- Who is obligated to be educated in Mitzvos:[1]
It is obvious that the mitzvah and obligation of a father to educate his children in mitzvos applies to his sons, as is explicitly stated in the verse “ולמדתם אותם את בניכם”. There is no dispute among the poskim regarding this point. What is discussed, however, is whether this obligation also extends to one’s daughters, or whether it is comparable to the mitzvah of Talmud Torah, from which a father is exempt with regard to teaching his daughter. Along similar lines, there is further discussion concerning the extent of this obligation as it relates to other members of one’s household who are not biological children, and whether they are included in the father’s responsibility of chinuch.
- Educating one’s Daughters:[2]
The obligation upon a father to educate his children in the fulfillment of mitzvah’s applies even towards his daughter’s. [In this regard, it is different than the obligation of Torah study by which we rule that although a father is obligated to teach his son Torah, a father is not obligated to teach his daughter Torah. However, with regards to the obligation to educate one’s child in the fulfillment of mitzvah’s, it applies whether the child is a boy or girl.]
- ✍️ Educating Household members:
Not only is a father obligated to educate his biological children in the fulfillment of mitzvah’s, but furthermore, it is implied from the Poskim[3] that he is also obligated to educate all of the members of his household in the fulfillment of mitzvah’s even if they are not his biological children. Thus, an individual who has adopted a Jewish child is rabbinically obligated to educate that child in mitzvah fulfillment just like his own son and daughter.
✍️From the Rav’s Desk: Teenage Boarder Education
Question
I have a teenage boarder living in my home who attends the local Frum high school and participates in activities such as listening to non-Jewish music and watching movies that their parents—and I personally—would not approve of and do not approve of for my own children. From a halachic perspective, do I have an obligation as the head of the household to address this behavior, given that she lives with us, eats with us, and is treated like a sibling to my children? Or is it not my responsibility since they are not my child?
Answer
Yes, there is a halachic obligation. As the leader of the household, you are responsible for ensuring that all members of your home—biological or not—follow the path of Torah and mitzvot. Therefore, you should approach this matter with the same seriousness as you would with your own children. Of course, the method and tone of addressing the issue depend on the relationship and the individual’s personality, so it requires sensitivity and nuance. Nonetheless, the responsibility to act is clear.
Sources:
See Admur 167:23 “And all this is regarding an adult who does not know how to bless. But to train children, one is obligated to bless on every blessing of enjoyment in order to educate them in the mitzvos. And even if there is no obligation of chinuch (education) upon him, such as one who is not from his household.”; Aruch Hashulchan C.M. 290:30 regarding an Aputrapis; Betzel Hachochma 5:3
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule there is no obligation upon the father to educate his nonbiological household members any more than any other Jew. [Rashi Pesachim 88a regarding a master of a slave; Mishneh Halachos 3:26]
- Educating Students:
While we do find an explicit command obligating the sages to educate all students—including those who are not their relatives— in study of Torah[4], we do not find a comparable obligation with respect to educating them in the fulfilling of mitzvot. However, some Poskim[5] rule that a Rebbe is obligated to educate his students in Mitzvos.
- Shoteh – Educating a mentally incapacitated child:[6]
A child who is severely developmentally impaired and lacks the capacity for understanding is not obligated in the mitzvot of chinuch.[7] However, if the child is not severely developmentally impaired and is capable of some level of understanding—demonstrating awareness of his actions, a degree of comprehension, and the ability to progress—there is an obligation to educate him in the observance of mitzvot and to prevent him from engaging in prohibited conduct.[8] Accordingly, individuals who are on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum are obligated to be educated in Torah and mitzvot, just as any other child, in accordance with their abilities.
Protesting his actions:[9] There is no obligation for a father or any other Jew to prevent or protest a Shoteh who acts on his own initiative to perform a transgression. [It is even permitted to benefit from the mentally incompetent’s actions in such a case, if it was not done on behalf of the adult.[10] However, if the child is not severely developmentally impaired and is capable of some level of understanding—demonstrating awareness of his actions, a degree of comprehension, and the ability to progress—there is an obligation to prevent him from engaging in prohibited conduct, as we stated above.[11]]
Feeding him an Issur:[12] Although a person who is halachically classified as shoteh (legally incompetent due to mental incapacity) is exempt from the obligations of Torah and mitzvot, nevertheless it remains prohibited for others to actively cause such a person to transgress a Torah prohibition. [Accordingly, it is forbidden to feed a mentally incapacitated person non-kosher food. Even in a case where such food is required for health reasons, as long as it does not rise to the level of pikuach nefesh, one may not feed him Biblically forbidden food directly. Rather, it may be given only through a gentile, as will be explained in Halachah 8f.[13] Regarding rabbinically forbidden foods, see Halacha 8c.]
Institution without kosher food:[14] With respect to placing such an individual in an institution for the mentally impaired that does not provide kosher food, the Poskim[15] rule that it is permitted to send a child with severe intellectual disability who is below the age of Mitzvos to a non‑kosher facility.[16] Furthermore, if there is a chance that the individual will receive a cure in the institution and return to normalcy, then certainly he is to be sent there, even if he is above the age of Mitzvos.[17] However, once the child regains normal cognitive functioning, he is to be removed immediately from any institution that provides him with non‑kosher food.[18] This leniency, however, applies only where the individual is deemed completely incompetent (shoteh gamur). However, if the individual is not fully incompetent and possesses some capacity for understanding and education in matters of Torah and mitzvot—such as individuals with Down syndrome or similar conditions, or a cheresh[19] (deaf individual) who is capable of speech and comprehension—then one should refrain from sending them to such institutions, as they are amenable to at least partial religious instruction and observance.[20] [However, from the letetr of the law it is permitted even in such a case, as explained in Halacha 8f that for medical reasons one may instruct a gentile to feed a child even Biblically non-Kosher food.[21]]
- A sick Child[22]
With regard to a sick child, various leniencies apply in the mitzvah of parents educating their child that would not normally be extended to an adult. For example, it is permitted for a child who is ill to eat even foods that are biblically prohibited when necessary for his health, and the father is not obligated to protest his actions, although in certain cases he may not actually feed him the foods, as will be explained. [Based on this principle, the Poskim rule that a child who requires chametz-based foods on Pesach for his physical development and health is permitted to eat them. In such a case, the father may arrange for the child to be fed through a gentile.] This same rule applies for any prohibition which the child may need due to his illness.
How ill?[23] The above allowance applies even if the illness does not rise to the level of pikuach nefesh and even if he is only slightly ill to the point that he is not defined as even a Choleh Sheiyn Bo Sakana [i.e. not bedridden].[24]
Having a gentile feed the Issur food to the child: In the event of even slight illness, a father may instruct a gentile to feed the forbidden food to the child, as explained in Halacha 8f.
Directly feeding the child the forbidden food: All the above allowance is with respect to the adult or father making the non-Kosher food available for the ill child, instructing a gentile to feed it to him, or simply not protesting the ill child if he is seen eating it. However, unless the situation involves pikuach nefesh [or the matter is needed as part of the general development of the child as explained next], it is forbidden for any Jew to directly feed the child Biblically prohibited food, even if the child is sick as explained in halacha 8a.[25] This restriction however applies specifically when the prohibition is biblical. If, however, the food is forbidden only by rabbinic law, it is permitted for a Jew to hand‑feed the child when he needs it, in cases where a gentile is not available to do so, as explained in Halacha 8C.
Child needs the Issur food for general development: A child who requires certain foods or supplements for the sake of his physical development—such as young children who medically need specific nutrients or foods to support their growth and overall health—may be given those foods even if he is not presently classified as slightly ill. In such cases, it is permitted to even directly feed the child these foods, as they are necessary for his development and wellbeing. Thus, it is permitted to feed a child food on Yom Kippur.[26] [However, if the foods involved are prohibited by biblical law, then ideally a Jew may not feed the child directly, unless the food is not intrinsically forbidden and is merely forbidden at a specific time.[27] However, if the food is intrinsically forbidden then the food may only be made available to him indirectly, such as by instructing a gentile to feed him, or through similar means, and may not be directly fed. However, some Poskim[28] rule that all general necessities may be fed even directly to the child, even if they involve a Biblical prohibition, and so seems to be the plausible ruling. Accordingly, if a child is in need of a certain non-Kosher baby formula for his general health and development, from the letter of the law, it may be even directly fed to the child. However, see next regarding the custom.]
Important Note Regarding Non‑Kosher Foods:[29] All of the above leniencies of non-kosher foods apply only when there is no suitable alternative available and when the food in question is genuinely necessary for the child’s health. Otherwise, the accepted custom is to be extremely stringent with regard to feeding a child non‑kosher food, even in situations where it may be technically permitted for health reasons. This is because non‑kosher food is understood to cause a blockage in the child’s spiritual soul (timtum halev) and to negatively affect character development, as explained in Halacha 8C and Chapter 2 Halacha 3.
| Category | Obligation / Notes |
| Sons & daughters | The obligation of chinuch in mitzvah observance applies to both sons and daughters; a father is Rabbinically obligated to educate all his children, male and female, in the proper fulfillment of mitzvos. |
| Household members | This obligation is not limited to biological children; one is also responsible to educate members of his household in mitzvah observance, including adopted children and other dependents living in the home. |
| Students | No clear, universally accepted obligation upon a teacher to educate students in mitzvah performance (in contrast to Torah learning, which is a Biblical obligation upon teachers), though some authorities maintain such an obligation exists. |
| Shoteh (mentally incapacitated child) | A child who lacks any capacity for understanding (a full shoteh) is exempt from chinuch. If the child is capable of basic understanding and development—according to his abilities—he is obligated in chinuch, and one must educate him accordingly. |
| A sick child | In cases of illness or medical need, significant leniencies apply. When necessary for the child’s health or development, prohibited foods may be permitted through halachically acceptable means, as will be explained in later chapters. |
- A child who is sleeping:[30]
A child who is asleep does not need to be awakened in order to fulfill mitzvot. For example, if a child has fallen asleep and did not daven, count the Omer, recite Birkat HaMazon, or say Keriat Shema, there is no requirement to wake him for the sake of chinuch.
- A Child Not Yet Sufficiently Mature for a Particular Mitzvah
A child who has not yet reached the level of maturity required for a specific mitzvah is in general exempt from being educated in that Mitzvah. Exemptions apply especially when the child is below the age of chinuch. The precise definition of this age is discussed in Chapter 2 Halachas 1-5. Similarly, even in the case of a child who has already reached the age of chinuch, there may be particular mitzvot that are overly burdensome. This can include mitzvot that require extended focus and concentration, which may exceed the child’s current level of maturity and developmental capacity. All of these distinctions and their practical applications will be explained in detail in Chapter 2 Halacha 9.
Mitzvot that are overly burdensome:[31] Mitzvot that are excessively difficult or burdensome for a child are not included in the obligation of chinuch. Accordingly, a child is not required to fulfill mitzvot such as oneg Shabbat in the same manner as adults—for example, forcing him to eat fish, meat, or other delicacies. Likewise, there is no requirement to be particular that a child eat three full Shabbat meals in the adult sense, or quantities of food beyond what is reasonable for him.
Mitzvot Requiring Extended Concentration:[32] Likewise, included among the exemptions discussed above are mitzvot that require prolonged concentration, sustained focus, and present an excessive burden for a child. A child is therefore not obligated through chinuch to fulfill mitzvot that demand an adult level of attentiveness and consistency. Examples include praying all three daily prayers in their entirety like an adult; davening regularly with a minyan and listening attentively to the entire repetition of the Chazzan; reading Shanyim Mikra Viechad Targum; completing the full Megillah reading on Purim without missing even a single word or letter; and similar obligations that require intense focus over extended periods. Such practices are generally considered overly burdensome for a child, even one above the age of twelve. Accordingly, it is not customary to obligate children fully in these mitzvot upon reaching the age of chinuch. Rather, they are educated gradually, according to their capacity and maturity, as they approach the age of bar mitzvah, at which point full obligation takes effect.
[1] See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 4 and 14; See there 4:12 regarding a Treifa; 4:13 regaridng a Ger Katan, a gentile who was converted as a child
[2] Admur 343:2 “All this applies to others, but a father—since he is obligated by rabbinic decree to educate his son or daughter even in positive commandments once they reach the age of education”; Implied conclusion of M”A 343:1 [however see Machatzis Hashekel]; Toras Kohanim Emor; Tosafus Yesheinim Yuma 82; Rebbe Yochanon in Nazir 29 according to Rav Avraham Min Hahar; Shivas Tziyon 61, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 396:2; Machatzis Hashekel 343:1; Aruch Laner Sukkah 2b; Birkeiy Yosef O.C. 343:7; P”M Pesicha Koleles 343; Chayeh Adam Hilchos Brachos 66:2; Erech Hashulchan end of 343; M”B 343:2; Kaf Hachaim 343:8; See Orach Mishor Nazir ibid; Chikrei Lev O.C. 70; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 164 footnotes 39-445; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 4:1-9 and 9 [regarding Tumtum and Androganus]
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule a father is not obligated to educate his daughter in Mitzvos. [M”A 343:1 that so is implication of Reish Lakish in Nazir 29a; Machatzis Hashekel explains the M”A ibid leaves this matter in question; Shita Mekubetzes Nazir ibid in name of Tosafus and Rosh; Chidushei Rabbeinu Peretz Nazir ibid; Ramban in Milchamos Yuma 82b; Ran ibid; P”M 225 A”A 5 regarding why we don’t say Baruch Shepatrani by a Bas Mitzvah]
[3] See Admur 167:23 “And all this is regarding an adult who does not know how to bless. But to train children, one is obligated to bless on every blessing of enjoyment in order to educate them in the mitzvos. And even if there is no obligation of chinuch (education) upon him, such as one who is not from his household.”; Aruch Hashulchan C.M. 290:30 regarding an Aputrapis; Imrei Yosher 3; Yad David Pesachim 88a; Sdei Chemed Mareches Ches Kelal Get; Betzel Hachochma 5:3; Shevet Halevi 8:95; Chanoch Lanar 2:7 footnote 15; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:1 footnote 12; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid p. 166 footnotes 70-75; See regarding the Chiyuv of an Aputrapis to provide the children with Mitzvah objects: Tosefta Terumos 1; Gittin 52a; Pesachim 88a; Rambam Nechalos 11:10; Michaber C.M. 290:15; Admur 434:16; Chok Yaakov 434:15; See regarding the Chiyuv of a master to educate his slave: Encyclopedia Talmudit Erech Chinuch Volume 16 p. 167 footnotes 83-84
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule there is no obligation upon the father to educate his nonbiological household members any more than any other Jew. [Rashi Pesachim 88a regarding a master of a slave; Chikrei Lev O.C. 70; Pesach Hadvir 343:3; Mishneh Halachos 3:26]
[4] See Admur Hilchos Talmud Torah 1:8; Michaber Y.D. 245:3; Rambam Talmud Torah 1:2
[5] Migdal Oz of Yaavetz 3; See Rambam shavuos 12:8
[6] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:10; Kaf Hachaim 343:21-22; Encyclopedia Talmudit ibid footnotes 103-104; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] 4:10-11
[7] Minchas Chinuch Mitzvah 5; Pesach Hadvir 343:6; P”M Pesicha Koleles 9; Kaf Hachaim 343:8
[8] P”M 343 A”A 2; See Rambam Eidus 9:10; Oneg Yom Tov 153; Minchas Asher 2:47; Piskeiy Teshuvos 55:14; 139:7; 343 footnote 125
[9] Minchas Chinuch Mitzvah 5; Pesach Hadvir 343:6; Kaf Hachaim 343:8
[10] Biur Halacha 325:10 “Eino Yehudi”
[11] P”M 343 A”A 2; See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 125
[12] See Admur 266:10 “Nevertheless, when one gives it to him—or even to a cheresh or a shoteh—it must be given to them only after they have already lifted their feet to walk, and it must be taken from them when they wish to stop, in order that they not perform an act of lifting and placing (akira and hanacha), as explained above. For even though one is not commanded regarding their resting [i.e., cessation of labor], nevertheless, one is certainly warned by the Torah not to feed them a prohibited item directly, as will be explained in siman 343. And this, that one gives it to them in such a manner, is permissible, even though…”; Michaber 266:6; Tosafus, Piskei Riaz, Ramban, Rashba on Shabbos 153b; Rabbeinu Yerucham Nesiv 18:3; Kneses Hagedola Y.D. 157:56; Chasam Sofer O.C. 83; P”M Pesicha Koleles 2:1; 266 M”Z 4; Pesach Hadvir 343:7; Imrei Bina Shabbos 9; Amudei Eish 4:6; Kaf Hachaim 343:8 and 21; Toras Hakatan 16:4-11
Other Opinions: Some Poskim rule that there is no Issur of feeding a Shoteh non-Kosher food or other Issurim. [Terumas Hadeshen 62, brought in Chasam Sofer ibid; Shivas Tziyon O.C. 4; See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 121]
[13] See M”B 343:5; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 124
[14] Chasam Sofer O.C. 83 and in Hagahos 343:11; Maharam Shif O.C. 163; Orchos Chaim 343:1; Kaf Hachaim 343:22; Igros Moshe 2:88; Shevet Halevi 9:4; Minchas Asher 2:47; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:10; Toras Hakatan 20:11-17
[15] See Chasam Sofer, and Maharam Shif ibid, brought in Kaf Hachaim ibid that although it is permitted to send the child to such an institution until the age of Mitzvos, it is better not to being that the non-Kosher food will contaminate his soul.
[16] The rationale is that this is considered indirect consumption of non‑kosher food rather than direct feeding, which is prohibited. [Chasam Sofer ibid]
[17] Chasam Sofer ibid; Orchos Chaim ibid; Kaf Hachaim ibid
[18] Chasam Sofer ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 130 that this is a Chumra and not from letter of law, as he is being fed by gentiles
[19] See the following Poskim regarding the status of a Cheresh today when they have educational systems which teach them to talk: Tzemach Tzedek of Nikolsberg; Shut Shaar Hazekeinim 2 Beis Melo p. 135; Orchos Chaim 343:1; Kaf Hachaim 343:23; Kesav Sofer; Mishpitei Uziel; Minchas Shlomo 1:34; Piskeiy Teshuvos 55:14
[20] Chasam Sofer ibid and ibid; Minchas Shlomo ibid; Minchas Asher ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 125-127
[21] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 127
[22] See Admur 343:5 regarding asking a gentile to feed him an issur if he is in need of it; 343:5-6 and 8 regarding directly feeding him an Issur Derabanon for a need; Admur 450:24-26 regarding the allowance by Chametz; M”A 343:3; Tosefes Shabbos 343:3; Kaf Hachaim 343:16; M”B 343:5; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:12; 450:5
[23] Admur 343:5; M”A ibid; M”B ibid
[24] The reason we permit even if not bedridden: In cases where a child is classified as choleh sheiyn bo sakana—for example, if he is bedridden—significant leniencies apply, even with respect to an adult, and certainly with respect to a child. Accordingly, there is nothing novel in permitting such leniencies in that situation. The novelty here is that even when a child does not reach this level of illness, many of the leniencies normally afforded to one who is ill may nevertheless still apply to him.
The reason we only permit by slight illness: As for why the child must nonetheless be at least slightly ill, and why it does not suffice to rely on the established rule that a child is treated like one who is non-dangerously ill with respect to the laws of Shabbat: this is because, absent any actual need, there is no allowance to permit a child to be given even foods prohibited by rabbinic law as explained in Halacha 8c, and all the more so with regard to foods that are biblically prohibited. [Ketzos HaShulchan 147, footnote 5] Accordingly, the only circumstance in which it is permitted to allow a child to eat forbidden foods is when the child is at least slightly ill and the food is necessary for his health, or even if he is not currently ill, when the food is required for his physical development. Furthermore, the concept that a child is considered “like one who is ill” applies only until a certain age and does not extend all the way until bar mitzvah. By contrast, the leniency afforded to one who is slightly ill applies until adulthood. [See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343 footnote 141]
[25] Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 143
[26] M”B 343:3
[27] Admur 269:3 “It is permitted to feed a minor before Kiddush, whether at night or during the day. One may not cause affliction to a minor, for the prohibition against actively feeding a child applies only when the food itself is intrinsically forbidden, such as non‑kosher food and the like. However, when the food is intrinsically permitted but the time is one during which eating is prohibited, it is permitted to feed it to a minor. Thus, minors are fed on Yom Kippur, even one for whom there is no concern of danger were he to fast.”; 471:10; 616:1 “Accordingly, it is permitted for an adult to feed a minor, give him drink, apply ointment to him, and wash him with cold water.”; Rama 612:10; 616; Magen Avraham 269:1; Tur 616; Sefer Hayashar Rabbeinu Tam Chidushei Hateshuvos 52; Rashba and Meiri Eiruvin 40b and Yevamos 114a; Mishneh Berura 269:1; Encyclopedia Talmudit Vol. 16 p. 187; This ruling applies even according to the stringent opinion cited by the Alter Rebbe, which prohibits feeding a child even a rabbinic prohibition as that stringency is limited to foods that are intrinsically prohibited in and of themselves, such as a piece of neveilah.
[28] See Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 143 based on M”B 343:3 who permits feeding eating and bathing child on Yom Kippur
[29] Rama Yoreh Deah 81:7 regarding an infant eating milk from a gentile, as explained in Shach 81:26; M”A 343:2; Tosefes Shabbos 343:2; Kaf Hachaim 343:11; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 4; Piskeiy Teshvuos 343:12
[30] See Bach Y.D. 273 regarding a child who is sleeping in Ohel Hameis that there is no need to awaken him and the 2nd opinion in Admur 70:2 regarding the morning Shema that one is exempt from waking him up in the morning; See Or Letziyon 2:45-13; Piskeiy Teshuvos 70:2; Toras Hakatan 14:18-21
[31] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7
[32] See Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7