Question:
Is a woman or girl permitted to eat or drink before Kiddush on Shabbos, whether on Friday night or Shabbos day? Some women have become accustomed to drinking or eating before Kiddush. Is there any basis for this practice?
Answer:
No. Women are subject to the same laws as men regarding the prohibition against eating or drinking before Kiddush. Accordingly, just as a man may not eat or drink before Kiddush on Friday night, so too a woman may not eat or drink before Kiddush on Friday night. Likewise, just as one may not eat before Kiddush on Shabbos day, so too a woman may not eat before Kiddush on Shabbos day. In fact, we find a potential stringency regarding women that does not apply to men. The Poskim discuss that according to those opinions who hold that women are not obligated in Shacharis, a woman becomes obligated in Kiddush immediately upon awakening and consequently may not eat or drink anything prior to Kiddush. Men, however, are generally permitted to drink water and, where medically necessary, even eat before prayer without first reciting Kiddush, as their obligation of Kiddush is postponed until after Shacharis. Thus, according to those opinions, women may actually be more restricted than men in this regard.
Why Then Do Some Women Think They May Eat or Drink Before Kiddush?
Aside from simple lack of awareness of the halacha and lack of household education in this matter, this misconception may stem from confusion with two entirely different halachic discussions.
- The Leniency for a Pregnant, Nursing, or Ill Woman Before Shabbos Begins
Some Poskim are lenient in certain circumstances for a pregnant woman, nursing woman, or sick person to drink before Shabbos has fully begun, such as after candle lighting but before sunset, or before formally accepting Shabbos. In homes where such leniencies were utilized, some may have mistakenly concluded that the prohibition of eating and drinking before Kiddush does not apply to women. In truth, these are unrelated issues. Once the obligation of Kiddush has arrived after sunset, the regular prohibition of eating and drinking before Kiddush applies to women just as it does to men.
- A Widely Misunderstood Responsum of Rav Moshe Feinstein
Another source of confusion is a famous responsum of Rav Moshe Feinstein that has often been inaccurately quoted. Some have claimed that Rav Moshe Feinstein permits women to eat before Kiddush because they are subordinate to their husbands regarding the timing of Kiddush, and therefore so long as the husband has not yet become obligated in Kiddush they may eat and drink. This however is not what he writes. While there is an element of truth behind the claim, the actual responsum is far narrower:
- He is discussing daytime Kiddush, not Friday night.
- He is discussing married women, not unmarried girls or single women.
- He is primarily discussing whether a woman may eat before davening Shacharis and rejecting those who wished to prohibit her from eating immediately upon awakening.
Accordingly, the responsum is not a broad license for women to eat before Kiddush.
On the contrary, according to his approach, once a woman has already davened, she may not eat or drink until Kiddush is recited. Furthermore, if her husband has already completed Shacharis and become obligated in Kiddush, then according to his reasoning she may become restricted even before she herself has prayed. Thus, rather than being a source for leniency, the responsum can actually lead to greater stringency in certain cases.
Bottom Line:
A woman is subject to the same prohibition as a man regarding eating or drinking before Kiddush. It is forbidden for women and girls to eat or drink before Kiddush on Friday night and before Kiddush on Shabbos day. The common misconceptions that have led some women to be lenient may stem from confusion with unrelated halachic discussions and from a misunderstanding of the responsum of Rav Moshe Feinstein. Accordingly, it is a mitzvah to publicize the correct halacha and ensure that this matter is properly understood.
Sources:
Admur 271:5 and 9; Michaber 271:4; Pesachim 106b; P”M 289 A”A 4; Tosefes Shabbos 289:3; 286:4; Kaf Hachaim 289:30; Igros Moshe O.C. 4:101 – 2; Minchas Elazar 1:33; 2:11; Peri Yitzchak 2:9; Daas Torah 271; Pischeiy Teshuvah 271 in name of Binyan Olam 7; Minchas Shabbos 77:2; Ketzos Hashulchan 75 footnote 17 and 79 footnote 3 [leaves in question]; Beir Moshe 8:64; Piskeiy Teshuvos 271:13; 289:8, 10