Question
For many years, our shul had a well-established custom regarding farbrengens. The Rav would generally speak first, followed by the Mashpia and other Torah scholars. Afterwards, anyone who wished could share a vort, story, thought, or personal inspiration.
Over the past few years, however, a different practice developed spontaneously. As soon as everyone sits down, whoever happens to begin speaking takes the floor. Sometimes this results in lengthy presentations of twenty or thirty minutes. At times, the discussion is Torah-oriented and beneficial to all; at other times it revolves around personal experiences and reflections that may not be particularly relevant to the broader audience.
This recently came to a head when a local Torah scholar, a person widely respected for his Torah knowledge, attempted to share a brief two-minute Torah thought during a lengthy presentation. The speaker became upset and publicly rebuked him for interrupting.
This has sparked a debate in the community. Should a farbrengen function as an open forum in which everyone speaks as they wish? Or should the Rav, Mashpia, Torah scholars, and elders be given the first opportunity to address the gathering, as was traditionally done?
Answer
Without question, both according to halacha and according to longstanding Jewish and Chassidic tradition, Torah scholars, Rabbanim, Mashpi’im, elders, and community leaders are to be accorded precedence at public gatherings. This includes being seated in places of honor and being given the first opportunity to address the public.
At the same time, this does not mean that they should monopolize the gathering. A successful farbrengen allows others to participate, share, ask questions, and contribute. The challenge is to create a framework that both honors Torah and allows broad participation.
Accordingly, the older model—where the Rav, Mashpia, and Torah scholars spoke first, followed by others—more closely reflects the halachic and traditional structure of a public Torah gathering.
Regarding the specific incident described, publicly shouting at or embarrassing a Torah scholar was entirely inappropriate. The individual should seek forgiveness for doing so.
Explanation
The issue here is not merely one of etiquette or communal preference. It touches on a basic halachic value: the obligation to honor Torah and those who represent it.
The Poskim rule that one must show honor to Torah scholars, teachers, elders, and community leaders. This honor is not limited to standing for them or addressing them respectfully. It extends to public settings as well.
Indeed, the Poskim explicitly write that sages and elders are to be honored regarding seating arrangements at gatherings and are to be granted precedence in speaking before the public.
A public farbrengen is not merely a circle of friends sitting around a living room. It is a communal gathering. In every communal gathering, Torah must have a place of honor.
The Difference Between Participation and Leadership
It is important, however, not to overcorrect.
A farbrengen should not become a one-man show where only the Rav or Mashpia speaks while everyone else remains silent. One of the beautiful developments of recent years is that many people who otherwise would never share a thought have gained the confidence to participate. This is certainly valuable.
However, participation and leadership are not the same thing.
There is a difference between:
- Everyone having an opportunity to contribute.
- Whoever speaks first effectively taking ownership of the entire gathering.
The former enriches a farbrengen.
The latter often diminishes it.
A public gathering requires some structure. Otherwise, the loudest voice, the most assertive personality, or the person who simply begins speaking first becomes the de facto leader of the event.
From a Torah perspective, leadership of a public gathering should naturally be guided by those who possess Torah wisdom, communal responsibility, and spiritual experience.
What Should Be Spoken About?
Another important distinction must be made.
There is nothing wrong with sharing personal experiences among friends. In fact, Chassidim have long done so.
However, when one speaks to an entire farbrengen and expects dozens of people to listen attentively, what is said should ideally have relevance to the public.
Divrei Torah. A lesson in avodas Hashem. A meaningful story. Guidance in chinuch. Insights into current communal challenges.
These are naturally suitable topics for a public farbrengen.
Long discussions about personal frustrations, life details, or matters that have little relevance to anyone else may be appropriate among close friends, but are not necessarily what a public farbrengen is meant to revolve around.
When one addresses the entire table, he assumes the role of a public speaker. Public speaking carries with it a responsibility to speak about matters of public interest and spiritual benefit.
The Specific Incident
The particular incident described is especially troubling.
Even if one believes he was in the middle of an important presentation, publicly rebuking and shouting at a Torah scholar is unacceptable.
The Poskim describe shaming Torah scholars as a grave matter. Community leaders likewise deserve honor and respect.
Furthermore, the halachic ideal is that Torah scholars should have been given precedence from the outset. Had the gathering followed the traditional format, the entire conflict likely would never have occurred.
This is not to say that every scholar must speak, nor that every scholar wishes to speak. Some scholars are naturally reserved and avoid pushing themselves forward. Precisely for that reason, the community should create an environment that respects them and gives them the opportunity to contribute without needing to fight for attention.
A Suggested Model
The traditional structure remains the healthiest:
- The Rav speaks.
- The Mashpia speaks.
- Other Torah scholars and elders are invited to share.
- The floor is then opened to the broader community.
This model preserves the honor of Torah while allowing broad participation. It gives everyone a voice without placing Torah leadership on equal footing with whoever happens to begin speaking first.
Sources
The obligation to honor Torah scholars, Rabbanim, Roshei Yeshiva, teachers, elders, and community leaders: Michaber Y.D. 243-244; Taz 244:10; Shach C.M. 420; Aruch Hashulchan 243:6
The prohibition against shaming Torah scholars and community leaders: Michaber Y.D. 243:6; Rambam; Sanhedrin 99b; Gilyon Maharsha 243:6; Aruch Hashulchan 243:6
The requirement to seat sages and elders at the head of the table and give them precedence to address the public: Michaber Y.D. 244:18; Admur 167:19; 201:3; Megillah 28a; Tosafus ibid; M”A 201:4; Rashi Gittin 59b; Shach 244:14; Taz 244:10
The obligation to honor even those who are simply greater than oneself in Torah: Yad Avraham 244
The principle that a Torah scholar deserves honor even when personally willing to forgo it: Shiyurei Bracha 243; Birkei Yosef 246:21