brothers, both six years old, sat at the Shabbos table. One clearly understood that Kiddush marked the sanctity of Shabbos and eagerly listened each week. The other had little interest and viewed Kiddush merely as the signal that supper was about to begin. Although both children were the same age, the first may already have reached the age of chinuch for this mitzvah while the second may not yet have done so. The determining factor is not the birthday on the calendar but the child’s level of understanding. This demonstrates why the age of chinuch for positive commandments depends on the specific child and specific mitzvah.

 

💬 Example: Understanding ‘No’

A three-year-old repeatedly reaches toward an electrical outlet. After being told “No, that is dangerous,” he immediately withdraws his hand and understands that he is not permitted to touch it. Although he may try again another day, he already grasps the basic concept of prohibition. A younger sibling, however, continues reaching for the outlet moments later without any indication that the warning was understood. Such a child has not yet reached the level of comprehension necessary for chinuch regarding prohibitions. This example helps clarify what Chazal mean when they speak of a child understanding that something is forbidden.

 

The Basic Ages of Chinuch

 

Area	When Chinuch Begins	Definition
Positive mitzvos	Depends on each mitzvah	When the child understands that specific mitzvah
Negative prohibitions	When child understands “No” and “Forbidden”	Generally around age 3, sometimes earlier or later depending on maturity
Torah learning	When child begins to talk	Teach Torah Tzivah and Shema
Formal mitzvah obligation	Age 13 (boy), 12 (girl)	Bar/Bas Mitzvah

 

Age of Chinuch for Positive Mitzvos

 

Mitzvah	Chinuch Begins When
Kiddush	Understands Shabbos
Havdalah	Understands end of Shabbos
Tzitzis	Can wear properly
Sukkah	Understands dwelling in Sukkah
Shofar	Understands mitzvah
Lulav	Understands mitzvah
General rule	Depends on child’s understanding

 

Practical Ages Mentioned by Poskim

 

Age	Applications
3	Chinuch begins, understanding “no,” Upsherin
4-5	Some Poskim define prohibition-chinuch age
5	Earliest practical age for many mitzvos
6-7	Standard age of chinuch for many mitzvos
9-10	Yom Kippur fasting education
12	Bas Mitzvah
13	Bar Mitzvah

 

6. Until what age is a father obligated to educate his children?[46]

We find that in different areas of Torah and life, different maximum ages are defined for a father’s obligation of education. For example, regarding Torah learning, there is no maximum age at all: a father remains obligated to teach his son Torah even if the son is one hundred years old and the father is younger. However, regarding mitzvah observance, we do find a halachic milestone—bar mitzvah—after which a parent is no longer held legally responsible for the child’s actions. This does not mean that the obligation of education ends at that point; rather, it means that the responsibility for punishment or repercussions now rests on the child rather than the father. Certainly, a father must continue to educate his children even beyond bar mitzvah. With regard to middos tovos (good character traits) and yiras Shamayim (fear of Heaven), the Alter Rebbe explicitly rules that a father is obligated to educate his child until the age of twenty‑four, guiding him in moral conduct and reverence for G‑d. This clearly implies an obligation to educate one’s children in all matters of Torah, mitzvos, and proper character well beyond childhood.
What follows are the detailed laws pertaining to each of these areas.

 

1. The Mitzvah of Chinuch for Mitzvos and reprimanding for prohibition:[47]

A father is obligated in the rabbinic mitzvah of chinuch until his son reaches the age of thirteen and his daughter reaches the age of twelve, and they grow two pubic hairs, which is the age of bar or bas mitzvah. [It is for this reason that a father recites the blessing of Baruch Shepatrini after the child reaches the age of Bar Mitzvah.[48] It should be noted, however, that the lifting of the father’s obligation at age thirteen applies only to the rabbinic mitzvah of chinuch. However, once a child reaches bar mitzvah, the father—along with any other person—becomes obligated under the biblical mitzvah of tochachah to protest and reprimand the individual if he observes him transgressing, as this obligation applies from the moment a Jew becomes bound by mitzvot, as will be explained below in Halachah D.]

If no signs of puberty at this age:[49] If the child has reached this age but has not yet developed the physical signs of maturity—namely, the growth of two hairs—then the father’s obligation of chinuch continues until the age of twenty.

After age 20 – A Saris:[50] If, by age twenty, the child is determined to be a saris (i.e., a male or female with congenital hypogonadism who never reached sexual maturity and is infertile), the father is then exempt from the obligation of chinuch. This exemption applies only when both conditions are met: the child has reached age twenty and has developed signs of Saris. However, if by age twenty the child has not developed these signs and is hence not classified as a saris, the father remains obligated to educate him until the child reaches the majority of his years, [which is understood to be age thirty‑five years of age[51]]. From that point onward, the father is no longer obligated in the mitzvah of chinuch.

 

1. The Mitzvah of Torah study:

Until what age:[52] There is no maximum age in which a father becomes exempt from teaching Torah to his son, and so long as a son has not studied the entire Torah and has not received the skills to do so on his own, the father remains obligated to teach him Torah irrelevant of the age of the son.

 

1. Fear of Heaven and Good character traits[53]

Rabbinically, a father is required to guide his child in moral conduct and Yiras Shamayim until the child reaches twenty-four years old.[54]

 

1. The Mitzvah of Hocheiach Tochiach Es Amisecha:[55]

As stated above, a father’s obligation of chinuch applies only until bar mitzvah; once the child becomes personally obligated in mitzvot, that rabbinic duty ends. However, this does not mean that the father suddenly becomes absolved from any responsibility of his children’s actions. On the contrary, from that point on, the father (and mother, like all Jews) is obligated under the biblical mitzvah of tochachah to protest wrongdoing when appropriate. Thus, far from being exempt, parents—who observe their children’s behavior more closely than anyone else—are in fact among those most responsible and best positioned to fulfill this mitzvah. Thus, the Sages state that one who has the ability to protest the wrongdoing of members of his household and fails to do so is held responsible for their sins.[56] Nevertheless, in contrast to the Mitzvah of Chinuch, the mitzvah of tochachah applies only when the person being rebuked is halachically capable of responsibility and potentially receptive to correction. Where the individual will certainly not listen, the obligation to rebuke no longer applies, and one is not commanded to continue reprimanding him.[57]

 

Father must give constant supervision to children:[58] The father is to take constant supervision over the actions of his wife and children making sure that they are following the correct path of Torah and Mitzvos. One who is lax in doing so is called a sinner.

 

Until What Age Does a Father’s Obligation Continue?

 

Area	Ending Age
Mitzvah Chinuch	Bar/Bas Mitzvah
Torah Study	No maximum age
Middos & Yiras Shamayim	Until 24
Tochachah	Lifelong when applicable

 

After Bar Mitzvah

 

Before Bar Mitzvah	After Bar Mitzvah
Chinuch obligation	Tochachah obligation
Rabbinic	Biblical
Special parental obligation	General obligation upon all Jews
Child exempt from mitzvos	Child personally obligated

 

7. The best age of Chinuch – When a child is most susceptible to discipline:[59]

The most effective period for this education is between ages sixteen and twenty-four, as children are mature enough to accept guidance but not yet independent enough to resist it. Before sixteen, children lack the maturity for rebuke, and after twenty-four, there is a risk of rebellion. Proper instruction during this timeframe shapes lifelong behavior. [The statement that a child is not ready for tochacha (rebuke) before the age of sixteen may be understood as referring either to previous generations or to the particularly harsh forms of rebuke that were customary in earlier times. In contrast, in our generation—where rebuke is expressed in a far gentler and more constructive manner—the opposite approach applies. A parent is obligated to begin educating his children in good character traits and fear of Heaven from the very earliest ages, already from two or three years old, as taught by the Shlah HaKadosh.[60] At this young stage, the goal is to instill proper conduct as part of the child’s nature and to accustom the child to respectful awe of parental authority, for if a child is raised with excessive permissiveness and without discipline in his early years, he will ultimately fail to heed his parents’ guidance as he grows older.]

 

8. Significant ages of Chinuch:
9. Age Three:

See our corresponding Sefer “Lifecycles in Halacha Vol. 3: The Upsherinish and Hachansas Lecheder” for the full details of this subject!

The age of three years old is associated with Chinuch of a child, being that at three years of age, the child has reached a certain level of mental maturity that allows for his education to begin. Thus, we find that Avraham Avinu recognized Hashem at three years of age.[61] Likewise, the Midrash[62] states that from age three the father begins to educate his child in Torah. In Halacha[63] we find that a father a Biblically obligated to teach his young child Torah, as the verse states “Velimaditem Es Bneichem Lidaber Bam”, and when does this obligation begin, from when the child begins to talk. At that point, the father is to teach him the verse of Torah Tziva and the first verse of Shema Yisrael.

The G-dly soul begins to enter at the age of education and then begins the Kelipos: The Alter Rebbe states in Shulchan Aruch:[64] The G-dly soul only completely and mainly enters a person when he reaches the age of Bar or Bas Mitzvah, and it is for this reason that when they reach this age they become Biblically obligated to keep the commands, and are punished for transgression. Now, the beginning of the entrance of the G-dly soul into a child’s body is from the age that the Sages obligated the child to be educated in Torah and Mitzvos. Thus, once the child has reached the age of Chinuch, one must be careful to educate them to wash hands after awakening in the morning. However, before the age of Chinuch, since the G-dly soul has not even begun to enter their body, this impurity does not desire to seek nurture from their bodies upon them sleeping.

Upsherinish: An Upsherinish is the first haircut given to a boy and represents the child’s education in Torah and Mitzvos, as the haircut leaves the son with visible Peyos, which is the traditional appearance of a Jew.[65] This ceremony is alternatively called by the term “Chinuch Mitzvah.[66]” This haircut is given upon him reaching three years of age. The age-old Jewish custom is to have the boy grow out his hair until age three, and to be particular not to give him a haircut prior to this age.

The reason we cut the hair at age three: Based on all the above, we can offer a possible explanation for why we cut the hair at age three: Since at age three the child reaches an age of mental maturity which formally allows the start of his education, therefore, the G-dly soul begins entering the body of the child at age three. Once the G-dly soul begins to reside in the body, the Kelipos are now able to nurture from it. For this reason, we cut the child’s hair and cease the nurturing of Kelipos which is represented by the hair. We likewise cut the hair to banish future foreign lusts from the child already at a young age.

 

The significance of age three – A teaching from Likkutei Torah Parshas Kedoshim:

The age of three holds much significance in Jewish thought and literature. For example, it states that Avraham recognized his creator at age three. Likewise, a girl is not considered fit for intimacy and hence cannot be consecrated through intimacy until age three. The reason for this is because prior to age 3 a girl is not considered fit for unity. The mystical reason behind all this is as follows: The first three years of a person’s life correspond to the three completely unclean Kelipos, [during which one is not capable of truly giving up of himself for another, whether it be G-d or another person in marriage].

• The divine lesson: Any parent knows how frustrating it is to deal with a two-year-olds temper tantrum. Toddlers tend to be overly selfish, as is expressed in their over possessiveness of items that may not necessarily even be theirs, and their inability to share with others. It is literally often, “their way or the highway [i.e. mom driving away to escape the screams].” As much as we try to educate them to be kind and share it often falls on deaf ears. The above teaching sheds some light onto this behavior and can help parents manage dealing with their child during this stage of selfishness and self-centeredness. Prior to age 3, the divine energy that shines onto the child’s animal soul to enliven it comes from a level of Kelipa which is the epitome of ego and self-centeredness, and does not contain any space for another person to be invited inside. Therefore, the only thing that exists to the child prior to age three is what they want and desire. The wants and desires of other people is completely irrelevant to them. For this exact reason, they cannot marry. After reaching age 3, their level of nurture from Kelipa changes and they now begin to nurture from a level of evil that contains also good. Now is the main time to begin their education in acts of sharing and selflessness. How interesting is it that countless studies have found that by age 3 children begin to show genuine compassion and empathy.[67] We now have learned the reason behind it.

 

1. Age Six:

Tzitzis: A child is obligated to wear a Tallis Katan from the age of six and onwards.[68] Regarding children that have reached the age of Chinuch, which is from age six until the age of thirteen, one may be lenient to follow those opinions[69] that rule the minimum measurement of a Tallis is a total of one Ama in width and one Ama in length.[70]

Cheder – Talmud Torah:[71] In previous times, the son would not be brought to Cheder until he was six-seven years of age. He would be homeschooled by his father until this age. From when he can talk he would be taught verses of Torah by heart until age four. [Immediately[72]] after turning three, he would be taught the letters of the Alphabet.[73] At age four he would be taught how to read and he would continue to practice reading the written Torah until age 6-7, when he would be brought to the Milameid.[74] In today’s time’s, however, this system has changed, and the custom is for a son to be brought to Cheder at a much earlier age, as explained next.

 

1. Age 12/13 – Bar & Bas Mitzvah:

See Chapter 1 Halacha 1 and our corresponding Sefer “Lifecycles in Halacha Vol. 5: The Bar Mitzvah and Bas Mitzvah” for the full details of this subject!

 

1. Age Eighteen:

The suggested age for marriage: It is a Mitzvah upon every man to marry a woman at 18 years of age.[75] [The Rebbe strongly encouraged this approach.[76] Some Poskim[77] rule this means that one should get married as soon as he begins his 18th year, which is after turning 17 years of age.] One who precedes and marries at 13 years of age [has fulfilled] the Mitzvah Min Hamuvchar.[78] [However, in today’s times, one is not to get married this young.[79]]

 

1. Age twenty:[80]

The significance of age 20: Our sages teach us that a child is not able to perform real estate sales with his father’s assets until he reaches the age of 20 years old. What is significant about the age of 20 that specifically at that age one becomes mature enough to perform real estate sales? The explanation is that at the age of 20 a child receives the encompassing level of the soul of his father. This refers to the level of will that surpasses intellect. In the words of Kabbala this is known as Mochin Deaba. This refers to accessing a great reservoir of wisdom and in-depth comprehension that one does not have access to prior to this age. Prior to age 20, however one only contains Mochin Deima, and hence lacks intellectual maturity to understand things in greater breath and greater depth than the way they appear to the naked eye. This is why a child under age 20 may not sell his father’s assets, as he may make a rushed and spontaneous decision which although provides instant cash and gratification is possibly unproductive for his long-term investment goals. After reaching age 20, he attains the intellectual maturity to make more rational decisions based on an in-depth analysis of the long-term effects of his real estate sale. [Seemingly, it is also due to this reason that it is recorded[81] that children below the age of 20 have certain leniencies regarding punishment for transgression, as although they become responsible for Torah and Mitzvot once they reach the age of Bar Mitzvah, nonetheless, they still lack the full intellectual maturity in making rational decisions in serving God.]

• The divine lesson: One of the famous quotes of the American writer and humorist Mark Twain was “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” In shorter words, “until 20 years old my parents were total ignoramuses and in one day they learned so much.” Whether you are a parent or a teacher of adolescent children, it is not uncommon to hear the teen make factually incorrect statements which they believe are absolutely true and continue to argue with you when corrected. The distance between their actual knowledge and their oversized confidence is often astronomical, or as one person once put it that if they jumped from their ego to their knowledge it could be suicidal. On one occasion, I witnessed a 13-year-old yeshiva student arguing with a seasoned Dayan five times his age who deals with Gittin over a certain halachic matter in the realm of divorce, and only after a half-hour of back-and-forth did the child finally agree to his mistake. On another occasion, an adolescent remained steadfast that the city of Berlin was the capital of Spain despite being told by the adults that were near him that it is not. He argued against them until he was actually shown it in three separate maps! All of this can prove very frustrating for teachers and parents, who feels slighted at the youngsters brushing away their knowledge, and at the impudence that they have in thinking they know better than adults. The above teaching of the Alter Rebbe can help the parent or teacher lessen the negative feelings that he may have towards the stubborn teenager who thinks he knows everything. Prior to age 20, a child does not have fully independent intellectual capabilities. Meaning, he can’t think out-of-the-box, or foresee into the depths of matters. If he thinks that he once heard that Berlin is the capital of Spain then so it is. He is very assured of his conscious knowledge as he does not yet have access to the subconscious knowledge known as Mochin Deaba, which helps him understand that logic and intellect can go beyond what he personally understands to be true. The age of 20 gives one an intellectual maturity to be more open-minded to other people’s opinions, advice, and the long-term effect of a given decision. With age, the teenager will grow out of it eventually and lessen the grip on his view on the facts of life in the face of the opinion of others. Interesting, the fact that adolescence and the teenage years ends at age 20 fits right into the above teaching of the Alter Rebbe who has now given us the inner reason behind it. Nonetheless, it is also true that parents should find a beneficial way in correcting the child and teaching him the concept of open-mindedness to the opinion others, and eventually this message will ring home after 20 years old.

Liability for sins:[82] Once one has reached the age of Bar/Bas Mitzvah they are held liable for their actions and to receive punishment. Nonetheless, certain leniencies regarding punishment are recorded, as explained. The Talmud[83] relates that in the future, our forefathers will argue with God on the virtues of the Jewish people with saying that most of our life we do not sin, and in the calculation of proving this statement it states that those under age 20 are not held liable for punishment. Rashi there explains that this is derived from the fact that in the 40 year stay in the desert God did not punish those who were under age 20 to die while in the desert. Nonetheless, the Poskim explain that this is not to be understood literally, as certainly once a child has become bar/bas mitzvah he becomes liable for all mitzvah’s of the Torah. The following explanations have been given:

• Some explain that the intent of the above statement is that they are not liable for punishment in the Beis Din of heaven until the age of 20. However, they are liable for punishment in the Beis Din on earth starting from Bar and Bas Mitzvah.[84]
• Others explain to the contrary, that it simply means that he is not punished by a physical Beis Din until age 20 but is punished by God even prior to age 20.[85]
• Others explain that it means that although prior to age 20 one does not receive punishments in the hand of heaven for his sins, nonetheless after death he receives punishment for sins committed even prior to age 20.[86]
• Others explain that it means that although prior to age 20 one does not receive punishments in the hand of heaven for his sins, nonetheless after age 20 he receives punishment for sins committed even prior to age 20. Likewise, even prior to age 20 the soul is judged in heaven for his sins if he passes away prior to age 20, and he is punished for such sins.[87]
• Some explain that the intent of the above statement is that they are not liable for the transgressions performed during the 40 year stay in the desert and only in regards to the special commands given them. Likewise, the above Talmudic statement is part of the allegorical parts of Torah and is not Halacha.[88]
• Others explain that prior to age 20 he is punished for all sins which are explicit in the Torah and is only exempt from punishment for those sins that are learned from logic.[89]
• Others explain that he is only exempt from the punishment of Kareis, although is held liable for all other punishments of transgressing positive or negative commands.[90]

 

1. Age 40:

The age of 40 contains unique significance in both Halachic literature and Chazal, as we will list below.

Ben Arbaim Lebina-Age of Binah-Understanding: At the age of 40 one reaches the age of understanding.[91] This means that he is now able to understand the depth of teachings of Torah, and to novelize many new laws and interpretations of verses.[92] This is because at this age a person reaches mental and intellectual maturity.[93]

Morei Horah according to all opinions:[94] The Talmud[95] states that at age 40 one reaches the age of Horah, in which he can Pasken. Now, it is debated amongst the Rishonim and Poskim as to the intent of this Talmudic statement. Some Poskim[96] understand it to mean that one may not Pasken until age 40. Other Poskim[97] understand it as discussing one who is able to Pasken but refuses to do so, that until age 40 he may avoid Paskening, although may Pasken if he so chooses, and past age 40 he may not refuse to Pasken. Practically, the Sephardim[98] all rule like the latter approach, and hence there is no issue for a qualified Sephardi Posek to Pasken even prior to age 40. However, the Ashkenazim[99] took the former approach and ruled that one should not Pasken until age 40. Nonetheless, even according to this approach there are various leniencies suggested, and practically the widespread custom of even Ashkenazim is to permit Paskening prior to age 40 despite the ruling of the Rama.[100] Nonetheless, some community guidelines require that an elected Rav be at least 40 years old to be eligible, in light of the above original Talmudic statement and ruling of Rama.

Learning Kabbalah:[101] [In previous times,] there was a limitation against studying certain Kabbalistic works until age 40. From age 40 and onwards this became permitted.

Publishing Sefarim:[102] In previous times, there were communities which made institution that one may not publish any Sefer in Halacha or Gemara until age 40.

Drinking versus eating:[103] Until age 40 eating is more beneficial for the body than drinking. From age 40, drinking is more beneficial for the body than eating.

Gezeiras Hamashkeh:[104] The known “Gezeira” of the Rebbe to not drink more than a Revius of Mashkeh [alcohol] applies only until age 40. Although even after age 40 they must diminish in their drinking.

Significance of the number 40 in Halacha and Chazal:[105] The sages[106] state that one does not reach an age of understanding of his teacher until age 40. Likewise, the sages[107] state that for 40 days before a child is born they declare in heaven as to whom he will be married to. Likewise, we find that the minimum measurement for a Mikveh is 40 Seah.[108] According to some opinions[109], Avraham recognized his creator at age 40.

 

1. Age 60:[110]

It is an old tradition to celebrate the 60th birthday with a special party and Siyum Misechta.[111] The celebration is held in commemoration of the fact that one has passed the age of 60 and not received Kareis.

 

Important Ages in Childhood Development

 

Age	Significance
Birth	Holy environment begins
Before birth	Rebbe’s emphasis on prenatal chinuch
3	Upsherin, peyos, beginning formal chinuch
6	Cheder and classical mitzvah chinuch
12	Bas Mitzvah
13	Bar Mitzvah

 

Significant Ages Mentioned in the Chapter

 

Age	Significance
3	Chinuch, Upsherinish
6	Tzitzis, Cheder
13	Bar Mitzvah
18	Recommended marriage age
20	Intellectual maturity, Mochin D’Abba
24	End of obligation for Yiras Shamayim and Middos
40	Binah, Hora’ah, understanding
60	Traditional celebration and Siyum

 

9. Exemptions to the Obligation of Chinuch due to illness and burdensomeness of child[112]

There are a number of special circumstances in which a child, even after having reached the age of chinuch, is nevertheless exempt from being educated to fulfill a mitzvah in the normal manner. The following are common examples:

A child who is ill:[113] A child who is sick, or whose health may be compromised by performing a mitzvah, is exempt from chinuch in that mitzvah for the duration of the illness. Even though an adult who is merely uncomfortable would still be obligated, a child is not required to be educated in a way that may harm or endanger his health. Accordingly, a child who is very cold, weak, or likely to become ill is not required to sleep in the Sukkah. Likewise, a child is not educated to fast on Yom Kippur before the appropriate age, since fasting is not befitting for his physical well‑being. We find the halachic basis for this leniency in several areas, including the exemption of a child from sleeping in the Sukkah when it may cause illness and the exemption from fasting on Yom Kippur. Additionally, some Poskim rule that it is permitted for a child to transgress a rabbinic prohibition for his own legitimate need. Based on this principle, it is permitted for a child to eat kitniyot on Pesach if he is ill, even when the illness is not life‑threatening, as explained in another chapter.

A child who is sleeping:[114] A child who is asleep does not need to be awakened in order to fulfill mitzvot. For example, if a child has fallen asleep and did not daven, count the Omer, recite Birkat HaMazon, or say Keriat Shema, there is no requirement to wake him for the sake of chinuch.

Mitzvot that are overly burdensome:[115] Mitzvot that are excessively difficult or burdensome for a child are not included in the obligation of chinuch. Accordingly, a child is not required to fulfill mitzvot such as oneg Shabbat in the same manner as adults—for example, forcing him to eat fish, meat, or other delicacies. Likewise, there is no requirement to be particular that a child eat three full Shabbat meals in the adult sense, or quantities of food beyond what is reasonable for him.

Mitzvot Requiring Extended Concentration:[116] Likewise, included among the exemptions discussed above are mitzvot that require prolonged concentration, sustained focus, and present an excessive burden for a child. A child is therefore not obligated through chinuch to fulfill mitzvot that demand an adult level of attentiveness and consistency. Examples include praying all three daily prayers in their entirety like an adult; davening regularly with a minyan and listening attentively to the entire repetition of the Chazzan; reading Shanyim Mikra Viechad Targum; completing the full Megillah reading on Purim without missing even a single word or letter; and similar obligations that require intense focus over extended periods. Such practices are generally considered overly burdensome for a child, even one above the age of twelve. Accordingly, it is not customary to obligate children fully in these mitzvot upon reaching the age of chinuch. Rather, they are educated gradually, according to their capacity and maturity, as they approach the age of bar mitzvah, at which point full obligation takes effect.

 

💬 Example: The Twelve-Year-Old Chazan Listener

A father insisted that his twelve-year-old son stand motionless and listen attentively to every word of the Chazaras HaShatz three times daily. When the child lost concentration, the father interpreted it as laziness and a lack of yiras Shamayim. In truth, sustained concentration for such lengthy periods may be difficult even for many adults. Chinuch requires teaching a child to grow in mitzvah observance gradually and successfully, not imposing adult expectations before the child is ready.

 

 

Significant Ages Mentioned in the Chapter

 

Situation	Exemption
Illness	Exempt
Risk of illness	Exempt
Sleeping child	No need to awaken
Excessively burdensome mitzvah	Exempt
Advanced concentration requirement	Exempt or partial chinuch
Physical suffering	Exempt

 

 

Mitzvos Commonly Considered Too Burdensome for Full Chinuch

 

Mitzvah	Standard Practice
Full adult davening	Gradual education
Listening to entire Chazaras Hashatz	Gradual education
Shnayim Mikra	Gradual education
Megillah without missing a word	Gradual education
Three full Shabbos meals like an adult	Not required
Advanced oneg-Shabbos standards	Not required

 

[1] See Admur 343:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1; 7; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Chinuch Volume 16 p. 167; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 5

[2] See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 11:9-14

[3] See Ran Yuma 82a that one may do early education for all Mitzvos except fasting on Yom Kippur; Talmidei Rabbeinu Yonah Brachos 20 a regarding Shema; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 100

[4] See Shelah Shaar Haosiyos Derech Eretz; Encyclopedia Talmudit footnote 102; Chapter 3 Halacha 1

[5] See Admur 269:3; 343:7; 616:5; Michaber 616:1; M”A 269:1; Yuma 78b; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7

[6] Sichos Kodesh 5729 p. 161; Hisvadyus 5744 2:1319; 3:1705; Shaareiy Chinuch p. 127-129, 139-140

[7] Shevet Hamussar 24; Toras Menachem 5750 3:179 “it is known the custom of women while they are pregnant to be very careful not to see impure items but rather only pure and holy items”; Likkutei Sichos 25:309; Shevach Habris 1:1; See Sichos Kodesh 5737 Sicha 7

[8] See Yerushalmi Yevamos 1:6; Rashi and Rav Ovadia Bartenura on Avos 2:8

[9] See Admur 343:2-3; Mishneh Berura 343:3

[10] Admur 343:2 “He is obligated by rabbinic decree to educate his son or daughter even in positive commandments once they reach the age of education.”

[11] Admur 343:3 “But a child who has no understanding at all: his father is not obligated to forcibly prevent him from eating forbidden foods or from desecrating Shabbat, even when the prohibition is from the Torah, since the child does not understand the concept of what he is being prevented from or separated from. Likewise, if he is a kohen, there is no obligation to remove him from a house that contains ritual impurity, unless he is a child who has understanding, in which case his father is obligated to remove him.”; Admur 616:2-4 “However, if the minor puts them on himself, whether one is required to protest is explained in סימן שמ״ג—see there. All of this applies to a minor who has not yet reached the age of education for the mitzvah of affliction.; M”A 343:2; Issur Viheter Shaar 48:8; Tosefes Shabbos 343:2; M”B 343:3; Kaf Hachaim 343:11; See Tosafus Erechin 3a; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 3; Piskeiy Teshvuos 343:2 and 12

Other opinions: Although from the Rama it can be understood that a father is obligated to refrain a child from transgressing even if the child is below the age of education [See Rama 343:1 “All this refers to a child who is below the age of Chinuch”], nevertheless from the Achronim [Admur ibid, Magen Avraham ibid, Mishneh Berura ibid] it is understood that this is an incorrect reading of the Rama, who refers simply to the exemption of others from reprimanding the child. However it seems from the Shach Yoreh Deah 81:26 that he learns that the father must stop his child from transgressing Biblical commands even if he is below the age of education, as the case there is referring to nursing a baby forbidden milk, and a nursing child is usually below the age of education. Vetzaruch Iyun!

[12] However, one should try to refrain him from eating forbidden foods as will be explained next. [Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:9]

[13] Admur ibid; Poskim ibid; Beir Moshe 6:20; Mishneh Halachos 3:49; 7:36; Sheilas Shaul 32; Shevet Halevi 7:104; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 footnote 32 and 61

Other Opinions – Shabbos Melachah Performed by a Child Below the Age of Chinuch: The above Poskim all rule that a child who is below the age of chinuch does not require protest if he performs a melachah on Shabbos, as is the general principle by all prohibitions performed by a child who lacks mental maturity. However, some Poskim rule that Shabbat melachah is an exception to this general principle. According to this view, parents are biblically obligated to prevent their children from performing melachah on Shabbat even if the child has not yet reached the age of understanding or education. The reason given is that the Torah explicitly commands that one’s children rest on Shabbat, as stated in the verse: “You shall not do any work—you, your son, or your daughter.” Under this approach, young children are likened to one’s animals, which are likewise commanded to rest on Shabbat, and therefore parents bear a direct obligation to ensure that their children refrain from labor on Shabbat regardless of age. [Mishkanos Yaakov O.C. 118]

[14] See Mateh Efraim 589:5 Alef Lamagen 6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 footnote 30

[15] Rama Yoreh Deah 81:7 regarding an infant eating milk from a gentile, as explained in Shach 81:26; M”A 343:2; Tosefes Shabbos 343:2; Kaf Hachaim 343:11; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 4; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:9; See Pri Chadash (Yoreh De’ah, siman 81, se’if katan 26) who already protested and cried out sharply about this matter, stating as follows: Since in our times people are not careful with these matters of forbidden foods, most children go astray, and most of the insolent individuals of our generation lack any fear of Heaven that penetrates their hearts. Even when they are rebuked directly, they are not receptive to moral instruction. And who is greater for us than Elisha ben Avuyah? For he did not come to that path because of any later deed of his own, but rather because his mother, who was pregnant with him, passed by a place where food was being cooked for idolatry. She smelled it and felt a need to eat from it, and that substance permeated him like the venom of a snake.”

Time‑Dependent Prohibitions: The Achronim have discussed whether this negative effect applies also to permitted foods that become prohibited due to time-related restrictions, such as chametz on Passover, eating on Yom Kippur, and eating matzah on the day before Passover. [See Darkei Teshuvah 81:90; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 4] From the words of the Gemara in Yoma (82b), which discusses a pregnant woman who smelled food on Yom Kippur, it is evident that this category is also included. [Arugas Habosem O.C. 138] Nevertheless, it is certainly forbidden to be stringent in a situation involving even a possible danger to life, and the ruling must be determined according to the judgment of the halachic authority in each case. However, allowing a minor to eat before kiddush or havdalah is clearly more lenient according to all opinions, since this prohibition is merely a rabbinic safeguard enacted out of respect for the sanctity of the day. [Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:9]

[16] Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 4

[17] Darkei Moshe O.C. 617:1 “One must be careful that a pregnant woman guard herself as much as possible that she does not eat pork and non-kosher meats as this will cause that her child will be God fearing”; Or Zarua 279; Yerushalmi Chagiga 9b regarding the mother of Acher that she had once eaten a non-Kosher food during her pregnancy due to having smelled it and lusted after it, and this is what caused her son to become a heretic; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:1; Shevach Habris 1:24; Nitei Gavriel 3 56:5

[18] Rama Y.D. 81:7; Taz Y.D. 81:12; Shach Y.D. 81:24; Arugas Habosem O.C. 138; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 142:1; 147:2;

[19] Shach Y.D. 81:24; P”M 81 M”Z 12; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 147:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:9

[20] Admur 343:5 “If a gentile feeds a prohibited item to a child who is not yet capable of understanding, the child’s father is not required to protest.”; M”A 343:3; Rabbeinu Yerucham Nesiv 1 in name of Rameh; See Elya Raba 343:3; Kaf Hachaim 343:15; Piskeiy Teshvuos 343:12

[21] Elya Raba ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid

[22] Admur 334:26 “Even if he has not reached the age of Chinuch”; Bach 334; Tosafus Shabbos 121a

[23] Admur 334:26 “Even if he has not reached the age of Chinuch”; Bach 334 “This child is prior to the age of Chinuch , such as a four or five year old and we are not certain as to whether this Katan is performing the action on behalf of his father”; Tosafus Shabbos 121a

A child below the age of comprehension: This obligation applies only to a child who has reached a level of mental maturity such that he is capable of acting on behalf of others. In such a case, when it is determined that the child performed the act for the benefit of an adult, there is an obligation to protest his actions even if he is officially below the age of Chinuch. However, if the child is so young that he lacks the comprehension to act on behalf of others, then even if it appears outwardly that he is doing so, there is no obligation to object. Thus, for example, if a two‑year‑old plays with a light and turns it on or off—even if the adults had been discussing whether they wanted the light on or off—there is no requirement to protest. Since a child of that age does not possess sufficient understanding to perform actions on behalf of others, his conduct is not treated as such. [See Michaber 334:25; Rishonim on Shabbos 121a; Chikrei lev 63; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:5 footnote 74]

[24] Admur 343:5 and 266:10; M”A 343:2; Kaf Hachaim 343:19; Likkutei Sichos Vol. 7 Sicha 1; See Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 509; See M”B  343 Shaareiy Tziyon 6

[25] Admur 343:3 “The obligation of educating a child in positive commandments applies to each child according to his sharpness and understanding, with each matter according to its nature. For example: a child who understands the concept of Shabbat is obligated to hear Kiddush and Havdalah; a child who knows how to wrap himself properly is obligated in tzitzit, as explained in Siman 17; and likewise with all similar cases. This applies both to positive commandments from the Torah and to those enacted by the Sages. However, education regarding prohibitions—whether Torah prohibitions or rabbinic ones—applies to any child who has sufficient understanding to comprehend when one tells him that something is forbidden to do or to eat. But a child who has no understanding at all: his father is not obligated to prevent him…..”; M”B 343: 3; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7; Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Chinuch Volume 16 p. 167 footnotes 85-99; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 5:1-13

[26] Admur ibid; M”A 343:3; Tosafus Erechin 2b; Tosefes Shabbos 343:3; M”B 343:3 that so write all the Poskim; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 93-94; See Admur Basra 2:6 and Kama 2:7 regarding a Kippa; 37:3 regarding tefillin; 70:2 regarding shema; 106:3 regarding Tefila; 124:10 regarding Amen; 128:49 regarding Nesias Kapayim; 186:3 and 187:4 regarding Birchas Hamazon; 199:9 regarding Zimun; 472:25 regarding four cups and story of exodus; 616:5 regarding Yom Kippur fast; 640:3 regarding Sukkah; Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:1 regarding Torah study

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that unless stated explicitly otherwise, the age at which one begins education (chinuch) for a mitzvah follows the same age as that of the Mitzvah of affliction on Yom Kippur, which is around nine or ten years old, depending on his sharpness. [Rashi Brachos 15a; Megillah 19b; Erechin 2b; Rashba Brachos 48a; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 84-88] However, for matters whose understanding is easy and common, they said that one educates him even earlier, once he has attained awareness of that matter. [Meiri Chagiga 2b; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 89] Other Poskim write that the general age is eleven [Rabbeinu Chananel Megillah 19b; Rosh Hashanah 33b for Tekias Shofar “10 or 11”] or twelve [Or Zarua 2:43]. However, all the above Poskim disagree and maintain that these age measures were stated only with regard to training for fasting, but for other mitzvot each child is assessed individually according to his development and according to the nature of the mitzvah.

[27] Admur ibid; M”A ibid; See Admur 271:1; Terumas Hadeshen 94; Elya Raba 343:3; Tosefes Shabbos 343:3; Kaf Hachaim 343:17

What about other Shabbos commands? It would seem that the Admur specifically emphasizes Kiddush and Havdalah because he is referring to a child who has already grasped the basic concept of a sacred day called Shabbos. Once a child has reached that level of awareness, he is immediately capable—on an educational level—of understanding Kiddush and Havdalah, which express the sanctification of Shabbat and its distinction from the other days of the week. However, with regard to other Shabbos commandments, it is not necessarily the case that the child has yet reached the requisite level of understanding or readiness for education in those specific matters, as each mitzvah requires its own degree of comprehension and developmental maturity.

[28] This refers to wearing the Tallis with two corners facing the front and another two facing the back and the child knows how to hold the tzitzis by Kerias Shema. [See Admur 17:4]

[29] Admur ibid; M”A ibid; Sukkah 32a

This refers either to purchasing a pair of tzitzit for the child, or at the very least, to ensuring that the child is not permitted to wear a four‑cornered garment without tzitzit attached. [See Admur 17:4]

[30] See Tosafus and other Rishonim on Sukkah 28b

[31] See M”B 269:1; Chok Yaakov 472:27 regarding 4 Kosos; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 97; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 90; SSH”K 58:19

So rule regarding Sukkah for a sharp child that Chinuch applies from age five: Admur 640:3; Michaber 640:2 “5 or 6 years old”; Tur ibid “6 and 7 years old; Rambam Sukkah 6:1; Eiruvin 82b; Taz 640:2; M”A 640:2; P”M Pesicha Koleles 2:9; M”B 640:4; See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1 Kuntrus Achron 1

So rule regarding Sukkah for every child that Chinuch applies from age five: Some Poskim rule that a child is obligated to dwell in a Sukkah starting from five years of age if his father is in the city, and even if the child is not sharp and advanced. [Bach 640:1; Elya Raba 640:3; Bikureiy Yaakov 640:4; Beis Meir; Opinion in M”B 640:4; See Tur ibid; Kaf Hachaim 640:9; Omitted form Admur ibid]

Below age five: In no source by any Mitzvah do we find that this age is calculated as earlier than five years old. However, some Rishonim imply from their words that one is obligated to educate a child in every mitzvah whenever it is possible and appropriate to do so, even below the age of five. [See Ritva and Ran Sukkah 28b; P”M Pesicha Koleles 2:10; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 98-99]

[32] See M”B 269:1; Migdal Oz Taaleh Gimel of Yaavetz regarding all Mitzvos; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 90; SSH”K 58:19; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 96; Rabbeinu Manoach Shofar 2:7 writes 6-7 years of age; P”M 106 A”A 3 regarding Shema and Tefila

So rule regarding Sukkah for a regular child that Chinuch applies from age six: Admur 640:3; Michaber 640:2 “5 or 6 years old”; Tur ibid “6 and 7 years old; Rambam Sukkah 6:1; Eiruvin 82b; Taz 640:2; M”A 640:2; M”B 640:4; See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1 Kuntrus Achron 1

So rule regarding Tzitzis that Chinuch applies from age six: Siddur Admur “Children that have reached the age of Chinuch which is from age 6 and onwards…”; Bach 199 regarding Tzitzis writes 6-7 years of age; Lev Chaim 101; Ben Ish Chaiy Lech Lecha 14; Kaf Hachaim 17:10; See chapter 1 Halacha 12C!

[33] M”B 269:1 [With regard to most mitzvot the age of six or seven is considered the standard age of chinuch, as stated in the Mishnah Berurah (Siman 269, se’if katan 1), and in additional sources] Rabbeinu Manoach Shofar 2:7 writes 6-7 years of age; P”M 106 A”A 3 regarding Shema and Tefila; Riy Melunil Rosh Hashanah 33b regarding Shofar writes 7-8 years old; Beis Yosef O.C. 199 in name of Rambam Brachos 5:7 regarding Birchas Hamazon; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 96

[34] Riy Melunil ibid; Beis Yosef ibid

[35] Admur 16:1 regarding Tzitzis; Admur 616:5-6, Michaber and Rama 6161:2, Mishneh Yuma 82a regarding fasting on Yom Kippur; Rashi Brachos 15a; Megillah 19b; Erechin 2b; Rashba Brachos 48a; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 84-88

Ruling of Admur in Shulchan Aruch and other Poskim regarding Tzitzis: In 16:1 Admur rules that a child is considered to reach the age of Chinuch for Tzitzis from the age of 9. This follows the ruling of the M”A 16:1

[36] Regarding Taanis Shaos for a weak child on Yom Kippur: Admur 616:5-6; Michaber and Rama 6161:2; Mishneh Yuma 82a; Rashi Brachos 15a; Megillah 19b; Erechin 2b; Rashba Brachos 48a; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 84-88; Rabbeinu Chananel Rosh Hashanah 33b for Tekias Shofar “10 or 11”

Above age nine: We do not find that this age is ever pushed off beyond nine years old, with the exception of tefillin, since a minor does not know how to maintain a clean body—specifically, to refrain from passing gas while wearing them and to avoid distraction from them. [See Kaf Hachaim 37:14] And to fasting on Yom Kippur. [Beginning from the age of nine for a healthy child, and ten for a weak child, both boys and girls are to be educated to fast on Yom Kippur, through having their meals delayed from their set time. Admur 616:5-6; Michaber and Rama 6161:2; Mishneh Yuma 82a] Indeed, some Poskim rule based on this that ages 9-10 are the general ages of Chinuch. [Rashi Brachos 15a; Megillah 19b; Erechin 2b; Rashba Brachos 48a; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 84-88]

[37] Rabbeinu Chananel Megillah 19b; Rosh Hashanah 33b for Tekias Shofar “10 or 11”

[38] Or Zarua 2:43

[39] Admur 343:3 “However, education regarding prohibitions—whether Torah prohibitions or rabbinic ones—applies to any child who has sufficient understanding to comprehend when one tells him that something is forbidden to do or to eat But a child who has no understanding at all: his father is not obligated to prevent him…”; M”A 343:2; Chayeh Adam 66:2; M”B 343:3; Issur Viheter Shaar 48:8; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; See Tosafus Erechin 3a; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 3; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 5:14-23

[40] Must the child reach the Stage at Which he Will Not Repeat the Behavior to be reprimanded: Some Poskim rule that it is not sufficient that a child merely have the basic understanding that when one scolds him or tells him “no” or “it is forbidden,” he refrains at that moment and does not act accordingly—something that is already found even in a one‑year‑old infant. Rather, what is required is that the child internalize the lesson to the extent that even on another occasion, without being warned again, he remembers it and refrains from acting, whether out of fear, embarrassment, maturity, or any other reason. [Chikrei Lev 61; Az Nidbaru 6:57; Chut Shani 95:12; Chidushim Ubiurim O.C. 18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7] Generally, this level of internal understanding develops at approximately three years of age, and sometimes it is delayed until around the age of four. However, Tzaruch Iyun from Admur who writes the word “does not understand at all at all” which can imply that once a child has begun to grasp the concept of being told “no,” he is already to be prevented from transgressing even if he will repeat it in the future.

[41] Tzaruch Iyun as to the intent of Admur in writing the word “at all” and as to what it is coming to teach us? It is possible that his intent is to teach that once a child has begun to grasp the concept of being told “no,” he is already to be prevented from transgressing. Nevertheless, this matter requires further analysis (vetzaruch iyun).

[42] Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 7 footnote 87

[43] Yaavetz in Migdal Oz 3:5; Bach 334:12 “This child is prior to the age of Chinuch, such as a four or five year old”; Nitei Gavriel Yom Tov 1:5

[44] Az Nidbaru 6:57; Bris Olam Dinei Amirah Lenachri 22:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 7

[45] Bris Olam ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7

[46] See Hilchos Talmud Torah Chapter 1 Halacha 6 “And likewise, the father must guide him in the path of moral conduct and fear of Heaven in all his ways and behaviors, while his authority over his son remains firm—that is, until the son reaches the age of twenty‑four years. As it is stated: ‘Train a child according to his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6). This training refers to the formative path that will shape his conduct throughout his life. Such education is to be carried out during his youth, specifically from the age of sixteen until the age of twenty‑four, for before the age of sixteen a child lacks sufficient maturity to fully accept rebuke. Excessive discipline and admonition should not be imposed too early, and beyond the age of twenty‑four there is concern that the son may rebel.”; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; Encyclopedia Talmudit p. 169 footnotes 105-114; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 6:1-6

[47] 1^st Pirush in M”A 225:5; Beis Yosef and Bach on O.C. 167 and 297; P”M 343 A”A 1; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnote 105; See Nazir 29b and Rosh there; Levush 225; Shaareiy Efraim 4:26; Ketzos Hashulchan ibid footnote 13 in length; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1 footnote 14; Nitei Gavriel 12:7

[48] 1^st Pirush in M”A 225:5; P”M 225 A”A 5; M”B 225:7; See Rama 225:2; Midrash Raba Toldos 63; Maharil Hilchos Kerias Hatorah, in name of Mordechai; See Ben Ish Chai Reih 1:17; Ketzos Hashulchan 65:6; Encyclopedia Talmudit footnote 108; Piskeiy Teshuvos 225:4-6; Siddur Raskin footnote 87; Nitei Gavriel Chapter 12; Omitted from Rambam, Tur, Michaber, see Mishneh Torah Kapach Mada p. 629 footnote 7 that for this reason Yemenite Jewry is not accustomed to say it

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the reason behind why this blessing is said is because until this point the son would receive punishment due to the sins of the father. Hence, he recites a blessing that from now onwards the punishment for his sins will no longer be meted out to his son. [Levush ibid, brought as 2^nd Pirush in M”A ibid]

[49] See P”M 343 A”A 1; P”M 37 A”A 4; Biur Halacha 37; Rashi Avos 5:21; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 169

[50] P”M 343 A”A 1; Kaf Hachaim 343:18

[51] P”M 343 A”A 1; Kaf Hachaim 343:18

[52] Setimas Kol Haposkim who never mention a maximum age; See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:6 that one is to pay for his learning even after the son is married with children; Halacha 1:8 That there is a positive command to teach all the Talmidim, irrelevant of age.

[53] Hilchos Talmud Torah Chapter 1 Halacha 6 “And likewise, the father must guide him in the path of moral conduct and fear of Heaven in all his ways and behaviors, while his authority over his son remains firm—that is, until the son reaches the age of twenty‑four years. As it is stated: ‘Train a child according to his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6). This training refers to the formative path that will shape his conduct throughout his life. Such education is to be carried out during his youth, specifically from the age of sixteen until the age of twenty‑four, for before the age of sixteen a child lacks sufficient maturity to fully accept rebuke. Excessive discipline and admonition should not be imposed too early, and beyond the age of twenty‑four there is concern that the son may rebel.”; Kiddushin 30a; Ketzos Hashulchan 65 footnote 13; 147 footnote 1; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 169; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1 footnote 15

[54] The reason: A father’s obligation to guide his son in moral conduct and fear of Heaven continues until age twenty‑four because these years are the critical period for shaping lifelong character. Before age sixteen, a child lacks the maturity to fully absorb rebuke, while after twenty‑four there is a risk that excessive admonition may lead to resistance or rebellion. The Torah emphasizes education during this formative window, when guidance can still be firmly received and internalized. As Proverbs teaches, proper training in youth establishes a path that endures throughout one’s life.

[55] See Admur 156:7 “One who sees his friend sinning or following a path that is not good, it is a mitzvah to return him to the right path and to inform him that he is sinning against himself through his wicked actions, as it says (Vayikra 19:17), ‘You shall surely rebuke your fellow.’ If he does not accept [the rebuke], he must rebuke him again and again, even up to a hundred times, as it says, ‘You shall surely rebuke. And one must rebuke only his friend, not anyone else as if the person will not listen to him, he is not obligated to rebuke him.”; Admur 608:5 “However, when the prohibition is explicitly stated in the Torah, even if it is known to us that this sinner will not accept the rebuke—even if we inform him of the prohibition—nevertheless one is still required to protest and object to his actions. This is because all of Israel are guarantors for one another, and by protesting, one removes himself from that responsibility. Nevertheless, one should not rebuke him publicly more than once, and one should not repeatedly rebuke him in public, once it is clear he will not accept the rebuke. Regarding this the Sages said: “Just as it is a mitzvah to say something that will be heard, so too it is a mitzvah not to say something that will not be heard.” Nonetheless, one is obligated to rebuke him privately, even one hundred times, until the sinner rebukes him back and rejects the rebuke. Since the prohibition has been made known to him and he persists in transgressing it deliberately, every individual Jew is obligated to rebuke him, as it is stated: “You shall surely rebuke”—even one hundred times. If the sin is committed in private, he should initially be rebuked in private; if he does not abandon his ways, one embarrasses him publicly until he repents. However, if the sin is committed openly and publicly, he is rebuked immediately, so that the Name of Heaven not be desecrated.”; Rama 608:2; Rambam Mishneh Torah Mada Hilchos Deios 6:7 “One who sees his friend sinning or following a path that is not good, it is a mitzvah to return him to the right path and to inform him that he is sinning against himself through his wicked actions, as it says (Vayikra 19:17), ‘You shall surely rebuke your fellow.”; M”B 343:7; Shabbos 54b; 55a; Shavuos 39a; Erechin 16b; Rambam Teshuvah 4:2; Semag Asei 11; Kedoshim 19:17; Hagahos Maimanis on Rambam ibid letter Gimel; Tanya Chapter 32; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 169; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1 footnote 17; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 6:9-16

Background: The halachic discussion regarding until what age a father is obligated to educate his child refers specifically to the unique mitzvah of chinuch, which applies only so long as the child is below the age of bar mitzvah. Since the child is not yet independently obligated in Torah mitzvot, the Torah assigns the primary responsibility for his mitzvah observance to the father through the mitzvah of chinuch. Once, however, the child reaches bar mitzvah, the mitzvah of Chinuch naturally falls away, because the child now becomes personally obligated in all Torah prohibitions and commandments in his own right. At that point, the father’s role does not diminish—rather, it changes category. From this stage onward, the father is no longer acting under the special framework of chinuch, but instead becomes subject to the broader, Torah‑level obligation that applies to every Jew: namely, the mitzvah to rebuke and protest wrongdoing when witnessing another Jew transgressing a prohibition. This applies for all ages. This mitzvah, which takes effect once the sinner is of mitzvah age, is known as the mitzvah of tochachah. Accordingly, once a child reaches bar mitzvah, the father joins the general obligation incumbent upon all Jews to intervene when witnessing sin. Far from being exempt, parents—who observe their children’s behavior more closely than anyone else—are in fact among those most responsible and best positioned to fulfill this mitzvah. In fact, this explains the Sages’ teaching that one who has the ability to protest the wrongdoing of members of his household and fails to do so is held responsible for their sins. This liability does not stem from the mitzvah of chinuch, which no longer applies once a person reaches the age of mitzvot, but rather from the independent biblical obligation of tochachah—the duty to rebuke and protest sin when one is able to do so. Thus, the termination of the mitzvah of chinuch at age thirteen does not mean that a parent may now ignore misconduct. On the contrary, the obligation is elevated: what was previously a rabbinic duty of training is now replaced by a biblical mandate of protest and moral correction, carrying significantly greater halachic weight.

The difference between the Mitzvah of Chinuch versus Tochacha that is upon the father: One may therefore justifiably ask: what, then, is the substantive difference between the mitzvah of chinuch and the mitzvah of tochachah, and why does the father recite the blessing of Baruch she‑petarani once the child reaches bar mitzvah, if he nevertheless remains obligated to rebuke his child on a biblical level? The answer is that the mitzvah of tochachah applies only when the person being rebuked is halachically capable of responsibility and potentially receptive to correction—that is, when there is a reasonable expectation that the rebuke may lead him to change his behavior. Where the individual will certainly not listen, the obligation to rebuke no longer applies, and one is not commanded to continue reprimanding him. This limitation is inherent to the mitzvah of tochachah. This stands in sharp contrast to the mitzvah of chinuch. In the case of chinuch, a parent cannot excuse himself by claiming that the child “will not listen.” Rather, so long as the child is below the age of mitzvot, the parent remains obligated to actively educate, guide, and, where necessary, enforce mitzvah observance, employing age‑appropriate methods to ensure compliance. Accordingly, when a child reaches bar mitzvah, the father’s obligation of chinuch—which is a unique, parental, and rabbinic duty—comes to an end, and the father therefore recites Baruch she‑petarani. From that point forward, the father’s continued responsibility operates within the framework of tochachah, which is a general, biblical obligation shared with all Jews and subject to its own conditions and limitations.

[56] Shabbos 54b; M”B 225:7

[57] Admur 156:7

[58] Rambam Hilchos Sota, last Halacha

[59] Hilchos Talmud Torah Chapter 1 Halacha 6 “And likewise, the father must guide him in the path of moral conduct and fear of Heaven in all his ways and behaviors, while his authority over his son remains firm—that is, until the son reaches the age of twenty‑four years. As it is stated: ‘Train a child according to his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6). This training refers to the formative path that will shape his conduct throughout his life. Such education is to be carried out during his youth, specifically from the age of sixteen until the age of twenty‑four, for before the age of sixteen a child lacks sufficient maturity to fully accept rebuke. Excessive discipline and admonition should not be imposed too early, and beyond the age of twenty‑four there is concern that the son may rebel.”; Kiddushin 30a; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1 footnote 15

[60] Shelah Shaar Haosiyos Derech Eretz “from two or three years of age and onward, that goodness should become part of his natural character… and that he be accustomed to awe of his father, to be fearful and reverent…. But if during his youth one shows him excessive affection, then afterward, when he grows older, he will turn his ear away from listening to his father and mother….”

[61] Tanchuma Vayeira 22:3

[62] Pesikta Zutrasi; Tanchuma Tetzaveh

[63] Admur in Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:1; Michaber 245:5; Rambam Talmud Torah 1:6; Sukkah 42a

[64] Basra 4:2

[65] Mishnas Chassidim Miseches Iyar Vesivan 1:7; Shaareiy Teshuvah O.C. 531:7 in name of Gan Hamelech; Shivim Temarim Kapos Temarim 14

[66] Shivim Temarim Kapos Temarim 14

[67] See https://choc.org/primary-care/ages-stages/3-years/  “How Does My 3-Year-Old Child Interact With Others? While every child is unique and will develop different personalities, the following are some of the common behavioral traits that may be present in your child: Begins to share and likes to play with other children. Can take turns. Temper tantrums are less frequent. Begins to show feelings in socially acceptable ways.”

[68] Siddur Admur “A child is considered to have reached the age of Chinuch for the Mitzvah of Tzitzis from 6 years old and onwards.”; Lev Chaim 101; Ben Ish Chaiy Lech Lecha 14; Kaf Hachaim 17:10

Ruling of Admur in Shulchan Aruch and other Poskim: In 16:1 Admur rules that a child is considered to reach the age of Chinuch for Tzitzis from the age of 9. This follows the ruling of the M”A 16:1 and so rules M”B 16:9; See Bach; Sefer Hachinuch 386; Ridbaz 2:2

[69] Peri Haaretz 1 brought in Birkeiy Yosef 16:1; Chesed Lealafim 16:5; Many Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 16:2 agreed to this opinion; See Haaros Ubiurim 779; See also Beir Heiytiv 16:1 in name of Peri Haaretz who brings an opinion that holds of an even lesser Shiur; Piskeiy Teshuvos 17:2 writes the Shiur is to be a minimum of 24 by 24 cm on each side.

[70] Siddur Admur; Piskeiy Teshuvos 17:2 writes the Shiur is to be a minimum of 24 by 24 cm on each side for a 6 year old, however it should be 36 x 36 cm for a nine year old.

[71] Rokeiach 296; Seder Chinuch Hayiladim of Rabbeinu Efraim Mibuna; Seder Chinuch Hayeladim Sefer Hasufos 282; Shevach Habris p. 138; Shulchan Menachem 5:34; Hearos Ubiurim Ohalei Torah 1019 p. 44; Hiskashrus 904 p. 13

[72] Rama Y.D. 245:8; Igros Kodesh 12:288

[73] Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:1; See Rama 245:8 “Immediately after reaching age three, he is to be taught the letters of the Torah”; See Igros Kodesh 12:288; 14:39, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:33; Nitei Gavriel 19:1

[74] Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:1; Michaber 245:5

[75] Michaber E.H. 1:3; Kiddushin 29b; Pesachim 113a; Mishneh Pirkei Avos end of chapter 5:22; Rambam Ishus 15:2 writes from 17 years of age

The reason: Although in general, a person must fulfill all the Mitzvos as soon as he turns 13 years of age, nevertheless, the Sages received that regarding the Mitzvah of Peri Urevu it only begins at age 18. The reason for this is because one is required to learn Torah, and one only has time to properly do so prior to marriage. [See Michaber Y.D. 246:2] Now, the Torah learning of the Talmud begins from age 15, as stated in the Mishneh in Avos, [and therefore the Sages gave 2-3 years of learning the Talmud prior to marriage]. [Chelkas Mechokeik 1:2; Beis Shmuel 1:3; See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:1] The reason why the Sages stated one should get married at 18, even though it takes five years to complete Talmudic studies, is because it is possible to learn after marriage without too many distractions for about 2-3 years, prior to having many children. [Admur ibid]

[76] Igros Kodesh 13:23; 18:436; 20:175 “If only that the Ashkenazim would also get married at a very young age”; 23:221-222; 29:272; Letter 5,974 “You should be Makpid on the teaching in the Mishneh of 18 years old for marriage, as certainly the Mishneh is reliable and it applies to all types of Jews”; On the other hand, see Igros Kodesh 10:202; 28:341 [printed in Shulchan Menachem 6:95] where the Rebbe seems to resolve with the custom of getting married in the early 20’s and not 18 or even 20 years old.

[77] Beis Shmuel 1:3; Taz 1:3 in name of Maagid Mishneh; Biur Hagoleh 1:3 in name of Rambam; Maggid Mishneh on Rambam 15:1; Rambam Ishus 15:2 writes from 17 years of age; Aruch Hashulchan 1:11

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is to get married after completing his 18^th year, which is after his 18^th birthday. [Bach 1, brought in Taz 1:3]

[78] Michaber ibid; Yevamos 62b; Sanhedrin 77b; Rav Chisda in Kiddushin 29b “If I would have married at 14”

The reason: As he quashes his lusts and passions from the Yetzer Hara, and is like sticking an arrow into his eyes. [Kiddushin 30a; Rambam Issurei Biyah 21:25]

[79] Birkeiy Yosef 1 in name of Rabbeinu Yona in his Tzava, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 1:2; Aruch Hashulchan 1:11; See Igros Kodesh 29:272

The reason: As the people are weaker [i.e. less mature] and the generations have changed [and are thus unable to handle marriage at such a young age]. [ibid]

[80] Likkutei Torah p. 2a

[81] See Shabbos 89b; Yerushalmi Bikkurim 6b; Midrash Raba Bamidbar 18:4; Zohar Vayeira 118b, Hazinu 298:3; Rashi in Bereishis 23:1, and beginning of Ki Sisa; Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Sanhedrin 7:4; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 155; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 185:9; Chacham Tzevi 47 and 49; Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 164; Chavos Yair 166 [end]; Rav Poalim 3 O.C. 37; Chida in Pesach Eiynayim Chagiga 15a; Maharitz Chayos on Shabbos ibid; Pardes Yosef beginning of Chayeh Sarah; Shearim Hametzuyanim Bhelacha

[82] See Kaf Hachaim 343:5 and 31; Chida in Pesach Eiynayim Chagiga 15a; Maharitz Chayos on Shabbos ibid; Pardes Yosef beginning of Chayeh Sarah; Shearim Hametzuyanim Bihalacha; Toras Hakatan Chapter 40

[83] Shabbos 89b; Yerushalmi Bikkurim 6b; Midrash Raba Bamidbar 18:4; Zohar Vayeira 118b, Hazinu 298:3; Rashi in Bereishis 23:1, and beginning of Ki Sisa

[84] Tosafus Yom Tov Avos 5; Kisei Eliyahu 343:1; Kaf Hachaim 343:5

[85] Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 164, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 185:9

[86] Noda Beyehuda Tinyana Y.D. 164, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 185:9

[87] Chacham Tzevi 47 and 49

[88] Chasam Sofer Y.D. 155, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 185:9

[89] Chavos Yair 166 [end]

[90] Rambam Pirush Hamishnayos Sanhedrin 7:4;; Rav Poalim 3 O.C. 37

[91] Pirkei Avos 5:21

[92] Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:1; Rashi Avos ibid

[93] See Likkutei Sichos Vol. 20 Noach p. 19

[94] See Likkutei Sichos Vol. 34 Parshas Tavo Sicha 3 [p. 160] in length

[95] Avoda Zara 19a; Sotah 22b

[96] Rama 242:31; Beis Yosef 242 in name of Ran; Rashi Avos ibid; Semak

[97] Michaber C.M. 7:3; Beis Yosef 242; Avkas Rochel 201 p. 361; Kesef Mishneh and Lechem Mishneh on Rambam ibid; Rambam Talmud Torah 5:4; Birkeiy Yosef C.M. 10:5

[98] Michaber ibid

[99] Rama ibid

[100] Rama 242:31 [permits only if no greater Rav in city]; Pischeiy Teshuvah 242:16 in name of Shevus Yaakov 1:140 explains that only Issur Viheter is forbidden while Dinei Mamonus is permitted; Aruch Hashulchan 242:57; See Radbaz 6:2147; Maharashdam C.M. 1; Lechem Mishneh ibid; Divrei Halacha 242:13; Hilchos Talmud Torah of Rav Ashkenazi 2 p. 433; Shevet Hakehasi 1:263; Pesakim Veteshuvos 242:42; See Toras Menachem 5748 2:39

[101] See Shach 242:6

[102] Teshuvah Meahavah in Hosafos on 242:31; See however Yabia Omer 4 C.M. 1

[103] Shabbos 152a

[104] See Sichas Parshas Shemini 1963; Balak 1964; Shmini 1964; Yud Beis Tamuz 1965; Noach 1927; Naso 1968; Shavuos 1968; Dvarim 1980; 13th Nissan 1982; Ki Sisa 1984; Balak 1984; Mikeitz 1985; 12th Teves 1987; Vayakhel 1988; Ki Seitzei 1988; Hisvadyos 1991 Vol. 4 p. 298; See Otzer Minhagei Chabad ibid and Adar 211-214; Kuntrus of “Gezeiras Hamashkeh Bepurim” by Rav Nachmonson;

[105] See Sefer Haerechin Chabad Osiyos Hatorah Mem p. 164

[106] Avoda Zara 5b

[107] Sotah 2a; Sanhedrin 22a

[108] Mishneh Mikvaos

[109] Rambam Avoda Zara 1

[110] Likkutei Sichos 5:133-134; Shulchan Menachem 3:361

[111] Rav Yosef in Moed Katan 28a; Leket Yosher Y.D.

[112] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7; Toras Hakatan 14:18-21

[113] Admur 269:3; 343:7; 616:5; Michaber 616:1; M”A 269:1; Yuma 78b; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7

[114] See Bach Y.D. 273 regarding a child who is sleeping in Ohel Hameis that there is no need to awaken him and the 2^nd opinion in Admur 70:2 regarding the morning Shema that one is exempt from waking him up in the morning; See Or Letziyon 2:45-13; Piskeiy Teshuvos 70:2; Toras Hakatan 14:18-21

[115] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7

[116] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7